//------------------------------//
// Slight Learning Sensation (3) 
// Story: Super Pony Roomies 
// by TheManehattanite 
//------------------------------//


6


“Aww noooo…” Applejack heard Johnnycake moan. “Tony, man, what’re you doing?” 

They were making their way back towards the table, some fella in a spiffy looking red and grey flight suit talking to Fluttershy and Trotter. Johnny had slowed slightly, as if rubbernecking at a Maredi Gras parade collision into the Canterlot Hearth’s Warming tree. 

An armoured figure was approaching their friends’ table. Applejack had heard of ol’ Shell Head since high school, naturally, but like most folks her age hadn’t had any idea who Antimony Spark was supposed to be until he’d ‘fessed up to building the thing. 

“Trouble?” she asked. 

“Probably,” Johnny sighed, looking at the corner they’d just left. The Unicorn in the violet mask and vest Rainbow had been trash talking, specifically. Guy looked mad enough to hurl his cue across the room at Spark like a hunting spear. Probably could if his rep with that bow was as good as she’d picked up. 

“Is everything okay?” Twilight had realised they weren’t following her. “Oh gosh, does Mr. Spark want to talk to Peter?”

“Where’s Cap?” Johnny said hurriedly. 

Arrowhead was coming towards them, ignoring the Befrienders who were trying to catch up and shoving past the detectives, hunters, mystics and assorted others who were in his way. 

“What’d we just get dropped in the middle of?” Applejack sighed. 

“Uh oh.” Pinkie had spotted Fluttershy’s response to the Mage’s presence, thankfully before Rainbow Dash had, and was bouncing across tables. “Sorry, ‘scuse me, pardon me, nice cape ya got there! Sorry!” 

“Cliff!” A gal in some kinda bird costume with billy clubs was trying to get in front of the archer. “Cliff, get back here you pig-headed—!”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Codi!” 

Applejack sized the approaching Arrowhead up and pulled her hat down more firmly, squaring her shoulders. The archer braked hard when he reached them and realised they were staying put. “Move it, Storm!” 

“He’s not worth it, ‘Row.”

She looked at the unlit Torch. Holding up both hooves was still a mite condescending but at least he was keeping a cool head. 

“What’d you know about it?” Arrowhead turned to glare at her. “I don’t have a problem with you.”

“Glad to hear it. Thing is, I got friends at that table.”

She’d been around enough to know when a Unicorn was going to try to charge or throw a punch and he wasn’t there yet, but she felt what Pinkie did and what Rainbow probably would’ve if she wasn’t too busy talking to the lady with the tiger stripes to notice. That Fluttershy didn’t need to be caught between two other ponies’ spat. She got caught between her friends’ often enough. 

“As do you.” She jumped back as a green and yellow something floated through the pillar next to them and put a suddenly solid hoof on the hothead’s shoulder. “You were one of the first to try and make me feel a part of this world, Cliff Bastion. One of the first I could truly call a friend. Please, even with what has happened, do not make war with Iron Mage in our place of peace. Do not say something you may not be able to take back.” 

Applejack enjoyed a good western at movie night as much as the next mare, but they never really got the feeling of a standoff right. This one had a tinge of surreality, given what the participants were wearing. 

She felt Twilight and Rarity taking positions beside her for whatever happened and felt slightly better. She glanced to the side and saw Rainbow Dash sitting up to come over, the Thing dwarfing her and felt the same gratitude you’d feel seeing a tank coming to save you from an impending bomb. 

Arrowhead smiled gravely, eyes and horn flashing, then breathed out and nodded. “Cap and Slipper worthy speech, Vis. Wisper’s lucky.”

“The other way around, I assure you.” The Vision’s ruby face segment curved upward again. “And friends like you.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Arrowhead snorted, nuzzling Mockingbird as she leaned calmingly against him. “I’ll settle the tab instead of Spark’s hash. This time.”

“C’mon,” Morse Code said gently. “They’ll have finished tuning up your sky-cycle by now.” 

“Sky-what?” Rainbow Dash had finally showed up. 

“Tell ya some other time, squirt,” the Thing rumbled. He and Johnny nodded at each other before he looked down at the archer. “Everythin’ good, Bastion?”

“Just peachy, rocky.” Arrowhead rolled his eyes as he and Mockingbird headed for the exit. He looked over his quiver at Applejack. “Hope you and your friends have a nice night. Sorry to get in your face.”

“Well, we don’t got a problem, so.” She tipped her hat but didn’t smile. She and the Thing kept their eyes on him until he was passing through the curtain. “Mr. Grim. Mr., uh…”

“I am known as the Vision.” 

“Well, thanks for steppin’ in.” She managed a smile. She felt the strength that had taken draining away as she turned to see Pinkie doing one of her Distraction?-Haha-That’s-Silly-Hey,-Lookit-Me-Be-Everywhere-At-Once routines. 

“Would it be rude to ask what in eight circles of Tartarus was that?” Rarity asked as they hurriedly resumed their course. 

“Word in the business is…” Johnny weighed the issue for a few seconds and sighed. “Word is Tony Spark put the Befrienders together to save the world. By keeping an eye on them.”


***


“I beg your pardon?” asked the wineglass hum laced voice under the helmet.

“It’s a simple enough question,” Pinkie Pie smiled. 

“A whipped cream gun.” 

“In your lil’ hoof thingies, yeah!” 

“My repulsor rays.”

“Are you married to that name?” Pinkie blinked, her blue eyes flickering on and off in the shiny, shiny faceplate. “How about, and I’m just spit balling here, Cream-A-Rays? That way you could cream and whip the competition! The banter writes itself!” 

“A-Rays?” 

“Arrays are important…somehow. See, it sounds fancy and technical, but with a hint of whimsy!” 

“…ever thought of going into advertising?” Iron Mage sounded impressed. 

“I was asked not to, actually. Now therein lies a tale! It was a mild, cloudy day with highs in the mid 60’s and a pink, precocious pony--”

“Who is enchanting,” Iron Mage cut in, the joviality of his voice at odds with his unmoving faceplate, “but will have to tell me the gory details some other time! Afraid I have pressing business with these two gentlecolts.”

“Do you now.” The Falcon stood up. Not aggressively, and yet...

“Yeah.” Iron Mage looked between him and Spider-Pony before lifting his hooves up to his temples. The faceplate and horn covering dissolved in a reverse waterfall of golden sparks and the candy apple red housing slid apart to allow Tony Spark to lift it off, cradling it like a hoofball. “In private, actually.”

“Oh, w-we can…” Fluttershy mumbled, courage peeking out from behind cover now that the scary metal man had a real face. What was it with superheroes and not having real faces?

“You don’t have to go anywhere. Right, Webs?” The Falcon nodded at Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy before looking at Spidey, who was pulling his mask down. 

