With a flash of light, the group of TDs appeared in the middle of... Ponyville?
Antares frowned as he stood up. "This doesn't make a lot of sense," he said. "I thought that Discord would be sending us somewhere else, but it looks like he's sent us right back to Ponyville."
"Well, I'm going to gather that it's a different Ponyville, considering that we're all TDs," Life TD said, sparing a brief glance at Antares.
"Either way, I'm pretty sure that he sent us somewhere to fix something," Little Rarity TD said, leaning against the hood of his car. "I have to imagine that he's not going to let us just dick around forever while we figure out what to do."
"Yeah, and it's not like I trust him at the best of times," 1.5 TD added, checking his guns. "He's got to be up to something that we're not going to like."
The Punchmaster frowned and crossed his arms. "Well, the Punchmaster will punch whatever Discord wants to... too..." The Punchmaster's eye twitched, and he let out a groan before grabbing onto the car to prevent himself from collapsing. The other TDs all rushed over to him.
"Dude, are you okay?" Life asked.
"Ugh." The Punchmaster rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. "What happened? Did I start punching things again?"
"I guess if that's what you want to call it," Rarity 1.5 TD said. "So you don't remember anything?"
"I remember finding a Man Comic," Punchmaster said. "After that, not too much." The Punchmaster looked up at everyone and his eyes widened. "Wait... what?!"
"Yeah, it's been kind of a day for all of us," Antares said. "We're all TDs. Even me. I ascended instead of Twilight."
"I married Cheerilee too," Life replied. "Just so you don't feel weird."
"I married Twilight," Rarity TD chimed in.
"Celestia. I married Celestia," Antares said. "Like I said, I ascended instead of Twilight. My name is Antares now."
Punchmaster blinked a few times before looking over to 1.5 TD who shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. I think you're all freaks for marrying ponies."
"Right. Right." Punchmaster sighed and rubbed his temples. "So what is going on exactly?"
"Well, Discord grabbed all of us and brought us together," Life said. "Apparently we're the 'TDest of TDs', and we have to come together to stop some great evil. You keep talking about being The Punchmaster, or something like that."
"Right, yeah, that makes sense," Punchmaster replied. He shook his head and stood up. "So Discord brought us all together for something?"
"Yeah, apparently there's some great evil that we have to stop, and only we can do it," Little Rarity said. "Not sure what it is or how we're supposed to stop it, but he brought us to the DMV and then sent us here after a little bit of exposition."
"Oh great," Punchmaster said with a roll of his eyes. "Really class act, that one."
"Yeah, but on the plus side, he did arm us," Antares pointed out, motioning to his war hammer. "I got this, he got the car, he got a bunch of guns, he got a combat staff and some knives, and you..." Antares frowned and tilted his head. "You got a bunch of comic books."
Punchmaster instantly perked up and noticed a bag strapped to his back. He reached into it and pulled out a Man Comic with an insane giggle. "Oh yeah, ohhhhh yeah." He chuckled and put the comic back into the bag. "Don't worry, everybody. The Punchmaster has it all under control."
Everyone else rolled their eyes, but didn't comment further.
"So what's the next move?" Life asked. He looked around and scratched his chin. "Looks like we're fairly close to Sweet Apple Acres. I guess we can either check there to see if there's anything weird, or maybe try to find Twilight and see if she knows something."
"Yeah, for sure!" Little Rarity said, perking up a little. "Twilight would probably have an idea if something isn't right."
"Like several different TDs going around?" Life asked dryly.
"Yeah!"
"Not your Twilight," 1.5 said. "Not your Twilight." He groaned and rubbed his temples. "I still can't believe that I'm the only non-weirdo who didn't marry a pony."
"You make do," Life, Little Rarity, and the Punchmaster all said at the same time.
"I'm a pony myself, dude," Antares said right alongside them.
"Right. Whatever," 1.5 grumbled. "Let's just... I don't know, go to Sweet Apple Acres." He turned to Antares and motioned to the car. "Can you hide that or protect it or whatever?"
