“… So I thought to myself; if it’s a catwalk, then surely that discriminates against fashion conscious dogs, so I snapped my fingers like this and … oh!”
Discord stopped in the middle of yet another anecdote, turning his head and lifting his 3D glasses up onto his forehead to see what had come through the portal.
The party of three was settled comfortably in plastic garden furniture seats around a circular plastic table with an umbrella extended above them. The day had given way to a sultry evening and a troupe of performing fireflies was recreating the greatest moments from early Busby Berkeley musicals, but had frozen in mid display when the plinth crackled, heralding some strange magical event. The Principal and Vice-Principal sat open-mouthed as two balloon animals floated out, one lilac and the other orange.
“Discord!” commanded Celestia.
“I know, I know …” he grumbled as he snapped his fingers and their two visitors materialised in the air before a giant bowl of marshmallows broke their fall with a soggy splat.
“Discord!” shouted Twilight, “We’re all covered in something sticky …”
“A thank you would have done perfectly well” he said huffily, snapping his fingers once more, “It was either that or a tank of performing otters.”
“Oh, how sweet!” cooed Luna, ”I would have liked to see that.”
“Maybe next time” he retorted, still miffed at not receiving the thanks he felt he was due.
“Welcome back Sunset Shimmer, and thank you for coming, Princess Twilight” greeted Celestia, ”I’m sorry for your reception, but we didn’t want to take any chances and unfortunately you tripped our defences.”
“They’re pretty good too” agreed Twilight, and Discord allowed himself a little smirk in recognition of her praise. In response he conjured up a throne for her and a car seat for Sunset, while he chose a chaise longue for himself.
“Oh, thanks Discord, but there’s really no need …” Twilight protested.
“Au contraire, ma Princesse” he flattered, levitating her onto its elevated seat.
“Uh … what’s this Discord?” asked Sunset, making herself surprisingly comfortable.
“You mean you don’t recognise it?” he sounded affronted, “Why it’s the passenger seat from your young admirer’s car. From what it’s told me, I believe you have become most familiar with it. Trust me, it’s got a few stories to tell …”
Sunset squirmed uncomfortably, blushing brightly at the reference and Twilight quickly jumped in to take the heat off her.
“So … magical problems … portal leaking magic” she started awkwardly.
“Do go on; I’m all ears” said Discord, suddenly sprouting ears all over his face and hands.
“Ewww! Gross …” cringed Sunset, pulling back in revulsion.
Completely ignoring her friend’s distracting stunts, Twilight briefed them all on what she had pieced together; “Well, it seems it may have something to do with the Grand Galloping Gala, you know the last one where you invited the Smooze? Right, I know this may sound a little crazy, but when Princess Celestia and I tried to stop him with our magic, it had no effect. Now, as magic is neither created nor destroyed but drawn in from around us, that means there was a lot of Princess level magic absorbed by your friend. Now, when he returned to normal there was no trace of it, so I’m guessing that it somehow got absorbed by the castle, right around the place where the Crystal Mirror used to be, and is now interfering with the portal’s operation.”
“So you’re saying that the Smoozinator somehow absorbed your magic and released it as something different?” mused Discord, “How very clever of him.”
“Clever or not, I can’t help thinking that he’s in some way at the root of the problem. Just tell me one thing Discord – were you in Canterlot Castle when you were brought here, and did you just happen to be casting a spell at the time?”
“If I was, which I am not admitting to, you understand, but if I was, then that doesn’t mean you can judge me, alright?”
“Whatever mischief you were up to can wait for later, but at least you have got us one step closer to confirming my hypothesis; thank you. Now what do you know about the Smooze?”
“Oh, he’s a truly wonderful character; tells great knock knock jokes. He’s especially fond of going fishing, but would melt if he got anywhere near the water, so I have to wear him in a little glass jar around my neck. We’ve never caught anything yet; I shouldn’t have the first clue what to do if we did …”
“So, he’s scared of water; a little obvious, but I missed it. Oh, silly me, it’s all coming together…”
“It is?” queried Discord.
“Why was the castle built where it was? Sunset? Discord?”
Blank looks were her sharp response.
“OK, let’s look at it another way then - what’s the most obvious feature?”
“The views?” ventured Sunset.
“The waterfall?” suggested Discord.
“Getting warmer …”
“The lake?” said Sunset, growing more confident under Twilight’s encouragement.
“Yes; it was built there so it not only had good views and was a naturally fortified position, but it has a ready fresh water supply, and a branch that runs right under the castle, you know, so if you’re being besieged, you’ve still got a limitless supply of fresh water. So when the Smooze grew into a mini flood of his own, he ran the risk of bits of him spilling into the water …”
“And being dissolved?” observed Discord.
“Right. So when Celestia and I blasted him, his own natural defence mechanisms would have kicked in and drawn in the magic to protect him from the water that he could sense was close by. Then, when he returned to normal, the magic was left behind, but still trying to draw in more to protect itself, and somehow it must have got mixed up with the portal’s magic, because that’s pretty powerful too and it’s all in the same place.”
“So, once it’s drawn in as much as it can handle, it spills out through the portal …?” mused Discord.
“Bingo!” exclaimed Twilight triumphantly.
“I don’t know about you Luna” admitted Celestia, “But I got lost part way through that.”
“Agreed Sister, but she does tell it with such conviction. I should like to visit Equestria and see this wonderous land for myself someday.”
“So Discord, d’you feel up to going back to Equestria and to help sort this out?” asked Twilight.
“Well, I could, but who would protect this world from nasty things coming through the portal while I’m away?”
“I’ll stay” replied Twilight, “You and Sunset go back together and tell Princess Celestia and Princess Luna what’s happened. They’ll need you if they’re going to find the Smooze and talk with him.”
“The two reformed villains travelling together” observed Sunset with a wry smile, “You sure ‘bout this?”
“I trust you two with my life. Now if you’re quick you’ll be able to catch both the Royal Sisters before Princess Celestia retires for the night.”
“Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow” he soliloquised, blowing kisses towards the Principal and Vice-Principal, “Don’t forget to write …”
The three of them stood up to wave off their friends and the instant Discord had entered the portal, the plastic garden furniture along with the eclectic mix of chairs all vanished as his magic disappeared with him.
“Oh, I rather liked that seat” lamented Luna.
“Princess Twilight” asked Celestia, “I don’t suppose you could just magic up some more seats would you?”
“No. It’s not what my magic’s for, but I will help carry some out from the school if you want.”