While handing out awards had been a private ceremony, the public wouldn’t be easily satisfied without some answers. A large-scale mobilization of a multi-species armed force against a national threat was not something that could be swept under the proverbial rug. The average pony would settle for nothing less than a pronouncement from the palace, along with all the juicy details. The rumors alone were taking on a life of their own. While some of them were actually beneficial to our changeling allies, they would also set up unrealistic expectations of them. Some ponies suspected the dragons of blackmailing us for their help in our time of desperation. And, of course, there was the one rumor that could no longer be totally denied because there were too many witnesses – the return of Celestia.
While I regretted that I would have to finally reveal my special ability, it wasn’t as if I didn’t know that it was inevitable. Too many ponies already knew about it, let alone Chrysalis and her spies. The surprise value of being able to transform into a powerful alter-ego was now virtually gone. Even if they had no proof, potential enemies would nonetheless be wary of me, so I figured it was time to announce it to the world and clear up any mistaken beliefs.
A special session of Day Court was announced for the afternoon in the morning newspapers. The City Guard were instructed to spread the word as they walked their beats. Consequently, the throne room was thoroughly packed with curious citizens and reporters. I led off with a speech that comprehensively explained the events of Chrysalis’ second attempt to gain control of Equestria, leaving out Timpani’s pony name and some other details for security purposes. Then Trixie opened up the floor for questions, ensuring that there was a fair allocation of time to nobles, commoners, and professional newsponies alike. It didn’t take long before the expected query came up.
Lord Jet Set said, “I have it on good authority that Princess Celestia was seen leading the battle within the hive. Why has her return been hushed up, and why has she not taken her proper place as ruler of Equestria?”
Leave it up to an entitled noble pony to not only reveal that alicorn’s apparent participation but also make it yet another challenge to our authority. I looked forward to deflating the entitled prick.
“You are correct in your belief that an alicorn matching Celestia’s appearance was present at the hive. I can assure you though that the Princess was not there and played no part in the battle.”
The noble stallion scoffed. “This reeks of a cover-up by the usurpers to the throne!”
You had to go there, Jerk Set. Shot yourself in the hoof though because now a throne room full of ponies know what you think of the Triarchy. I gave him my smuggest smile. “No cover-up, Jet Set – you were merely misinformed. I was the pony that your witness saw.”
The idiot had the nerve to laugh in my face. “Do you take me for a fool?”
“Why, yes, I do. Thank you for asking.” This generated some chuckling in the crowd – mostly from the commoners. After that settled down, I transformed into Marklestia with full mane and tail, and with my wings outspread. In my best imitation of the Royal Canterlot Voice, I proclaimed, “I am Princess Mark Wells, Triarch of Equestria. Do you doubt my word now, My Little Pony?” I stared down at him with my best haughty glare.
I’m fairly certain every single guest gasped in perfect harmony. Penumbra was at the base of the throne and took advantage of everypony’s distraction to give a sarcastic eye roll to my theatrics. Jet Set, however, was a bit more impressed. My change of form had the desired effect of making the noble do his best imitation of a goldfish, his jaw opening and closing without any sound coming out of his mouth. It also started a storm of conversation among the crowd. A unicorn mare stepped forward and curtsied to me. I acknowledged her with a nod.
“Your Highness, are you truly an alicorn too? If so, may I ask why you have chosen to take the appearance of a pegasus stallion?”
I gave her a beneficent smile. “No, I am not an alicorn. I am actually a pegacorn in this form. I have only average unicorn magic although I am an excellent flier. I have zero earth pony ability, however. And this is not my natural form. Although I am indeed a mare right now, my true form is that of a male pegasus, and I believe my wife prefers it that way.” I gave Trixie a smile who returned it with some amusement. Yeah, no need to tell the public what we did with my alternate form in private.
The unicorn giggled nervously; I think she saw the possibilities too.
“May I ask why you look like Princess Celestia then?”
“You may indeed. I have not always had this ability to transform. It all began one day when I was walking through the Everfree Forest….”
I gave the avid listeners an account of how I gained my alter-ego and what I did with it since. I left out the personal bits that they did not need to know and the still-secret ability to channel an enormous torrent of magic in a short burst. Being known to be a “one-shot wonder” would greatly lessen the advantage that would give me in battle. If Starlight had known what I could do, she might have been able to trick me into a wasted effort and then take me at her leisure after I was totally depleted.