Antares nodded and lit his horn. "Good idea. Probably not best if the ponies around here find it." With that, Antares cast a spell on the car that both turned it invisible and turned beings that got too close away. With that done, he nodded. "Alright. I'm agreeing that we should go to Sweet Apple Acres. It's closest, and it's as good a place to start as any."
The rest of them grunted in agreement and began walking to the farm. Even from where they started, the could all see the tops of the apple trees of Sweet Apple Acres. It wasn't more than a moment before they reached the farm. As they neared the trees, they heard the grunt of somebody shaking the apple trees. The group walked in the direction of the noise to find...
Another TD.
This TD was wearing a pair of jeans, a plaid, flannel shirt, and a cowboy hat. He was shaking the apple trees, making the apples drop into the buckets situated underneath them. Just as he finished a tree, he turned to the group, and his eyes widened when he saw them.
"Oh..." He blinked and rubbed his eyes, but the five of them didn't disappear. He whistled in amazement and shook his head. "Boy howdy. Now Ah've seen everythin'." He chuckled and leaned against a tree. "Not what Ah was expectin' when Ah woke up this mornin', that's fer sure."
The other five TDs all stared at the new one with various shocked expressions on their faces. It was Life that spoke up first.
"Uh... yeah. Not a normal day for us either. Where, uh..." Life tilted his head. "Where are you from, exactly?"
Country TD frowned and tilted his head as well. "Huh. Now that Ah really didn't expect. None of y'all from mah neck of the woods?"
"Colorado," the five of them said at the same time.
Country TD chuckled and adjusted his hat. "Wow. Ah didn't see that comin'. Ah'm from Texas mahself." Country TD smirked and raised a fist. "Go Cowboys."
The original five TDs all groaned and rolled their eyes.
"Seriously? You're a Cowgirls fan?" 1.5 grumbled.
"Uh, I think that of the six of us, I was on Earth the last," Little Rarity said. "Cowboys suck. They went four and twelve two years in a row."
Country TD straightened up and narrowed his eyes. "Ah don't believe you. Lyin's just about the worst thing somepony can do."
"Somepony?" Life said with a raised eyebrow.
"He's gone native," 1.5 said through gritted teeth.
"What's wrong with that?" Antares asked with a frown.
"So, uh, TD..." Life frowned. "That is your name, right?"
Country TD nodded. "Yessir. Stands for Thaddeus Donald."
The eyes of the five widened to the size of dinner plates.
"What?!" Little Rarity cried. "You mean your name actually stands for something?!"
"Yessir," Country replied. "Why. Don't yours?"
"NO!" the four non-alicorn TDs said.
"Well, I took a pony name when I ascended. My named is Antares," Antares said. "But yeah, when my name was TD, it didn't stand for anything."
Country TD snorted. "Well ain't that somethin'? Ah don't see why you'd just have two letters as a name. Not all that creative if'n ya ask me. Least Ah use it as a nickname 'cause Ah don't like the name Thaddeus." Country TD wrinkled his nose. "Even if it's mah great-great-granduncle's name."
"I thought our great-great-granduncle's name was Anthony Edward," The Punchmaster muttered.
"I'm beginning to see that there are some differences between us," Little Rarity pointed out.
"For sure," Country TD agreed. "Bet y'all didn't marry who Ah did either."
"Unless you married Celestia, Cheerilee or Twilight, I really doubt it," Antares said.
Country TD chuckled and shook his head. "Wouldn't do ta marry mah own sister-in-law," he said, causing Life and The Punchmaster to deflate a little. "Cheers married Big Mac a couple 'a years ago. Celestia ain't ever married, and Twi married Somepony named Lightning Dust."
1.5 sighed and facepalmed. "Sheesh. so I'm guessing you married--"
"Boy howdy. Didn't expect this."
As the five of them expected, Applejack walked through the trees to stand next to Country TD. She frowned and looked up to Country TD. "Darlin' this some kind of magic thing?"
"Guess so, sugarcube," Country TD replied. "For some reason, a bunch of kind of alternates of mine showed up. Haven't gotten to the why quite yet."
"Huh, weird."
"So I take it that you two married," Life said.
