//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8: A Spoiled Customer 
// Story: Good Burger: Ed's Misadventures in Equestria 
// by sonicfan05 
//------------------------------//

"Ugh... the things I do for Princess Twilight... and to keep myself from getting fired," Flash groaned painfully as he held a frozen bag of peas over his right eye.

After waking up from being punched in the face by a muscled white stallion with tiny wings, Flash stood behind the counter and continued to take orders from many customers while treating his injury. He silently cursed Ed for putting him in this situation, but at least he managed to convince the three fillies to not report on their sisters thanks to his little "lie" he came up with. Although, he had hoped that his lie won't come back to bite him in the flank if things went wrong. He just needs to explain to Princess Twilight very gently about this after he's done with his work.

Speaking of those three fillies, the CMCs were sitting at their seats, eating their lunch which was given by Flash free of charge. As they were eating, the three we're having a conversation about Spike's suddenly arrival and have everypony, including Ed to come to Twilight's castle for some "emergency".

"What do ya supposed was that about Apple Bloom?" Sweetie asked before taking a bite of her hayburger.

Apple Bloom shrugged as she swallowed her food. "Ya got me Sweetie Belle! Whatever this is, it must've been serious."

"And they bring that strange hoo-man along!" Scootaloo added with her mouthful, much to the other two's disgust before swallowing. "Whether an act or not, he is a one strange creature!"

"And yet, he was invited to Good Morning Ponyvillie from DJPON-3! The DJPON-3!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

"Ah still coundn't get my head wrapped around dat!" said Apple Bloom before taking a sip from her soda.

Their conversation was interrupted when they heard the restaurant's main door opened. A filly about the same age as the Crusaders walked in with a tired frown. She had a pink coat with purple and white-striped mane and tail. She also wore a tiara on her head, which also appeared on her flank as her cutie-mark. The CMC realized that it was their ex-bully, now friend from their school, but noticed that their friend appeared to be stressed about something.

"Oh hey Diamond Tiara!" Apple Bloom greeted on behalf of the group. "What brings y'all here?"

Diamond walked up to them and let out a sigh. "Well... our stove just broke down, so daddy suggested we come down to this fast food restaurant to pick up some food."

"We?" Apple Bloom asked.

Before Diamond could clarify, the girls heard a loud angry shout from behind them, making Diamond froze in place in fear.

"DIAMOND TIARA!"

Diamond gulped as she and the Crusaders turned towards an older mare, who was towering over them. She had a light magenta coat with purple mane and tail. She wore a light turquoise dress shirt with golden chain necklace around her neck and a golden belt around her waist. She also had wrinkles underneath her eyes and an almost permanent scowl on her face. 

That mare was Spoiled Rich, Diamond Tiara's mother. She is the head member of Ponyville's Schoolhouse and the richest mare in town. However, despite her status, the ponies in town who knew her, will tell you that she is not the most "friendly" pony either. Unlike Diamond Tiara when she was a bully, Spoiled's attitude was a hundred times worse! She was always acted stuck-up towards others like she's better than every pony else and looked down on others who she thinks have lower class than her. She even treated her loyal employers like they were nothing. She even goes out of her way just to get herself to be the top of the social ladder.

Even going as far as to use her own daughter!

She tried to teach her daughter everything she knows when her husband wasn't around so that not only her daughter will follow in her hoofsteps, but also gained better benefits through her daughter in the long run years later. But her laid out plans went up in smoke after those CMC brats changed her daughter and wanted to be her own pony. Not only that, her own daughter even stood up against HER, as if she herself was in the wrong. She did as she was told by her daughter in the end, but was furious due to humiliation. Not only she and her daughter were no longer see eye to eye, but also her daughter no longer wanted to pursue the same interests as her.

And it was all those CMC brats' fault!

Needless to say, she had a grudge against those three ever since. She was grouchy enough that she was forced to getting food in that dump of a restaurant after their stove was broken. After seeing her daughter with those brats however, her blood pressure nearly skyrocketed.

