//------------------------------//
// Chapter 19 - Educational Espionage 
// Story: Further Tales From Day Court 
// by Blade Star 
//------------------------------//

“Roger,” Celestia said, with the tone of a mother who has long since gotten used to her son’s behaviour. “Is this really necessary? I thought you were trying to retain the moral high ground.” I smiled to myself.  

“And I fully intend to, Tia,” I replied as I stood next to her as she sat on her throne. “But no, I admit it isn’t really necessary. However Chancellor Neighsay only seems to respond to pettiness, and it is a good song.”

Sitting nearby on a small table was a record player with a 33 rpm single album sitting in it. It was actually one of mine, and one of the few records that started life as a record, instead of being converted by magic into the format when it too wound up in Equestria. I’d picked it because it seemed so deeply fitting for the occasion.  

Let me explain. Neighsay had made his feelings about Twilight’s school quite plain, but he had been utterly powerless to close it down when she outfoxed him by opening it as an independent school. So his new plan it seemed, was to back a competitor, which was a newly opened university in Las Pegasus called, strangely enough, Friendship University, with Starswirl the Bearded no less as its top professor. Twilight’s school was, at the end of the day, quite a small affair, and the larger campus of Friendship U as it became known, allowed for far more students to enrol in the courses on offer.  

Now, I, and Twilight, are all for healthy competition and we were all initially pleased to see another institution open its doors and offer courses on the study of friendship. However, when Twilight went to visit the place, she found a few things amiss. First of all, the place was very much pony only, to the point that it was stated in their charter. Friendship U did not accept any non-pony student from outside Equestria. That got my attention because of the small matter of it being really, really illegal; breaching no less than half a dozen different anti-racism laws, and leaving the place ripe for getting sued back to the Stone Age. Secondly though, there was the issue of fees. It followed the decidedly American model, as do most schools in Equestria. You see, back home, you took out a loan when you went to uni, and only started paying it back once you earned more than £21,000 a year. And after twenty years, the debt was written off anyway. In contrast, while most education in Equestria is free, higher education is very much a case of pay as you go. And Friendship U was making its students pay for every little thing, from the courses, right down to individual worksheets. Needless to say, that kept more than a few students from applying, or getting part way through and having to drop out.  

While that wasn’t as illegal as barring non-ponies from attending, it was still decidedly not kosher. And when the students found out just how they were getting fleeced, they were rather keen to have a word with the proprietors. And while they’d managed to avoid being tarred and feathered on the spot, they now found themselves staring down the barrel of a class action lawsuit to go with one already being brought by several rejected Griffon students.  

And just who were they you ask? I’d have expected Neighsay, or one of his lackeys from the EEA. But instead, it was some old friends who I had previous given a pass to. Remember Gladmane? After he got the boot from Las Pegasus, Flim and Flam took over his resort, and had for the most part done quite well for themselves, operating within the law while still getting to con idiots in the casinos. But it seemed that they’d gotten a touch ambitious, and had planned to use the funds from this joke of a school to finance renovation and expansions to their resort.  

So it was that all three of them now found themselves being led by Buttercup into Day Court, with me and Celestia waiting for them. And I was rather planning on rubbing the whole thing in Neighsay’s face a bit. After all, he had immediately rubber stamped the place with the EEA seal of approval as soon as it opened its doors, making it the second time I’d caught him breaking the law. So, as the doors opened and the three of them were led in, I got them to literally face the music. Picking up the needle, I set the record going, doing my best to keep a straight face while Neighsay glared daggers at me.  





What can I say, The Clash does good music. And all three knuckleheads were about to fight the law, i.e. me, and lose badly. Whilst me and the guards all struggled to contain our mirth, Celestia succeeded in keeping a straight face. Although I know for a fact that she too had been looking to take Neighsay down a peg and wasn’t exactly a fan of Flim and Flam. All three of them stopped at the foot of the throne and after making them suffer for a few moments longer, I shut the record off.  

“Was that entirely necessary, Princess?” Neighsay asked coldly. I smiled. Celestia was unmoved.

“I take it you know why you and your compatriots are here, Chancellor Neighsay,” she said in a neutral tone. Neighsay opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off by Flim.

Or was it Flam? Seriously, I have no idea which one is which. Those two are like Ant and Dec, but worse.  

