//------------------------------// // 39 – Making Choices // Story: Playing House // by Krickis //------------------------------// Chapter Thirty-Nine Making Choices ⠀ ⠀ It wasn’t that Fluttershy didn’t like mornings. Usually, she was up long before anyone else, and she didn’t ever have too much trouble getting out of bed. She didn’t even mind being woken up, really. But today? Today was an exception. Last night had been Pinkie’s birthday, which had meant Sunset and Rainbow had a reason to get together. And that meant Fluttershy and Sunset had reason to have another argument. She would have just gone to Rainbow’s, but she was as upset with her as she was with Sunset, and there were some ways that Sunset’s place was still better. But no matter how much Fluttershy just wanted to sleep, her phone was ringing. She couldn’t even just reach over to turn it off, since it was on the floor somewhere. Grumbling and wincing from a night of drinking, arguing, and angry sex, Fluttershy rose naked from the bed. She found her pants on the floor and pulled her phone out of the pocket, intent on silencing it and getting back to bed. She stopped when she saw who was calling, however. She blinked a few times before swiping to answer. “Hello?” Fluttershy said, trying her best to keep her hangover from her voice. Sunset grunted from the bed and covered her face with her pillow. Fluttershy ignored her. “Hey, is this Fluttershy? This is Silver Song, from the concert.” “Yeah, this is Fluttershy.” Fluttershy quickly threw on a jacket and a pair of Sunset’s pajama pants, more interested in dressing fast than properly. “What can I do for you?” “Got a proposition for you. Big news.” Since Sunset was glaring out from under her pillow at Fluttershy, she stepped out of the room. “I’m listening.” “So we got this big tour coming up. The main band is Arion’s Sons, but wouldn’t you know, the opening act went and broke up. Now, I could give this slot to one of the other bands I’ve got waiting in line for a chance like this, but let me tell you, Bitchette was the first band that came to mind.” Fluttershy was almost left speechless. It had been over a month since they sent their demo in, and she had given up hope of hearing anything back. After a moment, she shook her stupor enough to respond. “That sounds excellent.” She couldn’t believe how calm her voice sounded. “When can we look over the contracts?” Silver Song laughed. “Eager, I see. I like that. If you can make it to my office today before five, I can hand them over to you myself.” “Of course, we’ll be there.” Fluttershy walked quickly through the room to get to Sunset’s computer desk, where she grabbed a pen and paper. “What’s the address?” “1842 Eastwood Road, Riftonstone.” “Riftonstone?” Fluttershy asked with a frown. “Bigger music scene than Everton. Is that gonna be a problem?” “No no, of course not.” Riftonstone was far. It was a drivable distance, but it was two states away. “I’m just worried we won’t be able to make it there by five.” “Tomorrow’s okay if you can’t make it today. But this tour is only a month away and if you’re coming, we want you to record some tracks under contract with us to put out an EP for sale at the shows. So much as I’d love to give you all the time in the world, the clock’s ticking.” Fluttershy winced. She knew he was trying to create a sense of urgency because he wanted them to sign, but that didn’t change the fact that this was too good of an opportunity to take any risks on. “We’ll be there. I think we can make it today, but tomorrow at the latest.” “Good. I want the ink dry on these contracts when I go home for the weekend.” It was Wednesday already, so he really did mean it when he said it was today or tomorrow. “I’ll call my band right now. We’ll be there.” “I’m counting on you. See you when you get here.” They hung up, and Fluttershy collapsed into the chair. As much of a hurry as she was in, she couldn’t quite manage to get her body moving. It was happening. It was actually happening. Slowly, her mouth curved into a smile. She had to tell everyone! She sat up and scrolled through her phone’s contacts to get to Rainbow. “Hello?” Rainbow grumbled miserably. “Rainbow!” Fluttershy said. “I just heard from Silver Song, and he wants us on tour!” “Silver… what?” Rainbow asked in a daze. Fluttershy giggled. “Remember Silver Song, the talent scout from New Year’s? He just called me!” “He… he called you.” Rainbow slowly started to sound more coherent. “And did you say he wants us to tour!?” “Yes! And to record a new EP under contract to sell! But we have to hurry, we need to get there by five if we can.” “By five? Shy, it’s barely nine. We have tons of time.” “His office is in Riftonstone.” “Riftonstone? We have to drive all the way to Riftonstone?” “Dashie, think of the band. This is important.” “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I’m up, I’ll be out the door in five to come get you.” “Alright, I’ll call the others while you do.” “Sounds good. See you soon.” They hung up, and Fluttershy sprung up from the seat. She quickly scrolled through her contacts, found Lightning Dust, and hit the call button. The next fifteen minutes passed in a flurry as she scrambled to get dressed at the same time she had three very similar phone calls. No one but Windfall was up when she called, and he was only awake because