//------------------------------// // CRISIS: Equestria - Chapter Ten // Story: CRISIS: Equestria // by GanonFLCL //------------------------------// CRISIS: Equestria Chapter Ten: Interjection Applejack couldn’t sleep. She lifted herself up from her resting position against a large rock and stretched her legs. It had been a long time since she’d ever had to rough it and sleep in the dirt every night like this, but circumstances didn’t favor ideal camping conditions. Two days had passed since the Gate incident, and even in the dark of night, Applejack could make out the first landmark up ahead in the distance. The terrain ahead gradually shifted from drab grays and browns into striking reds and blacks, and sharp inclines replaced flat expanses. The tops of several great volcanoes loomed beyond, spewing fire and ash into the air and coating the sky above with thick, black smoke like a coven of dragons battling amongst themselves over a potential mate. Tick Tock had insisted the group make camp several miles away, so that they wouldn’t be sleeping in range of any possible volcanic activity. The site they’d picked was littered with ash-stained rocks, but was otherwise the clearest spot they could find for nearly a mile around. Twilight had magically crafted a blueish-purple flame that flickered in the center of their campsite, around which most of the group now slept. Their saddlebags, or rather what was left of their collection, rested nearby against the largest rock. In their haste to flee from the Gate, they’d left behind a full third of their initial number, leaving them desperately short of supplies. Fortunately, most of the bags they’d managed to keep carried their rationed assortment of Dolor products. Their fortune ended there. Other supplies were in much shorter availability. Originally, Flathoof’s parents had given them substandard sleeping bags, one for each of them. They were now down to three, and one of them had been heavily torn. The two that remained in good condition were at first a topic of debate for the group, but Lockwood had insisted they be given to the less hardy members of the party: Rarity and Fluttershy. The other was being given out in rotation, and tonight it was Lockwood’s turn. They also had no changes in clothes, something Rarity claimed to be an unmitigated disaster. The clothes they’d been wearing during their escape, which for the Ponyville natives were the same clothes they’d been wearing for the past two days, had long since become uncomfortable. They were barely used to wearing clothes at all, and certainly unaccustomed to wearing clothes while traveling, so some of them had to make some changes. Rarity had altered her dress in such a way that it no longer caught under her hooves. Pinkie had ditched her roller skates, as the desert terrain of the Wastelands wasn’t suited for wheels. Other than that, they were just matted with sweat, and covered with dirt. Still, the journey hadn’t gotten off to too bad of a start. Applejack inched around the campfire, making her way towards the perimeter of the camp to where Flathoof stood at attention. He’d agreed to take first watch, and it was nearing time for Applejack to take over for the next shift. Or so she guessed - she couldn’t be too sure. The sky above still churned with the murky orange veil of the ‘Beacon’, as Tick Tock had called it, so Applejack couldn’t see the moon or the stars at all. “Y’all look like ya could use a little break,” she whispered, stepping up to Flathoof. Flathoof half-turned his head towards her, and nodded to acknowledge her presence. “Are you still awake, Applejack? You really should be—" He interrupted himself with a loud, drawn-out yawn. “Getting some sleep.” She chuckled. “I could say the same ‘bout yerself. Go on, get some sleep. I’m takin’ next watch anyway, so consider yerself relieved.” “Nnnope, I’m not leaving my post until my shift is up,” he said, stomping a hoof in the dirt. “You can’t say anything that’ll change my—" Another yawn. “Mind.” She laughed, feigning insult. “Don’t try actin’ all macho with me, sugar. That sorta thing might work on the others, like Twi and Rarity maybe, but it don’t hold with me.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Perhaps you’re right. You’re a tough cookie, I’ll give you that.” He took another look at the smoldering red tops of the mountains in the distance, and let out a deep sigh. “I suppose I’m just trying to keep my mind off things. Whenever I get any sleep, I... dream. Not good dreams either. I’d rather put that off, if I could.” Applejack frowned and nodded her head. She didn’t have the heart to tell him, but he talked in his sleep. “They’re ‘bout her, ain’t they? If ya need ta get somethin’ off yer chest, I’m here ta listen. That’s what I said I’d do.” Flathoof stared at the ground for several moments. “Do they have magmaberries in your world?” She blinked. “What-berries? Naw, I ain’t heard o’ nothing like that. What are they?” “They’re a rare delicacy around these parts. Sweet on the outside, spicy on the inside... or was it the other way around? Popular in desserts around the holidays. My cousin Bundtcake works for a catering company that specializes in working with them.” He pointed off towards the volcanoes. “She says the Redblade Mountains are the only place in all of Equestria they grow, so they’re usually pretty expensive. They’re supposedly very dangerous to harvest.” Applejack scratched her head. “Sounds awful fancy. I ain’t never been one ta like them high-falootin’ foods. I