“We’re probably gonna say no, Tony,” Peter said carefully. 

He didn’t know why he felt the need to keep his tone careful and his face hidden. It was the Iron Mage! You couldn’t think superpony without Iron Mage! But if those rumours were true…

“Say no to what?” The group turned as Twilight trotted hurriedly past Spark, trying to squeeze into a space that let her be between him and all three of the ponies she cared about. Um, all at once. She looked like she’d put on the wrong size of dancing shoes. 

“Ms. Sparkle!” Tony looked genuinely, pleasantly surprised to see her. “Ah, forgive me. Princess Twilight. I thought these two were familiar. Glad to see you’re all getting settled into the community.” 

He bowed with the grace new money learns to quietly annoy the aristocracy, but the respect old money shows to up and coming talent. “Buy you a round?” 

“There’s, um, really no need for that Mr. Spark.” 

Twilight’s wings flapped slightly. He’d been somewhere in the crowd at her coronation, hadn’t he? Spitfire had wanted to quarantine him as a walking security risk or something. 

Not that that was where her head was at but, well, Peter had mentioned the times he’d teamed up with the other magician fondly and was now doing that thing where he put the mask between him and another pony. And didn’t Spark Inspirations own stock in Damage Control? 

What she was really asking herself was did this nice stallion, who’d been sort of lying to his friends for years, know Peter’s secret…and did he know about them? 

The Falcon’s forelegs were folded. He wasn’t glaring but his avian eyes looked sharper. ““I’m with Cap. Just getting that out of the way right now.”

“I’d hope so.” Spark hadn’t stopped smiling. “You see, fellas, what with…everything lately…”

“Spying on your friends?” Johnny Storm snapped. There was a slight haze about his head and shoulders and the air around the table felt thicker suddenly. “Just because I tried to stop Arrowhead taking half the place out with you doesn’t mean I think he shouldn’t!”

“Hello, Johnny.” Spark wasn’t smiling now. “In the middle of something. Befrienders business.” 

“Oh, here we go!” The Torch ignited suddenly, hovering off the floor and right into the inventor’s face. Spark didn’t even blink. “Let me guess, the greater good? Man, at least T’Challa was threat assessing! All those lectures you used to trot out about how the FF should take more of a role in the community or whatever! Wanted us under glass too, was that it?” 

“No,” Spark said as if explaining why he’d brought a particular pair of slippers, “I felt you’d be better at it and had more right to than I did. Considering.” 

The Torch, who’d stared into the face of cosmic extinction before his first homecoming dance and smiled, blinked like he’d just walked into one of his sister’s invisible walls. “Oh.”

“Since everypony’s probably heard a version of what went on…” Spark’s smile was back, wry and very, very tired as he looked among the Elements. “Yes, one of the reasons I founded the Befrienders was because I was worried about so much unchecked power just wandering around Equestria. One of my reasons. And I could not have been happier to be wrong.”

“That’s nice an’ all,” Applejack said carefully, “but you’ll excuse me for sayin’ so, it sounds like the real problem is ya didn’t tell ‘em.” 

“Yeah, and now there’s a lotta questions about trust out there,” Rainbow Dash joined in. “Johnny’s right (and that kills me, you’ve got no idea) but of course everypony’s head’s gonna go there! For instance, one of your fancy factories is just a couple miles between Canterlot and Ponyville. How hard would it really be for you to keep track of us if you wanted to?”

“Those are good questions, actually,” Spark sighed. “I don’t pretend to understand what you six do, but you’ve always impressed. Just be careful those questions don’t dictate your thought process too much, okay? I’m a walking billboard for why that’s a bad idea. Which is why I’m stepping off the bench.”

The Elements and three supers alternated between staring at him and each other. 

“You’re quitting?” Spidey asked. “Iron Mage no more?” 

“Oh, I didn’t say that!” Spark chuckled. He looked wistfully into the empty space where the helmet’s plate would be. “But the ladies are right. I made a mistake, it hurt ponies I care about, and the best thing I can do is get out of the way so everypony can start healing.” 

“I don’t know if that’s a solution, Mr. Spark…” Twilight began. 

“Tony, please!” 

“What I mean Mr. Spark,” Twilight said firmly, “is that you’re talking like your friends need Iron Mage. They don’t need a suit. They need you!”

“I’m not so sure about that but you have the right idea,” Spark said, nodding and stepping pointedly past the still flaming Torch to address Spider-Pony and the Falcon. “The team’s going to need something, someone new for the void I’m about to leave. And I’m hoping one or both of you will fill it.” 

Everypony stared from him to the two heroes. The Falcon kept his eyes locked impassively on Spark’s tired, earnest face. Spidey looked at the Falcon, found no help there, then at Twilight and Johnny. Twilight managed an uncertain smile. Johnny just shrugged then nodded like ‘why not?’ 

“Thanks, but I’m with Cap.” The Falcon turned his wings on the scene and headed for the bar. “No matter what.” 

Plucky smirked and pulled something presumably important from a tap as he landed by the bar. Evening Rose smiled at Samaritan Willow as he put a quick wing on her shoulder and accepted his pitcher. Her expression tuned sombre as she looked directly at Spark and just nodded in acknowledgement. 

Spark nodded back, sighed through his nose then smiled brightly at Spider-Pony, still crouched on the wall above Fluttershy. 

He looked around the room, taking in the confusion on everypony’s faces. Well, bemusement on Johnny and Rarity’s, ‘standin’ right here!’ indignation on Rainbow Dash’s and Pinkie just always seemed to have that default Equestrian smile.

“What’s everypony looking at me for?” 

“Dude!” Spike held up a paw for a hoof bump. “You’re in the big leagues now!”

“Well. The Befrienders,” Johnny said not entirely mock-dismissively. Rarity nudged him sternly. 

“No I’m not,” Spidey said simply.

“Now hold on, sport,” Spark began, “let’s think about this--”

“I’ve thought about it. No.” 

“Seriously?” Dash squinted at him like he’d just walked into a French bistro and asked if they served horseshoes. Raw. “You’ve teamed up with, like…everybody!” 

“That’s a great point, Rainbow,” Spidey agreed, nodding. “So it’s like what’s the point?” 

“The point is you could live up to a lot more responsibility.” There was an airy infomercial Come-On-Now quality to Spark’s voice. “And with a lot more power in your corner. No more calling the hotline in a tight fix and finding out we’re on the other side of the planet. If anything, once your card’s been upgraded, we…they’ll come running to you.”

“Which’d be nice, but it won’t because I’m not joining.” Spidey looked around the table. “Anypony want more hay fries? Ooh, Johnny, what was that stuff Pluck had last Winter Wrap Up? The little Stalliongrad ball stuff? She flies it in special.” 

