Flam couldn’t stop pacing up and down the staircase leading to Twilight’s Castle. His mind was racing with a million thoughts a minute, most he couldn’t process.
“Shining Armor is trapped, Apple Bloom is missing, and Rarity is onto us,” he muttered to himself repeatedly. “I’m all ALONE.”
“I’m right here,” Starlight Glimmer said, levitating Flam to stop him from pacing. “You’re not alone, and this isn’t the end. We can go ahead with the plan, even without Shining Armor.”
“But if he tells Twilight what really happened, it’s game over!” Flam cried. “I can’t go to Tartarus! I have a family, Sunlight!”
“SUNLIGHT?!” Starlight screeched, taken aback. “My name is not Sunlight!”
“Um, Moonlight?” He was met with a headshake. “Daylight?” A glare. “Just… Light?”
Starlight sighed. “Look, if we want even the slightest chance of stopping Apple Bloom before she exposes you, we need to teleport now. Make a decision: clubhouse or farm?”
“I barely know the pony!” Flam admitted. “What’s even at this clubhouse you speak of?”
Starlight thought for a moment. “Flam, you’re a GENIUS!” she suddenly blurted out.
“Why, thank you. Wait. I’m not complaining, but why is my genius suddenly being recognized?”
“The clubhouse belongs to the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Starlight explained, “Apple Bloom’s best friends. But they don’t live there, and they only ever really go there as a group. So, if she went there...”
“She probably wouldn’t run into anypony!” Flam exclaimed, picking up on Starlight’s thought process. “Whereas on a farm, there’s always somepony doing work!”
“Exactly!” Starlight grabbed Flam’s hoof. “To Sweet Apple Acres, we go!”
Before Flam could even blink, the crystalline structure of Twilight’s castle was soon replaced by an orchard of seemingly infinite apple trees. He looked around in awe. Everything seemed so… green.
“To think we almost put this place out of business,” he muttered to himself as Starlight pulled him in the direction of the barn.
Flam and Starlight peeked inside the wooden building, and saw Big Mac and Granny Smith talking to each other. Both of them were frowning, their ears had fallen, and the stallion’s arm was around his grandmother’s.
“Good,” Flam said. “If they’re sad, that means they haven’t found her yet! We beat her!” He paused. “Is it bad that I’m this happy at other ponies’ misfortune?”
“Very much so,” Starlight replied. “If Apple Bloom isn’t here yet, that means all we have to do now is wait until she comes through the entrance, then grab her before the others see her.” She looked Flam straight in the eyes. “I want to stress that we are NOT kidnapping her again. We are just bringing her someplace so we can talk to her.”
“Don’t look at me! Shining Armor’s the one who kidnapped her!”
“How do you two get anything done with all this bickering?”
“You just answered your own question. We don’t get anything done. Except cons. We pulled off a pretty nice con on those students earlier. It was good. Very good.”
Starlight sighed, then pulled Flam into a nearby pile of hay. “We’ll look out for Apple Bloom from inside here. The moment we see her, I’ll use my magic to bring us to my guidance office, where we can have a nice, friendly, calm conversation.”
“You emphasized calm. Why did you emphasize calm? I’m ALWAYS calm, Stoplight!”
“Stoplight? Really?”
“Shot in the dark,” Flam admitted.
“Just look out for Apple Bloom,” Starlight groaned, digging a hole in the hay she could see through, pointing directly at the entrance to the farm.
Flam tried to follow suit However, every time he dug, more hay seemed to cover the hole, making it impossible for him to see. After two attempts, he gave up, and tried to peek out of Starlight’s opening.
“This isn’t big enough for both of us,” Starlight said, nudging him away. “Look, just… sit there and do nothing.”
“I can’t do nothing,” Flam admitted. “It’s not my style. I have to move, or talk, or--”
“Well, then, talk to me,” Starlight interrupted. Flam opened his mouth, but she stopped him again. “Quietly. We are hiding in a haystack, after all.”
Flam chuckled. “I really want to know why Shining Armor kissed me. I mean, did we have a secret love affair last night? Because if we did, you know, I’m not opposed to it. In fact, I’d be willing to continue on with it. Of course, there’s the issue of Princess Cadance and that devil-foal, but other than that--”
“PLEASE talk about something else,” Starlight interjected, her face bright red.
“Okay,” Flam agreed, as Starlight continue peeking out of the hole. “Well, in the panic of losing the suitcase, then finding the suitcase, then losing Apple Bloom, I didn't get to tell this to Shining Armor, but I was able to remember something from last night!”
Starlight turned around and gasped. “WHAT?!”
“Unfortunately, it’s not about kidnapping Apple Bloom,” Flam clarified. “Prior to even meeting up with Shining Armor, I had lunch with my brother, Flim. It wasn’t great. I don’t remember where we went, but the crème brûlée was terrible.”
“Too much crème, or too much brûlée?” Starlight asked.
“Maybe both,” Flam responded. “But anyway, we were going to share the dish, like we always do on a Friday night, but then we got into an argument. He was yelling something about me being the reason so many of our schemes fail, and that he would be so much better off without me. The last thing I remember is him storming out, leaving me all alone with the crème brûlée. Which I ate, because, well, who wastes food?”
“Flam, I’m so sorry,” Starlight said, putting a hoof on his shoulder. “That must’ve been awful.”
“Eh, siblings fight,” Flam replied with a shrug. “It’s not the first time. I’m sure we’ll make amends soon enough. We always do. Assuming I don’t go to Tartarus.”
“You know you only go to Tartarus for trying to take over Equestria or hurt ponies, right? If you get caught, they’ll put you in jail, probably. But definitely not Tartarus.”
“Huh. That’s reassuring,” Flam said, smiling. “You know, that’s the exact kind of thing Flim would’ve told me to calm me down.” He gasped. “You’re like my temporary replacement brother!”
“Umm, I’m a mare. Wouldn’t Shining Armor be your replacement brother?” Starlight asked.
“No, because he’s my temporary lover, so that would make things weird. Besides, I like working with you more than him. You’ve got kind of a calming vibe.”
“Why, thank you,” Starlight chirped, beaming at the stallion. “That’s what I strive for as a guidance counselor.”
“Well, mission accomplished.”
The two smiled at each other, then returned back to their respective jobs of lookout and conversationalist. For a couple of minutes, nothing changed in Sweet Apple Acres.
Until Big Mac came out of the barn.
The stallion, who seemed distraught, unknowingly planted himself right in front of the hole in the haystack, meaning all Starlight could see was red.
“No!” Flam whispered. “What do we do now?!”
“Shhh!” Starlight shushed. “He’s right next to us! He’ll hear--”
Sure enough, before Starlight could finish her sentence, a tired, green eye filled the peephole. Starlight put her face in her hooves.
“Hey, friend,” Flam said, waving at the stallion.
Shining Armor walked out of the castle, and sighed. He wasn’t sure if he had done the right thing concerning Twilight, but knew that there was no going back now.
Since Flam and Starlight were nowhere to be found, he hoped that they had continued the plan without him. He wanted to meet up with them, but without knowing which destination they had decided on, he took a wild guess and teleported himself outside Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse.
He opened the door, and much to his surprise, the inside was near empty, except for a table and two chairs in the center of the room. Each window had a curtain covering it, so barely any light made its way inside the clubhouse.
Why does this feel like an interrogation room? Shining Armor thought to himself.
Suddenly, the door closed behind him. He turned around, and there was Rarity, dressed in a stylish maroon hat and cloak. She turned her muzzle up at him and stared for a moment, before sitting down at the table and addressing him.
“Take a seat, Shining Armor.”