“It was all his idea, your majesty!” Flim, or possibly Flam, shouted desperately, pointing an accusing hoof at Neighsay.” The head of the EEA rounded on the shyster.  

“Don’t pretend you had nothing to do with this, you cretin!” he snapped back. “Besides, you’re the ones charged with embezzlement.”

“Could be worse,” I commented, catching his attention. “You could be getting done for discrimination on the basis of species.” I snapped my fingers. “Oh, wait, that’s right, you are.” That just waved a red rag in his face. Luckily, Celestia was there to play the elder statesman.

“Alright, that’s enough,” she commanded. We all shut up. She smiled. “That’s better.”

Taking a moment to resettle her wings, Celestia continued, first turning to Flim and Flam.  

“Now, Flim and Flam. Allow me to start of by saying that you are hereby banned from ever opening a university, college, school, or other place that provides an education of any kind. Furthermore, given that your business practices were grossly illegal and in clear violation of regulations governing tuition fees, I hereby command you to repay all improperly collected fees back to the student body.” Flam, not seeing the bone he was being thrown, tried to interject.

“But, your highness,” he pleaded. “Without those bits, Flim and I don’t have a hope of getting the new resort facilities open in time for the tourist season.” Celestia’s face now became stern.  

“Perhaps I did not make myself clear,” she mused to herself before turning back to the pair. “Let me put it another way. Either you shut down your joke of a university and refund your students, or I shut down you resort and seize all your assets, just as I did with Gladmane, and then send you to prison.”

Mention of their predecessor was more than enough encouragement. I couldn’t help but smile. It’s too rare of a thing to see Celestia wield the absolute power she commands. The two nitwits quickly agreed. There was one other thing I wanted to ask them about though. But that would come later, after Neighsay got what was coming to him.  

“And Chancellor Neighsay,” she went on, now turning her disapproving eyes in his direction. “This is the second time I have heard of you discriminating against non-ponies, and it will also be the last. While as the head of the EEA, you may chose which school you endorse, your promotion of Friendship University’s pony only policy breaches basic equality and anti-discrimination laws.” She paused, shaking her head in disbelief.  

“Tell me, what did you think would happen when I found out about this?”

Now, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Neighsay might be fearing for his life at this point. But no, he was still as petulant as ever, and still spouting off his racist nonsense.

“I had hoped that you would be pleased, princess,” he replied, stunning the two of us. “I was merely following in the hoofsteps of Princess Twilight Sparkle and helping to spread the magic of friendship through education. I even ensured that Flim and Flam had the best lecturer in the entire realm at their disposal.”

“Starswirl’s presence is besides the point,” Celestia countered. “This time, Chancellor, you have broken the law. I can only be thankful that this time you didn’t also draw the ire of several dignitaries and heads of state. What the EEA chooses to allow, or not allow, at its school is its own business. But when those choices bring it into conflict with Equestrian law, it becomes mine. As such, I am hereby ordering a review into your organisation’s royal charter.”

Now let me explain what Celestia had just done. The EEA has a charter, essentially a permit from Celestia and Luna to exist. If that charter was withdrawn, the EEA would cease to be, period. Effectively, Celestia was telling Neighsay to either quit his nonsense, or else be the very last chancellor of the EEA.  

Needless to say, that got him to back down, and in contrast to our previous meeting, I doubted that he would be trying anything again any time soon. Even if the decision was made to retain the EEA’s charter, the mere note of its withdrawal being considered would be a very black mark on the EEA’s reputation, a reputation that wasn’t doing too well to begin with.  

With that final warning to Neighsay, Celestia concluded the court session and all three ponies were free to go. However, there was one small matter that was nagging me that I wanted to speak to Flim and Flam about.

You see, Flim and Flam might be marketing geniuses, but they know jack about teaching. More to the point, you can’t just go and buy coursework for friendship studies from your local college book store. Twilight’s school is the only institution running the course, which is of Twilight’s own design. But when she came across Friendship U, and uncovered all the dodgy dealings, there was one thing that puzzled her. Namely, how had Flim and Flam got their hooves on her course material. The only copies were kept in her office and hadn’t been published anywhere. Celestia might have concluded one investigation and duly punished those two morons, but I had good reason to believe there was another avenue to be explored.  

