It’s been five days since they arrived home from Manehattan and Shadow still can’t fall asleep.
She’s tried. Every day, when she arrives home from the dream world, she drinks her hot chocolate and moves Icarus over and climbs under the sheets. She closes her eyes, ready to drift off, when the image of those razor sharp teeth comes screaming back into her head.
She can’t. She can’t risk it. If the mare is good on her promise Shadow will have no chance in the dream world if it comes down to a fight. Whoever – whatever – the mare is, it’s something old. Something ancient.
So for the fifth morning in a row, Moon Shadow wearily throws back the covers and slides out of bed. Icarus merely stretches and curls up deeper into the duvet, paying no attention to his exhausted mistress. Her legs wobble as if they resent holding her up. She’s struggling, she knows this. She has to sleep, everypony has to sleep. But all she can do is cat nap in bursts. It’s not enough.
“What a useless guard cat you are,” Shadow says, jealousy looking at her peaceful familiar.
The house is silent: Tea Leaf has left for work. She and Pumpkin’s mother, Cranberry Joy, have been gleefully collaborating on a new selection of iced teas. Tea Leaf is probably experimenting in the castle kitchens right now.
Moon Shadow heads unsteadily to the kitchen for a drink of water. She’s at a loss for what to do. She’s not used to having this much free time. She sleeps soundly most of the day and then tries to cram in as much activity as she can before she has to head out to work again. All of her friends are at work – save North, who is also asleep – and it’s not like she can really disturb any of them.
To be honest there’s not much like she feels she can do. The world is ending: she could read or watch a play or go shopping but there’s the catch. The world is ending. She should be using that time to research or do something useful so that all of the ponies drinking lattes and shopping can still do all of those things.
Moon Shadow slumps her head down on the sideboard. She’s truly at a loss.
“OK, enough moping,” she says out loud, mentally shaking herself. Now is no time to get bogged down in doubt. “Time to go for a walk.”
Might as well enjoy the sun before a tyrant shrouds the world in darkness forever.
But funnily enough, Moon Shadow’s worries melt away in the sunshine. It’s another beautiful day in Canterlot and her spirit rises as she trots towards the main square. Not surprisingly, it’s bustling, full of tourists and every day business ponies. A mare rocks her newborn foal outside of a cafe while she chats to her friends. A young stallion throws a ball for his dog, who races after it yelping with excitement every time. A bleary eyed gentleman with a briefcase stands in a long line for coffee.
‘Coffee!’ Moon Shadow thinks with glee. Yes, a large latte with oat milk and nutmeg would be perfect right now. And some breakfast. She can’t think on an empty stomach after all.
But she doesn’t get as far as the Sugar Rose cafe or even to the kiosk on the corner. A mare puts herself firmly in Shadow’s path, dark eyes blazing with anger.
“Ocean Soul?” Moon Shadow asks, although there’s no mistaking this mare. Even in this bright sunshine, Ocean’s mouth is twisted down in a scowl. Her expression makes Shadow want to run and hide and she’s fought countless dream monsters. She can’t imagine what Ocean Soul is so furious about.
“Shadow,” she says, without even a greeting. “Why haven’t you used that book I gave you?”
Shadow’s mouth drops open, surprised that the scowl was meant for her. How does Ocean even know that Shadow had shoved that book to the very back of her bookshelf and left it there?
“I haven’t had time,” Shadow says, the lie sounding false even to her. Ocean’s frown only deepens, if that’s even possible. With her dark coat and wild black hair, she looks ready to start calling curses down from the sky.
“If you’re going to lie, can you at least do it with a bit of creativity?” Ocean says, ears flicking with badly hidden frustration. “Everypony knows that ‘I didn’t have time’ means ‘I didn’t want to make time.’ You had time, Shadow, you just thought it was worthless without even looking.”
“But I have looked!” Shadow protests. “I know what’s in that book! We all read it as foals and believe me, I know better than anypony what that book says. It’s all lies and myths!”
Ocean stares at her and Moon Shadow feels incredibly uncomfortable. She’s never known a pony with such a piercing gaze before: it almost feels like Ocean is reading her mind.
Ocean suddenly sighs heavily. “Not all myths are lies,” she says in an unusually gentle voice. “Myths have to come from somewhere. They usually come from fact, no matter how small. Even if after a few thousand years, the truth gets warped from retellings and embellishment.”
