“...and then it turned out the Moon was actually an egg. So then this Doctor guy recommended we initiate a Horrendous Space Kaplooie to set everything straight-”
“Mother of Nightmare Moon,” Quartz muttered. “Don’t you ever pipe down?”
The prisoner gave him a mischievous grin. “Only when somepony else has something interesting to say. And no offense to you and your comrade, but you haven’t really provided stimulating conversation.”
“Just be quiet already,” Rainbow Dash whispered, the Commander pushing open the doors to the throne room. “You’re going to be in the presence of the Princess.”
The prisoner was about to retort when the duo dragged him through the dark black doors, but he couldn’t help but stare at the room. A soft blue light permeated the space, glowing from the ethereal torches lining the room. Up and down the hall large banners with symbols of the night sky and Moon hung, reaching from the top of the ceiling to the floor. The walls and ceiling all held the same soft blue tone as the torches, with only the dark purple carpet on the floor serving as contrast to the affinitive colors.
It wasn’t just the room that caught his eye. All around him, he could see a wide variety of other ponies. Some were guards as well, each with their own black armor of the Night. Most of them looked to be castle staff, with the mares wearing a black and blue dress and the stallions wearing a dark blue suit. They all stared at him as the guards dragged him further inward, transfixed at his scruffy beard and grungy mane contrasting so heavily with their own tidy attires.
“Howdy, folks,” the prisoner said with a smile. “Don’t mind me, just going for a little chat with the Princess. Something about how the Moon can be utilized for Cheese production.” A few of the staff let out small chuckles, but were soon silenced by the guard’s glares.
“Corporal Smoke!” the Commander barked.
An armored pony ran up to her. “Yes ma’am?”
“Go tell the Princess the prisoner is here!”
“Yes ma’am!” With a quick salute, he ran off past the throne. It stood erect on top of twenty steps, its wide backrest stretching ten feet in the air and with wings sprouting out of either side.
“A most queer-looking chair,” the prisoner said.
“Be quiet!” the Commander barked.
“No, seriously, why does it have wings? I get why it’s dark because, you know, Princess of the Night and all. But wings? That’s just silly.”
The Commander gritted her teeth. “I swear, if she’s passing a new execution sentence, I want to be the one that swings the axe.”
“Tsk, tsk. Such an angry attitude, Commander.” He looked back around the room, still propped up by Quartz and Dash.
“Interesting color scheme,” he murmured to himself. “A bit too simplistic for my taste, but a more than adequate representation of the current night-obsessed regime we find ourselves under.”
“I’m happy you approve,” a deep voice boomed to his left. The Commander and guards holding him let go of him and bowed low to the ground. The prisoner, still off-balance, fell flat on his bruised stomach.
“Ow!” he cried.
“All hail Nightmare Moon!” the room rang out. All around, the staff and guards bowed to the figure entering the room. She was a large pony, a full head taller than any of the stallions in the room. She was wearing dark blue boots on her hooves and a similarly colored helmet sat on her head. A long and thin black horn poked out through the headpiece, while her equally dark wings laid on her side. She marched up the stairs and took her place on the throne.
“Your respects have been noted! You may resume your duties,” she uttered. The guards and staff all nodded, scattering off to different parts of the room. The prisoner remained on the floor, clutching his stomach.
“Prisoner!” the princess barked. “On your feet!”
“I...can’t, your Highness…”
“Why not?” she said with annoyance.
“I’m sick.”
“Sick? With what?”
“Surgically induced dyspepsia.”
Annoyance crossed the monarch’s face. “Guards, make him stand. I won’t stoop to the level of talking to an unmannered vermin who won’t even respect his ruler.” Quartz and Rainbow Dash nodded and replaced their hooves under his front legs.
Once propped, the prisoner looked up toward the throne and gave a weak smile. “Greetings and salutations, Your Majesty. How can I be of service on this eternal night?”
A hint of contentment crossed the monarch’s face. “That’s more like it. You should keep such manners if you wish to stay out of that dungeon.”