"What did I tell you to not go talk to them or associate with these insignificant lowlifes!" Spoiled shouted, attracting other customer's attention in the process.

"They're my friends mother!" Diamond argued, nearly embarrassed from her mother's public display.

"Not another word from you Diamond!" Spoiled huffed as she trotted towards the counter with her nose up. "Let's just pick up these low quality low food and leave! I rather not be here any longer with these commoners!"

Diamond sighed heavily as her mother stormed away before she faced the Crusaders with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry about that girls!" she said. "I would rather be here but..."

"It's alright Diamond, we understand," Apple Bloom responded as both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded along. "You can hang out with us later after yer done eating with your family."

"If I can get away from mother," Diamond mumbled.

"DIAMOND TIARA!"

Diamond flinched from her mother's voice before she responded. "Coming!"

Just before she ran off, Apple Bloom called out to her. "Hang on Diamond!"

Diamond turned back. "What is it Apple Bloom?"

"Just fer the heads up, the guy yer ordering from not only takes orders wrong, but he also take orders in the most bizarre way," Apple Bloom warned.

Diamond turned towards the direction where Flash Sentry was standing with a raised eyebrow. "You mean that pony?"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "No, he took over for that guy. The one we're talking about is a hoo-man... or something."

Both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded in union to back up Apple Bloom's warning.

"...oh. Well no biggie!" Diamond said with a shrug. "This won't be the first time dealing with a register po– hooman who had trouble dealing with taking orders."

Scootaloo huffed and crossed her hooves. "That's what I said... until he gave me a half of burger after cutting it in half with scissors when I gave him a half-off coupon!"

Diamond Tiara blinked. "...you're kidding, right?"

"I wish we were," said Sweetie Belle. "Although that Flash guy told us he was just doing this as an act for the restaurant and we shouldn't take that seriously."

"Hmmm... taking orders on purpose just for laughs sounds like an interesting concept," Diamond mused. "If that's the case, I would love to see how he drives my mother crazy when she ordered!"

Apple Bloom smirked. "While Ah don't see the appeal of that, but if dat happens, Ah'll definitely take a front row seat for the show!"

"DIAMOND!"

The girls jumped from Spoiled's angry call.

"Sorry, gotta go! Later girls!" Diamond said hurriedly before running towards her mother to avoid getting scold at... again!

Meanwhile, Flash had just took a bag of frozen peas off of his face when he noticed two ponies coming his way. He saw a young filly with a Tiara on her head and a mare with a deep scowl on her face. Flash groaned internally when he recognized that uptight mare from one of Celestia's galas a couple months back.

Oh great... it's that mare! Flash thought. Okay Flash... just smile, stay calm, take her order and be done with it!

He put on his welcoming smile as soon as the two ponies approached him. "Hi. Welcome to the Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. May I take your order?"

Spoiled stared at him with judgemental eyes for a moment, making Flash feel slightly uncomfortable before speaking.

"Yes... I want you to give me your rarest hay steak you got!"

Flash felt his left eye twitching but still kept his smile. "Um... ma'am, it's not that kind of restaurant. This is a fast food restaurant."

Spoiled huffed and rolled her eyes. "Well you should have that on your menu! Honestly, why would you commoners preferred some greasy food made by some low-quality stove when you could have a much better and high quality food like Prance or Neigh-talian! At least with those foods, they'll taste like heaven and fulfilling while your food tasted like it came from a barn! Not to mention, your kind of food would give many ponies a heart attack just waiting to happen and yet they would still come back for more like a bunch of morons they are! But I guess that's what happens when they're not rich enough to get better food then we are!"

During her loud angry rant, she inevitably attracted nearly all the customers in the restaurant to her direction, much to Diamond's embarrassment. Their curious stares slowly changed to glares after hearing so many insulting things she had said about them. Spoiled paid no attention to many angry customers, either because she was too arrogant to notice or she just simply doesn't care. As for Flash, he no longer had that welcoming smile he put on for the mare, as if he too had enough of rude mare.