Shadow’s head is far too fuzzy from exhaustion to even try and decipher whatever cryptic thing that Ocean is trying to tell her. The sun is too bright in her eyes and warm on her back. Maybe she can lie down in the middle of the street and fall asleep in the glaring midday sun.
“So...you’re saying that I have to read the book?” Shadow says grumpily. Across the street Deep Knead slides a fresh tray of cheese rolls into the window display of the bakery. The smell is already reaching Shadow’s nostrils and her stomach gurgles loudly. Insomnia is turning out to be quite bad for Shadow’s weight - without sleep, she fills up her time by eating instead.
“You have to read the book,” Ocean says, just a little bit too sharply. “I told you, that it’s meant for you. It can help!”
“But I….” Shadow starts and then catches Ocean’s expression. The other mare won’t budge. Shadow can see the resolution in her eyes.
“I don’t understand,” she says instead, tears springing to her eyes. She’d only wanted to escape for a little while. Just to sit in the sun and drink her coffee and not worry about her problems. Not worry about the tiredness that weighs down every bone or the fear of the creatures in the dark. The pressure of trying to fight oncoming evil alone. She doesn’t even get a few minutes. “I need help with so many things but that’s the book you give me? It’s not going to help me! And I need help!” Ocean stands and stares at her silently throughout this little outburst. When she speaks again it’s surprisingly gentle, without any of her usual snark or force.
“I know.” she says quietly. She takes a step forward and presses a hoof over Shadow’s heart, who’s too startled to stop her. “I know. I can feel it. I felt it when you walked in my shop. It was ringing in my head, your soul was crying out for help so badly. But my talent has never been wrong before. I know you think it’s useless but trust me when I say that the book will help you. Maybe it won’t help with most of your problems but I think it might help you understand.”
“Understand?” Shadow says, sniffling. She’s not doing too good of a job of holding back her tears, as one spills over and runs down her cheek. Ocean removes her hoof and smiles wryly.
“Like I said, myths and legends have to come from somewhere, don’t they?” she asks as Shadow rubs at her cheek. “You might find an answer you didn’t even know that you were looking for.”
She turns, giving Shadow one more small smile, before she trots away. Shadow watches her go, the long inky tail vanishing out of sight around a corner. Back to the quiet of her shop, no doubt.
Shadow blinks the final tears from her eyes and walks forward, with less bounce in her step than before. She definitely needs that coffee now.
She shouldn’t have snapped. Ocean was only trying to look out for her. If her soul had been burdened when she visited Sacred Page, how bad must it be now? Back then she’d only been haunted by a mysterious voice and a terrifying ram in a dream that she shouldn’t have had. Now everything is so much worse. Maybe that’s why Ocean Soul had stopped her in the street to insist she read the book.
But what can she mean? Shadow wonders, as the Sugar Rose comes into sight. She’s no longer in the mood to loiter so she’ll just get her breakfast and go home. Answers she didn’t even know that she was looking for. She has too many answers she is looking for. How can she defeat Grogar, how can she save the world when her enemies keep appearing out of the shadows…
Shadow stops in the street, startling the mare behind her. She swerves around Shadow, grumbling all the while but Shadow barely sees her. She’s staring open mouthed, as the incredible, outrageous idea that just came into her head. What was it that Ocean had said? All myths come from fact somewhere. She’d presumed Ocean had been talking about her entry, that stupid story about the glitter and the lullabies and other general puke. But what if she hadn’t? What if the answer had been in front of her all along? What does it mean if the answer had been waiting on her bookshelves?
It means she’s not the only one in the mare tales book.
The library is quiet this time of morning. Everypony is at work, or at school so there are only a few librarians working quietly or older ponies in a circle on some comfy sofas, discussing the latest book from their book club. Moon Shadow tries to avoid any many ponies as she can, aware this time at least that she looks a fright. No sleep is making her look pale, her mane and tail are drooping no matter how much she washes them and her eyes are red-rimmed.
A small filly gives her a horrified look when Shadow sneaks into the foals’ section to grab a copy of Mother Bumpkin’s book. Shadow resists the urge to scowl at her and instead sneaks away quietly with the book to another, emptier part of the library.
Shadow drops the book onto a table and slides into a seat, shaking off the deja vu. It was less than a week the last time that she’d come to the library, desperately seeking knowledge from books. She’d had the mare tales book in front of her then, she remembers, but she’d dismissed it almost immediately. Maybe she shouldn’t have. Maybe things would make more sense now if she had taken the time to look through it, like Ocean had told her to from the start.
