Friendship is Failure #16: Write of Way

by DakariKingMykan


Act 1: Dis-interesting

ACT ONE

The next afternoon, the gang arrived by train to Canterlot.

“Couldn’t we have just teleported?” asked Spike, but Twilight sighed “I told you this before, I can’t warp all of us and the luggage at the same time.”

Rarity then stepped off the train wearing elegant sunglasses and a sunhat with a kerchief around silky her neck. “Even still, Spike, the train is a most moderate way to travel, and quite stylish as well.”

The others rolled their eyes, and all helped with the luggage.

Rarity, as usual, brought along a lot more than she had too-- many suitcases, and steamer trunks-- all filled with her best gowns, make up and jewelry.

Starlight had to tease. “This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with a certain Some-Pony we’re looking for?”

Rarity blushed, “Well, one must look presentable to be meeting with one so gifted, talented and charitable.”

She fell into another lovey-dovey daze as she thought of him, “Oh, Stone Heart.”

She was suddenly snapped out of her trance by a rather wretched smell as some-pony passed by her.

“Excuse me.” he said in low tone as he passed by her to reach the garbage bin behind her, which he then used unicorn magic to levitate the can and unload the trash into his wagon off the platform.

Rarity stepped back, and covered her nostrils by levitating a hankie, but as the collector unloaded the trash, she noted how familiar he seemed…!

…A navy blue unicorn with a short brown mane, but she couldn’t see his cutie-mark as his sanitation uniform hid his flank.

He didn’t even seem to notice her, and just placed the garbage bin back before returning to his wagon and going about his duties to collect more trash.

“Rarity?” said Twilight, snapping her out of her trance, “Come on, we need to check into our hotel.”

Rarity agreed, and then levitated her luggage onto another wagon she had rented.


Finally, the friends had reached their hotel, and Rarity spent a good deal of time trying to choose which outfit to wear or how to pretty herself up when she found and met Stone Heart.

“Rarity, it’s no big deal.” said Starlight “He’s just an author, and he probably wouldn’t care less of how you look.”

Rarity only chuckled, “Oh, Starlight, one never knows, and one should always come prepared, prettied, and perfect.”

Twilight and Starlight rolled their eyes.

“I think you look pretty just as you are, Rarity.” said Spike.

She smiled lovingly at him for that. “Oh, Spike, you are so sweet.”

He blushed and rubbed the back of his head.

Eventually, Rarity decided to just go as she casually was. After all, their first destination was Canterlot Order of Writers, in hopes they could contact Stone Heart from there.

At least they had the address which was printed on the book, and Twilight knew where it was too, remembering all the books she had read from those fine writers during her time in Canterlot.

On their way, Rarity suddenly stopped when she noticed that trash gathering pony again.

A mail courier approached him, and handed him a single envelope, which the pony tried to give back, rather by force.

“I don’t want this cheque and that is final!” he growled.

“I sorry but I can’t take it back. It must be delivered to whom its addressed to.” protested the courier “…Besides, why would you reject this? You earned it, and everyone loves the story, even I did.”

The other pony looked very cross, but he took the cheque anyway and then angrily stormed off with his trash wagon, stopping a moment at a siding where two ponies were gathering donations for a charity to feed the poor, and he simply deposited the entire cheque just like that.

“Thank you very much.” one of the ponies called to him, but the trash pony didn’t even look back or smile. He just grabbed his wagon and headed off.

The two ponies were confused, but then looked at the cheque, and their eyes bulged at how much it was worth, and then they looked dismayed.

“That Stone Heart.” one of them groaned.


Rarity gasped!

“Rarity, what is it?” asked Starlight, but Rarity just galloped off.

“What’s got her?” wondered Twilight.

They followed her right up to the trash pony who was unloading another trashcan.

“Excuse me,” Rarity said “Are you Stone Heart, the famous author?”

The other pony looked crosser than ever, but he spoke calmly. “Yes, I am Stone Heart, but I am not a famous author.

If this is anything about my stories, please leave me alone.”


Rarity looked shocked, and the others had just caught up as Stone Heart pulled away with his wagon.

“What is it?” asked Spike.

Rarity explained,

“That’s Stone Heart?” Twilight said in shock “But what is he doing with a garbage wagon?”

“Um, taking out the trash?” said Spike.

