D.N.A: Damn Not Again

by Chemtest


Friends

Chem looks at himself in the mirror, taking notice of everything.

His previously grey coat now shines a brilliant, pure white, like a diamond forged in the depths of the earth. His horn’s spirals are accentuated by the shine on the rest of the horn, polished and shined like a expensive leather shoe. His once unkempt mane is now kept in a more natural, better looking way. It comes together in the front with equally sized three spikes, with his horn at the end of the middle most. His eyes as well almost seem to be brighter, better commutative of his emotions. His hooves also shine the exact same, reflecting like they were made of brass. He smiles, his teeth reflecting light back at themselves.

Time Turner walks up behind him, and smiles widely, “See? Look how much better you are.”

Derpy walks out of another room, donning a yellow bow tie, “What color bow tie should he get?”

Time Turner looks back at Chem, “Hmm... how about a nice red?”

Derpy smiles, “Usually you say green.”

Turner shrugs, “It would be very odd if he showed up to the first meeting in the same color bow tie as me.”

Chem smiles, “A bow tie?”

Turner nods, “Yes, a bow tie. I like bow ties, and you are our guest, so you get a bow tie.”

Derpy hands the red bow tie over to Turner, “Here you go.”

Turner puts it on over Chem’s neck, completed with a white collar that blends perfectly into Chem’s clean coat. He smiles, “Ah, wonderful! It looks like the bow tie is just floating there, that adds to the mystery.”

Chem turns to the others, “Thank you both for your hospitality.”

Turner shakes his head, “Ah, don’t worry, we have plenty to spare. Beside, if you are going to join the group, than we need to extend a proper welcome. I expect you will quickly become friends with the others as well.”

Chem nods, “Still, thank you.”

Derpy smiles, “Speaking of the others, it is time to go.”

Turner nods, and starts to walk out of the door, “Come along, Chem, we have a private cabin in a train waiting for us!”

Chem follows after him, “We’re taking the train? I thought it would’ve been something a bit more... subtle.”

Turner shrugs, “What’s the point of being subtle when there is no one looking for you?”

Chem laughs nervously, “Well, uh, there are people looking for me.”

Turner smiles, “Nothing we need to worry about, Chem.”

They walk to the train station, and find a guard standing at the tracks. The mare spots them, and walks over to them, “Excuse me, you three, might I speak to you for a moment?”

Turner stops, “Well, whatever is the reason?”

The mare nods, “We are looking for an escaped stallion, and your friend over there matches his description.”

Derpy speak now, “And what description is that?”

The mare turns to her, “A grey unicorn stallion with unkempt, teal hair. Average size, blue eyes, and an average horn size. He is also reported as being rude, crude, and roguish.”

Chem puts all of his acting skills to use, and backs up in fake shock, “Rude? Crude? You would automatically call me that just because I have a similar color of hair? You wound me, absolutely shock me.”

The guard backs up a step in shock, “Well, uh... maybe it isn’t you?”

Derpy nods, “I mean, look at him! He is white, not grey, and his hair is very well taken care of!”

The mare sighs, “Okay, okay, it isn’t him! But I still am required to ask why he is here.”

Turner faces her, “He’s a cousin from Minotuaria, and we are taking him to see Canterlot.”

The guard nods, “Thank you. Might you have any information on the stallion we are looking for?”

Chem comes up with something before the other two, “I think I saw a stallion who looked a lot like me in town last night. From what I saw, he crawled into a dumpster and didn’t come back out for five minutes.”

The guard smiles, “Thank you for the information, sir. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. Have a nice day.”

Turner smiles back, “Good luck catching that stallion.”

They all climb onto the train.

Turner faces Chem as they sit down for the trip, “What did I tell you? Nothing to worry about.”

———

The group move into a room in the middle of the mansion, and they see the others have already arrived.

Fancy Pants smiles, “Ah, Turner, Derpy, it’s wonderful to see you both again!”

Tuner smiles back, “It’s been a long month at the clock shop.”

Fancy Pants looks at the other present, “Oh, and who’s this?”

Chem smiles, “I am Chem Patton, but please call me Chem.”

Fancy Pants nods, “Well met, Chem. I am Fancy Pants, owner of this mansion, and noble.”

The others all take turns introducing themselves, starting with another white stallion, “I am Prince Blueblood, but please don’t act like I’m not a normal pony.”

The small green and purple reptile speaks next, “I’m Spike, the dragon, nice to meet you, dude.”

The only other mare at the table speaks up, “And I am Fleur De Lis, although please call me Fleur. I’m wife to Fancy Pants.”

Chem smiles, and takes a seat at the table. He nods, “Well, I was told about your group. Smart, powerful, influential, and willing to do something.”

Fancy Pants nods, “Well, I believe that might describe us, yes.”

Blueblood speaks up, “Although we cannot do much with any of it.”

Fleur also speaks, “We have yet to really come up with a working plan.”

Turner shrugs, “I’ve tried my best, but it would be very hard, and require someone very brave to do anything.”

Derpy speaks last, “We don’t have anypony leading us, and none of us are brave enough to try anything.”

Chem nods, “Understandable. You are all frightened of what Celestia will do if she finds out about you.”

Spike nods, “Well, yeah, basically. I don’t want Twilight to chew my ear off about this.”

Chem smiles, “And that is the problem, you are thinking too much of what might happen. Here’s what I say, ponies.” He looks at all of them as they lean in, “Fuck the consequences, and to hell with the ‘if’ of anything. Realize what we are fighting for here, ponies! We are not fighting just for ourselves, but for stallions as a whole, present and future! So why the hell should we care what happens to us? We should move in spite of the consequences, in spite of the ‘if’, and instead look for the ‘will’.”

Spike nods, “You know, it sounds good, but we would need a plan.”

Chem nods, “Correct, Spike.” He smiles, “And I have just come up with one. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare your throat singing.”