But even so, Shadow has to summon all her courage to open the book.
There’s no index, so Shadow is forced to look through every page, every single entry and story. There are hoof-drawn illustrations for each dark mare tale, all carefully drawn by Mother Bumpkin herself. The Easter Bushwoolie hides eggs as brightly coloured as the creature himself, in flowerpots and hedges for little foals to find. Nightmare Moon bares teeth as sharp as a manticore’s on her page and - ugh - the Sandmare smiles simperingly as several fillies all stare up adoringly at her. Shadow scrunches up her face in disgust. She’d smile smugly like that too if she had beautiful stardust-filled curls like that mare.
Shuddering, Shadow moves on. The next couple of pages are equally unuseful but the page after that makes Shadow stop cold.
The illustration is completely wrong of course. Mother Bumpkin could not know to draw the shine of deadly teeth, that wicked smile, all only just hidden in dark shadows. The picture on the page is more like a dark shadow with the faintest glint of yellow eyes visible amongst the gloom.
The Bogey Mare, Shadow reads and feels her stomach drop out beneath her.
The Bogey Mare. Everypony has heard of the Bogey Mare. It’s not a very common mare tale but parents will sometimes use it to control their wayward children. ‘If you don’t settle down and go to bed, the Bogey Mare will come to you in the night,’ they warn. ‘She’ll slide under your bed and wait for you to fall asleep, before filling your head with nightmares.’
This is the mare Shadow has seen. This is the mare that helped Grogar escape.
‘Of all of the horrifying legends, the Bogey Mare is perhaps the most terrifying,’ Moon Shadow reads. ‘No pony knows how she came to be, but scores of tales have been told of a mare that lurks in the shadows, determined to bring nightmares to all she encounters.’
‘No kidding,’ Shadow thinks wryly. She hasn’t been able to sleep since she saw the mare, unable to forget the malice and bloodlust that she exuded.
There isn’t much else to read in the surprisingly short entry. Shadow checks but there is only a single page devoted to the Bogey Mare.
Moon Shadow scowls. She can put a name to the mare now but that’s it. The book doesn’t say where she came from, her weakness or how to defeat her. Just the fact that she’s a bloodthirsty entity of evil...oh, wait, Shadow already knew that.
Shadow slams the book shut, with an air of vicious satisfaction, before she ponders about what to do.
Midnight Tale isn’t here to lend a hoof this time round but that doesn’t mean Shadow can’t do some research on her own. There must be more information here somewhere. There are quite a few mare tale books in a library of this size and there might also be a professor years back who did a study on mythological creatures and the likelihood of their existence in Equestria. Professor Sharp Mind, she thinks his name was.
Moon Shadow pulls herself to her feet...and promptly falls back into her chair.
Right. Okay. So caffeine and sugar probably isn’t the best thing to fuel her when she’s running on no sleep. She slumps onto the table for a moment, considering her options. Dashing all over Canterlot in quest of a professor who once worked at the university is probably a bad idea. She needs to conserve energy for whatever the dream world has in store for her tonight.
Of course, there is a way for her to get the answers she needs without using too much energy. It’s just not an option she relishes. Sighing, she pulls herself up again on steadier hooves this time and reshelves all of her books. Unfortunately the option she likes least is also the most efficient and practical. How annoying.
With a feeling of dread sitting in her chest she trots out of the library doors and makes her way to Canterlot castle.
The castle courtyard is bustling when she arrives. She gets waved through the gates as usual, although the stallion on duty gave her a worried look as she did so. There’s a surprising amount of ponies going to and fro, probably preparations for the summer sun celebration. Work for one of the biggest events in Canterlot starts months in advance, to account for all the ponies flooding into their capital to see the princess raise the sun. Celestia will be busy, she thinks worriedly, serving to avoid a unicorn carrying potted flowers. Maybe this was a bad idea.
She's so tired that she doesn't see the stallion walking towards her until it's too late. He clips her shoulder with his own and the force knocks her off balance. Shadow teeters dangerously on two hooves for a second before managing to regain her footing, letting out a small sigh of relief as she does so. She's avoided yet another fall but her shoulder still stings.
"Are you alright?" the stallions asks her. When she raises her head to look at him, his expression changes. "Oh hey, it's you!"
"Me?" Shadow turns to look behind her but there's no pony there. He's definitely talking to her.
