//------------------------------// // May 3rd // Story: Closet Pony // by DouglasTrotter //------------------------------// >>>May 3rd 6:29 am<<< The idiosyncrasies of humanity represent a wonderful, powerful trait. These peculiarities are a rather profound concept that us a diverse and adaptive species. It is also those very same idiosyncrasies that makes humans an unpredictable, terrifying race of creatures as our peculiarities cause us to do some bizarre, gruesome things to other things on this planet and each other. Some of those peculiarities even have a name: the seven deadly sins of humanity. It's sad to say the ponies who've come under my care have become familiar with the sins and idiosyncrasies of humanity. All of it has been on full display since the night of March 16th, 2022 AD, a small four minute video starting a cascade of escalating horrible events. The "enhanced 4k-ultra HD" video footage started all of it, recorded from the helicopter that hovered overhead the night of March 16th, 2022 AD. The video still circulates online to this day and has a stereotypical start where an altercation turns into a high-speed pursuit. The pursuit ends, after forty-five seconds, with a car crashing into a tree. It's nothing special. Time appears frozen as officers move towards the car. As the timer reaches ten seconds away from the one minute mark, the criminal jumps out of the car. The lunatic bolts towards a house, leaps over a fence, and lands in a backyard. The horror starts at 00:58. The video shows the lunatic pause in confusion after they leapt over the fence, and then he shakes himself out of the confusion. The last three minutes of the four minute long video shows a single man in the backyard of the home -- a man who stood near mythical creatures -- move towards the lunatic. The lone person in that video displays a power humanity thought impossible. The video climaxes when the criminal drops to the ground like a ragdoll, and then the officers take the criminal into custody. If things were normal that would be the end of that as some would say, but reality isn't normal or kind. I later found out the video had stoked the fire of humanity's imagination the moment it went both live and viral the night of March 16th, 2022 AD. Also unknown to me at the time, the video wetted humanity's insatiable appetite, its ravenous curiosity growing until humanity couldn't take it anymore. The morning of March 17th, 2022 AD, after that horrible night and that horrible incident, I discovered the laptop's wallpaper background had been changed. The message was a stern warning in bold white letters on an intense black background. It stated, "Those who keep secrets from humanity shall incur its wrath." Those were my journal entries, my audio files. Though Princess Celestia said no one was to blame, it was my fault. It happened because I'd forgotten to turn the laptop off. The only thing not stolen were the research notes. Either out of spite for those notes being out of reach or just for the "lulz," the hackers placed my name, home address, state, and zip code up alongside the files that had been stolen. Our secret was out. Princess Celestia tried to assure all of us things would work out, she couldn't have predicted those days and nights that followed. Nor, for that matter, could Princess Celestia have foretold the protesters. The protesters marched onto the property and trampled the grass Apple Bloom spent countless nights on to cultivate. Some chanted "four-leggers go home" while others bellowed "we deserve answers" with each group vying for attention amongst the reporters who swooped in like a plague of locusts alongside the protesters. It's hard to tell what made me sicker, the protesters or those so-called investigative journalists who cared nothing about these ponies. Throughout those long days and terrible nights, all sides kept up the pressure. Phone call after phone call to the authorities yielded no results. It took two weeks of torment after it started on March 20th, 2022 AD for SWAT and local law enforcement to get up off their butts and disperse the protesters, some removed via heavy force, but the arrests and emergency restraining order stopped neither of them. The journalist claimed immunity under the first amendment and were back on the front property within a few days. Those journalist returned at the same times malicious letters and outright hate mail arrived at the house in large bundles. Two and a half-weeks after the protests, I'd had enough. Per Princess Celestia's permission, I gave the investigative journalists a little show and a reason why they needed to back off. Sloth. Greed. Lust. Gluttony. Envy. Wrath. Pride. Every idiosyncrasy, every possible sins of humanity has been on display after humans discovered the existence of these equines. They didn't deserve any of this garbage. From the hacker(s), protesters, and reporters to the malicious