//------------------------------// // Why the Rush? // Story: Arranged Disaster // by Peroth E //------------------------------// “Well, we should be nearly done.” Rarity sighed heavily, before using her magic to push her work glasses all the way back up her snout to eye the stitching in Twilight’s dress. “Oh, foo. That won’t do! That won’t do at all.” Rarity shook her head. Twilight yelped as the dress was all but ripped off her by Rarity and tied around a mannequin several feet away. “What’s wrong with it this time?” Twilight asked with a long sigh, relaxing her legs before they went permanently stiff. “Oh nothing on your part dearie, it’s all my fault.” Rarity made a beckoning gesture with her hoof, and six mares, young and old, ran up to greet her. “Girls, I fear a Trottingham stitch just isn’t cutting it.” She announced in resignation. “Why?” One of the young mares spoke up. “It looks fine to me.” “It clashes with the whole ensemble. It’s smooth, soft lines until you get to the stitch. Miss Rarity, how about a French stitch?” The oldest of the six suggested while several spools of thread hovered around her. “A French stitch might work but I was actually thinking of trying a Las Pegasus stitch for the back of the dress.” Rarity pulled out a drawing board, and started designing her idea. Up on the podium, Twilight lightly scuffed her hoof against the ground and looked up in boredom. She really should have brought a book. She couldn’t believe Rarity was changing her mind again. She knew time was short but she wished that the fashionista would pick a design and stick with it. Modification after modification, and not only was it looking more and more crazy with each redesign, but it was also looking incredibly heavy. “Twilight, we’re going out to find a better thread for your dress. Try to stay out of the light, the last thing we want is you bleaching your coat!” Rarity called quickly before racing out of the store with all of her new assistants in tow. “But it would take weeks of constant exposure to have any noticeable impa-” the door slammed shut, and Twilight let out a long, annoyed snort. It was bad enough that she was getting married today after being told just yesterday, now Rarity was driving both herself and Twilight crazy trying to make everything absolutely perfect. “It can’t possibly go perfect.” Twilight mumbled to herself, hopping off the podium and going to the windows. She stared down at the busy Canterlot street below, where dozens of ponies milled about and stared up at the giant banner inviting every pony in the city to come witness the unholy union of Twilight and whatever Prince Blueblood was selling himself as now. “You know, when I sent you to Ponyville to make friends, I always hoped that you would find love in the process and meet a nice colt or mare who you would want to spend the rest of your life with.” A loving voice, soft as a bell chime, sweet as a spring breeze whispered in her ear. Twilight turned her head quickly, and found herself looking into the adoring eyes of Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria and as of a few months ago, her aunt-in-law. “P-Princess Celestia!” Twilight gasped, and a gold-clad hoof stopped her from bowing. Embarrassed, Twilight kept her head low, but lifted her eyes to meet Celestia’s once more. “Honestly, Twilight.” Princess Celestia chuckled, and moved to sit by Twilight’s side and look down at the streets. “Today, tomorrow, they are your days, not mine. I don’t expect the blushing bride-to-be to bow to me.” Celestia gave her a loving smile, then began to mutter: “bride-to-be, bow to me, bride-to-be, bow to me. Hah.” She giggled. “So, you’ve heard?” Twilight sighed remorsefully, and then mentally chided herself. Of course the Princess heard, she would know about all the goings-on in her kingdom, and she most definitely would not miss all the notice boards and posters and banners hanging in every street. “I must admit, I was surprised when I first heard it. I went to speak with your brother on the matter and he had quite a few choice words to share with me about the wedding.” Celestia turned her head to face her student again. Even her sad smiles were as warm as the sun. “I wasn’t sure what to think. An arranged marriage between my dear student and my nephew? I never once considered that you would fall into the trap of nobility. It’s such a disgusting thing, parents choosing their children's future.” “It wasn’t necessarily their fault.” Twilight grouched, recalling her father’s conversation. She did make an effort to speak to him this morning on more gentle terms, he was still her father and was under the influence of wine, but she kept recalling the consequences of it. Her future was to be dictated by some blonde-haired sleaze. At least he tried to act nice around her. “Oh, I heard the story. I wasn’t happy with it and I did share a few words with your father, but in the end, there’s nothing I can do about it.” Celestia leaned her head down and, to Twilight’s surprised, nipped her ear affectionately. “If there is any good to come from this debacle, it will be that, at the very least, I’ll get to see you more.” Twilight blushed, her ears standing straight up, and she had to admit, she found the idea enticing. She hadn’t spent time with Celestia in a long while. Even the wedding was too busy until the very end, and by that time, Celestia was surrounded by others, leaving Twilight trying to squeeze in to share only a few short words with her. “Yeah.” Twilight nodded. “So.” Celestia spoke up. “I heard you had dinner with Blueblood last night. I know my nephew can be difficult, how did it go?” Celestia asked. Twilight recalled it. Delicious food, idle conversation, a short discussion of books, Blueblood’s admittance… “Strange.” Twilight mumbled. “Rarity told me what a jerk he was to her at the Gala, but during that dinner he acted very nice to me. Nothing particularly untoward comes to mind. In fact, he was an almost perfect gentlecolt. The only thing that really worries me is that, well, when I called him out on it he admitted he was only trying to get me to like him because he doesn’t want to be married to somepony who hates him.” “Mm, yes. I’ll admit, I’m a little curious as to why he’s taking it so easily.” “Oh not that easily. I noticed he was pretty uncomfortable the whole time, and he even seemed annoyed when he told me about why he was being so nice.” Twilight rubbed the cheek he had kissed last night. Part of it seemed so wrong and dirty, yet she knew he was being honest when he said he’d try and make the best of it. “Oh, I understand that, but I mean that is all he’s done. He has been prone to some very, how should I put this? ‘Over-blown’, yes. Over-blown reactions in the past over smaller things. Either he’s still in shock, or he’s accepted it.” Celestia seemed unsure, but smiled sweetly down to Twilight to hide it. “I am glad you’re being so adult about this whole situation, but I must say, I was expecting a little more of a reaction from you. Not that I’m disappointed, but it would be nice to have the Bluebloods see what they’re bringing into their family.” “Oh, well, you know…” Twilight blushed brightly, and chewed her lower lip. “I have my friends and family to keep me calm. I, uh, nearly destroyed my room yesterday after dad first told me how I ended up becoming a bride.” “A pity you managed to keep calm. It would be nice to see Duke Blueblood’s face slip, even just a little when he saw what you’re capable of.” Celestia’s teasing smile made Twilight blush again, and with an embarrassed rub to the back of her neck, Twilight returned it. “I’m sure they’ll find out eventually. I still have the rest of today to go mad.” The both of them chuckled a little, but Twilight still flopped down onto her rump as it all caught up with her. “Yup.” She whispered. “Just in time to get married.” She froze as a long, white leg wrapped around her, and Princess Celestia leaned down to cuddle. Twilight’s face turned completely red as she leaned in to snuggle back. “Even in the strangest of times, you’ll still have your friends, your family, and me. I never thought I’d have to tell you this, but just in case, you are always allowed to visit me. No matter where you choose to live, or who you choose to live your life with, I am always here for you.” Twilight’s eyes lowered to the floor, and she stared at her hooves. At any other time, the invitation would have sounded so happy, and Twilight’s life would have been fulfilled just to hear that, but right now, with Twilight’s life running so unexpected, it sounded more like a reprieve from a hectic future than a gift. Still… “Thank you Princess.” There were a few still moments, where Twilight enjoyed the warmth and closeness to her favorite pony in Equestria, but Celestia ended them by speaking up. “So, Twilight, I don’t mean to alarm you, but how familiar are you with nobility and arranged marriage?” Twilight turned her eyes up at the odd question, and shrugged her shoulders. “Not very. I’ve read a few fiction books that had the subject come up every now and then but they were pretty vague.” “Ah.” Celestia’s voice turned very tender, as if she was speaking to a child. “Well, Twilight, you’re a smart young mare so you deserve to know.” Twilight’s looked up at Celestia, and watched her work her jaw uncomfortably. Twilight was suddenly very afraid of what an arranged marriage entailed. “Nobles like to marry their most beautiful, talented, and smartest children to make the most of their offspring.” “Why would they make the most of their offspring by marrying them so slap-and-dash like that?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. Celestia looked down at her, and cleared her throat. “Err, well, I don’t mean the parents’ offspring, Twilight.” Twilight still stared at her, confused. “Oh my.” Celestia chuckled nervously. “You’re familiar with genetics, of course?” “Of course I am. I used to ask you questions about it all the time.” Twilight nodded. “Yes, I remember. Anyways, nobles like to strengthen their bloodline to ensure they have a stronger family in the future, usually by pairing up their strongest children in a hope that they will, well, create a stronger generation together.” Celestia explained, a little red-faced beneath her coat. “Oh.” Twilight thought it over a few moments. “Oh! I get it!” She smiled suddenly, and Celestia stared nervously. “You do?” That wasn’t the reaction she’d been expecting. “Of course! The parents put their brightest, most talented children together to keep their businesses strong and respect the honor of their families, as well as guide the non-nobles around them to a better future!” Twilight bobbed her head. Celestia stared down at her for a good while, working her jaw. Shoot. Luna was so much better at not getting embarrassed about this. “Y-yes, of course Twilight, that’s exactly it.” Celestia nodded. She would find a… better way to explain this. “The Bluebloods will be expecting you to lead those around you to a better future.” ‘And have lots and lots of super-powered babies.’ Celestia groaned at the thought. “Don’t worry Princess.” Twilight looked down at the street again, at the many citizens of Canterlot. “I promise I won’t let you down. Even… even if I don’t like this, I will fulfill my duties as a noble, and create a stronger next generation! Even if I have to dirty my own front hooves to do it!” Celestia hid a laugh with a tiny snort, and bobbed her head. “O-of course Twilight! You will be an excellent leader.” “And I will fulfill my duties no matter what. Even if it’s with Blueblood or any other pony.” Celestia did her very best to not grin. “I won’t take it lying down. I will be up on all four of my hooves fulfilling my duties, and not just in some fancy house! Blueblood and I shall strengthen the generation no matter where we are, in the castle, out on the streets, in the clouds- Princess?” Celestia had suddenly collapsed, shaking with laughter. ---------- “Is the dress almost ready?” Twilight glanced back at Rarity as three ponies worked on her rear-end, making the finishing touches on the back of her dress. It wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it would be. Looking in the mirror, it wasn’t as big and puffy as the weird, pink dress pushed onto her last night. This one lay nice and flat on her back, and flowed down her body rather than make her look bigger. “Just about, dear.” Rarity answered, tightening the sleeves of the dress. “Sew, what’s the time?” “Ten minutes ‘til nine. We got an hour.” The young mare in the back answered, rushing over with a hoof-made veil (as hoof-made as magic would allow) and draped it over Twilight’s head. Twilight winced, and blew a soft breath to get it out of her face, but it just came right back down. “One hour to meet-” Rarity tightened the dress around Twilight’s mid-section, making the unicorn squeak, “- an insufferably charmless fool. Ugh. Twilight, were you any other pony I’d have tossed you out by now.” “Thanks?” Twilight gasped out as the dress was tightened further, and she held her breath as Rarity eyed the stitching. “Breath out.” Twilight did, and she felt the dress stretch, then pop. “Shoot! Divine, more thread, two needles, and a pep talk!” Rarity called, the stress in her voice making Twilight sigh. She was such a hard worker… “You’re a fantastic artist miss Rarity!” The called unicorn spoke as she offered along with the thread and needle. “Your dress-making is brilliant and original! In a modern sense.” “Thank you.” Rarity whispered and corrected Twilight’s dress once more. “Everyponys so stressed.” Celestia chuckled from the corner, keeping out of the way as the fashion ponies ran about the room, gathering materials and triple-checking the designs. That was true, for sure. Twilight had her wedding, Rarity had to make the dress for the wedding, and to top it all off, the Princess was in the room. That was more than enough to make any common pony sweat. “I’m sure everything will go fine.” Twilight flicked her ears to make room for the veil, and squeaked again as the dress squeezed around her stomach. “Rarity! I still need to breathe!” She gagged, and the dress loosened. “Ah! My apologies, I’m just so worried.” She sighed, and Twilight took several deep breaths to make sure the dress would fit. “Better?” “Better.” Twilight nodded, but a hoof stopped her. “Lemme guess…” “Try not to move too much.” Sew ordered, making Twilight roll her eyes. She could see this being a problem in the future. ‘Oh dear…’ She hadn’t even considered that. How many dresses would she need in the future? There would probably be parties and social functions and ponies would expect her to look her best and… “Rarity, I know it’s kind of sudden, but can I rely on you to make my dresses in the future?” “Twilight, I’m flattered, and while I would love to put my talents to good use making you the belle of the ball wherever you go, now is not the time to discuss this! Where is that flower wreath!?” She called to the back of the room. “Almost finished!” A voice answered, and Rarity whimpered. “We need it now, dear! I can’t complete the head without the wreath!” It almost wasn’t worth it just for all the stress… ---------- “Don’t you dare nick my hooves.” Blueblood ordered tersely. His hygienist nodded his head briskly, and Blueblood lifted his left hoof. A file delicately ran along the edge of it, rubbing away the sharp edge and rounding it. “Will my suit need horseshoes, tonight?” “No sir. You will be wearing the charcoal suit.” His servant answered, narrowing his eyes as he eyed the hoof. “And the lady?” Blueblood was staring at himself in the mirror. Married. At his age? It was not unheard of two hundred years ago, but it was a modern time and he was a modern stallion. “White, pure as snow.” The colt answered, continuing to file. “Excellent. Have two roses saved, one for my suit, and one for her dress.” He ordered, eyes closing. Married… he didn’t feel ready to be married. He didn’t even know this mare, much less care for her. “Of course, sir.” It was quiet for several minutes as his hooves were filed to perfection, but just outside the door he heard the chime of a silver bell. “Answer the door.” Blueblood ordered, watching in the mirror as the servant did as he was told. He would miss his nightly visits to the mares he was familiar with. Nopony would dare tolerate him being with another mare, especially not his wife. Two colts walked into the bathroom, Amber Chalice, a reddish-brown colt with red hair, perfectly coiffed, wearing a tie and a small suit, and Beau Gentry, a much larger, bulkier colt with a light gray coat and jet black hair, kept short and clipped wearing bow-tie and a white tuxedo. “Blueblood, my good friend!” Amber walked closer, keeping far enough to not interrupt the hygienist. “We’ve come to congratulate you on your big day! Why didn’t you tell us that you were getting married sooner?” “It came as a surprise to me as well, actually.” Blueblood answered joylessly. His two oldest friends glanced to each other, and then back to him. “Well a surprise marriage certainly isn’t above you, old boy. I guess I just assumed your proposal would be just as brilliant and public as the invitation is, you always did like a show.” Beau pointed out with a smile. “With a newly made royalty, no less. Twilight Sparkle, eh? I always thought she was too prudish and homely. She’s kind of plain, isn’t she?” Amber followed up, watching Blueblood’s face in the reflection. “I saw her yesterday.” Beau turned to face Amber. “She’s really nothing all that amazing. Purple? Ugh, so last summer, and she didn’t even bother to dress up! How do you even know her, Blueblood?” Blueblood let out a low sigh. “I don’t know her.” The two colts stared at him for a moment, then each other, then him again. “My parents arranged for us to be married. I met her just last night.” “How awful! To be forced to wed such an unspeakably plain mare!” Amber grimaced. “I bet she’s daffy, too. You know what they say about noble mares who don’t keep up with themselves, crazier than a three-headed badger.” Beau nodded in agreement. “So what does she do as Princess Celestia’s student?” “Oh, she probably kissed her hooves enough to impress the Princess. Her magic is probably related to buttering a pony up.” Amber huffed. “Ugh, a pony with no drive. How awful.” “Amber, Beau, this is my fiancé you’re speaking of.” Blueblood sighed heavily. His servant had him lift his back left hoof and began to file it down. “Ah, of course Blueblood, very sorry. I guess we’re just wondering how you can possibly bare it! She’s just so… not you.” Beau watched him in the mirror, and Blueblood rolled his eyes. “No she isn’t.” Blueblood admitted. Were it his choice, he probably would have never spoken to the mare for the rest of his life, but here he was, about to marry her. At least it would bring some attention to him, a chance to be up in the spotlight, performing a grand, traditional marriage the Princess herself would head, with a mare that was at least powerful, and well-learned. Somewhat interesting too, he was still surprised she could quote from Philosophy. “She is still going to be my wife, like it or not. If all you two are going to do is complain about her, you can wait outside.” “Err, of course, Blueblood. We shall meet you there!” Amber turned for the door. “Again, congratulations, I guess!” Beau followed the red colt. Once outside the door, with Blueblood out of hearing range, he glanced to Amber. “You hear his voice? He’s not happy at all.” “Not to mention disappointed. Come, we shall go investigate this mare ourselves.” Amber flicked his tail and started for the door, Beau just behind him. ---------- “I can’t believe we’re actually going through with this.” Dash stared at the ceiling of the bakery they were loaned with a crinkled snout. “How can you girls just be over there baking when Twilight’s getting sold out?” She turned her head sharply to face the others. “Fluttershy, cookie dough, stat!” Pinkie called from across the bakery, and Fluttershy rushed to the supply cabinet to gather ingredients. “Dash, none of us are happy about this.” Applejack mumbled nearby, glaring at the cake batter she was mixing. “But there ain’t much we can do about it. Twi’s willin’ ta go through with it, and even if we don’t agree with it, we gotta respect her decision.” “But it’s the wrong decision! She’s letting herself get caged up with some blond jerk because of her parents! We need to make her see the truth and dump that jerk!” Dash rolled onto her stomach and glared at Applejack. The farm mare mixed faster, more violently. “Ya think I don’t wanna go buck some sense into the lot o’ them? Dun’ care if it’s some fancy noble rule, think a buncha smart ponies would realize how dumb it is. ‘Sides that, if Twi’s parents did call it off, they’d go broke