//------------------------------//
// Let's Dance 
// Story: The Fall of Detective jakkid166 
// by jakkid166 
//------------------------------//

I backflipped outta the cave and landed on my face. I got up and said "Alright Dick we gotta lead! This will help us with our case so hard. We just gotta get to Manehattan, and then we will get to Manehattan."

"Yeah you right jakkid," said Dick America. "Are you ready to go now?"

"Yeah hell I am," I said. "After all they call me Detective jakkid166 for a reason."

"What is that reason?"

"Because its my name."

"Wooooah"

"Anyway we gotte head over back to the Manehattan place," I said to Dick. "But to do that we gotte have a method of transporter. Thankfully, the Diamond Dogs cave is right next to the Equestria Airport" I said and I pointed to the airport we were next to.

"Wow sweet" said Dick America and we went into the air port. while we was on their way i tripped and fell on the ground

"Oops" i said and I got up. "That was the fall of detective jakkid166."

Anyway we went in and I walked up to the plane ticket seller pony but then some pony guy cut in front of us and went to the ticket seller first.

"One ticket to Pony Istanbul please" said the guy.

"Okay sure whats your name?"

"My name is Detective jakkid166" said the pony.

"WHAT?!" SCREAMED the ticket seller pony and her and a bunch of police ponies jumped on him and beat him up with police sdicks. And then he got arrested and taken away

"Holy crap" I said. "That guy has the name name of me as just a coincidence."

"Yeah you right," said Dick America. "You gotta make up a fake name for youself so you dont get arrestinated too."

so I qalked up to the pony and said "Hi I would like one plane ticket to Manehattan please."

"Alright sure what is your name?"

"Uhhhhhh" I said. I tryed to think of a fake name, but because I am a detective I only think about facts and logic all the time, so I am not good at making up fake things. So I instead decided to use a name I have already heard before. But what name wold fit me best?

"My name is Princess Celestia," said me.

"Wow you have the name of Princess Celestia just as coincidence?" said the pony "Thats so cool. And who is the other guy?"

"My name is Tom Cruise," said Dick America.

"Wow Tom Cruise can I have you autograph?" said the pony.

"Sure" said Dick America but he had no paper so he went to the bathroom and stole a roll of toilet paper and signed that and gave it to her.

"Thanks Tom Cruise" said her and she gave us our tickets. "Enjoy your flight, unless you die on it."

"Thanks" we said and we went on the plane. I seat in my sat, and Dick Americo sat next to me. "Fantasmic," I said to Dick. "We are making good progres! Maybe we will even reach end of this story in like two chapters."

"Yeah maybe," said Dick America "But we cannot get too ahead of theirselves yet. We mus watch for danger of every corner."

"True" I said and I pulle out my detective gun to be ready for anything. The plane started taking off though and the flight atendant said "Sir please store your gun in the over head cabinet while the plane is flying."

"Fine" I said and I did that. But I also secretly took some more cocaine outa my pocket and ate it.

We flew through the air (because planes can fly) and the speaker came on the speaker and said "Hello everyone and welcome to Death Airlines. If you die on this flight please do not sue us."

"Thats stupid," I said. "Why wold someone die while they are still alive?"

"I dunno jakkid," said Dick Ghost. "Anyway hey Flight attendant can we get some food? Ghost food for me and normal food for jakkid."

"Sorry we dont have ghost food," said the atendant. "We do have vampire food though."

"Ok sure that works" said Dick America and the attendant give him a glass of blood. And Dick used him shapeshifiting ghost powers to grow fangs and suck the blood

But Dick America got a phone call on his telecellphone. He pulled it out and said "Hello who is this?"

"Dumbass!" said the ticket seller pony who was on the other end of call. "You are not Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise is dead! This mean you signed tickets with a fake name!"

"So?" said Dick. "What are you gonne do about it?"

"We are gonna shoot you flight down!" said the pony and she went to the big airport Artilery Cannons and starte firing it, and the cannons shot smaller artillery cannons out and then the smaller ones fired bullets at our plane. Then one of the bullets HIT the side of the plane and blew one of the doors off and all the people in the plane got SUCKED OUT but they were okay cause they had parachutes. Me and Dick america didnt get sucked out though because

"Shit!" I said. "Everyone is sucked out, includeing the pilots! We are gonne crash and die!"

Dick Americo looked out the window and said "Shit jakkid we are flying into Manehattan, we might get in a trafic collision!"