he was planning on going to work. He quickly hung up to call out. Meanwhile, Sunset was growing increasingly irritated at her girlfriend, who was ignoring her questions and complaints to focus on her phone and getting dressed. Once she hung up with Lemon Zest, the last to get a call, Fluttershy jumped into the bed. “Sorry to wake you, Sunny, but this is incredible!” Sunset winced at her. “Not so loud… what’s incredible?” Before Fluttershy could answer, her phone rang. She checked it to see it was Rainbow Dash. “Sorry, have to answer this.” She turned her attention to her phone. “Dash?” “Hey, I’m outside.” “That was fast. Be there in just a second.” She hung up and turned back to Sunset. “Sorry, I have to go.” She bent down and pulled the pillow away from Sunset’s face so she could kiss her girlfriend before leaving. She cupped Sunset’s face in her hands and kissed her quickly but passionately. It left Sunset looking more confused than anything. “I’ll call you and let you know what’s up later, Rainbow’s here to get me. Love you!” “Uhh… I love you too?” Fluttershy stood up and shoved her phone in her pocket. She grabbed her purse with whatever it already had in it from Pinkie’s party, and she was out the door. Thanks to Rainbow’s questionable grasp on the concept of speed limits, they managed to make it to the office on time, if only barely. It didn’t help that Riftonstone was like a maze to outsiders and that the locals weren’t the most helpful bunch. Still, all setbacks aside, they made it. With only fifteen minutes to spare, but he did say any time before five. They parked and everyone started filing out before the engine was even off. “We don’t sign anything until we have a chance to look it over,” Windfall reminded everyone for the umpteenth time. “He said he wants it settled by Friday,” Fluttershy reminded him. “I don’t think he’ll try to make us sign today.” “Two days to decide our future…” Lemon Zest said. “So, you know. No pressure.” “Look, we have some time,” Lightning Dust pointed out. “Let’s not freak out until we have the contracts in our hands, at least.” By then, Rainbow had also left the van. “What are we waiting for? Let’s get to it!” They followed Rainbow into the building, where they were greeted by a receptionist. “Hello,” Fluttershy said. “My name’s Fluttershy and I represent the band Bitchette. We’re here to see Silver Song. He’s expecting us.” “Right, he said you’d be coming. One moment, please.” She picked up a corded phone from her desk and pressed a button on it. “Mr. Song? The band you were expecting is here.” A moment’s pause. “Okay, will do.” She hung up the phone and turned towards the others once more. “He’s on his way out, he’ll greet you here.” Lightning Dust made a show of sitting calmly, although they all knew she was as nervous as everyone else. Rainbow sat beside her, but she was more visibly restless. Fluttershy and Windfall remained standing, while Lemon Zest paced around the room. While they waited, Fluttershy’s phone rang. She checked it and saw it was from Sunset. She winced, imagining what kind of conversation might be waiting for her, and she silenced the call. She could deal with that once this was settled. After about a minute, her phone chimed again to tell her she had a new voicemail. She turned the ringer off, lest it interrupt the actual meeting. They weren’t waiting for much longer at least. Within a few more minutes, Silver song walked into the room carrying a bundle of papers that had to be their contracts. “Alright, so we’ve got a bit of a grab and go here,” he said as he handed the contracts to Fluttershy. “The four band members have identical contracts. Manager’s is a bit different, but it’s all standard testing the waters stuff. You’ve got some time in the studio, we own the rights to those recordings. The contracts only cover the EP and the tour, so this isn’t a full record deal.” “But there’s a chance it could turn into one, right?” Fluttershy asked. Silver Song nodded. “Like I said, this is testing the waters. Test goes well, who knows? You lot could be the next big thing.” “How long is the tour?” Windfall asked. “Six months. Works like this. You get paid a set fee for each night you perform. Don’t perform on a night, and you get a penalty instead. No exceptions. So don’t fuck around, or you could wind up owing more than you’re making. In addition to the flat rate you get for performing each gig, you’re entitled to a merch table. You’ll be in charge of running it, that’s where you’ll sell the EP, T-shirts, whatever else you got.” He leaned in close as if he was giving them all the secrets of the industry. “Bit of advice, don’t think too much of the pay per gig part, lots of newbie bands scoff when they see what they’re making there and call it quits before they even start. Not only is this deal better than what anyone else is gonna give you for six months of steady work with no notability under your belt, but the merch is where it’s at for a band on tour. You can easily make some pretty good money with that.” Fluttershy nodded. She saw through him, of course. It was a way to entice them with money that wasn’t guaranteed, and if it came, wouldn’t be coming out of the label’s pocket. Still, it would get people hearing their music and band shirts would get people wearing their name. She’d thought of making merchandise