I concluded with, “I put my empowered form at the service of our nation, but I remain your Triarch, Mark Wells, in whatever form I am in.”
There were a few seconds of silence as the audience took this all in. Then the hoof-stomping began. It grew into a roar of applause and the castle shook from its fervor. I beamed and smiled, then bowed in acknowledgement to my subjects. I noticed that Jet Set had slunk away when I had taken my attention off of him. With this level of approval from the common pony and most nobles, his credibility was likely to be shot for quite a while.
As the applause finally died down, a young unicorn stallion stepped forward to take the place of the mare. I raised an eyebrow questioningly. He fidgeted for a moment before speaking up nervously.
“Pardon me, Your Highness. My name is Thunder Clop and I would like to know if your transformation into a mare is just on the surface?”
“No, it isn’t,” I replied happily. “I am one hundred percent a mare in body, thoughts, and sensibilities in this form.”
The stallion perked up a little. “Then, would you be interested in going out to dinner with me tomorrow evening?”
I froze. He was asking me for a date? Did he really see me as so separate from my pegasus identity that he thought I might be available? My head spun when I realized that I was feeling flattered. Changing into a mare often brought different perspectives to me than when I was a stallion, and it impressed me mightily that this young pony had felt comfortable enough with Marklestia that he dared to ask me out in front of this huge crowd. Nevertheless, I had to disappoint him.
“I am sorry, my little pony, but I cannot accept your invitation. Not only am I happily married, but I also happen to like mares in either of my forms.”
The stallion looked disappointed. “I understand, Your Highness.”
I changed back into a pegasus and rejoined my wife who was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. One of the things that I adored about her was that she felt secure enough in my love for her that she did not feel threatened by amorous approaches by other ponies. Of course, having a laugh at my expense was the price I paid for that. I would willingly keep paying it too. I loved to see my wife happy.
Trixie composed herself and addressed the audience once more. “Has anypony any further questions?”
One newspony mare got in ahead of the others. “There’s a rumor that the dragons have demanded the entire Royal Treasury in payment for their services. If so, how is this going to affect the Equestrian economy?”
I gave the mare a hard stare as many of the ponies murmured in dismay. How had such an outlandish exaggeration come about? Torch required payment for his and the other dragons’ participation in the raid, of course, but bankrupting the nation was never an option.
I spoke up. “That is not true. In keeping with the royal policy of making alliances with several races for mutual defense, negotiations had been held with the Dragonlord and Torch in particular. An agreement was reached for fair remuneration which, while large, would certainly not be beyond our means. Subsequent to the raid though, we went to the Dragon Lands with a proposal that we believed would be of great benefit to both the dragons and the Triarchy….”
There was no sense putting off the inevitable, so I gathered my team and headed to Twilight’s Castle. Back in the Portal Room, I nodded to the Princess of Friendship. Twilight activated the string of six pony-sized portals that took us in stages to the Dragon Lands on the far side of the Black Spine Mountains. At each stop, she planted spares into the ground. We might be gone longer than the two hours that the gateways would last so we needed a way back.
At General Crushing Blow’s order, Crimson had used four of the six biggest portals Equestria possessed to create enormous gateways that Torch could traverse from his home to the staging location a mile from the Crystal Hive. Along with portal size, the bigger daggertooth scales reached a much longer distance, but were still limited to the two hour lifetime. Until we procured more of the large, flawless scales from the Seaquestrians, we wouldn’t hire Torch for any similar mission… if we could even afford a second one. Which brought up why we were here today.
I stepped out onto the basalt flats, closely followed by Spike, Twilight, Moon Dancer, and a bespectacled elderly earth stallion. His gray suit jacket was a shade darker than his neatly trimmed mane and tail and his cutie mark was a gold coin resting on an iron bar. He pulled a clipboard out of his saddlebags and sat down at the rear of our group, an amused smile on his face.
Turning to the front, I saw the new Dragonlord, a bright blue young dragon female casually holding her staff of office. She had a wry grin on her face that grew wider when she saw Spike waving. Behind Ember loomed her father in the mouth of his cave, just as enormous as his impressive bulk. He was beaming from ear to ear, and why shouldn’t he be? It was payday. An assortment of lesser dragons surrounded him, though respectfully at a distance and none within Torch’s reach. I recognized a couple of them from the battle at the Crystal Hive. I had to assume these were the other dragons who had helped. They had come based on promises from the former Dragonlord. Subcontractors, essentially. Regardless, Equestria’s contract was with Torch, so that’s who we would address.
