//------------------------------// // CRISIS: Equestria - Chapter Thirty-eight // Story: CRISIS: Equestria // by GanonFLCL //------------------------------// CRISIS: Equestria Chapter Thirty-Eight: Incarceration It was a beautiful day in Canterlot. The sun was shining a glorious blue, the birds were singing showtunes, and the air smelled of warm, buttered popcorn. A line was forming at the palace gates as ponies from all over the city and beyond came to petition the princesses for aid. Two ponies on the royal palace lawn disputed which sort of shampoo would work now that the entire lawn had been turned into hair. A royal guard’s sword turned into a tuna fish and escaped from its sheath. Princess Cadence stared blankly out the window of her room at the royal palace. “It’s getting worse,” she muttered. Cadence looked exhausted, at the end of her rope. Weeks of holding court in Celestia and Luna’s stead was, to be blunt, draining her of every ounce of energy she had. She rubbed the bags under her eyes and turned from the window. “Well, at least the sun isn’t screaming today.” She went into the bathroom to get cleaned up before heading into court. Shining Armor was already there, brushing his teeth. She came up behind him and set her head against his. “Morning, honey.” Shining spit toothpaste into the sink. He looked just as bad as she did, maybe worse - he knew more about Canterlot politics than her and stayed by her side every moment he could to help her with her duties, but despite his own soldierly endurance, he lacked her supernatural alicorn hardiness. “Morning. I don’t hear the sun today, is that a good thing?” “Yes and no. It’s blue this time.” “Ah. And the sky?” “Surprisingly unchanged, but I don’t think that means things are improving.” Cadence went through her brief morning routine as Shining finished with his. Teeth, brushed; mane and tail, combed; coat, cleaned; makeup, applied. By the time she was done, Cadence looked almost as good as her normally bright-eyed, bushy-tailed self would before all this stress. It helped put the ponies of Equestria at ease if she gave the impression that she was handling this crisis without worry. She and Shining were ready to face the day. So, they made their way from their chambers to the royal court. A few guards were present, alert and astute. Cadence envied them. They could do their duties in shifts, but even they were beginning to look haggard. She worried for her husband’s health, as he did not afford himself the same courtesy despite being well within his rights to do so. It did make her love and appreciate him all the more. When all this was over, she’d already decided they were going on vacation; rather, a second honeymoon. As Cadence sat on the royal throne, one guard pony, a brown pegasus with a red mane, came to speak to her. “Princess Cadence, good morning.” Cadence smiled. “Good morning, Sturdy Oak. Any news from the Crystal Empire?” “Nothing new, Princess. The Empire is still mostly unaffected by the current crisis, but border reports indicate that it won’t be long until that happens.” “And Sir Spike?” “His latest correspondence suggests that he’s stressed, but handling it, and again repeats his thanks for trusting him to handle things there.” “I could think of no one better to hold court in my stead than the Dragon Hero himself,” Cadence said with a smile. “To Canterlot business, then. How many petitioners this morning?” “There are approximately two dozen waiting for an audience already.” “Ah, a slow morning today. Very well, show the first pony in, please.” Sturdy Oak paused as he looked at Cadence’s face. He could recognize exhaustion well enough. “Princess, we could certainly wait a few minutes if you’d like. Take some time to eat a small breakfast, perhaps?” “You ask that every morning, Sturdy Oak. And while I appreciate the concern--” Cadence shook her head. “It won’t do to keep them waiting. Show the first pony--” There was a sound like cracking thunder, and suddenly the room went dark as night. The guard ponies all immediately drew weapons and poised themselves for combat. Shining Armor put himself in front of Cadence. Then, as soon as it came, the darkness abated, replaced with an odd, hazy purple glow that pulsed throughout the room. The thunder crackled again, and with it, the air in the center of the court started to churn. “Sir?” one of the guards asked, looking to Shining Armor. “What is this? Changelings?” “I don’t know,” Shining replied, eyes darting around the room. “Stay alert.” After a moment, a hole tore itself in the air, a swirling vortex of darkness that exhaled a great wind with it. The guards found themselves pushed back from the sheer force. Shining Armor lit up his horn to form a shield and prepared for the worst. To everypony’s surprise, a pony stepped out of the vortex. A tall, lean, silver stallion with a long horn and great wings, his mane a stunning gold. He was impeccably dressed and groomed, the picture of pristine perfection. One of his eyes glowed a bright gold while the other was fairly normal. He planted his hooves firmly on the floor of the court, and the vortex behind him vanished with another thunderous boom. The room otherwise returned to normal. The guard ponies regained their composure and surrounded the stranger. The stranger looked among them without fear, or even curiosity, just an unnerving, penetrating stare, as if their presence was beneath his notice. He seemed more interested in taking in the room’s decor and layout. Shining took a step forward, shield raised. “Halt! Identify yourself!” The silver stallion turned to Shining and spoke. “I assume this is Canterlot Palace?” He observed the royal decor and the guards around. “It certainly has a ‘royal’ ambiance: exquisite decorations, armed guards, a throne. Though perhaps it is just a finely-crafted set piece - the scent of popcorn is out of place. I don’t suppose--” “I asked you to identify yourself,” Shining asserted, taking another step forward. His guards followed suit, weapons raised. “Forgive me, I get caught up in my observations at times. Also, I find it poor etiquette to demand identification from anypony without stating their own, at least in the context of our current situation. You seem like you’re in some place of diplomatic authority, and you’re addressing a stranger here on clearly diplomatic terms.” Shining chanced a look back to Cadence, who remained calm and collected, staring straight at the