“Well, good manners do cost nothing, Your Highness. I certainly wouldn’t want to upset you again.”
“Your Majesty,” the Commander said, stepping between the two of them. “I feel inclined to inform you that, despite the prisoner’s congenial attitude, he was actually quite insolent when we attempted to retrieve him.”
“Is that right?” Nightmare Moon said.
“Yes. He consistently refused to come willingly, so we had to drag him up here. He even went as far as to use... her name when talking about the majesty of Your Moon.”
The Princess’s face immediately soured, her eyes staring daggers at the prisoner. “Do you know the punishment for mentioning her name is?”
He nodded his head towards the Commander. “A date with her?” The Commander’s face turned red, the lance quaking in her hooves.
“No!” the Princess said.
“Then I’m afraid I don’t.”
“Death, you fool! Death is the punishment!”
“What?”
“Death, you insolent whelp!”
“What?”
A flash of blue magic surrounded the prisoner and in less than 2 seconds, he was dragged in front of the Princess. He floated in mid-air, the aura around him the only thing separating him from the irate entity staring at him.
“You imprudent pig!” she growled through her teeth. “You dare mock me, a Goddess incarnate?!”
“Oh no, Your Majesty! I meant no insult! I was just...just making a slight jest.”
“‘Slight jest?!’ You were mocking me!”
“I truly am sorry, Your Highness. I’ve been in that dungeon so long that I think I may have lost knowledge of the required formalities and preferred humor a figure such as yourself demands.”
The Princess’s eyes did not soften as he said this. They continued to gaze long and hard at him, determined to spot any sin within the scruffy stallion’s eyes.
He gulped. “If it pleases you, Your Majesty, I would like to ask that I be put down.”
She didn’t even blink.
“Uh...may I please be put down, Your Highness?”
Nothing.
“L-look, I really am sorry for the Death joke!”
Her eyes didn’t move.
“Beg,” she growled.
“Wh-what?”
“Beg for yourself. Demean yourself in the vilest way imaginable. Then I shall let you go.”
The prisoner gave her a nervous glance. “Shouldn’t you put me down first?”
“No. Beg from within there.”
“Well, uh...I’m not a very special pony. I’ve...no business being around even the most lowly servant of Your Majesty. How I got up here, in your presence, is an eternal mystery.”
A few moments passed in silence.
“Is that it?” she said.
“What?”
“Is that the best you can demean yourself? You, a filthy, pathetic, airheaded little stallion that has been taken up precious dungeon space every year since my rule began?”
“Well, honestly, Your Highness…” The prisoner’s eyes filled with a certain gleam. “If I’m really that bad, do I even need to bother demeaning myself? Isn’t my mere existence an insult to You and Your Glorious Night?”
For a moment, the Princess seemed puzzled. Her hard eyes and stern face wavered with each moment, and a smile soon crossed her face.
“Well done,” she said, putting him down in his original spot. “Very few ponies are able to truly grasp their inferiority to Me. You may be as smart as they say you are.”
“Well, um...thank you, Your Majesty. Anything to make your Night more pleasant.”
She grinned, her sharp fangs protruding from her mouth. “Excellent. Then perhaps it will have been worth plucking your undignified flank from that dungeon.”
He gulped. “If you say so, Your Highness.”
“I do say so,” she said with authority. “And you shall do as I command.”
“And what do you command, Your Highness?” the prisoner said, a slight shake in his voice.
“I have a task for you.”
“A task?”
“A very special one. A task that, if you complete it, will give you an inordinate reward.”
The prisoner cracked a small smile. “And what will failure give me?”
“You shall be returned to the dungeon to spend the rest of your days. Spared of your scheduled execution, but doomed to a quiet solitude while your body withers away.” She said it matter-of-factly, as if it was a simple office task she doled out daily.
The prisoner trembled for a moment, but he solidified his stance and stared up at the throne. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “Not good enough.”
A puzzled expression filled the Princess’s face. “What? You refuse my task already?”