letters and ramped up hacking attempts that forced the ISP/Cable company to kill our service, those worthless cockroaches at said ISP company trying to force the estate to pay for early termination plus so-called applicable fees, I've hated every bit of it to this day. I hate the pure garbage these equines endured. Of course, things have gotten even better. Almost a week ago from today, the human world had the gall to formally "welcome" the alien equines to Earth. AGAIN, after everything Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Sanctuary, Star Swirl the Bearded, and Princess Celestia endured, everything these displaced Equestrians dealt with, humanity has the audacity to pull this crap?! I have to say Princess Celestia, your calm never ceases to amaze me. The same goes for your logic. Why you accepted the invitation to the United Nations meeting is beyond me. It's your choice though, not mine. In terms of today, I'm on pins and needles. This is the day of the United Nations invitation, and it is going to be rough. To be blunt, it's already off to a rough start. I remember the soft texture of the bed sheets and familiar glow from the green light of the cordless phone. Both of them greeted me when I woke up in my bedroom. It had to be the fifth or sixth time I've passed out at my desk and woken up in my bedroom. There's no memory of it but all bets are on Princess Celestia. She's in her stereotypical, motherly/guardian role right now, watching over all of us. What's made today already off to a "great" start is the fact I was woken up by several succinct, heavy pounds that reverberated down the hallway. It's also the fact I was chewed out by some bootlicker. All of it started at 6:07 am EST, the time according to the cordless phone. It was after the fifth, repetitious pounding I tossed the top covers off to the side, the time being 6:09 am, and then stormed toward the front door and said, "what do you want?!" "..." Through the peephole of the firmly shut, firmly locked front door a small silhouette could be seen, the plywood covered windows preventing a better view. The person stood on the concrete walkway with a packet clutched close to their chest. The porch-light didn't work because the bulb had been stolen or broken, again. The sun having not yet risen, white lights from the various lampposts of the nearby houses provided some light. The silhouette appeared to adjust its outfit before an audible "ahem" was heard. "Not interested." I said. "It's imperative I speak with Princess Celestia." The person said. Half-asleep, I stood by the firmly closed front door, my cellphone reading 6:12 am. The woman cleared her throat again, and then asked, again, to speak with Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestra. I said no, again. She repeated her request. I repeated my response. The woman pestered me with request, all met with the single word "no." "Silence 'stable-boy!' If you will not let me speak to Princess Celestia then you will relay this message to her, so listen well because I will only say this once. Understand?" She said. I was no longer half-asleep after the stable-boy comment. The woman gave a firm, distinct "ahem," towards me before she dictated several terms about today's event. I was told to relay a message to Princess Celestia, the Ruler of Equestria that she is formally invited to meet with the United Nations at 10:30 am EST, 2:30 pm UTC today. Princess Celestia's information is contained within the white packet. The woman also stated it was a matter of urgency the estate's stable-boy inform Princess Celestia of the matter without delay and said stable-boy will only come to the meeting with Princess Celestia as needed. Above all else, the stable-boy would ensure the Ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia isn't late by even a second. Each second the woman droned on and on about stable-boy this, attendant that, and servant of the house whatever, it pushed what nerves of mine were left. I had to put my cellphone down at 6:14 am. If I didn't, it'd have broken in my hand as it clenched tighter and tighter into a firm fist. At 6:15 am, a thought occurred to me. A single snap would solve everything. Just a quick snap, just one single little snap of the fingers would have sent the woman's white car into orbit, without her being in it of course; thanks to the new intense training by Princess Celestia and Star Swirl the Bearded, both of them pushing and honing my skills each day we could train, that car would reached escape velocity in three seconds and reached the moon in ten seconds flat. It terrified me when that thought occurred in my mind, and it also pleased me. When the phone read 6:17 am, I raised my hand, my thumb against my middle finger. I looked down, my hand fell to my side. My hand and nerves relaxed when a gentle pressure came to my left leg. A silvery colored hoof pressed against my left