//------------------------------// // Reunions and Reprisals // Story: Night Clerk Whooves // by No one is home //------------------------------// “Bollocks!  And he’s got some random filly with him,” The Doctor rolled his eyes as he observed drily, as the Night Clerk and his assistant stepped out of the dump truck,  “Because, of course he does.” “Is your step brother some kind of weirdo fillyphile?” Derpy narrowed her eyes.  “Because I have a daughter to think about.” “No, no!” The doctor pressed his hoof against the bridge of his snout.  “It’s nothing like that. He picks up random refugees from space time and drags them around like some kind of side kick on his zany adventures.  It’s sad really.” Rose and Ditzy shared and annoyed glance, before Rose spoke up, “Aside from introducing pots to kettles and being mildly insulted… she still seems kinda young to be a companion.” “Hi, I’m Missy and I’m totally eighteen!” The teal filly said with a wave and a smile. “Seems perfectly legit to me,  are you a travelling sales mare,” Ditzy replied with a smile. “Really Night Clerk?”  The Doctor scowled. “Psychic Name Tags?  You know psychic paper is far more versatile.” “If you want to keep shoving paper in ponies faces all day, sure.”  The Night Clerk snapped back. “Name tag, ’Hello, call me this, I’m supposed to be here’.  Simple, to the point, and you won’t have to repeatedly show it off. The Psychic Name Tag is a superior product!” “So, uh Missy, huh?” Roseluck asked skeptically. “And I am 18 years old!” The filly smiled brightly. “Yeah,” the flower pony rolled her eyes, “I’m not buying it.” “I told you, don’t claim a specific age!” The Night Clerk hissed.  “The name tag only has a fairly narrow functionality.” He spun quickly on the smirking doctor.  “In which it functions EXCELLENTLY!” “Yes, well, aside from your dreadful tastes in technology, introductions are in order.” The Doctor sighed.  “Night Clerk, these charming young mares are my traveling companions, RoseLuck and Ditzy Doo. Ladies, This is my step brother the Night Clerk, and it seems like you already met Miss… Missy.” “Yeah, you know what makes introductions easier?” The Night Clerk grinned widely.   “Name tags.” -=-=-=-=- Well, that’s bollocks.  My step brother already has two companions.  And they’re both mares. Now if he takes Missy it’ll look like he’s building an oddly specific harem.   Two minutes in and the whole plan is shot all to tartarus. “So…” The grey one gives me  the most oddly specific pointed look.  And no, not because it’s pointed in two different directions. “Why exactly are you travelling through space and time with an underage filly, Mr. Night Clerk?” Great, and now my step brother’s companion thinks I’m some kind of weirdo.  “Look, I know how it looks, but I couldn’t just leave her stranded in an atomic wasteland.  I mean she had already been pressed into one raider gang. And to be fair to me, I thought she was older than that when she was trying to rob me.” Honesty is always the best policy. “Trying to rob you???”  Rose pony seems more distraught by this than I would have expected. In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s hyperventilating right now… “Pressed into a gang?”  Grey pony gasps in appropriate horror.  “You poor thing.” “If you try to hug me I will break you legs.”  The filly’s got spunk, I’ll give her that. “Wait… so you rescued an orphan from a life of crime?” Is that actual pride I see in my step brother’s cold brown eyes? “I’m not an orphan.”  And thank you for ruining the moment, Missy. “In my defense… it’s safe to say she had terrible parents.”  Grey pony is now giving me and a random pony walking down the street a full on stink eye.  “I mean… okay, so I forgot to ask a few questions before I gave her a ride to a nicer universe… like her age… and if she had parents…” “And my name!” Missy continues to make me doubt the wisdom of recent decisions.  “You totally never got around to asking my name until you gave me the name tag.” “Look, I know how it looks!” Nightmare in the moon, do I know how this looks. “That’s why brought her here first off.  I mean, Doctor, you’re like the most respected time lord in… basically everywhere! I mean, I figured maybe you could help the poor filly find some kind of moral compass.” “While I appreciate the sentiment, you can’t just leave her here with me.”  And thank you for pointing out the problem. “I know, you’ve already got two mares hanging around you all the time, if we take in a filly ponies might think you’re building an oddly specific harem.”  At least rose pony gets it. “What? No! I mean you have to take her back!”  Of course he’d say that. “You can’t just bring a pony from one period of time and drop them off in another.  It makes the whole timeline all wibbly wobbly!” “It’s okay.”  And the filly who can’t shut up, still can’t shut up.  “I’m not from this timeline. Diane explained the whole thing to me on the ride over here.” “Okay, I know what you're gonna say…”  I really do. “You’ve been going to alternate timelines!  Are you insane?” And I was right. “You know the multiverse was thrown into flux in the time war!” “”Look, it’s a lot safer lately since that weird space-time… thingy… split the mainline timestream” I very rationally don’t yell in his face. “Space time thingy? Really?” I’m 100% sure I will NEVER get tired of Missy’s adorable snark. “To be fair, he didn’t learn actually technical terminology like ‘wibbly wobbly’ in medical school, like the doctor.”  I honestly can’t tell which one of us grey pony just burned… “Look I’m trying to make a point here!”  Really, I’m trying very hard. “The point is it’s not that bad traveling between parallel universes anymore.  Just keep it to the probability axis, and you’ll be fine… probably… assuming you didn’t steal your tardis from a museum…” “I hardly think breaking the laws of space and time slightly more than usual is the problem here!  This filly…” Yeah grey pony’s not letting this go. “NO!” The Doctor proclaims like he just loves to proclaim things. “Ditzy, escort Missy to the TARDIS!  We are going to an alternate reality!”