mysterious stranger. He then faced the stranger again, shield still raised. “I am Shining Armor, and I lead the royal guards you see here. You are indeed in Canterlot Palace, however, as you are a stranger to us, that means you’re trespassing. Identify yourself and state your business.” “A pleasure, Shining Armor,” the stranger said, dipping his head slightly. “Forgive my curtness, I’m just accustomed to being greeted and addressed in a certain manner befitting my station. My name is Lord Silvertongue, and I have traveled far to come here.” “Lord of where, exactly?” Silvertongue pondered this for a brief second. “I suppose as of now, Lord of Equestria.” “You can’t be ‘Lord of Equestria’, the kingdom is ruled by the princesses, Celestia and Luna,” Shining stated. He glanced to his guards around the room, giving them a silent signal to prepare to attack this apparently hostile stranger. “Explain yourself.” The signal was not missed by Silvertongue. “Oh no no, you misunderstand. Please, tell your guards to stand down, I mean you no harm,” he said with a smile. Shining stood firm. “You have ten seconds to explain yourself--” “I am Lord of Equestria, as I stated, but not of this Equestria. I am Lord of my own Equestria, a world far different from this one, though we seem to share a name.” He glanced out the window. “Our sun isn’t blue, for one thing. Nor does our air smell of--” He sniffed. “Popcorn? Ah, freshly buttered as well, not an unpleasant aroma.” Shining let his shield relax for a brief instant. “You’re… from another world?” “Yes, quite. And I’m here to help solve a problem I understand you’re having with yours at the behest of some acquaintances. If I might hazard a guess, that sun out there isn’t supposed to be blue, is it?” Cadence spoke. “It is not.” “Ah, now we’re getting somewhere.” Silvertongue turned his attention to her. “You seem to be in a position of higher authority than Shining Armor here. Are you Princess Celestia, or Princess Luna? I’m afraid I was never given a physical description.” “I am neither. I am Princess Cadence, a friend and companion of theirs, attending to courtly matters while they attend to… other matters.” “I see. Where might I find them then? I have urgent business that requires their immediate attention, and I don’t wish to speak further of it unless in proper company.” Cadence, while not used to dissidence in the court as of late, knew enough about Canterlot politics to play this game if this visitor wanted to play. “As acting head of this court, I would consider myself proper company to address matters of importance. Wouldn’t you?” Silvertongue smirked. “I would. Forgive me if I seemed rude, only you weren’t mentioned in any capacity as a ruler of this world. I was under the impression it was only Celestia and Luna, the latter only fairly recently if I understand correctly?” “That is normally the case, yes, but it isn’t now. I typically hold court in my own kingdom, but have stepped in to relieve Celestia and Luna at their request.” “Fascinating. I had not expected a third alicorn in this world. If I may, which field or concept do you hold as your domain? By which I mean, Princess Celestia and Luna hold dominion over the sun and moon, respectively, so surely you have your own dominion over some such concept.” “If it satisfies your curiosity, I am the Princess of Love,” Cadence replied. “Ah, and here I had chanced a guess at Princess of Beauty,” Silvertongue said with a coy grin. Shining Armor snorted, and SIlvertongue chanced a glance towards him briefly. “Ah… you two are a couple. It would explain your protectiveness thus far. Forgive me if I seemed forward, I am merely accustomed to complimenting other parties in these sorts of ‘highbrow’ conversations.” Cadence gave her husband a small smile, then turned her attention back to their visitor. “Your compliment is noted, sir. Now, if I may, you appear to be an alicorn as well. Might I inquire as to your own domain?” Silvertongue smiled. “Technically speaking, I am both Lord of Light and Lord of Darkness; Lord of Chaos and Lord of Harmony. I prefer Lord of Balance, myself.” “And here I had chanced a guess at Lord of Speech,” quipped Cadence. “Though your compliment has a twinge of mockery to it, I believe that might also be within my purview,” Silvertongue said with a smug grin. “Now, if we are done sharing pleasantries and satiating curiosities, I believe noted that I have urgent business to attend to. I have kept you far too long--” “And I believe I have proven myself worthy of being informed of the matter at hoof, so you can tell me whatever it is that brings you here from your world. What might that be?” “Very well, since you wish to continue your inquiry.” Silvertongue glanced out the window. “I am here to address a problem your world is experiencing, as it is my understanding that you lack the means to effectively stop it on your own. I believe you call him ‘Discord’?” A murmur swept through the room. Shining and Cadence shared curious glances at each other. “You’re here… to stop Discord?” Cadence asked. “I am here to address the problem, yes.” “Why?” Shining asked. “How do you even know about him?” Silvertongue smiled. “A small number of visitors from your world visited mine some time ago. They performed a series of favors for me and, in exchange, I am here to deal with this ‘Discord’ as it were. My understanding is that these visitors would normally be responsible for this task?” Shining quirked an eyebrow. “These visitors would normally--” Then, realization struck. “Twilight?” “Ah, then you know them?” “Twilight Sparkle is my sister,” Shining said, lowering his shield and stepping closer. “Is she okay? Where is she?” “They will be here soon enough, my good fellow, I assure you. They worried that it might be too late for them to arrive and stop this ‘Discord’, so I’m here to deal with the problem. It’s the least I could do for their assistance with my own matters.” Cadence narrowed her eyes. “If you’re powerful enough to bring yourself here, why didn’t you bring them with you?” “My method of travel is unsafe for those unaccustomed to and unprotected from the Void between our worlds, so I made this journey alone. Rest assured, methods are being taken care of back on my world to bring them home.” Silvertongue cleared his throat. “I am afraid, however, that in the midst of our conversation your sun seems to have turned into… a waffle. I assume that’s an ill omen?” Cadence and