//------------------------------//
// Chapter 59 - There's Something Different About You 
// Story: Off The Mark 
// by Goldfur 
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Aside from my regular weekend visits to Ponyville, I did not have the time to spare to check on the craziness that happened during the fortnight which the locals have started calling the Last Laugh Festival.  I did get to read Rainbow’s records on how many ponies (and surprisingly some other species) tried their luck with the poison joke.  There were 237 victims of the flower’s curse, although I suspect a lot more had been successfully turned away by the Royal Guard patrols.  And not all of them could truly be called victims either.  Not long after the idiots started flooding in, a few of the more curious and daring Ponyville residents decided it would be fun to find out in what strange way they would be affected by the magical plant.  Bolstered by the knowledge that there was a cure readily available, two slightly drunken stallion and mare couples headed into the forest, each egging the other on.

Berryshine grew butterfly wings.  Not large ones capable of giving her flight though – insect-sized ones that apparently did nothing.  That is until she started getting mobbed by butterflies with the same wing pattern. It took Fluttershy to identify that they were all males attracted to the female butterfly pheromones that the mare was oozing copiously.

Woodwind Warble was a talented unicorn musician, but he didn’t much like the tunes his horn played after getting the curse.  Every time he used magic, his horn emitted fart noises, and not just one kind.  A whole symphony of sounds from long high-pitched whistles to cheek-shuddering blasts.  Kind of sorry I missed witnessing that one!

Candy Mane’s tail grew as fast as she walked, leaving a two-tone pink trail all the way from the forest to the spa.  I heard that the Crusaders had gathered much of the tail hair. What they plan to do with it, I shudder to think.

The pegasus of the group, Chromatic Tone, found his hooves would light up different colors when they struck the ground.  At the same time, they would let out a random note from a concert instrument.  Flapping his wings once would change which instrument it was.  Too bad every note was a wavering, out-of-tune monstrosity.

One of the earliest on Rainbow’s list of non-Ponyville citizens was intriguing. Jet Set had apparently sought to regain some credibility in the foolish expectation that a noble would deserve something better than a mere upstart who had gotten lucky.  Instead, he got some poetic justice.  I now have in my office a framed 8” x 12” glossy print that Rainbow Dash provided of Jet Set, complete with his very large jackass ears.  I regret that I wasn’t there that day. Apparently, his aural appendages weren’t the only thing affected.  Every time he tried to speak, only braying came out.  My devoted subjects pretended that they misunderstood what he was trying to ask, so it took him all day to find out that the spa was where to get the cure.  At least Dash gave me a discount on a bulk run of the prints so I could pass them out to everypony at court.

There were a few stories that Rainbow insisted telling me about in person.  When the Royal Carriage had almost reached Ponyville station on Saturday morning, I heard a series of rapid knocks on the window.  Looking over, I saw Rainbow Dash was frowning at me as she matched the train’s velocity.

With a grin, I lowered the window sash.  “Just a bit impatient, are we today, Rainbow?”

“You’re darn right I am.  I didn’t wake up early to wait for you to laze the day away.  Now c’mon!”

I chuckled.  “Can’t I wait for the train to stop first?”

“No.  You used to have an excuse, sort of, when ponies outside of Ponyville didn’t know your secret.  You don’t even have that anymore.”  She did a couple of quick, tight loops outside the window.  “Let’s go!  Time to stretch those wings!”  The pegasus looked back in the cabin.  “Oh. Hey, Trixie!  I’m stealing Mark for some flying practice.”

Trixie waved a hoof dismissively but didn’t bother to look up from her newspaper.

I had an evil thought.  First the barb.  “Penumbra, would you please carry my luggage to Friendship Castle?”

The batpony snorted.  “Not my job and you know it.  I’ll be coming with you.”

Now the dare.  I said, “Yeah, but we’ll be going pretty fast and furious.”

“Not a problem.  I can keep up with you two even on a bad day.”

Gotcha.  I smiled at Rainbow as I turned into my short-maned Marklestia body.  The rainbow-maned mare narrowed her eyes. Her voice was dangerously level. “I think that was a challenge.”

I shook my head.  “I’ve promised to stay within sight of my foalsitter, but that sounded like she was up for trying to match our aerobatics.”

“Well, OK then!”  Rainbow zipped away and I headed to the front of the train.  I gave a quick peck to my wife with a “See you at lunch.”  Then a light punch of Penny’s shoulder with a “Good luck.”  Seconds later, I was following a receding rainbow-colored streak gaining altitude over the Everfree Forest.

Rainbow and I attempted to push our speed and maneuverability to the absolute limit.  I spun out of turns a half dozen times and even Rainbow lost control twice.  By the time the blue mare and I landed on a grassy knoll about a half-mile north of the forest, both of us were panting and sweating heavily.  I suppose the high-intensity flying was not terribly fair for Penumbra.  She was encumbered with armor and a few weapons and had gamely tried to follow our lead… for a short while.  She collapsed onto the ground nearby and her sides heaved like bellows in a blacksmith’s shop.

Rainbow’s hooves were shaking a bit from the exertion, but you couldn’t tell from her voice.  With a wicked grin, she said, “OK, I’m good.  Ready for round two?”

A groan was the answer from Penumbra.  I winked to the pegasus.  “Nah.  You said you had some special poison joke tales to tell.”

“Oh yeah!  Did I tell you I personally rescued a couple of dozen ponies that couldn’t get out of the forest?  But did I get any thanks from them?  Noooooo. Of course not.”  She settled down next to me and put her wing on my back. “Anyways, an earth pony stallion named Bright Spark tried his luck.  He started building up a static charge that was awesome!  He had kind of a long coat and his hairs stood out straight from his body. What was more impressive was that his mane and tail did the same thing!  True to his name, when he shorted out by getting too close to somepony or something touching the ground, a tiny bolt of lightning would shoot out from him and he’d start building up a charge again.  Both he and any pony he got too close to got an unpleasant jolt out of it.”

Her smile turned predatory.  “Of course, since I have to wrangle lightning on occasion, I had to investigate.  Turns out that touching him while hovering made me just as static-y, which I used to surprise-shock every pony I could find!”  Her grin was infectious.  “Yep.  Had to cement my reputation as the Ponyville Queen of Pranks!”

