Guilty Pleasures
Chapter Two; Morning Glory
Rainbow Dash groaned, clenching her eyes shut in a fruitless effort to drift back to sleep. Instead she felt the bed beneath her shift, and she opened her eyes to have her vision filled with a familiar indigo hue. For a moment before her mind caught up she smiled, squeezing the mare in her hooves a little tighter to her chest. Twilight pressed back against her, and the illusion shattered.
“Don’t,” Twilight whispered, urgency bleeding from her voice despite the lack of volume as her hoof shot out and grabbed Rainbow’s before she could pull away.
“Twi-”
“I know but… please. Just a little while longer.” She took a slow, shuddering breath.
Rainbow sighed, but obliged the request. “The guards will get suspicious,” she said halfheartedly. Despite desperately searching for a reason to get up, she was in no hurry to find one.
“There are rumours already, probably,” Twilight admitted with a bitter snort of laughter. “They know better, though; the guards have pretty tight lips.”
“Still…” Rainbow hesitated a moment, stretching out the inevitable end as long as she could. She bit her lip anxiously. “This has to stop.”
Twilight seemed to choke on her own breath. “I know.”
“We should-”
“Can we not talk about it right now?” Twilight cut in sharply. It wasn’t quite a question.
Rainbow frowned. “You can’t put it off forever, Twilight.”
“Just… just not right now. Please.” Her voice shook with desperation, and Rainbow didn’t have the heart to say no.
“What are you in Canterlot for, anyway?”
Twilight relaxed, and Rainbow leaned forward to nuzzle into the back of her neck. “Celestia asked me to sit in on a few meetings of the Magus Council. There’s been a proposal for a new method of-... well, a new theory in magic,” she said quietly, a slight smile audible in her tone. “You’d probably find it boring, though.”
“Tell me about it,” Rainbow urged gently.
“Somepony’s proposed a potential method of sustaining short-lived thaumic particles using micro-magnets and high concentrated lasers to reduce the particle’s temperature to near absolute-zero, effectively applying a form of stasis. There’s still a lot of testing that needs to be done, but the theory is solid enough. Really the only thing that needs to be decided is the budget. But…” Twilight smirked. “You didn’t understand any of that though, did you?”
Rainbow chuckled, her breath tickling the hairs on the back of Twilight’s neck. “Not a word.”
“Why did you want me to tell you if you knew you wouldn’t get it?”
There was a noticeably long pause before Rainbow answered. “‘Cause you like talking about that stuff. Same reason you let me gush at you about my latest stunt for the ‘Bolts even though you don’t really care.”
Twilight gasped. “Dashie, of course I care-”
“It’s okay, Twi,” Rainbow cut in quickly. “I get it; flying’s my thing, not yours. But even though you don’t really get it it like I do, you still listen to me. That… that means a lot to me. I don’t understand anything about your magic or science stuff, but if you ever wanna talk about it I’ll listen.”
There was a pregnant moment of silence, and the longer it stretched the hotter Rainbow’s cheeks felt until her face was practically on fire. “Ugh, that was way too mushy. Look, what I’m saying is-”
“Thank you.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened when she heard the hitch in Twilight’s words, felt the mare shaking in her hooves. “Are… are you crying?”
Twilight hastily wiped a hoof across her eyes. “I-I’m sorry. I just…” she shuddered and clenched her eyes shut. “Rarity never lets me talk about that stuff.”
Rainbow’s stomach lurched suddenly, and she had to fight the urge to withdraw. Instead, she forced herself to hold Twilight a closer. “Do you maybe wanna... talk about it?” She hoped against hope the answer was no.
“What’s there to talk about?” Twilight asked sullenly. “Whenever I try she just… ignores me. Always says she’s listening, but I can tell. It’s… it’s different with you; I know you don’t get it, that it’s in one ear and out the other, but I know you’re at least listening to me. Rarity just… she either changes the subject or treats me like background noise while she works.”
“I’m sorry.”