Shining looked out the window. The sun was, indeed, a glowing golden waffle in the sky, dripping with butter and syrup. Literally, as the hills on the horizon were covered with the stuff. “Thus,” Silvertongue continued, “it is of utmost importance that I see Princess Celestia and Luna, as I understand they are trying to keep him at bay. I merely come to offer my assistance, my dear ponies.” Shining and Cadence shared a long look together, before Cadence nodded and Shining turned back to Silvertongue. “Follow me,” he said, as he started off for the hall. *** Discord’s statue stood firm as ever, though covered in thousands of cracks, in the small room that Celestia and Luna had temporarily confined him too. The rest of the room, however, was less still - the ceiling and walls glowed with multicolored lights; the floor shifted to and fro like a conveyor belt. A resounding reverberation pounded against the walls at a constant beat from some unseen source. Celestia and Luna were not as stable as the statue of Discord, shifting about as the floor carried them wherever it wanted, though they still maintained a rigid focus on their magic. Despite this, Discord’s influence was visibly wearing them down; their coats had lost nearly all of their luster, their glorious manes now dulled and messy. Discord’s voice echoed throughout the chamber. “I was thinking just the other night, ‘Discord, you old rascal, since it’s so close to your day of days, shouldn’t we do something special?’ And I told myself, ‘Discord, that sounds like a marvelous idea!’ You know what I was thinking we should do? Have an old-fashioned shindig out in the middle of Canterlot Square, invite everypony in Equestria to come visit.” Celestia and Luna did not respond. “Oh, there’d be pie and punch, of course, but I can’t decide on a flavor. How does blurpleberry sound to you?” No response. “No? Maybe snozzberry?” Still nothing. “Oh you two are so boring. I really must do something about that when I get out of here. Liven things up. Maybe you two need a vacation. Luna, you’ve been to the moon before. I hear the Sea of Tranquility is lovely this time of year.” There was a knock at the door. “Ooh, guests! Come in, come in!” The door unzipped open with a comically loud zipper sound. Shining Armor and Silvertongue entered the room. “I do love having guests. Dealing with Princess Stuffypants and Princess Humdrum these past few weeks-- Oh look, it’s Shining Armor the Unfaithful. How’s the wife, Shiny? And who’s your friend?” Silvertongue eyed the statue with interest. “A draconequus. Truly an ancient creature. Most fascinating.” “Yes, fascinating,” Shining muttered. He turned to the princesses, who raised their attention to him and his visitor, giving the latter odd, scrutinous glances. “Forgive the intrusion, Princesses, but this is urgent. Presenting Lord Silvertongue,” he added, giving a proper dignitary gesture with his hoof. Silvertongue bowed. “Princess Celestia. Princess Luna. A pleasure, and a shame we could not meet under more fortuitous circumstances.” Discord snorted. “Pfft. Get a load of this guy. Is the Ren Faire in town, or are you trying to interview for Medieval Times? Does that costume come with a free face-painting or a complimentary goblet?” “Lord Silvertongue.” Celestia tilted her head just slightly in acknowledgement. “You say this is urgent? Pardon me if I seem curt, but I certainly hope it is.” Silvertongue nodded. “I assure you, your grace, it is.” Luna huffed. “Then please, presenteth thy case. My sister and I hath crucial duties to returneth to, as thou canst surely see.” “Yes, yes, of course. I’m here to address the problems you’ve been having with this Discord fellow.” Discord guffawed. “Ooh hoo hoo, this oughta be rich.” “You say you’re here to help?” Celestia questioned. “Forgive us if that sounds impossible, given our experience with the ‘problem’. Discord has been quite troublesome, but there is little any single pony could do about it. Even both my sister and I, with all our power, have only been able to keep him subdued.” “Although, thou art not just any pony, art thou? Thy form doth appear much like our own,” Luna observed. “Art thou an alicorn?” Silvertongue nodded. “I am.” Celestia eyed Silvertongue cautiously. “Most curious. I thought that the only alicorns were myself, my sister, and Cadence. How is it that another of our kind has come here, and to be of assistance no less?” “The truth of the matter is, your highness, I’m not from your world. My world--” “Oh geez, an alien? Ha ha ha!” Discord chortled. “Hoo boy, I guess there must be another Trek convention in town. How’s Picard doing, by the way? Or Janeway, for that matter? Y’know, I--” Silvertongue’s horn flashed, and in an instant the room returned to normal and Discord’s voice faded out. Celestia raised an eyebrow. “You silenced him. How?” “I believe you’ll find it is well within my power to do so,” Silvertongue replied. “This is just a temporary measure, however, that we may discuss matters in peace. I come from a world far different from your own and have come to deal with the problem you’re having in yours, as the ones normally responsible for fixing such a problem are in my world.” “He knows Twilight,” Shining interjected. This drew interested looks from Celestia and Luna. “Indeed. During their time in my world they assisted me with an endeavor of great importance, and I have come to repay them by dealing with this Discord problem you’re having.” “If you have the power to come here, why not bring them with you?” Celestia asked. “They could certainly solve this issue themselves, and there would be no need for you to trouble yourself coming here on your own.” “As I explained to Princess Cadence, the process could be dangerous for those unaccustomed to the Void between our worlds. Work is being done as we speak to bring them home, but until then I am here to ensure things go as planned.” Celestia narrowed her eyes. “Forgive me if I seem ungrateful, Lord Silvertongue, but with this one--” she gestured to Discord “--making mischief, I’ve become quite paranoid as of late. Do you offer any proof of these claims?” Silvertongue smiled. “I have met Twilight Sparkle and her friends Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie, and gotten to know them enough that I hope I can prove my trustworthiness. I know that they serve as what your world calls ‘Elements of Harmony’, and that in their capacity as such they are responsible