The stallion stands about a head taller than Moon Shadow, with well built muscles to compliment a snowy rock cutie mark. His long chocolate mane billows behind him, scraggy and unkempt. Despite the midsummer heat, he’s wrapped in a thick grey winter scarf. And his eyes… they’re too wide. Jumpy. Unnerving. Shadow wonders briefly if the guard knows such a wild creature is on the castle grounds.
"I'm sorry," says Moon Shadow, because she's trying to be polite. It's extremely hard as she's exhausted and her life is falling apart and a very strange stallion is talking to her like he knows her. "But who are you exactly?"
"Of course!" he says, looking surprised. "I should have said. I'm Silver Boulder. Helping with some construction work around the castle. Not my usual job of course, but wendigo hunting doesn’t pay the bills you know..."
This conversation is getting weirder by the second. Moon Shadow struggles to recall her Ancient Creatures of Equestria class from school. Aren't wendigos those scary things that create ice and snow due to disharmony? Are there even any in Equestria anymore? And who does this guy think he is, going around fighting extinct monsters?
"Great," Shadow says wearily, deciding to drop the whole 'wendigo' thing. "That doesn't really explain much. Who are you to me, I mean. You seem to know me."
"That's true!" Silver Boulder says cheerfully. "I do. But you don't know me. That's ok. That's how it's supposed to work." Without meaning to, Shadow's tail starts to flick furiously with irritation.
"What's supposed to work?" she asks, through gritted teeth.
"Oh you know, you, me, the whole deal," Boulder says, looking over his shoulder. A workpony in a yellow hat stands on the other side of the courtyard, directing several other stallions and very similar carts full of rubble, like the one Boulder is pulling. Yellow Hat looks like he's in charge. Come to think of it, Shadow wasn't aware of any construction happening in the castle. She's been a bit tired lately but surely she would have noticed. Where is all that rubble coming from?
"No, I don't know." Flick, flick, flick. She's not getting anywhere. Maybe he's crazy. Maybe he's mistaken her for somepony else. Although, nopony ever has before...
"Well, you probably don't.." he still doesn't seem to be taking her seriously. He was watching out for Yellow Hat - as he's probably supposed to be working and not chatting to her - and now he seems to be watching a bird on a turret.
"I'm sorry, are you here to do construction on the castle?" He snickers, finally turning to face her properly.
"No...well, you'll find out what we're doing soon enough," he says. "But I meant I only know you in regards to your destiny. The big D. Final battle, action girl, end of days and all that jazz."
Ice cold water appears to be trickling down Shadow's spine or at least, that's how it feels. He can't be saying what she thinks he is. To others it would be vague enough that it doesn't mean anything. Every pony has a destiny of sorts, a raison d'etre as they say in Prance. Finding their cutie mark, fulfilling their destiny - it's drummed into you the minute you're old enough to walk. But somehow Shadow doesn't think this is what he means. And he's saying it to a pony who has been told her whole life she does have a destiny. Quite a significant one, in fact. He could probably go and say the same thing to Twilight Sparkle and she'd have no idea what he's saying. But Twilight isn't meant to know she has a destiny. Or Destiny. Whichever.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Shadow says coldly and tries to move past him. Unfortunately with the cart he just blocks her.
"You do," he insists. He looks over his shoulder to check nopony is around and then lowers his voice. "But it's ok. I won't tell anypony. Promise." He backs away with the cart and winks.
"Don't worry!" he calls over his shoulder, as he trots away. A mare has to leap out of the way as he barrels towards the gate."You'll do great, Moony!"
Shadow can only stare as he and the cart vanish out of sight. She's not sure if she's too tired or enraged or confused to respond, the entire encounter a haze in her mind.
Finally something makes its way through the fog.
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME MOONY?!"
Celestia isn’t there.
“How can she not be here?” Shadow demands. Ivory Thorn merely blinks slowly and returns to her pile of papers.
“It means she’s not here?” she says bluntly. “Do you need me to rephrase it?” Shadow grinds her teeth.
“I mean…” she says slowly, as Ivory makes a note on a page with her quill. “She’s always here. She’s usually in meetings or planning committees or other boring tasks. Was there a foal she had to kiss or hospital wing she needed to open or something?” Ivory’s mouth twitches slightly.
“Very sorry but there was no foal kissing on the princess’ agenda today,” she says. “And I should know, as I write her agenda.”