Twilight scoffed. “It’s not her fault; she doesn’t get it. I can’t force her to be interested in something she isn’t. And… to be fair, I don’t like listening to her talk about her dresses.”
Chewing her lips anxiously, Rainbow mulled over her next words carefully. “Have you tried talking to her?”
“Yes, clearly.” Her words were dripping with sarcasm. “We talked it out and everything got better. That’s why I’m in bed with you right now.”
“Twi-”
“I told her about you, too,” Twilight continued aggressively. “She was perfectly happy to know I’ve been sleeping with you. Even told me to keep it up! Can you imagine that? Gosh, who could ask for a better marefriend?”
Rainbow pulled Twilight tight against her chest when she felt her trying to pull away. “Twilight, stop.”
“I-... I…” a strangled sob forced itself from the back of her throat, and she broke down crying. Rainbow just grimaced and held her, nuzzling the back of her neck and whispering comfort in her ear.
Twilight rolled over in Rainbow’s hooves so they were face to face. Their eyes met for a moment before Twilight buried her face into Rainbow’s chest. “What’s wrong with me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whimper.
“Nothin’, Twi,” Rainbow said. Her hoof ran in slow, even circled on Twilight’s back. “It’s… it’s not your fault.”
“Isn’t it?” Twilight asked sharply. “I’m the one who can’t talk to her. I’m the one who ran away. I’m the one here, with you, instead of dealing with my problems like an adult.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself.” She felt the roiling mass of guilt in her stomach before the next words even left her mouth. “It’s not like Rarity’s trying, either.” Rainbow hated herself for saying those words. Hated herself for trying to find some form of justification, but it was the truth; it wasn’t Rarity holding her marefriend while she cried, it was Rainbow. It had always been Rainbow.
Twilight didn’t respond, and the room lapsed into a silence broken only by the alicorn’s quiet sniffling. Rainbow rested her chin atop Twilight’s head, staring out the large glass door that lead out onto the bedroom’s balcony. The sun was rising higher and higher into the sky, and she was reminded of their limited time together. She sighed. “We should-”
“Did you mean it?”
“Huh?”
Twilight pulled back enough to meet Rainbow’s eyes. “What you said, last night. Did… did you mean it?”
“I…” Rainbow’s words caught in her throat. She recalled the previous night, blushing slightly at the memory, and thought for a moment. Eventually, she nodded. “I… yeah, I meant it.” Her stomach twisted in guilt. “I love you.”
Twilight’s smile eased her nausea. “I meant it, too.” She leaned in and their lips met, and the burden on Rainbow’s conscious was gone for the briefest moment. Then Twilight pulled away. “I love you too, but… we can’t keep doing this. Something has to change.”
“I know,” Rainbow said slowly. “I… I know. I’m sorry. I should have stopped this sooner, before-”
“I’m going to take some time away,” Twilight interrupted quietly. “I think it’ll be good for both of us to be apart for a little while. And… I need to figure out what to do.”
Rainbow nodded. “I get it. I’ll get out of your mane. I have some vacation time I’ve been meaning to take. Go visit my parents or something. You can… spend some time back home, with Rarity, without me around.”
“Actually… I was going to be the one leaving. I… Shiny’s been bugging me to come visit for ages, and… I don’t know if I can face Rarity right now.”
“Oh.” Rainbow’s eyes widened. “So you’re-”
Twilight’s smile was fragile. “Who better to help me than the Princess of Love, right?”
“When?”
“Actually… I booked my train ticket yesterday. I leave tomorrow.” Twilight laughed at the surprised look on Rainbow’s face. “I knew this had to stop, Rainbow. I’ve always known, I just… didn’t want to. But… when I… when I realized how I felt about you, I…” she paused, rubbing at her eyes before more tears could fall. “I need to sort myself out.”
Rainbow smiled. “I’ll miss you while you’re gone.”
“Well I’m not gone yet, and until I am…” her grin turned mischievous, and with a little help from her magic she rolled herself on top of Rainbow. She leaned down and kissed the mare greedily. Rainbow savoured the moment while it lasted. It would be coming to an end soon, and despite the sadness she felt at knowing that, she also felt the guilt in her gut calming.