tryin’a pay it all back.” “We could help them!” Dash insisted, standing up suddenly. Applejack stopped stirring to stare up at Dash. “Help them pay off twenty-eight million bits?” “Well yeah! Why not? It always works in movies! We just gotta go find a competition for a lot of bits! There’s got to be a flying competition happening somewhere!” “There is!” Pinkie shouted before Applejack could open her mouth. The pink mare popped up right between them, shoving a paper into Dash’s mouth. “There’s a flying competition right here in Canterlot!” “Wha- really!? Awesome! See Applejack?” Dash smiled smugly and took the paper to read it. “And just how much is the prize for this competition Rainbow Dash?” Applejack raised a golden eyebrow at the pegasus. “Five-hundred bits!” Dash announced proudly. Pinkie’s smile never left her face. Applejack facehooved. “Am I the only one seein’ a problem here? Fluttershy, you get what’s wrong with this, right?” Applejack glanced back to Fluttershy, who nodded meekly. “Oh there’s no problem AJ! Dash can do it!” Pinkie beamed as she took the paper. “She can keep doing these competitions and gathering the five-hundred bit prizes!” “Do y’all know how many competitions she’ll have to actually win to pay off all that money?” Applejack asked, leaning against the counter with an incredulous look. “Well-“ “Fifty-six thousand!” Pinkie answered immediately, bobbing her head. Dash glanced to her in surprise, and her face slowly fell. She tossed the competition flier away. “Well, whatever. We’ll find something else.” Dash lay back down and glared at the ceiling. Applejack shook her head and started filling up cake tins with the batter, and heard a snap. Dash had her hoof raised up high, and was sitting up. “I got it!” Dash announced with a mischievous look. “A clue?” Applejack rolled her eyes. “No, better! Twilight’s family has to pay off the Bluebloods if she’s the one who calls it off, right?” Dash grinned evilly. Applejack stared for a moment, but then realization dawned on her. “But if the Bluebloods call it off, Twi doesn’t have to pay ‘em a bit! Rainbow Dash, that’s perfect!” Applejack knocked her hoof against the counter top and grinned. “Yeah! Twi doesn’t have to marry a big dummy and she can still have the wedding cake! It’s perfect!” Pinkie bounced away gleefully, and Dash and Applejack nodded to each other. “Um…” The two mares glanced back, and saw Fluttershy nervously rubbing her hooves together. “That’s all good and all, but, how?” Dash and Applejack looked to each other again, and both slunk back. “… Good question.” Applejack mumbled. ---------- She had to squint as light poured down from above in the dark room. She stood still, and looked around slowly. She couldn’t see anything outside the light, just a dark room. She held her foreleg over her eyes as she looked back up. “I can’t see a thing!” “Sorry ma’am!” The light shut off, and Twilight sighed, and then had to squint again when the whole room lit up. She was in an auditorium, a big one at that. Over a thousand seats, from the floor to the balconies, filled the room. For now, it only had a few ponies in it, including herself. Technicians running the lights, Rarity and Celestia for the support, and Shining Armor and Cadence sat in the front row to watch. “Looking good, Twilight!” Cadence called, waving a front hoof. Twilight waved back with a small smile. She certainly didn’t feel good. She couldn’t believe the Bluebloods managed to rent out every single seat in the Canterlot castle’s theater. Her brother had gotten married in a room specifically designed for weddings in the castle, yet apparently that wasn’t enough. There would be so many eyes on her… The lights to the room dimmed again, leaving her in the dark, and the spotlight from above came on her again. This time, it wasn’t so blinding, and she could see much more clearly. “Better, ma’am?” The voice called from above. “Much! Thank you!” Twilight called up and paced in a circle in the light. “She looks marvelous up there.” Rarity sighed to Celestia. Even if the groom wasn’t agreeable, even if this whole thing was just as sudden as Shining Armor’s wedding, it was still such a treat to attend a wedding. A friend’s wedding at that! “You did so well on her dress.” Celestia smiled down at Rarity, and then glanced to Twilight as the unicorn waved. “Is the light too strong against my dress?” She called down to the attending ponies. “You’re just fine, Twily!” Shining Armor called back. “Alright!” She nodded and looked up to the ceiling. “Lights!” “Check!” The spotlight went off and the room was lit up once again. She stared at all the empty seats, and shivered. So many ponies… Shining Armor and Cadence hopped out of their seats to go join Twilight by the altar set up on the stage. The unicorns here moved quickly. The old marble stage had been buffed and tiny cracks had been filled in, and a staircase was added for the middle aisle for Twilight to walk up. The back of the theater had been painted various shades of purple, gold, white, and blue to symbolize the union of the two families, and gave it a look of a multicolored, rising dawn. “Ah, excellent, nearly everypony’s here.” A voice rang up from the entrance. Everypony turned to look as several ponies entered. Twilight’s eyes immediately went to the stallion in the center, recognizing Prince Blueblood immediately, so she assumed the stallion and mare to his sides were Duke and Duchess Blueblood. She could feel Shining Armor tense beside her, and a low rumble come from his throat, while Cadence lifted herself taller and turned to face the groom. “Early as well. I do so love a prompt pony.” Duke Blueblood spoke with a deep, resounding voice that let Twilight know that, under no uncertain terms he was the family patriarch. Twilight hesitated, but then willed herself to walk off the marble stage and down the steps to greet what would become a part of her family. “Prince Blueblood.” She managed a smile to her fiancé. “Twilight.” Blueblood walked right up to her, and the two awkwardly stood in front of the other. Blueblood glanced around briefly, then straight down at Twilight. “I like your dress.” “Oh, thank you. You’re looking very dashing yourself.” She admired his tuxedo for a moment. It was finely made, though the two roses did look kind of odd. “Ah, yes.” Blueblood followed her stare, and undid one of the roses in his lapel. Everypony watched as he floated the rose to her hair, lifted her veil, and tied it in just behind her ear. “Perfect.” “Oh, I wish I could see.” Twilight frowned a little and looked up, but looked back at Blueblood when his horn began to glow. An instant later, a square mirror hovered in front of her face. Twilight ducked her head to look, and a small flash of her horn adjusted the rose to sit perfectly behind her ear. “Thank you, it looks very nice.” “It truly does.” Blueblood nodded his head politely. Duke Blueblood cleared his throat nearby, and both of the ponies looked up to him. “Blueblood, I can’t help but notice your aunt is here. Do go say hello, I would like to speak with my daughter-in-law.” “Yes father.” Blueblood glanced down to Twilight briefly, and she could have sworn there was a look of helplessness in his eyes before he started walking towards Princess Celestia. “I believe I’ll go look for Twilight’s parents.” Rarity whispered hastily to the Princess, who nodded briefly in understanding and looked back up to her nephew. Rarity was out the door before Blueblood could stand before his aunt. Duke Blueblood looked back down to Twilight. He was an older colt, probably older than her father, and she could see he had a pure white coat where he wasn’t covered by his solid black suit. His mane was more of a manila color than a blonde, and it was kept short and straight, except the ends, which curled ever so slightly. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, I’ve been a fan of yours for quite a while now.” He said with a slight smile. “A fan?” Twilight asked in surprise. “A fan how?” “I’ve been following your world-saving exploits for two years now, ever since I learned of the six mares that defeated Nightmare Moon. Interesting business, I must say, but I was surprised to learn one of them was Princess Celestia’s personal student.” He pressed a dainty hoof to his chest and leaned his head down. “I take a great interest in powerful young ponies such as you. Seeing it put to such fantastic use is quite awe-inspiring. It will be a pleasure to have such a prestigious young mare as a part of our family.” He lifted his head high again and set his hoof down. Twilight was blushing hard at the stream of compliments, not sure how to respond. Duke Blueblood was one of the most wealthy, powerful ponies in Canterlot; anything he said was worth its weight in gold to listen to. To be complimented by him, especially so passionately was something else entirely. “What do you think, Duchess?” Duchess Blueblood was an attractive cream color, so soft she was nearly white, but a simple turn showed her gorgeous colorization in the bright light. Her long, blonde hair was beautifully layered, with a bun resting just above a cascade of golden mane. She wore a wine red dress that flared up dramatically in the back, almost like a peacock. The beautiful mare stared at Twilight with honey colored eyes, and a low noise came from her throat. “I don’t know, dear.” “Don’t know?” Duke raised an eyebrow, watching his wife scan Twilight over. Twilight held completely still for the mare to see. “She’s just so… purple…” She spoke slowly. Both Twilight and Duke watched her for a moment. “She could be a better color… like fuchsia… fuchsia’s nice.” “Fuchsia is nice, honey, but we can’t just go changing her coat.” Duke pointed out, but Duchess made that low hum again. “Then do we really want to go through with it?... She’s just so… purple…” Duchess slowly turned her head, like a curious dog, and stared at Twilight. Twilight stared back at Duchess, unsure of what to think or say. “I mean, what if the kids come out so… purple…” ‘Kids?’ Twilight jolted back, as if on the receiving end of an electrical shock. “Honey, with our son’s white coat and Twilight’s purple coat, the kids will probably be fuchsia. Why don’t you go have a seat, dear? Wait for the practice to start.” Duke offered, brushing against his wife affectionately. “Well… alright.” The mare started walking away daintily, tail waving gracefully behind her. “Just as long as they aren’t purple…” Duke watched his wife sit, then turned away from her and led Twilight along the front of the stage. “Don’t mind your mother-in-law, she’s dumber than a stack of bricks.” Twilight nearly stumbled over herself in surprise. “It’s so nice to finally have such a brilliant young suitor for my son. I’ve been at a loss for a while trying to figure out what to do with him.” Twilight frowned as they walked towards what would be the refreshments table. All that was on it right now were bottles of water sitting in tubs of ice. Duke Blueblood did not hesitate to uncap one and take a long draw from one. “What to do with him?” She asked when he finished swallowing. “He hardly does anything nowadays. He used to be going to private schools to learn about business but now that he’s graduated he doesn’t apply himself.” He contemplated his bottled water, than glanced down to Twilight. “He spends his nights cavorting around with a bunch of vapid young mares who learn to speak by repeating whatever anypony important says, and spends his days in the presence of a team of yes-ponies who do nothing more than kiss the sacred ground his hooves tread upon. He doesn’t have an intelligent young mare on his level that can tell him these things are wrong and that he needs to get himself a damn job. I am hoping that you, Twilight, can get his head out of the clouds. After all, I don’t think he’s ever even spoken to such a pretty young mare smarter than he is.” He took another long drink and sighed. Twilight imagined him doing that with a flask of alcohol, and found it fit very well. “I’m flattered, sir.” She blushed. She truly was. She had never met Duke Blueblood and hadn’t known what to expect. She could see where Prince Blueblood got his looks though. Judging by Duke, he would be a very handsome stallion in his longer years. “But I’m a little concerned. I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I’ve never… I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I don’t really know how I’d convince him of anything.” “If I knew the answer myself, I wouldn’t be so intent on getting you two married. Of course, the other benefits of joining our families are tempting as well.” He smiled kindly down at the unicorn, and Twilight blushed, not really understanding what he meant, but nodding. “I do look forward to what your joining will bring. I imagine it will be quite the treasure trove for both of our families.” He turned his head towards the door, ears perked. “Ah, there are your parents. Time to begin the ceremony, then! Go ahead and get into place, I’ll be speaking with your father.” Twilight turned her head to watch him trot over to the entrance, where her parents were in-fact standing with Rarity. They were being greeted by Princess Celestia and Prince Blueblood, though Rarity quickly took off to sit by Shining Armor and Cadence, and Duke Blueblood came to start shaking hooves. Twilight went up to the altar and stood quietly, smiling a bit awkwardly down at her brother, sister, and friend. The ponies at the entrance split off, with Duke Blueblood and Twilight’s parents coming to sit in the front with Duchess, Celestia heading straight up to stand at the altar, and Blueblood came and stood next to Twilight. Twilight turned to face Celestia, sharing a smile with her, but glanced to Blueblood as she saw him fidgeting. He was watching his aunt with a stony expression, but was shifting ever so slightly. “Nervous?” Twilight whispered, feeling her hooves get cold. Blueblood glanced to her with just his eyes, and then nodded. “Very.” “Me too.” Twilight whispered, looking forward, back at Celestia. Blueblood stared down at his hooves for a moment, and looked around. The wedding coordinator was taking his time getting down from the lights. He glanced to Twilight and winced. He really was marrying this mare. ‘Worst thing that could happen to me is have her hate me.’ He reminded himself, and sucked in a deep breath. “It’s so different being the one up here. I don’t know how most couples make it look so easy.” “I know what you mean.” Twilight smiled nervously. “This is all so new to me. My brother’s was really fancy but this is ridiculous.” “But it is very nice.” Blueblood glanced around. So brilliant and showy. It would no doubt be talked about for years. The Blueblood and Sparkle wedding, something everypony would have to owe up to somehow. It was impressive enough already and they didn’t even have the orchestra, the flower spells, or the expensive food and wine out yet. He was looking forward to seeing where the rest of that twenty-eight million went to. “Yeah.” Twilight stood still and watched the wedding coordinator rush from the ladder leading upwards to the stage. “Sorry about that, had to uncross a few wires up there. Alright, everypony here?” He glanced around. “Bride, Groom, Princess, family, excellent. So here’s how this’ll work. I’ll talk it out, and then we’ll try practicing a few times. It’s not hard at all just keep your speeches in mind. So, first thing’s first.” He looked to Blueblood, and opened a big folder full of pages. “Prince Blueblood, your job is already done. You just need to stand right where you are. Your best man will be right behind you for when the rings come.” He then glanced to Princess Celestia. “Princess, I trust you can speak without the assistance of a microphone?” Celestia smiled almost smugly, and her horn glowed gold. Then, she spoke, “MARES AND GENTLECOLTS, I TRUST YOU CAN HEAR ME?” her voice echoed through the hall, and Twilight and Blueblood both shook their head as a ringing filled their ears. “Oh, maybe a little too much.” “We’ll work on that in a moment. Twilight, you get the hard part as the bride. Your job will be to enter the room by your father’s side and look pretty and graceful all the way up to the altar. Here, you’ll stand across from your betrothed, and the ceremony will begin. Everypony’s cue to quiet down will be when the lights dim, and then turn off. At that moment, the first chords of the orchestra will be played, and the door will be opened for you, Twilight. You will be in a spotlight the whole time you come up to the front, among a few other things that I’ll talk you through as we’re walking up. The orchestra will take a minute to finish their song, and then Celestia will begin speaking. Let’s practice the opening ceremony. Everypony ready?” Twilight and Blueblood nodded as Princess Celestia cleared her throat to prepare herself. “Very well then.” The organizer nodded to Night Light. “Twilight, you and your father will go stand behind the door. I’ll knock to let you know when to come in, we’ll practice walking dainty, and then Celestia can speak her part. Alright, let’s go.” Twilight nodded to him, and followed the organizer down the steps towards the doors, her father getting up and joining her as she passed by. “We’ll be alright.” He whispered reassuringly. Twilight only nodded. She could do this. She faced down the Princess of Endless Night, the very essence of Discord itself, and an army of shapeshifters before. This should be easy as pie. They stopped outside the door, and the organizer nodded at them both. “Alright, wait until I knock. Ready?” She and her father nodded, and he shut the door. “One, two, three…” ---------- A healthy kick broke the lock and opened the doors wide, and Applejack strode in, followed closely by Dash, Pinkie, and Fluttershy. “Oh, sorry…” Fluttershy whispered, trying to shut the doors and adjust the lock. The handle fell out. “Eep!” Fluttershy ran after the rest of their friends. “- we’ve come to bear witness to the union of two great ponies today, both of whom are very close to me.” “Man, I can’t believe we had to bust in here just to see the practice. Shouldn’t we be down there? Aren’t we flower girls or something?” Dash griped as they walked to the banister of the second-story balcony and looked down. Twilight was standing at the altar with Blueblood by her side, while the tiny audience down below listened to Celestia speak respectfully. “- that life is a journey, and watching these two grow into the ponies they are today has been a personal honor. But enough about my experiences, today-” “Bridesmaids Dash. We’re Bridesmaids.” Applejack corrected. It was so dark. Other than the spotlights on the stage, they couldn’t see a thing around them. At least it gave them a good view of what was happening down below. “Same thing! When do we bust Twilight out of here?” “We don’t. We’re gonna wait and see what she thinks before we embarrass the heck outta her.” Applejack sighed, and Dash grumbled and leaned down to rest her chin on the banister. “She looks very nice in her dress.” Fluttershy spoke up. Applejack and Dash could both agree with that. Applejack reached a hoof over and pressed Pinkie down to keep her from hopping. Celestia’s speech went on for a little longer, and when she stopped she looked to a pony the girls didn’t recognize. They could just barely hear it as the wedding organizer down below spoke up. “Alright, now this is the part where you two exchange vows. I know this is a little sudden, so we’re getting a few written up for you both with the help of your families. Those will be ready by the real wedding and you’ll just have to read them off. The ring-bearer will come out, you will exchange rings, and then-” he turned his head to Celestia, who lifted her chin triumphantly. “You may now kiss the bride!” “And tada, you two are married. The reception will be out in the castle grounds, everybody eats, dances, goes home, then you two are free to live out your lives together. Let’s have a few more practice sessions to make sure we have all the cues down. Lights!” The spotlight went off, the theater lights went on. Applejack blinked her eyes rapidly to get the spots out of her vision, and watched as Twilight was lead down the aisle by her father. “Ta think she has to kiss that big lug.” Applejack rubbed her forehead. “She doesn’t have to if we bust her out.” Dash reminded her, but Applejack rolled her eyes. The last thing they needed was to break Twilight out of here, only to find out she was going to go through with it and drag them all back. “Uh oh!” Pinkie exclaimed. Applejack glanced to the mare, and followed her stare. There was a pair of well-dressed colts on one side of the balcony, both looking through binoculars down at the scene below. “Twilight’s not even married yet and the