“Well, do you know where she is then if you’re clearly the master of the agenda?” Shadow says, tail flicking once more. She doesn’t often encounter Celestia’s personal assistant which is probably good. She’s as annoying as Orchid Belle.
“I do!” Ivory sings out and then no more. Shadow flicks her ears back, trying to restrain the urge to rip all of the paperwork out of Ivory’s hooves.
“Great,” she says, with a forced smile. “And where might that be?” Ivory smirks and bundles up all of her papers, tapping them against the table to keep them neat, before she holds them aloft in her magic.
“Classified, I’m afraid,” she says with a smirk. “Even to you, Lady Moon Shadow. Now I advise that you go home. Perhaps you should return this evening if you need to speak with the princess.” And without waiting for a response, she stalks off and vanishes out the door.
Shadow stands there for a moment, slightly stunned and more irritated than before. Today is not working out for her.
Not a lot else to do but to call it quits. Yawning, she heads for the exit that Ivory just took. She could do with a rest at home and a good meal before she goes out again.
The sun is still blazing in the sky as she leaves the palace. She doesn’t spot any construction ponies this time around, although she keeps her eyes peeled. She has no desire to walk into one, especially somepony that confusing.
“Destiny,” Shadow mumbles, as she hits the main street that will take her home. “It’s done me a whole lot of good having a destiny, alright.”
Climbing the stairs to her apartment is hard and she groans with relief when she arrives at her floor. She hopes that Tea Leaf is home and can make her a delicious smoothie to perk her up a bit. She opens the door and kicks it shut behind her.
“Mom?” she calls, sliding off her saddlebags and dropping them on the floor. She quickly thinks better of it and hangs them on the hook. Tea Leaf hates Shadow dumping her stuff in the front hall.
“I'm here,” Tea Leaf responds from the kitchen. Shadow frowns. Her mother sounds odd. Maybe she had a bad day too.
But the cause for Tea Leaf’s stilted tones becomes apparent when Shadow crosses the threshold to the kitchen and sees how is sitting in her seat at the table.
“Princess Celestia?”
“Hello, Shadow,” Celestia says. There’s a still steaming cup in front of her so she can’t have been here long. The princess looks far too large to be in their small kitchen, her legs pulled in awkwardly on Shadow’s usual chair. Tea Leaf is standing by the counter, stirring a pot of something sweet. Her posture suggests she’s anything but pleased.
“What are you doing here?” Shadow asks suspiciously. She hasn’t seen Celestia since their fight before she left for Manehattan. Why has Celestia come here now? “I went to the castle but you weren’t there.” Celestia coughs, looking embarrassed.
“I was,” she explains. “But I’m afraid that my lunch was...interrupted.” She casts a very obvious glance at Tea Leaf and Shadow gawps at her mother.
“Mom!” she says, scandalised. “You brought her here?” Tea Leaf sniffs and turns off the stove.
“I did,” she says. “Do you think I’m stupid, pumpkin?”
“I...no?” Shadow says, thrown. She steps around Celestia to drop into the spare chair. Her hooves suddenly feel like they won’t support her anymore. Today has been too much.
“Hmm,” Tea Leaf snorts. “Not sure about that.” She pours the saucepan’s contents into a mug and passes it to Shadow. “Drink that. It’ll do you some good.” Shadow drinks immediately and then gags.
“Ugh, mom!” she complains. “What is that?” Has her mother lost her talent entirely? But Tea Leaf only smirks.
“It’ll keep you awake, that’s for sure,” she comments. “Better than coffee anyway.”
“Why haven’t you been sleeping, Shadow?” Celestia asks in her gentle, motherly voice.
Shadow stares down at her mug of foul tasting liquid.
“So this is an intervention,” she quips. Tea Leaf sighs and comes to embrace her daughter.
“Sweetie, I know,” she says, stroking Shadow’s mane. “You haven’t slept properly since Manehattan. I know going there was hard for you but I didn’t know it was this hard.” Shadow shakes her head.
“It wasn’t that,” she mutters. “It has nothing to do with my parents or Prim Petal or my home...yes, I know about all of them by the way,” she says to a stunned Celestia.
“You certainly did you homework,” Celestia admits. “Is Prim still alive?”
“And kicking,” Shadow says, daring another sip of her brew. Ugh. Still bitter. “She told me everything. About Black Dagger and the night he brought me. About you asking her to destroy my file.” Behind her she senses Tea Leaf stiffen.
“So it was you,” Tea Leaf says, in a low voice. “I always suspected.”