before, but the band was always too new to bother. But then, they’d never had a nation-wide tour before. “Are we providing our own transportation?” Fluttershy asked. “The label will rent you out a van, or you can use your own. Details are in the contract, but remember, there are no exceptions to the penalty if you fail to show. Decide to save some money and use your own van, then get hit with engine trouble on the way to the set? Too bad, not playing is not playing.” “And if the van from the label breaks down?” Fluttershy asked. “Does that waive the penalty?” “Listen, the vans the label sends out are nice vans. Well maintained, not too old, no reason for them to break down. And they’re insured, so if anything does happen, we can get you on the road again and onto the next show no problem.” It didn’t escape Fluttershy’s attention that he didn’t answer her question, leading her to believe that the fee would not be waived. “We’ll think about it,” she said, by which she meant she would discuss with Rainbow the reliability of her van and compare that to the rates of the one from the label. “Of course, take your time.” Silver Song smiled. “We’ve all heard horror stories of artists getting trapped in horrible deals, but we here at Nightfall are after your best interest. It’s a generous contract for a new band, and we’re certain you’ll see that when you look it over.” “And where do we sign for the private jet?” Lightning asked. Silver Song laughed. “Well, we’re not there yet. But hey, six months isn’t so far away. Generate lots of hype on this tour and see what happens. That private jet may be closer than you realize.” He was obviously overselling it, but at least he wasn’t pressuring them to sign immediately. Just… in two days… “Remember, clock’s ticking!” he said as he led them out. “You know if it were up to me, you’d have all the time in the world. But this tour’s already booked, so if we don’t have a deal by Friday, I’m going to have to go looking for another band, much as it would kill me to do that.” “We’ll be in touch,” Fluttershy assured him. He held the door open for them. “I look forward to hearing from you. Just don’t sign anything until you’re back, and make sure you’re here earlier on Friday, let’s say three? We need witnesses when we do the signing, it’s this whole thing.” He waved them off, then went back into the building. The band held it together for a few steps as they walked away, but almost immediately they flocked to Fluttershy. “Let’s see them!” Rainbow said. “They looked smaller than I expected,” Lemon Zest said. Fluttershy smiled. “Girls, let’s wait until we’re in the van first.” “Ha!” Windfall beamed. “Girls doesn’t include me, I get to look at mine now!” “Windfall, that’s not –” “Or Fluttershy was calling you a girl,” Lemon Zest said. “I mean, you did join an all-girl band.” “You hit like a girl,” Rainbow added with a smirk. “Considering how you hit, I’ll take that as a compliment,” Windfall shot back. At least it got them talking about something else as they walked back to the van. Of course, that only lasted until they got in the van. Rainbow started the engine to get the heat on, then all eyes were on Fluttershy. She rolled her eyes and passed out the contracts. “Wow…” Lightning Dust said. “The future’s in my hands…” “Hopefully,” Lemon Zest reminded her. “We’ve still got to read them.” “So what do we do now?” Rainbow asked. “We driving all the way back to Everton, or do we want to look for a motel?” “Oh jeez, I didn’t bring anything to change into,” Lemon Zest said. Lightning shrugged. “None of us did, but that’s a lot of driving.” “We need all the time we can get to look over these contracts,” Windfall pointed out. “I say a motel if we can afford it.” Lemon Zest frowned. “I hate sleeping in places other than my bed…” Lightning clapped her on the back. “What? You know we’ll be lucky if we can even stay in a motel every night! We might have to camp out in the van some nights. Any bed is a win from here on out, princess.” It was a little funny that Fluttershy knew a princess who wasn’t above sleeping in a high school library, but she didn’t say so. “Lightning has a point, and so does Windfall. If we can pool together enough money, I think a motel is the best bet.” Rainbow agreed, which left Lemon Zest completely outnumbered. “Fine, but no one better complain about having to deal with me…” Fluttershy smiled at her. “We like dealing with you, Zesty. Besides, we had a lot of fun when I stayed at your house on New Year’s.” Lemon Zest smiled, but Rainbow entered the conversation first. “Okay, next question. Where the fuck is there a motel?” They all looked at one another, then turned their attention to their phones. Windfall found one first, then he gave directions to Rainbow as she drove off. Meanwhile, Fluttershy found herself struck with a realization. “Guess I better call out of work for tomorrow. Wonder if they’ll hold my job for me until I get back…” “Yeah…” Windfall said. “It was pretty cool working at the music store. But I can kiss that goodbye, no way they’ll wait for me.” “What about you?” Fluttershy asked Lightning Dust. “Think your job will be okay with it?” “Oh, I quit this morning.” “Woah, what?” Lemon Zest asked. Lightning Dust shrugged as if it was no big deal to up and quit her job at a moment’s notice. “I told them I couldn’t come in