paparazzi are already trying to ruin her life! C’mon girls, we need to save the wedding!” Applejack lunged, and snagged Pinkie by the tail before she could skip over. “Slow down there!” Applejack mouthed around the tail. “Maybe they’re Blueblood’s friends?” Fluttershy offered. “What kind of stupid ponies would break into their friend’s practice wedding?” Dash grunted, and then froze up as the rest of the girls stared back at her. “Uh, besides us!” “Well, we won’t know by just standin’ around. C’mon, let’s go ask ‘em.” Applejack led the way over. The two colts were too engrossed looking through their binoculars to hear the girls coming. “Can you believe what she’s wearing?” The amber-colored of the two asked. “I know.” The dark gray one asked. “I wasn’t expecting her to look so go-” “Atrocious!” The girls froze in mid-step as the colt announced this. “Um, yeah. Gawful. What I was going to say.” “Gawful isn’t a word, Beau.” The amber one grunted. The lights flickered off again, leaving everypony in the dark as the spotlight shown down on Twilight. “I’m trying to make it a word! Like ‘god-awful’, but one word…” Beau tried to defend, but the amber colt shook his head. “It won’t catch on.” They watched her stride towards the altar. “Ugh, she walks like there’s a dumbbell attached to her left hip. Hasn’t anypony taught her anything about class?” “She looks new to it.” “She looks gawful! Awful! Ugh, the things you do to me Beau.” “See? It’s catchy…” “Beside the point! Just because she’s new doesn’t mean she has to look and act like an over-tarted hussy!” Amber snapped, and the four girls, as one, gasped. “What did you call her!?” Dash shouted, just barely heard over Celestia’s voice. The two colts nearly jumped over the edge in fright, and glanced to the four mares staring them down. Dash zipped over, shoving the gray one back to press her snout against Amber’s. “Go on! Call her that again to my face you sleaze!” “A sl- did you just call me a sleaze!?” Amber reared back, eyes wide. “Why- I have never been so insulted! A sleaze? Who are you to call me a sleaze!?” He nearly shouted back, taking a few steps away. Dash took a step forward after him, but started moving backwards as Beau got up, horn glowing. “Amber, you’re not supposed to interact with the rabble. Their vulgar attitude rubs off on you.” He growled in warning while Dash tried to pull away from the magic pulling her back. “I’ll rub whatever the hell I feel like all over you two if you insult my friend!” Dash snarled right back, and was lifted into the air by Beau’s magic. Her wings flapped to try and free herself. “Oh, perfect, her friends.” Amber grumbled, glaring back down at the altar. “Beau, get them out of here. We need to fulfill our duty to our own friend and save him from a stupid marriage!” “With pleasure.” Beau smirked a little, and started shaking Dash, making her squeal and yelp. “Hey!” One of the mares shouted. Beau glanced towards the voice, but in the darkness he didn’t see the two hind legs connecting with his jaw until it was too late, launching him back behind Amber. Amber shook his head in disbelief and lit his horn, just to come face to face with Fluttershy’s glare. “You can’t treat ponies like that! It’s not nice!” “Uh, Beau? Problem?” Amber gulped as the other three mares approached him. Both of their horns flashed, and a protective pink wall appeared between them and the four mares. “They’re just a bunch of commoners, Amber, we’ll get them tossed out.” Beau nodded. “I dun’ think I want my friend marryin’ some foal with friends like y’all!” Applejack shouted, kicking the barrier. “Ugh, hot-headed commoners… well our friend deserves a mare with class and beauty, unlike the little street-urchin they pulled out of the gutter down there!” Amber shouted back. “Oh that is it!” Beau and Amber looked up, just in time to see Pinkie Pie fall from the ceiling onto the two of them, breaking the spell. “No peeping paparazzi ponies will ruin my friend’s wedding!” “We are not the papa- oh dear.” “BANZAI!” Dash slammed into the pile of ponies, Applejack leaping in right after, and Fluttershy right behind her. ---------- “What is that?” Twilight glanced up to the second balcony, unable to see through the darkness as they heard the commotion from up above. Celestia and Blueblood stared along with her, silent. Shining Armor was out of his seat to try and get a better look, while Cadence flapped her wings to get up closer. Blueblood narrowed his eyes, squinting as he saw a few familiar flashes of magic. A very familiar bright red flash, then a very familiar dark green flash… “That,” he declared, “is nothing important. Anyways, I believe we were making up vows. Ah yes, I vow… to give you ice cream every night.” “Neat!” Twilight beamed. ---------- The auditorium was dead silent as the six new-comers sat still and quiet before the Blueblood patriarch. "So." Duke Blueblood nursed his forehead with a hoof. "Do I want to know why you six decided to start a fight at my son's practice wedding?" He fixed a stern glare on the two colts and four mares cringing before him. Princess Cadence paced idly behind them, unable to contain her grin as her husband explored the second story balcony and the third story balcony for more intruders. Twilight Twinkle, Night Light, Duchess Blueblood, Rarity and Princess Celestia stood behind Duke Blueblood to watch, while Twilight Sparkle and Prince Blueblood stood up at the altar. "The paparazzi were trying to ruin the wedding by getting embarrassing, early pictures of the practice!" The little pink one wiggled her forelegs in the air, then glared at the two colts, all while staying remarkably well-balanced on only her hind legs. Duke slowly turned his head to face the two whimpering colts. "Amber, Beau, have you actually joined the paparazzi?" He asked dryly. Both of them shook their heads. Duke glanced back to Pinkie Pie. "Young lady, they are not part of the paparazzi. Now why are you four here?" "We jus' came ta watch the practice, but everythin' was locked down so we kinda made our own way in." Applejack admitted, her ever present Stetson slid down over her neck as she guiltily watched the ground. "Sorry..." Fluttershy squeaked, eyes covered with her hooves. "While I can appreciate your enthusiasm for the wedding, I do not appreciate an invasion of my family's privacy. You not only interrupted a crucial moment in the ceremony but you also broke a door on your way here. A castle door, may I remind you." He glared at the six of them. "Sorry!" Fluttershy squeaked louder, and hid underneath her forelegs. "But we had to save Twilight!" Dash insisted. "Ow!" She rubbed her side from where Applejack kicked her. "Save her? Young lady, do you know who I am?" Duke demanded, getting silent looks from all of the mares, except... "Ooh! Ooh!" Pinkie Pie began to bounce in place. "Hokey Smokes!" Duke Blueblood stared at the bouncing pink mare. "No, I am-" "Toola-Roola!" Pinkie bounced forward, hopping in front of the surprised stallion. "No, wait, Derpy Hooves? Firefly! Does it begin with an 's'? What about a 'z'!?" "What!? No! Go sit down!" Pinkie Pie dropped her flank to the floor and looked up at him expectantly, irrepressibly happy. "I am Duke Blueblood, father of Prince Blueblood, owner of the Blueblood Legacy, and the primary funder of this entire wedding and everything that follows in its wake!" "That's silly. You don't have a wake after a wedding, you have a wake before a funeral!" "I- wha- what!?" Duke Blueblood glared down at Pinkie. "Congratulations on your son getting married!" Pinkie Pie stuck out a hoof to shake. Duke Blueblood's eyebrow raised, his jaw dropped, and he, for the first time in several years, was at a loss for words. He calmly took the mare's hoof and shook weakly. "Thanks?" "No problem!" Pinkie Pie bounced back into place and beamed. Duke stared at her for a few seconds, and then moved to stand in front of Amber and Beau. "So, what precisely are you two doing here with binoculars?" He asked, levitating the two devices in front of them, making them gulp. "Well, sir, you see, we were scouting for your son." Amber spoke up, tossing a glare over at the four mares. "Scouting for my son?" Duke repeated, eyebrow raised. Celestia, Twilight's family, and all of Twilight's friends stared at the two. Amber cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Beau answered. "Scouting the quality of his bride." The dark-gray colt answered with a controlled, methodical voice, refusing to look elsewhere. "Scouting the quality-" Duke shook his head, "Scouting the quality of the bride? Boys, I understand your concern for your friend but none of this is your business." "We mean no offense, Sir Blueblood, but he is our friend, so it is of some concern. We merely wish to keep an eye out for his happiness and we find his current bride to be... lacking." Amber said as lightly as he possibly could. His eyes swiveled from the four mares that had soundly trounced him, to the rest of her family as their expressions changed for the worse. "Lacking." Duke repeated with some disbelief, a low sigh escaping him. "On a tertiary glance I can see why you'd assume so. My reasons for choosing her are sound, and I would prefer that you boys do not question my decisions." "Or insult our friend!" Dash sniped with a low growl. Beau and Amber both drew themselves up huffily, glared at Dash, and then nodded to Duke Blueblood. "Of course sir. We will show ourselves out." Amber nodded. Duke Blueblood nodded back, and swiveled on his hooves to face his family and the Princess. Beau and Amber walked out through the ground door, though the moment they were out of earshot, Beau leaned over to Amber. "We're not finished, are we?" "Not even close." Amber shook his head. Back in the auditorium, Duke Blueblood shook his head and muttered to himself as he seated himself. "Well then, that's enough of that. Those of you who have just joined us, keep your mouths shut. Let's get on with the show." He glanced to the altar. Everypony else stared. Rarity spoke up first. "Where's Twilight?" ---------- The kitchen quarters were nice and quiet at this time of day. It was just after lunch, and the only ponies there were the dish-washers in the back, cleaning. Blueblood was sitting at a table, eyes hidden behind his hoof as he rested his forehead on his leg. How could this have happened? His two best friends sneak around to spy on his soon-to-be-wife, and outright