“Piroshki.” 

“Pirrrrrosh-keeee. Isn’t that fun to say?” 

“So’s a big ol’ ‘Befrienders Together!’” Spark winked. “Come on, you know you want to.”

“What am I, eight years old?” Spidey held a hoof up in front of Johnny’s face without looking. “Don’t answer that.” 

“No, but you’re gifted,” Tony persisted. “You and the team could do a lot for each other.” 

“Tony, I’ve got work tomorrow. And for the duration.”

“Shouldja really’ve taken us out then?” Applejack raised an eyebrow at his half full pitcher. “You’ve been puttin’ ‘em away more than the fire hazard.” 

“This?” Spidey toasted her with the pitcher and winked. “Root beer.” 

“Mostly ice water for me, since we’re on the subject, but you’re thinking along the right lines,” Johnny said, also winking at her. “It’d take way more than could possibly be safe to register with my highly fuel-efficient metabolism.”

He ruffled Spike’s fins. “In fact, young Spike and I have been sneaking the group’s excesses to make sure you girls keep clear heads for all those fascinating conversations you’ve been having, and also, sure, to see what would happen!” 

“♪A, B, C, D, E, F, G, ♪” Spike chanted hurriedly in the face of Twilight’s appalled fury, “, ♪H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O--♪”

“Not the point!” Twilight hissed between clenched teeth.

“Thanks.” Spidey glared at Johnny, as Twilight glared up at him because who’s big idea was going to Plucky’s again? “Tony, we’ve had this conversation Celestia knows how many times. It’s never been a good fit.”

Spark couldn’t keep a hint of disappointment out of his smile anymore. “We’ve never seriously tried, Peter.”

Twilight took a step towards him. “He says no, Mr. Spark.”

The other Elements looked at each other uncertainly. Harmony vs Shadow and Chaos, sure, but Harmony vs…one goateed wizard in a tin can? One smart goateed wizard who had his magic jewellery wrapped around him while theirs were a couple thousand miles back in a crystal tree. 

“I see.” 

Spark nodded at Twilight and Spidey, vanquished smile reflected in impassive lenses. He slid the helmet back into place, the seemingly simple metal performing a mechanical ballet as it ratcheted and sealed itself back into his neck brace and covered his face and horn in gold all at the same time. Like a phalanx of shields being pulled tight. 

“Johnnycake is spoken for, thank the Great Pony in the Sky, but I don’t suppose any of you…?”

“You probably know where to find us,” Rainbow Dash said, forelegs folded. 

“You can make an appointment,” Twilight added, making Dash smile. Sometimes lines just went together like that. 

“I might.” Iron Mage nodded at all of them. “Enjoy your evening.” 

With a disturbing amount of dignity his gauntlets sprouted tiny roller skate wheels, spinning him around and coasting to the exit. 


***


“Um, Mr. Spark?” wheezed a voice behind him. 

In the shadows of his helmet Tony Spark blinked as he paused before the curtain, turning to see Spike huffing up behind him. He gave the little fellow a bit to get his breath back, noting that, despite everything, Twilight Sparkle was smiling in their direction. Spider-Pony, it seemed, rather pointedly had his back to Spark. 

“Uh…I know this is probably kinda tacky, but, well, you never know when you’ll get a chance like this…do you think, I mean, would it be okay if…?” 

The youngster looked at his purple feet as he held up a notebook. Tony squinted through the slits, smiling at seeing the (code) names of so many friends he’d collected. 

“My pleasure.” 

He popped the visor and used his telekinesis to manipulate the quill tipped shoulder waldo he’d installed for just such occasions. 

“Wow! Thanks!”

“No, thank you,” Tony corrected, sealing the faceplate again and gliding into the darkness of the tunnel. “I needed that.” 


7


“Still fun,” Rarity said.

“Hmm?” Johnny looked over as the masked staffer on the bar moved off to take their last orders of the night. “Sorry?”

“Tonight has still been fun in spite of…all that,” Rarity smiled. “I knew you were worrying.”

“The only thing I’m worried about is you guys taking Shellhead up on the offer.” Johnny smirked to let her know he was alright.

“Scared of the competition, eh?”

“No, you can just do way better than the B-Team. Seriously, they call themselves that sometimes, it’s sad.” 

“Mmm. Good enough for your flatmate, apparently.” 

Rarity smiled over at the corner where Pinkie and Spidey were having an upside-down contest, both balancing a little too perfectly on a table Duke Cage was bouncing with his shoulders. Rainbow had encouraged it as a quick way to cover her pool loss. 

“Surprised he turned it down, though!” 

“Spark’s scraps aren’t as appetising as they used to be, I guess.” Johnny shrugged. “Surprise is Pete’s as openly with you guys as he is, honestly. Dude’s always had this need to assert his independence.” 

“You have that in common.” Rarity smiled as he blinked. “You know, moving in together and everything. I’m a tad jealous, actually. I went through quite a few roommates in college, then when I got back I had to bunk at Sweet Apple Acres for a bit until I could find my own place. And that certainly wasn’t in the heart of Manehattan!”

“Yancy Street.” Johnny raised an eyebrow. “The heart of Manehattan.”

“You know what I mean!” She prodded his 4 logo. “Anyway, as I was trying to say tonight has been lovely. We should try again sometime when there’s less resentment and posturing.” 

“Good luck,” Johnny chuckled, turning to accept the first of the two trays waitresses were bringing over. “Y’know, if you want somewhere more lowkey I know a couple places. The best aren’t even in Equestria so it might be just the two of us, but if you have some free time maybe we could--”

He turned, tray firmly balanced on his back, to blink at the empty space where Rarity had been standing. Teleportation accident? Elaborate illusion? Kidnapping to the Microverse?!

…no, there she was. By the Hex-Ponies’ table. 

Talking to Nightcharger. 

“Sorry Mr. Storm, just checking.” A waitress had her pad out, which also had a little mask logo on the back. “That was...four super hay fry baskets, seven hay burgers with the works, one meat lovers platter, one plate of piroshki to share and a Celestia-salad?”

“Yeah,” Johnny muttered, feeling as hungry as a used tire that had been dragged behind a semi for half of El Camino Royale. “It’s her favourite.” 


***


“Of course I remember you, fräulein!” the elfin Hex-Pony said. His strangely elegant cloven hooves made Rarity feel all tingly as he gracefully took her own, and that was before he kissed it. “A pleasure to see you again!” 

“Well, saw you chaps over here,” she grinned, feeling her slightly Canterlotian accent playing up as if to compliment his own, “and one likes to be friendly, you know.”

“Ah, would that every creature was as lucky to have friends such as you,” Nightcharger agreed, nodding solemnly. 

“O брат,” an un-armoured Colossus muttered, wings twitching in sync with his rolling eyes. 

