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// Chapter 33: A Brushing 
// Story: The Life of Penumbra Heartbreak 
// by Unwhole Hole 
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The mirror reflected what it always did, but Penumbra was less sure of what she was staring at than she had been for her whole life. She saw her reflection, her narrow body, her large pointed eyes- -but wondered what that truly meant, in the scope of her life. 
Facet had finished brushing Penumbra’s mane quickly, considering how little of it was left. She had since moved on to Penumbra’s wings, carefully removing dead feathers and straightening the rest while applying black dye to those that were reverting to their normal violet color. The wrong color, or so Penumbra was told. 
“I can’t believe you actually hit the king,” whispered Facet, still in awe of the news. “King Sombra! You actually stood up to him! Nopony’s ever done that before!”
“I did what was appropriate for the context,” said Penumbra dismissively. “He attacked, and he expected an appropriate response. I only did what he wanted me to.”
“But I heard that you shot magic, right into his chest- -”
“Which was a lucky shot. He was distracted. I’m not sure by what. But in a real duel? The kind where we have to bow to each other? I wouldn’t have lasted ten seconds.”
“You’re selling yourself short.” Facet pulled several feathers and straightened those nearest to them. “I don’t know if I should tell you...”
Penumbra turned her eyes to look at Facet in the mirror. Unlike most crystal ponies, Facet did not recoil at her gaze. “What? Did I do something wrong?”
“No. It’s just that...” Facet sighed. “Sometimes ponies forget we’re here. The crystal ponies. That we listen to things, see things. There’ve been rumors. About you.” 
Penumbra’s mood sank. “I see. No doubt unpleasant ones. Or ones concerning me dancing on a table in the nude.”
Facet dropped her brush in shock. “You- -you WHAT?!”
“I don’t think I’ll ever eat sugar again.” Penumbra levitated Facet’s brush. “I also apparently fought a griffon. Knocked his teeth out, supposedly.”
“I’ve never seen one up close, but...they don’t have teeth.”
“I know.”
“That’s not what I meant anyway.” Facet ran the brush through Penumbra’s wing. “Crystal ponies don’t like dancing anyway. Even seeing dancing is a criminal offense. A bad one. No. There were different rumors.” 
“About the monster that wandered through the district,” sighed Penumbra. She was all-too-aware of the horn her reflection bore, and how it also showed her long, fluffy wings. The marks of a demon, and an enemy to the state. 
“About a pony that stopped a group of upper-race ponies from beating a dangling prisoner, and a princess who released her.” She switched to the other wing. “Or about a young mare who fought off an enemy infiltrator all alone when the Blue Knight was injured, and then held back the Slaughterer with all her might in a show of mercy. Not to mention defeating the strongest wizard in the kingdom, and- -”
“Taking off the Mask of Red Death and dooming my teacher. I know.” 
Facet recoiled. “I beg your pardon, my princess, I didn’t mean- -”
“I know, Facet Flare. But the rumors look pretty in hindsight, don’t they? Ponies talking about how heroic they think I am.” She turned and looked over her shoulder. With the size of her eyes, it was not difficult. “But when I was actually out there? They screamed. They called me a monster and ran. I got hit in the face with a brick.”
Facet gasped. “A brick? Like, as in- -”
“It may have been a paver.” Penumbra shrugged. “It’s not the point.” She pointed at the mirror. “They see that. A monster. Because I am. I know that, and I think I hate it. I’m supposed to be stronger than my father, because that’s what a weapon does. I exist to do what he can’t. But if they fear him already, what does that make me?”
Facet sighed and resumed brushing. “I am just a slave, princess. I do not know the answers to such things.”
“We are all slaves,” replied Penumbra. “Slaves with different titles. That is how the world is supposed to be run. But...” She paused. “...if you have any thoughts, you can say them. I don’t mind.”
Facet smiled, and continued brushing. “You know, princess, I remember when you were just a little foal. Just a baby.”
“Yes. That was six months ago. Most ponies remember that. Except me.”
“It only lasted for half a week, before you were talking. Not that you could say anything. I watched you grow up. I’m fifteen, and now you’re older than I am.”
“Only in appearance.”
“But I’ve known you your whole life. And, well...when ponies see you, I don’t think they see YOU.”