"Ma'am... I don't appreciate your rude comments towards our customers who are currently eating our food now and we also have the right to refuse to take orders from you. So you can either take your order from whatever we have from our menu or you can just leave and eat elsewhere!"

Spoiled simply glared at him as if he was the one who insulted her, until she let out a huff.

"Fine! ...then I'll have one of your so-called Good Burger!"

Flash nodded. "Much better–"

"But I want you to cook it Canterlot style" Spoiled added. "Including the finest veggies which were grown from New Hayshire!"

As Flash resisted the urge to facehoof, Diamond spoke up. "Um... what about me?"

Spoiled raised her nose up. "You're getting a salad Diamond Tiara!"

"A salad!?" Diamond exclaimed angrily. "Why am I only getting a salad!?"

"It's because you put too much weight in your body," Spoiled responded coolly. "So therefore, you're on a diet!"

"Says the mare who often sneaked food during her diet!" Diamond growled lowly.

Spoiled turned to her daughter with a glare. "What was that!?"

"Nothing mother!" Diamond responded immediately.

Flash sighed heavily. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish Ed was here to put up with this mare!





Back at the castle, Twilight was nervously pacing back in forth, while everyone else (except for Pinkie and Ed, who was having a rollerblading contest) watched her with concern expressions.

"OOOOOOH! I'm already stressful enough as it is!" Twilight exclaimed, while keeping herself from having a panic attack. "First with figuring out how to send Ed back, then my upcoming meeting with Thorax about some rogue changelings on the loose, who are still very loyal to Queen Chrysalis... and now this!"

Rainbow Dash scoffed as she crossed her hooves. "I don't get it Twilight! Why to you let that royal jerk walk all over you? Can't you just say "no" to his stupid gala party?"

Twilight stopped pacing and sighed heavily. "It's not that simple Rainbow Dash! Blueblood had the document with Celestia's actual signature that I have to host this year's gala!"

"Are ya sure that was Princess Celestia's signature?" Applejack asked.

Twilight sighed. "I... don't know."

Applejack frowned. "Don't know? What do you mean, you don't know?"

"After glimpsing at it many times and remembered how the princess wrote her documents, her signature looked exactly how Celestia wrote it! Even Princess Luna confirmed that it was her hoofwriting!" Twilight explained.

Princess Luna nodded to back up Twilight's statement. 

Twilight then furrowed her brow. "And yet..."

"And yet... what darling?" Rarity pressed.

"And yet... there's something about her signature that seemed... off... but I can't quite put my hoof on it." 

"So, why don't you just go to Princess Celestia herself and tell her you don't want to do it!" Fluttershy suggested.

Twilight shook her head. "You heard him, she's out of the country right now, having a meeting with other world leaders! Even if she's not busy... I'm afraid that I may be... offending her."

Spike scoffed. "Offending her? That's ridiculous Twilight! Why would you think Princess Celestia would be offended for questing her?"

Twilight rubbed her shoulder with uncertainly. "Well... what if Princess Celestia really was giving Blueblood a chance to redeem himself and me throwing the gala would be the way to do it? I don't really care much about Blueblood at all, but I really don't want to disappoint her."

Spike walked up to Twilight and placed his claw on her shoulder. "Aw come on Twilight. You know Celestia will never be disappointed in you, even if you don't agree with her decisions. I'm sure if you talk to her when she returns, she'll understand."

Every pony nodded their heads encouragingly, agreeing with Spike. Despite their suppose, Twilight still felt some doubt about the situation. 

"I appreciate it Spike," Twilight sighed. "But unfortunately until she comes back, I have no choice but to go along with it and come up with ways for Ed to give his first good impression with other ponies."

