Well, you know the drill by now: I tried to ask out Diane Heart, my sisters and friends tried to help, and everything backfired in my face. Got it? Good.
On the next day after the bust with Trixie’s advice, I decided to head to the park and enjoy the sunshine. Yep, I borrowed a page from Diane’s playbook.
Now in the park, I sat on a bench, and it was the same one Diane liked using. Some colts and fillies played “catch” with a red ball while giggling near a water fountain twenty feet in front of me. I'll admit that their laugher cheered me up a little.
Before I could close my eyes to relax, a semi-familiar voice called out, "Wow, Eric. Something must be wrong if you’re here in the park by yourself."
"Yeah, this has been an awful week," I answered while glancing to where the voice came from, and turned back around to where I originally faced. But then who I saw registered in my head.
My eyes widened, and I spun around to the Unicorn standing there. She wore a gold coat. She had a red and yellow-striped mane which gave it a "bacon-like" appearance. I shook my head and even rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things.
“Well, out of all the reactions I got when someone saw me, yours might be the most interesting.”
Nope, I saw right: she really was Sunset Shimmer!
But before I could ask why she was in Equestria or even say anything that wasn’t stutters, Sunset said, "You look like you never saw a Unicorn before. What’s wrong?"
I gave my face a light slap to snap myself out of my little starstruck state. "S-Sorry, Sunset, but you practically never come to Equestria. What are you doing here?"
"What? You don't want to see me?"
Shaking my head harder than before, I stuttered, "N-N-No! It's n-not like that! It's just--"
As I kept stuttering, Sunset giggled. "Relax, Eric, I'm only teasing. But yeah, I’m just visiting Equestria."
"Oh, you’re here visiting? It’s good to see you in person, instead of only talking to you in our journals."
“Same here, Eric.”
Guess I have some explaining to do. Four months ago, when near her wits' end to help me get through a severe bout of homesickness, Twilight went to the "other" human world and explained to Sunset about my...situation. Twi asked if Sunset and the other girls could talk to me in a new journal she made and brought with her, since it was the closest I could get to interacting with other humans. She hoped it might help cure my homesickness.
And it worked. Since then, I sometimes “talk” to the “Human Seven” (or whatever) with the journal Twilight created for me that’s magically linked to theirs. Sunset told me she holds on to the one they use when the other six aren’t writing in it, as she does with the journal she talks with Princess Twilight with.
"Anyway, I'd like to talk to you for a bit, but I...wait." I placed a hand on my chin to think, because something wasn’t right here. If Sunset Shimmer really came to Equestria to just visit, that’s a H-U-G-E deal, so she would have already told me in our journal that she was coming, or Twilight and/or Starlight would have told me. If she came to Equestria as a surprise, she wouldn't have talked about visiting so nonchalantly. I took my hand off my chin, and with Sunset looking confused, I gave her a suspicious stare. “Hold on a second.”
"What's wrong?"
"Sunset, you never come to Equestria to 'visit' and only show up if something’s wrong.”
“R-Really? I n-never came to j-just visit?” Sunset stuttered and further proved she came for another reason. I found it quite amusing that I turned the tables and had her flustered, but I didn’t show it.
“Yeah, really, because Twilight told me you never visited on your own. And you're in too good a mood for something to be wrong in ‘your’ world, so who was it?"
"Who's what?"
"Who asked you to come to Equestria and talk to me? Twilight or Starlight?"
"N-No one, and I just wanted to visit. Why would I need another reason?"
Nope. I wasn’t buying that answer from "Sunshim" and raised an eyebrow.
After grinning nervously, Sunset sighed and admitted, "Fine. Starlight went through the portal to get me, but don’t tell her that I told you."
When Sunset told me it was Starlight who got her, I forced myself to not think about how Starie, my Equestrian big sister, looked in human form.
Why? Because Starlight Glimmer was smoking hot in those ripped jeans and pink beanie!
"I won’t tell, and I guess Starie still felt bad about the bust she caused. So how much did she tell you?"
"Starlight didn’t say too much, but I got the gist of it.”
Despite the...obvious limited ability to get to know her personally, but from both our writing to each other and watching the "Equestria Girls" series, I knew I could trust Sunset Shimmer. Thus, I told her everything about my nine still-epic failures.