Then her smile fell.  “Except for Twilight.  She hardly ever goes outside during the day, so when I saw her reading a book and heading into town, I glided in behind her, only to smack into a shield she threw up!” Her wings twitched.  “I mean, I can be super quiet when I want to be. But she still caught me every time I got close!  I don’t get it.”

I chuckled.  “Twilight has been taking lessons in situational awareness as directed by Crimson Boulder.  He recruited a bunch of ponies to catch her when she least expects it.  For the first few weeks, she was getting pelted regularly by water balloons from everywhere and everywhen:  Night Court, walking around Canterlot, even when she was sleeping in her bed at Friendship Castle.  Once she could sense things coming and stop the balloons from hitting her, Crimson allowed Twilight to use spells to augment her senses.”

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes.  “Yeah, that’s nice.  The Queen still needs to prank every last pony, though.”

I jumped when Penumbra suddenly spoke up from where she had snuck up behind us.  “Twilight is still pretty bad at detecting anypony approaching her at night.”  My bodyguard didn’t sound tired in the slightest.

Getting control of my heart, I tried to keep my voice level. “Well, look who recovers quickly.”

Rainbow said, “Nah.  She was play-acting the whole time.”  The blue mare then looked at me.  “You didn’t know?”

I frowned at the batpony.  Penny helpfully said, “Nope.  Crimson thinks Mark isn’t ready yet to go through the same training.  Foal’s steps first.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose with a hoof.  “So what other stories have you been waiting to tell me?”

That brightened her mood.  “Well, the weirdest one was a fashion model named Violet Shores.  After taking a bite, she turned into a female draconequus!  Couldn’t work chaos magic, though.”

I grinned.  “And what did Fluttershy’s stallionfriend do?”

The pegasus laughed.  “Discord waved a pamphlet above his head as he chased her all over town… Wait!  I had to write down what he kept saying.”  She pulled a piece of paper from her mane, unfolded it and read aloud.  “ ‘But, Miss! If you would only give me a few minutes of your time to tell you about the health benefits of Blue-Green Algae. What’s more, there’s huge income potential if you join my distribution network!’ ”

It was my turn to laugh.  When I was done, I was facing two confused mares.  Rainbow asked, “So what does that mean, anyway?”

“It’s something truly nefarious from my world.  Best if you never know.”

Rainbow paused.  “So that means it’s bad?”

I nodded.  “Flim-and-Flam-level bad.”

“Huh.”  The pegasus craned her neck and looked past me.  She then smiled and faced me again.  “And here’s the last story I wanted to tell you – sneaking up on you when you weren’t looking.”

A shadow fell over all of us.  I turned around to see a purple sea serpent grinning down at me from his standard lofty heights as he crested the hill.  He waved so enthusiastically that his mullet hairstyle rocked back and forth.  “Hi, Mark!”

“Great to see you again, Steven!”  The gigantic denizen of Everfree Forest could give Fluttershy a serious challenge as the nicest being in Equestria.  “I’m always glad to see my favorite sea serpent.  Rainbow was just telling me about ponies and their transformations these last two weeks.  Don’t tell me you ate poison joke, too!”

He actually blushed and looked very demure.  “No.  But… well… let me introduce you to Lucky.”  He held out a hand and a blue sea serpent with kinky yellow hair came up to take it.

She bowed shyly and said, “H.. Hello, Your Highness.”

Well, well.  Maybe not everything that happened was bad or fed into Rainbow’s schemes for pranks. “Just call me Mark when I’m not in Court, Miss Lucky.  I take it there’s a story here.”

Lucky shrank a bit but her smile didn’t waver.  Steven gave her hand a little squeeze.  “Go ahead, dear.  Mark is a good friend of mine.  An absolute heart of gold.”  His eyes radiated care and encouragement.

She cleared her throat.  “Well, I suppose I should tell you my pony name.  It’s Rancid Luck.  My parents were gamblers and… let’s just say life for a pudgy earth pony mare who keeps having terrible things happen to her was… well… I didn’t get much joy out of it. So hearing about how poison joke worked, I thought I would give it a try.  I mean, how much worse could my luck get?”  Lucky looked up to Steven and he nodded for her to continue.

“Well, after the first few mouthfuls of poison joke, I turned into this. I started screaming and panicking. I couldn’t even figure out how to move. I was still thrashing about when I heard a terrible crashing noise coming through the forest directly at me. I closed my eyes and waited for the end, only to hear…”  She looked up to the male sea serpent with a smile.

Steven picked up from there.  “ ‘Oh, you poor dear.  Please let me help you.’ ”

Lucky said, “He was just so kind and gentle.  I tried to fuss over the cuts and bruises he got smashing a straight line through the forest to get to me, but he insisted on taking care of me first.”  She sighed. “He supported me so I could move around and head towards the spa where I knew there was the cure.  It was slow going, so we had a chance to talk and get to know each other.  But there was something he said that made me stop in my… uh… coils.”

Steven again took his cue and looked a bit bashful. “Well.  I’m afraid I got a little cross.”  I blinked.  I hadn’t thought that was possible.

He continued.  “I said, ‘No, no.  I don’t want to know what has happened to you in your life.  That doesn’t tell me who you are.  I want to know if you like sunsets.  What ice cream flavor do you like best?  How do you feel when you hear your favorite music?  Let me get to know Lucky.’ ”

The former mare beamed.  “Nopony… no one had ever shown interest in me before.  And I really didn’t want to go back to what I was – to the life I had.”  She gave Steven a quick kiss, which made him blush again.  “So now I’m going to just see where Harmony leads me.”

I stared up at the two.  “I’m very happy for you both.  You two deserve all the joy in the world.”  My smile slipped a bit when they didn’t respond, staring into each other’s eyes instead.

Rainbow said, “Hello?  Equus to Steven?”  It was no use.  They had disappeared into their own world.

I unfurled my wings.  “Ah, well.  They’re obviously busy.  I’m sure we’ll see them again soon.”  The other two mares followed my lead and we quietly flew away.  A glance over my shoulder showed the sea serpents in the same pose—still lost in their love for each other.

Between our aerial dancing, Rainbow told me of several other interesting poison joke curses.  She’d had to carry a stallion with a rusty-gray coat who had been frozen like a statue.  She might never have realized he was alive if he hadn’t kept repeating “Oil can” when she was in earshot. 