prefer my eats nice ‘n’ simple-like. Hay ‘n’ oats, apples ‘n’ carrots, stuff like that. Heck, I’m still gettin’ used ta this weird Dolor junk y’all got ‘round here. That Green stuff we brought... ugh.” Flathoof laughed and scratched his chin. “Trust me, if you can handle the spice, they’re real tasty. I think you’d like them.” “If y’all say so.” She adjusted her hat and stepped a little closer to him. “If these here things are so expensive, how d’ya get ta eat ‘em? No offense, but y’all said yerself that yer family weren’t exactly wealthy.” “Well, my cousin always sends out a few magmaberry treats around the holidays to everypony in the family. Cousin Bundtcake is very popular, you understand. My mom makes the best magmaberry pie.” Flathoof closed his eyes and licked his lips. “Last year, I invited Snapshot over, since she and her family were kind of on the outs. I felt it was the right thing to do, seeing as we were friends and all. She’d never tasted magmaberries before.” He laughed into his hoof. “We all got a good laugh. She couldn't handle it at first, but they grew on her.” Applejack joined him in smiling. “See? There’s a happy memory. Y’all gotta hang onta those.” “Yeah...” His smile fell. “A few weeks ago, she asked me about this year. My family just adored her, and they wanted her back so much that they asked her to come again. She wanted to know if we were having magmaberries, and asked me if I could get her a very specific kind of dessert she was interested in. She had a good taste in desserts, I think.” He sighed. “Seeing these damned mountains reminds me all about it. I wish we didn’t have to come this way...” Applejack remained silent a moment, then removed her hat and placed it over her heart. “If I’d known what this here place meant to ya, I would’ve argued goin’ ‘round another way.” He sniffed and wiped a hoof under his eye. “Don’t blame yourself or your friends, Applejack. I don’t. I knew we were coming this way, and I chose not to argue it with Tick Tock. If this is the fastest way to get you all home and save your world, then this is the way we’re going. I’ve got to face these feelings eventually, and as much as I want to put some of them off... I know there’s no avoiding it.” “Well that’s awful strong o’ y’all,” Applejack said, placing her leg around his neck. “I wish I could say the same ‘bout myself...” They stood in silence for several moments. Flathoof turned his head and looked at Applejack. “Applejack, what happened to your parents?” Applejack shied away from the question, letting her hoof fall from around his neck. “It’s a long story,” she said, trying not to meet his gaze. “Ta be frank, I ain’t told nopony the whole story. My friends know just the most basic thing, that they ain’t with me no more. None o’ them know what it’s like, so I don’t feel right talkin’ ‘bout it much more’n that.” “Don’t worry about it, Applejack.” Flathoof placed his hoof on her shoulder, putting her at ease. “I wouldn’t force you to talk about something you don’t feel comfortable with.” Applejack nodded and grunted her appreciation. “Thank ya kindly. I don’t mean ta be short with ya, but—" He smiled. “You don’t need to make excuses for me. I understand.” Applejack turned back to look at him, hesitating for a moment before leaning her head into him. She laughed when he yawned loudly again. “My offer still stands, sugar. Go on, get some sleep. I’ll cover the rest o’ yer shift.” He sighed and shook his head. “Fine. You win. You and your friends have a real way of convincing me to do what you want. I’ll have to watch out for that. Who knows what you girls might convince me to do.” Applejack stopped him before he headed back into camp. “Y’all sure ya don’t need nothin’ else?” He chuckled, continuing on his way. “Eeyup, pretty sure. Thanks again, Applejack.” Applejack nodded. “D-don’t mention it, sugar.” After he left earshot, Applejack shook her head, perplexed. “Did he just say what I think he did?” That single word had deeply disturbed Applejack, and she wasn’t sure why. She’d heard that same word hundreds, perhaps thousands of times over the course of her life. Big Macintosh used it, and it was one of the only things he ever really said. Apple Bloom used it sometimes when imitating him, and Applejack used it herself every now and again. So why did it bother her now? “Applejack? Are you taking over for Flathoof?” Applejack jumped and swiveled to face the voice. “Oh! Twilight!” She let out a sigh of relief, then scratched her head. “Uh... yeah, ol’ Flathoof was gettin’ a mite tired. I don’t think he's used to late nights like this. Sent him off ta bed early.” Twilight tilted her head and gave Applejack one of her analyzing looks. “Are you alright, Applejack? You look pale.” Applejack tugged at the collar of her shirt. “What? Naw, I’m fine, sugarcube. Just... thinkin’ ‘bout somthin’, no big deal.” Her eyes darted back and forth in an attempt to think of something to change the subject, settling on the obvious. “So... what’re y’all doin’ up?” “Tick Tock wanted to show me what kind of route we’re going to be taking, using that fascinating map of hers. She’s just gathering everything up.” “Y’all seem ta be gettin’ along better with her, don’t ya?” Applejack chuckled, slapping Twilight on the back. She was just glad to get the focus off of herself. “Just a matter o’ time ‘fore y’all’re the best o’ friends.” Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. “I wouldn’t go that far yet, Applejack. I like certain aspects of her, to be sure. She’s certainly intelligent and really knows her stuff about this world and all, so I’m learning a lot that might come in handy. But, there are a few things I think she’s gravely misinformed about.” Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Such as?” “For one, that whole thing she tried to explain about the nature of magical energies?” Twilight huffed when Applejack kept a blank look on her face. “Well, it bothers me. See, I’ve done a great deal of studying, and I know where her point of view comes from, but I know she’s mistaken. I just don't know why she’s so adamant about it.” Applejack shrugged. “All that talk went over my head last time y’all were arguin’ ‘bout it. Care ta tell me what exactly don’t make sense? I don’t like seein’ ponies arguin’ ‘bout somethin’ fer no good reason. Even if I don’t rightly understand, I’m a good listener.” Twilight hesitated a moment and looked Applejack up and down, as if sizing her up. Then, she smiled and nodded. “Well, she says we all represent Law forces, right? You, me, and the other girls?” “Yeah, I got that part.” “And she said that we’re all opposed to Chaos forces, right?” “Well yeah, that makes perfect sense ta me.” Applejack laughed, stomping a hoof. “We did fight off ol’ Discord right? The... funda... fondue... aw shoot, I forgot what y’all called him.” “The fundamental representation and manifestation of the powers of Chaotic magicks?” Twilight said, eyes half-lidded. “Yeah. All that hogwash.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, think about that for a second. She’s asking us to believe that Pinkie Pie represents a force of Law, not Chaos. Our Pinkie Pie. The same Pinkie Pie that operates a Party Cannon, randomly bursts into song, eats her weight in sugar every day, and keeps rubber balls hidden all over Ponyville in case of a ‘Ball Emergency’.” Applejack chuckled and scratched her chin. “Now that y’all mention it, she did sorta enjoy all o’ Discord’s magic-y stuff. Chocolate milk rain and all.” “See? It doesn’t make sense,” Twilight said matter-of-factly. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Pinkie Pie. But you have to admit, she’s not exactly the most... orderly.” “Well I guess I can kinda see yer point, Twi, but do ya really need ta argue it so much with Tick Tock? It ain’t botherin’ nopony, right?” Twilight sighed and slumped down. “It bothers me. It’s not so much that she’s wrong, so much as she’s so sure she’s right and won’t listen to reason. She still has a thing or two to change about her attitude.” “And you still have a thing or two to learn about listening.” Twilight jumped and wheeled around. She chuckled, her voice cracking. “Oh... uh, hey there Tick Tock. H-how long have you been standing there?” Tick Tock snorted and pushed her way past Twilight and Applejack. “Long enough to know that I bloody well want to get this all over with, before you start trying to convince me I’m wrong about other fundamental world concepts. Like maybe telling me that up is down, or the moon is made of bloody cheese or something.” “Well that’s just—" Tick Tock ignored the other unicorn and turned to Applejack. “Applejack, you can get to bed now, if you’d like. Sparkle and I have matters to discuss, and we may be up a while. We’ll take over your watch.” “If y’all don't mind, I’d like ta stay. I can't sleep,” Applejack said, looking off towards the camp. “I got a few too many things on mah mind, ta be honest.” “Oh?” Twilight asked. “Like what?” “Nothin’, don’t worry ‘bout it none.” “Actually, this is good,” Twilight said, smiling and patting Applejack on the shoulder. “You’ve got better mountain climbing experience than I do. You’d probably be a better judge of what looks like a safer route.” “Well thank ya kindly, Twi,” Applejack said, chuckling and tipping her hat. “I’d be more than happy ta help.” “Good thinking, Sparkle. That experience might come in handy,” Tick Tock said. “I usually take the quickest route through, but I’m also usually by myself. Traveling as a group is a little different.” “Fantastic!” Twilight said, clapping her hooves. “Let’s get started, shall we?” Tick Tock nodded and unfurled her map out of her vest pocket, fanning it out until it was about a yard long on every side. Her hoof flittered across it, prodding corners, and tapping images, causing the image on the map to erase and redraw itself rapidly until it looked like it was a detailed drawing of a mountain range. Applejack shook her head in disbelief. “That map o’ yers always confuses me. How d’ya get it ta do all that? That some kind o’ magic?” “To put it bluntly, yes,” Tick Tock said. “It’s a rare enchanted map, quite ancient in fact.” “See? Isn’t it fascinating?” Twilight said, pointing her hoof at all the colorful displays, a huge smile on her face. “I’m not sure how many different spells were used to make it work, but there’s a lot of familiar magic here. This is better than any map I’ve ever used. Where did you get something like this, Tick Tock?” Tick Tock paused for a moment, then started tracing her hoof along the map, creating a red trail. “My predecessor gave it to me a long time ago. It was a birthday present, the last he gave me before...” She waved her hoof and gestured to her map. “Come on, you said you wanted to help, so quit bloody talking and help.” *** Rainbow snorted and pointed towards the trio of ponies that were wide awake on the other side of camp. She and Pinkie were resting just on the other side of the campfire, far enough away that they couldn’t be seen by the trio that was definitely