leg. Two, kind, innocent eyes gazed at me. Sweetie Belle stood beside me. I sighed and patted the little filly on the head. The woman was done at 6:23 am, so I told her to leave the packet in the mailbox and get lost. The estate wasn't taking visitors. The woman reiterated her prior statement that the estate's "stable-boy " not make Princess Celestia late then slipped the packet into the mailbox. The woman's shoes made a heavy rhythmic sound against the concrete walkway, soon followed by the heavy slam of a car door. "Mark my words stable-boy, and mark them well," the woman said in the snidest of possible tones, "if you destroyed humanity's chance for enlightenment, I will personally ensure you are brought up on charges. That is not a threat, but an unadulterated fact. You got a problem with that?" My hand shot back up at 6:24 am, thumb pressed firmly against middle finger once more. Sweetie Belle pressed her hoof against my left leg again. She forced me to look at her. The unicorn filly didn't appear scared, nervous, or upset. She just looked at me and gave a slight, smooth, gentle head shake before she placed her hoof back onto the ground. In the end, Sweetie Belle was right. The woman wasn't worth it. At 6:25 am, the white car's engine revved up. Through the peep-hole, I watched the car race out of the drive way then zoom down the street. By the direction the car rocketed, a betting person would say the woman headed towards the airport to catch a flight. In the end, a quick finger snap did happen, but it just materialized the info packet onto the dark glass table, the packet being a semi-thick white envelope. "You're our friend, not our servant. Always remember that, ok." Sweetie Belle said. "Thanks for restraining me. Are all of you ok?" I said. The two of us sat near the desk at 6:27 am. Sweetie Belle's ears went flat. The filly had raised her hoof and was prepared to speak in that moment, but she placed her hoof back down and sat in silence near me. She closed her mouth. The unicorn filly smiled, but Sweetie Belle seemed to fighting something back. I patted her on the head. She thanked me. A few, silent moments passed. The filly admitted how she and the others want to go home right now. She also admitted how hard it's been with the eyes of the world glued on all of them. It angered me, still angers me for that matter of fact, to see not just Princess Celestia and Star Swirl the Bearded, but these fillies, these children being hounded to no end. It isn't fair. If humans treat each other like trash, I say go for it. If they treat me like trash, go for it. I don't care. However, they better think twice that it's ok to treat these innocent ponies like garbage, like they do to each other. If anyone attempts to harm a single hair on the head of one of these ponies, if a person so much as gives them one single dirty look, what I do to that person will be considered a war crime. "Listen, enough about that, how about I fix us a huge breakfast. We'll have eggs, sausage, biscuits, waffles, and toast with some orange juice." Sweetie Belle said. After a nod from me, Sweetie Belle gave a better, firmer smile before she walked towards the kitchen, pulled over a stool, flicked the stove on, put on her tiny apron, and started cooking around 6:27 am, the same time the journal program was opened. I heard several pots and pans clang against each other after that point. Those sounds were soon followed by the sound of sizzling, that followed by a delicious aroma. Since Sweetie Belle started breakfast, time has crawled onward from 6:27 AM towards 6:32 AM, and then became 6:34 AM. At 6:35 AM, the dark blue apparition materialized off to my right side. She held up a hoof to her mouth, paused for a second, and then placed her hoof back down. "The house is secure. Now that my duty is fulfilled, it's time to rest." "Thanks, Asteria." I said. The apparition had paused for a second while she almost appeared to blush. "... your welcome, my friend." The dark blue pony curled into a ball, and then vanished, which happened about 3 minutes ago. I'm just glad Asteria is here to watch the house. Perhaps later today, I can write about her to ease my mind, when I get the time at least. It's rather -- This just proves how frazzled I am right now. I didn't even feel the small tap come to my side at 6:52 AM. Princess Celestia had to block my screen to force me to look at her. It seems the others have arrived at the house. As said, today is the day of the United Nation invitation, and things are already off to a great start with that jerk pounding on the door this morning. Today is also the day humanity gets its first real look at Equestrians. I guess all I can do is be there by Princess Celestia's side to help her through this ordeal. ---End Entry--- >>>May 3rd 3:27 pm<<< The meeting is over. I've taken off my monkey suit. I've taken my shower. I've booted up this laptop, and I've watched this