One unicorn mare ended up with masses of flowers growing out of her coat, but while that was bad enough, she had to run from swarms of bees attracted to the sweet-smelling pony every time she got close to the spa.

A rather vain mare who was excessively proud of her long-legged looks found out that having giraffe-length legs did not work well on a pony.  She also had a heck of a time trying to get into the spa like that!

One pegasus lost all of his feathers.  His plucked chicken-wings were so embarrassing to him that he tried to sneak through Ponyville, only to run into the Crusaders.  Naturally, he quickly became the center of attention for half the population.

Then there was the unicorn whose coat color constantly changed with every step he took.  That was bad enough but it wasn’t just one hue but often several badly clashing colors or even polka-dots.

The town gossip from Whitetail Village was turned mute.  There was a rumor that the villagers were quietly trying to acquire some of Zecora’s poison joke potion.  Not sure if that was true or not, but I could empathize in any case.

But I think my favorite was the postal worker, Rainy Day, who actually succeeded in becoming an alicorn… at least, technically-speaking.  Do penguin wings and giraffe horns count? Rainbow had a photo of the mare with the caption: “Equestria’s Newest Princess” on it. Oddly enough, she never came to claim her crown.





The speed of a change due to poison joke was dependent on the degree of exposure.  That was why Zecora’s potion worked within a second or two while ponies who had only touched the flower didn’t transform for half a day or even overnight as had happened to my friends.  The idiots who munched on several flowers usually were affected within minutes, while those who just had a nibble might not learn their fate for an hour.

Some ponies were accidentally affected.  The Royal Guard squads sent to evict or rescue the ones trying their luck occasionally got contaminated by those ponies.  Of course, the Guards got prompt free treatment and were none the worse for the experience.  However, one did not normally hear of anypony actually enjoying it.

I had done away with the use of the anonymizing enchantment on the Guard armor within the palace and its grounds.  I felt it was unnecessary and even counterproductive if an imposter slipped through security, and I was tired of trying to guess who I was talking to by subtle clues.  I liked to be able to greet the Guards by name and maybe even have a chat with some of them.  I made it a point to know every one of the Guardponies who worked hard to make our lives easier and more secure.

Thus, I was slightly taken aback when I failed to identify a pegasus stallion on watch in the hallway outside the royal suite one morning, although his face was tantalizingly familiar.  I paused and stared at him for a long moment.

“Can I help you, Your Highness?” he asked.

Even his voice seemed like I should know who it belonged to. “What’s your name, soldier?”

“Golden Gleam, Sire.”

I momentarily blinked in confusion.  “Didn’t you used to be a mare?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“And…?”

“Poison joke.”

“I see.  You do know that you may request to be relieved in order to be cured, don’t you?”

“Yes, Sire, but I do not require curing.”

“Oh?  Why not?”

“Gender dysphoria – I was a stallion born into the body of a mare. Now, I am what I should be.”

“Ah, I see.  When did this happen?”

“I got up this morning to prepare for my shift.  Went to the barracks bathroom to shower and was promptly chased out by the mares.  Woke up enough to realize that I had changed overnight.  After dragging myself away from the mirror in the stallion’s bathroom, I made my way to the armory to exchange my uniform armor for something that fit my new body.  Then my watch started.”

I grinned.  “Going to celebrate when you get off-duty?”

“Like no pony ever celebrated before, Your Highness,” he replied with a hint of a smile.

“Take the next day off with my permission.  You’re going to need it,” I said with a chuckle.

“Thank you, Sire.”

“Carry on.”  I continued on my way, speculating whether the poison joke curse had backfired, or if Harmony had corrected a mistake that day.





Arranging a visit by Chryssy from her home dimension had not been the only inter-world travelling we had been doing lately.  After I had caught out Twilight making several trips to the House Path dimension, I promised I’d not bug her about it anymore if she did me a favor.  Okay – I pretty much blackmailed her.  I wouldn’t let Twilight have her fun if she didn’t let me do the same.

During the entire time-battle with Starlight Glimmer, Twilight had gotten to meet various iterations of herself, whereas I had encountered none of mine for various reasons.  I was not only incredibly curious but I also figured that my alternate selves might have some insights into our situation to share.  So I arranged a meet-up.  Fortunately, just as Twilight had the camera from Chryssy’s dimension to get a fix on it, we had both acquired souvenirs or gifts from several other worlds that were used to create portals to return to those places.  Twilight could also open portals blindly and she figured that she would do some exploring sometime in the future, but for now, she stuck with the known safe destinations.

She informed me that she had managed to arrange to bring four Marks to her castle next Saturday.  “I aimed for as many different versions of you as I could within my time constraints. I think you’ll find them all fascinating.  Each of them is just as curious as you are to meet the others.”

So, I waited in the hallway outside the room which Twilight had set aside for her portals.  She made me stay out because she feared I’d stumble into something and break it. Rude, but not totally unjustified. I didn’t have to wait long before the first visitor exited.  He was my spitting image but would never be mistaken for me because he was a unicorn instead of a pegasus.

“Whoa!  Wings! Aren’t you afraid of heights like me?” he asked as he offered me his hoof.

I gave him a hoofshake as I replied, “You know if you’re like me that it’s a reasonable fear due to clumsiness and not a phobia.  Once I had received some flying lessons and I got confident in the air, that fear went away.  For the first few weeks though, I would have happily traded them away for a horn like yours.”

He nodded.  “Can’t say I blame you.  I don’t know how I could have got along without magic to help me do things.  Although, now that I’ve met you, obviously you figured it out.”

“Yeah, but I still miss my fingers.  If I’m really desperate, I now have an alternative though.”

“Oh?  What’s that?”

“First, I have to ask if you have a special ability that you prefer to keep a secret?”

“A bit vague, but I don’t believe I can do anything that you may be obliquely referring to.”

I grinned.  “Good. I’ll show you later.  Another of us is arriving.”

This newcomer was hard to miss.  He easily stood twice as tall as us, but that was due mostly to him being a biped.  Without something to directly compare to him, I still guessed that he was a little taller than my human self due to the different foot/hoof structure.  He had to be double our mass too.  This Mark was an anthropomorphic pegasus whom I would bet was mated to the boobalicious Trixie that I had encountered during our time battle.  He chuckled at seeing us.

