Doubts

by Howzdozit


Conversation

    Trixie’s ear twitched as she heard a thump on her door. She lazily crept one eye open, wary not to look at her window. There was another thump, and Trixie slowly stirred towards the door, unaware of the blanket wrapped around her legs. She lazily wobbled towards the door and her mind woke up immediately as she opened it.

    “Hey Trix! What’s with the..,” Starlight’s voice trailed off as Trixie tripped down the steps of her wagon. Instinctively, Starlight shot her hoof from her side to catch the unicorn from plummeting face first onto a rock. Apparently, she had overestimated the gap between them as Trixie slammed into Starlight’s upper foreleg, knocking them both down. Starlight felt a pain at the back of her head, but ignored it as she checked her friend’s coat for any cuts or bruises.

    Meanwhile, Trixie just leaned there, unable to comprehend what had just happened. As she got some sense back, she noticed that she was draped over the wincing unicorn. She quickly jumped off her friend and looked over her for any injuries. Starlight started to get up right as her head started swelling up really badly. She flinched in pain when she tried to touch her head.

    Guild passed over Trixie’s face, as she started to panic. “Oh, Starlight! I’m so sorry! Here, I have some ice!” She reached over inside her wagon and pulled out an ice pack, resting it on her friend’s head. Starlight looked like she was about to say something, right as she spontaneously passed out. Both from lack of sleep, and the pain in her head.
  
    Trixie started to breathe heavily at the sight in front of her. “Oh great! Great!” She stopped panicking just long enough to see the look of discomfort in her friend’s face. Trixie opened the door of her wagon wide open and carried Starlight in. She looked exhausted. Trixie frowned as she lay her friend on her side. She tried to think of ways to keep the ice bag on her head, but nothing seemed to work.

    Sighing, she grabbed a coffee and pressed the ice pack against the passed out mare next to her with her magic. She took this chance to really get a good look at her friend. Starlight’s face calmed and she soon seemed to see as if she was sleeping. It was then that Trixie noticed the time. Her clock read 6:13. She remembered getting to the castle at about two-in-the-morning to drop her off. She frowned and continued at her coffee, trying to take in what had just occurred.

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    Starlight felt a slight pain in the back of her head, but it was milder than when she remembered last. Confused, she opened her eyes to look around her. She was inside Trixie’s wagon, she knew that. She also knew she was at a corner where she could see everywhere in the small space, but she couldn’t find her friend. She shifted her head, only to notice the ice pack stayed in place, then went back to her head. Starlight tilted her head up to see a very worn out looking Trixie, her horn starting to give out.

    Concerned, Starlight sat up and patted Trixie’s shoulder. Trixie flinched slightly at the touch, then turned over to her friend. “Hey there,” she yawned, “You doing any better?” Starlight pulled her gaze up to Trixie’s horn and she gave it a light tap with her hoof, causing it to give out. Frantically, Trixie tried to relight it, slight sparks flying out of it. She started breathing rapidly, and Starlight spoke up.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I just didn’t want you to wear yourself out, that’s all. I’m sorry,” Starlight frowned in disappointment as she looked away. “Well, great job. Ya managed to get the chances of her liking you even lower!” Starlight felt a bit of dampness well up in her eye, but she forced it down.

    Trixie glanced at Starlight as she sat facing away from her. She placed a comforting hoof on her back and said warmly, “It’s fine. You’re probably right. I just wanted to make sure you were fine.” Starlight looked back at her, a questioning look on her face. “Fine? What do you mean? I only got knocked out for a few minutes, right?” Starlight asked, glancing at a clock. Her eyes widened as she noticed the time. 8:30

“Oh! Trixie! I’m sorry for getting you up so early! I-I was just kinda bored and… Trix?” Starlight stopped speaking as Trixie leaned near Starlight as she fell asleep. She felt her face heat up and her heart beating faster. She also felt herself become calm. Almost enough that she could drift off to sleep… 
    
   And that’s exactly what she did.

   The sight was quite peaceful. Starlight was leaned back on the couch, a flock of blue and silver mane nestled into her neck, right underneath her head. Both of the young ponies were asleep, and both were rightfully tired. About an hour passed, some slight shifting here and there, but not much movement. A soft hued eye was the first to open. She looked around, immediately noticing the warm body curled up over her. She felt warmth and comfort, and also pride. Trixie was prideful that her best friend trusted her. The calm was shortly interrupted by her stomach, quickly noticing she was past due for lunch. She carefully nuzzled out from under the unicorn’s embrace, careful to replace her head with a pillow. She was trying to get Starlight to not notice.

    She noticed. Slowly, her eye drifted around the tiny wagon and landed on a small blue mare, rummaging through a worn out box. “Trix, what’re you doing?” She asked sleepily. Trixie kept rummaging, occasionally picking things out.

“Trixie would like some lunch,” she said, as she grabbed a pack of bits. Starlight rolled out from the couch and walked towards the door, opening it and urging her friend out. Friend. That word stung. It implied that they had a strong bond, but nothing special. Starlight looked down at the ground on their way through crowds.

    Trixie noticed this and frowned. Until she remembered. Her promise to herself. Slowing down slightly, she leaned a bit closer to her face. “Hey, are you alright? You seem a bit off lately.”

Starlight gave a weak smile and an unconvincing, “Mhm!” as she kept walking. She didn’t lean away from Trixie.