Now, in academia, plagiarism is a very serious matter. I know more than a couple students in my own university career who got the boot for doing it, or even just attempting it. However, it was not a criminal offence. In Equestria though, a university was effectively, as far as the law was concerned anyway, a business. That meant that Twilight’s course work was the intellectual property of her school. And since she didn’t give Flim and Flam permission to use it, you could make a reasonable case for copyright infringement, and even industrial espionage, since their goal was to draw ponies away from the School of Friendship in Ponyville. That made it very much a matter for the court. Before I brought it up with Tia though, I wanted to grill Equestria’s two best con artists. I suspected that they were just the middle men. It was far more likely that Neighsay, or somepony else had something to do with this. Why catch those two when I could go after the big fish?  

So I had Buttercup gently, but firmly, escort the pair to my office for a little natter. And Buttercup, being about the same size as Big Mac, is not a guy you say no to.





Back on Earth, when I was still just a solicitor taking petty criminal cases at the magistrates court, there was one guy who was something of a regular. Everyone called him Gordon the Gopher. He was a nice enough chap, didn’t do drugs, drink or get in fights. He even had a steady job as a self-employed recovery van driver. There was just one small problem; he had this annoying habit of ‘recovering’ vehicles he wasn’t supposed to, which often found their way onto the cross Channel ferry and on to Albania. Quite clever really; after all, who questions a recovery lorry towing away a car?  

Flim and Flam were a lot like him. They weren’t mean or particularly nasty, but you’d never manage to get them on the straight and narrow, no matter how much you tried. But they were hucksters, shysters, petty con men. They weren’t the type to engage in industrial, or shall we say, education espionage. So I was rather curious to know just how they’d got their hooves on Twilight’s papers and course notes.  

It was about half an hour after Neighsay was unceremoniously removed from the castle. I specifically had Buttercup hold the pair for a little while to spook them. Like I said, they aren’t hardened criminals, and it doesn’t take too much to intimidate them. I’d just finished my preliminary work on this new possible case when Buttercup brought them in.  

“Ah, Flim and Flam, excellent!” I said looking up from my work. “Please, gentlecolts, have a seat. Buttercup, would you run downstairs and ask a maid to bring us up a pot of tea?” Buttercup nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.  

The two stallions took a seat opposite me, both looking decidedly uncomfortable. I once again used my big scary human perk to my advantage.  

“Right, I’ll keep it all nice and simple for you,” I said, holding eye contact and forcing a smile. “How did you two get your sticky hooves on Twilight’s coursework?”

The pair looked at each other in surprise. Obviously, in contrast to everything else they said, they hadn’t quite planned for this and didn’t have a matching response planned out. I went on.

“I’ve already spoken with Starswirl, and he tells me that the paperwork and teaching materials were all there when you first hired him on staff.”

“We had no idea those belonged to the princess,” Flim (I think, whichever one doesn’t have the moustache) replied earnestly. “We just bought them. We figured we could recoup the cost from the student fees without digging too deeply into our projected profits.”

Well, this was interesting. I was thinking Neighsay might have been the one. He’d had access to the school after all. But apparently there was some sort of academic black market going on. Was this another case that was going to lead me back to Neighpon, or had Cosa Nostra come up with a new way to make money?

“Bought them from where?” I asked patiently, forming my fingers together in a steeple. Flam now spoke up.

“Well, bought isn’t really the right word,” he replied. “What my brother means is they were provided to us by a third party.” Of course they were.

“Just like that?” I asked, not even attempting to hide my disbelief. “A random pony gives you all the tools you need to open a school specialising in friendship studies. Come on, try a little harder.”

“It’s true,” Flim persisted. “We were planning on opening a for-profit school, but we didn’t plan for it to be about friendship. Then one day we get a package full of all this material, and a letter suggesting that we give this new friendship course a try, since it was popular and all.” I quietly jotted what they were saying in a notebook.

“I don’t suppose this pony had the courtesy to sign their name or leave a return address?” Both con ponies shook their heads. However, a moment later, Flam spoke up.

“Although having said that,” he said. “I do seem to recall that it had a Ponyville postmark.”

Now that got my attention. If it was mailed from Ponyville, that strongly hinted at an inside job. But if that was the case, where was the pay off? In these sorts of situations, the likes of Flim and Flam approached somepony, not the other way around, and paid, or blackmailed, them into giving them access to whatever documentation they needed. There was no point in just sending out the documents first. I’d need to dig a little deeper into this mystery.  

