//------------------------------//
// Don't Knock It 'til You Try It 
// Story: Starlight's New Drinking Buddy 
// by Heartland Picker 
//------------------------------//

Starlight's New Drinking Buddy
Don't Knock It 'til You Try It

It was 2:30 on an early fall Friday afternoon. The sun was out and a low, cool breeze was moving through the grounds of the School of Friendship. Most students were just eager to get out of the classroom and enjoy the day just playing buckball, heading out to go fishing, or engaging in some other hobby just to put off doing their homework.

At least, this is what Benjamin Murdoch was thinking as he approached the front door of the school.

These musings were a mild source of nostalgia for the young luthier. Although such memories were mildly plagued with the reminder of the fact that he couldn't make it back to his old Oklahoma ranch home, Ben had accepted that he needed to move on with his life. Right now he had one mission: to give Starlight Glimmer her order of custom-made kite spars.

Now Ben's relationship with Starlight had a rocky start. The first meeting was convoluted by the fact that they were both already a bit agitated at the time. During the middle of summer, Ben ran out of spruce stock and had approached Burnt Oak about acquiring some extra. Unfortunately, Starlight had just run off with the last of it for kite spars (WAY more than she would have needed). After Ben called her out for it, Starlight made a retaliatory remark, thus evolving into a heated argument about scarcity of supplies. (Ben still couldn't figure out how that happened.)

In short, the whole thing came to blows, which led to Twilight Sparkle and Big Mac breaking up the fight. "Honestly Princess, I woulda gotten to ya sooner if their jabbin' weren't so damn funny," said Burnt. "I know one of them mentioned something about the other actin' like a beaver."

Big Mac would have died laughing on the spot if he weren't struggling to hold Ben to the ground.

Twilight, however, knew that disciplinary action would need to be taken: they would be forced to get to know each other over their respective occupations and hobbies for a month. Ben may not have been her pupil, but that didn't mean that she couldn't read him the riot act. Needless to say, neither party was the least bit enthused about this.

The first week was riddled with trading insults at each other, but it was tolerable. To Twilight's relief, however, the pair had simmered down in the midst of Week Two. The tension was gone, and there was polite interest in each others' pastimes. Unfortunately this had the side effect of both having an affinity for the use of...….. questionable language, usually involving some crude jokes. (Twilight eventually needed Big Mac to explain the beaver euphemism to her, at which she gawked with a blush.)

Anyway, that was then, this was now. After discussing what being a luthier meant, Starlight began requesting some specially-made kite spars for testing. Despite still not understanding the appeal of kites, Ben still wouldn't say "no" to some extra bits in-hand, plus she was willing to help him source alternative materials to what he normally used back home. I really need to thank her for that, he thought before opening the door. Who would have thought that cragadile bone would make a decent substitute for nut and saddle material.

Upon entering the building, Twilight was pacing in circles and mumbling (again). This ain't good. Still, Ben had to come up with something to break her reverie.

"Yo, Egghead", Ben called to her.

Twilight stopped pacing and gave him the evil eye. "I didn't like that joke coming from Rainbow Dash, and I sure as Tartarus don't appreciate it from you," Twilight said. "Especially given where we're standing."

Ben quipped, "Hey, it kept you from wearing another trench into the floor, right?" This earned him a less stern stinkeye from the neurotic princess. She's so tiny...….it's funny when she's mad. At this thought, Ben nearly chuckled, but deigned to just give her his signature crooked, smug grin. They remained like this for a minute or so until Ben decided to break the silence.

"Anywho, is Starlight in her office?" Ben inquired. "I've got the kite spars that she asked for the other day. Figured I should just bring them over before I got caught up in making another mandolin over the weekend."

At this, Twilight relaxed. I swear, if he hadn't showed up to town back in spring, Octavia probably would have lost her mind over DJ Pon-3 breaking another one of her cello bows. "Actually, that's why I was in a tizzy." She gave an apologetic look to the stocky, straw-haired man with the soul patch on his chin. "She's been working on records for the new students this semester, and it's been stressing her out. Maybe your presence and gift might get her calmed down, because I'm not sure how to break her out of her mood."

Oh brother. Ben could relate. Any time he had a customer constantly requesting changes to their guitar in the middle of the build, he'd be tempted to punt their ass out of the front door if it weren't for the fact that he liked his work. Thankfully it's just the Canterlot snobs who do that, especially since they usually don't care about the upcharges for the extra work. As much as he hated doing that to someone, a good craftsman could only take so many demands until he had to play hardball. Most everyone else knew exactly what they wanted like Octavia and AppleJack. "I'll see what I can do, okay? Catch ya later, Twi."

Twilight spoke her thanks and waved him off. "Good luck!" she called after him.





As he was approaching Starlight's office, the sound that came was the loudest groan of exasperation to ever pound into his eardrums since the mandatory meetings began. I have a feeling that the new spars may not do much to brighten her day. With mild hesitation, he knocked on the door.

"I'll be with you in a moment," Starlight called from inside the office. The sound of papers flying and magic could be heard from Ben's side of the door. Then the sound of another shot of magic came through followed by a low "Come in".

