It's Pancake Day! My favorite day of the month!
I mean, yeah, I suck at making pancakes and I tend to screw it up more often than not, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love it. It’s kind of a personal thing, so it’s ok if you don’t understand.
Shirley understood, just saying.
Anyclue, this nightday proves to be an interesting one for your's truly. You see, I'll work my usual work that I usually work and it will be the same as usual. However, I’m gonna head out a little bit early to see if I can perhaps spot the mare from the alley. If I hear her wonderful voice then I'll totally remember her.
English accents are hot as crap.
What’s my plan, you would ask if you had a mouth? Well, I’m going to wear that stupid collar thing I found. You see, I’ve theorized that the mare was wearing it and it got torn off in the throes of passionate passion.
I would like to meet that mare. If only to spread the word that she was totally getting it on with somepony in an alley.
What’s that? Am I worried that doing something like that would harm my image? Silly Booky, I don’t care about my image to those ponies. I go out during the time where they are all sleeping, my work entails me cleaning their filth, I’m a blank flank, I’m rude, and ponies seem to be aware that I am not particularly fond of a certain blond retard and they seem not to like that.
OH! I have something I forgot I wanted to tell you! I…wait…I found…no, I made…well crap, I think I forgot it again.
Anyswayze, I will be attempting to initiate plan MUFFIN DESTROYERER this nightday if I can find big enough rocks. I don’t like to initiate something I'm not prepared for.
Wait, what happens if I accidentally fix whatever the fuck is wrong with her eyes by crushing her head with a rock? I don't wanna help; I wanna hurt!
Hmph, forget it, I'm not gonna waste my time on that retard!
Hey, wanna know something weird? That retarded pegasus has a filly. A FILLY! HOW ABSURD IS THAT?! Who in their right mind would do the dirty with her? Unless it was pity sex, which is totally honorable if done for the right reasons, however, if that’s the case, then she broke the cardinal rule of pity sex; she didn’t abort the foal.
Don’t ask how I know about any of this stuff -the stuff about pity sex- as being a stallion kind of just ensures you know these kind of things.
You know what? Despite it being Pancake Day (I’m still getting all fuzzy inside just thinking about it.) I want to bring the mood down and get serious in the next paragraph, do you mind?
Of course you don’t, you’re a book. You don’t have opinions.
Shirley had opinions. Just saying.
This is my first P-Day without her and it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. I mean, you never realize how much you love somepony until they're gone, right? It was that way with my Mom, but that wasn’t anypony’s fault.
Sometimes bad things just happen to good ponies. Other times, pissed off bees suddenly decide to murder the crap out of your mom. This is kind of like that though, I mean, I never realized how much I loved Mom until she was gone. I never really appreciated Shirley, not as much as I should have. She listened to me, a lot better than you do, and she was there for me every day of my life since I acquired her through a totally legal dash`n`grab.
Do you know what I mean? You’ve lost somepony before, right? I mean, you aren’t much of a talker, but that can easily be attributed to your existence as a book. Shirley didn’t need to talk, we understood each other so well that words weren’t needed. Do you know where I’m coming from?
I remember the last P-Day; it was a nightday, just like this one in fact. I was sitting at the table eating my pancakes while Shirley and my button collection sat in the other room being all cool and stuff. Heh, you never really realize how safe you feel until what’s most important is taken from you. Though I suppose I already made that point earlier.
I’ll miss her Booky; I’ll miss her every day of my life, which is mostly why I can’t forgive that blasted whore with the messed up eyes. Stupid wretch, you figure they would cut her wings off or something like that. She can’t fly at all, I mean, AT ALL! I bet you all the bits in somepony else’s house that her filly is ashamed of her mother. I would be, especially if my mom destroyed some awesome stallion’s house and all of his possessions (Withholding Carty as he was too busy being broken to be on fire.). No, all my amazing Mom did was get stung to death by millions of bees.
Yeah, a lot better than having a retarded mom.
Listen, I’d like to stay and muse about that walking mistake, but I have to slip into that bow-tie thing and acquire some sweets to commemorate Pancake Day.