"You worry too much Twilight!" said Cadance. "Ed is a very likeable guy! I'm sure he can easily make his first impression."

"Check this out guys! Me and Pinkie are rollerblading!"

"Yeah, check us out!"

Everyone turned to see both Ed and Pinkie rollerblading across the room as they held each other hand/hoof. However, they were going too fast and their rollerblading straight towards them. Spike noticed this and ran out in front of them in panic.

"Wait wait Ed! Pinkie! Don't--"

Unfortunately for Spike, they didn't heed his warnings. As a result the crashed into him and fell on top of him in the process. The girls winced at their display.

"...okay. He definitely needs to work on his impressions." Starlight mumbled, causing Trixie to nod in agreement.

"And maybe a better outfit!" Rarity added. "That uniform is sooo nineteen nineties!"

"I think I just broke my spleen!" Spike mumbled in pain.

As Ed slowly got himself off from Spike, Luna walked up to him with a neutral face.

"So... Ed, right?" she asked.

Ed nodded. "Yep, that's me! Heh!"

Luna's eyes narrowed. "What are your intentions of staying here until we find a way to send you home?"

"Luna!" Twilight cried and tried to fly over to her, but was prevented by Cadance. She shook her head at Twilight and silently told her to stay put and let Luna handle this. They all hoped that Luna's blunt question didn't offend Ed in the slightest, but to everypony's surprise, Ed simply smiled.

"Oh well, I take orders at the Good Burger and maybe make some friends while I'm here. Heh!"

Luna blinked. "...that's it?"

"Yeah! What do you think I should do?" He asked with a smile. He then checked his watch and his eyes widened. "Whoa! Speaking of which, I gotta go! I need to get back helping Flash! Later dudes!"

Before anypony could say anything, Ed abruptly left the room with his roller-blades, disappearing out into the hall. Everyone just stood silently with stunned expressions until Cadance jabbed her Aunt's ribs. 

"Still convinced that he's up to something?" Cadance asked with her sly smile.

Luna simply looked away with a huff. "Well... I'm convinced that he doesn't appeared to be smart... unless that's how he acted."

Suddenly, they heard a loud noise, starling everypony in the process.

"Um... girls? Did ya'll hear somethin?" Applejack asked nervously.

The noise have gotten louder until they heard a loud scream coming from above them. It sounded like it came from the ceiling vent and something, or rather, some pony wall falling down from their. They looked up just in time to see a mint green pony fall through the vent cover and falling down towards the ground. Before that pony hit the ground, Twilight used her magic just in time to catch the intruder. Once they got the pony in her grasp, they all got a good look at their "visitor" and then gasped in surprise.

"Lyra!?" Twilight exclaimed.

Lyra, who was floating in Twilight's magic, waved at them with her sheepish smile.

"Eheheheh... long time no see everypony!"





Flash sighed irritably for a hundredth time. He had spent almost fifteen minutes with that unbearable mare... just to make an order. Everytime he felt like he was making progress, that mare would then demanded something that was not on the menu or ordered him to do something unrealistic like take a trip to another city to buy a specific ingredient for her within five minutes. His customer was getting angrier by the second, but at this point, Flash nearly run out of patience with this mare.

"Ma'am, for the last time, we are out of mustard and we also do not have a so-called high quality mustard which was made in Canterlot!" Flash explained calmly.

Spoiled scrunched her nose in anger and banged on the counter with her hoof. "This is outrageous! You ponies don't have everything I like here! And when I do want something, you refused to fulfilled my request! Whatever happened to "the customer is always right"!?"

"Mother, this isn't how you do things in a place like this!?" Diamond spoke up. "You need to order what they have available here! You can't just demanded to have them take a trip to Canterlot to pick up the brand you wanted and expected to get it right this minute!"

"Not a word from you Diamond!" Spoiled growled as she turned to her daughter. "You're still getting a salad so you don't become fat from their food!"

"I think you need a salad more than her!" Flash mumbled.