“No, I refuse your punishment. It’s too weak, too soft. You obviously need me for something quite badly if you’re going through the effort to fetch me.” He began to stare up at the various runes covering the stone walls. “No, a lifetime in the dungeon must be paltry for your task. You need to show me just how much this task means to you. Name a more severe punishment, something that’ll make me rue the day I failed you.” He stared back at the Princess. “And I have just the punishment in mind. One I’m sure you’ll find most agreeable.”
Nightmare Moon tapped her hoof upon the dark throne. “Name it,” she said.
“Banish me to the Moon.”
The room hushed. The staff and guards looked amongst each other, faces ranging from fear to confusion. Nightmare Moon herself didn’t change her face, instead gazing down in vague fascination.
“There’s only one pony who ever got that fate,” Nightmare Moon said, a hint of anger in her voice. “And she committed a crime far worse than you ever could.”
“Perhaps,” the prisoner said. “But despite the joking visage you were presented with, I have certain principles. When I take a task, I complete it. Failure is not an option; I can’t live with it. If I take this task, I want your guarantee that you’ll punish me to the harshest extent you know.”
Nightmare Moon sat still for a moment, her stern face unchanged. “You speak the Forbidden Name in my court, you mock me with jokes, and now you have the gall to demand an even greater punishment?” A thin smile came upon her face. “Your reputation of boldness precedes you. Very well; I shall banish you to the Moon if you fail my task.”
The prisoner nodded his head. “Thank you, Your Highness. I shall do my best.”
“You better.” She stood up and strode down from her throne towards him. The Commander and other guards backed away from her path, all bowing their heads in respect. The prisoner, however, was so transfixed he could do nothing but stare and shake at the large shadow looming over him. Soon, she was not even a foot away from him.
“Because pain is something I am very good at giving,” she said with a raised hoof.
The prisoner closed his eyes. Any second now, it would come crashing down on his head. A near-death blow which would knock him clear across the room and-
A soft pat came on the top of his skull.
He opened his eyes and found the Princess softly stroking his mane like a dog.
“But punishment is not the important thing for us right now. Now we must see to the task at hoof. Guards!” Rainbow Dash and Quartz rushed to her side.
“Yes, Your Highness?” they said.
“Remove the prisoners’ shackles,” she said. “He’ll need free hooves for his task.”
They nodded and grabbed the stallion’s legs. With a few twists of the keys, the shackles fell to the floor and were gathered up.
“I shall also restore your name to you,” Nightmare Moon said, her horn glowing. “I hereby revoke your status as Prisoner #254893, and restore your birth name, Earth Shine.” Her horn tapped his head, and a wave of energy seemed to flow through him.
Earth Shine’s eyes narrowed for a moment, before giving a quick nod. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he said. He tried to make it sound nonchalant, though he suspected the Princess caught the tremble in his voice.
“Now go and clean yourself up,” the Princess said. “An advisor to a ruler should not be so ragged.”
He bowed low to the ground. “As you wish, Your Highness.” Better play into her good side as long as I can, he thought. Might give me a chance to escape.
She gave an approving nod, then walked off back towards her chambers. The staff and guards stood at attention until the doors closed. A certain stillness filled the air before they all relaxed and continued their work.
Earth Shine glanced back at his guards. “So…to my new room?” he said, taking a step towards a nearby door.
Woomph! Earth Shine found his face rammed right into the Commander’s breastplate.
“Make no mistake,” she said. “Just because you’re working for the Princess now doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. You’re still in prison, just with a bigger cell. You try and leave this castle or sneak around, I’ll know.”
Earth chuckled. “I’m sure you will. I certainly exude a certain attention-grabbing vibe.”
“Alright,” the Commander said. “Now go clean yourself up. If we’re going to have to look at you for longer than ten minutes, I want you to at least be personable.” With that, she marched forward, Earth and the two guards following close behind.
Well, better than beheading, Earth Shine thought. Now I just have to make sure I’m not going to be Celestia’s new roommate.