"Sure did," Applejack said, leaning against Country TD and giving him a loving smile. "Been married for five years now."
"Got hitched about six months after Ah showed up in Equestria," Country TD said, putting a hand on Applejack's head. "Ain't never been happier."
"Yeah..." Life grumbled. "So... is that a Cowboy's jersey she's wearing?"
The other four TDs all noticed the jersey Applejack was wearing. It was indeed a fairly close representation of a Dallas Cowboy's home jersey, complete with the name ROMO emblazoned on the back nameplate. Applejack smirked at the five TDs and buffed a hoof against her chest.
"You'd better believe it. When TD told me about the Cowboys and how they did in the nineties, well, Ah couldn't just not support mah husband's team, now could I?"
All five of the TDs sighed and rubbed their temples. "I might have been fibbing a bit about how they've been doing in terms of record, but I'm not lying when I say that they've won, what, two playoff games in the last fifteen years, or something like that," Little Rarity said.
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah? How good the Donkeys doin' these days?"
"Pretty good, last I saw," 1.5 said, nodding to the other two. "Broncos just won the Super Bowl with Peyton Manning as our QB when I was there last."
Country TD snorted and shook his head. "Bet y'all got lucky."
"Good D, actually," Little Rarity said. He groaned and waved his hand. "Okay, this has been great and all, but we're not here to talk football. We're here because Discord has us all trying to stop some kind of disaster. He didn't say what it was, but it's obviously something important."
"Discord?" Country TD and Applejack exchanged a look before turning their attention back to the group. "So did y'all not keep him in stone?"
"Well I killed him," Antares said with a shrug. "I think he reformed for the rest of these guys, though."
"Still in stone for us," Country TD said. He smiled and put his hand on Applejack's head. "AJ here got injured when he got free not long after Ah showed up in Equestria. Used the Element of Honesty mahself while she recovered."
"Oh for pete's sake," The Punchmaster grumbled while the rest of them rolled their eyes.
"Oh Celestia, what's goin' on here?!" Everybody turned to see a teenaged Apple Bloom come through the trees to meet them. She too was wearing a Cowboy's jersey with the name AIKMAN on the nameplate. However, the most surprising part was the foal carrier strapped to her side, in which an orange furred, red maned earth pony colt of no more than one slept.
Country TD and Applejack smiled, and Country TD walked over to Apple Bloom. "These here are TDs from other dimensions, Ah think," he said, kneeling down next to Apple Bloom and gently lifting the colt out of the carrier. "Even the alicorn, Ah think."
Apple Bloom whistled in amazement and shook her head. "Now Ah've seen everythin'."
"Take it from me: you really haven't," Antares insisted. "Heck, I've ascended, married Celestia, had a filly with her, led a world war, killed Discord, and I haven't seen everything."
"Filly with Celestia, huh?" Country TD chuckled and nuzzled the colt close. "Bet that was pretty crazy."
Life's eyes narrowed, and he took a step toward Country TD. "So... is that yours?" Country TD nodded, and Life looked over at Applejack. "He looks a lot like Applejack. Did you... adopt?"
Country TD's eye narrowed, and he held the sleeping colt closer. "Now wait just a darned minute. Golden Apple is mine, got it? Ain't none of you compatible with your wives?"
1.5 let out a choking noise and leaned back against a tree. "No. No no no, tell me that you didn't."
"Wait, if Discord isn't reformed in your world..." Little Rarity gulped. "Do you have some other kind of magic that changes one of you into the others' species for intercourse?"
The silence told the five all they needed to know. 1.5's dry heaving told everyone what he thought about that.
"You gotta do what you gotta do," Country TD said with a shrug. "Ain't much different from when griffins or zebras marry ponies. Besides, we're compatible and all that."
"She's also a fictional cartoon character on your original universe!" 1.5 growled.
Country TD frowned and tilted his head. "Huh? Whatcha talkin' about? Ain't no TV show with the ponies back on Earth."
Applejack chuckled and shook her head. "Unless mah husband is keepin' stuff from me."
The five TDs all exchanged a look. "No way," 1.5 muttered.