with putting a stop to threats such as Discord here.” Luna glanced at her sister, then nodded. “Their status as the Elements is not common knowledge, t’is true. Thy claims seemeth genuine thus far, but--” “What endeavor did they assist you with, if I might ask?” Celestia interjected. “As an alicorn, my domain in my world is that of Balance, and as such my world is one where balance is paramount. There was a creature in my world, not too dissimilar from your own Discord, who sought to disrupt that balance. We called her Nihila. Thanks to the efforts of Twilight Sparkle and her friends, I was able to develop a means to banish Nihila to a state of being where she could no longer be a threat to my world’s denizens.” “That sounds like Twilight,” Shining agreed. Discord’s statue shook violently for half an instant. “Holy moley, kids, will you all just stop? Look, pal, I get that you might be kind of a big deal back where you come from, but this is my turf. I’m gonna be out of this stone prison within the hour, and you already see that it takes two alicorns to keep me in check without the Elements in their possession. Now, that was a fancy little display you had there, but listen buster, you’re messing with forces you can’t possibly deal with. You’re nothing, you hear me? Nothing!” He then laughed a wonderfully maniacal laugh. Silvertongue paused, and stared at the statue. “Are you finished?” “Yeah, thanks, I needed to get that out of my system. Villains gotta monologue, you understand?” “Quite. At any rate.” Silvertongue turned back to the princesses. “I can see that your wards on his statue to keep him sealed are quite powerful, but they are waning fast. He’s not lying when he says he’ll escape within the hour. Will you allow me to relieve you?” Luna and Celestia shared a look, then nodded. They let the glow of their horns subside, and for the first time in weeks they looked relieved. Silvertongue smiled. “Splendid.” With a flare of his horn, Discord’s statue vanished. Celestia and Luna stood in shock. “What… what didst thou do?” Luna asked, igniting her horn. “Where is Discord?” “I transported his statue to the center of Canterlot. He’ll serve as an excellent distraction when Twilight and company arrive.” Silvertongue pulled Tick Tock’s Timekeeper from his pocket and glanced at the time. “And they should be arriving any minute now. Perfect - Discord’s seal will be broken by then and they can ‘have it out’ however they wish, it matters not.” Celestia lit her horn as well, as did Shining Armor. “You tricked us!” Shining blurted. “You lied!” “Tricked you, yes. Lied, no,” Silvertongue stated, putting away the pocket watch. “Twilight Sparkle and her friends did indeed help me accomplish a great endeavor - destroying the alicorns of my world so that I could absorb their power. And, because they insist on stopping me from continuing with my own goals, I ‘dealt with’ your Discord problem by ensuring he will meet the Elements of Harmony as soon as possible. If that fails to defeat him then, well, I suppose your Elements of Harmony were a failure, and that is no fault of mine.” “You will not find us so willing to stand by while you ruin our kingdom,” Celestia stated. “If Twilight Sparkle considered you an enemy--” “Please, dim your horns, all of you - I assure you, in your weakened states you will be no threat to me. I bear within me the magical aptitude of two alicorns - a simple matter of mathematical superiority. If that doesn’t convince you, know that Twilight and her friends posed no threat either, and they’re more powerful in my world than in yours by orders of magnitude.” “What have you done with Twilight?!” Shining demanded. “If you hurt her, I swear--- “Nothing, my good fellow, nothing. Your sister and her friends are alive and well, and most definitely in hot pursuit. That’s why I needed Discord - as a distraction. He’ll buy enough time for me to continue forward unimpeded. I will say again, dim your horns. I do not intend on killing anypony here, as that defeats the purpose of my plans, but you would be surprised what you can live through.” Shining grit his teeth. “We’ll see about--” Silvertongue rolled his eyes, flared his horn, and a bright flash filled the room. When the light died down, Shining Armor, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna were on the floor, writhing in pain. “If I were so inclined, I would absorb the two of you and perhaps your associate Cadence as well, but in your current state it would be akin to eating out of the garbage after finishing a four course meal at a fine restaurant. Forgive me if that sounds crass, but facts are facts.” He turned to Shining. “Your sister is alive and well, Shining Armor and will be arriving in Canterlot Square within the next five minutes, where she’ll have Discord to contend with. Count yourself lucky that I let you live to perhaps see her again, assuming she, too, survives the coming conflicts.” Shining grit his teeth and glared at Silvertongue. “You… you’ll pay for this…” “I doubt it.” Silvertongue turned to leave, then stopped. “Ah, and when you do see your Princess Cadence again, tell her that she did a superb job at delaying me, even if she did so unintentionally. If not for her I would have left several minutes ago, hence the need to accelerate my actions here. It is rare for somepony to cause me such a thorough inconvenience - you should be proud.” With that, he turned from the room and headed out the door. Seconds later, the sound of thunder rippled throughout the palace, and SIlvertongue was gone. *** A portal tore itself open with the sound of a thousand crashing waves, letting loose a torrent of mares to fall to the ground beneath in a groaning heap. Rainbow was the first to speak. “That… was a lot different than the last time. I feel funny, anyone else feel funny?” Havocwing spoke up from beneath her. “I feel funny that you’ve got your fat ass in my face! Get off!” “Who’re you calling ‘fat’, chump?!” “I think I landed on somepony’s horn!” Velvet declared. “Yes, that’s mine, dear,” Rarity replied. “Cool, hey, can you move like two inches down--” “Ugh!” The thirteen mares quickly gathered themselves up and observed their surroundings. It was, at one point, the most beautiful city in Equestria: Canterlot. With its gleaming white buildings and tall spires, the city was supposed to be a beacon to all pony kind, a symbol of the elite, of royalty, and of elegance. Now, it was… not. The gleaming