I kept up at the pair for a little while longer, doing my best to extract any more information from the,. But it seemed they told me all they knew. And even threats of introducing them to an army of their satisfied customers did little to loosen their tongues. It seemed then that these two had been used as a patsy, and somepony else in the School of Friendship was responsible.  

Time to go and tell Twilight that she’s got a security leak.  





The next morning saw me making my way to the School of Friendship. The place had been open for several months now and was now a well recognised landmark just outside Ponyville. It kind of reminded me of a college campus in a way in its design. In particular, the large open quad made a great place for students to study in their free time.

You had a mix of high school age kids and younger foals, not to mention the various non-pony students that had been such an issue for Neighsay and the EEA. It was also a boarding school of sorts, with dorms for students to live there full time, although plenty commuted in, just as I commuted back and forth to Canterlot.  

In short, it was the great experiment. And so far it was doing very well for itself, if not for this minor leak.  

Making my way along the stone path, I crossed over the small brook, taking a moment to admire the beautiful waterfalls against which the school was set. Like a lot of grand buildings in Equestria, the way in was by two large double doors, emblazoned with the schools emblem; a shield with the six elements on it.  

Heading up a flight of stairs, I soon found my way to Headmare Twilight’s office. She’s gained herself quite the collection of titles, Princess, Element of Magic, Headmare. Still doesn’t come close to all the titles Tia has, but so rarely uses though. Rapping on the door with a knuckle, I heard the lock turn, and a moment later, Spike appeared. The little dragon continues to serve as Twilight’s assistant.  

Of course, there was one major change, I now no longer needed to look down at him. The little drake had recently undergone his molt, sort of dragon puberty, and was now sporting an impressive pair of wings. These allowed him to overcome his still small stature by hovering at eye level with whoever he was talking to.  

“Hey, Roger,” he greeted brightly. “What brings you here?”

“Bit of a bad business I’m afraid, Spike,” I replied. “I’m here about Flim and Flam and that university con they tried to pull. I need to have a quick chat with Twilight. Is she about?” Spike shook his head.

“Sorry, she’s teaching a class right now,” he said in an apologetic tone. “You’re welcome to wait though. She shouldn’t be too long.”  

Eh, I had time.

“Sure, why not?”

Spike gently moved to the side and opened the office door for me. Twilight’s office was an impressive sight. For one thing it was bigger than mine, although unlike mine, it lacked marble floors. Still, she had some amazing panoramic windows and plenty of space to work in. It was clear too that she spent a lot of her time here. She’s really thrown herself heart and soul into this school. As Spike led me to a comfortable looking sofa that Twilight evidently used for entertaining company of the professional kind, I noticed we weren’t quite alone.  

On the opposite side of the room was a small pegasus filly. She had a very light pink coat, with a baby blue mane done up in curls. She reminded me of some stereotypical image of a little girl from fifty years back. Right now, she seemed to be going over some paperwork. An odd occupation for what seemed to be a filly of only eight or nine.  

“Who’s that?” I asked, gesturing towards her.

“Oh, that Cozy Glow,” Spike explained. “She’s one of Twilight’s students here. She’s been having a bit of a hard time learning friendship lessons, so the Crusaders helped her out. She’s real smart too. Twilight took her on as a sort of personal assistant for the school. I can only do so much, you know?”

I didn’t know what it was, but at that moment, the filly looked up from her work, and her reddish amber coloured eyes met my brown ones for the briefest moment. I can’t quite describe it. I just got this...odd feeling. Something made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. A moment later, as she turned her focus back to her work, it vanished. I put it down to me being a little put off by how overly cute she was. Even by pony standards, the little filly looked able to induce diabetes.  

However, it occurred to me that if this filly was helping out Twilight, and had access to this office, she might be able to help find the source of the leak.

Talk about not seeing the wood for the trees. But then again, who would suspect a little kid of being what she was? 

But we’ll get to that another time. Getting up from my seat, I crossed the office and went to speak with the little filly. I doubted that she’d have anything useful, but you never know. I remember a case years ago where a kid saw his parents both killed in a nasty robbery attempt gone wrong. In the kid’s statement, he said a dragon killed his parents. When they finally caught the bastard, it turned out he’d been wearing a hooded green raincoat; to the kid, terrified beyond belief, it looked like a dragon. So I never fully discount a child witness.  