"Oof, that doesn't sound like a good time," Sunset said with a hoof on her cheek. I wondered if it felt weird to her, since she’s used to having hands instead of hooves.
"And that’s an understatement! But I don't want to talk about it anymore."
"I don't blame you, and if I knew this was going on, I would have come earlier to--"
Yep, even Sunset’s getting into the act! My eyes got huge -- which happened a lot this past week -- and I shouted, "Oh, no, no, no, and no! And did I say ‘no’? Sunset Shimmer, no offense, but I don't want to hear what you cooked up, because I am done asking out Diane! As in, d-o-n, done!"
"Uh, you mean, 'd-o-n-e'."
Realizing that I misspelled such an easy word, I growled and facepalmed. "Y-You see how upset I am to leave out the 'e' in ‘done’?"
"I know, but please, just hear me out! I have an idea that's proven to work!"
I nearly said that I wasn’t interested, but hearing Sunset’s idea was “proven” to work drew my attention. "Wait, 'proven'? As in it worked for somepony, er, I mean, someone?"
"You might be the first human to say ‘somepony’ out of habit. But as for my idea: I helped the Twilight in ‘my’ human world ask out someone with it."
"R-Really? And Sci-Twi went on a date? She didn’t mention anything about a date the last time she talked to me in the journal."
"It happened after the last time you ‘talked’.” Sunset’s face formed a confused frown. “Wait, ‘Sci-Twi'?"
"Oh, yeah, I never told you, or her for that matter, that ‘Sci-Twi’ is a nickname many in my world liked calling that version of Twilight. I know she's not the same as Princess Twilight, but still, I can't believe a Twilight Sparkle went on a date! But please don't tell Sci-Twi I said that last part.”
“I won't, but enough about the Twilights; I come to help you ask out Diane Heart."
"And your idea's 'proven' to work, right?"
Sunset nodded her head.
I put a hand on my chin again, struggling to figure out if I should try Sunset’s plan. "Well...wait, I think Diane’s still mad at me, so what do we do about that?”
"If she’s still mad, I’ll take care of it."
“Well…” In my head, I went back and forth on what to do. I had a ton of bad luck this week. And yet, Sunset claimed her idea worked for Sci-Twi; something none of the others did. "And you’re sure this won’t backfire, because my heart can't take another bust! If you’re really my friend--"
"Don't worry. I wouldn’t offer to help with an idea that might go wrong."
After another three seconds, I gave a deep sigh. "Okay, Sunset. If you're that sure, I'll trust you and try your idea. So I suppose this is the part where we track down Diane?"
"Yep."
Sunset and I left the park and looked for Diane. I didn’t know where Diane was, and Sunset sure had no idea, so we needed to search for her.
Nearing Sugarcube Corner, Sunset and I spotted Diane in front of its door. Guess she broke her three-day cycle of going, since it's only been two days since the last time she was at Sugarcube Corner; during the Pinkie Pie bust. It reminded me of the first time I attempted to ask her out with Spike, and like back then, she seemed to be waiting for something. Sunset did her best to assure me that her idea wouldn't end in a tenth bust as we combed Ponyville, but I still had to fight my paranoia that it might. In fact, I fought so hard, I forgot to ask Sunset what her idea was.
"Okay, that mare’s Diane, right?"
"Yep. So what am I going to do this time? Dance? Crack jokes?"
"You're going to do nothing."
It took a second for what Sunset said to process in my brain, then I rubbed my head. "H-Huh?"
"Just follow me."
I had no idea what Sunset was thinking, but I followed her as she trotted to Diane.
Once we got to Diane, Sunset asked, "Hey, you're 'Diane Heart', right?"
"Yes, I am. And, Eric, about the other day, I'm sorry I got mad at you. It really wasn’t your fault."
Boy, did I feel a big wave of relief knowing Diane wasn’t mad at me anymore! “Oh, it’s all right, Diane, and I can understand--”
Sunset interrupted, "But before we get any further, Diane, first, my name’s Sunset Shimmer. And” -- Sunset pulled me to her with a foreleg -- ”my friend Eric has been trying to ask you out, but something always went wrong."
My eyes understandably became huge here! In a hushed voice, I asked, "S-Sunset? What are you doing?"