"Oh no that is very bad." said me

"Jakkid there is only one way we can save ourself." said Dick Ameica. "We wil have to FLY THE PLANE!"

"Shit you right!" I said and we run to the cokpit. I sat in the chair and I grabed the plane's steering wheel. "Alright let's do this."

the plane was headin STRAIGHT for a telephone pole but I was ready. I did not yet have my pilots lisense but I used my detective skills to deduce what buttons and stuff did what. I pulled up the plane but then we were headed for a BUILDING

"JAKKID WATCH OUT THE BUILDING" SAID DICK!

"DONT WORRY" I said and I JAM the wheel to the right and I drifted the plane around the building.

"Jakkid look out, you gonna hit that BIRD!"

"DAMMIT!" I said cause if the bird hit the wind sheeld then it would stain it with blood and make it hard to see. So I steer the plane and the bird went into one of the jet engines instead

"Wait jakkid you ar gonna hit that HOUSE!"

and I looked and saw the plane was going down and was gonna hit someone in the HOUSE! The pony guy was on his fromt lawn grilling meat and stuff and he looked at us flying toward him and said "Wow cool im gonna die."

but I PULLED the plane up JUST ENOUGH! It went soarin over his house and instead went for the street. "BRACE YOSELF DICK AMERICA!" I said and the plane CRASHED into the street and both me and dick got flung out tha windshield and we bounced off the road and landed in front of the Rip Off Nightclub.

"Table for two please," I said to the front door man.

"Yes sir," said the man. "Wold you like someone to valet your plane?"

"Sure thanks bro." I said and I threw the plane keys at him and we went inside. But when we was went inside, something was off abot this place...

"Wow," said Dick America. "This night club is also a aquarium! That is cool."

but I noticed something worse. the nightclub was also...

a STRIP CLUB!

"NOOOOO!" I said as I look at all the striper ponies. "I canot take it! None of these ponies is wearing any clothes!"

"Jakkid you gotta brave it," said Dick. "Detective must always face hardship in life, whether it be low salary or the Sin of Lust."

"Fine," said me. So we went to our table and sit down and a waiter pony came to us and gave us menus.

"I will have the fork," said Dick America.

"I want a spoon," said me.

"Exellent choices sir" said the waiter and he take our menus.

"Before you go," said me. "I hear there is a guy name Brad Joke performing tonight. Is that true?"

"Yeah it is," said the waiter whose name was actually Walter the Waiter. "He willbe doing stand up comedy very soon." and he left to go get our food.

"Hey jakkid," said Dick. "Why are you so afraid of naked girl so much?"

"Simple," said me. "Detective jakkid166 have one true love, and that is Justice. And i do not want justice to think I am cheating on it."

"But jakkid remember what they say," said Dick America. "Justice is blind. So it cant see you cheat on it."

"Oh wow good point," I said. "Still I dont get it. There is ponies on stripper poles that have big butts and people like that. Why do people like big butts? If your ass is really big that mean your butt cheeks have too much poop in them."

but then we looked at the stage and the curtains opened and on there we saw was a pony. Just from looking at him and listening to his voice, I cold tell that it was Brad Joke.

"My name is not Brad Joke," said the pony to the crowd, "But I am the one introducing Brad Joke. Everyone please welcome to the stage, whatever the name of the pony I just said is!" and he left the stage and Brad Joke got on.

"Sweet," said me as the waiter brought us our food. "We get to solve case AND listen to stand up comedy!"

"Yes," said Dick. "Even in detective life there is time for relaxation and fun."

and so Brad Joke start telling jokes. "Ok so why did the chicken cross the road?"

"I dont know," said the entire crowd

"Me either," said Brad.

"I dont get it," said me as I take a bite out of my spoon.

"Yeah I dont get it either" said Dick. "But lots of shows suck on the first season. Lets wait until season 2 to judge."

"Okay here is joke," said Brad. "Knock knock"

"Who's there?" said the crowd.

"I am Brad from UPS, I have your package for you."

nobody in the crowd was laughing at the jokes.

"Thats stupid," I said. "I hear that joke every time I buy something from Amazon."

"Yeah, season 2 sucked too!" said Dick. "But maybe third time is the charm."

"Yeah maybe."

"But even if his jokes start not sucking we need to find a way to get him alone so we can questione him." said Dick America. "But how will we do that?"

"For a distraction I could fight one of the aquarium dolphins," I said. "But thats illegal. It would be defeating the porpoise"

"Okay here is another joke," said Brad. "What do you call a spoon that is pointy?"