tonight and wasn’t sure if I was coming in tomorrow. They asked why so I told them. Then they said I had to make a choice between work and the band and, well, I made one.” At first, it sounded impressive. But then Fluttershy realized she and Windfall had the same choice to make and that neither of them had thought twice about making it. Lightning Dust had just confronted that change a little earlier than the others. “So just so we’re clear,” Lightning said as she looked through her contract, “once we’re voting on what to do, I’m pretty much willing to sign for anything now. Maybe it’s decent, maybe it’s shit, but I don’t have a job and this gives me six months to figure that out.” “As long as there’s nothing about them owning us for after that six months, you know?” Lemon Zest added. “Even if it doesn’t pay shit, it’ll still help us get our name out there. And Arion’s Sons is a big band, we’ll get big audiences touring with them.” “Yeah, I may have to lose some sleep,” Rainbow said, “but hey, I can sacrifice for this band too!” “They say you should make mistakes when you’re young, right?” Windfall held up the relatively small contract. “I’m more worried about the next one. Getting stuck in a shitty six-month contract doesn’t sound too bad right now.” Maybe they were all right, but Fluttershy knew someone who would disagree. Six months was a long time to be away from Sunset. Fluttershy pulled out her phone and steeled herself before she played the voicemail Sunset had left earlier. Hearing Sunset’s voice threatened to pull this whole thing apart. A reminder of what she was leaving behind at the worst possible time for it. She hit play and held the phone to her ear. “Okay, what the hell? You wake up making so much noise that I panic thinking something’s wrong, then Rainbow picks you up without stopping to tell me why? And you still haven’t told me why? So now I’m sitting home alone and I have to get ready for work, and I don’t even know where you are! God dammit, Shy, I’m trying to make things work, but it’s so fucking obvious I’m not what’s most important to you anymore. And I don’t even know what is! If this is about the fucking band, then…” Sunset paused to take a deep breath. “Anyway, just give me a call. Bye.” Fluttershy hung up and threw her phone back into her purse. If that was how Sunset was going to be, then she could wait until later. Right now, the band still needed their manager. So she tried her best to focus on the band, who were already trying to decipher the legalese in their contracts. Fluttershy needed them to focus on the first thing first. “So how much do we have to put towards a hotel?” Getting back to the matter at hand, everyone checked their wallets and bank accounts. They figured they had enough to scrape by, but that they’d need to find a cheap motel to stay within everyone’s budget. Twenty minutes later, they were pulling into just such a cheap motel. Nothing about it, from the decades-old chipping paint to the people sitting around with cigarettes and vacant stares, made it look even remotely welcoming. It did at least make it look particularly cheap, though, which was what really mattered in the end. When they walked into the lobby, they found a bored looking receptionist. He had a small TV behind his desk that he was watching, and he lazily looked up at them without saying a word. “We need a room,” Lightning Dust said. “For two nights.” “Rooms have two beds,” he said as he looked the large group over. Everyone looked between each other and Lightning Dust answered again. “We’ll manage.” He kept his eyes trained on them for a moment, then shrugged. He typed a few things into an ancient-looking computer, then looked back at them. “Ninety-two dollars. Credit only.” Rainbow was the first to pull out her card. “Alright, can you do thirty on this one?” “One card only.” “What?” Rainbow scowled. Everyone looked at each other and eventually, Windfall stepped forward. “It needs to have another hundred fifty on it that’ll be held until checkout,” the receptionist explained. Fluttershy couldn’t imagine why he hadn’t given that information with the price. “Just in case you mess up the room.” “We’re not going to mess up the room!” Rainbow said irritably. He just shrugged. “Then you’ll get the deposit back.” Windfall put his card back in his pocket. “I don’t have that much on me.” “None of us do,” Lightning said. “Come on, we can’t just split it over a few different cards?” “Nope, one card per room.” Everyone turned away from him. Rainbow was the first to speak. “I guess all we can do is drive around banks and pool all the money onto one card.” Windfall sighed. “Yeah, I guess so.” Lightning Dust jerked her head towards the exit. “Well, come on then, let’s get going.” “Hey, Dad?” Everyone turned to see Lemon Zest was on the phone. “I’m good. I was just wondering if I could use the credit card.” She paused for a moment. “Like two fifty.” Another pause. “It’s for the band. We’re like six hours from home and we gotta stay out this way for a few days, so we’re trying to stay in a hotel instead of driving back and forth.” Another pause, and this time everyone looked at each other. No doubt they were all wondering the same thing. “Two nights.” Lemon Zest laughed. “Alright, I’ll tell them. Oh! We got the tour! You think you and Mom… Of course I’ll get you backstage! Anyway, I’ve