“I knew I would be meeting quadruped versions of me after seeing your Twilight Sparkle, but it’s still amusing to see cute four-hooved ponies like you two.”

“You lucky bastard – you got hands!” unicorn Mark commented.

“What are you complaining about?  You got a horn,” Goliath pointed out.

“Which took me months to get competent enough with to be useful. And this guy didn’t even have that!” Unimark waved a hoof in my direction.

Trying to keep my view above anthro Mark’s waist level, I said, “At least I didn’t have to look at naked bipeds with all their junk on display. I notice that you seem fine with being nude though.”

“You get used to anything after a while.  I did try wearing clothes at first, but I soon realized that ponies were staring at me more because I was dressed in weird clothes. However, as soon as I got the nerve to strip off, I essentially became just another pony.  Still felt drafty for a long time though.”





Just then, another being emerged from the portal room.  To my astonishment, he was a griffon!  This had to be another Mark Wells though because he had feathers of the exact same shade of green as mine, while his leonine rear half was a match for my yellow mane and tail.  He looked us over and chuckled.

“Looks like I got to be the cool creature,” Mark Griff said.

“What makes you think that?” Unimark asked, unimpressed.

“Oh, I dunno.  Maybe it’s the talons or this powerhouse bod,” he replied smugly.

“And how many times did you embarrass yourself in front of other griffons while trying to learn how to fly?” I asked.

Mark Griff blushed.  Seems that weird ability worked for griffons too.  “Too many,” he muttered.

Knowing griffon arrogance, I was pretty sure this Mark was probably a laughing stock if he lived among them.  Come to think of it, Twilight probably wouldn’t have found him easily if he didn’t live among ponies either in Canterlot or Ponyville, so I could imagine his actual status among the griffon community.

Before I could inquire further, the fourth and final guest turned up. Twilight accompanied a pegasus almost exactly like me, but a tad smaller, a much longer mane, somewhat larger wings, and slightly softer features.  I suddenly realized that this was a mare and I could guess which dimension she had come from.

“Hi!  Would I be correct in assuming that you’re the wife of a stallion named Trixie whom we met several weeks ago?”

She nodded and smiled.  “Yes, I am.  When Trixie told me about your visit, I was very sorry that I had missed you.  I’m glad to get the opportunity to meet you. Now I see that you’re not even close to being the strangest version of me that’s around.”

“I have to know something.  What was it like turning up as a mare in Equestria?” I asked.

“Probably exactly the same as it was for you.  Twilight commented on how similar my world is to yours.”

“No, what I meant was how you dealt with the gender-swap.”

The mare blinked in confusion.  “Huh?  What gender-swap?”

I gestured at the other Marks.  “We all ended up in differing forms but still male.”

Realization dawned on the mare and she started laughing.  “No – I’ve always been female.  I was a woman back on Earth.”

Oops.  Serves me right for making assumptions.  “My apologies – I should have known better.”

Mare Mark shrugged.  “You’re a stallion – I’m used to it.”

I shook my head.  “Actually, I have far less excuse than that.  I’ll show you why later, unless you can do something that other ponies can’t do but I can.”

She gave me a curious look.  “Sounds like a story there.”

“Yeah, but let’s go to the Great Hall and make ourselves comfortable so we can chat.  Spike has prepared some snacks for us.  He can even dig up something a bit more carnivorous for the beaky one,” I added with a smirk to the griffon.

“Great!  Lead on!” Mark Griff declared unabashed.





Twilight did the actual leading but two of them already knew the way as it seemed that her castle was a constant for the griffon and unicorn Marks.

Because the visitors were all alternate world versions of me, I presumed that they all had the same tastes as me too, so foods that I particularly liked were prepared in advance.  Of course, we hadn’t taken a griffon into account, but as Twilight occasionally played host to them, she did have something appropriate for the cat-birds in storage.  It didn’t take long for Spike to whip up a snack for Mark Griff who nibbled on pony food while he waited.  Also, being a dragon, Spike didn't have a pony’s aversion to handling or preparing meat. That saved my bacon more than once… well, not really.  Usually, it was just fish.

When everyone including Twilight and Spike were comfortable, I said, “I suppose that as the host of this get-together, I should be the one to tell you about myself first.  Then you can each relate your versions and see how we differ.”

“Sounds good to me,” Unimark said.

The others nodded agreement and I took a swig of my drink before I started.

I told them every relevant detail including the embarrassing ones.  Going by Twilight’s experience with her alternate selves, our personalities and foibles were basically the same and they wouldn’t mock me for anything that they could easily have done, and may indeed have done, in identical circumstances. When I got to the part about the poison joke though, even they had to laugh.  All except mare Mark, I noticed.

“What possessed you to try eating those flowers?” Anthromark asked.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.  I’d learned that ponies liked to eat flowers and tasted several before, so I experimented.”

Mark Griff chuckled.  “I’d give a hundred bits to see that.”

“You’re on!” I replied.  I stood up and transformed into full-maned Marklestia.

Two jaws and one beak practically scraped the floor, and even the mare was surprised this time.  I gave them one of my best fashion model poses and said, “What do you think, boys?”

“Holy crap!” Unimark said.  “I’m quite familiar with Celestia and you’re the spitting image of her except for your cutie mark.  You sound like her, too!”

I grinned and nodded.  “Yes, I’ve met a few versions of her in various dimensions.  She finds it very amusing to have an identical twin sister. She’s kind of jealous of the one trick that I can do though that she can’t.”  I switched to my preferred short-mane and tail version.

Unimark stared and blushed.  Suddenly I got the feeling that perhaps he might be more than just familiar with his Celestia and I felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze, so I switched back to my pegasus self.

“You owe me a hundred bits,” I told the griffon.

“Worth it,” he replied.  “How did you do that though?”

“That part is coming up.”  I continued my tale and stunned them with how I defeated Tirek and gained the ability to change my form at will.  Once again, the mare didn’t react like the others and I was determined that she would be the next one to tell her story.  I was sure that there would be some very interesting differences between our lives in Equestria.  Eventually, I caught up to the present day and I turned to mare Mark.

“By the way, I never asked, but is your name Mark or something more feminine?”

She grinned.  “You’re making assumptions again.  Mark is a female name, just like Phil, Robert, or Edward.  Boys’ names are Trixie, Gilda, Sally, Anne, and so forth.”

“That’s so weird,” I said.