“C’mon, tin woodsman,” Timberwolf smirked, hefting his personal drinks tray onto the Pegasus’ back. “Let’s go whip Night an‘ Wings at pinball again. Don’t pout, I’ll rustle ya up some piroshki.”

‘Thaaank yoooou!’ Rarity mouthed silently at that wolf masked enigma as the elf like goat-pony waved farewell to his friends. One of Timberwolf's strange ear-eyes or whatever they were supposed to be winked at her, or more probably at his teammate. 

“So how have you been?” she simpered as Nightcharger turned to face her, admiring the short, neat horns curving oh so nicely out of that dishy mane.

“Ah, you know, fighting to protect a world that hates and fears us.” Nightcharger casually wrapped his tail around his Perrier water to take a sip. “That sort of thing. I daren’t bore a cultured mare with such trifles. I would much rather hear what you’ve been up to!”

“Mmm, not a lot of hating and fearing.” Rarity admired those deliciously smouldering yellow eyes, her chin on her hoof. “Been thinking of expanding my horizons, actually. You know I was this close to being offered a spot on the Befrienders?” 

“Ach! A loss to the world that cuts me to the quick!” Nightcharger placed one of those tingle inducing hooves over his heart. “Such an inspiration to ponies everywhere, and when I think of what you could bring to my own humble comrades…”

“I’m not an Hexquestrian though,” Rarity purred and winked. 

“Indeed, and yet I cannot help perceiving an unearthly beauty about you.” He leaned closer, mirroring her Thinker pose and roguish smile. Somewhere, Spike’s blood went cold. “It would take some time to discern precisely why, I suspect.”

“I may have some time.” Were her cheeks flushing? That wouldn’t matter if she could keep her tone consistent though. 

“Didn’t you say you were travelling?” Oh yes, raise that eyebrow darling, dear me. 

“Mmm, didn’t say where.” Now for a good lash flutter. 

She wasn’t thinking long term, but this dark and handsome stranger had been a distinct bright spot in his team’s hectic visit to Ponyville and she could at least try to get past the smell of his…unique brand of teleporting to become more familiar.

…a familiar smell. A nice rainwater scent with a hint of athleticism that gave just the right amount of character without being overwhelming. Familiar presence behind her too. 

“I’m not giving you 81-bits.” She tried not to clench her teeth. 

“Nah, it’s all good,” Rainbow smiled, perching behind her like an albatross that was trying an innovative approach. “The web-head sneezed and fell off, so Pinkie won by default. And so did I!” 

Nightcharger was smiling at Rarity but not for the reason she wanted him to. “How nice.” 

“Yeah, he put up a fuss, but his lawyer set him straight.” Something in Dash’s tone made her look up at her. She was languidly admiring a wing, the cheeky thing. “He’s the tall, dark and red one over there.”

Rarity followed the pointing wingtip. The stag in the devil costume had his back to them, talking to a grouchy Spider-Pony, but oh goodness, those shoulders, those antlers… 


***


“So!” Nighcharger blinked as Rainbow Dash seamlessly lowered herself into the suddenly unoccupied chair, stamping down a small lilac scented dust cloud Rarity had left behind. “Where were we?” 

“In the middle of discussing fencing lessons as I recall,” Nightcharger chuckled. “Greetings Ms. Rainbow. Congratulations on your success at the Equestria Games!” 

“It was a group effort.” Dash shrugged, mostly to show off her shoulders and her totally awesome humility. “Luckily I was part of the group.” 

“Oh, I’m sure. I’m surprised the Befrienders haven’t considered you during this recent unpleasantness!”  

“Y’know, funny story! Iron Mage was just here…But I can fill ya in over dance classes.” 

“You mean fencing lessons.” 

“I said what I meant.” 

“What have you done?” Spider-Pony was hanging from the ceiling and into her face, pointing irritably in Rarity and Deerdevil’s direction. 

“Played Cadence,” Dash muttered, flapping a wing to make him back off. “Speaking of, in the middle of something here!” 

“Would Cadence have started a dread pact that could potentially destroy or conquer Equestria?” Spidey alternated between glaring at her and the Deer Without Fear. “No, don’t you smile at that, you—!” 

Deerdevil said something that made Rarity laugh. 

“Guten aben, Spinnenpony.” Nightcharger relaxed back in his seat, balancing it on his tail as he enjoyed the show. “Something to drink, perhaps?”

Dash smiled, or at least bared her teeth. “He was just leaving!“

“Hey, ‘Charger.” Spidey waved vaguely at one of the few Hex-Ponies with any chill, focusing on Dash. “When you’re busy not plunging us into a thousand years of flirty darkness, grubs up in ten minutes.”

“I’ll make the most of it,” Dash said firmly, tugging on his gross line so he bungeed up into the rafters and resumed leaning on her table. “Y’know, my wings, your tail, there’s a lot of dexterity in here tonight. A mare could get ideas!”

“Your version of a Fastball Special did show a distinct creativity.” 

“Flattery will get you almost everywhere!” 

“By the way,” Spidey said as he swung down, buzzing the table, “Sleipnir’s looking for you. She's over there with the Warrior's Three, by the jukebox.” 

“Great, now Asgard off!” Dash snapped, waving irritated hoofs and wings. Then blinked. “Huh. Wonder why?” 

“Perhaps we can ask her.” Nightcharger held out a hoof. 

Rainbow sensed she probably shouldn’t, but that smile, that raised eyebrow, those horns. His grip was pretty cool too, maybe something about cloven hooves and those evening gloves…

BA—

An instant sorta all over ripple. Purple smoke and rushing darkness. Aw man, that smell. Thank sun he was pretty because seriously, that smell! 

—MF!

“Guten aben, Mighty One!” Nightcharger’s voice was perfectly clear as Dash felt the world around her solidify, background noise still watery. “I believe you have business with my dear friend here?” 

“Ah, the thanks of the Golden Realm to you, elfin one!” A leg with Rarity’s grace and the size of Big Mac’s gripped Rainbow’s in a wing juddering shake as the Shining Steed herself grinned at her. “Greetings young quickster, we meet again! Now, it has reached our ears--Fandral, stop laughing! We believe there has been talk of mead…?”


8


“That cannot be legal,” Applejack said again. 

“I know!” Rainbow Dash grinned at the Celestia sized keg lashed to her back. “Bet that’ll make it taste even more awesome!” 

They were drawing the odd looks from the ponies of mystery and action at other tables because the keg being from Asgard meant that, overly ornate as it was, it was also king sized and aggressively decorated, making it look like an explosive simply biding its time. Dash’s enthusiasm added to the effect somehow. 

Fluttershy was craning to take the whole thing in, trying to resist the urge to sink and shimmy under the table. “That was very…nice of Ms. Slepnir.”