gotta go tell the others. Thanks so much!” Lemon Zest hung up and smiled to the others. “I got it covered.” She pulled out a black credit card and presented it to the receptionist. “Hey, uh…” Rainbow scratched at the back of her neck. “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but I thought your parents were, you know, dead?” Lemon Zest looked confused. “Why would you think that?” “Well, you know, you never mention them and you live with your grandparents, right?” Lemon Zest chuckled. “Oh, yeah, they moved out of state for work a few years ago. But I was already at Crystal Prep, so we decided to keep me in Everton to get that prestigious education, so I moved in with my grandparents.” “Here you go,” the receptionist said as he handed her back the card. “And here’s your room key. Don’t lose it.” Lemon Zest took both. “I’m not gonna lose it, relax!” She threw the key a foot in the air and failed to catch it. The receptionist groaned as it hit the floor. “How about I take that?” Windfall suggested as he retrieved the key from a blushing Lemon Zest. By Lemon Zest’s dad’s orders, since he paid for the room, everything else was up to the others. So they went on a food and necessities run, which wound up as its own form of celebration. It was fun shopping for the band’s motel room. They made it fun. Constant jokes, a general sense of bravado, stupid shenanigans that got older generations shaking their heads at the young adults. Rainbow Dash bought them dinner for the night, which was pizza, naturally. Fluttershy bought food for the next day – cereal and stuff for sandwiches, then they could figure out dinner when they got there. Lightning Dust, of course, bought them champagne so they could celebrate once they were done with the contracts, as well as soda and water so they’d have non-alcoholic beverages to drink. And, on a whim, they sent in Windfall to grab pads and toiletries so they could prove he was cut out to tour the country with four women. He passed with flying colors. They had a lot of fun on the shopping trip, but even returning with pizza and champagne couldn’t make the rest of the night fun. The contracts were small, but they were dense. It all went over most of their heads, leaving it to Fluttershy to try her best to sort things out most of the time. Which could have eventually gotten them somewhere, maybe, if they had more time to work on it. She slowly deciphered stuff with occasional help from Lemon Zest and Windfall, but they needed an expert. “Do you think Rarity’s good with this shit?” Rainbow asked after a while. She was lying on one of the beds and had the contract propped in front of her, but she couldn’t seem to get through any of it. “She works with contracts for her fashion stuff, right?” “Yeah, but she has people for that,” Fluttershy said. As Rarity grew more popular, she’d started taking on high-end work that involved contracts. But whether it was reading or writing them, she hired someone to do all of that for her. “Anyone from Crystal Prep go to law school?” Rainbow asked. “Tons. None that I know, though.” Lemon Zest flipped back and forth between two pages, then unceremoniously let her head fall onto the table she was sitting at. If only they knew someone in law… Fluttershy blinked. It was true that they didn’t know anyone who worked in law, but they did know someone who was good at everything! “Twilight?” Rainbow shot up. “Oh hell yeah! Call Twilight!” Fluttershy rubbed her eyes, which had gone sore from all the legalese, then retrieved her phone. She quickly found Twilight’s number and dialed it. “Fluttershy?” Twilight said after a moment. “What’s going on?” “Hi, Twilight. I was hoping you could do me a huge favor.” “Okay,” Twilight said slowly. “What, er, did you have in mind?” Considering what she had wanted the last time she had asked for a favor, she understood why Twilight was nervous. “Do you know much about reading contracts?” “Oh. Well, not really. What’s going on?” Fluttershy frowned. It had been a longshot. “Rainbow’s band has a tour opportunity, but we’re hoping someone can look over the contract and make sure we’re not being screwed.” “Well, I certainly don’t know much about the music industry,” Twilight said. “But, well, I have brushed up a little on what a standard researchers contract looks like, just for future reference. I wouldn’t know whether you’re getting ‘screwed’ or not, but if you send it to me, I may be able to translate it into plain English for you. Would that be enough?” “That would be perfect!” Fluttershy said. She flashed a thumbs up to the others, who all cheered. “You have my email address, right?” “Yeah, I’ll see if I can find a scanner in the motel we’re staying at.” “Sounds good.” Fluttershy thanked her again, then hung up the phone. “We need to scan the contracts and send them to Twilight, then she’ll translate them to plain English for us. The front desk might have a scanner, but I don’t want to walk there by myself…” “No problem, I’ll come with you,” Windfall said. Fluttershy smiled appreciatively and led them out the door. Walking outside made her immediately appreciate Windfall’s company; she didn’t like the way some of the other guests’ eyes followed her. “So, uh…” Windfall said as they walked. “Has anyone thought about sleeping arrangements?” Fluttershy smiled. “It’ll be a tight