cursor blink at me. All of it is so surreal. Even the reporters on what little bit of TV I can watch on my phone have been stunned by what happened. All of it happened after those merciless, grueling questions came to an end. The meeting at the UN came to a close with a twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan himself. "I have one final statement." The ambassador said. Princess Celestia and I looked at each other. We were prepared to leave, but sat back down out of respect. "This will be directed at you, sir." The ambassador said. The man adjusted his glasses. I remember how he let out a calm but heavy sigh. "As the ambassador to your country, I am here to read a statement that has been given to me by my superiors." I looked at Princess Celestia. She shrugged at me. The two of us turned towards the ambassador. "The note from my superiors states that all important research documents related to your... "magical" encounter with these equines shall be confiscated under the right of the Invention Secrecy Act of 1951. These documents will be sealed and classified, done in the name national security." The ambassador said. "And if I refuse?" I said. "Sir, you misunderstand your position. There will be no debate on this matter. There will be no negotiation. You -- a citizen of the United States of America -- will do as you are told." Ambassador Douglas C. Stromwell said. My cellphone read 11:52 am when he tapped the sheet in front of him. Mr. Stromwell soon laid the single piece of paper down flat in front of him with a heavy hand. "Sir, any form of refusal to comply with this document will be met with serious consequences. If you refuse, you will be tried, you will be found guilty, and you will be declared an enemy of the state and a traitor to your country. Do I make myself clear!" The room remained silent after the ambassador's comment. A two-star general, Douglas C. Stromwell was moved from the army to that of an ambassador for his directness and calmness under pressure. If ever there was a picture-perfect definition of high-noon, it was that moment. Things were made even eerier by the fact my phone read 12:00 pm est. Every country wanted my research notes. They wanted them to further their own goals. However, my birthplace was prepared to do whatever it took to keep those notes for themselves, to study them, and to use them to their advantage. I knew what Sweetie Belle meant in that moment, the eyes of the world being on me. I believed there was no other alternative. I believed I had no choice. The notes would have to be turned over. If the order wasn't obeyed, I'd be exiled from my home. "Will you allow me to speak on this matter, Mr. Ambassador." Princess Celestia said. She looked at me and winked. The ambassador pointed a gentle open palm towards Princess Celestia and nodded. Several hushed voices came from around the room before it went quiet. "With all due respect, I believe that you are wrong." "How so, Princess Celestia? In Equestria, do you not have laws when dealing with issues such as disobedience and declaring certain, 'sensitive' matters classified or higher to protect the citizens of Equestria?" Mr. Stromwell said. He adjusted his glasses then clasped his hands together. "With all due respect Princess Celestia, I am not fond of these tactics. They are cruel and unreasonable, and go against common ground principles of civility. However, such actions must be taken to prevent access to the information that can be potentially dangerous if left unchecked." "That is where you are correct, Mr. Ambassador. What you say cannot be denied, and I must regrettably admit there are times and have been times where my authority as Ruler of Equestria has been both tested and exercised. It is done to protect those I hold dear." Princess Celestia said. I remained seated. The air was calm back then, yet it was also foreboding. It little breath of air felt like a gasp to me. Princess Celestia remained calm when she approached the center of the room. She pointed a gentle wing tip towards me, and then retracted it. "As many of you have no doubt read the journal entries and listened to the audio files posted online, the human at the table next to me has cared for my little ponies. He gave all of us the basic necessities of food and shelter, and gave us more than that, if I am being honest about it. Kindness. Joy. Loyalty. Generosity. Honesty. Magic. Our friend displayed all of this -- the ultimate pillars of friendship -- by taking all of us in when we had nowhere to turn. It put a tremendous strain on both his financial, physical, and mental wellbeing. I must admit, there are times where he can be a bit brash, a little needy, perhaps whiney at times, but that is what makes him, him. He is --" "I apologize for interrupting Princess Celestia, but I'm not following your logic." Ambassador Stromwell said. He wasn't the only one. It made no sense why Princess