"I dont know," said the crowd.

"A pointspoon!"

"What" said the crowd.

I had enough. I got up from my chair and pointed at Brad and the spotlight shine on me and I said "HEY! Your jokes suck!"

"What the fuck?" said Brad Joke."No they do not! I am funnier than any other pony alive, like George Washington."

"Oh yeah?" I said and I look at the crowd. "Who here think this guy is not funny?"

"I do I think this idiot on the stage is not funny!" said everyone in the crowd and they start booing him.

"OH NO, THERE ARE GHOSTS SAYING BOO!" said Brad.

"No there are not," said Dick. "Except for me. We are booing you!"

"HEY THATS MEAN!" said Brad. "Fuck you idiots, you all suck wrinkly pony balls!" and he ran backstage.

"After him!" I shouted and me and Dick ran back to the backstage. Brad Joke was in him dressing room and I KICKEd the door down and went to him.

"WOAH what the fuck?" said brad. "Who the hell are you doing here?!"

I grabed Brad Joke and was gonna slam him onto a table but there was no table. "Goddammit!" I said. "Hey Dick go find a table!"

"But there is no tables here," said Dick.

I took out some more cocaine and ate it and said "Then go find one SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

"Okay jeez!" so Dick ran out of the club and went to the nearest IKEA and brought a table back and built it.

then I slammed Brad onto the table for questioning and said "Alright Brad I know you been buying cocaine from the Cocaine Dogs! You gonna answer questions to me!"

"Good luck bitch!" said Brad. "I never answer questions in my life! Besides, cocaine isent illegal in Equestria!"

"Oh yeah?" said me. "Maybe so but I have you on a WORSE crime."

"Which one?"

"Doing stand up comedy WITHOUT a sense of humor!"

"He is right," said Dick. "That is serious crime. Punishable by having to watch Andy Dick stand up comedy."

"NOOOOO!" said Brad. "You cant prove I have no sense of humore!"

"Oh yeah?" I said. "I have simple test for you then. Say a funny joke"

"Uhhhhhh" said Brad. "Uhhh did you assume gender? I am attack helicopter."

"Dumbass!" said me. "You fall into my trap! No one with sense of humor ever says that joke!"

"Shit youre right!" said Brad. "Okay I admit it! I have not sense of humor!"

"Then you beter answer our questions," said me, "Or else we gonna arrest you!"

"Fine!" said Brad and I let go of him and he sit in his chair. "What the hell you want to know?"

Dick took out his handy dandy notebook and said "You bought cocaine from the cocaine dogs right?"

"Yeah so what?"

"So you meet their boss?" said me.

"Yeah."

"That is my questione!" I said and I slam my face on the table. "Who is their boss?"

"I dont know," said Brad.

"WHAT?" said me and I grab him and the camera zoom in really close on us. "Bull shit! You met him!"

"Yeah I did but I dont know his name."

but then i THREW Brad into the wall and he made a dent in the wall. I went to him and grab him again and said "Dont you bull shitting us! I am Detective jakkid166! I can fuck you up AND down!"

"WOAH jakkid!" said Dick. "Calm down! We is just questioning him!"

"Oh." said me. "Sorry. Something is making me do weird stuff."

"Jesus Christ I really dont know who he is!" said Brad. "All I know is he is red and has horn. And he said he was really happy Celestia is dead."

"I see," said me. "He is prime suspect! So we are lookin for a red unicorn then. What red unicorns do we know?"

"I dunno," said Dick. "But it is a lead. We better go out and find more info on who that might be."

"Right," said me, and me and Dick started to leave. but I pointed at Brad and said "Alright thanks for the info, but you better take comedy school lessons or we wil be back!"

"Okay fine sheesh" said Brad.

We went out into the dining room but everone was gone for some reason. "What my fuck?" said me. "Where did everyone go? This is not Fallout Equestria yet."

"Wait jakkid do you ear that?" said Dick America.

"No I dont. What is it?"

"Its the sound of you being punched in the face!"

"Wait what?" I said but then I realized I had just been punched the face and knocked into a wall. "What the fuck? Who done did that?"

but then the punch attacker landed on the ground and I saw, it was RAINBOW DASH! and she was with TWILIGHT Sparkle and whoever the others are!

"Aw crap!" said Dick. "How ded you find us?!"

"It was simple clue work," said Twilight. "You see  we cleverly deduced you were in here by watching you go in here."

"Damn!" I said. "We shoulda crashed something more stealthy into the place."