fit.” “Yeah, I was hoping there’d be a couch or something I could crash on, that way it would be two girls to a bed. Now I guess it’s three and two…” “And the beds aren’t huge either…” “Yeah, so… I don’t know, I figured it might be the least weird if I split a bed with either you or Rainbow, since I’ve known you two since middle school.” “Oh.” Fluttershy stopped in her tracks, her breath suddenly short. It was a reasonable point. She knew that. But even so, she couldn’t… “Er, Fluttershy?” Fluttershy shook her head. She tried to form words, but they wouldn’t come. She didn’t even know what words she wanted to come. “Promise I don’t snore much.” Windfall stopped to think for a second. “At least, I don’t think I do.” “It’s… it’s not that.” Windfall frowned. “Right, well, anyway… it was just an idea. Maybe Rainbow won’t mind.” This was stupid. Windfall was her friend, she’d known him back when they were kids. He was a good guy. There was no need to compare him to him. But… he was a guy. No matter how much Fluttershy wished she didn’t care about that, in some ways, she very much did. She was fine being around him, even one on one. She enjoyed spending time with him. She felt safe with him. But he was still a man. And sleeping next to a man? Sharing a bed with a man? She couldn’t. Stormy Skies was gone, and he could never hurt her again. That’s what she told herself constantly. But then, he hadn’t ever truly stopped. “I… I was raped,” Fluttershy said. The words came surprisingly easily. Which was good, because any further words felt like they were barbed, cutting her throat on the way up until they stuck and refused to move any more. Windfall recoiled in surprise, mouth hanging open. “What!? Who…?” Fluttershy shook her head. She managed to speak, but she couldn’t look at him while she did. “It… it doesn’t matter. He’s in jail now.” “Jesus, Shy, I’m so sorry you had to go through that…” He didn’t understand, but she didn’t blame him. No one ever really understood. It wasn’t just something she had gone through, she was still going through it. “There’s always someone new to tell. There’s always some new way it comes back. The nightmares first, then the fear, then…” Fluttershy’s hand moved to her stomach. “Well, there’s just always something there to remind me. It never stops.” “That’s awful… I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have brought that up if I knew…” “You didn’t know, though. And… and neither did I.” Fluttershy sighed. “Realizing I can’t share a bed with a guy no matter how much I trust him is new to me too… There’s always something new.” “That sounds really rough. Do… I understand completely if not, but do you want a hug?” Fluttershy nodded and held out her arms. He wrapped his own arms around her, and Fluttershy felt fine. It was so dumb, they wouldn’t even be this close if they did share a bed, but still, she couldn’t. “You know, I’m always here for you if you want to talk about anything,” Windfall reminded her as they pulled apart. Fluttershy smiled. “I know. I’m usually fine these days, I just… I wanted to tell you. All the girls know, and I guess… I just don’t want this to have to be some dirty secret I have to keep hidden.” Windfall nodded and was clearly walking on eggshells as he spoke. “I don’t know much about this kind of thing, but that sounds good. You’re, you know, not letting it drag you down.” Fluttershy knew he was right, in a way, but it still felt so hard. She felt like she should be ashamed. She wanted to feel ashamed about what happened to her, because that was easier than owning it. How many times? How many times would she have to tell new people by choosing to try and not be ashamed? How many times would that horrible part of her past get dredged up so she could experience the fear and the guilt once again? “Maybe, uh, maybe we should get back to looking for a scanner,” Windfall suggested awkwardly. Fluttershy smiled appreciatively. Having a task at hand helped tremendously. “Right. Let’s go.” An awkward silence hung over them as they resumed walking, but at least it couldn’t last for long. The motel was small, and the walk from the room to the reception was short. They were greeted by the same disinterested stare as they walked in. “Hello,” Fluttershy said cheerfully, hoping to crack through the receptionist’s disinterest in his job. “We were wondering if it was possible to use a computer and scanner to email a document.” “Nope,” he said impassionately. “Don’t have a scanner, and the computer is employee use only.” “Oh…” “Do you know where we might be able to do that then?” Windfall asked. He sighed as if they were asking for a major favor, then spoke as if they were stupid. “The library. But it’s closed now, so you’ll have to wait until morning.” Windfall scowled, so Fluttershy put a hand on his arm to guide him away. “Thank you anyway.” They turned and left, Windfall grumbling the whole way about poor customer service. Fluttershy was only half listening. She agreed, of course, but she’d rather focus on what to do next. She sighed as Windfall paused his ranting. “I guess I’ll take pictures on my phone and hope they’re clear enough for Twilight to read. If not, we’ll just have to rush out to the library first thing in the morning.” Once they were back in the room, Fluttershy set to doing just that. She tried to keep the phone as steady