“I had to,” Celestia says mournfully. “I couldn’t have anypony trying to find her. It was mostly kept out of the press but still ponies knew what happened to your parents that night, Shadow. Ponies who were there told their loved ones and a reporter snuck past the barrier...it was impossible to keep it completely quiet. I knew there would be a risk of somepony trying to track you down for a lurid story before you were even old enough for school. So I had it destroyed and you moved out of Manehattan as quickly as possible.”
Shadow nods. She can’t deny the logic. Murder is such a rare crime in Equestria that anypony would have chomped at the bit for such a gruesome story. But even so, it’s her life. And Celestia made that decision without her. Nopony should make decision about somepony else’s life.
“Let’s take a walk,” Celestia says, unfolding her long legs from the chair. “I have something to show you.” Shadow hesitates but finds herself being nudged out of her seat too by her mother.
“Go,” she whispers in Shadow’s ear. “I think you two need to talk.” Shadow nods and jumps down. She gives her mother a quick squeeze before following Celestia out the door.
The walk down the stairs is silent and uncomfortable. Shadow’s still a little unsure of the mare beside her but she has to give this a shot. She can’t do this alone and Celestia knows a lot more about the enemies they’re about to face.
They reach the main street and Shadow falls in step beside Celestia, struggling to keep up with those long steps when she’s so tired.
“I am sorry, truly,” says Celestia, in that perfect, regal voice of hers. “I know I’ve kept a lot from you…” Moon Shadow manages to glare at her through bloodshot eyes.
“At least you admit it,” she snaps. “But what are you going to do about it?” Celestia looks pained and closes her eyes briefly.
“I probably deserve that,” she says humorlessly. They’re heading towards the castle, but they don’t seem to be going in the direction of the main entrance. Instead Celestia leads them down a small side road. It’s a dead end with a wall that Shadow recognises as the wall that surrounds the castle. However, there’s a small locked gate that becomes apparent as they get closer. It unlocks with a glow of Celestia’s horn and it swings open to admit them.
“You deserve a lot more,” says Shadow snippily. “But I’m too tired.” Celestia doesn’t say another word, instead leading Shadow down a small path, flanked by flowering trees. Admittedly Shadow doesn’t spend a great deal of time in the royal gardens, but she’s never seen this particular route before.
“Where are we going?” she asks, as they turn a corner and approach two large hedges. There’s a small archway in between them, clearly meant as entry for visiting ponies. Shadow almost opens her mouth again when they pass through the gap and she can now see where Celestia has brought her.
“Oh,” says Shadow, chastened. Celestia only looks sorrowful as she leads Moon Shadow through rows of gleaming white graves, a route she has clearly taken many times before.
“This is the Canterlot Memorial Garden,” Celestia says. A few rows over, a pink Earth pony quietly tends to the gravestones, trimming grass and watering pots of flowers. She looks up to see Celestia pass by and gracefully curtseys to her before returning to her work. “And it is often where heroes of Equestria are buried.”
“I didn’t know this was here,” says Shadow, bewildered. Celestia shakes her head.
“Few ponies do. We try to keep it that way, to let them rest in peace. Only families of the deceased know this exists and they come to visit their loved ones when they can. But we try and keep the general public away. I hate to say this but a few of my subjects would visit here for less than proper and decent reasons.” They’re walking away from the main section of graves, over to a smaller plot at the back of the memorial garden. It’s sectioned off by a small white fence, which are covered by rose bushes. Celestia pushes open the gate and gestures Shadow through.
“Once, a long time before you were even born, I let a little filly yell at me for ten minutes straight. I could have argued with her, tried to explain that sometimes ponies die, that I tried my best and there was nothing I could do…but the truth is, I let her because I knew I deserved it. I had let her sister die, despite my best efforts, and nothing could bring her back again. I’d made a promise to look after her and I failed. I made a similar promise to look after you,” says Celestia, turning to look Moon Shadow in the eye. But Shadow hurriedly looks away.
“You couldn’t have made that promise to anypony,” she mutters. “My parents were dead by the time you found me.”
“That’s true,” says Celestia regretfully. “I try to find the new Sandmare as quickly as she is born but that’s not always easy to do. But regardless I made that promise to myself and to Tea Leaf.”
“She tore you a new one, huh?” Shadow comments and for the first time since they’d left the palace, the corners of Celestia’s mouth twitch upwards.