Sunset leaned her head to me and whispered, "I'm asking her out for you."
I figured Sunset meant that she asked out someone for Sci-Twi. Somehow, that made so much sense! Guess Sunset Shimmer's "advice" -- if I can even call it that -- is "When dating advice doesn't work for your friends, take care of it for them".
But before I could respond, Diane confessed, "Oh, I know."
Yep, that was something neither Sunset or myself expected Diane Heart to say! Sunset and I stared at each other with our mouths open. Thought after thought flooded through my brain, but I was unable to focus on any of them. I would guess it happened in Sunset’s brain too, but I don’t know for sure: she’s the mind-reader, not me.
After a couple of seconds, we turned to Diane, and at the same time, Sunset and I asked, "You do?"
With a giggle, Diane answered, "Oh, yes. Well, I didn't at first, but I figured it out a few days ago."
"H-H-How?" Sunset asked. Though I was about to ask that question.
"You see, my special talent is sensing others' romantic feelings."
That would explain Diane Heart's three hearts as her Cutie Mark, so it didn’t just fit her name. In fact, a number of ponies have a connection between their names and their Cutie Marks. The small white stars on Twilight Sparkle’s Cutie Mark look like sparkles unless you look at it closely. Rainbow Dash’s has a rainbow on hers. Applejack’s is three apples.
Before I could do it, Sunset beat me to the punch again and asked, "So, if you knew about his crush, why didn't you let Eric know?"
"Well, at first I wasn't sure because I didn't know how humans with crushes act. But it was soon after he gave me a gift when I knew for sure.” In a more apologetic voice, Diane added, “And, Eric, I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about it, because that wasn’t my intention."
Before I could tell Diane it was okay, Sunset, who took over at this point and wasn't letting me say a thing, questioned, "Okay. But if I'm right, that happened during the sixth time Eric tried to ask you out, so why didn't you tell him when you saw him later?"
"Well, I tried to at Pinkie's party, but Pinkie...interrupted us. I was in too much of a hurry for some hard-to-find berries the next time we saw each other, and I didn't think he would feel like talking after his...magic act."
"Okay! Well, since you know, what do you think about going on a date with Eric? I'll vouch for him and say he's a great guy."
"Oh. Well, I'm flattered, but..."
Yep, I knew what Diane was about to say next. However, I didn’t think it was easy for her either, so before Sunset said it for me, I interrupted, "You don't feel the same way about me?"
With a frown, Diane answered, "No, and I'm sorry. It's nothing personal, I promise!"
I thought I might have felt down, but didn’t. Maybe deep down I knew Diane didn’t feel the same way about me. Or the pain of the nine busts felt so bad, it numbed the pain here. "Oh, well, it's okay, Diane. You can't help it if you don't."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Diane sighed, smiled, and of course she gave a cute smile. "Well, that's great, and we can be friends, if you like."
"I would, and sorry for all the trouble."
"It's all right, and I'll see you later, Eric."
I waved my hand to say good-bye and walked off, and Sunset walked beside me with a frown of concern.
"You sure you're all right, Eric? Princess Twilight told me how you sometimes hide it when you’re hurting about something, so she or others won’t worry about you."
"Yep. After all the busts, I actually don’t feel too bad, so I promise I'm good."
Sunset wiped her forehead. "Whew! I'm glad, and I'm sure Twilight and Starlight will be happy you're all right."
"And later I'll--oh!"
"What?"
I remembered that, even before Sunset “found” me in the park, I was planning to later pick up some cupcakes for the next time I read with Twilight, flew kites with Starlight, or solved jigsaw puzzles with both of them. “I forgot I need to buy some cupcakes at Sugarcube Corner, so I’m gonna get some now.”
I ran back to Sugarcube Corner, and as I walked through the door, I spotted Diane talking with another mare, a light-green Pegasus. They faced the other way, so they didn’t see me, and I backed out of the bakery. But, I stayed near the door. I know it’s not right to eavesdrop, but hearing my name mentioned made me unable to resist.
"So, Diane, I saw Eric just tried to ask you out."
"Yes, he did. But I turned him down.”
“Why? Because he’s a human?”
“No, it’s not that. He's sweet, but...he looks too weird."