telling his father they thought his choice was wrong? Could they have been any more embarrassing? He let out a low sigh and lifted his head from his hoof. Twilight was humming around the kitchen, a fountain glass floating in front of her as she stirred chocolate syrup into the shake. A small spray of whipped cream and a cherry topped it off, a straw was stuck in, and she slid into the seat across from him. If there was any good to come of it, it was that everypony was so focused on them, it let him slip away to avoid strangling the both of them. Twilight following him was just coincidence. He looked up when the glass slid over to him. Twilight smiled at him kindly. He stared at the shake, then to Twilight. "This is your idea to get away from it all?" He asked dryly, staring the shake down. "A chocolate shake in the servant's kitchen?" "Why not? It always makes me feel better." Twilight's wide smile shrunk a little as Blueblood eyed the treat. "It's low-class common-pony drivel! I have tasted French chocolates perfected by artisans who closely guard their secret recipes in gold-lined vaults, passed down to their children who are subsequently trained from the day they can walk to make the chocolate! A chocolate shake made from market ingredients is worth dirt to me!" He hid his eyes behind his hoof again. Twilight was silent. After a few moments of listening to dishes clinking together in the back, Blueblood lifted his hoof. Twilight was still staring at him, but she didn't look happy. "What?" "Nothing." Twilight looked away from him to stare out at the kitchen. She set her chin on her hoof and stared around a little. Blueblood stared down at the shake with a small sneer, then back up to Twilight. He let out a low sigh. "It's just... not to my tastes. I've been tempered by master cuisine. Not to mention a chocolate shake is not going to make me feel any less embarrassed." "I understand." Twilight said quietly. She wasn't staring at anything in particular, he could tell. 'She loathes me.' He thought to himself in a brief panic. He calmed himself down, and took a deep breath. 'She's just being childish.' He nodded. He didn't even want to be here, he didn't even want to be married to this lower-class waif. She had no money, no class, no reason to even be in the same room as him. He could have been at home playing pool with Amber and Beau rather than crash his practice wedding to tell his father they thought Twilight was lacking. She certainly was... she was accommodating and intelligent for sure, but other than that, she had few endearing qualities. What did their family gain from this? They spent twenty-eight million bits to marry him to some hopeful little-... He squinted as he eyed her face. That was not a hopeful look. That was the look of a mare that was having a bad day. Most mares would be hopping around his hooves in joy when they found out they'd be marrying him, forced or not, but she was down-trodden. 'She doesn't want to marry me.' He thought to himself. 'Neither of us wants this.' Two ponies, stuck together, forced into courtship by their parents. There was justice for you. He couldn't even feel angry at her anymore because she already looked so disappointed. It certainly wasn't his fault. He was used to high-class tastes, if they were going to make this work, she would just have to get used to that... 'The essence of companionship is understanding and compromise. Two unstoppable forces crashing together only creates friction, but when they bend and bow to let the other pass, there is not a problem to be found.' He squeezed his eyes shut, and silently cursed Camaraderie and her penmanship. Twilight blinked when she was snapped out of her thoughts by a sucking noise, and turned her head to see Blueblood sipping at the straw in the shake. He lifted his head after a second and rolled his tongue around his teeth. Twilight looked confused now. "You didn't have to try it." "I know." Was all Blueblood said, considering the taste for a few moments. "Twilight, we still have several hours before the wedding." Twilight nodded slowly at him, and he moved the shake to the side to not block his view. "I'd like to continue our practice, but in private." "Why?" She looked even more confused, and he rolled his eyes. "I want to show you how a noble lady should move, so you don't embarrass the both of us in front of all of Canterlot." He stood up, and pushed the chair back in under the table. "Embarrass us? How will me moving, like, well, me embarrass us?" She asked with an uncertain look as he walked around the table and helped her out of her chair. "I know the organizer said to sway a little, but to be frank, you walk like you have a dumbbell attached to your left hip. I have observed many a mare in my life and can tell you what a graceful pony looks like in motion, so let's secure a guest room to practice." He nodded to her, ushering her towards the door. He stopped just before he stepped through, and glanced back at the table. The shake hovered over to him, and he followed Twilight upstairs while sipping from the straw. ---------- "Goodness gracious, would you look at all of these ponies?" Rarity whispered. Applejack could barely hear her over the voices filling the auditorium. She felt so strange, standing up in front of all of these ponies. There were thousands of them... The floor seats were obviously where a majority of the ponies sat, a number totaling in who-knew-how-many. She lost count of the rows when there weren't ponies sitting in them, now all she could see were eyes. So many eyes. Not looking at her but just there. How had it been so easy the first time? Oh right. Shining Armor and Cadence's marriage had been a happy one. Still, each and every one of them, she knew was probably getting as aggravated as she was. They were late. They were over half an hour late, and ponies were getting edgy. They'd even pushed the bridesmaids and groomsmen out early to keep things moving along. She was worried the crowd was either going to start walking out or storming the stage if this went on any longer. Applejack took in a deep breath, and let it out as she glanced to the crowd. If only she could just walk on out of here, get away from all these ponies and roll in a field somewhere... She could only imagine how Fluttershy felt right at the front of the line, much less how Twilight would feel actually being in the spotlight when this whole shindig went down. Speaking of Twilight... "Any sign of her?" Dash whispered behind her. Applejack turned to see Spike racing up to the girls, wearing his tiny tuxedo and bow-tie, and panting and shaking his head. "No! She's not at any of her usual places, she's not back home, the air docks haven't seen her, the gate guards haven't seen her, not even the castle guards know where she is!" He said between deep breaths. "And Blueblood?" Rarity asked, her worry more sarcastic than anything, but he had disappeared with Twilight. Wherever he went, he probably knew where Twilight had gone as well. "Up in smoke for all I know!" Spike raised his claws up in a shrug. "There ain't been any luck from the Duke either, it looks like." Applejack muttered, watching the doorway as Duke Blueblood stormed down the aisle. The five girls and the small dragon watched him come to the front row, and whisper heatedly with Twilight Twinkle. The latter frowned in increasing worry, and Shining Armor and Cadence joined in on the whispering almost immediately. Duchess Blueblood sat on the opposite side of Cadence, staring up at the stage with a dull, bored look, a fan magically flapping itself to cool her off. Applejack looked towards the altar. Princess Celestia stood calmly, an unreadable expression on her flawless face, hooves clasped over the altar as she seemed to meditate. Across from her, the wedding organizer was definitely panicking. He was checking the orchestra standing behind the ring-bearer, a tiny, cream-colored unicorn with blonde hair in a black suit, going over their sheet music erratically, almost falling over himself trying to keep himself busy. She couldn't blame him. A twenty-eight million wedding couldn't happen without the bride and the groom. Oof, just thinking about having to refund that made Applejack's wallet hurt. "C'mon Twi, where the hay are you?" Dash whispered behind Applejack. The noise started to die down, and the five mares immediately looked towards the aisle. Every pony in the audience clammed up as Prince Blueblood proudly strode his way towards the platform. He climbed the stairs with masculine grace without even glancing at his father and mother. He stood in front of the tiny ring-bearer, and continued to smile, pleased with himself. Duke Blueblood looked unhappily confused by his son's sudden appearance, while Duchess Blueblood stayed mesmerized by the wall behind the stage. "Hey!" Dash barked suddenly. Blueblood opened his eyes to stare at the mare. "Where's Twilight!?" The entire room was completely quiet now, and he blinked incredulously at the mare. "She's the bride." He whispered harshly at her. "Where else would she be?" His eyes shot to the now shut doors. Dash didn't seem pleased by the answer but stayed quiet. Applejack wasn't sure what the blonde foal meant, but she hoped that he at least knew where she was. She calmed herself down and watched Spike run down the stairs to wiggle into the open seat by the aisle. Night Light would go between him and Twilight Twinkle. The wedding organizer was nearly hopping in delight, and quickly ran offstage to the back. Celestia unclasped her hooves and opened her eyes, took in a short breath, then glanced to Blueblood. Blueblood nodded to her and stood still, posing with a dashing smile as cameras clicked in the audience, capturing him in his moment. 