white spires were slowly melting candles that smelled vaguely of vanilla. The well-paved streets were made of rubber, and ponies nearby bounced along the streets rather than walked, and were none too happy about it. The sky was neon green, the sun was no longer a waffle but a soccer ball that rolled along the horizon - it was currently stuck in between two hills. “Great, Star botched the portal and we got whisked away to Wacky Land,” Velvet grumbled. Starlight stared at the scene, her eye twitching. “The spell was executed without error of any kind, Velvet. This… this is our destination, Sparkle? This is your world?” Twilight shook her head. “It is… but we’re too late. Discord’s loose.” “That shouldn’t be possible,” Tick Tock hummed. “According to Time Turner’s estimates we should have significantly more time, nearly an hour by my recollection. Hmmm… it’s possible that this is Silvertongue’s doing. His mere presence may have altered the itinerary, or he may have even purposefully released Discord.” “So, Discord is a distraction,” Rarity muttered. “What a loathsome, despicable fellow. I can’t believe I ever considered him handsome.” “Who’s Discord, anyhow?” asked Grayscale. “The local manifestation of chaos,” Twilight answered. “Basically, a god, not unlike your world’s Nihila. We need to stop him, and quick, before things get any worse.” “We also have more pressing matters in play here, Twilight,” Tick Tock reminded her. “Silvertongue is likely already en route to his next destination between here and Equestria Prime. Granted, Discord running loose could have drastic negative consequences here, but time is of the essence.” “We can’t just let him ruin everything, Tick Tock. Even if--” Tick Tock held up a hoof to stop Twilight from continuing. “No, it’s a necessary distraction, unfortunately. Discord going wild here throws off the entire balance of your world’s constitution, and it could very well have an impact on our attempts to pursue Silvertongue anyway. We mustn’t tarry.” “No problem,” Pinkie boasted. “One blast from the Elements of Harmony and he’ll back to just a lawn decoration. Piece of cake, easy as pie.” “Can’t we just blast him with our new powers?” Rainbow asked. To demonstrate, she jabbed a hoof in air in an attempt to fire off a bolt of lightning. Nothing happened. “Hey… what gives?” “Gilderoy and Harmonia said our powers are supposed to wane when we’re back in our world, remember?” Twilight reminded her. “I didn’t think it would be such an instant effect, though…” “Could be a side effect of Discord’s influence weakening your connection to the Elements,” Tick Tock suggested. “Your powers manifested the way they did because you drew them from Harmonia, after all, so perhaps you simply lack a… ‘battery’, I suppose.” “Perhaps we can be of some assistance?” Starlight suggested. “If the swift elimination of the threat of this ‘Discord’ is of critical importance to hastening our rendezvous with our father, then my sisters and I can certainly bolster your numbers.” She turned to Havocwing and Curaçao. “If that is acceptable?” Curaçao nodded. “I see no reason why we wouldn’t ‘elp zem.” Havocwing rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever. We’ll make it quick. Just point him out and I’ll kick his ass.” She pounded a hoof in the air, expecting to launch a fireball. Only the tiniest of embers burst forth, not even enough to start a fire. “What? Where’s the ‘kaboom’?” Grayscale flicked her wings. Nothing happened other than a normal, though strong, gust of wind. “Our powers aren’t working either?” Insipid poked Curaçao in the side several times. “Like, feel anything Curie? I’m not feeling anything.” Curaçao grunted. “Just you poking me, Insipid. Arrête s'il-te-plaît.” Velvet strained herself to try and manifest some of her blood outside her body, but all she managed to do was sweat. “Hey, don’t pop a gasket there, Red,” Havocwing said, concerned. “Phew!” Velvet breathed after giving up. “No go, girls. No blood, no fear powers, no nothing. Lame-o.” She turned to Twilight and the others. “How ‘bout you guys?” Applejack tapped the ground with her hoof. “Naw, nothin’s workin’. That don’t make sense, didn’t Harmonia say that us losin’ them powers would be like a… gradual thing?” “Perhaps there’s something wrong with the Elements of Harmony?” Rarity suggested. Twilight nodded. “That sounds likely. Harmonia said that you all drew your abilities from her while in her Equestria, because we normally have a connection to the Elements here. It would be Discord’s doing to mess with the Elements to put us at a disadvantage.” “That doesn’t explain us, though,” Velvet said. “We don’t draw power from your Element whozits or whatzits. We were born with our gifts.” “It would seem this world imposes a great limit on what feats of splendor certain ponies are capable of, perhaps relegating it to particularly poignant situations?” Starlight suggested. “I feel no decrease in my own capabilities. Sparkle?” “No, I still feel like me,” Twilight added. Havocwing snarled. “Bullshit! Why do you two get to keep your super magic?!” “Because Twilight was already powerful in this world,” Grayscale noted. “Makes sense that Star would follow suit, right?” Twilight rolled her eyes. “We can discuss how fair it is later, we need to get moving. C’mon!” Havocwing seethed through her teeth. “This world sucks.” The mares all set off for Canterlot Square. *** Discord swam through the air with brisk breaststroke motions. A dogfish passed him by, barking as it went. The rest of Canterlot Square was in varying states of bizarre: The central fountain was pouring up into the sky instead of down into the pool of water, and the liquid was white and gooey - liquid marshmallow; the surrounding builds were colored like tye-dye shirts; the street was made of cheese - muenster, if anyone was curious. Ponies had long since cleared out, so all that was left was Discord and his fun. Thirteen mares came running down the street into the Square. “Discord!” shouted one. Discord recognized it as Twilight Sparkle. “I was wondering when you’d show up,” Discord gloated as he sunk down to street level. He snapped his fingers. A golden throne appeared, and he took a seat before eyeing the group. “And you brought new friends. Wonderful. This should be entertaining.” “Stop this. Now,” Twilight demanded, stomping her hoof into the cheese. “Or what? You’ll use your ‘Elements of Harmony’?” Discord snickered. “Go ahead, try.” He