Ben came into the room, and Starlight gave a start. "Oh! Ben!" Starlight said. She then teleported to her desk before Ben could take note of her current state. It was then he noticed that her smile was a bit forced, and her hair was particularly frazzled.

Definitely not one of her better days, Ben mused.

With a bit of strain in her voice, Starlight spoke up, "so what brings you by?"

Ben then answered, "Sorry if I interrupted anything. Just bringing in those spars that you asked for."

Starlight, shocked by this, said, "Really? it only took you two days to get to that?"

Now Ben's face had switched to deadpan, which made his square jaw more obvious. "Starlight, that was last week." When Starlight's face had switched to a look of confusion, Ben nearly did a facepalm. Damn, she must have gotten worked up over some kind of missing detail. That or unintentionally gave some bad advice.

"Last week?" she inquired. The frazzled unicorn went to her desk and checked the giant calendar on the top. Now she was in a total state of shock. What the shit?! How did I lose track of time? I shouldn't be stressing like this, but I need to get these files straightened out by next Wednesday! Oh, what if I don't get done in time? EEP! What if Twilight fires me for this!? STOP STRESSING!

Ben noticed that she was getting more frazzled by the second. I don't think she can take much more of this kind of pressure, self-imposed or not. She desperately needs to unwind. A thought suddenly crossed his mind. It's the weekend damnit. I don't think kites will do much good if she's in this state of mind. Time to use the big guns. At this point, Starlight was now worrying out loud. Ben decided now was the time to act, thus resulting in Starlight's cheeks being smashed by his large, callused hands. To this she became quiet.

"Starlight, you need to get out of the office for the weekend: mind and all. Do I make myself clear?"

All Starlight could manage at this point was a slight nod. As much as she hated the "chipmunk cheeks" hold being used on her (any normal day this was grounds for a warning spell), she was well aware that Ben was in "no nonsense" mode. "Good," Ben whispered.

However, Starlight still needed to speak up. With a bit of a muffle to her speech, she said, "Uhm, could you let go of me now?"

Ben released her, then gave her a look of total resolve. "There's only one good solution for this: alcohol."

At this, Starlight became indignant. "Ben, you know that I have an image to maintain for my job. I must maintain a standard of decency if this school is to have a good reputation. If I even consider cutting loose with the booze anytime soon, then the school falls apart alongside my reputation. I thought you of all, erm….people, was it? Right. Point is, you see where I'm coming from."

Now it was Ben's turn to be irritated. Oy vey. "Starlight, I ain't telling you to drink like a fish. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is make you look like a fool to the EEA. Yes, I'm right there with ya on the issue of professionalism, but that's not what this is about. The point is you're losing your mind over the more mundane things of the job. Frankly, from what I've heard, the last thing I want to see is another 'Bottled Anger' incident. You with me so far?"

At this, Starlight sighed and dropped her head in (what Ben assumed to be) shame. "Ugh, you're right. Maybe I do need some other means of stress relief besides the kites."

Ben's expression softened a bit. Now we're cookin'. "A'right, I'm going to have a short chat with Twilight to get you off work early. Get yourself straightened up: your hair is a mess. Meet me outside the school doors at 6. If you're not there by then, you'll be answering to Twilight. Worse yet, I may recruit Pinkie Pie to do so. Capisce?"





5:58 PM that evening.....

Ben was waiting outside with his toe tapping on the front step impatiently. Man, she's cutting it close. Guess Pinkie is gonna have to nag Starlight for once. On the other hand, he recalled that they never agreed to a Pinkie Promise. This left him a bit uncertain about getting Starlight to go along with this. She probably called my bluff and just got back to work again. I really didn't think that through.

Then he heard a commotion on the other side of the entry. Although he did hear Starlight's voice, what caught him off-guard was the sound of Twilight in the midst of the scuffle. He held his ear against the door to get a better idea of what was happening.

"Starlight, if you don't get out there right now, I'll have a magic restraint placed on your horn for the rest of the semester," Twilight said (at least he assumed).

Then Starlight pleaded, "Twilight, I'm not even close to having everything sorted out in time for the EEA yet! Don't blackmail me like that!"

"Starlight, you've been driving yourself crazy with paperwork! As much as I tolerate his crass demeanor, he's right. You at least need something to take your mind off of it. Seriously, I can tell you barely registered how much time had passed since you asked him to do whatever it was that you needed for those kites." There was a pause, followed by "Don't give me that look, Starlight. Not even those kites will get that irritation out of your head. I know you're not thrilled about drinking, but at least give it another chance. As far as I can tell, Ben's not one to overindulge in the sauce. Now GO!"

Those last words hadn't left her mouth much sooner than Ben had pulled his ear away from the door, already anticipating what would happen next. Lo and behold, the door swung open without delay, and Starlight was rushed out the door in Twilight's aura. Once outside, she was released from Twilight's telekinesis, followed by a skid of roughly ten feet. Ben only caught Twilight's leer for a mere split second before the door was slammed shut again.

Ben spoke first. "So, you ready to go?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, all things considered," said Starlight.