“Perfect way to wash all this down.” Dash patted her stomach as staff tried to manoeuvre around the keg to clear away their decimated plates. “Hey, great spread you guys put on here. Tell Ms. Stars compliments to the chef!” 

“You might wanna go easy,” Spidey chuckled, pulling down his mask as he handed over his last pitcher of the night. “I mean, Asgardian anything after that many hay fries?” 

“Some of us only indulge the vice of a pinch too much salad dressing,” Rarity said, preening, “so they shall be just fine.” 

“I’ll take that action.” Dash grinned at the Unicorn's smirk. “Oh, speakin’ of. Here.”

Johnny blinked but held out a hoof as she rustled a bag out of her wings, emptying most of it into his pad. “Uh…”

“’Ay,b,k!” 

“What?”

“Payback!” Dash smacked her lips slightly after returning the bag to her feather pocket. “For covering me with Mr. Big Shot! The guy who looks like he couldn’t decide if he was goin’ to Comic Con or a renaissance fair?” 

Johnny blinked. “Oh! Right!” 

He gingerly stashed the tower of cash in his collar, aware of the bulk of his still full wallet next to it as the magic compressed them. Dash had never been happy about money around him. He wondered if she was just glad to be rid of him now or if the prospect of mead had her in that good a mood. 

“Still say I would’ve nailed it if the underside of that table wasn’t so dusty,” Spidey muttered.

“Yeah, well, ya didn’t.” Pinkie held out a hoof to effortlessly accept a cackling Dash’s hoof slap. 

“I’m not sure we should be throwing money around just like that,” Twilight gulped. She was looking at the bill and wondering how, with her Bachelors, she’d missed all those hay fries and root beers adding up. “Um, let’s see…I’ve got 10-gems on me left over from my stipend…” 

“I can--” Spike began.

“No, that’s okay Spike,” Twilight and Spidey said at once. Spike fumed with impotence and pre-adolescent irritation as they looked into each other’s eyes, swept away on a tide of maternal Harmony. 

“I can cover everypony,” Johnny offered. 

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Applejack said, fishing her wallet out of her hat brim. “We Ponyvilleians like to show our respect for hospitality like this.”

“Well said, Jackie!” Rarity conjured her current clutch. “Know I’ve got a juicy 20-piece gem in here somewhere…”

“I can chip in 19-bits.” Dash spread both wings, trying to remember where she’d stashed the remains of her winnings. “Unless you wanna hang onto your share, Pinkie? Wouldn’t have ‘em without you!” 

“Aw Dashie, but that’s fine! In fact, put me down for 19-bits too.” Pinkie shook her tail over the table, everypony flinching as bric-a-brac cascaded onto the wood. “Uh, well, a 10-piece gem, nine bits, some streamers and an emergency sundae kit, I guess. Wondered where that got to. Oh hey, my samoflange!”

“Is that…” Johnny squinted. “Is that a fake Princess Celestia head?”

“Yep.”

“…why?”

“Just in case!” 

“Here!” Fluttershy nosed over some bits. Twilight looked back and forth between the bill and the growing pile, looking relieved  as she conjured her own contribution. And bundled up Pinkie’s excess stuff. 

“This oughta do it.” Spidey pulled a voucher out of one of his gloves. “20-gems, courtesy of Damage Control!”

“Oh, no!” Twilight insisted, reaching for it and he slid it next to her neat rows of change. “You two have been wonderful this evening and you have rent--”

“Tip,” Spidey explained, tapping to indicate the distance he’d left between them. 

“Oh, I see. But I insist on splitting the change!” 

“No need, but your call,” Johnny said and smiled as he and Rarity finished combining their own contribution. Spike watched with envy as their hooves brushed against each other when Johnny slid the roll of gems over to Twilight. “So, what’s next? Manehattan Mall’s on the way home if you guys’d like any souvenirs. Or Dragon Town’s just a few blocks from here.”

“You’re kiddin’!” Applejack stifled a yawn. “It’s the back‘a ten. I thought Webs had work like the rest of us and you’d…uh, whatever it is you do.” 

“Live the life fantastic.” Johnny flashed her a tropical getaway smile. 

“Sure.” 

Applejack’s complete lack of susceptibility left him pouring all that charm into a void, where it froze and drifted away into hopeless oblivion. He got a weird Sue vibe off her for some reason. 

“He means it,” Dash muttered, adjusting her keg straps. “I got tomorrow off but even then, we score this baby and we’re not gonna have a nightcap?” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Twilight said. “After I put Spike to bed. No, don’t look at me like that. You’ve gotten away with enough tonight.” 

“Like looking after you in the morning isn’t gonna be punishment enough.” Spike folded his arms and looked up at Spidey. “Seriously, eleven outta ten times I’m the one making sure she gets at least five hours sleep. And that’s without the hard stuff!” 

“On that note,” Spidey cut in quickly before Twilight could say anything, and loudly to carry over Rarity and Rainbow’s laughter, “love to say goodbye back at the apartment, but I’ve gotta check out Dragon Town.”

Fluttershy blinked. “For souvenirs?” 

“I wish! Somepony at F.E.A.S.T. mentioned Mr. Leaf’s opening some new properties in the area and that probably means the Inner Demons’ll be skulking around. They’ve really got it in for that guy for some reason! Wanna make sure they don’t leave any boobytraps in his construction sites, or worse.”

“Want any back up?” Rainbow and Johnny asked simultaneously. They blinked at each other then quickly looked away.

Spidey’s mask and lenses wrinkled slightly in a way Johnny and Twilight had come to know meant he was smirking. “Flames and rainbows? Just the thing for an evening of stealthy reconnoitring!” 

Dash turned around, almost biffing Applejack’s nose with the keg to make sure it didn’t obscure her rude tail gesture. 

“There’s a 50/50 chance they won’t even show up, Dash,” Peter chuckled. “Besides, already talked to Misty and Crimson. They’ll call it in to the M.E.U.P. and check out some of the other places themselves.” 

“Eh, guess there’s no point then,” Dash decided, nodding since her bounty made shrugging impossible, “and they're just minions. You even meet their boss yet?”

Spidey’s lenses narrowed. “Not yet.” 

“But there’s a reckoning on the horizon.” Johnny formed a flaming Spidey mask, complete with a Viking helmet. “And when that day comes…!” 

The Elements laughed. Even Spike did, begrudgingly. Spidey cocked his head to take in the horns. “…that’s actually not a bad look for me.” 

“You’re welcome.” Johnny extinguished the mask and beamed at the Elements. “Don’t worry Twilight, I’ll make sure he doesn’t web himself to anything embarrassing.

“I appreciate it,” Twilight chuckled. “Thank you both, this has been...um...”

“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash supplied. 