stood tall and painted a bullseye on his chest. Twilight and her friends gathered in formation and focused themselves on thinking of the Elements. And they focused, and thought, and concentrated with all their might on manifesting the Elements and using their power. And yet, nothing happened - the Elements did not appear, there was no rainbow-colored stream of harmonious energy. “Is… is something supposed to be happening?” Havocwing asked. “You guys, like, look weird standing there all, like, scrunchy-faced and junk?” Insipid noted. “I look like that when I’m, like, thinking hard.” Rainbow huffed. “First no powers, now no Elements? Lame!” “What’s wrong? Why can’t we summon the Elements, Twilight?” Rarity asked. “You were right earlier, Rarity,” Twilight said, glaring at Discord. “Discord, what did you do to the Elements of Harmony? Why can’t we call them to us?” Discord guffawed. “You can’t call them because I’ve already dealt with that little problem. It seems that somepony was trying to find some replacement users of the Elements, a little backup plan I guess? Clever, if you ask me. Risky, but clever.” Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Replacements? For us?” Tick Tock interjected. “Looks like Time Turner figured out our idea on his own after all. I wish I’d known, we might’ve been able to avoid all this.” She turned to Discord. “And what’s become of these ‘replacements’ then? Did he find them?” “Yes, he did!” Discord said with a smile. “Pleasant bunch, all of them. But, the thing with those Elements of Harmony is, they need to work, well, in Harmony. Silly, right? I mean, it’s right there in the name. Well, you all remember how easy it was to turn that concept around on you, don’t you Twilight?” Applejack sneered. “You rotten, no good snake! What did you do?!” Discord crossed his arms and gave Applejack a scathing look. “First of all, rude. I’m a draconequus. Big difference - I’m only part snake. Second--” He snapped his fingers and six cages appeared out of thin air. There were mares in each, and Twilight and her friends recognized each of them. In one cage was the mailmare from Ponyville, Derpy Hooves; in another was the carrot farmer that lived outside of town, Carrot Top; another was the mint green unicorn that had a strange sitting posture, Lyra Heartstrings; another was a yellow-coated pegasus on the weather patrol, Raindrops; another they all knew personally as Cherilee, the schoolteacher; and the last, a familiar blue unicorn with a purple cape and hat covered with stars, who they knew as Trixie. They were all sufficiently dimmed in color, as were the Elements of Harmony they wore. “The thing with you lot,” Discord continued, addressing Twilight’s crew, “was that you’ve all been the closest of friends for a very long time. Breaking you all up and making the Elements inert was difficult, as if even one of you kept your Element’s power in your heart, you might just be able to restore the others. As you well know,” he added, looking at Twilight. “Let them go, Discord,” Twilight demanded. “Your fight is with us.” “On the contrary! Since your friend found these six here to ‘take over’ your jobs, they’re the Elements of Harmony now unless I decide otherwise. You guys are fired, got it? Time to get your pink slips and head home. Ta ta!” “What did you do with Time Turner?” Tick Tock asked. “Time Turner… oh! The stallion? Oh, he’s somewhere. I dunno.” Discord shrugged. “I think maybe I sent him through a montage of song-and-dance numbers as part of a monologue and he got stuck in a loop. I figured he wasn’t too important to the narrative so I just let it keep running. I might take him out of it later. Maybe. Anyway, since their bond wasn’t as strong as yours yet, I beat the six of these new Element bearers quite easily - only took me a few minutes. We didn’t even need to go to commercial! The six of you are just, well, has-beens. Not a threat.” “So… why wait here for us, then?” Fluttershy asked. “Just to gloat, I bet,” Rainbow scoffed. “Correct!” Discord exclaimed. Confetti sprayed all over Rainbow Dash, and Discord vigorously shook her hooves. “That is the correct answer, Rainbow Dash, fantastically done, congratulations! Show her what she’s won, Discord!” Another Discord appeared at the fountain and opened the air like it was a door. Behind the door was a pedestal. On the pedestal was a can of soup. “She’s won a lifetime supply of soup!” The other Discord applauded. “Soup! Wonderful! What kind of soup?” “Split Pea.” “Terrific, truly.” “Congratulations, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie cheered. “Pinkie!” Rainbow hissed. Discord popped back to his original position. “So, now that that’s out of the way, you has-beens can buzz off. Scram. Vamoose.” Twilight and her friends didn’t move an inch. Discord rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t give me that look of defiance. Fine, if you’re so keen on being sticks in the mud, here, deal with a maze for a while, tell everypony you tried your best if that makes you feel better about yourselves.” He turned to Tick Tock. “Oh, and I might as well send you to meet your friend, too. Seems appropriate.” Tick Tock’s eyes widened. “Oh bugger--” “Wait!” Twilight exclaimed. Discord snapped his fingers, and Twilight and her friends vanished. Only Starlight and her sisters remained. “Well, I’m off to sow chaos throughout the rest of Equestria. Ta ta!” A cane appeared from the left of him, snagged him, and pulled him away. “Hold it!” Havocwing shouted. Discord reappeared. “Oh. Oh, I’m so sorry, I got so caught up in my gloating, I never asked who you all are. Rude. Very rude. My apologies. Although I believe the responsibility of introducing new faces would have fallen to Twilight and her friends. Tsk, tsk. I thought she knew some manners.” He floated over to the mares and vigorously shook the hooves of Starlight, Havocwing, Grayscale, Velvet, Insipid, and Curaçao, all at the same time. “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Discord, and you are?” “We’re not here to make introductions,” Havocwing snarled. “We’re--” “Hi! I’m Insipid!” Insipid interjected. “You certainly are,” Discord replied. Havocwing put a hoof to the bridge of her nose and sighed. “This is Twilight’s world, and you’re screwing it up. They’re helping us with something important, so we decided, as a favor, we’d help them with something important, which it stopping you.” Discord gave her an incredulous