Spoiled faced Flash again with a fierce glare. "What was that!?"

"Er- I mean, your daughter has a point!" Flash quickly clarified. "You could only get what we have here!"

"But I don't like any of your selections in this dump!" Spoiled shouted.

Flash's eyes narrowed. "Well what do ya expect!? This is a fast food restaurant, not a five star restaurant!"

Spoiled banged her hoof on the counter again. "Alright, that's it! If you don't give me what I wanted in five seconds, I'm calling the manager!"

"But I am the manager!" said Flash.

Spoiled scoffed. "Nice try, but you're not fooling me! I'm counting down right now!"

"Mother, stop!" Diamond shouted.

"Five!"

"Ma'am, just calm down!" Flash cried out desperately.

"Four!"

"Mom! You're making a scene!" Diamond pleaded.

"Three!"

Flash surveys the area nervously. "Where's Ed!?"

"Two!"

Suddenly, the main doors flew open and a screaming mysterious figure rushed into the restaurant, startling everypony in the process. Before Spoiled, Flash or Diamond noticed, the figure was heading towards their way until he crashed into the counter, flipped over and fell onto the floor from behind the counter. Shortly after that, the figure stood up, revealing to be Ed with his same goofy smile.

"I'm back!" Ed announced.

"Ed!" Flash cried, silently relieved of his arrival... for once. "What took ya? And is Princess Twilight okay?"

"Oh sure, Twilight's fine!" Ed responded with a wave. "She just talked to some guy named Mr. Royal Pain. Heh."

"Royal Pain?" Flash asked in confusion

Before Ed could continue, they were interrupted by a certain angry rich spoiled mare.

"Hey! Why is some monkey showed up behind the counter!? I'm still demanding for some service!"

Noticing her for the first time, Ed turned towards Spoiled with a smile. "Oh hi, welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order? Heh."

Spoiled gave Ed her an annoyed look before she huffed. "First of all, I already ordered! Second, what you just did was completely unprofessional! And third, your grammar is atrocious! It's not "Can I take your order," it's "May I take your order?"

Ed smiled and began to list things off with his fingers. "Oh sure! I'll have a good burger, some good fries, a good shake and maybe a good apple pie–"

"No no no no no!" Spoiled shouted, already losing her patience with Ed. She then gave Ed her stink eye. "Listen here you simpleton, all I want is a new bottle of mustard and I want it now!"

Ed tilted his head. "You want a bottle of mustard?"

"YES! That's what I just said!" Spoiled shouted briefly showing Ed her empty bottle of mustard before putting it down on the counter.

"Uhhhh... mustard..." Ed mumbled as he slowly turned himself around to find another bottle. "Mustard... mustard..." 

After he did a full three-sixty turn, he spotted a mustard bottle, which was the same mustard bottle that Spoiled showed him earlier. He picked it up and gave it to Spoiled. "OH! Here you go!"

Almost everypony in the restaurant was snickering at Spoiled expense, while Spoiled herself was getting angrier at the goofy human.

"You think this is funny you hairless ape? I demanded to be serviced, but you were busy clowning around!"

"There were clowns! Where!?" Ed shouted excitedly as he looked around the room.

Spoiled was now gritting her teeth. "Look! I need a different bottle of mustard for my food!" She then picked up her mustard bottle again. "Look! Can't you see that this bottle is empty?!"

"Uhhhhh... no?" Ed responded. "You just got to squeeze it like you mean it lady!"

To demonstrate his point, he took the bottle from Spoiled and start squeezing the bottle as hard and wildly as possible. Unfortunately for Spoiled, Ed had the mustard nozzle pointed straight at her. As a result, he sprayed mustard all over her, including her face. Ed eventually stopped squeezing the bottle and smiled at the angry mare.

"See? There you go! That'll be eight bucks!"