She nodded.  “I know. That’s how I felt when I learned about all these worlds where I am male.”

“I’m going to call you Marek just to stop the confusion,” I said with a smirk.

“You’re an ass,” she replied.

“Takes one to know one, right?”

She giggled but didn’t deny it.

“How about you tell your version next?”

“Okay, although it’s surprising how similar our stories are up to a point.  Like you, I fell through the mirror portal and smashed the one at the Equestrian end. I was brought before Prince Trixie and became his advisor.  However, he took a personal liking to me sooner than your Trixie apparently did, presumably because there’s a far greater pressure on the stallions to gain the interest of the limited number of mares and I was very much available. Well, just as your Trixie’s personality appealed to you, so did mine.  We became an item much faster than you did, but other than getting married sooner, I’d say that our relationship has been much the same.  I made the same mistake as you and ate some poison joke. I transformed into Prince Celestia in Twilight’s laboratory too.  And yes, Rarity had me modelling his stallion fashions too.  Like you, I found that repeated doses of poison joke extract would consistently turn me back into Marklestia.  However, I can’t transform whenever I want like you can.”

“That came as a consequence of being saturated in Equestrian magic barfed up by Tirek.  Did your history go another way?”

“Yes, it did.  Right up until getting the emetic into Tirek, the plan was working.  At the last moment, things went wrong.  Tirek knocked me unconscious with a slap of her hand and we had to go to the back-up plan.”

As Chrysalis had learned, if I had failed to get the emetic into Tirek, Zecora was hidden in a covered pit nearby with non-magical weapons at her disposal.  Three sets of three darts, each with a different poison that would kill Tirek over the course of no more than a day.  Because ponies always strove to capture rather than kill, it was our last resort which, thankfully, we hadn’t needed to use.

“You were forced to kill Tirek instead,” I said softly.

Marek nodded.  “Equestria got its magic back and I got to feel guilty as hell.  And that’s why I can’t transform at will like you.  I still do some fashion shows with Rarity though, but I have to use the potion each time.”

“I’ve got some of that potion still sitting around since I don’t need it anymore.  Would you care to show your other self off?”

Marek blushed.  “I could, but I get a rush of testosterone whenever I transform, so for the first minute, I kind of swing in the wind, if you know what I mean?”

Anthromark chuckled.  “Lady – you don’t know the half of it.  Wait until I tell you all about suddenly being a naked stallion in a country full of hot nude mares!”

Marek managed a smirk.  “I get your point.  Okay, I’ll do it.”

I turned to Twilight who had been quietly listening all this time. “Could you…?”

A bottle popped into existence and hovered in front of me and a scroll, quill, and lab goggles next to Twilight.  I noticed a very eager look on the alicorn’s face.  I chuckled to myself.  Nothing turned on this mare more than Science!

I took the flask out of the air and passed it to the mare.  She hesitated for a moment before unstoppering it and taking a swig.  The concentrated poison joke did its job and a moment later, a stallion Celestia stood before us.  An extremely well-hung stallion.  Alicorn-level, you might even say.  Rapidly growing a boner.  Can’t say we weren’t warned.

Living among nude ponies, you get used to seeing the occasional unwanted stiffy in public, especially among pubescent colts who really can’t help themselves, so I didn’t let that distract me for long and took in his other features.  He still had the multi-colored mane and tail but trimmed to a more masculine style. His musculature was also more defined and his features squarer.  A glance at Twilight showed her practically drooling over the stallion.  I stood corrected.  Apparently, there was one thing that could turn her on more than Science. Her husband was probably going to fulfill some guilty pleasure tonight.

“Well, what do you think?” male Marklestia asked in a deep and very masculine voice.  He blushed a little as he held his wings to conceal the embarrassing spectacle.





I replied, “I’d say that I was jealous that you got to be male except that I quite enjoy being female as Marklestia.  Is the reverse true for you too?”

“Yeah, it is.  Once I get the erection under control, I like to visit around Ponyville like you do.  I still prefer stallions though.”

That was consistent with how poison joke affected me.  It made us comfortable in our new forms but didn’t change our basic nature.  “Do you want to continue your story like that, or would you prefer taking the cure first?”

He shrugged and settled down on his belly.  “I’m comfortable like this for the moment.  Not that there’s much more to tell you because it’s virtually the same as your story.”

“What about your wedding to Trixie?  Was it as crazy as mine?”

“Pretty much.  Prince Cadance rushed off in the middle of the ceremony to attend to his wife. Princess Shining Armor gave birth to an alicorn colt and Prince Twilight finished tying the knot for us.”

I could hardly wait to tell my Shining Armor about his female counterpart giving birth.  It was sure to make him cringe!  “Speaking of babies, my Trixie is currently pregnant.  May I ask if you’re expecting too?”

He rolled his eyes.  “I wouldn’t have done this transformation if I was pregnant, would I?”

I mentally kicked myself for not thinking of that.

Stallion Marklestia continued, “And no, I’m not in any hurry to have a foal either.  That’s where I differ from your Trixie, apparently.”

“Yeah, I can see that.  Does Prince Trixie have a nickname for you?  Mine calls me Dowser occasionally.”

“Hmm.  My husband sometimes calls me Diviner, which is pretty much the same thing.”

“Yeah.  Just one more question – is Prince Twilight married to a changeling?”

“Queen Thorax?  Yes, he is.”

“So, the gender-flipped universe is almost identical to mine. How about the rest of you?”

“My story’s a lot different from yours,” Unimark replied.

“Your turn then.”

“For starters, in my Equestria, Celestia and Luna never left. So, while the Royal Sisters took sympathy on my plight, I was never introduced to Trixie.  Celestia did take some interest in my other-world point-of-view and we had some long talks about it.  She also took over my magic lessons when my instructor couldn’t cope.”

“Why was that?” Anthromark asked.

“Remember his description of his flying lessons?” Unimark answered, pointing to me.

“Yep.”

“Now translate that to magic lessons instead.  I ran up quite a repair bill for the palace before Celestia started taking me somewhere remote where I couldn’t do any real damage.”

“Wasn’t that a big inconvenience for the ruler of Equestria?” Anthromark asked.

“Technically, yes, but in actuality, Celestia enjoyed getting a break from the court, and she also regarded it as a good excuse for Luna to get some experience with Day Court rather than only doing Night Court.”