Suddenly, they saw Stone up ahead being halted by two royal guards from the palace.

“Mr. Stone heart.” one of them said.

“Yes?” Stone replied in a groan.

The second guard held out a simple tray which held a royal scroll which the first guard read:

“This royal invitation is sent to Stone Heart, by order of her royal highness, Princess Celestia, who was fascinated and enamoured with the story “A Change of Heart” and wishes for you to appear as a special guest at her royal book club, at the palace, the very evening.”


Twilight and friends heard, and they were amazed. Not many ponies got invited like this by Princess Celestia to the palace, unless they really had earned it by her impressions.

…Yet, Stone Heart didn’t seem much moved at all by the invite.

“The princess is most eagerly excited to have you this evening.” said the guard “Shall we inform her of your acceptance?”

“No!” snapped Stone “Give my comments and tell her to “go to the devil!”


The guards, the gang, any-pony was nearby and heard him gasped in horror at what he had just said and watched as he walked off in a huff.

“No-Pony has ever turned down a royal invitation like that before.” said Twilight.

Rarity was finding it hard to catch her breath and felt like she would faint.

“Many ponies would give their very souls to be invited to the palace, and yet he turned it down as though it meant nothing to him.”

Even Starlight was completely shocked, but rather curious regarding Stone’s behaviour.

“He seems so grumpy, and miserable. Do you think maybe there’s something wrong with him?”

“Well, if I had to pull a garbage wagon around like that, I’d be pretty grumpy.” said Spike.

Twilight still didn’t understand. This was not the life or scene she expected a well-known author of a great book to be.

She thought for sure he’d have a happy life, and lots of fans and friends huddling around him.

“I think we should investigate this.”

The others agreed.


Stone Heart was just finishing his pickup rounds, when the gang caught up with him.

Twilight cleared her throat, “Stone Heart, I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

Stone looked up with a sneer, “I know who you are. I don’t believe there’s any-pony who doesn’t.”

Twilight felt a little embarrassed, “Anyhow… Several weeks ago I sent you a letter inviting you to my School of Friendship. May I ask why you never replied?”

Stone answered her very bluntly, “Simple: I wasn’t interested.”

Twilight’s eyes widened, but she sort of expected that from after seeing him turn down Celestia’s royal invitation.

“Um, can I ask why?”

Before Stone could answer her, a banana peel was dumped right by his feet.

“Hey, you good for nothing retard!” called a mean voice.

Stone looked and saw an orange unicorn with a red mane, and a cutiemark of a golden book on his flank.

“What do you want, Milles?”

“Nothing, I just thought you’d like a little trash to pick up, other than yourself or your worthlessness!”

Several ponies standing by laughed at Stone the way.

Twilight and friends were not pleased with this, but Stone just levitated the peel and tossed it into his trash wagon.

“Do you know him?” asked Starlight.

“Unfortunately, yes.” replied Stone “Milles Page is another famous writer whose published many successful stories, but he likes to go around and talk down to other ponies.”

Milles snuffed, “I talk down to ponies I feel deserve it, like those who won’t grow up and do something constructive for society!” he hinted strongly at Stone.

“Okay, calm down here,” said Spike “There’s no need to have a fight.”

“Never mind,” sneered Stone “I don’t have time for this anyway. I have another job to get to.”

With that, he pulled up his wagon and headed off.

“But wait, Stone Heart,” Twilight called.

“…Good day!” Stone called back, and he kept on going.

“That’s right,” Milles called to him “Good back to your worthless, retarded life of being stupid to every pony because you can’t get over yourself!”

Twilight did not at all take kindly to Milles taunting.

“That’s enough!” she grunted at him “What right did you have to call to him that way?”

“Pffft!” said Milles “He deserved it, and if you knew why, you’d do the same to him too.

I’m outta here. Unlike some-ponies, I actually have a life to live.”

Then he walked off, and Rarity snuffed “Such ilk and horridness!” she grumbled, “Then again, Stone Heart acted no differently.”

Already she was starting to feel less attracted to Stone Heart than she was before, but she like her friends still wanted to know why, and it was beginning to look as if maybe it were a friendship problem.

“Come on, every-pony,” said Twilight “Looks like we may have a mission to take care of.”

The others agreed and followed her in the direction that Stone had gone.