Twilight sighed, checking her bags for the fourth or fifth time. Everything was still there, all according to her checklist. Just like it had been when she boarded the trian. And when she got off the train. And when she left the station. And every other time she’d checked them just to make her walk to the Crystal palace last as long as possible.
But that delay tactic had only worked so well, and now here she was; stood in front of large crystal doors with the perpetually cold wind of the north biting at her coat. The crystal pony guards regarded her curiously, but showed enough to restraint to stop from saying anything, their head focused forward in rapt attention. Even as their eyes watched the princess curiously.
Twilight took another heavy breath before lighting her horn and pushing the door open. Despite its size and weight the crystal slab swung effortlessly aside, and a wave of warmth washed over her as she stepped into the palace. The hall was filled with a shimmering light reflecting off the walls, and the walls were lined with more guards who bowed respectfully as she passed them by.
Every click of her hooves on the floor echoed in her head and seemed to drive her pulse ever higher, her breathing elevating to match. As she reached the throne room doors she was a few moments short of a full-blown panic attack. What would she say? What would Cadence say? How could she possibly explain her situation, how messy everything had become? Cadence was the Princess of Love, for pony’s sake, and she was cheating on her marefriend! She’d be disowned! Cast away! Excomunicated! And Cadence would tell Rarity and her friends would find out and-
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Count to ten. Twilight opened her eyes. Her heart still thundered in her chest and rang clear in her ears, but she wasn’t hyperventilating on the floor anymore, so that was a good sign. She looked up at the throne room doors. With a hoof she knocked, and despite how gentle she did so the sound seemed to boom in her head like a death knell.
What was about to die, she wasn’t quite sure.
The door swung open. Cadence stood behind it, not sat in her throne. Her eyes widened in surprise, then a grin formed on her lips. “Twilight!” She cried happily, and she jumped forward, ready for their traditional greeting.
“H-hey, Cadence.”
Cadence stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she regarded the mare before her curiously. Twilight could feel the scrupulous gaze searching her face, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to hide anything from her sister-in-law.
Then Cadence gasped and stepped to the side. “Come with me,” she urged gently. “We’ll talk in private.”
Rainbow Dash sighed, staring out across the serene blue skies above Ponyville. From her vantage point above the clouds, she could see for miles around. Canterlot glimmered in the distance, the Everfree sat along the horizon, and Ponyville sprawled out below. Twilight had left for the Crystal Empire that morning, and she’d opted to fly back home. She taken her vacation time from the Wonderbolts. A couple weeks spent at home would do her good. At least, that was what she told herself. She wasn’t so sure, now.
It had only been a few hours, and yet she was already missing Twilight. Already dreading seeing her friends. Or rather, one friend in particular.
She bit her lip anxiously. Pinkie already knew she was back; it was only a matter of time until the rest did, too. Only a matter of time before she saw them all.
“Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow’s ears perked instinctively as she heard her name being called. She leaned forward, checking over the side of her cloud, and her heart dropped.
“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity called again, waving a hoof.
Swallowing thickly, Rainbow weighed her options. She could pretend not to hear and fly away, but that would only delay the inevitable. She couldn’t hide from her forever. Her other option, though, was far from appetizing. Eventually, with a nervous smile, Rainbow jumped from her perch and free-fell have way to the ground before catching herself, landing in front of the pearly white unicorn with a flourish of feathers.
“Marvelous, darling,” Rarity said, a genuine smile on her lips.
“Th-thanks,” Rainbow muttered, mouth dry. She couldn’t meet Rarity’s eyes. Her chest was tight. “Wh-what’s up?”
Rarity visibly hesitated, glancing away. “Well…” she chewed her lip. “I… wanted to talk to you about something.”
“O-oh?”
“It’s… it’s about Twilight,” Rarity admitted slowly. “I… I think I’m losing her.”