“Sounds like you and Celestia got along quite well,” male Marklestia said.

Unimark blushed.  “Better than that.  Turns out that after dealing with stuffy nobles and hero-worshipping commoners all the time, I was a bit of fresh air for her.  I simply didn’t have the same attitude for royalty as everypony else beyond basic respect.  We ended up spending quite a lot of time together and I did get put in a lesser advisory position.  I didn’t take any part in those major events you described though.  That was mostly Twilight and her friends.  Then Chrysalis kidnapped me and tried to do the same to Celestia, but she defeated the changelings sent to replace her.  Celestia stormed the hive to rescue me with the help of a few dozen dragon friends of hers and the biggest tatzlwurm anypony had ever seen.”

“You obviously had a Thorax to tell you where the hive was and Celestia would have listened to the warning about Equestrian magic being neutralized.  But why did Chrysalis bother to kidnap you in the first place?” Mark Griff asked.

I smirked.  “You clearly don’t know Celestia.  I’ve met a few versions of her and she’s a very passionate mare.  If someone discovered that she cared deeply about somepony, that could be used as a weapon against her.”

The griffon gave Unimark a sharp look.  “Then you’re saying…?”

“We were lovers behind closed doors.  We got married after that incident.  I’m royalty too, now,” Unimark admitted.

“You bagged a real alicorn though,” stallion Marklestia said. “Nice one!”

Unimark rolled his eyes.  “You don’t have to deal with Luna as a sister-in-law!”

Mark Griff guffawed.  “Serves you right hooking up with a princess.”

I said, “I guess you’re not going to claim to be a prince then.”

“Nope.  After I got debriefed by the princesses when I arrived in Equestria, they soon transferred me to the care of a griffon Royal Guard who taught me how to griff.  Gracie found me a place in the Canterlot griffon enclave where she and I live together.  We’re expecting our second cub in six months.”

I blinked in surprise for several seconds.  “Well… that was short but sweet.  You didn’t take part in any major events?”

“Not unless you count getting the magic sucked out of me by Tirek like everybody else in Canterlot.  Gracie’s the one who’s in all the action.  I just tinker and try to re-invent Earth gadgets with Equestrian technology.”

Male Marklestia said, “I have to say that being a griffon has affected you a lot more than we three ponies.”

The griffon just shrugged.  “Can’t really argue with that, but I’m happy the way I am.  So is Phil.”

“WHAT?!” the rest of us chorused.

“You mean to say that Phil fell through the portal with you?” I asked, barely beating the others.

“Yeah.  We were carrying the mirror into my room when the glass suddenly became intangible.  I lost my grip and stumbled into the mirror and started falling through.  Phil tried to grab me but he was off-balance and got pulled in with me.  He ended up as a griffon too, but female.  That didn’t bother her much though.”

“I met a mare Phil during my time battle and she was married to her Mark.  Turns out that Phil was bisexual which is why the gender change didn’t concern her too much. But obviously, your Phil didn’t marry you.”

“Nah.  She’s got the hots for another hen.  Gloria and Phil double-date with us regularly.”

“Well, your story is certainly different from ours,” I said. “I’d like to learn a bit more about life as a griffon later.  Right now, let’s hear from our two-legged Mark.”

Anthromark chuckled.  “I think mine will be the least exciting.  Unlike you, I didn’t fall over and break the mirror when I tried to stand up after arriving in Equestria.  Unfortunately, these things—” He indicated his large wings.  “—opened of their own accord and did the dirty work. I got taken before Celestia, me totally nude and she only wearing her regalia, her necklace resting on a huge pair of beautifully-shaped boobs.  It was as distracting as hell!  After talking to Celestia, she put me into the care of Twilight Sparkle who was interested in researching what Earth was like while she and her friends helped me adjust to a new world.  Like these two pegasi, I crashed and burned a heck of a lot while trying to learn how to fly. I even did the high-altitude thing, but I never tried to eat poison joke after leaving Zecora’s place. Apparently, anthro ponies aren’t as much into eating flowers as you quadrupeds.”

“You should try some of the potion and find out how it affects you,” suggested male Marklestia.

Anthromark eyed the bottle on the coffee table.  “I can’t say that I’m not curious.  Maybe later.”

I said, “Let’s hear the rest of your story first.”

“Well, I helped Twilight for a while, then one day a travelling entertainer came to town.”

“Trixie?” I asked.

“Yep.  She put on quite an impressive show.  In a land where real magic is common, her stage magic was quite unusual and remarkable. I realized that she had gotten a rather small recompense for her efforts though, so I thought I might offer to take her out for dinner.  She’s a proud mare and resisted at first, but I managed to persuade her.  Best idea of my life.  We spent hours at the restaurant.  The waiter got a heck of a tip to keep up the coffee and snacks and leave us alone.  Trixie stayed a week in Ponyville, but when she left, I went with her.  I toured Equestria with Trixie and was her stage assistant.  When we eventually came back to Ponyville, I asked Twilight to marry us.  We’re now expecting our first child.”

I smiled.  “Trixie insisted that you stick around last Season?”

Anthromark returned my smile.  “Yep.”

“Seems like you have had quite an ideal life,” stallion Marklestia commented.

“No argument from me, but you two seem to have had a more significant one.  You’ve really done a lot for your Equestrias while I’ve just been an onlooker.”

I shook my head.  “None of us had a choice of circumstances.  Just because you didn’t get the same opportunities as we did doesn’t mean that your life means any less.  I know I would have been happy touring around with Trixie too.  At least I get some private shows at the palace.”

Male Marklestia nodded in agreement.  “Same here.”

“Seems a bit too tame to me,” Mark Griff said.

Stallion Marklestia levitated the bottle of poison joke potion. “Then how about a dare?  Take a swig and see what happens.”

The griffon eyed the potion uncertainly but knew he had backed himself into a corner.  He shrugged. “Can’t be much worse than you two.”

He took the bottle in his talons, drank a swig, and put the stopper back in.  There was a flash of magic as the poison joke’s curse took instant effect.  I don’t know which of us started laughing first, but the tiny pink earth pony filly that took the griffon’s place didn’t join in.

“You have got to be shitting me!” she squeaked.  “Where’s the antidote?!”

Male Marklestia picked up the filly in his magic and brought her into a hug.  “Don’t worry, dear – daddy’s got you.”