"Oh, yeah, I guess he does. Still, all of Ponyville’s used to it."
"Well, I guess I will be too. But it's just too weird to date somepony or whatever who looks so odd."
Well, that pierced my heart. It brought back painful memories of being picked on in second grade for “looking weird”, when I was still healing from serious burns I suffered from a firecracker. It seemed to be a dud because it didn’t fire off like the thing should have, but when I picked it up when no one was looking, it ignited and...yeah. Not fun. Then the bullying afterward was just overkill. So Diane not going out with me because I looked weird felt like second grade all over again.
Seeing me walk out of Sugarcube Corner with my head down, Sunset knew something wasn’t right and ran to me, and I explained to her what happened. I already told her about the great firecracker burning, so she immediately knew I was hit hard and gasped.
Trying to perform damage control, Sunset stuttered, "W-Well, Eric, I-I'm sure she didn't mean that. M-Maybe--"
"No, I heard right.” I shook my head hard and tried to force a smile. “But, uh, it's all right!"
"It is?"
Still trying to put on a brave face so Sunset wouldn’t feel bad or guilty, but fighting back tears, I lied, "Yeah! It's not that I didn't still feel out-of-place in Equestria sometimes and thought ponies didn't think I looked weird anymore or anything. Or that I wouldn’t be reminded about the firecracker thing, but I'm fiiiine."
If I left out the “firecracker” part, Sunset might have bought my pathetic lie. She, of course, didn’t, and gently rested a hoof on my back with a big ‘ol sympathetic frown. "Eric, I'm sorry. If I knew that would happen, I--"
Still forcing a smile, I gave a friendly pat on Sunset’s side, which made her take her hoof off me. "Don't worry, Sunset. Like I said, it's all right. But, uh, I gotta head to the castle, so I’ll talk to you later!"
With Sunset trying to call me back, I sped off to the castle with my fists clenched; I had moping to do in my room. To be honest, I was in bad need of a hug and wanted to start the waterworks with Sunset. But, if I did, she would have thought what happened was her fault, and I didn’t want that. Even though she felt that way anyway.
About a half-hour later in my bedroom, I lay on my bed in my bedroom. The waterworks already happened but stopped at this point, but I was still in a depressed state and just stared pointlessly at the ceiling. It was surprising that I was still affected emotionally that much about the firework mishap, but guess I wasn’t as over it as I thought. Safe to say I paid a price for eavesdropping.
But then, three knocks came from my bedroom door. A voice full of sympathy that I knew belonged to a certain purple Alicorn asked, "Hey, Buggie? I heard from Sunset about what happened. She asked me to tell you again that she's so sorry for getting you to ask out Diane just for that to happen, and she'll make up for it someday. Are you all right, little bro?"
Couldn't say I was surprised, but I figured Sunset felt too awful to tell me herself, and thought it might be better for Twilight to tell me. I wrote a mental note to tell her it was okay the next time we talked in our journal.
I turned my head to my door. Wanting to pretend I was fine, I cleared my throat and lied, "Yeah, Twi, I am…” I gave up on trying to fake it, and in a sadder voice admitted, “Oh, who am I kidding? No, I'm not! Being rejected because I’m not a pony I could deal with. But getting rejected for looking ‘weird’ is like the ‘firecracker’ thing all over again!"
Don't know why I was surprised, but Twilight was far from alone outside the door. Another voice, who I could tell belonged to Ms. Honest Horse, said, "Well, maybe Diane thinks ya look ‘weird’, but we don't!"
"But please let us in, because we want to talk to you."
"I'm really not in the mood for talking, Fluttershy."
At first, I was worried they would try to “insist”, but instead Twilight said, "All right. You know we wouldn’t force you to talk about something if you really don’t want to. Just try to cheer up, okay?"
"Okay."
With that, I covered my head with a pillow, but suddenly sensed something. When I took my pillow off me, I saw two blue eyes staring at me. You should know who they belonged to.
"Surprise!!"
I screamed and almost rolled off my bed! "What?! P-P-Pinkle? How did you--" As I looked more at the smiling face of Pinkie, who stood beside my bed, I realized the answer to what I nearly asked was very simple. "Of course. You're Pinkie Pie."