“Delightful," Rarity said primly, stepping up to shake Johnny’s hoof. “Tonight has been delightful. Perhaps we’ll pop in again sometime.”

“Right,” Johnny smiled, even though she kept glancing at the corner where Nightcharger was chatting about sword techniques with Blade and Crimson Wings. 

“Do you guys do holidays down here?” Pinkie asked. “Are there superhero holidays?!”

“Not everyone here is a superhe--” Spidey began. 

“Multiple options? I like it. Does Ms. Star’s need help event planning?” 

“Pinkie, wait!” Applejack and Twilight reached for Pinkie but only wound up conking heads as she dived into a pot plant and sprouted next to a startled Plucky behind the bar. “Consarn it!” 


***


“Are you sure?” Twilight asked as everypony except Rainbow and Spike hurried off to try and rescue Plucky. 

“Mmm?”

“That you don’t want any help with these…Demon thingies.” Twilight fought down a yawn. Flying was becoming less new and more comfortable every day but, the way her meal was settling, she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to crawl for the subway ride back to Yancy Street. “It wouldn’t be any trouble…” 

“You left your Mare Do Well costume back in Ponyville.” 

“Who said I needed it?” Twilight smirked into the lenses. “And besides, did we ever really need an excuse for Princess Celesta’s faithful student to be seen next to that menace?” 

“Point,” Peter chuckled. 

It had been nice just broadsiding the Maggia and the Tracksuit Draculas then ordering out like that. He still smiled at the memory of Silver Scream’s face. And Twilight wasn’t even an Alicorn at the time! 

“What happened to your hat again?”

“Gave it to Rarity for a custom Waxing Gibbous outfit.”

“Aww!”

“But AJ lent me hers. The purple wide brim thing, I mean. Ponyville doesn’t really need a hero--”

“Not since I started taking the job more seriously,” Dash said as she nodded gravely. 

“You just needed a little…perspective.” Twilight smiled gently at her before turning back to Spidey. “Anyway, I kind of like having the outfit around. Just in case I ever need to go off the grid!” 

“Off the grid,” Peter repeated flatly. 

“That’s the term, shut up.” She swatted at his spider logo. “But fine, I won’t cramp your style. Just promise me you’ll at least take Johnnycake along? For my peace of mind?”

Dash quirked a brow. “I thought you wanted to protect the guy, Twilight.”

“Nicely timed!” Spidey chuckled. 

“Cheers! And don’t you worry about her showing ya up, Webs. This stuff on my back will probably put her outta commission for the rest of the night. Probably the week.” 

Twilight scowled. “You know I’ve technically got the metabolism of all three tribes now, right?” 

“Yeah, but you don’t have mine. Face down, in your tankard, murmuring constellations in your sleep, just like Luna’s last jubilee! A hundred bits!” 

“What is it with you and gambling tonight?!” Twilight waved irritably at the bar. “And will you put them out of their misery and get Pinkie already?”

“Surprised they never remember this,” Dash sneered, then stuck two wingtips in her mouth, startling the bar with a short but piercing whistle. A startled Spidey leapt onto the wall, next to a print of a tired looking Celestia in armour alongside the troops at the liberation of Somnambula.

“What’s up?” Pinkie beamed, leaning upside down into Dash's face as she balanced on the tip of the keg. 

“Us!” Dash grinned. “Gotta get a taste of that sweet, sweet mead!”

“Hay yeah!” Spike rubbed his paws together, slowing when he saw Twilight’s face, any protests sandblasted back down his throat. 


9


It took two trips back up the elevator carriage to get the keg and everypony back to street level. Rainbow Dash enlisted the Daughters of the Dragon and Fluttershy in getting her trophy into the space, arguing with Misty Knight about how technically only Asgardian magic counted as contraband. 

“So Asgardian liquor is what, a chemical weapon?” Night muttered, wiping her brow with her crystal leg. “Sounds right.”

“Oh for…” Dash rolled her eyes as she took a strap, squeezing into the space the keg had barely left between itself and the seats. “Look, either bust me or drop it!”

“Way I figure whatever that stuff does to you is more punishment than I could ever dish out!” 

“That’s her way of saying she had fun tonight,” Crimson Wings smiled, leaning against the un-shuttered doorway. “See you on top of the theatre on Grand Street, Spidey. If we don’t, we probably found something.” 

“Ditto,” Spidey agreed, nodding at her. “Thanks, Wings. Johnny, if I promise to buy you a shiny new train set will you puh-LEEZ make sure the Elements make it back home in one piece?” 

“You know about the magic princess-portal in my apartment?!” The Daughters turned from arguing with Dash to blink at Johnny, his expression stunned but his eyes flashing with the joy of revenge. “Goodness gracious Twilight, we really must have a talk with that coltfriend of yours! Look at the sort of ragamuffin he’s entrusting with your arcane secrets! I must apologise for my choice in roommates, I really must!” 

“Portal, huh?” Night’s eyes narrowed. “And you were going to mention that when…?”

“When it came up, Detective,” Twilight smiled thinly. “Because it’s my business, not the city’s.”

“Fair.” Night shrugged. Twilight blinked as she held out her flesh and blood foreleg for a shake. “Hope we have more nights like this.”

“Uh…?”

“Quiet ones. You fillies are fun when the sky’s not turning blood red.” 

“You ain’t so bad when you’re not blamin’ Tambulon cultists on us, Detective,” Applejack said with a wink and tipped her hat. “Take care. These Demon fellas sound like a pain.”

“Can I assume their choice means all the good nom de gurres have been taken?” Rarity asked, waving as the Daughters of the Dragon vanished into the maze of alleys back to the real world. “You alright over there, Rainbow?”

“Don’t think I tied this thing back on properly!” 

Dash was staggering back and forth across the lot, trying not to rear as the keg swung precariously, dragging her with it. The loose cord whipped into the air suddenly. “Agh! Look out!” 

“I gotcha!” Spider-Pony’s hooves blurred, Dash blinking at the sudden stability. He hadn’t even used his webs. 

“Huh. Sturdy. Thanks!” 

“Just don’t drown anypony with that stuff and we’ll call it even.”

“Nice work.” Applejack admired the knot he’d used to secure the loose cord and a tighter one he’d managed around Rainbow’s waist to secure the whole thing. “Where’d ya pick that up? Web-slingin’?” 

“One of the most important skill of the Lad Pioneers.” Spidey gave Twilight her goodbye peck on the cheek and hopped onto the chain link fence. 

“Huh!” Applejack beamed pointing to herself, Dash and Rarity. “Filly Scouts all! Didn’t know you were in the competition!” 

“Never said I was!” Spidey called back, springing to the lowest rooftop. They heard the thwip and rush of wind as he swung into the night. 

“I don’t get that guy.” Dash shook her head. Then grinned. “So, who wants the next taste after mine?” 


