//------------------------------//
// A Visit to The Tasty Treat 
// Story: Kitchen Nightmares: Equestrian Misadventures 
// by Spettro138 
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The next hour was spent fighting and throwing spells at everything as Twilight and Luna did battle outside the restaurant with their grotesque opponent. They had found a way to lure the shoggoth outside without it destroying the restaurant Gordon and his crew put so much labor-intensive time into creating. Unfortunately, the mess it created in doing so ended up keeping the staff and the rest of Gordon's crew busy with the clean-up. The creature didn't last long as Luna finally remembered the spell to banish the shoggoth back to the nightmarish realm that she had accidentally summoned it from.

After Twilight had helped Princess Luna properly dispose of the eldritch horror that the princess had accidentally summoned, Gordon left Zesty Gourmand's restaurant and began their slow, tiring return back towards Canterlot Castle with Princess Luna, Spike, and Pinkie Pie in tow. Twilight had Spike sit on her haunches and Pinkie help Gordon's crew carry their gear back to the palace. Businesses along the Restaurant Row strip were beginning to shut down their daytime operations as other nighttime tourist food stops were beginning to set up. The nighttime bat pony guards were beginning to come out as they noticed Princess Luna and saluted whenever she came in sight. Two even ran up two the group as they helped escort them to the castle

As they made their way out to the center of the square, they found ponies in a panic as the moon was flying all over the night sky. Once or twice, it even dropped rapidly to the horizon as if it was a rock being dropped to the ground.

"Nightmare Moon has returned!" one noble pony dramatically cried.

"She's gonna steal our souls out of our plots!"

"The horror! The HORROR!"

"Should...that be happening your majesty?" Gordon asked. "Last time I checked, a moon doesn't do a fucking mambo."

"Twilight...were you messing with the placement of the moon again?" Spike asked accusingly. "Last time you did that, Ponyville Lake rose and flooded half of Sweet Apple Acres!"

"You...tried to move the moon?" Gordon asked clearly confused with the small lavender mare.

"Keyword being "tried". It didn't turn out so well. That was merely part of the scientific method Spike," Twilight replied haughtily. "Now I know not to have it above bodies of water."

"Nay young Spike, I believe our Sister just wished to have somepony attempt to raise our moon since we were otherwise occupied by our brief imprisonment in Zesty's eatery," Luna replied as she ignited her horn as it glowed bright blue.

The moon seemed to slow down and stay in a single spot high in the night sky.

"We apologize for our rash actions great Ramsay and we thank thee for being merciful with us with our punishment by only keeping us imprisoned for 4 hours," Luna said with a deep bow.

"It's fine," Gordon said. "We all make mistakes. Accidents happen."

"We disrupted thou's heroic efforts to restore a piece of our capital's community," Luna said shamefully. "We deserved harsh lashings from our personal fox o nine tails, but thou proved thy greatness by showing us mercy."

"Doesn't she mean cat o nine tails?" Twilight whispered.

Luna stood up on her hind legs as she gave Gordon a crushing big bear hug. Twilight and the others stood there giggling like mad ponies while Gordon suffocated from the Princesses love.

"Ok-Okay, Okay, Okay, everything is alright. I forgive you. Can you please let me go? I need my lungs to fucking breath ya know."

"Oh, sorry," Luna replied sheepishly as she blushed and released Gordon.

Making their way back to the castle, they passed the guard checkpoints once again as they were allowed entry. They walked through the main throne room and into the dining hall looking to make themselves a bite to eat. The hallway's torches were darkened and everything was silent. Carefully stepping around where they assumed the empty dining hall table to be, they worked their way around the room and towards the kitchen, when suddenly, the room lit up revealing a table full of food.

"Surprise!" the white alicorn exclaimed. "Welcome back!"

Celestia was sitting at the end of the table waiting for them as she greeted them. Several servants circled the table carrying various trays covered with various kinds of food.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one to do stuff like this!" Pinkie pouted.

"Oh hush Pinkie, I had to do surprise birthday parties for Sweetie Belle when you were away on party business in Dodge City," Rarity said playfully. "Let the Princess have a little fun."

"Princess, what's all this for?" Twilight asked.

"You always want to show off don't you sister?" Luna asked rolling her eyes at the white alicorn.