We all roared with laughter as the foal sputtered in outrage.

“Next!” I declared, picking up the bottle from the floor.  I held it out to Anthromark who grinned and took it.  “I won’t tempt fate, but I bet I will deal with whatever happens better than our tough griffon Mark.”

He drank a dose and handed it back to me before the magic took hold.  At first, I thought he had disappeared, but then I focused on a tiny creature hovering in midair.

“He’s a breezie!” exclaimed Unimark.

An anthro breezie, as it turned out.

“Now I know what a bug feels like!” exclaimed Anthromark, barely audibly. As promised, he wasn’t freaking out.

We all turned to look at the remaining Mark.  The unicorn groaned.

“I suppose I must, even if I’m not curious.”  He took the bottle, eyed the blue contents dubiously, and then sighed.  “Here goes nothing.”  He took a swig and passed the flask back to me.

At first, nothing seemed to happen.  Then he started to expand like a balloon being inflated.  This continued until he started floating off the floor, rising until he bounced off the ceiling like a helium balloon.

“I hope you’re all happy now,” he said in a long-suffering tone.

“Perfectly!” I replied, switching to my short-maned Celestial form. I used my magic to pull Unimark down from the ceiling as I said to Twilight, “Could you grab my camera?  I want to take a group photo.”

“Sure thing, Mark,” she replied with a grin.  It popped into the air in front of me.

“No!  I don’t wanna be photographed like this!” objected the filly.

“Who will know besides those in this room?” male Marklestia asked, holding the pink pony firmly.

I got my group photos including a macro shot of Breezie Mark and then asked Spike to draw a bath and add some poison joke cure to it.

“Already done,” he replied.  “As soon as the first Mark took some, I knew it would be needed.”

“Thanks, buddy.  Okay, guys – bath time!”





Male Marklestia opted to stay that way for now.

“Might as well make this an all-male Mark party.  Besides, I haven’t had the opportunity to be my other self for a while.  I don’t have the ability to change at a whim, unfortunately.”

We had dinner once everyone else was restored to normal.  We talked about all the little differences between our worlds while Twilight eagerly asked questions.

Afterwards, my wife dragged the alicorn away to let us chat in peace and generally be stallions.  We drank some Last Clutch whiskey and had a few laughs.  Sooner than anyone thought possible, it was late and time to show our guests to their rooms for the night.  The five of us… or would it be the five of me?... were bantering back and forth in the hallway on the way upstairs when  Trixie and Twilight walked up to us and all conversation stopped. Twilight had an expectant look on her face but was interrupted before she could get out a word.

Mark Griff smirked and said, “I’ve got one bit that says Trixie can’t tell which of us is her husband, just by the way we kiss.  Any takers?”

Twilight’s eyes grew wide and she looked at her co-regent. Her mouth closed as whatever she had wanted to say to all the Marks apparently got put on the back burner.

I was about to shoot down the proposal when Trixie spoke up first. “The Great and Perspicacious Trixie will bet you all ten bits each that not only can Trixie tell who is my husband, but Trixie can identify each of you by kiss as well.”  I recognized her confident tone.  The most recent time I heard it was when I challenged her to explain a magic act we had seen in the Canterlot Royal Theater… done by an earth pony. I won’t reveal what the stakes were, but it was something I valued more than a few bits.

Anthro Mark raised an eyebrow and looked at me.  “Any objections, Celestee-Mark?”  I wasn’t in love with his nickname for me but the bipedal pegasus figured that it fit my situation more than my mare counterpart. The name had stuck but I supposed it could have been much worse.

I shook my head. “I’m fully aware of who gets to decide what my wife does and doesn’t do of her own recognizance.”  Four answering grins let me know the feeling was mutual with regard to their own mates.

Trixie gave me a smile that she reserved for when I or anypony else said something obvious.  She then held out a hoof.  “Twilight. Blindfold, please.”

The purple mare clopped her forehooves together joyfully. “Actually, I could whip up a localized light-absorbing field that—”

Trixie interrupted.  “Please allow the stage magician her props, my dear.”  My wife’s latest affectation was to add ‘dear’, ‘honey’, ‘sugar’, and other sweet ways to address others at random times.  I speculated that it was due to her pregnancy and was sure that would fade away after a while just as the Alternate Tuesday Manestyle had done.

Twilight shrugged and her horn glowed, causing a large envelope to appear on her outstretched hoof.  From it, the purple alicorn pulled out a wide strip of black cloth.  “Shall I?”  At Trixie’s nod, Twilight’s magic wrapped the silk blindfold around Trixie’s head and knotted it.

Twilight turned to face the five of us. “I’ll be casting a sound deadening spell so Trixie can’t get clues from hearing how you move up to her. ”  She drew in another breath to say more but paused. “Umm… hmm.”

The purple mare trotted forward until her nose was buried in my mane. She took a deep whiff then turned to Unicorn Mark and did the same.  Both of us shared a one-eyebrow-raised look of surprise.  Twilight pulled her head back and beamed at both of us.  Moving back to Trixie’s side, she cheerfully said, “In addition, because you all don’t share exactly the same scent, I’ll suppress everypony’s sensitivity to olfactory stimuli during this experiment.”

“But garlic is good for you!” protested Unimark.

“Onions too!” joked my anthropomorphic twin.

“Let me tell you about these splendid mice I caught…” started my griffon self.

Twilight raised her voice to break through our chuckles. “Anyway!  Muzzles… uh… mouths touching mouths only.  I will choose the order by a pseudo-random process that uses the tens place value of the thirteenth root of a one to two hundred digit number.”  A scroll appeared in her hoof, one end gripped there and the other rolling away on the floor.  “Trixie, are you ready?”

My wife nodded, the confident smile on her face unwavering.

Twilight said, “Begin.”  Her horn glowed fuchsia and a hemisphere of the same color surrounded all of us.  As promised, all ambient sound went away.  Breathing in through my nose revealed my sense of smell was likewise disabled. Griffon Mark started jumping up and down with a huge grin on his face, making no noise whatsoever.  Moments later, the rest of us were doing the same, hopping around like a bunch of crazed schoolcolts.  The amount of alcohol in our systems probably had something to do with it.