"Maybe," Little Rarity muttered back.
"So... you've never heard of the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?" Life asked.
Country TD shook his head. "Nope. Don't recall a TV show like that where Ah was from. There was a My Little Attack Possum: Guns and Explosions are Magic, but nothin' about ponies."
The Punchmaster's eyes widened. "Wait, really? So can Cheerilee and I go to your world, then?"
"This is all ridiculous," 1.5 muttered. He took a deep breath to steady himself, doing his best to not look at Golden Apple. "At least tell me that you punched Celestia in the face."
Country TD blushed and pulled his hat over his eyes. "Well... Ah can't rightly say that Ah'm very proud of it, but Ah was kinda shocked when Ah woke up in the hospital and found out that Ah couldn't go back to mah family's ranch."
"Kinda what made him stick out ta me," Applejack said with a smirk, bumping Country TD's leg.
"Princess Celestia was real nice about it, though," Apple Bloom pointed out. "Healed ya up pretty quick."
"Well, at least that's the same," Life said.
"I guess it would have to be," Antares agreed. "I mean..." He paused and narrowed his eyes. "Hang on. I think I sense something."
Little Rarity scoffed. "Sense something? What, are you a Jedi?"
"No, I just have passive magic," Antares explained. "I just need to..." He lit his horn and lifted his hammer into the air. "Something's coming. I don't know what it i--"
Before Antares could finish, the apples around them started falling off of the trees. They bounced on the ground as the apples already in the buckets began popping out like popcorn in an open pot. Country TD held Golden Apple closer, and Applejack and Apple Bloom took combat stances. Life assumed his own combat stance with Reginald, while Little Rarity and 1.5 cocked their guns. The Punchmaster took a Man Comic out of the pouch at his side.
"Whatever it is can't be good," Life said, uneasily eyeing an apple that was rolling on the ground. "We should--"
Before he could say anything else, the apples snapped together into a large pile that let out an unholy shriek. It instantly formed into an apple monster shaped like a dragon the size of one of the trees.
1.5 sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't better off dying against a hotel ice machine," he said through gritted teeth. "Either way..."
1.5 raised his gun and opened fire on the apple monster. Apple were turned to mush as the bullets hit, but if the apple monster was at all affected by the attack, it didn't show it. Instead it reached out and ripped a tree straight out of the ground. Before it could swing it at the group, a powerful beam of magic hit the tree, blowing it into splinters. Antares took to the air and flew above the monster. He reached down with his hammer and smashed it into the monster's head. It exploded in a pile of mush, but more apples rolled over to it, allowing it to reform.
"Whelp, ten bucks says that just hacking away at it won't work very well," Life said, "If I had to guess, there's some sort of magical core that we have to destroy before we can fully take it down."
"On it," Little Rarity said, grabbing his gun in one hand and Reginald in the other. Like the crazy TD he is, he charge straight at the apple dragon. He slid to duck underneath the dragon's swing and shot both of the dragon's kneecaps. The force of the bullets made it wobble, allowing Little Rarity to slam Reginald into where he'd hit the dragon. It let out another wail, then slowly started to fall. Antares lit his horn and tossed Little Rarity out of the way before it could land on him.
"Apple Bloom, get Golden Apple outta here!" Country TD cried, tossing his crying son to her. "Get Big Mac if ya can!"
"On it, Big Bro," Apple Bloom said with a little salute before rushing off with the baby. The apple dragon let out a deafening roar and turned in the direction of the two. With another roar, it raised a fist high. Everybody knew that if it hit Apple Bloom and the baby, they'd be obliterated.
The many TD timelines have led to many different TDs, all with their own unique skill sets. At the moment, the needed skill was speed. The dragon was about to bring its fist down on Apple Bloom and the foal, and it would take the greatest speed to save them. Each of the TDs get into "go" mode when they see a child in danger, but in this instance, one of them was so fast that he almost caused a Rainboom.
Before anybody could do anything else, Country TD zoomed over to 1.5, snatched the shotgun out of his hands, and fired two shots right into the eyes of the apple dragon. It roared in at least irritation if not pain and began thrashing about, smashing the trees around it into kindling.