"Well, I at the very least wanted to thank and congratulate Gordon on his first official success here in Equestria. I thought a nice dinner banquet for my new friend from Earth would be appropriate," she explained.

"Friend?" Gordon asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Why of course!" she exclaimed. "You have helped us so much already and you have been so good to us. I already consider you a friend. I certainly hope you can feel the same about us Gordon Ramsay."

Everyone turned to look at him as he looked around the room scanning everyone in sight. A blank expression remained on his face for ten solid seconds until he gave them a small smile and walked tiredly over to one of the servants carrying a tray of wine glasses and took one for himself.

"Oh well, I don't see why not," Gordon said cheerfully. "You've all been a very pleasant lot to be around. I can't see why we shouldn't be mates."

The entire dining hall erupted into jubilant cheers as they sat down and properly enjoyed the feast that the princess had made for them.

"Now that we've become friends, I can make a Welcome to Equestria party for you Gordy!" Pinkie exclaimed happily.

"Just give me a bit of head-up first Miss Pie," Gordon said firmly. "I would prefer my heart didn't jump right out of my chest whenever somebody tries to give me a surprise."

"No promises!" Pinkie giggled in a sing-song voice.

For the next hour, everyone say down as they enjoyed their tiny celebration conversing amongst each other about all of the things that they had to do during their respective capers. Celestia had one of her servants pour her and Gordon a glass of her finest red wine as she recounted her own experiences from the past few days.

"So, I hear you had quite an experience here as well while Twilight and I were dealing with Gourmand,"  Gordon stated.

"Why yes, members of the White Tail Deer Nation's royal family came here for a diplomatic visit," Celestia explained. "I have known their King for quite a long time. His kind is among the few groups of immortals other than Luna and I that are left on Equis."

"I heard a few things from Miss Rarity. They are deer correct?" Gordon asked. "The way they were described, it almost sounded like they were this crazy place's equivalent of high elves."

"Yes, in fact, I have read of the high elves you speak of in your fiction and I do see the connection. They dwell within the deepest parts of the Everfree forest where only one of their own would be able to reach. King Aspen brought his son Prince Bramble here to learn more about Equestria and to attempt to strengthen relations. And to ahem...meet me personally after our dinner banquet."

"Don't beat around thy proverbial bush dear sister. He wanted to see his "sweet Celly-poo," Luna teased. "And don't play coy with us, I have seen his dreams and I know how he feels about you. We half expected to come out with another nephew out of this experience. If we don't have another already."

Every guard and servant around the table snickered trying to keep themselves from laughing. Even Pinkie and Rainbow had to shove their hooves in their mouths to stifle their laughter.

"I can assure you, Luna, it's been over a decade since Aspen and I have done anything...of that nature," Celestia replied dryly.

"Oh, so we might have a half alicorn/half deer nephew roaming around that has come of age? Splendid!" Luna continued to tease. "At least we know thou's love life has not gotten stale and rusty since we left Equestria."

Gordon simply ate and drank as he watched the entertaining display before him. Celestia and Luna's conversation ended up with the two wrestling each other to the ground while Twilight and Rarity just sat there horrified. Pinkie sat down in a chair next to the human and pulled a comically sized bag of popcorn out of her mane. 





The next morning after everypony had properly calmed down and gotten their sleep, Princess Celestia decided to take a small break letting Luna and Twilight take control of her daily duties while she took Gordon, Pinkie, and Rarity around the city. She first took them to the plaza of fountains where dozens of giant fountains shot streams of water over a hundred feet into the air. Celestia's small escort of royal guards dissuaded any passing noble ponies from disturbing the princess and her guests.

"Wow! That's rather pretty." Gordon said impressed. "Reminds me of the fountains in Madison Square Garden."

"Yes, I have always loved them. One of my more charming suitors during our first years here 1000 years ago had them built them for me as a potential courting gift. I turned him down, but I saw no reason to demolish them. They've turned into something of a beautiful tourist attraction for my little ponies."

"They look like they would make good swimming pools too! I got an itch for a cannonball!" Pinkie exclaimed excitedly.

"Don't you dare-" Rarity whispered dangerously.