Spike walked between our groups and raised his hands. “Greetings, Dragonlord Ember! Great to see you again!” The little dragon was trying as hard as he could to be formal for this business meeting but it just ran counter to everything he was. Nevertheless, it had been through his efforts that this alliance had been created in the first place after I had gotten curious about what a retired dragon did, so we had nothing to complain about.
Ember smiled back and I could hear the affection in her tone. “I’m glad to see you too, Spike. Why don’t you introduce everypony to me and my father?”
“Sure thing! First, there’s my big sister, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
The purple alicorn bowed. “Please, just call me Twilight.”
Spike continued. “…aaaaaand Prince Mark Wells.”
I took a step forward and bowed. “A pleasure to finally meet you, Dragonlord. Spike had told us all about your adventure together.”
Ember replied. “Likewise. I haven’t been able to visit Equestria since I took the throne, but I look forward to accepting your invitation to visit Canterlot Castle.”
I looked up… way up to see Torch’s smiling face. He said, “If it isn’t the little shape-changing pony prince.” I couldn’t really take offense. Compared to him, I was certainly little.
He waved a hand with claws longer than my body. “Take your other form, would you? Celestia and I would have the most wonderful screaming matches. All the way from the time I was barely a hatchling. My favorite pony ever.”
I didn’t want to offend him this early in our talks, so I did as he requested, standing proud and tall in my long-maned form. The dragons surrounding us started muttering appreciatively. It seemed Celestia had left quite a positive impression on many of the dragons. Considering she could most likely mop the floor with any of them, I shouldn’t have been surprised. I said, “I’m also glad to see you again when you aren’t tearing hives apart, Torch.”
The dragon’s laugh rolled like thunder. “Oh, that was the most fun I’ve had in ages! Working as a team? Taking orders from a pony? What a strange and interesting day that was.”
His eye-ridges rose higher. “Ah! And remember when I said there were a couple of dragons I wanted to use those clever gauntlets on when I got home? Guess which pair of brothers decided to lay claim to my hoard, gambling that I would not return from the battle?” He gestured to a couple of strings of boulders that decorated the lip of rock at the top of his cave. They were a slightly different color than the surrounding stone. Looking carefully, I picked out spines on one and a fin on the other. The sections of rock were actually tails from a pair of unlucky dragons. Torch’s smile was proud but his eyes were appraising me.
I glanced back to see Twilight with a forced and unconvincing smile and Moon Dancer swaying on her hooves a bit. In contrast, the earth pony stallion was calmly cleaning his glasses then went back to look over his clipboard. Bankers.
I turned back to Torch, ignoring Spike retreating back to our group. I gave the gigantic dragon a smile. “I’m glad you have continued to find the gauntlets to be useful.”
“Indeed.” Torch’s smile turned more genuine. Apparently, the tiny faux-Celestia passed some sort of test. “Now I just need to decide what price I want them to pay for their body parts before they scab up. Or I could just keep them as decorations, I suppose.” He tapped his chin with a claw, causing deep tremors to fill the air.
I said, “I’ll leave that to you, Torch. Spike, would you introduce our last two ponies?”
Spike jumped as if he had been poked with a stick. “Wha? Oh, yeah! The mare is Moon Dancer, our resident legal expert. And the stallion is Fiduciary Trustee. His family owns the largest privately held bank in all of Equestria.”
Moon Dancer bowed deeply which was matched by the stallion. After straightening up, he said, “A pleasure to finally talk to the last dragon to successfully snatch the gold and jewels from an Equestrian bank. A hundred and seventy-eight years ago at our branch office in Fillydelphia.”
Torch’s smile crinkled the sides of his eyes. “Ah, you bring back great memories, pony. The times before dragon-proof vaults that can’t be pulled out of the ground because of your earth pony magic.” He leaned closer and blew a puff of smoke from his nostrils. “I hope you aren’t here to try to reclaim my properly-won spoils.”