awake. She didn’t want anypony else awake to see her. “Look at them,” she whispered to Pinkie. “They’re all completely suckered in by this stupid plan. I can’t believe we’re going along with this. We’re agreeing to go slogging through a range a volcanoes. That’s just asking for trouble.” “Tick Tock did say we could’ve objected at any time.” Pinkie yawned, snuggling tighter into Rainbow’s wing. “Kind of late to be complaining about it now.” “I’ve been against it from the start, Pinks,” Rainbow said. “I didn’t know this place was a full range of volcanoes. I thought it was just one, and that we could find a way around it or something. Just how stupid does she think we are, taking us across a dangerous place like that?” “Well of course they’re super dangerous, Dashie. They’re volcanoes,” Pinkie said, making an exploding gesture with her hooves. “But using common story logic, the adventurers must always pass over the most dangerous regions if they wish to take the shortest route, but then it ends up being longer. It’s part of the Eighth Law of Travel, only in this case the shortcut is actually shorter, but still more dangerous.” “Pinkie, this is real life, not one of your weird games.” Pinkie shrugged. “Same thing, as far as I’m concerned.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Well whatever, we’re all stuck walking along, climbing mountains covered with death and no escape plan. Twi’s gonna be busy focused on that aura spell or whatever to keep us cool, so I doubt she’d be able to get a teleport up for everypony in an emergency.” “Well, Twilight and Applejack seem like they’ve got confidence in the plan, and so does Tick Tock. She says—" “That she has plenty of experience climbing through here, yeah, I heard,” Rainbow said. She sighed and slumped into the dirt, narrowing her eyes at the green unicorn in the distance. “I still don’t trust that we’re not being led into some sort of trap, or something. I don’t know. I’m just still really suspicious of her motives.” “Well at least you’ve moved on from not liking Mister Lockwood,” Pinkie said, kneading her hoof into Rainbow’s shoulder. “H-hey, not so hard, Pinks. That spot’s still sore,” Rainbow winced. “See, Dashie? You’re super stressed,” Pinkie cooed, working her hooves into Rainbow’s knotted muscles. “You need to relax. Twilight trusts Tick Tock, so we should trust Twilight’s judgement. Right?” “I suppose.” Rainbow grunted, shifting as Pinkie began moving her hooves around to her other shoulder. “I’m just worried. Everything about this whole world just makes me feel... uneasy. I don’t know what it is.” “You’re thinking of Finagle’s Law,” Pinkie said. She rolled her eyes and sighed at Rainbow’s blank look. “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, normally in the worst way possible.” “Exactly.” Pinkie blinked. “I was joking, you weren’t supposed to—" “It’s like this,” Rainbow continued, “I’ve read enough Daring Do books to know that sooner or later something really, really bad is going to happen that just totally ruins everything.” She pointed incredulously at Pinkie. “If it wasn’t for you and Twilight, that explosion could’ve been it! Then, there was that whole thing at the Gate! We’re just barely making it through by the skin of our teeth here, Pinks, and now we’re storming into a whole mess of volcanoes.” Pinkie giggled and bopped Rainbow’s nose. “Dashie, this is real life, not one of your story books.” Rainbow stared ahead, then laughed. She tucked her wing tightly around Pinkie and ruffled her poofy mane. “Okay Pinks, you got me there. Still, I dunno, I’m just nervous about having so much faith that these ponies we just met are going to help us.” “You don’t seem to have a problem with Flathoof.” Rainbow stared off past the campfire at the large, breathing lump that was Flathoof. “Flathoof’s okay with me. He’s a decent guy. His attitude reminds me a lot of Twi’s brother, to be honest, even if he looks more like AJ’s. Both of those guys are pretty cool. “Lockwood though...” She snorted, glancing off in the opposite direction to where Lockwood was sleeping in his sleeping bag not too far from Rarity and Fluttershy. “He’s too nice. Just gives and gives and gives, doesn’t ask for anything in return? I’ve met guys like that before. You think they’re all sweet and stuff, but...” Pinkie gave Rainbow an expectant glance. “But...?” Rainbow shook her head. “Whatever. I’m just worried about something happening. I don’t trust him. I know nopony else really brought it up, but don’t you think it’s weird that he doesn’t have a problem doing illegal stuff? He just kinda brushed it off as nothing.” Pinkie glanced sideways at Rainbow, her eyes half-lidded. “Dashie, you admitted to having a fake ID. That’s exactly what he did for us.” “Yeah well...” Rainbow muttered. She paused a moment, then huffed and scratched her ear. “That’s different.” Rainbow then swished her hoof towards the three ponies talking on the opposite side of camp again. “Then there’s Tick Tock. I dunno... something about her just bothers me, I don’t know what it is.” Pinkie sighed and wrapped her hooves around Rainbow’s neck. “Look, you really just need to relax. Take it easy. Hakuna Matata. Everything will work out okay.” She nuzzled Rainbow’s neck. “I don’t like seeing you like this, Dashie. It makes me nervous...” “Sorry, Pinks. I just worry about all of you...” Rainbow leaned into Pinkie and tucked a wing more tightly around her. “You most of all.” *** Fluttershy tossed and turned, rustling along the inside of her sleeping