"And you are in need of some serious cheering up, so I can't leave you in here all alone, silly Eric!" For a role reversal, Pinkie gave me a *boop* on the nose, which made me chuckle. Something tells me that I might be the only human in the whole Multiverse to get a “boop” from a pony.
But “boops” aside, I knew Pinkie wasn’t going anywhere. Thus, to the others still outside the door, I called out, "Well, the rest of you might as well come in. I know I can’t get Pinkie out of here till I let her try to cheer me up."
The door was opened with pink magic, and Twilight, Spike, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow, and Fluttershy all walked in, and Pinkie hopped over to them. I figured Starlight was still off somewhere; probably with a certain boastful blue Unicorn.
"We are so sorry about what happened. If any of us knew Diane thought of you like that, we would not have tried to help you ask her out," Twilight admitted.
"Yeah, big bro. I should have let it go when you said how bad you are at asking out your crushes."
Rainbow added, "And I thought ponies were used to you by now and wouldn't think you look...odd."
"I have half a mind to give that Diane Heart a piece of my mind!"
Ha, sometimes I wonder why I don't look at Rarity like a big sister, because she acts like one sometimes, like she just did. But I explained, "Well, Rarity, Diane didn't even mean for me to know, so it's not like she didn't care about my feelings or anything."
Rarity stuttered, "Well, I-I guess. But s-still--"
Turns out, Starlight wasn’t with you-know-who: she walked to my doorway and asked, "Hey, what's going on?" Starlight looked to me and gasped when she saw me frowning. "And, Buggie? Why do you look sad? What happened?!"
Before I could, Applejack explained, "Well, Starlight, that Diane Heart said Eric looked too weird, and he’s takin’ it hard."
Starlight’s eyes grew big and she gasped harder than before. "She said what to my little brother?"
"Applejack said Diane thinks Eric looks weird," Spike answered. Though I was hoping no one would’ve repeated that!
Oh, boy. Starlight Glimmer entered "Overprotective big sister" mode, and she gritted her teeth. "Where is Diane Heart?"
Pinkie answered, "Probably at Sugarcube Corner."
"On it!"
Starlight turned away, but before she could start running down the hallway, I said, "Wait, wait, wait, Starie! Calm down, because she didn't try to hurt my feelings or even wanted to."
"Maybe, but--"
"Please? For me?" I begged.
At first, Starlight turned her head back and forth between the hallway and me, with her teeth still gritted. After a few more seconds, she relaxed her teeth and took a deep breath. "Okay. But I hate someone thinks that about you. You can't help it if you come from a world that looks different from Equestria."
Rainbow, ever the loyal friend, tried to lift the mood and said, "Hey, you know what, Eric? Diane Heart might be a ‘good’ pony but you’re a great, no, an awesome guy, so you can still do better than her anyway!”
“That’s right, darling, so not having you is her loss!" Rarity said with a wink, which made me blush...again.
"Yeah!" Applejack chimed in. "Yer earned a Pink Heart of Courage from the Princesses, and I bet Diane don't have anythin’ close to that!"
"And you have us, and we don't think you look weird one bit!" Pinkie told me while hopping. I even felt a bit guilty for thinking she was “weird” sometimes. In a good way, of course.
"Thanks, and I feel a little better, but can I just be alone for a while? I won’t stay here all day though, I promise.”
She didn’t seem to want to, but Twilight responded, "Well, okay, if you really want to be alone for now.” Twi turned her head at the others one by one. “Guys, let’s go.”
Twilight and the others all left my room, and I put my pillow over my head for the max moping effect. Guess hearing I felt a little better was enough for Pinkie to be willing to leave too.
However, ten seconds later, I heard the door open. I took the pillow off my head to see Twilight walking back in.
"Ugh, come on, Twilight! I know you mean well, but--"
"I know you said to leave you alone, but I can't let you mope like this. So...I'll do it."
"Do 'what'?"
"Do you remember what you have been asking me to do, but I refused to do it?"
I tried to think of what Twilight might have been talking about, but couldn’t think of anything. "Well, it's not like you always do something I ask, so I got nothing."
In what seemed to come from nowhere, Twilight blushed. "I mean, I'm going to do...it."