"But it is too late now!" said Twilight. "We gonna bring you back to Equestria and turn you both to STONE!"

"But I am ghost," said Dick America.

"Then we wil turn you into GLASS!"

"OH NO!" said Dick.

"WAIT" I said and I got off my wall hole. "Twilight Sponkle, you ned to listen to me! We are close to finding the true killer, I can FEEEEEEL IT!"

"Feel my ass," said Rainbow. "You are the true killer I know it! We saw it on the sekurity fideo!"

"That was faked Rainbow, with Adobe After Effects!"

"Jakkid I  beleve you," said Twilight, "But I think you are lying. I am sorry but I canot risk leting the true killer go away!"

"Twilight I dont want to fight you!" said me.

"I wouldnt want to fight me either," said Twilight. "Woah thats the coolest thing I ever said in my life."

"Goddammit!" I said. "Alright look like it is time for battle royale."

And so we was all at a wild west standoff. Some weird music played in the background and a tumbleweed blow through the club. Twilight spat tobaco out of her mouth and Dick America looked at the horses in the background.

Suddely rainbow JUMPED at me but I was prepared. I grabbed a table and threw it at her and the table smashed into her and knocked her into a wall and smashed into her again and knock her out. Then Applejack ran to Dick America with her rope and tried to tie him up but he was a ghost so she couldn't.

"Aw appleshit," said Applejack. Then Dick stole Applejack's hat and Applejack said "HEY thats my hat!" and she kept trying to jump up and get it but Dick America was floating too high so she couldnt.

Then Rarity ran to me and attacked me with Dresses but I quickly went online and posted a lot of bad reviews on her shop so she was bankrupt and cold not make dresses anymore. "NOOOOOO!" said Rarity and she ran away crying.

Dick America put Applejacks hat on top of a tall shelf where she still kept trying to get it, and meanwhile Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy team up on him. Pinkie did a Kung Pow Kick but she actually went though Dick because he is a ghost and acidentally kicked fluttershy in the face instead and knock her out. Then Dick went to Pinkie and said to her "Stop attacking us."

"Oh okay." said Pinkie.

finally the last one was Twilight. "No you bast ards!" said Twilight. "We canot lose! Not today! We have to justice Celestia!"

"That is what WE are trying to do!" said me. "Join us Twilight, and we can solve the case as friend and friend!"

"NO!" said Twilight. she RAN at me to charge up her magic attack, but then I stuck my mouth on her horn and sucked a ton of magic out of her and I was Fully Charged.

"Aw crap," said Twilight.

And I unleash my ULTIMATE MAGIC BURP that sent Twilight andfriends away out of the nightclub and into the horizon.

"CURSE YOOOOU JAKKIIIIIIIID!" said Twilight as she flew into the distance.

"That gotta hold them off for a while," said me. "Dick are you ok?"

"Yeah," said Dick. "Im a ghost so nothing happened to me."

but then we both heard a EXPLOSION sound and a scream of eons! "What fuck was  that?!" I said.

"It come from Brad Joke's dressing room!" said America and we ran back there. But when we open the door the scene was the SHOCKINGEST thing I ever seen!

Brad Joke was BLOWN UP, and pieces of him was everywhere!

"SHIT!" said Dick. "How cold this happen?!"

"I dont know!" I said. "Go find his neck so you can check his pulse!"

"Right," said Dick and he did that. "Here it is." and he felt for the pulse. "Oh no, he is DEAD!"

"God dammit!" I said. "This is suspicous as fuk. This guy give us info on the Cocaine Boss, and now he is dead?"

"Wait jakkid look at this," said Dick and he hold up a rocket launcher. "I bet this is the muder weapon!"

"You right," I said. "But I see no fignerprints on it. Mysterios," I said. But then I looked at onea the hoofs on the ground and it was holding a book.

"Whats this now?" I said and I grabed the book and read it. "Wtf, this is a bible!"

"A bible?!" said Dick. "But why wold someone getting murdered be holding a bible?"

"Maybe he is christian and want to forgive his sins before he died," said me. "Still this may be important." and I put the bible in my evidence record.

"Well jakkid where do we go now?" said Dick America.

"Wait lemme see that rockit launcher," said me. "Wait Dick, look at the brand of this rockit launcher!"

"Woah," said Dick. "Its a Cuisinart!"

"There is only one pony I know who sells this brand of rocket launchers," said me. "And I think it is time we pay him visit."

TO BE CONTINUUUUUUUUUUED