'Prima donna.' Applejack shook her head. The auditorium dimmed suddenly, making Applejack glance up. Row by row, the lights were going off, bringing darkness to the stage. The last row of lights went off, the only light source being over the orchestra on-stage. Applejack put on a smile, and the orchestra started on a low note. It built slowly, rising in volume and force, until the whole auditorium felt like they were surrounded by the entire orchestra at once, and they stopped just as suddenly as they started. Another light broke through the darkness from the entrance, and a spotlight turned on from the ceiling. Twilight Sparkle in full dress, veil over her face and father by her side, stood at the doorway. No flower fillies came out to throw flower petals all over the middle aisle, and Applejack briefly wondered if, after all this money was thrown around, they'd forgotten something until Twilight took her first step. Roses and short grass blossomed around her hoof, and the entire orchestra started up with an enhanced rendition of 'Here Comes the Bride', a powerful song that vibrated Applejack's teeth as she watched Twilight march up the aisle, snow-white roses blooming in her wake with each hoofstep. The entire crowd was respectfully silent as they watched her, and Applejack couldn't help but notice a little sway in her friend's rear. A subtle, almost mesmerizing move that she'd only seen Rarity try to pull off. "She's looking marvelous." Rarity hissed softly in front of her, and Applejack could only smirk in agreement. She didn't see the two colts anywhere in the auditorium, but she could imagine their jaws on the floor as they watched her move. Twilight climbed the stairs to the stage with her father, but she stopped briefly to nick one of the white roses out of the floor. She came up onto the stage, the spotlight now revealing the altar, Celestia, and Blueblood as well, then two more stage-lights went on to reveal the bridesmaids and the ring-bearer to the sides. "Night Light, will you give your daughter to Prince Blueblood?" Celestia asked, her voice unenhanced. Night Light bowed to the three of them, and slowly backed his way off stage into his seat. Twilight let the rose in her mouth go as Blueblood's magic took it, and it levitated above her head and carefully knotted itself around the wreath she wore, sticking out just behind her ear nicely. "Oh, good show." Duchess Blueblood whispered from her seat, and the audience applauded the maneuver politely as Blueblood smiled even more proudly. Applejack couldn't see Twilight's face, but she bet she was redder than a tomato. Celestia's horn flashed almost without notice in the bright light, and the orchestra died down. Then, the Princess of Equestria spoke. "Fillies and Gentlecolts, friends and family, those of you have come to see the joining of these two ponies before us today, I welcome you." Celestia turned her head slowly to observe the crowd, and then focused a proud smile on Twilight. "Time and time again, I have headed weddings much like this. I have witnessed thousands of ponies vow to each other eternal commitment and love, some who I knew personally, some who I did not." She paused, and slowly turned her head from Twilight to Blueblood. "But it is a rare honor that I wed a pony I have helped raise from a small child, and today, it is a first that I wed two ponies who I have helped raise from their early days." At the front of the altar, Twilight felt a little surprised as she watched the Princesses' loving smile. She never knew just how good her mentor was at acting. She knew just as well as both families did that this was all an inconveniently, impersonally arranged marriage that neither the bride nor the groom appreciated, yet as far as the crowd knew, the bride and the groom truly were in love. "I don't know a better way to express my gratitude to the bride, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and the groom, Prince Blueblood, for giving me the chance to bring them together than to do just that. Both born with great magic, strength, nobility, and intelligence, together, as one, I know they will go out to the world and change it for the better, for the wiser." Another applause and Twilight looked from Celestia to Blueblood. So far, so good. Nothing awful had happened yet. She could still feel her tongue. She'd be able to speak up. With Celestia's help, she wouldn't even have to yell. Blueblood looked back at her, still wearing the proud, audience-drawing grin, and the two gave each other a hardly noticed nod. "Prince Blueblood, would you care to read your vows?" Princess Celestia asked the colt, another flash of magic going by without notice to enhance his voice and to present him with a rolled up scroll of his vows. The vows his family wrote for him. At least this would be easy. Prince Blueblood cleared his throat, and opened the scroll to read it. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, it is my hope that, together, we do great things for the future far and wide across Equestria. As your husband, I vow to bring you happiness, peace of mind, wealth, and the knowledge that I will stand by your side for the rest of our lives. I have lived long and learned much, but it is only today I feel my life is truly beginning." The audience all but melted as he finished off with a flourish, rolling the scroll up gently and levitating it back over to Celestia. There were small cheers and 'aaw's from the crowd, though Twilight, all of her friends, her family, Blueblood's friends and family all knew it was Duke Blueblood's words, not Prince Blueblood's. Twilight suspected the odd sound behind her was Rarity doing her absolute best to not snort with laughter. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, would you care to read yours?" Celestia presented her with her with the vows her family had written for her, and Twilight accepted them graciously. Celestia's horn flashed again, and Twilight felt a slight tickle in her throat as she looked to Prince Blueblood and unrolled the scroll. "Prince Blueblood," she glanced to the scroll and stopped. 'Prince Blueblood, go suck a baboon's tit.' She stared at it for a few uncomprehending moments, silence dominating the auditorium as she read it again and again. Oh dear. She rolled up the scroll and tossed it behind her, and took in a deep breath. Okay. Hard way it was then. "Prince Blueblood, though I feel I don't know you that well, I feel... I feel a great potential deep within you. You have the capacity to be a magnificent colt, and ever since we first met, I feel touched that you've shown this amazing side of you to me again and again. I can't wait to see what all there is of you, though I also hope that you save a few mysteries for me for our old age." Twilight chewed her lower lip as she watched his face. He looked surprised, his jaw hanging as he stared at her, and she blushed harder beneath her veil. The applause started slowly at first, the crowd unsure of her vows at first, but as more ponies joined in, they grew louder and louder, until there were a few cheers mixed in. Twilight let out a low breath. Blueblood leaned in. "'Caesar's Trials of the Love God'!?" He whispered in amusement. "Best wedding I've ever read." Twilight whispered back with a shrug of her shoulders. Blueblood let out a soft laugh and stood back straight as the tiny colt behind him walked forward. Twilight watched the young colt - immediately seeing the familial similarities - carry a cushion bearing two golden rings on it, both studded with small, round diamonds with smaller precious gems between each open space. Blueblood lifted both rings in the air between them, and Twilight bowed her head. She watched the ring slide down the length of her horn and settle at the base, and despite the stress of the day, did feel a little tingling warmth from just wearing it. Blueblood slid his ring down his horn, and the ring-bearer trotted down the stairs to take a seat by Duchess. Celestia spread her magnificent wings when the two ponies properly had their rings on, and drew herself up. "Do you, Prince Blueblood, take Princess Twilight Sparkle to be your lawfully wedded wife?" "I do." Blueblood answered without hesitation. Twilight gulped as Princess Celestia looked to her. "And do you, Princess Twilight Sparkle take Prince Blueblood to be your lawfully wedded husband?" There it was, the ultimatum. A yes or no question that could change her life. She could say yes, conform to the family and the city, and have the most uncomfortable, unexpected wedding of the century, or say no, and get run out of town and ridiculed, then put her parents in debt. Even if she preferred her peaceful life in the Ponyville library, oblivious to love, nobility, and politics, she knew the answer before she'd even first seen the auditorium. "I do." She answered immediately. "Then you may now KISS the bride!" Celestia announced loudly. Twilight felt the veil lift off her face, and she sucked in a nervous breath as she took a step forward. Her first kiss with a colt. Her mouth felt dry as Blueblood leaned forward, and they pressed their lips together. Their lips connected, but neither pressed their tongue in. It was still oddly warm. The excitement of the ceremony, the emotion running through everypony around them, the strange comfort she found in the colt that shared her exact feelings on the whole thing, it wasn't as revolting as she thought it would be. They broke the kiss, and the crowd went wild. Hooves stomped the floor, cheers came from every level and every side of the room, flowers were tossed to the stage, and the light began to turn on. Twilight turned to look with Blueblood. Everypony in the audience looked so happy, even her brother stomped the floor politely, though his eyes were burning as he stared at Blueblood. Twilight and Blueblood trot down the stairs, followed by the bridesmaids and the groomsmen, sprinting towards the door leading out, away from the pony-filled auditorium, amid cheers and flowers and who the hay was throwing rice!? Guards stood along the hallways, guiding the fleeing couple and the procession of wedding goers to the castle gardens. Twilight had no doubt there would be a number of decorations and delicious foods to balance out the rest of the bits put into the wedding, and was looking forward to getting out into the cool air. She and Blueblood ran through an intersecting hallway, unaware of the caterers suddenly blocking off the procession from following them by rushing through the opposite hallways, and the two turned a corner to find themselves nearly running into Duke Blueblood. "Ah, excellent, the newlyweds have arrived." He spoke with a strangely thoughtful smile. "Come, we have a little business to attend to and then we can eat and dance for the rest of the night." He opened a nearby door to a stairwell and entered. "Come now, don't make me wait." He ordered. Twilight and Blueblood stared after him, and then glanced to each other. Blueblood shrugged his shoulders, and hesitantly complied. Twilight followed. "Father, what do you mean by 