10


“I’m just saying!” Rarity protested the next morning, as she and Applejack made their way down Market Street. “Sweet Water Spa was right on the other side of the woods! The amount of skill with the compass it took to chart the course should have gotten me a badge all on its own!” 

“Y’ever think maybe the reason there’s no rule against redirectin’ your troupe route is ’cause they figured it was such an obvious thing not to do?” Applejack smirked. 

“Well, if they hadn’t left the map unattended like that...” 

“You’d probably still’ve been caught. Not that many fillies at camp with Istallion mascara.”

“Was it my fault youth organisational cartography in the ’90s was so bland?” Rarity huffed, almost aristocratically tossing her sun hat off. “I was trying to match the lines.” 

“Rares, it glowed in the dark.” 

“It was through some particularly dense foliage! I wanted to make sure they could see it! You know, for the good of the troupe.” 

“Sometimes I wonder if you were tryin’ to get kicked out or somethin’,” Applejack grinned. “I mean, it didn’t even occur to ya the evidence was all over your face the next mornin’?” 

“Mother said it’d build character,” Rarity beamed back. “When that mare from camp came around to tell her everything she said yes, that was quite enough thank you, and cancelled my membership right there on the doorstep.”

They laughed as they turned onto Ponyville Plaza, heading for the library. 

“I love that story.”

“I know.” Rarity winced and held out a hoof. “Mmph. Hit me.”

“Creeps up on ya, don’t it?” Applejack passed her an apple from the satchel at her side and took one for herself. “Tasted great though, I thought!”

“A mite metallic for my liking but not bad, yes.” 

Rarity felt better for the sweetness of her bite. She’d gone through an entire bunch of bananas this morning and that feeling of a honey laced hammer still kept coming back. 

“It’s a bit like your first pies, actually. You’re not sure what you’ve just taken so you take some more. Too bad you never wrote those recipes down, you could’ve patented them. Started a chain.” 

“Eh, I’d have to be honest about what went into ‘em.” Applejack winked then looked up at the sky. Some of the weather team were trying to haul clouds across town to the fields. “Takin’ a while up there, aren’t they? Rainbow’s usually woken up from oversleepin’ and whipped the sky into shape by now.” 

“And I have a sneaking suspicion why not,” Rarity leered, beckoning her to one of the treehouse’s windows. 

Applejack blinked at the still uncollected mail then trotted up to join her.

Most of the curtains were drawn, the closed sign hung from one of the branches but with Twilight that could mean anything:

‘I’m trying to paint over some burn marks, haha, no, don’t look too closely at them, they’ll see you. Magic.’
‘Princess Celestia finally gave in and let me have a sensory deprivation tank! The system works!’ 
‘Help, help, I’ve accidentally given my boyfriend four extra legs! Again!’

On the other hoof, last night Applejack had watched Fluttershy cheer Twilight on as she tried to balance upside down on her wings and drink the homebrew of the Gods through a straw, so it didn’t take Rarity’s amateur detective skills to put it together. 

The warm, earthy dimness of the Golden Oak’s living room. Shapes slumped over couches. Spike made his way over, carrying cleaning supplies on tip toes and saw them. He shook his head hurriedly, expression pleading. 

“Don’t,” Applejack said with no sincerity and a grin on her face. 

Rarity gleefully slammed the kitchen’s back door open as if delivering a jaunty murder accusation. “Gooood morning everypony! Gracious, almost noon now! Lovely, sunny day outside! Who fancies a picnic?” 

“Overdoing it,” Twilight muttered blearily into her pillow. 

“That’s what ponies would probably say if they could see you now, yes dear.” 

Rarity skipped merrily into the disturbed shadows of the living room to get a better view of the devastation. She wasn’t disappointed. 

“Twilight I get, but what’re you girls doing here? I distinctly remember Applejack having to tie you together to get you back home.” 

“It’s supposed to be quiet in here,” Dash snarled under her breath, readjusting the cloud stuff she’d torn off to use as an ice pack. 

“Aunty Posy…?” Fluttershy asked groggily, head wobbling out from under a blanket. 

“Still in jail, darling. Go back to sleep.”

“’Kay.” 

“What do you want.” Twilight opened one eye to frown lopsidedly at Rarity. She hadn't had the energy for a question mark. 

“Why, only the best for you Twilight!” Rarity skipped over, readjusting the blanket she’d managed to pull over her ruffled wings. “Make sure you’re properly hydrated, caught up on your mail, that sort of thing. ♪Oh, Applejack! ♪”

“Yeah, yeah…” There was the rustling of paper outside. “Spike, they had anythin’ to eat yet?”

“We’re waiting on it,” the dragon said, and shrugged helplessly at the glares Twilight and Dash were giving him. Loyalty and sympathy were one thing, but they seriously expected him to stand up to Rarity? Alone? 

Applejack walked in, dumping Twilight and Spike’s mail on a table but hanging onto Twilight’s copy of The Derby Bugle. “Somethin’ sweet, that’s what you’ll need. Got some apples right here for jucin’ if you’ll fire up some coffee. Got any peanut butter?” 

“There,” Rarity cooed, tucking a helpless Twilight in, “isn’t that sweet of her?”

“And what’ll you be doin’?” Dash muttered, straining to reach her shades from where they’d fallen. 

“Marvelling at the fortitude of the Pegasus metabolism, naturally.” Rarity’s leering teeth glowed ethereally as she telekinetically snatched them up and slowly lowered them over her victim’s hate filled red(der) eyes. 

“That’s a nice hat,” Dash said simply. “Andelusian?” 

Rarity adjusted it proudly. “Oh, how nice of you to notice.”  

“Yeah, I’m gonna throw up in it at the first opportunity.” 

“You beast!” Rarity flung herself backwards, almost tripping over Spike as she clutched the brim protectively. 

“I’ll cast whatever spell you like on you if you make sure her head’s still in the way when you do,” Twilight grumbled, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. She winced at the sound of squelching apples from the kitchen. 

“You know exactly what spell I want,” Dash muttered. 

“No.”

“Twilight, for the love of Celestia…”

“Okay, you know how you feel now?” Twilight sat up to glare properly. “I feel the exact same, and you want me to shoot the fundamental force of our reality into your bloodstream?”

“What’s this about blood now?” Applejack emerged with a tray of peanut butter and jelly covered toast while Spike hurried behind her with a pitcher of fresh apple juice. They could smell coffee brewing. 

Twilight smiled grimly, accepting a cup. “Rainbow Dash wants me to magically remove her sun blasted mead from our systems. Which, for the record, would not be enjoyable even if I was 50% sure I could cast it properly.” She took a sip and leaned over venomously. “You hear that, Dannii? I threw in a percentage!” 