“Indeed, she did,” Celestia agrees, stopping in front of a grave surrounded by lavender.
Shadow stares down at Kimono’s name etched in stone and tries not to think of the clever, kind mare she knows as a corpse underneath her feet.
“This is your predecessor, Kimono,” says Celestia and Shadow looks up at her in shock. All the times Kimono has visited her, she never once mentioned that she had been the Sandmare before Moon Shadow.
“She was born to a Neighponese family nearly fifty years ago now,” Celestia says, unaware of her ward’s conflict. “I was lucky enough to find her quite young. She was guarded carefully and when she was old enough to learn magic, she was brought here. It was quite hard on her. Her family was very close and I know she was homesick, no matter how she tried to hide it from me.”
Moon Shadow can’t take her eyes off the neatly polished headstone. It bears Kimono’s name, dates, a symbol of her cutie mark and the words inscribed into the stone ‘Beloved daughter of Equestria.’
“A lantern?” Shadow says, pointing at the beautifully carved lantern underneath Kimono’s name. She’d wondered about the lantern since she’d seen it in the Sandmare’s journal, as it was quite different from the cutie marks most Sandmares bore.
“Yes, though I always thought it should have been bells, not lanterns,” Celestia says warmly. Shadow looks up at her mentor; Celestia had really loved Kimono. Was this what it had been like for her? Had she loved them all and had to watch them fade away?
“She was fascinated by them. In Neighponese culture, bells are known to ward off evil. She used a method created by another Sandmare to infuse magic into the bells, to give them extra power when they rang. The day she succeeded was the day that her cutie mark appeared. She always wore at least two in her mane. I used to say that I could hear her wherever she was in the castle!” Celestia laughs but her eyes are glassy. Moon Shadow turns her head away.
“How did she die?” she asks, eyes focused on the small border of flowers around Kimono’s grave.
“She was murdered,” Celestia says, voice trembling. “I was too late. By the time I realised it had all been a trick she was gone. We found her body outside of Canterlot a few hours later, after Grogar was defeated.”
“But he came back,” says Shadow. “He came to find me.” Celestia inclines her head slightly.
“Yes. I suppose he thought that if he killed you while you were still a foal, the Sandmare born after you would be too young and nowhere near prepared enough to fight when the time came. But somehow he failed, although it cost you your parents.”
“Grogar,” says Moon Shadow. “What is he?” Celestia lifts her head to the sky, her mane rippling like a wave as she does so. Shadow realises that here the sounds of Canterlot are barely audible. Carts in the street, ponies shouting their wares at market, foals playing at the Academy…none of it exists here. It’s the perfect place for ponies to rest after giving their lives for Equestria.
“He was a ram,” Celestia says, hesitantly. “I don’t know what led him down a path of destruction and murder, but he soon made a name for himself as a feared necromancer. He eventually planned to take over Equestria with an undead army, which thankfully was foiled.”
“By a Sandmare,” Shadow says and Celestia looks at her sharply.
“Yes,” she says. “Yes, by Glory.” Shadow recalls the name from the journal. Glory had been one of the few Sandmares to succeed at having a normal life. She’d married and had three beautiful foals. However she’d died soon after, leaving her third newborn filly motherless. Glory’s entries were always lively, her vivacious personality leaping off the page. But her very last entry had been rambling, confused. The madness always got to them, in the end.
Slowly losing her mind and dying young. It’s not something Moon Shadow is looking forward to.
“She was very clever, before she died,” Celestia says, as if she’d read Shadow’s mind. “Very bright. Her special talent was leadership. She noticed the signs long before I did and came to me with a plan. Without her, Equestria might have suffered needlessly.”
“So he was locked away for nearly five hundred years before he escaped to kill Kimono,” Shadow says. “How did he get out?”
“He had help,” Celestia says bitterly. Shadow knows at once who had helped him. The very creature currently haunting her every waking hour, the very one she came to ask Celestia about. A monster of nightmares, dating back as far as ponylore goes. Maybe even further.
“I’m aware,” Shadow says solemnly. She catches Celestia eye and shrugs ruefully. “I’m not sleeping for a reason. I had a visitor in my dream on the train back from Manehattan.” Celestia’s expression grows horrified.
“You...you saw her?” she says faintly, looking more scared than Shadow has ever seen her.