look. “This is unexpected. And interesting. Let me guess - you six met Twilight and her friends and they taught you the maaaagic of friendship?” He shook his head and yawned. “How droll. Really, did they think just adding six more mares would make a difference? You don’t have the Elements of Harmony, and you certainly don’t have Twilight Sparkle anymore, so just pack it up, gang.” Starlight’s face lit up with a confident smile. “You are quick to fall into overconfidence, Discord. While you are correct that we do not possess these Elements of Harmony, nor is Twilight Sparkle present, these factors actually hold little regard in our immediate circumstances.” She lit up her horn. “You will, of course, soon regret that you are involved in said circumstances.” “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Grayscale rolled her shoulders and settled into a combat stance. “Those guys are a little too nicey-nice. We’re not like that.” “That’s putting it mildly. You’re in for a world of hurt, pal,” Havocwing threatened with a sinister grin. Starlight’s horn flared, blasting Discord in the face with a burst of powerful Void magic. Discord staggered back and stumbled over to the fountain. The upwards flow of marshmallow goo suddenly returned to its normal direction, covering Discord with the stuff as it fell back to earth. Discord stared at Starlight for a moment, then shook off the disorientation. “What in the name of Chaos was that?” “That is the sensation of pure, unadulterated power,” Starlight boasted. “You are quite astute to consider Twilight Sparkle a credible threat, but you’ll find my power equally menacing, and that I lack her misgivings towards direct applications of said power.” “Yeah, and that was just a sample of what she’s got in store for you!” Velvet cheered. Insipid clapped her hooves. “Like, let him have it, sis!” Starlight grinned and flared up her horn again. “With pleasure.” Discord snorted and snapped his fingers, and Starlight suddenly had an overly-large pair of extra-thick sunglasses over her eyes. Starlight gasped, no longer able to see clearly as she fired, and her blast missed Discord entirely, disappearing off into the horizon where it struck the soccer ball sun and deflated it with a loud hiss. The world went dark. “Whoops! Who turned out the lights?” Discord laughed. “And so sayeth me: let there be light!” Now it was nighttime, and the moon - which was overly large and had Discord’s grinning face plastered on it - rose high in the sky accompanied by the sound of a slide whistle. The stars flickered on and off in bizarre patterns and had rearranged themselves in the sky to spell “Discord Rulez!” “Cheap trick,” Grayscale said as she barreled forward, having moved behind Discord while it was dark. She kicked him hard in the side of the head, knocking him reeling; the entire sky shook at the impact, sending the moon sailing and causing the stars to rearrange themselves to spell “Ow!” Grayscale rose up again, attempting to crash down on him. Discord pointed at her, and Grayscale suddenly shrunk to the size of a grape. When she hit Discord, it was with all the force of, well, a grape being dropped from a height of about ten feet. He rose upright and lifted Grayscale up in his paw. “You think I’m cheap, little miss suckerpunch?” Discord paused, and chuckled. “Little. Heh. I didn’t even mean to do that one.” “You’ve got something on your face,” the little Grayscale squeaked. Discord pulled a hand mirror from thin air and held it up in his other paw, looking at his face. The spot where Grayscale had kicked him was starting to bruise already. “Oh my goodness, look at what you did you little ruffian.” He glared at her and tightened his grip. Starlight had regained enough composure to remove the sunglasses. “Remove your paws from my sister!” She lit up her horn and made to fire another blast. Discord flipped the mirror around. Starlight’s blast hit the mirror, bounced off, and blasted herself instead, turning her into a frog. “Star! Sis!” Velvet cried, picking up her now-frog sister. “Speak to me!” Frog Starlight let out a loud, annoyed croak. Velvet lifted Frog Starlight into the air over her head. “Noooo! She’s croaked!” “Star’s down! Oh my stars!” Insipid nervously pattered in place. “Oh no, Curie, what do we do whatdowedo?! We can’t beat him without Star!” Curaçao pat Insipid on the shoulder. “Worry not, Insipid. Ze battle is not yet over.” She pointed over towards Havocwing, who was seething with so much anger that thin plumes of smoke rose from her wings. “And we ‘ave anozer player, non?” “Why’s she all smoky, Curie? I thought our powers--” “Only work in ‘particularly poignant’ situations, as Starlight put it, oui.” Curaçao grinned. “Zis seems poignant enough.” Havocwing roared and charged Discord. “You’re gonna pay for that, Dicklord! I’m gonna kick your ass straight into next Sunday!” “Gasp! Language!” Discord looked simply scandalized. “Twilight certainly made rude friends on vacation. My oh my, first roughhousing then not-approved-by-the-censors dialogue? What’s the world coming to?” “Eat shit!” Havocwing swung a hoof at him, but struck nothing but Discord-shaped marshmallow, which of course toasted instantly, filling the air with the appropriate delightful scent. “Huh? Hey! Don’t you pull that shit on me, bucko! Get out here and take your beating! Your ass is mine! You hear me?!” “Oh no no no, I simply cannot allow this to continue.” Discord appeared again, right in front of her. “Look, little miss potty mouth, this is a kids’ show - for little girls despite what the periphery demographic thinks - and we can’t have you swearing like a sailor.” He snapped his fingers, and a bar of soap appeared in Havocwing’s mouth. “There, that’s better.” The little Grayscale chuckled. “Oh, you’re in for a bad time now,” she squeaked, fluttering away as quickly as she could. “Later.” Discord watched as Grayscale fled the scene. “What’s got you so nervous, pintsize?” He turned back to Havocwing and leaned down so they were face to face. “Now, have we learned a lesson? Hmm?” Havocwig started breathing heavily and biting into the soap, turning it into a frothy, foamy mess. “Um… are you o--” Havocwing spit out the soap, screamed like a madmare, and leapt on him with all the ferocity of a wild, rabid animal, punching and pounding her hooves into Discord’s face. Despite her weakened pyromantic magic, she still had all the fury of a raging inferno pouring through