“Throw this,” Dash muttered. Her wing twitched and went limp. 

Twilight sat up a little to take some toast. “What was that supposed to be?” 

“Rude wing gesture. Did it work?”

“No.” 

“Blegh.” Dash’s shades slipped down slightly, allowing her to glare better as Applejack leaned over her. “You’re lovin’ this.” 

“I cannot tell a lie,” Applejack smirked and waved some toast inches from her snout. 

Dash held out for two heartbeats and then lunged, jaws clamping furiously around sweet, crusty salvation. 

“Oh-ho, she lives! Where’s Ms. Mead anyway? She was the belle of the ball the last we saw ya’ll.” 

“Dispersed it,” Twilight said thickly. “It had to pay.”

“Uh huh. Say, where’s Pinkie?” 

“M’gm’ph.” Dash waved sadly at the pile of what they realised was soft toys in the corner. 

“Aunt Posy, no…” Fluttershy mumbled, “she’s a cabinet minister…Oh dear…” 

“Pinkie? Darling?” Rarity made to prod the pile. She realised what she was doing, conjured a handkerchief, wrapped it tight around her hoof and prodded. 

An incongruously happy Luna plushie tumbled off, revealing a pink mane. “b’d.”

“Huh?” Applejack leaned closer. 

Pinkie opened one watery blue eye. “Bad!” 

Rarity and Applejack flinched as they caught sight of her tongue. It wasn’t Poison Joke bad, but not by much.

“I got her,” Rainbow winced, taking a glass and gesturing at the still open jar of peanut butter on Applejack’s tray. “You got another jar of this stuff, yeah? Fantastic.” 

Rarity watched in fascinated horror as Dash tipped the juice into the peanut butter and swirled it around. She leaned down to Pinkie’s grateful lips, stroking her mane. “Theeere we go, babe. That’s it.”

“Aunt Posy, no!” Fluttershy sat up frantically. “It’s just a clerical error! Ow! Oh…um…Morning everypony…” 

“So, ah, now that the gang’s all up and…well, up,” Spike said gingerly, “what, uh, what do you wanna do if the princess sends something this morning?”

Twilight muttered something darkly through her second mouthful of toast. 

“Sorry?”

“Tell her an ursa major sat on us, I don’t know.” Twilight ran a hoof through her mane. “Ugh, I wouldn’t even be moving if I didn’t need a shower. No wonder those Asgardians are so happy half the time and dour the rest. Where’d you put the mail, AJ? I really only want the paper.”

“You, uh, sure about that?” Applejack’s look had nothing to do with the guilt of having started reading it. 

“Brain needs stimulation,” Twilight said, managing to fully stand. “Besides Status Quo’s new feature’s just been getting better and better!” 

“Okay, but…” Applejack looked around, scowling and swatting as Rarity tried to lean in for a peek. “Ya gotta brace yourself an’ not overreact, alright?” 

“Why would I?” Twilight asked, scrunching her eyes shut at the fact she even asked. 

Applejack led her over to a nice, quiet corner. Showed her the headline. It took a few attempts because the photo wasn’t in colour and Twilight’s vision still wasn’t great. 

When it cleared, she screamed. Everypony jumped as she rose into the air glowing purple, screaming now gargled and hacking. She dropped to the floor and rounded on them, eyes still glowing. The still recovering Elements shuddered and gibbered as their own eyes and mouths lit up with her light. 

“SUN BLAST IT!” Rainbow Dash flapped in a hysterical circle, clawing at her temples. “What the hay was that?!” 

“You wanted an instant cure!” Twilight’s smile was as in control as a nosediving zeppelin. “Welcome to the fast-paced world of Magically Accelerated Healing Doesn’t Solve Anything! I need everypony in fighting form! Not fighting! The other thing! It’s soft! I don’t care! Be ready!”

Dash covered her eyes as Twilight flung herself into her own floor, vanishing in a splash of love magic. “Ready for what?!” 

“I think we’re about to have company,” Applejack said, sheepishly holding up the front page. “And he, ah, mighta had a rougher night than you guys.”

The other four Elements and Spike clustered around to get a better view. Even with better vision it took a while and a few head turns to make out what they were supposed to be looking at. They all winced simultaneously. 


11


“Honestly, it’s not as bad as it looks,” somepony was saying through the pulsing darkness. 

“He looks like…well, what happened to him happened to him!” Twilight’s voice. A beat. “What happened to him?!” 

“Well he took off last night--”

“Did those Demon people do this?!” Purple light through slits. Were his eyes closed? 

“No, we creamed them, actually. Things didn’t get too hairy until whatshisface showed up.”

“Whatshisface?” Twilight asked in sync with his own question. “Oh, the master of disguise!”

“No! You know! The guy who hates him!” 

“Uh…” Twilight let the obvious need for clarification hang in the air. 

Peter Trotter (Right, that was his name! That had been driving him nuts.) felt his eyes fighting to open so he could start rebooting and ask these questions himself, but there was a strange, numb flaring with his slightest movement. Even existing felt painful and oddly…musical. 

“He wears his old costume! The living one!”

“The symbiote?” Twilight gasped and it felt like someone had lowered him a cord made of the worst sound he’d ever heard. He began to climb it, desperate to get rid of the panic in her voice. “Baroque Edifice! What did that monster do?!” 

“He’s gotten it into his head that he needs to…replace Pete or something, I don’t know. The guy has an actual voice in his head!” 

“He’s a hero now?!” 

“No,” Johnnycake’s voice said as vehemently as Peter himself would have. The gratitude buoyed him up through the fog. “Poison Pony’s started going after the Demons because they’re the new big noise in town and he thinks it’ll help prove something.”

He sighed, making Peter’s world shudder slightly. “I’m sorry, Twilight. That thing’s vulnerable to heat, I should’ve tired harder. I was only even in the area because I was following Crimson for something to do.”

“No, it’s okay Johnny.” He could hear her smile and began climbing harder, faster to see it again. “I know you did everything you could.” 

“If I had then this wouldn’t have…” Johnny sighed again. “Though in a weird way, I guess it’s Mr. Leaf’s fault? I mean, a piano emporium’s one thing but you’d think they’d be secured better! There’s codes!”

“Pianos?” Twilight was swimming into his vision now, her head turning on and off. No, no, she was blinking. “That’s what those were in The Bugle? But surely Peter’s spider-sense…oooh.”

“Right.” Johnny had an apologetic smile on behalf of either Peter or the universe. “Symbiote doesn’t set it off.” 

“So…are…are you saying…?”

“Yeah.” Johnny came into focus as he nodded. “Poison Pony dropped a bunch of pianos on him.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Peter said, sitting upright in bed, consciousness restored from sheer indignation. And stifling a scream from just how many bandages he’d just pulled against.


To be Continued