Penumbra frowned. She was not wearing makeup, so the expression seemed strange without white and black paint to dampen it. “What else would they see?”
“They see Celestia, or Nightmare Moon, because you’re an alicorn. One our enemies. Terrifying enemies that want to hurt us, to do worse things than Sombra ever could. Or, they look at you and they see Sombra. And of course we’re always afraid of him, or else we get dangled.”
Penumbra paused, thinking. “But they don’t see me?”
“No. But not because they can’t, just because they haven’t had time yet.” 
Penumbra stared at her reflection, and then smiled. It was the first time she had ever seen her face like that. Facet Flare smiled as well, and completed brushing Penumbra’s wings. 
Suddenly, Penumbra sniffed. “Do you smell that?”
“Likely the dye. We stopped using perfume, as you requested.”
“No. Herbs. Poisons. Honey.” Penumbra pointed. “Crozea is on the other side of that door.” 
As she said it, the door opened and Crozea stepped in. 
“Lady Crozea,” said Facet, bowing and immediately reversing to the nearest wall where she could attempt to vanish in the background. Penumbra rotated in her chair, being careful not to smudge the still-damp dye on her wings. “Lady Crozea,” she said, bowing slightly. 
Crozea removed her mask. She did not appear happy beneath it. “My dear, I had a feeling you would be here.”
“Where else would I be?” 
“What a question to ask! Perhaps on a table, shaking your- -”
“So you heard. I already made the report to the king. The matter is closed.”
“Closed? You suck out of the Citadel late at night! Did I not teach you wrong from right? And you took the TUNNELS, those rank holes! You could have been eaten by stoats, a zeugl, or pony-devouring VOLES!”  
Penumbra was surprised at her reaction- -and more surprised by how it was agitating her. “There weren’t any voles. Just a few snorks.” 
“Do not take the dangers of this Empire so lightly! Dangerous things live here, and they creep out nightly! And while you  made it out of the tunnels, true, the city is full of things and ponies that could hurt you!” 
Penumbra stood. “Why are you yelling at me?”
“Because did not that night I warn you of the dangers? Of the monsters and criminals and strangers! And I thought you understood, only for you to defy my warning every way you could! How could I expect that you would show me such disrespect?”
“Disrespect?” Penumbra took a step forward, but Crozea did not back down. “How about THIS for disrespect? I talked to Zither- -who was WITH ME most of the night!- -and he said I’m not actually forbidden from going out in the city! That’s not my father’s rule, it’s YOURS!” 
Crozea’s eyes narrowed. “So the breezietale knight has sunk deep into his dereliction. I made that rule for your own protection.”
Penumbra’s jaw dropped, and she nearly stumbled. “W- -wait? That’s actually TRUE?”
Crozea’s eyes widened. She had been inadvertently tricked, and there was no way to take back what she had said- -especially in rhyme.  
“But- -but it’s my kingdom. I’m supposed to help my father rule it- -and you won’t even let me see it?!” Penumbra was not sure why she had suddenly grown so angry, but it felt good. All the time she had been trapped in this place, not allowed to see the city or the Empire or all the things Emeth had showed her, it had been Crozea- -and ONLY Crozea- -who had kept those wonders from her. “WHY? Why would you do that, Crozea?”
Crozea’s expression grew sad. Not severe or angry, just sad, though Penumbra was too incensed to notice the pain in her gaze. “Because the world is a cruel place, drowned in sorrow and grief. I only wanted more than anything to keep you safe.” 
“Is that what you call it? ‘Safe’?”
Penumbra and Crozea turned,with the latter being far more surprised that a slave had dared to speak than the former. From the shadowed corner of the room, Facet Flare was glaring hard at Crozea.  
“You speak out of turn,” snapped Crozea. “For this crime, you could burn!”
“My loyalty to Lord Sombra is absolute.” Facet stepped forward, to Penumbra’s side. “And that loyalty extends equally to his daughter, the Divine Princess. It does NOT extend to you.”
“Close your speaking hole, before I use your bones to fill my divination bowl.”
“Let her speak,” protested Penumbra, more out of defiance than anything else. “At least SHE isn’t keeping me here like a prisoner.”
Facet bowed, and stood straight, as if trying to stare Crozea down. Crozea herself had never seen a crystal pony behave this way, and it stirred distant memories in her mind. This was not loyalty driven from fear, but something else entirely. Something she had not witnessed in many decades. 