'business'? We're married, aren't we? We should be out for the first dance, opening wedding gifts!" "Prince Blueblood now is not the time to argue with me. Quickly now, the sooner we get this over with..." Duke called from the top of the stairs, opening another door to the second story. Twilight and Blueblood both frowned as they followed him through. "Get what over with, father?" Blueblood called ahead. "There are going to be news ponies and cameras in the garden! They'll want pictures and statements! We can't spread the news if we're not there!" Duke Blueblood opened another door and walked in. "Father!" Blueblood shouted in exasperation. Twilight looked around as they walked to the door, after her new step-father. She had never been down this particular wing of the castle. It looked just as formal as the rest of the castle, but a lot more sterile. Empty. The room they stepped into was even more alien to her. It had a desk, a chair behind the desk, and around a dozen more chairs in front of it. This was an office! Duke Blueblood sat back in a comfortable chair in front of the desk, smiling as his son and Twilight in a strange way. "Blueblood, how many times have I told you to not worry? I know precisely what I'm doing, and I have never steered you wrong, have I?" "I suppose." Blueblood muttered after a moment of thought. He slumped in a chair before the desk, Twilight sitting in one next to him. "What's going on?" Twilight asked, staring at the oaken desk in front of them. She was confused, and she had to admit, a bit paranoid. "Nothing bad, nothing bad at all. A simple distribution of your dowry is all. We might as well get this out of the way, then go mingle, right? Saves us the trip, not to mention the bore!" Duke Blueblood was oddly energetic, Twilight noted. Maybe it was just them coming off of the wedding, but he seemed so reserved before. "I guess." Twilight agreed. "- an honest disgrace to my job and my dignity!" Came a voice from the hallway. "I plan the wedding of the century in the span of five days and twice we're going to be late!" The wedding organizer suddenly bustled in, stacks of papers and notebooks slamming onto the table as he went around the desk and sat down. "We assure you, it won't take but a moment." Duchess Blueblood said with a coy smile as she walked inside, sliding into a seat next to her husband while the youngest of the Bluebloods climbed into the seat next to hers. Twilight watched her father, mother, Shining Armor, Cadence, and Spike walk in, equally confused, and settle into the chairs around Twilight. Duke's horn glowed, and the door shut. "I don't care if it takes thirty minutes or thirty seconds, we're spitting in the face of tradition! 'Send the bridesmaids and groomsmen out early', fah! I'd expect the Bluebloods to be proud defenders of tradition." The organizer griped as he pulled a particularly thin stack of notes out of the paper pile and set them down. "Holding the dowry before the wedding party? Were you not paying me so well, I'd have trampled my mother's grave before I agreed to such heresy!" All ponies present stared at the slightly unhinged wedding organizer with growing worry, all except Duke Blueblood. "Then get it over with man! I'll hear your complaints later when I'm not forced to." The organizer continued to mumble some unpleasant things, then checked the top paper. "Ahem. By marriage law, you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and your family are being paid a hefty dowry to cover your hoof in marriage, the land you own, and your future exploits." He nodded to the Sparkle family, who didn't move a muscle as he pulled out the next sheet of paper. "As well as, by royal tradition," he almost spat the word, "you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, shall inherit the Blueblood's land and assets should the current owners and your husband pass away." Twilight glanced to the Blueblood family, and none but Prince Blueblood seemed particularly perturbed by the information. The organizer pulled out the next sheet of paper. "Prince Blueblood, this goes to you as well. Should the current owners of the Sparkle assets pass away, and then their son, and then their oldest daughter, and then Twilight Sparkle pass away as well, your family will gain her family's land and money." Twilight winced at the thought, and could feel her brother's hoof gently nudge hers. The organizer turned over the next piece of paper. "From the lead council of the Canterlot Department of Agriculture and Animal Growth, the head desk of the Canterlot Explorer's Noble Society, from the captain of the Canterlot Foreign Expedition Guild, and from the chairman of the Canterlot Architecture and Builder's Association, you, Prince Blueblood and Princess Twilight Sparkle Blueblood have been appointed by the Canterlot Royal Traditions Society to be the-..." He froze, mouth hanging open. His jaw dropped bonelessly, and he fluttered his eyelids rapidly. Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight watched Duke Blueblood lean forward. "Oh." The organizer gulped audibly, and continued. "To be the masters and lords of the newly formed kingdom of Gelderlanden." Every pony in the room sat, stunned, jaws open, eyes wide. Everypony but Duchess and Duke Blueblood, who shared very similar smiles, both dripping with smug triumph. "Ex-excuse me?" Night Light spoke up, straightening himself in his chair. "Did you say 'masters and lords' of a newly formed kingdom?" "If you want to be technical, they'd be king and queen there, but yes." The organizer seemed equally surprised as he reread the paper. "Ahem. 'Dear Prince Blueblood and Princess Twilight Sparkle, first and foremost, congratulations on your marriage, all of us wish you the best of luck in your future together. It has come to our attention that the both of you are wise, intelligent ponies with immense power and charisma as befitting all royalty in Equestria, and we have the perfect opportunity for the both of you to celebrate your joining. We are well aware that neither of you have greater duties to Canterlot than what we are willing to offer: in the North-West, a kingdom has been ordered and built to accommodate a pair of great rulers and many subjects to guard, explore, and experiment with we have deemed 'The Border'. A massive wall of magical power created by our princesses to guard Equestria against the land just beyond it, an immense, dangerous world of chaotic magic where our typical magic is rendered useless against the creatures beyond. Teams of explorers, scientists, and body-guards are set to enter The Border and learn everything they can by exploring it to benefit Equestria's expansion into it. All they are missing are a pair of great leaders. We plead to you, Prince Blueblood and Princess Twilight Sparkle, to lend your talents to our efforts to protect and strengthen Equestria, by leading the ponies of Gelderlanden to a safe, productive future.' From the Office of Canterlot's Royal Traditions Society." Everypony turned their head to face Twilight and Blueblood, who glanced to each other with wide-eyed looks. Twilight was the first to break the sudden silence. "Well, I-I don't-" "It's rather sudden, we didn't know-" Blueblood added, stumbling over his words in his haste. "I have a family and friends and-" "I-I don't know if I can run a kingdom-" "Of course they'll accept." Duke Blueblood spoke over both of the babbling ponies, grabbing everypony else's attention. He smiled a broad smile, and lounged in his chair comfortably. "My son and daughter-in-law are the perfect candidates. We will accept any chance to bring Equestria to greater heights." "Father I-" Blueblood tried to speak, but Duke shot him a sharp look. "Blueblood, this is an excellent opportunity for you and your new wife. Don't look at it as inheriting a kingdom, look at it as an opportunity to put the skills you've learned in your life to good use." He then shrugged. "For your country!" Blueblood sat back in resentful silence as Twilight turned to face her family. "I don't know..." She whispered. "Well, Twilight..." Her mother spoke up, and gulped. "It is an opportunity..." "Mother!" Shining Armor spoke up. "She's barely out of school! She's still being mentored! You can't- she's still too-" "Shining Armor." Twilight Twinkle interrupted him promptly. "This is not your decision to make. Twilight, we trust you to know the right choice, but I do think this might be something to consider." "What if going there is the wrong choice!?" Shining Armor demanded. "Then your father and I will have both made a stupid decision for her." Twilight looked into both her parents' eyes, then to Shining Armor. He was shaking his head rapidly, but Cadence looked... distant. "Armor, sweetie?" She looked up to her husband, and Shining Armor stopped. "How good is your teleportation?" "I can teleport across Equestria, you know that..." He answered curiously. "Twilight, I think you should do it." Cadence turned back to her little sister, and smiled warmly. "What!?" Shining Armor stared down at Cadence incredulously. "I can't believe what I'm hearing!" "Armor, sweetie, if Twilight needs us, we can both be there in the blink of an eye, regardless of what we're doing. She won't be alone." Cadence beamed at Twilight. Twilight felt a little warmth in the pit of her stomach, and with her family supporting her, she was feeling more and more sure, but there was still one more to ask... She stared straight down at Spike, who was scratching his chin. "Hey, daddy-o." Spike glanced past Twilight at Blueblood. Blueblood blinked curiously. "Me?" "Yeah, you. Will I get my own room?" He planted his hands on his hips. Twilight and Blueblood both looked to each other, then back to him. "I suppose." Twilight answered with a shrug. Kingdoms usually came with castles, and castles meant lots of room... "Sounds good to me!" Spike nodded with a growing smile. Twilight nodded back, and looked back up to the wedding organizer. "I'm in." "I guess I am too." Blueblood sighed. "Well alright then. Congratulations." The organizer set his papers back on his taller stack. "I'll be sure to turn in the paperwork for this ASAP. Good luck to the both of you." He stood, as did every other pony. "Yeah..." Blueblood groaned. "I think we'll need it." For those of you who are noticing the many parallels to Growing Pains already, I apologize. Twilight will not grow superpowers. Fluttershy will.