“The bogey mare?” Shadow asks, just to confirm and watches as Celestia’s eyes grow even more terrified. That right there worries her more than anything. Celestia had only spoken of utter rage at the mention of Grogar. She’d clearly thought nothing of going to fight a demon ram in defense of Canterlot and Kimono. She’d beaten him too, able to cast him back to Tambelon for a time. But this mare has her scared.
“I thought she was gone…” Celestia says in a quiet voice. “I thought…” Shadow looks worriedly at her mentor, fearing that Celestia will collapse right here.
“Gone?” Shadow asks, curious despite herself. “Why would she be gone?” Celestia pulls herself up once more and stares skyward towards the castle spires. But her eyes seem distant, seeing something that Shadow can not.
“The bogey mare thrives on darkness and fear,” she explains. “She’s existed as long as...well, we’re not sure. Even in the earliest records they talk about a mare of shadows. Much like the wendigos, in the early days she thrived. But then Equestria was founded and harmony filled the land. It drained her of her power significantly. She hasn’t been spotted for quite some time. I thought that she was too weak to cause trouble.”
“Or…” Shadow says, speaking aloud for both of them. “She was biding her time and waiting to strike.” They both look at Kimono’s grave in stunned silence, thinking of all the implications that might mean.
“You definitely saw her in your dream?” Celestia asks in hushed tones. Shadow doesn’t blame her for asking again, for wanting to be sure. The last thing they need is that sort of malevolence and blood lust let loose on Equestria. But Shadow nods firmly.
“I’m sure,” she insists. “All I saw was a mare shrouded in darkness but I know. The only bit of her I could see was these razor sharp teeth.” A dark look comes over Celestia’s face.
“I fear that you may be right and she has indeed returned,” she says gravely. She turns to look at Shadow. “I’m sorry, Shadow, but this news must be dealt with immediately. I must return to the castle. Please go home and try to rest until you leave for the dreamworld.”
“Okay,” Shadow says, thrown. She has no idea what actions Celestia could be taking to deal with a force of evil that possibly outdates ponykind. But it’s comforting that Celestia has some sort of plan. It’s more than Shadow has anyway. “Do you need me to do anything?”
“Just go about your day as normal,” Celestia says. “And try not to worry. Yes, I know that may be hard,” she says when she sees Shadow’s skeptical face. “I will send for you. But please, Shadow, do whatever you must to protect yourself. The dreamworld may be even more dangerous than we feared.”
“Understatement,” Shadow mutters and then is surprised as Celestia pulls her into a hug. She freezes for a moment, unsure how to react. This mare has still lied to her, deceived her...but in the end she embraces Celestia in return. It’s more important that they work together.
“Take care,” Celestia says before taking a few steps and bounding into the sky. Shadow watches those incredible white wings catch the wind with awe as Celestia soars towards the spires.
“Well, I’ll just…walk home then,” Shadow says to no one in particular.
Celestia had sent the message almost half an hour before and waiting for a response was giving her anxiety.
She would have gotten it instantaneously. Surely it can’t take her this long to write out a response? A yes or no, anything would ease the feeling of anticipation. But she can’t say no. For Shadow’s sake, for Equestria, it’s crucial that she agrees.
Oh but Celestia doesn’t blame her for not wanting to return. The last time she was in Canterlot was over twenty years ago, watching her sister be buried.
Celestia turns, intending to pace once more across her chambers when she feels the crackle of magic in the air. A scroll unceremoniously drops onto her head out of a flash of light. Celestia snatches it off the floor and tugs off the ribbon, eyes scanning the page before she’s even properly unrolled it.
Dear Princess,
I’ll admit that I was surprised to receive a letter from yourself after so long. I was also not best pleased as we did not part on good terms, all those years ago. However, you are right and Equestria appears to be in great danger. I will come to Canterlot at once.
But you must know, this is not for you but for my sister and her successor. I will not let another Sandmare go into battle unprepared.
Sincerely,
Wisteria.
Well. That was the best she could have hoped for, Celestia thinks, lowering the scroll. She’d half expected screaming, cursing, outright refusal...but Wisteria has agreed to come. Maybe they can prepare Shadow in time. Preparations for Twilight aren’t quite so hard. But Twilight’s destiny was planned years ago, perfectly scouting the location and the right ponies to bring down Twilight’s walls. She never quite suspected that anypony else would interfere with Luna’s return. But she should have. It was unlikely that Grogar and the Bogey mare would stay quiet forever. She rolls up the scroll and places it in a drawer before pulling her paper and ink to her once more. She has another letter that she needs to write.