Everypony in the restaurant was now exploding with laughter, glad to see that insufferable mare finally got some karma. Even Diamond Tiara was laughing at her mother's expense, despite trying so hard (and failed) to hide it from her. Spoiled's face was now deep red in rage as she wiped some mustard off of her eyes.

"You little-- wait til I get my hooves on--"

As she made one step towards Ed, she failed to notice a pool of mustard that was on the floor underneath her. As a result, she slipped and landed on her butt. This makes everypony who watched her laughed even harder.

Ed peaked down over the counter with a concerned expression. "Hey! You okay lady?"

Spoiled growled and stood up. "NO! I am NOT okay!" She shouted, nearly scaring her daughter. "You don't have what I want! Your food looks terrible! Your manners are HORRIBLE! And you sprayed mustered all over my FAVORITE dress! You will pay for this!"

"Uh... no? Your the one who ordered, so YOU have to pay it!" Said Ed, making everypony in the restaurant laugh again.

"You'll regret this!" Spoiled seethed while giving Ed her hateful glare. "You'll regret the day you ever mess with Spoiled Rich... and I will make sure of it!" She then lifted her muzzle up as she turned to walk out of the door. "Come Diamond Tiara!"

Diamond obeyed, but not before she looked at Ed and mouthed, "Thank you!" and then ran after her mother. By the time they went out the door, Ed stared quizzically at their direction.

"Wow... what's her problem?" Ed asked as Flash went up to him.

"Ed, I can't believe I'm saying this, but for once, I'm glad you're here!" Flash said with a smile before frowning. "That mare was the most unpleasant, despicable pony I've ever met!"

"Yeah, that's Spoiled Rich alright!" said Apple Bloom as she and her friends trotted up to the counter. "She's the head of a school board from our school with a ruler up her butt and thinks she's better than everypony!"

"She's has a ruler up her butt!?" Ed exclaimed. "Whoa! She should go and see a doctor!"

"It was only a figure of speech Ed!" Flash sighed before addressing towards the fillies. "So she acted like this to everypony often?"

When the CMC nodded, Flash felt even more disgusted about that rich mate.

"Unbelievable! How did this mare kept getting away with this!?"

"That's because she's also a wife to the richest stallion in Equestria, Filthy Rich," Sweetie Belle explained. "But unlike Spoiled, Mr. Rich is actually a really nice guy. What Mr. Rich sees in that mare was beyond me!"

"Still, ever since we helped her daughter, she held a grudge against us since, often making our lives miserable!" Scootaloo added bitterly before smiling up to Ed. "But seeing you driving her crazy like that really made my day!"

Ed smiled. "Thanks, except I don't have my license yet! Heh!"

Scootaloo was confused about Ed's statement, but she just shook her head and smirked. "You're pretty weird and I'm still miffed at you from earlier, but after what you did to Spoiled, you earned my respect!"

"Thanks!" said Ed. "So, would you like to take your order?"

The three fillies grimaced.

"Uh... we're good!" Apple Bloom responded. "Ah think we had enough of your performance on us fer one day!"

"But we would like to watch you do that to other ponies, as long it's not too far!" Sweetie Belle added.

Ed gave them his confused look. "Performance?"

"Er, they mean... keep doing what you've been doing Ed!" Flash quickly spoke up. "Just... bring it down a notch."

"Oh okay! Heh heh!" Ed laughed, much to Flash relief.

Apple Bloom turned to her friends. "You know what girls... Ed was actually kind of funny... when he's not messing with us that is!"

Scootaloo nodded in agreement. "Yeah! I guess he was doing this all in good fun if we don't take this seriously!"

"Maybe we should tell everyone from our school to come over!" said Sweetie Belle. "I would love to see how he acted towards the others!"

"Like Snips and Snails!" Scootaloo suggested with mischief in her eyes. "There's so many possible funny outcomes from these guys!"

Flash, who overheard the trio's conversation gulped nervously.

Oh boy... I better let Princess Twilight know what I just done before things get out of hoof... even if I end up receiving her wrath!