“Princess Penumbra, the night you departed, Lady Crozea left you a vial of delicate juice.”
Crozea gasped, seeing where this was going. “You filthy slave-mare, you wouldn’t dare- -!”
“I remember,” said Penumbra, ignoring and speaking over Crozea’s protest. “I didn’t drink it. If it tastes anything like cider, I would have hated it anyway.”
“You may not have. But I did. My apologies, my princess, but it was a fortunate thing I did- -for the drink was laced with deadly poison!”
Penumbra was not surprised, at least not initially, simply because she did not believe it- -until she saw the look on Crozea’s face. Then, in that moment, the anger inside her changed. It felt like something broke. 
“It...it was?”
“I gave up a toadstone to save your life, and this is how your repay me, with discord and strife?!”
“CROZEA. Is it true? Was that juice...was that poison?”	
Crozea’s eyes widened. “I did not place it there, there is no need to start a scare- -”
“Is it TRUE?” Penumbra’s voice rose high to a pitch that she had not known she could scream. 
Crozea fell silent. Then, slowly, she nodded. 
Penumbra took a step back. “And the other assassination attempt, when I was almost strangled- -you’re the only one who has access to my room, and the only biomancer- -”
“Penumbra, you’re getting ahead,” said Crozea, speaking calmly. “I have no reason to want you dead.”	
“But you had the opportunity.” Penumbra took another step back. Her mind was reeling at the possibility alone, that the being she trusted most in the world might have tried to behavior. In this state, her mind began to make connections. To form terrible conclusions. “You- -you kept me from going outside. From being seen...” She looked up at Crozea, her eyes wide and trembling. “You’re ashamed of me.”
“Penumbra, no- -”
Penumbra did not give her a chance to rhyme. Her betrayal was slowly turning back to anger, and this time so much worse than before. “You made me like this. Force-grew me, since I was born- -but then you hid me away, because you were ASHAMED!” Penumbra took a step forward. “So you tried to get rid of me? Is that it? IS IT?!”
Crozea reached out to slap Penumbra. Penumbra dodged her hoof easily, but the very idea that Crozea would strike her was so much worse than any physical blow. 
“Your best interest has always been my cause, and no other! I raised you as if I were your mother!”
“You’re NOT MY  MOTHER!”
Crozea recoiled as if she had been struck- -but her mind had already formed a retort, summoned by instinct to strike back when struck. “And yours lies buried in the earth, because she died giving BIRTH!”
Facet Flare gasped, covering her mouth. Penumbra’s eyes widened, as did Crozea’s.
“I- -no- -Penumbra- -”
“I...I had a mother?” Penumbra’s face contorted as the implication dawned on her. “I...I never thought...never realized...but...” She froze. “Then it’s my fault.” 
“My words have cut too deep; that was my secret meant to keep- -”
“Shut up.”	
“My cruelty I deeply regret, please, if you could just forget- -”
“I said shut. UP.” Penumbra looked up, glaring through her tears. “Just get out.”
“Penumbra, please- -”
“Get OUT!” Penumbra charged her horn and fired a concussive blast at Crozea- -but the spell faltered and fizzled, producing barely a plume of sparks. 
Penumbra collapsed on the ground in a sitting position. “Just go,” she said. “My magic...I don’t even care. I can’t stand the sound of your voice and your moronic rhyming. Never speak to me again. And if you come for my life again, I’ll consider it a crime against Sombra...and deal with you accordingly.”
Crozea stared for a moment longer, and Penumbra saw that she was crying as well. 
“If that is how it must sit, so be it.” She put her mask back on and fastened it tightly. Then, without a sound, she departed. 
The whole of the room was silent for several minutes, and neither Penumbra nor Facet spoke for what seemed like a long time.
“Princess?” Facet finally said.
“This will be the first night I go to bed without her saying goodnight,” said Penumbra, wiping her eyes on her foreleg. “But I’m tired. And I’m going to bed. And if you tell anypony you saw me crying...”
“I was in the other room the whole time,” said Facet. “Cleaning up the maid’s quarters. I never saw a thing.”
Penumbra smiled, but weakly. She had never felt so bad before. Sleep was all she knew to do.