Eventually, I noticed Twilight waving a forehoof to get our attention, then she pointed at the griffon in our midst.  OK, fine.  Get that one out of the way first.  As he walked up, he motioned for Twilight to turn Trixie sideways so the rest of us could see what would happen next.  Twilight did so, drawing a protest from my wife that would never be known.

Perhaps before Trixie was entirely ready, Mark Griff lightly pressed his beak to Trixie’s lips.  After a few seconds of smooches, they both opened their mouths and wrestled with their tongues in a manner far more gentle than I would have expected from anyone from that carnivorous species.  After breaking the kiss, the griffon proudly strutted back to the rest of us, hamming it up for all he was worth.  I found myself laughing along with the other Marks.  To my surprise, I did not mind the other me giving my wife a kiss.  I felt entirely secure that my Trixie was my Trixie… something I doubt I would have felt if I was still a human.

Speaking of humans, Twilight next picked the anthro stallion. He knelt down and almost lifted Trixie’s chin with a hand before catching himself.  Instead, he went from kneeling to all fours then leaned forward. His specialty turned out to be gently nibbling on Trixie’s lips when not kissing more deeply.  That made me frown.  I honestly didn’t know if Trixie liked that or not.  I’d have to find out.  I did not expect this exercise to be educational.

Twilight read another number from down her list, closed her eyes for a few seconds, then pointed at me.  Well then.  I wasn’t going to make it easy.  I shifted to my short-maned Marklestia form and kissed my wife from slightly to the side, moving my muzzle away and coming in from a different angle each time she tried to compensate.  When she stopped twisting her head in an attempt to follow mine, I gave her a strong kiss that ended by pulling gently at her tongue with mine, which was something I had never done.  Returning to my stallion form as I rejoined the others, I saw plenty of laughter, smiles, and applause.  One plus about having so many of me around, I didn’t have to explain why I did what I did. They all already knew.

As I turned around, stallion Marklestia was just getting close to Trixie. He gave me a wink before practically attacking my wife’s lips, demanding entry.  One very deep and energetic kiss later, he returned to find the griffon whistling silently with a circle of two talons just inside his mouth.

Unicorn me stared straight at Trixie as he approached, only to veer to the side at the last moment.  Pulling Twilight into his forelegs, he swept her off her hooves as he passionately kissed the surprised mare.  I laughed so hard I fell over.  After I could look up again, I saw him pantomiming a question to Twilight, asking if Trixie was the mare he was supposed to kiss.  After rolling his eyes and bouncing a hoof off his forehead, he set the purple mare back on her hooves and moved off towards Trixie.  A quick jump on his part let all of us know Twilight had given him a telekinetic pinch on the rump for his transgression.  Despite Twilight’s narrow-eyed glare, I was sure I could see a hint of a smile at the end of her lips.

Trixie looked a touch anxious, clearly uncomfortable at the unexpected delay.  Unicorn Mark tilted his head back and forth a couple of times as if deciding what to do next. He settled for a quick peck on the lips then immediately headed back to the rest of the stallions.  On the way, he caught Twilight’s eye.  He pointed at her and nodded his head, then pointed behind himself and shook it.  This was followed by a grinning leer and a lascivious wink.  Unsurprisingly, his gait hitched again when Twilight’s horn glowed.

Twilight released her spell and unknotted the blindfold.  She then levitated it into the envelope which disappeared with a flash.

Trixie’s self-assured smile was back.  She looked at Twilight then each of the stallions arrayed in front of her.  Being the showmare she was, she waited to draw out the tension and also be sure she had the audience’s full attention.  “Griffon Mark, Tiny, my Mark who was trying to be tricky, Marklestia, and Unicorn Mark who seems to think purple alicorns are tasty.”

All of the stallions whooped, clapped, and stamped their hooves. Meanwhile, Twilight gaped— her end of the scroll dropped and forgotten as it bounced away from her.  “How… how did you know about that?!”

“A professional stage magician never gives up her secrets.”

“Indeed.”  Griffon Mark came up close to Trixie and waved his clawed hands dramatically, producing a stack of ten gold bits seemingly out of thin air.  “I acknowledge your flawless victory.”

Trixie took the coins in her magic and beamed.  “Trixie hopes you have all learned something today.”

“That all Trixies are truly Great and Powerful!” said Mare Mark, which was met with another round of cheering.  Trixie smiled even wider and trotted up to my side, where I gave her my ‘I love you dearly’ kiss.

Twilight appeared to have recovered, from both the snogging and my wife’s insight.  “Well, actually, since you are all here, I came out to ask our guest Marks for a favor.”  All eyes turned to her as she clopped her hooves together excitedly.  “This is such a great opportunity!  Would all of you mind letting me run a couple of tests?  I still don’t know exactly what magical and biological factors you have in common, and I don’t know the next time there will be this chance for the advancement of Science!”  She finished with a beaming smile that was met with guarded looks and a couple of Marks retreating a step.

“Count me out.”

“It’s past my bedtime.”

“Ahhhhhhh…. I’ll pass, thanks.”

“You mean willingly go to the Basement of Terror?”

Twilight’s smile didn’t waver.  Instead, she reached into her saddlebag and pulled out four ballpoint pens, arrayed in a fan-pattern extending from her hoof.  The identical gasps and wide-eyed looks from the three stallions and griffon around me were hilarious.

“Well, I suppose I could help out… you know… for Science.”

“Since we’re guests here in your castle, it would only be polite to provide you with some assistance.”

“I guess I can make time.  I’m not that sleepy yet.”

“Yeah, I want that pen!”

Twilight tucked the pens away as she turned and trotted down the hall. “An extra two pens for the Mark who is the best test subject.”

Unicorn Mark asked, “Anything you can think of for extra credit?”

The purple mare said, “No!”, but I think her tail swished a bit more than it normally would.

Trixie nudged me in the side.  I turned to see her smirking at me.  “Just like showing a shiny toy to a foal.”

I glared back at her.  “I know exactly who you are talking about right now, and that particular Mark didn’t follow Twilight to his science-y doom.”

My wife condescendingly patted me on the head.  “Such a smart stallion.  Trixie was so wise to not trade you in for a newer model.”

I growled playfully.  “Perhaps we can retire to my room and we’ll see if this ‘old dog’ can come up with any new tricks.”

The blue mare held out a forehoof and I took it in mine.  We started heading for the nearest stairwell. “A perfect way to spend quality time, Dowser.”


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