Pinkie jumped and curled herself up into a cannonball as she splashed into the fountain and sprayed Gordon, Rarity, and the Princess. Rarity shrieked as she looked at her mane.

"Pinkie! Was that necessary?" Rarity whined. "You've ruined my mane! It will take an hour to fix this up."

Celestia gave a melodic laugh as water dripped from her now wet, disheveled mane. Then she did something that made Rarity's jaw drop. The princess leaped up high into the air with a goofy grin and smashed into the fountain beside Pinkie with a giant splash spraying everypony nearby. The very sight of the Princess's uncouth behavior made every onlooker faint dead away.

"Oh don't worry about that Rarity," Celestia giggled. "I can get your hair fixed in half that time."

After drying off and giving Pinkie a scolding, Rarity offered to take the group to a proper restaurant after the many days in Zesty Gourmand's subpar restaurant as she called it. She led them back towards Restaurant Row where every restaurant there was preparing for the lunch rush that was sure to come shortly. Taking a turn into an alley, the group saw what appeared to be a rustic little diner that was all too familiar to Pinkie and the fashionista.

"The Tasty Treat!" Pinkie exclaimed. "It's gonna be fun to see Saffron again!"

Pinkie jumped up to Gordon and comically floated in the air for a few seconds as she whispered into his ear.

"Just try not to mention her growing popularity on the internet," Pinkie said quietly. "It might get weird."

Gordon just raised an eyebrow at her before just nodding and pretended he knew what she was talking about.

"Oh yes, Twilight told me about this place where you and Rarity helped a mare and her father deal with their business and save their relationship." Celestia mused.

"Well, the outside appearance of a restaurant doesn't always make the restaurant," Gordon said thoughtfully.

"Well, let's go in shall we?" Rarity said.

Inside, they found the charming eatery filled with exotic decorations of which Gordon recognized as being from the pony equivalent of East Indian culture. The hardwood floors were adorned with ornate carpets that covered every foot of the restaurant. Glowing lights were hung from every rafter and chandelier to illuminate the room uniquely as ponies from every part of the city poured into the restaurant. Smells of various mouth-watering spices permeated through the air from the kitchen. 

A waitress unicorn pony with brown fur, purple eyes, and a poofy black mane carrying a tray full of food noticed the group as she galloped up to them and gave Pinkie and Rarity a big hug.

"My dear friends, it is very good to see you all once again!" the mare exclaimed happily. "And to bring such glorious guests into our restaurant is spectacular of you."

"Well, you know us, Saffron, we always want to make a big impression on ponies," Rarity replied.

"We missed you Saffie! We figured we should stop by and show you our new friend Gordy!" Pinkie chattered.

"That's Gordon-oh nevermind," Gordon chuckled quietly.

The pony Rarity identified as Saffron Masala kneeled to show respect for the Princess.

"It is a great honor to meet you, your majesty," she said respectfully. "Thank you for coming to our little restaurant."

"None of that Ms. Masala. We are all friends here. Besides, the real one getting the treatment is our interdimensional guest here Chef Gordon Ramsay," Celestia said as she gestured towards the human. 

Gordon stepped forward as he kneeled and kissed her hoof.

"A pleasure to meet you Miss Masala," Gordon said charmingly. 

Saffron blushed as she quietly giggled at the human and brushed a lock of her black hair out of her face. 

"The pleasure is mine Chef. It is not every day that we serve a guest from another world. I hope our curry dishes are to your liking." 

"Well, I spent a good amount of time in my world's equivalent to your culture, learning how to make curry, so I'm hopeful."

"FATHER! WE HAVE ROYAL GUESTS! GET YOUR LARGE CUTARA OUT HERE!" Saffron bellowed.

Suddenly, loud banging and things falling onto the ground could be heard in the kitchen as a chubby pony with the same fur and mane color stumbled out of the back doors and clumsily stood up. When he set eyes on the Princess and Gordon, he galloped up to them and gave them a deep bow.

"Your highness! It is the greatest honor for you to unexpectedly grace my humble restaurant," the pony said. "I am Coriander Cumin. I welcome you and your human friend to The Tasty Treat."

"How do you know about humans Coriander?" Rarity asked.

"Princess Twilight's own human friend was here a few months ago," he explained. "The boy was quite enthralled with my cooking."