Celestia listed all of that off, at least back then in that moment. "My apologies. I'll be more succinct and state that I always do whatever is within my power to protect those that I hold dear, and my friend at that table is no exception." Princess Celestia said. I didn't think I was that whiney, but, perhaps I am a bit on the whiney side. I received another wink from Princess Celestia in that dire moment before she faced the crowd of ambassadors before her in that overbearing room. "Again, I cannot deny what you have stated Mr. Ambassador. There are times where things must be done in the sake of security. However, such actions must be done with grace, care, and above all else, utmost subtlety. Thus it has come to a point where my authority as Ruler of Equestria must be asserted. Now, do you mind if I ask a question?" "Go on." Ambassador Stromwell leaned in, taking off his black rimmed glasses. "Is it or is it not true that no one nation of Earth may lay claim to a celestial body as their own?" Princess Celestia said. "I am not privy to all aspects of the doctrines and rules governing such a decree, but from what I do know, I will say that yes, that is the case. It is done in the sake of mutual interests of all nations." He said. "Thank you. Now, I'd like to ask a second question. What in the rules of the various countries defines a person as a citizen, a denizen of said country?" Princess Celestia said. It didn't occur to me what Princess Celestia was going on about. Even now, I still can't believe what she pulled off in that meeting. "The typical requirement is a person to be born within a country, but there are other opportunities where a person can become a naturalized citizen. It is done through certain requirements of course." He said. Mr. Stromwell leaned in a little further. "Thank you. Now, if I might ask a third question, and I promise, it will be my final question." Princess Celestia said. The ambassador remained silent. He placed his glasses back on, pulled out a handkerchief, and wiped his forehead. Princess Celestia returned to the table. She extended her left wing and placed it over my side. "As for my third question, what happens when an entity of another nation threatens the well-being of a citizen from another country?" All eyes turned towards me, and then towards the ambassador. I held no dual citizenship. I was born and raised in the US. "Let it be known on this day that I, Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria, declare under my authority that Sanctuary is a satellite nation of Equestria. I also hereby extend full rights of Equestrian citizenship to the person seated next to me. If my friend is ever turned away from his country of origin, Sanctuary -- and above all else Equestria -- will always open its doors to him." Princess Celestia said. She retracted her wing. There were no words for it. There was no reason for it either, but what Princess Celestia did left me speechless. It, it kinda makes me teary eyed to think of how she protected me like that during the meeting. "Well played, Princess Celestia. Well played." Douglas C. Stromwell said. The ambassador smiled in that moment. He appeared almost being genuinely happy. "Princess Celestia, what you just did was a spectacular, brilliant move, in my honest opinion. By bestowing Equestrian citizenship to the person beside you right now, I would dare surmise any move against them can and will be construed as a declaration of war against Equestria itself. Sir, though I cannot rescind this order, I do withdraw my prior statement and will speak with my superiors on this matter." Princess Celestia pulled a move straight out of her rear that can't possibly be legal, but if what she said is true and I am declared a naturalized citizen by giving her and her subjects aid, it has given me some protection. When the meeting ended at long last, I snapped my fingers and teleported myself and Princess Celestia to the house. From that point on, we've taken our respective, well earned break, well earned for Princess Celestia at least. Over and over again that moment has been played on TV. Reporters around the globe are abuzz, again from what I can read, about the ramifications of such an event. Some have declared it an invasion by Equestria. They say humanity needs to take up arms to fight the invaders. Others believe it opens the door to negotiations and possible treaties. In either event, I have no idea what is going through the mind of that princess. Not to mention, there's one question that has been plaguing me while I type this up. If Princess Celestia declared Sanctuary apart of Equestria, does that mean they aren't planning to leave? Or, if they are planning to leave, does that mean they are taking me with them? I have no idea at this point. Right now, I need a soda and some headache medicine. It feels like there's a jackhammer in my head that won't quit. ---End Entry---