Ring.
That damn doorbell rang once more as the final customer of the day left with some random blue dress, so I began to help close up the shop for the day. Closing didn't really entail much as the shop also acted as Rarity's house, which for the record, I can't imagine living where I work, as that would be a fucking nightmare. I finished cleaning up the shop, and went to grab my jacket, as the fucking weather team are jackasses when it comes to controlling the weather. Fuck them. Outside, it was a monsoon, with it just pouring rain. Right as a loud bang of thunder rang out, Rarity came out from the backroom looking like hell. Her usually well kept mane was well, not well kept. The customers must've run her ragged, and me as well to an extent as I'm pretty terrible at this job.
"Alright Rarity, I'm heading out, for the night," I said
"Alright darling, have a goodnight, and do be careful. It's a nightmare out there," said Rarity.
I went to open the door only for it to be slammed in my face as a blue pony raced by me. I closed the door, and turn to see who the hell just came in, and there stood the blue pony, but not just any blue pony, the coolest blue pony in all of Equestria. It was the great, and powerful, Trixie Lulamoon.
Trixie stood in the center of the shop, completely drenched from being outside. Her purple hat, was missing, but her cape was soaking wet.
"Trixie?" Rarity asked. "Darling, what are you doing here, and at this hour? We're closed if you intended on getting anything." Trixie paused.
"The great and powerful Trixie regrets to inform you, that she may or may not need your help," said Trixie Embarrassingly
"What do you need help with," I said rather too quickly.
Trixie turned with a quizzical look on her face and looked me up and down.
"Yeah you'll do," Trixie almost sounded disappointed. "I'll need you to go out there and get my hat."
I turned to look outside, and it was hell, only a shit ton of water instead of fire.
"Where is it?" I asked. I was down to help her with practically anything as she was the coolest pony around here, and I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm a big fan of hers.
"Oh, it's just stuck on a pole out there. Flew off my head when I ran by. I went to go get it, but It was under water.," Trixie explained.
"Sounds easy enough," I said.
"It's under four feet of water," Trixie added.
Fuck.
Alright, these ponies are pretty short compared to me, but not by much. From what I can tell, most of them average four feet in height, but I'm an idiot so I could be wrong. Now, I'm like 5'6, and skinny as a rake so the wind is literally my worst enemy. I also can't swim for shit so things aren't looking great right now. So I simply took a deep breath, and opened the door. I was hit with the strongest wind I've ever felt in my life, and I quickly shut the door, and turned to see two very disappointed faces.
"What was that anon?" Rarity asked.
I was about to say something back, but decided to say nothing because fuck it, no point in arguing now. I opened the door once more, and was hit with the same wind again. I closed the door behind me, but I'm pretty sure Rarity said something along the lines of,
"He's going to die," Rarity may have said.
As i made my way outside I kinda realized that I just might have to do a little bit of light swimming as most of the street was under a shit ton of water. I also noticed that there were so many different fence poles, and that I didn't ask for more details. "Fuck my life, and fuck the weather team," I said to myself. I walked down the street, and proceeded to walk into four feet of water. I began diving to check under some poles. I found absolutely nothing, and came up for air, and I checked out another set of poles, and nothing. Again, I went to get more air and once I surfaced, I realized I couldn't feel the ground anymore. The water was easily above four feet as rain continued to pour. I was fucked, but Trixie needed my help, and I'll be damned if I fail her.
As I drowned, I dived more, and more to search for the last set of poles, and lo and behold. There sat the purple hat. I grabbed it, and went back up. As I surfaced, I held the hat up high in my right hand. The feeling of victory washed over me, making me forget that I was fucking drowning.
I was beginning to sink, with my face now barely above the water, I once again cursed out the weather team, because fuck those guys and sank beneath the water. I was about to give in, and just die, when i remembered my earlier statement about never failing Trixie or whatever. With my newfound strength, I somehow swam to the surface, and slowly made it back to the Boutique. The Boutique itself was under a good three feet of water, so I able to walk up to the door, open it, and flood a good portion of the store.
"What the hell Anon?!" Rarity shouted.
"I-I got that damn hat." was all I could say between breaths. My water logged ass walked up to Trixie and handed her the soaked hat.
"Uh, the Great, and powerful Trixie is grateful for.... your service," said Trixie, definitely disappointed this time. "As payment, you can come to one one my shows, for free or something."
"Fuck.... yeah," I said. Rarity came over and gave me a towel, but I felt she was kinda passive aggressive about it but whatever. I get to go to a live viewing of the Great and Powerful Trixie at work. So I see this as an absolute win.