"Well then, I'm sure you shouldn't have much problem with me then," Gordon laughed.

Saffron and Coriander led the group to a large open table booth which was covered in an earthen green cloth and surrounded by plush maroon red pillows. A single glowing lantern sat in the middle of the table, illuminating the space even more. Saffron levitated menus over to the group for them to look at as she set up the table.

"What would our esteemed guests like? May I recommend our famous curry oat cake as a starting appetizer?" Saffron asked with a large toothy grin.

"I think that would actually be lovely!" Gordon exclaimed. "While humans definitely cannot eat grass and flowers, oats are pretty palatable in a vegetarian diet."

"Yes, I think that sounds just delightful!" Celestia agreed.

Saffron dashed into the kitchen to get their appetizers as the group scanned the menus for potential choices for their lunch orders. In no time at all, she brought out a large tray full of appetizer plates and sat them down as she prepared to take their primary entree orders.

"Now, what may I get for you?" Saffron asked.

"Let's see. I'll order your Creamy Vegetable Korma," Rarity said.

"I'll have those yummy sounding Curried Carrots and Pickles!" Pinkie chattered.

"The Palak Paneer for me please," Celestia asked.

Gordon looked at the various selections on the colorful menu until his eyes laid upon a familiar dish.

"I'll have the Tikka Masala," Gordon finally stated.

"Excellent! I shall have them out as soon as possible!" Saffron said as she took their menus and dashed back into the kitchen.

The group talked amongst each other as their food was being prepared. Gordon wanted to know how they knew of The Tasty Treat and how they met Saffron Masala.

"So, I heard something about you and Miss Pie coming to this restaurant to help these two ponies in some way Rarity?" Gordon asked.

"Why yes, Pinkie Pie and I were tasked with coming here by the Map in Twilight's Castle." Rarity explained. "Saffron and Coriander were having a rather serious family problem with each other."

"What was the problem exactly?"

They were having disagreements. Saffron thought that they could revive the business with her new ideas for recipes and Coriander was just about convinced that closing their restaurant for good was the only option. Their business was suffering greatly as well thanks to Zesty Gourmand's rating system at the time. I foolishly thought Zesty's system would have benefited them because it seemed to work a short while with other restaurants, but it only ended up hurting them."

"So we just convinced Coriander to let Saffy do her stuff with her new ideas for recipes and the restaurant properly took off!" Pinkie finished.

"Quite an accomplishment. Family disagreements like that can be very difficult to resolve sometimes, as I've learned on my show, but I am glad to see it worked out well enough for you two."

"Family members fight all the time, but the important thing to remember in any good family is that you love each other no matter what," Celestia wisely said.

Thirty minutes later, Saffron emerged with two large serving trays in her magical grasp as their meals were finally ready. Gordon was the first to receive his meal as his eyes first caught the vibrant color of the spiced curry sauce that covered the chunks of tofu and rice. Gordon was impressed with the presentation of the dishes that Saffron had prepared for the group. The only thing to test now was the taste. Gordon scooped a piece of tofu and rice as he placed it into his mouth. Several pleasant warming flavors danced across his tongue as his hopefulness for Saffron's food was fulfilled. The group ate their full as their lunch was quickly downed. Gordon offered, but Celestia insisted that she pay for their meal as she left a hefty tip.

"I could retire right now and be completely happy," Gordon said happily as they left the restaurant. "What about you Princess?"

"I wouldn't know. Retirement was never an option for my sister and me due to our immortality." Celestia replied. "It would just be ducking our responsibilities. But I do understand your metaphor."

"Yeah...It's kinda funny to think that there are writers out there who think that
you two would actually do that," Pinkie said as she looked towards the unseen audience with an unamused face.

Suddenly, a scroll appeared out of thin air with a pop from a ghostly green flame. Celestia reacted as she grabbed the message and began to unroll it. Her eyes quickly darted across the letter as she turned to Gordon and the others with a big smile.

"Pack your bags, Gordon. You and the rest of the girls are heading to Griffonstone first thing tomorrow. It seems there is another Kitchen Nightmare up there for you to tackle," Celestia said.

Next Time: Casing Greta the Crazy Griffon