every strike. And, with every strike, Discord’s focus on his chaotic mayhem diminished. Over only a few seconds, Grayscale returned to normal size; Starlight returned to her normal form and collapsed on top of Velvet; Tick Tock, Twilight, and her friends reappeared, none the worse for wear, though they were very much confused and disoriented; the sky above slowly started returning to normal, as did Canterlot Square, giving everything the surreal look of being halfway between normal and chaos-affected. “Um… what the hay just happened?” Rainbow said, looking around. “Weren’t we just in a hedge maze? Is this more of dopey ol’ Discord’s tricks?” “You were in a hedge maze?” Tick Tock asked. “Bloody hell, I was stuck in some kind of song-and-dance number about a glass of water.” She glanced down at herself. “At least I’m back in my regular clothes again.” “What’s that screaming?” Fluttershy asked. She turned and saw Havocwing pummeling Discord into the still-cheesy-enough-to-melt ground. She gasped. “Oh m-m-my!” “Good heavens!” Rarity exclaimed. “What on earth happened while we were gone?” “Huh. Ya don’t see that everyday,” Applejack added, shaking her head. “You do if you ♪recooord iiit♪” Pinkie said in sing-song, casually adjusting a video camera she’d pulled from her mane. “Aw man, I wanted to wail on him,” Rainbow huffed, crossing her forelegs over her chest. She turned to Velvet. “No fair, you guys get all the fun.” “Let him have it, Havoc!” called Velvet from under Starlight. “Show that jerkwad who’s the boss around here!” Starlight got off Velvet with a huff and turned to Twilight, ignoring the display of violence. “Well then, I believe when Havoc has completed her thrashing, we can proceed as planned? Your Discord ‘problem’ seems to have been accordingly solved.” Twilight just stared at Havocwing wailing on Discord, like watching a rabid dog tear into a chew toy. “Um… sure, yeah… I think he’ll be subdued until we finish up. We can deal with Silvertongue, come back, and make sure things are dealt with for good… I hope.” “I don’t know how draconequus anatomy works,” Velvet noted to Grayscale, “but something tells me that he’s not supposed to bend that way.” “Serves him right,” Applejack snorted. “Y’know, I was honestly expecting Discord to put up more of a fight against you guys,” Pinkie mused. “Almost a little anticlimactic. Just a little.” “He polymorphed me into a frog,” Starlight noted, eye twitching. “Pinkie, don’t complain about us saving time,” Rainbow replied. “Complain about us not getting to teach that jerk a lesson ourselves.” “Oh I’m not, I just kind of expected like, scene transitions and everything to set things up. Make the battle seem multi-tiered.” “Oh please, this guy just screams ‘third-tier villain’,” Velvet said, rolling her eyes. “We were a bigger threat to you guys than he ever was.” “Fair. I mean, Silvertongue’s the real bad guy, after all.” Tick Tock cleared her throat, turning the attention from the big ball of violence to herself. “Speaking of which, it’s time we get going. Luckily, opening a portal to Equestria-III will be much easier than it was for Equestria-IV and it will be easier to then move on to Equestria-II, then Equestria-I, then Equestria Prime.” “How so?” asked Twilight. “Wouldn’t Prime be particularly hard to enter into?” “Seems a logical conclusion,” Starlight agreed. “Ironically, no. You see, the Void grows in thickness between Equestria-IV and V - and all other Equestrias down the line - compared to III and IV. The exact reasons for this are difficult to understand, but the best explanation I can give is that Equestrias I, II, and III have become ‘stable’ - the Void can no longer impact them.” “Well that’s not fair,” Rainbow complained. “All Equestrias will eventually achieve stability, Rainbow, that’s a matter of fact. It’s just a matter of time before your own is.” “What does this ‘stability’ entail?” Twilight asked. “Laypony’s terms, it means the Void cannot affect it anymore because it has reached the final stage of its development and no longer interacts with Void energies. Your world is still finishing it’s development, hence why the Void threatens it and it requires a Chronomancer. Same with mine, and all the others further down the line.” “And that makes it easier for us to get there?” “In a manner of speaking - because the Void is so thin between those worlds, moving between them is almost effortless, and in fact so quick that you probably won’t even register them as existing. We can reach Equestria-III with as much effort as the use of a teleportation spell, then follow the stream all the way through to Equestria Prime.” Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Then why can’t just anyone reach Equestria Prime and threaten it? Seems like a big oversight.” “Three reasons. One: nopony knows about Prime except Chronomancers. Two: the barrier between worlds still requires Void energy to open - without it, the magic needed exponentially increases to about what your Celestia or Luna could produce. Three: You still need proper coordinates, or else you just end up in empty Void instead of on Equestria-III. Which of course, means an eternity of cold, lonely suffering with no escape.” “Sounds fun,” Grayscale mused. “Huh… well… that makes sense, I suppose,” Twilight admitted. “I guess there’s no need to delay this any further then. Let’s get going. Starlight?” “Affirmative,” Starlight replied. She turned to Tick Tock. “If you would?” Tick Tock lit her horn and touched it to Starlight’s, delivering the coordinates. Starlight then lit her horn, and without much effort, tore open another portal. “Fascinating. Your claims ring true, Chronomancer.” “I know my Void interactions, okay?” Tick Tock gloated. “Silvertongue still has a good lead on us, but hopefully not enough to accomplish anything. Equestria Prime is a… complicated entity.” “Come on, Havoc!” Velvet yelled as the mares started hopping into the portal. “We’re leaving!” Havocwing punched Discord again in the jaw. “Some god you are. Punk.” She scuffed her hooves on his chest, then fluttered over to the others to join them. Discord remained motionless on the melted cheesy ground, which was slowly returning to normal. He stared up at the sky as it began to turn a regular afternoon blue, complete with fluffy white clouds instead of mashed potatoes. The sun very suddenly reappeared as normal in its proper position in the sky. He could only let out a pained groan.