The stallion waved a hoof. “Absolutely not. There’s no reason to. Your raid took place right after closing so no customers or employees were injured. Our bank received full compensation from one insurance company for the property damage and from another for the loss in assets. Besides, that branch was long overdue for refurbishment. And that’s not even mentioning the lax security measures you conclusively demonstrated. As a result of that day, all creatures across Equus can now rely on Equestria to keep their valuables totally safe.” He had said this last sentence loudly as he scanned his eyes across the gathered dragons. After a pause, he returned his gaze to Torch. “If anything, you did us a favor.”
While I heard murmuring from the throng that surrounded us, Torch had stopped moving, staring levelly at the earth pony. The dragon seemed to be critically evaluating what Fiduciary Trustee had said from multiple angles. No, despite his bluster, this was not a simple beast that only thought with his claws and teeth.
Ember spoke up. “You are all welcome here in the Dragon Lands. Let’s move on to the topic at hoof, as you ponies would put it. With the Dragonlord’s permission, three months ago, Torch entered into a contractual agreement with Equestria. The gauntlets were to be provided as a retainer for his services but were completed just before the raid. If Torch were to be called into battle, he would be paid his weight in gold and medium to high-quality gems within one month. He could bring other dragons along if he desired, paid for by himself from his fee. A last moment change to the contract required him not to harm any of the captive ponies held prisoner in the hive, otherwise, he would forfeit his payment. Does this all sound correct?”
Moon Dancer said, “Yes, it does.”
“And were any of the ponies held prisoner harmed by Torch’s actions?”
The mare shook her head. “They were not.”
Torch’s tone of voice was a bit more menacing than before. “I can’t help but notice that you did not bring a mountain of gold and jewels along with you.”
I looked up. “Equestria will honor its agreement and make full payment by the end of the one month period if that is your desire, Torch. What we are here to propose today is something potentially more lucrative. Something that will increase your wealth over time instead of letting it decrease.”
The dragon lowered his head until it was level with mine. His eyes narrowed. “Gold and gems outlive even the dragons. How can they lose value if they are eternal?”
I said, “Dragons consume gems for sustenance and hoard both gold and gems for their value. Other races prize them for their rarity and usefulness. For instance, some unicorn spells can be stored in high-quality gems for invoking later. Their value depends upon how much of that item is available compared to how many want to use it. We call that ‘supply and demand’.”
I sat down and waved a hoof. “There have been some recent developments that are changing the value placed on most gems. A couple of diamond dog packs have entered into partnership agreements with pony corporations to greatly expand their operations. With the help of unicorns and their spells, one clan has vastly increased both the quality and quantity of their gem mining. The other is producing three times as much gold as they did before the partnership, and they are still in the early stages. While this will greatly increase the prosperity of those diamond dogs, it will also decrease the value of gold and gems that are already out of the ground. That includes those in your hoards. I know dragons trade for items from other races: wine, jewelry, exotic gemstones, and other things you find valuable. Soon, those things will be going up in price. It will cost more and more gold and gems to acquire them.”
The dragons surrounding us started up their discussions again, not sounding pleased.
Torch said, “And you have a better idea.”
I nodded. “Let me have Fiduciary Trustee explain it.”
The earth pony stallion walked up to my side and sat down. “I could go into all sorts of numbers and financial terms to describe the idea, but it boils down to this: Have the ponies pay you in gold and gems on a regular basis.”
Torch narrowed his eyes. “Why would ponies do this?”
“Because that is what they do all the time at my bank. We give them temporary use of some of the funds we control. They return the money in installments. For the privilege of using those funds, they pay us back more than what they borrowed.”
Ember said, “And this is successful? You don’t lose funds to failed businesses and dishonest ponies?”
Fiduciary turned to face her. “That does happen on occasion, but we’ve been in business for over three hundred years. Our experience prevents most losses from becoming grievous. Our income pays for our employees’ salaries, upkeep of our properties, and expansion to new territories. Our newest branch office opened in Griffonstone last year.”
He sighed and took off his glasses. He cleaned them with a handkerchief (or was it a hoofkerchief?) before continuing. “The First Lipizzan Bank and Trust has been in my family for a dozen generations, but I am the last to bear a cutie mark and talent for my profession. My siblings, their children, and their grandchildren all have followed different paths. At this point, I want to retire and found a museum celebrating the history of Equestrian Art. While I have received offers for the purchase of my institution, none of the interested parties has impressed me. They want the prestige of owning a bank without remembering its purpose…” He jammed his glasses back on his muzzle forcefully then glared at Torch. “… make a damn profit!”