bag and becoming more and more uncomfortable every second. She hadn’t told anypony yet, but she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since she left her cottage with Spike and Rarity to see what all the fuss was about concerning Princess Celestia’s letter to Twilight. Fluttershy sighed when she noticed that Rarity still slept beside her. She was jealous that her best friend was able to focus on sleeping at a time like this. Strange, dangerous creatures could jump out at them at any moment. The volcanoes in the distance could erupt and spew flaming rocks that would crush them all. Sure, they had ponies standing watch to protect against both of those things—she could see Twilight, Tick Tock, and Applejack just at the camp perimeter studying something—but that didn’t put her at ease at all. She needed somepony to talk to, somepony to tell her everything was going to be okay. “Um... Rarity? Are you awake?” Rarity stirred and began to mutter in her sleep. “Mmm... yes, I'll have the usual, please.” She must be dreaming. Oh... I don’t want to wake her, but... Fluttershy sighed, and prodded Rarity in the side. “Rarity? I... um... I need to talk to you.” Rarity’s mouth curled up in a smile. “Oh yes, that is simply divine. A little lower please.” Her face became tinted with a soft, pink blush. “Ah... that’s the spot.” Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “What?” She paused, then put her hoof to her mouth. “Oh. Oh dear...” Oh, she’d be so embarrassed if somepony heard her. Come on, Fluttershy. Be assertive. She poked Rarity a little harder. “Rarity... w-wake up, please?” Rarity grunted, and squealed in delight. “Mmm... such strong hooves,” she murmured, grabbing onto Fluttershy’s hoof and stroking it. “I bet you’re talented in other—" “Rarity!” “Eh?” Rarity smacked her lips together and blinked up at Fluttershy. “Fluttershy? Is it morning already?” “No,” Fluttershy peeped, hiding behind her mane. “I’m sorry Rarity, but I c-couldn’t sleep. I was hoping I could... talk to you?” “Oh?” Rarity yawned. “I don’t suppose this could wait until morning, could it? I was having the most amazing dream.” Fluttershy blushed. “I know. I... um... heard.” Rarity smiled. “Oh, you did?” She paused, then turned bright red. “Oh... you did.” She chuckled. “Eh heh... yes. Well. Um...” “It sounded like a nice dream,” Fluttershy said, grinning. “D-do you want to t-talk about—" Rarity coughed into her hoof. “Er... w-what did you want to talk about darling?” “Oh, right. Well, I was wondering... d-do you think anypony is... upset with me? For agreeing with Miss Tock about the volcanoes?” Rarity blinked, obviously surprised by the question. “Whatever do you mean? Why would you think such a thing?” Fluttershy rubbed her hooves together. “Well... do you think anypony is upset that I p-pushed for us to go along with it? I know that everypony was arguing about it at first... b-but—" “Ohh... heavens darling, I don't think you have to worry about anything like that,” Rarity laughed, patting Fluttershy on the back. “They were all just upset that Miss Tock was so forward with the issue. I think Rainbow Dash and Applejack are just surprised you of all ponies would be her advocate. Nopony could ever be upset with you, Fluttershy, not unless you went out of your way to make it so.” “I just... I want to go home, Rarity.” Fluttershy shied away into her sleeping bag. “I don’t like this place. I miss the colors and smells of home. I miss all my animal friends, my little Angel Bunny most of all.” Rarity frowned and pulled the trembling pegasus in for a hug. “We all want to go home, my dear. We all have loved ones we’re worried about. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about my dear little Opalescence. I’m worried about what my parents and sister are going through too, and my dear little Spikey Wikey of course. They must all be simply devastated. We’re all worried, dear. You’re not alone.” Fluttershy sighed and let Rarity tighten the hug. “I... I know. B-but you all seem so much more... um... accepting of things here. This place is nothing like home. It’s dirty, cruel, dangerous, gloomy, and... I j-just don't like it here at all.” “Oh... Fluttershy. You poor dear,” Rarity cooed, stroking Fluttershy’s mane. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” She placed a hoof gently on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Anything at all, you just say the word, and I’ll be there.” Fluttershy sniffed and buried her face in Rarity’s neck. “I just... I w-want to know things are g-going to be okay. That we’ll all be safe. I’m s-so worried about everything. I... I’m s-s-scared, Rarity.” Rarity smiled. “Don’t worry, darling. Everything will be just fine. After all, we all have each other here, right? And we have such knowledgeable guides with us to keep us safe.” “Well... I suppose that makes me feel a little better,” Fluttershy said. “Miss Tock does seem to know—" Rarity chuckled. “I was referring to Mister Lockwood, of course.” She winked. “He has been a most gracious traveling companion, has he not?” “Oh... well, yes,” Fluttershy said. “He’s... nice.” “I should say so. After all, these sleeping bags he provided are most comfortable, and they protect from the elements. A shame that some of them were left behind, but he did insist that you get to use one.” She coyly leaned into Fluttershy. “Wouldn’t you say that was awfully kind of him?” “He insisted you get one too, though,” Fluttershy said, shying away from Rarity. Rarity laughed. “Because I’m your friend, of course. The poor dear is nervous, I can tell. I think it’s charming, actually. Why, a mare should appreciate a little initial nervousness from a stallion.” Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “Nervous? Why would he be nervous?” “Well think about it, darling,” Rarity said, pointing her hoof out towards the sky in presentation. “You’re a beautiful young mare, considered one of the most delicate and graceful mares in all of our own Equestria. A former model, might I add? It obviously wasn’t my dress that drew Photo Finish to you, dear.” “W-wait, he’s nervous... b-because of me? B-b-but—" “Well of course he is, Fluttershy! And why not? In all the time I’ve known you, I have never once seen a stallion with enough courage to come up to you and attempt to court you. Imagine my surprise when I noticed! You, my dear, make stallions tremble at the knees.” Fluttershy blushed and hid behind her mane again. “Oh... um... I don’t know about—" “Funny how things like this work out though, is it not?” Rarity said, giving Fluttershy a teasing tap on the nose. “We had to travel across dimensions to finally meet a stallion brave enough to make a move on such a wonderful mare as yourself. It would make for a terrific romantic novel, don’t you think?” “Oh... oh d-d-dear. I h-had no idea.” “Oh I know, darling. He does such a fine job of hiding it. But, a mare with a keen eye for these sorts of things picks up on it quite quickly. The poor dear must be terrified of rejection! No wonder he isn’t so up-front about it yet. Why, I’m sure that’s the reason nopony back at home does it either, come to think of it.” “Oh... b-but, what if you’re wrong, and—" Rarity laughed. “Wrong? Oh Fluttershy, I don’t suppose you were paying much attention to certain things back in the city. Really darling, I can safely say that you two would be perfect for one another.” “W-what makes you think—" “Well for one, he’s such a sensitive individual, not unlike yourself. A little bolder than you in some respects, but that’s just the kind of companion you need. And while there aren’t many animals around for him to have much opinion of, he does care about other ponies, especially those poor foals in the slums.” “Oh... that’s right,” Fluttershy mused. “I thought that was awful nice of him. I wish there had been something we could do to help.” “And such a handsome gentlecolt too,” Rarity said, winking. “Oh... um..” Fluttershy huddled into her sleeping bag again. “I... I wasn’t l-looking that much...” Rarity exhaled. “It is a shame that we are not back at home with him. Why, I’ve been looking for a stallion with his physique to try out some male fashion lines, maybe branch out a little in my repertoire? Can you imagine him in a snappy tuxedo? Ooh, or a sleek collared vest? Oh, the possibilities. I bet he could keep me busy for weeks! If I could get him away from you, of course,” she added, playfully nudging Fluttershy in the side. Fluttershy blushed even redder. “W-well, that does sound... nice. And I’m touched that you think he likes me and all, b-but what about that other mare? Um... Keeneye, was it? They seem to h-have... something between them. I w-wouldn't want to—" Rarity chuckled into her hoof. “Oh, I assure you there is nothing going on there. Not to worry, darling. I’ll ensure everything works out between you two, or my name isn’t Rarity. After all, what could be more generous than helping my closest, dearest friend find her one true love?” She yawned. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get back to my beauty sleep. Do try to get some sleep yourself, darling.” “Oh, okay Rarity,” Fluttershy said. Rarity set her head back down on her pillow. Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief. Then, her eyes widened. “Wait, what? I didn’t ask for you to help, Rarity. I’m certain if he... oh d-don’t fall asleep...” She poked Rarity, but the unicorn had already dozed off. “Rarity? Rarity? Oh dear...” *** Nothing broke the monotonous stretch of barren desert that expanded as far as the eye could see. No trees blessed the arid sands with shade. No rocks beckoned travelers to rest. No landmarks stood as beacons of hope. Nothing. Just a vast expanse of nothing but sand, dirt, and dust. The Wastelands. While the name for the region certainly wasn’t creative, it did get the point across. Starlight Shadow marched across the inhospitable desert, her pace brisk and unfettered by exhaustion. Curaçao and Insipid were behind her, the former marching along at an even pace with Starlight, the latter bouncing along beside the former, giggling and talking a mile-a-minute. Starlight had learned to tune out the other unicorn’s incessant babbling. However, she hadn’t learned to ignore Havocwing yet. The pegasus fluttered up past the other two ponies and settled in alongside Starlight. “This is stupid,” she said, putting her hooves behind her head and kicking herself along in the air. “We’ve been traveling for two damn days, and we still haven’t caught up with those losers. How are they so far ahead of us? They didn’t get that big of a head-start.” Starlight grunted and turned to glare at the pegasus. “Havocwing, clarify for me how your dissent is of any assistance, exactly?” “Yeah Havoc, it’s, like, not all that bad,” Insipid said, picking up her pace to butt her head in between the two arguing ponies. “If we take a while, that’s just, like, more time I get to spend with Curaçao!” She turned, and circled around the aforementioned earth pony. “You’re totally perfect and