as possible and made sure the documents were in direct lighting, but unfortunately, some of the fine print might have been illegible. It would just have to do, though. She attached the pictures to a text message to Twilight and explained the situation. At least Twilight was prompt. Within minutes, she texted back, promising to do her best. Fluttershy sent her thanks and smiled in the satisfaction that they’d done all they could for the day. Although something stopped her from telling Lightning to get out the champagne. Something she still needed to do while her phone was out, but which she dreaded. She moved to one of the beds and dialed Sunset’s number. She had no idea what she’d say, and she couldn’t force herself to think of anything as it rang. “Fluttershy?” Sunset said, voice a mix of relief and concern. “Are you okay?” “I’m fine,” Fluttershy said. She was better than fine really. Or at least, she would be if Sunset defied her expectations of her. But ‘I’m fine’ was all she could manage to say at the moment, so it would have to do. “Where are you? I’ve been worried.” “Riftonstone. We –” “Riftonstone!? What the fuck are you doing way out there?” The relief was fading from Sunset’s voice, leaving only worry and something more sinister that was brewing. “I’m trying to explain that,” Fluttershy said, doing her best to keep her growing irritation from her voice. “Remember the talent scout from the concert? He called me back. We have a spot on a nation-wide tour as the opening act. We had to go to Riftonstone to get the contracts today.” “Okay, hold on. Please tell me you didn’t sign anything.” “Not yet, we just –” “Fluttershy, you know what people say about things that are too good to be true. Nothing from this guy for months and suddenly he whisks you away to get you under contract? This is a scam!” “It’s not a scam! And even if it is, we’ll figure that out. We have the contracts and we’re looking them over before signing. I’m not an idiot, Sunset.” “I never said you are!” “No, you just think if I do something without your help it’s going to fail! I can do this, Sunset. I can do this, all on my own.” In a rare instance of turned tables, it seemed Fluttershy had caught Sunset off guard. “I… No, wait. You’re putting words into my mouth. I just said –” “That this is stupid. That this whole thing is going to fail. That we’re just a band in a dead genre and anyone who says otherwise is trying to scam us. And that we’d just let ourselves get scammed because without you on our side, we’ll just sign for anyone who says nice things about us.” “I didn’t –” “Don’t you dare fucking say you didn’t say that! You’ve been saying it for months, you’re just good at dressing up those words so they sound nicer!” “Tch. So I’m the bad guy then. It’s all me, it’s not you running off without a word whenever things get a little hard, it’s not you putting me second when I always put you first. I try my damndest to build a life for us and all you’ve been doing is what you want!” “You’re right.” Fluttershy had tears rolling down her face. “You’re right, Sunny, and I’m so so sorry about that. But… you’re not my first choice anymore.” There was a silence on the phone line as if the words took longer than an instant to reach Sunset. Perhaps they did. When she did speak, Sunset’s voice was quiet and hollow, all trace of anger gone. “When are you coming back?” “I… seven months. The tour ends in seven months.” “That’s a long time.” Even with that, Sunset didn’t sound upset. She was just stating a fact. One Fluttershy couldn’t disagree with. “I know.” “So… what about us, then?” Fluttershy knew exactly what she meant, but she didn’t want to think that thought through. She wished Sunset hadn’t said anything, that they could get by without ever addressing what this meant for them, that they could just let things be whatever they were without ever needing to talk about it. But she didn’t have that choice. She’d already made her choice, and now she’d have to deal with its consequences. “I think we need this time apart.” “I really don’t think that’s true.” God damn it, why couldn’t she just sound upset? “I think this will destroy us.” Maybe it would. Maybe there was nothing left to destroy, everything that had been lost in a fatal car crash. “I think… I think I need this. For me.” “And you expect me to just accept that?” “No.” Fluttershy bowed her head. “But it’s what I’m doing.” “I can’t believe this. We mean more than this, Shy.” “I know. I… I should go. Bye, Sunset.” “Wait, don’t –” Fluttershy hung up the phone. Of course, everyone was looking at Fluttershy. All other talk went dead during the argument, and no one rushed to fill the silence now. Eventually, it was Fluttershy who made the first sound, but it wasn’t with words. She was well-practiced in crying silently, but it was a feat she couldn’t manage this time. Soft whimpers left her lips as tears left her eyes. Within moments, Rainbow was at her side. She didn’t say anything, just sat beside her and hugged her. Soon Lemon Zest did the same, sitting on her other side. Windfall was next, then Lightning Dust, even if she looked out of her depth. None of them said anything, which was good. There were no words Fluttershy wanted to hear. But they were all there, each one ready to be her shoulder to cry on. But Fluttershy didn’t want to cry, not now. This was