He pointed his hoof at the enormous dragon. “You and your lot understand the concept of growing your hoard slowly over time. You all also lack the ability to exchange the gems you don’t want for those that you do. A branch office here would be a benefit for all dragons.”
Torch tilted his head slightly. “You expect me to spend my reward to buy your bank?”
Fiduciary Trustee scoffed. “No. You would buy full control of the bank for less than a third of it. The rest would go to greatly expanding the banks’ investments all over Equus. Our bank alone has received a dozen inquiries from other diamond dog clans. The griffons finally have their beaks out of their collective rear ends and are approaching business seriously for the first time in generations. Dozens of public service projects are shovel-ready, just waiting for funding. The entire world of Equus is now opening up. The personnel I’ve hired through the years are all a capable lot. They could expand to be the premier bank across multiple nations but they need the capital and leadership to make that happen.”
The earth pony frowned. “Now then – are you the being for the job or did I waste my time coming out here?”
A smile grew across Torch’s face and he started laughing. When he was done, he looked down at the banker. “You are so much like your ancestor. When I pulled the vault out of the ground, ponies scattered away as fast as they could – except for one pony with the same color coat as yours. He just gave me a disapproving look and said something about ‘paying over time’ before turning away and ignoring me.” The huge dragon lay down and waved a claw. “Get comfortable, pony. I am intrigued, but I will need to know more before I give my answer.”
Torch turned to me. “Princess Mark Wells, I will need a fifth-part of my fee to pay those dragons that came with me. They won’t accept promises of wealth in the future.”
“E-Excuse me.” All of us turned to see a medium-sized dragon slowly move forward. She had scales very similar in color to Twilight’s lavender hue with a shock of dark purple fins on her head. Her most surprising features were two large ears that would have made a rabbit proud. After nodding, she said, “My name is Scrounger. Would you explain what you meant about getting ponies to pay us?”
Fiduciary blinked a couple of times. “The most basic way is to leave your portion of the reward with us, and the bank pays you one-twentieth-part of that in your choice of gems or in gold once per year.”
Scrounger nodded again, signaling her understanding… or perhaps it was just a habit. “For how long?”
The earth pony shrugged. “As long as you want. Potentially forever.” That got a gasp out of the dragons all around us.
A stout green male spoke next. “What if we want to increase our hoard faster?”
“Then you have several options. You can put your yearly payments back into your account. Now you have more money generating wealth for you. By doing this, you will double your wealth in 14 years. Also, you could deposit gems and gold that you do not want to guard, as Equestrian banks have an outstanding record for keeping all funds safe.” That got many looks between the assembled dragons. I imagined the smallest and most vulnerable ones found that idea appealing.
Fiduciary continued. “Also, you can team up with other dragons to provide capital directly to Chapter-P corporations such as the diamond dog ventures. The risk is higher, but there is also the chance to double, triple, or even quadruple your investment in a year’s time.”
Torch blew out a large cloud of black smoke. “And what if I or one of these whelps decides to take back their entire hoard? What then?”
“Then you need to remember how a bank works. We do not dig a pit and put all of the gold and gems inside. We let other beings use that money to make more. The bits sitting around the bank doing nothing are just losing value. If a dragon wants to take out all of their funds, that’s fine. It might take a week or two depending upon the size of their account. If all dragons decide to withdraw their hoards at once, the bank will refuse. When that happens, the bank will allow small withdrawals until the loaned out money returns.”
The huge dragon snorted. “So it’s all a gamble.”
The earth pony smiled. “One that has been paying off for over three hundred years.”
The dragon and pony smiled at each other.
Torch turned his gaze to his daughter. “What do you think, Dragon Lord?”
The blue dragoness tapped her staff of office against her palm a few times as she looked down at the ground. She then turned to face the rest of her subjects. “Dragons! You have heard what the ponies have to offer. By show of claws, how many of you would want your bits and gems from the Equestrians now?”
Slowly, more and more drakes lifted a clawed hand until about a third had been raised.
“And now who would try the pony way of gaining more wealth?”
Much faster, the remainder of the dragons put their hands up. I noticed that many of these were the smaller and presumably younger individuals.