Cozy looked up as the big six foot ape creature lumbered over to her. I did my best to appear non-threatening, getting down into a crouched, kneeling position.  

“Hi, Cozy Glow,” I said with a smile. “My name’s Mr. Owen. Spike here tells me you’ve been helping Headmare Twilight with some of the paperwork she has to deal with.”  

“Oh yes,” Cozy said, in a voice that was as sickeningly sweet as her face. “Headmare Twilight has given me a lot of responsibility as her personal assistant.”  

“Do you know where the documents for the course records are kept?” I asked innocently. The filly nodded and flapping her wings a couple of times, flittered over to a filing cabinet.  

“They should be right in here,” she said, pulling open one of the drawers and propping herself up on her hind legs. I peered in too. But to our surprise, the drawer was empty.  

“What?” Cozy said in surprise. “Where are they? They should be right here.”  

She sounded surprised, and it sounded pretty genuine. But there was something off about it. Again, at the time, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It certainly wasn’t enough to rouse any suspicion. Like I said, who’d suspect a little filly?

“I think I know, Cozy,” I answered. “We found them at Friendship University. Do you have any idea how somepony could have taken them?” The filly shook her head.

“No, Mr. Owen,” she replied sweetly. It was actually starting to get quite grating. “Headmare Twilight always keeps her office locked after school finishes, and she has the only key.”

“Well, obviously she doesn’t always lock her office, since we’re both standing here,” I replied.  

“Oh, she let’s me borrow it if I need to get in,” Cozy explained, gesturing to her saddlebags which sat resting against the far wall.  

Well, the most logical explanation, as far as eye could see was that the little filly had left the door unlocked by accident at some point, and pony or ponies unknown had entered the office. The theft would have most likely happened after hours. Twilight was in and out of her office in the day. Unless whoever it was had been watching beforehoof. Argh, this getting a bit beyond my remit. I might play shamus from time to time, but I was by no means a trained investigator. This was a job for the Royal Guard. In addition to being the security force for Canterlot, they also function as the city’s police force, somewhat like the RCMP in Canada, and cover most of the Canterhorn Valley. In contrast, other cities like Manehattan have their own police forces, separate from the military. And it was decidedly their bailiwick now. 

Thanking Cozy for her time, I was about to go over and chat with Spike when the doors to the office opened and Twilight walked in, a couple of scrolls and quills floating around her in her magic.  

“Ah, Twilight,” I said, standing back up to my full height again. “I was hoping I’d be able to have a chat with you. I’m here about those course documents Flim and Flam somehow got their hooves on.” Twilight paused in her work at that.  

“Oh, great,” she said, now giving me her full attention. “I’ve been going over any time I might have let somepony in here. But the only ponies with access are me, the other professors, and a couple of students.”

“And I certainly can’t see why any of them would just send the documents off the way they did,” I said with a nod. “It’s so odd. Flim and Flam got these papers just handed to them anonymously. No pay off or anything like that. I just had a word with Cozy Glow and Spike. Neither of them know anything either. It looks like I’ll have to refer this up to the Royal Guard. I’ll swing by and see Wrought Steel when I’m next in Canterlot and let him know too. He’s a damn fine investigator as well as a barrister. With any luck, they’ll be able to turn up something.”

“I sure hope so,” Twilight agreed as walked behind her desk, putting a few things away. “In the meantime, I’ve made sure to have all the other important documents in here kept under lock and key.” I prepared to take my leave.

“Alright. Well, I’m sure he or the guards will be along in a day or so. Can you think of anything else? Any idea of who might do something like this. It’s bad enough not having any suspects, but I can’t even figure out the motive for doing something like this. Whoever stole the papers got no reward to speak of. They just created some competition for your school.”

“I can think of one pony,” Spike interjected. “Chancellor Neighsay was helping Flim and Flam by endorsing their school, and he wants this place to fail. Plus, with that EEA amulet of his, he could have gotten in here even if the door was locked.”

Both Twilight and I paused to admire the young drake’s deductive reasoning skills.  

“I think the boy’s onto something!” I declared with a smile.  





The next morning saw me in the offices of the Crown Prosecution Service, the CPS, to pay call on my friend and comrade in arms, Wrought Steel. If there was anypony alive who could help build a case against Neighsay, then it was him. Spike may have made a reasonable supposition, but it was only a theory. Neighsay had the holy trinity of means, motive, and opportunity, but there was no empirical evidence to show that that was what had transpired. And as he isn’t an Islamic extremist and this isn’t the land of liberty, that meant we couldn’t just throw him in jail.  

