Cadance and the Wedding Crashers

by Insp Jen-Itol


Ch 1. Something Old

“Ouch!” Cadance cursed as she picked herself up from the musty cavern floor. She was not in a good place. Thousands of hoof paces from the surface on the eve of her wedding while a horrible succubus insect monster did Celestia only knows what top her beloved groom-to-be. Also, her knee was scraped.

Ripping yet another piece from her already shredding garment she wrapped her cut knee to stop the bleeding. Lamenting the ruination of such a pristine garment, better than anything she had worn back in the village. Ohh… the village, back with her adoptive mother and father, the feel of fresh grass under her hooves, each digit of her delicate fur coated hands swollen from the labour of the day. She missed it. Especially the food. Not that stuffy questionably portioned stuff the royal chefs always drugged up. Real lovingly home cooked filling food.

Her mouth watered. Causing her to quickly cup her muzzle, water was precious in the crystal caverns. The last source she’d found had barely lasted her two days, or was it three? Without the passage of the heavens time became meaningless, she could only count by the number of times she’d slept. But even sleep barely brought rest, dehydrated, starving, and without anywhere to properly lay herself besides the dirt covered floor, left her ragged and uncomfortable in every imaginable way. Yet still she soldiered on.

The pink princess couldn’t tell if she was going in circles or simply falling deeper into the dark. Each crystal growth and ore deposit looked the same. The dirt and dust seemed only to multiply with each step making her eyes sting. Eventually, perhaps inevitably, she stumbled and fell deeper into the mines. The vent she had fallen in was filled with gravel that cut her arms and back as she descended, her arms raised instinctively as she fell to protect her face and muzzle from the jagged ceiling and non-too smooth ground beneath her. Eventually coming to a stop into a conveniently placed dirt pile.

Cursing the further dirtying of her garments and aching limbs, she rose from the pile and began to at least try and clean herself of most of the debris. As she hastily scrubbed at one particularly stubborn spot of muck she tripped and fell again.

“Okay now I’m beginning to see a pattern here.” She grumbled. After examining the floor beneath her feet, she noticed the cavern floor was unnaturally smooth. Raised just a few milli-hoofs from the rest of the cavern at a seemingly mechanical angle. Following the contour of the clearly artificial structure to the walls she noticed what appeared to be an arch. Twin pillars of white and gold rose and curved into an almost perfect circle, spoiled only by the vines, cracks, and ware in the obviously ancient structure. It was truly a marvel. The white metallic marble looked older than even the architecture of ancient Roam. Perhaps predating it. As she cautiously approached the alien looking arch with newfound wonder her mind began to race. She idly thought to herself, ‘Twilight would have loved this.’ When she’d used to babysit for the adorable little filly, she quickly found the foals interest to be strictly academic. The tiny book monster begging the pink princess to read from old history books and university papers. She could already see the ghost of the adorable bright-eyed foal jumping up and down citing reference after reference of construction techniques, measuring everything she could reach and writing it all down in a cute tiny notebook. Oh, Celestia how she missed her. As she reached the middle of the Dias, which the pony crafted floor was she now realized, her hoof fell a little more than she expected. But this time she was ready and caught herself. Now she could hear odd whirring and scraping, the whine of disused mechanical pistons. Like the sound of an old train protesting its final day of operation. First the left, then the right, soon a whole trainyard of engines announced themselves from all around her. Tiny pieces of light flickering from the dark corners of the structure and other parts of the room, seemingly at random. Slowly but surely a pedestal emerged from a new opening in the floor right in front of her. The mechanical whirring droning and screeching in a fever pitch to complete its ancient operation. Ceasing only at its completion, at which point the pedestal was fully emerged. Its surface lit up brighter than the walls. A tiny button situated inside the outline of a handprint presented as its only means of control. Cadance’s heart nearly skipped a beat in her chest.

This wasn’t some random support beam for some forgotten palace or temple, this was a machine, a magi-portal. It made sense, if her sister in law could teleport herself from place to place in seconds, why not do the same with goods and trade, or soldiers in war? This wasn’t a dead end; it was her way out!

Hope lit her eyes as she timidly reached out to the control panel.

As tears filled the corners of her vision, she swore she could see the faces of those she most loved. Her parents who came all this way to see her wedding, shining’s parents who were already like family to her long before the engagement was final, the adorable twilight now almost all grown up, and her beloved gentle-stallion. They were waiting for her, waiter for her to escape this maze of darkness and reveal the evil queen’s deception, to save them from whatever horror she had schemed.

She began furiously beating the button.

Quickly the lights increased their intensity, the ancient dev ice sprung to life. Great gears and wires fed (presumably) arcano-energy from some hidden reservoir of power and began to turn the great wheel around the gate. Energy built and crackled throughout the whole structure as the machines hum sent the whole cavern to shiver. Then slowly, like water to spilled to fill a pool, the gate filled. It appears as a scene from a painting, tiny stars glittered in the distance as great suns turned and filled the night sky above strange alien worlds. The black pool of night pulsing and waving into itself from the edges. Finally the connection was made and the pony was able to behold a new cavern, not too unlike the one she herself now occupied but more preserved. It suddenly occurred to her that the portal might not be safe. She hesitated. It could be malfunctioned, it could sever and scatter her every atom across the multiverse itself. It could kill her. But there was no other way out, she would be dead either way from hunger or exhaustion in the tunnels, even if she found an exit she’d never make it in time. Shining Armour...

She entered the portal.