Ember turned to look at her father. “I think this bank would tie the fate of dragons more closely than ever to that of ponies. However, the benefits would outweigh the negatives, especially if we could entice diamond dogs and their unicorn business partners to the Black Spire Mountains. You have the Dragon Lord’s permission if you choose to continue.”
Torch smiled proudly at his daughter. “Indeed. Strip mining by dragons already fails to reveal as many rich veins as it did in my youth.”
Ember turned to face the earth pony. “None of your pony rules prevent dragons from owning these banks?”
Moon Dancer stepped up. “I’ve reviewed all of the applicable legal codes. There are no such restrictions. In addition, because the customers and bank employees have a contractual mechanism in place with the bank, not with the owner, Torch’s personal savings would be protected by law. That includes the funds used to expand the bank’s investments.”
In the intervening silence, Twilight spoke up. “Torch, umm… if you decide to make this investment, I thought of something those two dragons could do for you to earn their… tails back.” Her own tail twitched uncomfortably. “Not all business matters can come to you. Sometimes, you will need to make a personal appearance at meetings of the bank Board of Directors and other occasions. I’ve put in a couple of requests to get more daggertooth scales that can be used to set up portals big enough to get you to Canterlot. When you are gone, perhaps those two dragons can, in turn, guard your treasure for you?” She gave a nervous smile.
A low, rumbling sound came from Torch’s throat. “Hmmmm.. Yes. That would be of value to me. I think a period of twenty years. He craned his head to look beyond the gathered dragons at two more a good distance away. I saw them nod their heads vigorously.
I had to grin at Twilight’s suggestion. Always the Princess of Friendship.
Torch looked back at Fiduciary Trustee. “The name of the bank is unacceptable.”
It was Fiduciary’s turn to snort. “Since you were not born a Lipizzaner pony, I would hardly think the name would stay the same.”
Ember spoke up. “As impressive as ‘The Bank of the Dragon Lord’ might have been, it would no longer be accurate. How does this sound as an alternative…?”
“…and so, thanks to the First Draconian Bank, Equestria can look forward to a significant boost to its economy and the Treasury will reap some much-needed taxes that will be utilized for several projects that we presently have on hold pending financing. In all, it’s a win-win for everypony and dragon. I hope this has allayed any fears that you may have had. Next question, please!”
The Law of Unintended Consequences holds true in Equestria just as well as it did on Earth. We had to dispatch several squads of Royal Guards to rescue ponies from the trouble that they got into when they ventured into the Everfree Forest in pursuit of poison joke. They all had visions of some amazing transformation similar to mine, every one of them ignoring the fact that my Celestial form was likely shaped by Harmony for its own purposes, while all the other changes were ridiculous and/or inconvenient. Beyond removing the ponies from the forest, the Guards were under orders not to further assist any victims unless there was a risk to their wellbeing. It was felt that they should suffer the consequences of their foolishness. One mare whose udders had been enlarged to such a huge degree that she could barely waddle took over half a day to make it from the outskirts of the Everfree to the Ponyville Spa to get the cure. Rainbow Dash was taking bets on how many ponies were cursed and what kind of silliness had been imposed on them by the treacherous blue flowers.
Despite the multitude of failures, ponies kept coming. The Ponyville Spa was making a fortune charging for the cure. At first, they were requiring just a little above the standard rate for the use of the cure-infused waters of the big tub, but as the clients kept coming, they upped the price to one hundred bits. The next day, the cost went up to two hundred bits. Still, the victims kept coming. At the urging of the Crown, they jacked up the price to three hundred with signs prominently displayed near the forest to advise that it would continue to climb each day. Nevertheless, it was two weeks before the last of the idiots tried their luck.
I didn’t escape the consequences either. Zecora gave me quite a tongue-lashing in iambic pentameter for encouraging that behavior. After a five minute melodic brow-beating, I shook my head in wonder and said, “That's incredible. How in the world can you do that?”
Zecora just glared at me, closed her mouth, and stomped off.
Penny asked, “Were you listening to any of the things she called you? I was taking notes! She's extremely creative.”
“No, not really. I was too amazed at how she was doing it.”
Penny gave me her trademark fang-filled grin. “Don't worry. I'll feed them back to you when you are least expecting them and more likely to pay attention.”
If Equestria wasn't bad enough already – now I have mares teaming up to knock me down!
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