“Please don’t lie to me. Tell me what’s wrong,” Trixie asked. She had a deeply concerned look on her face. Starlight didn’t wanna come out with her feelings, but she still couldn’t lie to her. So she stretched the truth.

“It’ll probably take a while to explain it. Sit down,” she motioned to a bench and sat.

    “Oh my.. so I had just gotten back from our tour, which I loved by the way, and.. met up with somepony,” Starlight was trembling. She wasn't a good story teller. “So we, ya know, just did normal friend stuff,” There was the word again, “A-and I realized I sorta.. liked this pony.” Trixie felt an emotional stab, but continued on listening like the friend she needed to be.

    “Uh… a few days passed and we were at your show, which was fun, until I caught a - uh.. glimpse of that certain pony. They were cheering, just like everypony else, until I heard them say a uh- particular phrase.” Tears were welling up in her eyes. She hated lying to Trixie, but knew it was too soon to ask her out. She didn’t want to lose her best friend.

    Trixie thought the crying was because of the events that happened. She stared at the pink unicorn, as if asking to finish her story. Starlight gulped, “They uh.. said… uhm… to the pony next to them, who I presumed was with him.. Uh.. ‘Hey babe, look! I’m friends with her! Remember! Look, if you’re friends with her maybe you’ll get famous!’ which really hurt because… friends…. And-” Starlight stopped being able to speak right as she began to cry her feelings out. Without thinking, Trixie wrapped her hooves as hard as she could around Starlight, who just sniffled into her mane.

“Well, Trixie is hurt because Starlight is hurt, and therefull must cheer her up!” Starlight didn’t move.

    She wasn’t only crying because of her situation. Most of her tears were made from guilt of lying to this pony she learned to care for. She leaned into Trixie to try and return the kind gesture, but Trixie just pushed her back down. “Relax, Starlight. Just relax. Clearly, that pony doesn't deserve you. In fact, unless they are higher than the creator of all magic to exist, nopony deserves you. You’re an amazing friend,” Trixie pulled away to look into her friend’s deep eyes, “And anypony would be lucky to have you, whether you’ve saved Equestria or not. Just remember that.”

    That seemed to cheer Starlight up, other than one phrase. “You’re an amazing friend.” That lingered in her head. She just nodded slowly, only to be embraced in a fuzzy blue coat. She returned the hug, finally wiping the tears from her eyes. “That’s more I like it. Now, didn’t Trixie say she was going to have lunch,” Trixie stated. Starlight giggled at the remark. “Okay, now that’s adorable,” Trixie thought. She smiled and got up, pulling Starlight along with her.

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    That day had been amazing. Starlight and Trixie ran around Ponyville just messing around. Starlight’s favorite part was that picnic. She snickered at her friends struggle to put together a kite. Eventually, it worked, and they both enjoyed the combination of kites, the wind, dinner, sunset, and each other. They had decided to go to a fair-theme-park-thing in two days, giving each other time to rest.

    Starlight was standing at the train station, wishing Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, and the CMC’s off for their annual sisters camping trip. After the train left, they started walking back towards the castle. 

  Twilight spoke up, “Hey, Starlight! You were out all day yesterday, what happened?”

Starlight perked up, “Oh! I was with Trixie.” Starlight smiled gently. Twilight returned the grin. “Oh! Didn’t we have a friendship lesson today?” Starlight asked.

Twilight replied, “Right! This lesson’s all about trust. Being able to trust your friends with secrets.” Starlight didn’t like where this was going.

“What’s the exercise?” She asked warily.

“You’ll see.” She winked at her. That meant something bad.

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    It turned out, the exercise was harder then she ever thought it could be. She had to tell one of her friends one of her deepest, darkest secrets. She, of course picked Twilight. The thing about Twilight. She was really hard to lie to. She had experience with some of the best liars, and could still call their bluff.

    And that’s why Starlight regretted her decision. She took a deep breath and decided it would probably be best to get this off her chest. “Well? C’mon! You know I’ll never judge you, right?” Twilight insisted.

Shakily, Starlight replied with a quiet, yet easily understandable, “I like Trixie.” 

    Twilight sat staring for a few seconds, before shaking her head and smirking. “I know,” she said.

Starlight shot up. “What?! How?!” Starlight started having trouble breathing.

Twilight giggled. “Well, it’s kinda obvious, isn’t it? You’re always so close to her, I’d be more surprised if you said you hadn’t felt that way towards her.” Starlight felt a huge weight being lifted off her back.

“It’s that obvious, huh.”
  
    Twilight nodded. “You know, it probably wouldn’t hurt to tell her.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Whaddya mean?” Starlight asked. Twilight got up to go to a library.

“Well, there’s tons of books on the subject, and those tell you to do things. You know, flirting, touch, stuff like that. But from what ponies tell me, it’s better just to tell them. Maybe not the second you start liking them, but make sure it’s before you become a uh…” Twilight tried to find words to say, “Hopeless romantic.”

   When they got to the library, Twilight pulled out an empty notebook. “What’s that?” Starlight wondered.

Twilight gave a smile and answered, “It’s a journal! I want you to write one thing you like about her everyday, and then give her it.”

Starlight sat there, shocked. “Wait- what? Give it to her?”

Twilight chuckled. “Trust me. It works.”

Starlight got up to leave, and a thought crossed her mind. “Uh.. how do you know all this?”

    Twilight’s face became red. “Well, uh… I just do! Mhm.. uh.. Imgonnagoworkonstuffgoodluck!” And with that, she ran out the door.