So we had some investigating to do first. Wroght’s job made him an ideal partner for the case. The CPS often play an investigative role, alongside the Royal Guard, in a lot of criminal cases, in a sense acting like a detective as well as a barrister. It was an intriguing difference compared to the justice system of old Britannia.  

I started out by putting the facts of the case to him; what we knew. When you stepped back, we actually knew very little. We knew that Flim and Flam had come into possession of Twilight’s course documents, we did not know for certain how. We knew that the door to Twilight’s office was locked, and that only a select few ponies had the key. The door had not been forced open, and there were no other ways to gain entry. Finally, we knew roughly when the documents had been taken, based on when Friendship University opened its doors.  

Apart from those details though, there wasn’t much to go on. We suspected that it had to be a unicorn, and one skilled enough in the use of teleportation magic, as there was no other way a pony could get in. There was no signs of the locks being picked either, and windows didn’t even open. So our suspect was a unicorn who had something to gain by handing over those documents to Flim and Flam. It was circumstantial, but the evidence did rather point toward Neighsay. Still, Wrought wanted to tread carefully. Depending on how this went, it could blow up into a huge political scandal that could quite possibly bring down the whole EEA.

“First things first,” Wrought said, after having had a look at my preliminary notes. “I want to reinterview everypony else from the school; the professors and students who had access to the office, along with anypony else who might have been able to get in after hours.”

“Makes sense,” I replied with a nod. “If we’re gonna do this, it needs to be airtight. If you’re happy to do that, I’ll go before the princesses, see if we can get Neighsay brought in for questioning.”

“I’d also suggest sending those documents to the technical services ponies. Paper isn’t the best material, but there may be some forensic evidence that could help us out. If whoever did it did use teleportation, there might even be a magic residue left behind.”

And so, we set to work. Wrought went back and grilled Twilight and her friends, along with a bunch of students, including Cozy Glow who I’d met the day before. They all had an alibi for the time of the theft, apart from the little filly, who had been asleep in her room in the dorms at the time, but several ponies had seen her go to bed.  

I meanwhile went to see Tia, who was just finishing up with Day Court for the morning and was about to take her lunch with Luna. I filled her in on the progress of our investigation, Initially, I was planning on just asking if we could request that Neighsay come in for a chat. He wouldn’t be interviewed under caution, it would just be an informal talk; help with enquiries.  

However, as I was discussing the matter with her, Buttercup joined us with a message from the CSI boys. Wrought Steel had been right on the money when he suggested checking the document for forensics. They’d found magic residue that matched the pattern for a portal spell. Don’t ask me about the science of it; that’s Bones’ department. What mattered is that we now had evidence against Neighsay. There was no good reason for his signature spell to be on those papers.

Celestia was quick to issue the warrant.





Neighsay had looked pretty damn smug when he greeted Twilight at Friendship University, all proud of his bigger, xenophobic version of her school. He didn’t look smug however, when he was, rather publicly, arrested by the Royal Guard on suspicion of burglary. They caught him right as he was leaving his office at the EEA. Two guards, in full kits, politely informed him that he was under arrest and that he would need to accompany them back to Canterlot Castle.  

Needless to say, the gent didn’t take it all that well. He wasn’t stupid enough to try and run. Understandably, he was more concerned with saving what little remained of his reputation, even going so far as to use his long robes to hide the metal hoofcuffs locked around his forelegs. Still, the look on his face when he was brought into the interview room where Wrought Steel and I were waiting spoke volumes.  

“Good day, Chancellor,” I said with a smile and a nod. “Please, have a seat.” I gestured to the chair that sat opposite from us across the cold, metal desk.

The interview rooms down here in the castle dungeons were actually quite modern. In contrast to the cells, which would have fitted in quite nicely in the nineteenth century, the interview rooms were modern, reminiscent of the late 80’s. The walls were featureless and painted a drab grey, as was the hard concrete floor underfoot. The room was small, with a single light illuminating the whole room in an unnatural glow. The only furniture was the table, four chairs, and the large mirror, that anypony with half a brain knew was a one way window, complete with microphones, so that others could observe the interrogation.  