"We gotta get this thing down!" Antares cried, cutting off a section of the apple dragon with his magic. "I can sense chaos magic around it, but it's unrefined." He cast a spell and tore out a chunk of the dragon. "Whoever is doing this is close."
"I have a plan!" Little Rarity said, backing away. He pointed at 1.5, Life, and Punchmaster. "Come with me. Alicorn one? Stall it for a few minutes, then get it to follow us!"
"Got it," Antares said.
"Whatever yer gonna do, do it fast!" Applejack said as she grabbed her lasso from underneath her hat (I assume) and began twirling it. "We can't let it do more damage!"
"It ain't gonna do more damage!" Country TD said, picking up a fallen tree branch and brandishing it at the apple dragon. "Hey ya big dumb thing! Over here!" The dragon roared at Country TD and began stomping over to him. Country TD smirked and flipped it the bird. "Yeah, that's right. Come on and get me, ya hear! Or are ya too stupid!"
"Might be time ta run, TD!" Applejack cried as she wrapped her lasso around one of the dragon's legs.
"Don't worry, I'm protecting him," Antares said. "Give me a few minutes and I'll find out where this is coming from!"
Applejack's lasso only succeeded in slowing the dragon down for a moment, but it was enough for Country TD to get a good head start. Antares cast a few spells from above to slow the monster down, but its efforts were focused singularly on Country TD. Country TD shouted out a few little obscenities and tossed a couple of rocks he'd picked up at the monster. Even as Antares was protecting Country TD, he was reaching out with his passive magic to try to discover the source of the chaos magic surrounding the apple dragon.
It was when the chase passed the outer edges of Sweet Apple Acres that everything went completely insane.
No, Country TD didn't trip on a rock, he turned and faced the apple dragon like a man. He thumped his chest and brandished the stick at it, ready to go down swinging.
Applejack pulled the lasso around the dragon's leg, causing it to stumble ever so slightly.
Antares's passive magic discovered the source of the chaos magic.
And then there was the car.
Before anybody could do anything, they all heard the sound of a revving car. The dragon didn't even have time to react to anything before Little Rarity's car came shooting over a hill, flying straight at the dragon. The windows were rolled down, and Little Rarity, 1.5, Life, and The Punchmaster were all leaning out of them, each brandishing a gun. With a traditional Powell war cry, the four of them opened fire. The dragon roared as hundreds of bullets started shredding it, splattering apple paste over the countryside for years to come. It stumbled as it was being destroyed faster than apples could roll from Sweet Apple Acres to replenish it, The final death knell for it was when the car slammed into it. The dragon instantly splattered into a million pieces, and no amount of apples in the world would repair it. The car came to a wet halt, nearly throwing the four TDs out of it.
"Guys, I found it!" Antares cried, landing on the roof and pointing at a random spot on the ground. "Whatever did this is going into another dimension!" He lit his horn and a portal slowly started forming on the ground. "If we hurry we can catch him!"
"Alrighty then, ladies," Little Rarity said, cracking his neck and grasping the steering wheel. "Let's get dangerous!"
With a cheer the car shot forward, with the portal growing large enough for the car just as it reached it. With a flash of white light, the five TDs and the car vanished.
The air was silent as Country TD and Applejack sat there in stunned silence at what had just happened. For the first time in a long time, neither of them thought that apples were all that great at the moment. It was TD who spoke first.
"Boy howdy." He chuckled and shook his head. "That ain't what Ah saw comin' when Ah woke up this mornin'."
"Me neither, TD," Applejack agreed. "This is gonna take a long time ta clean up." She chuckled and plopped down on the ground next to her husband. "But that's what's great about havin' a lovin' family and great friends."
"Sure as Ah'm sittin' here, sugarcube," TD said, wrapping an arm around Applejack to pull her in for a hug. He chuckled and adjusted the Stetson on his head. "Life sure is crazy, but Ah wouldn't give it up fer anythin'."
With that, the two sat and watched the sun slowly start to disappear over the horizon.