junk, Curie! I’m, like, totally learning so much from you? On how to be perfect, I mean.” Curaçao sighed as Insipid nuzzled up against her, shying away just slightly. “Zut alors. I do not know what is worse: waiting to rendezvous wiz zose cretins, or ‘aving to deal wiz zee idolization. C’est la vie.” “Oooh... fancy talk! I love the fancy talk! Say la vee! Teach mwah to talk all fancy and stuff, please Curie? That would be, like, tray sweet of you.” Curaçao rolled her eyes. “Per’aps anozer time, non? We ‘ave much more pressing zings to be concerned wiz, vois-tu?” Havocwing groaned. “Yeah, like catching up with those losers! Oh man, boss, you have no idea how much I want to find those jerks and pummel the ever-living crap out of them. You know what I mean, right? Well, maybe you don’t. Pummeling isn't your thing.” Starlight snorted. “Patience, Havoc. We are certainly not far behind them now.” She flared her horn and closed her eyes for a moment. Then, without a word, she stopped walking, and the other three followed suit. She pointed off in the direction they were marching towards. “According to the information father provided us, we are merely another day and some hours’ march from our destination.” “Still, we ‘ave not seen ‘ide nor ‘air of zem so far. Surely zere should be a trail?” Curaçao asked. Starlight grunted and returned to marching, and the others fell back in step. “It is plausible they are attempting to bypass confrontation with any of the creatures out here. That grants us a crucial advantage. Those annoying arachnids are certainly not hindering our progress.” “That’s my point!” Havocwing shouted, sweeping around in front of Starlight. “We should’ve caught up by now, yeah? Are you sure we’re going the right way, boss?” Starlight stopped walking again. Her mouth curled in a scowl, her eyes narrowed, and her gaze shifted to Havocwing. “Havoc, correct me if I am mistaken, but are you questioning my sense of direction? Because it certainly sounds as though you are questioning my sense of direction.” Havocwing gulped and shied away from Starlight’s intense glare. “Uh... n-no way boss. I was just repeating something... Grayscale said! Yeah! That bucking traitor.” Starlight huffed, then turned her gaze upwards to the great-winged vulture that circled above them. “Grayscale Force! Present!” Grayscale drifted to the ground like a feather caught in stagnant air. She yawned when she landed. “You called, boss?” “Grayscale, have you been questioning my sense of direction?” Starlight asked, though her furious eyes were still directly fixed upon Havocwing. Grayscale shrugged. “However you want to get where we’re going is fine with me, boss.” “I presumed as much. That will be all, Grayscale. You may return to your duties.” Grayscale stared at Starlight for a moment, then shrugged again. “Whatever you say, boss. I guess I’ll just get back to floating around, or whatever.” She flapped her great wings once, knocking Havocwing slightly off-balance, before taking flight and twisting back up into the sky. “Now, what was it you expressed about Grayscale detesting my itinerary?” Starlight asked, stepping towards Havocwing until she and her were eye-to-eye. Havocwing shuffled her hooves. “Uh... I... er...” Starlight tilted her head and put her hoof to her ear. “Hmm? Please, enunciate more clearly. Once more?” Curaçao coughed, drawing Starlight’s attention. “If I may, ma capitaine?” she interjected. Starlight nodded for her to continue. “I do not zink zat ‘avocving was questioning you, she is merely trying to ascertain zee situation. She is une idiote after all, non?” Havocwing glowered at Curaçao, then jerked away when Starlight turned back to face her. “Uh, right. I just meant, what if they’re not taking this route? Then all of this is wasting our time, giving them a bigger lead. Right? They could have gone across Redblade.” Starlight raised an eyebrow. “They would be exceeding the thresholds of stupidity and lunacy to travel via the Redblade Mountains. No, they are moving for Goldridge Pass and the ancient Gryphon Territories beyond the mountains. It is the only logical choice. I am aware of their rampant stupidity, but father maintains that their guide, the Chronomancer, is superbly experienced. At least she would not be so dense as to direct them along that route.” Curaçao chuckled. “Oui, only a true imbecile would take zee ozer way. I know I would not want to go zere. Ah, it would ruin my perfect mane, non?” Insipid sighed as she stroked the perfectly-styled mane in question. “And it is perfect, like totally perfect. I want a mane like yours, Curie.” “Yeah, too bad all you’ve got is that mess on your head you call a mane,” Havocwing said, flicking her hoof through Insipid’s tangled curls. She tucked her hooves behind her head, her mouth curling in a cocky grin. “I’d go through Redblade if it were me.” “Zank you for proving my point, dear ‘avocving,” Curaçao said. Havocwing shot Curaçao another glare. “Because I can take the heat. Hello? I’m fireproof, you bucking idiot.” “Like, watch your mouth, Havoc,” Insipid said, lurching forward so that she and Havocwing were nose-to-nose. “Like, ponies get hurt when they start bad-mouthing Curie around me. Got it?” Havocwing snorted and pushed Insipid back. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah.” Insipid lifted a hoof, which started crackling with electricity. Havocwing took a half-step back. “You... you kept that?” She sneered, then snorted and took another half-step back. “Whatever. Stay away from me. You smell like garbage.” Curaçao rolled her eyes, but swooned. “Ah, mon chevalier en armure—my knight in shining armor.” Insipid beamed in response. “Enough, all of you,” Starlight said, stomping a hoof. “We are exhausting our precious supply of time and distance.” “I don’t know what everypony's getting all worked up for,” Velvet said, suddenly appearing in the middle of the group. Insipid and Havocwing jumped in surprise. Velvet was covered in a grimy, greenish-red goop, but was obviously still busy cleaning the stuff off of herself. She scraped a great glob of the gunk off her flank and put it in her mouth, making pleasured mumbles as she cleaned it with her tongue. “Quit doing that!” Havocwing shouted. “Gonna give me a bucking heart attack one of these days!” Velvet licked her lips. “Mmm... myocardial infarction.” “Yeah well, I... yeah! Take your... big words... and...” Havocwing took a sharp breath through her nostrils, then turned around and started off along their marching path. “Whatever, creep-job. Just stay away from me.” Velvet shrugged and turned to Starlight. “As I was saying, I don't see what the big deal is. All these buggy things we’ve been killing has made this little trip fun! So much blood... mmmm...” She licked her lips and cleaned off more of the gunk. “Ohhh, it’s so tasty.” Insipid blanched. “Like, gross. Gag me with a spoon.” Velvet brightened and turned to Insipid. “Yeah, I know, right? Gargantuan blood isn’t quite as good as pony blood. Got a spicy kick to it, tastes kind of like booze? Eh, I miss Mister Jetstream already.” She sighed and rubbed her stomach. “I should’ve rationed him a little more, huh? But pegasi wings are just so good!” Insipid pouted and rubbed her own stomach. “Can we take a break, boss?” she asked. “All this walking is making me just, like, so tired. And I’m hungry for some reason now?” Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Hungry? We dined no more than an hour ago. Why are you—" Insipid shrugged. “I dunno, like, Velvet mentioned food or something, and now I’m hungry too.” Grayscale landed lightly amidst the group. “So, basically, you want to eat ponies too? Is that what you’re saying?” “Like, where did you come from?” Insipid asked, sneering and giving Grayscale a once-over. “You never, like, talk? What’s it to you if I’m hungry and junk?” Grayscale shrugged. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were gonna try being a cannibal now, and needed the moral support. I guess if you don’t, that’s okay too. Just trying to help.” “Wait, huh?” Insipid scratched her head. “Cannibal. Cannibal... oh!” She blanched. “Like, total barf trip, ewww, no!” She turned to Starlight, her eyes as wide as dinner plates. “Booosss, Grayscale’s being totally meeean. Like, punish her or something?” “Wonderful, now you are whining as well,” Starlight muttered, holding the bridge of her nose. “I anticipated this trip grating upon my nerves. I detest my precognitive capabilities.” Insipid snorted. “Like, nuh-uh, I am totally not whining, boss. I’m complaining. Do you, like, want to hear whining?” “No!” Starlight shouted, her voice cracking. She coughed into her hoof, attempting to regain her composure. “Rather, if you insist, then I imagine that some repose may be to our benefit. Grayscale!” Grayscale saluted. “Yeah boss?” “We are assembling camp here. I am granting you the honor of primary patrol, so ‘shake a wing’, as Havocwing would say. Rouse us from our slumber in two hours, and we shall continue forging ahead. You may nap then, and rendezvous with us subsequently.” Grayscale shrugged. “I’m honored that I get to stand here motionless for a few hours while everypony else sleeps. Thanks boss. I guess.” “Excellent. Havocwing!” Starlight shouted, turning to glare at the other pegasus. Havocwing swooped over and gave her own half-hearted salute. “Yeah yeah yeah, ‘get a fire started’. What else is new?” She snorted, igniting her hooves and spreading a flame along the ground in front of her. “So stupid... taking a break right now. I ain’t even bucking tired.” “Oh moan moan moan, that’s all you ever do,” Velvet said, sticking her nose in the air. “If you really wanted to make yourself useful, you’d be a good barbeque and help me cook up these bugs for dinner. They’re not as good raw.” “I’m not your personal bucking kitchen, Red!” Havocwing shouted, wheeling around to face Velvet. Velvet snickered and loosed a cluster of bladed tendrils from her back that snaked around her. She dangled the sharp appendages in front of Havocwing’s face. “I beg to differ, Havoc. I bet your wings taste the best...” She licked her lips and sauntered towards the pegasus. “You’re so lean... and tender...” Havocwing staggered back, though she tried to maintain a fierce scowl on her face. “You stay the hell away from me and my wings, psycho. You touch me, I’ll kick your ass, you got that?” “Everypony’s gotta sleep sometime, Havoc...” Velvet said, her eyes gaining a red tint. Starlight flared her horn and grabbed the two ponies by the neck, dragging them over to her and glowering at both of them. “Enough! I grow impatient with your constant quarreling! If I am required to repeat myself again, I will forcibly separate the both of you - atom by atom. Am I clear?” The two shared nervous glances at one another, then nodded. “Yes, sir,” they said in unison. Starlight released them, then snorted and curled up in the sand. Her horn flared again, taking a great scoop of sand and morphing into a pillow before resting her head upon it and getting to sleep.