Neighsay slid into his seat, his eyes not leaving mine for an instant. It was if he was hoping that, even with his magic cut off by a security spell, and his EEA medallion confiscated by the custody sergeant, he could cause me to spontaneously combust by glaring at me. Wrought leaned forward in his chair, opening up the manilla file on his desk.  

“Chancellor Neighsay,” he began. “I must now caution you that you do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Neighsay hissed in a bitter tone.  

“Do you wish to speak with an attorney or have any other legal representative present for this interview?”

“No.”

Well this was going to go one of two ways. Either he was going to try and defend himself, eventually screw up, and spill the beans to Wrought. Or…

“Can you tell me how you came to be in possession of copyrighted teaching materials taken from Princess Twilight Sparkle’s School of Friendship?”

“No comment.”

Bugger.  

Back when I worked for the dark side, there were two ways you defended someone. First of all, I took them to one side and asked them to honestly tell me if they did what they were being accused of or not. If they said they were innocent, I could try to find evidence to prove that, and give them responses that would mitigate anything plod might have on them. However, I cannot lie for a client. If they tell me they did it, there’s only two options, go for a deal, or say sod all, and ‘no comment’ your way through the whole interview. That way at least you didn’t give them anything else.  

Now, normally, saying nothing in interview didn’t bode well. While silence could not be used as evidence to confirm guilt, since as Wrought had cautioned Neighsay, he was not obliged to say anything, it also cut off any potential ways to explain away the situation. At best, you got an impasse.  

And that was where we found ourselves now. Wrought tried a few more questions, but it became clear after the fifth one that Neighsay didn’t plan on saying much.  

“Do you have anything you wish to say in relation to this matter?” Wrought tried.

“No comment.” came the reply.  

Well, only one thing for it. Time to lay our cards on the table and see what happens.  

“Chancellor,” I began. “Might I take a stab at telling you what happened?” Neighsay said nothing, so I went on.  

“Here’s how I think things went down. We both know the EEA was caused no small amount of embarrassment by the reopening and subsequent success of the School of Friendship. Your own conduct certainly helped to show the organisation in a very poor light. But you were unable to take any action. So you concocted a plan, to use the course materials for a competitor school that would receive EEA accreditation and consequently draw prospective students away from Ponyville. But the documents were kept under tight security, and there was no way you could convince anypony on staff to help you. So you used your EEA medallion to create a portal directly into the office. From there, it was a simple matter of taking the documents and letting them fall into the hooves of Flim and Flam.”

Neighsay pondered what I had said for a moment before speaking.

“An interesting story,” he replied, opening up at last. “But just a story. You have no proof that I did anything.”

“Not true,” I replied with a smile. Here kitty kitty. I laid out the magic forensics report on the table. “The lab picked up traces of the magic from your amulet on the documents.”

Neighsay leaned forward to examine the report.  

“Background levels,” he declared after a moment. “This could be explained away by my mere proximity to these documents. I’ve examined them when Flim and Flam applied to have their school accredited. And if they truly do belong to Twilight Sparkle...”

“Princess Twilight Sparkle,” I corrected smoothly, prompting yet another glare. Neighsay continued.

“Then it is to be expected that there would be traces of the magic from my amulet on them.”

Damn, there it was, reasonable bloody doubt.  

We were dead in the water.





Both Wrought and I kept things up for a little while longer, but Neighsay quickly stopped answering again. We were left with no choice. After holding him for the twenty four hours we were allowed to without charging him, we had to cut him loose. Curiously, Neighsay didn’t seem to gleeful about it. He didn’t act like he’d just gotten away with something. If anything, he seemed quite curious about the whole affair as well.  

But he wasn’t telling us anything. If Flim and Flam were telling the truth, and my gut says they were, then somepony had sent them those documents. But who, if not Neighsay? Who else could possibly gain anything by sending those documents off into the wild blue yonder. The only other vague suspect I had was one of the students, possibly any of the students from outside Equestria. I may be nothing like Neighsay, but profiling does have its place in investigations. It was entirely possible that one of them might have an agenda.  

However, I wouldn’t learn the answer to this particular riddle until several months later. For the time being, the trail went cold. The Royal Guard did some follow up work, but it yielded very little. Twilight upped the security in her office, but other than that, there was little to do. And while I didn’t like leaving a mystery, never mind a crime, unsolved, I had other cases waiting on the docket.