I rubbed my head, and still didn’t know what Twilight was going on about. But when I truly noticed Twi blushing, an internal light bulb lit up in my head and I gasped. "Wait. You mean, you finally want to do it, it?"
Twilight's blush grew bigger. "Well, I don't want to, but if it would cheer you up, I will."
"No way! You’re serious?! You're not joking, are you, Twi?"
Still blushing, Twilight shook her head. "No, I'm not joking. It's embarrassing, but I can't stand to see you so sad and not do something that could help you feel better. And because we are alone in your bedroom so no one will see it. So, are you ready?"
"I'm ready!"
"Well, here I go. Just hope I don’t mess up because this is something I don't have much experience in doing."
With my face bearing one of my biggest grins yet in Equestria, Twilight first stood up on her hind legs. Then she moved one of her hind legs to point behind her and back to its normal position repeatedly, while moving her head forward and backward. Along with that, she flapped her forelegs like chicken wings, and clucked like a chicken. All the while she changed the direction she faced about every one or two seconds.
Yep, Twilight Sparkle was doing the "chicken dance"! It. Was. Priceless! I tried to get that pony to do the chicken dance for the last month, but she always put her hoof down because she said the dance looked too silly. Though she wasn’t wrong about the “silly” part! Seeing me so sad now though, and she probably felt guilty to boot, big sis Twilight finally did it to cheer me up.
And it worked! As Twilight kept “dancing”, I was laughing my head off!
"Bawk! How do you like this dance? Bawk!"
"Ha ha ha! Oh, I love it! This is even better than I thought it would be!"
"Bawk! If you love that, then how about this?”
Twi went even further as, while she kept flapping her forelegs and kept moving her head back and forth, she yelled, "Bawk! Twilight want a cracker! Bawk!"
That made me laugh even harder! "Okay, that’s too funny and I can’t take it! No more, Twi! Ha ha ha!"
"Bawk! Nope, I'm not stopping! You wanted me to do this for a month, little bro, bawk! So you're getting everything, and this is actually pretty fun! And where's my cracker? Bawk! Twilight still want her cracker!"
After a few more seconds of the Princess of Dancing giving me the laugh of my life, my bedroom door opened, revealing Starlight, Spike, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy. All seven froze and dropped their mouths. Twilight stopped dancing and clucking with one of her hind legs pointing behind her in the air. She formed one of the biggest embarrassed grins I had ever seen her give, turned to the others, and I stopped laughing.
"Uh...hi?" Twilight greeted while still staying in position; probably because she felt too embarrassed to move.
Spike asked, "So...you finally got Twilight to do it, huh, Eric?"
Rainbow asked, "What is ‘it' that she’s doing?"
"Something I never thought Twilight would do," Rarity commented.
"Well, you have some...interesting dance moves, Twilight," Fluttershy said.
"Is that really how silly I looked when I did that dance on my farm?"
"And I wish I stayed to see this!" Starlight admitted. Preferably while sitting in a white and blue striped chair and eating popcorn.
"But do you want to know what's really embarrassing?" Pinkie asked.
"What?" Twilight asked.
"You did that dance wrong, Twilight! You do it like this!"
Pinkie got on her hind legs. She moved her head forward and backward, moved one of her hind legs to point behind her and back to the floor over and over, and flapped her forelegs like a chicken while clucking. Similar to Twilight, Pinkie even yelled, "Bawk! Pinkie want a cracker! Bawk!" while dancing, making me laugh my head off again! I couldn’t tell what Pinkie did “different”, but I didn’t care!
But Rainbow bragged, "Nah, I can do better than that!" and joined in the dance, though she didn’t do the “Rainbow want a cracker!” part.
"No, no, no, that's not how ya do it! It's done like this!” Applejack, the creator of the chicken dance, showed us “how it’s done”. It's even funnier seeing Applejack "dance" in person than on TV!
One by one, the others joined in, and Twilight “unfroze” and got back to dancing. Soon, all eight of them "danced".
As they did, I kept laughing. The pain in my heart over Diane Heart all but went away, because I was so busy laughing at my friends and Equestrian siblings.
Or I should say with them, because they were laughing too.
Yet, for some reason, I couldn’t shake an odd feeling that someone would soon advise me to ask out Twilight...