supposed to be a big day for them, no matter what happened with her. She wanted it to still be a big day for them, she needed this to be a good day. She wiped her eyes and didn’t even try to force a smile. “W-We should open the champagne.” Everyone looked at each other, then to Rainbow. An unspoken agreement that Rainbow knew Fluttershy best and she should be the one to sort this out. “Shy, are you sure?” she asked. “I mean… That was pretty intense.” Fluttershy held Rainbow’s eyes. “I’m sure. I… I want to remember this as a happy day.” “Well… okay then.” Rainbow nodded to Lightning Dust, who got up to get the champagne. She passed out plastic champagne flutes to everyone. Fluttershy had never drunk from one of those before, and was interested in the novelty of it. She tried to find little things like that to keep focused on the positive. She was with friends, and they had taken an important step towards their future. Now they were celebrating, and Fluttershy was trying new things with them. “Let’s have a toast,” Lightning said once she’d filled everyone’s flutes. “To Fluttershy, best punk rock manager there ever was!” “To Fluttershy!” the others all echoed, causing her to smile. She took her first drink of champagne, enjoying the bubbly sensation. It was a cold comfort, but even then, Fluttershy didn’t doubt her choice. “Okay, what the hell are you doing?” Lightning Dust hissed. “Sorry!” Lemon Zest whispered back. “I didn’t mean to, I was asleep.” “So was I, until you decided spooning was a great idea!” “I wasn’t spooning you, I just… my arm slipped. I’m sorry.” Fluttershy lifted her head to see if anyone else was awake. She could hear Rainbow snoring from the other bed, which poor Windfall somehow seemed to be sleeping through. She turned back to Lemon Zest and Lightning Dust. “Uhm, are you two okay?” “We’re fine,” Lemon Zest insisted. “We would be if Zest stopped trying to cuddle me.” When Fluttershy had slept at Lemon Zest’s house, she had a giant stuffed teddy bear that she kept between them. She had thought it was just a barrier to give them each their own space, but when Fluttershy woke up in the morning, she found Lemon Zest clinging to it. “Here, switch places with me,” Fluttershy said to Lightning Dust. “Gladly.” “I said sorry!” Lemon Zest tried, but Lightning was already climbing over Fluttershy. As soon as she was in place, Lightning turned her back to the others and resumed trying to sleep. Lemon Zest stared at the ceiling, seemingly embarrassed by the whole thing. “You okay?” Fluttershy asked. “Yeah.” Fluttershy suppressed a giggle, not wanting to disturb the others. “Not used to sleeping alone, huh?” Lemon Zest hid her head in her hands and spoke even quieter, no doubt not wanting Lightning Dust to hear. “It’s so dumb… I’ve had that bear since I was like nine…” This time, Fluttershy didn’t manage to fully suppress a giggle. “Hey, don’t laugh…” “No, it’s cute,” Fluttershy insisted. “And, uhm… I don’t mind. If… if you need someone to cuddle.” “I… should try to sleep.” “Okay. Good night, Zesty.” “Good night, Shy.” Fluttershy closed her eyes and hoped her comment didn’t make Lemon Zest feel awkward. As far as she could tell, none of her friends cared about sharing a bed with a lesbian, but an invitation to cuddle was another matter entirely… But before too long, she got a different answer. Lemon Zest’s arm found its way over her stomach, which caused Fluttershy to smile. She placed her hand on Lemon Zest’s. “Sorry,” Lemon Zest muttered, then tried to pull her arm away. Fluttershy kept it in place, however. “It’s fine Zesty. Good night.” Lemon Zest hesitated, then scooted a little closer. “Night.” It was nice. Like being with Pinkie on the day Fluttershy got Bitchette the New Year’s show, it was just nice to be so close to someone. It didn’t have to mean anything, it was just a way to enjoy another friend’s presence. She closed her eyes and Rainbow’s snoring faded away, as did Lightning Dust’s presence in the bed on Fluttershy’s other side. Soon, even Lemon Zest faded away, only leaving the sensation of being near her. It wasn’t exactly the same. Maybe it was because Lemon Zest was too small. Maybe it was the way she smelled. Maybe it was just because the motel bed was crowded and stiff. But somehow, it wasn’t exactly the same. But it was close enough. When it was what she needed, it was close enough to Sunset. So she pretended, fooled her brain as much as she could. She was back in Sunset’s bed, she was cuddling up against her. Everything was still okay, somehow. It didn’t last long. No matter what she did, something would happen. Lemon Zest would make a slight noise, or she’d run her fingers across Lemon Zest’s hand and realize it was the wrong size. Something would happen and the dream would crumble. “Fluttershy, are you crying?” Lemon Zest asked. As quietly as she could, Fluttershy took a deep breath. “I’m… I’m okay…” “Shy…” “Shh.” Fluttershy jerked her head towards Lightning Dust. Lemon Zest shifted, pulling Fluttershy closer to her. Fluttershy buried her face in the other girl’s shoulder and cried softly while Lemon Zest rubbed her back. It wasn’t even close enough, not really. But it was what she had, so it would have to do. Through her tears, Fluttershy tried to find sleep in Lemon Zest’s arms while pretending she was with someone else. ‘Good night, Sunny.’