The sight of an army marching on Canterlot (a worryingly familiar scene these days) was usually taken as a bad omen by its citizens. Thus, none were too pleased to see the incoming column of swine kitted out for heavy combat.
Some ponies thought they might be Storm King reinforcements. Others worried that it was a separate set of invaders ready to drop them from the frying pan into the fire. And a few ponies, those who spotted the regiment carrying an enormous cooking pot and other culinary tools, worried about fires and frying pans in a much more literal sense.
But they found their worries dashed when they saw who lead the column. The titanic boar was a living nightmare of raw muscle, to be sure, but his accompaniment made their hearts light. The Bearers of the Elements, who marched alongside the titan with unmatched expressions of stalwart determination, left no doubt in the civilians' minds that these were liberators and not further oppressors.
There was no grand plan of attack. No two lines of forces opposing each other across a plain. The moment the first swine warrior entered within a certain range of the city, the golems attacked the intruders as their magical programming instructed.
They clashed at the gate, but the fight quickly spread across the city as golems came out in force and ponies ducked into their houses, occasionally shooting a helpful spell or two from the safety of their windows. The golems were large bulky things, but then again so were the swine. The battle might have been evenly weighted, however not all golems are made the same. For example, if one expects to use golems to fight ponies, the standard build is to have moderate physical defense and a high degree of magical nullification. This is not an advisable tactic for use against Swinefolk who, unlike ponies, are much more prone to charging at their opponents at high speed instead of shooting them with magic.
The Storm King could easily hear the battle from his throne room. He shifted and tried to put on an imposing air from atop his throne made of petrified alicorns (a difficult task as no matter how he sat or arranged the pieces there always seemed to be a stray horn or wing poking him). He didn't know who was attacking, but it didn't matter. The golems would self-repair given time, so his forces were near inexhaustible. He had known someone would come sooner or later and in due time one of them would reach where he now sat waiting in order to challenge him. But with his unmatched, unparalleled genius, he had a plan ready for every possible contingency.
Before he could ruminate further, the door burst open in a hurricane of splinters and shattered metalwork.
A smile crawled across the Storm King's face as he saw his visitor. A swine. A far from likely opponent, but an easy foe to deal with. He wasn't even going to have to fight!
The towering tusked king in gleaming armor stepped across the threshold of the throne room. "I am King Napoleon von Hammeister, third of my name. Ruler of the sovereign nation of Razorbackistan. In the name of Equestria and its displaced princess, I have come to remove the usurper from his stolen throne. Yield now, or be cast down by force."
The Storm King smiled. This would be easy. All conversations are negotiations; you just had to know the right words. "The Mercenary King. What a pleasure to have you. I'm familiar with your work."
"Then you know what will happen if you resist."
"Let's not be hasty now. We're both reasonable gentlecreatures. I'm sure between the two of us we can come to an... arrangement."
King Napoleon stopped. "Go on."
The line had been baited. "Your army is formidable, I will grant you that. So is mine. But while my soldiers are endlessly loyal, you and yours are mercenaries, correct? You work for the highest bidder."
"You speak the truth."
"Hear my offer: A merger. Add your forces to mine and I will pay you one, no, two hundred gold pieces per able-bodied warrior." He took a sack of coins from behind the throne and held it forward. Not nearly the offered amount, but enough to show he was serious. Now all the thickheaded oaf had to do was accept and-
Much to the Storm King's shock, the boar laughed. Laughed right in his face! "Your gold means nothing to me, pretender king. We pave our streets with it! You cannot match what we've been promised.
Coins spilled across the floor as the bag dropped from his hand in shock. Impossible! The swinemen were supposed to be the epitome of greed! Literal pigs who would do anything for money!
"I'll make it three hundred. Five!"
Napoleon stepped forward, kicking the spilled coins aside. "Keep it. The Equestrian princess has offered us something far more valuable. Now take up your arms... or I'll be taking yours off!"
Twilight arrived well after the kingly battle had ended. The remaining golems all deactivating at once had been a pretty obvious clue that the fight was over. The fractured marble and shattered windows of the throne room spoke volumes of a great battle, but while King Napoleon looked like he'd barely broken a sweat, the Storm King looked like he'd gone ten rounds with an actual storm.
He lay on the floor, his body bruised and his armor fractured, as a circle of spear-bearers made sure he didn't try anything suspicious.
They parted slightly to allow her to pass through, calm and collected as anything, now that she knew everyone was safe.
"You," he snarled. "I should have known this was your meddling. But how? How could you have escaped your imprisonment? It was perfect! My plan was perfect! It's not possible!"
She tittered good-naturedly. "Oh Storm King, you just don't see it do you?" She stepped forward and placed a hoof under his chin, forcing the toppled tyrant to look up to meet her gaze. He scowled, but could do nothing against the power move with a dozen spears at his throat. "You see, what you don't understand is the same thing that Tirek didn't understand. What Starlight didn't understand. And Sombra. And Chrysalis. Even Discord back in the day. It's what all you two-bit villains and wannabe conquerors don't understand."
She allowed a friendly expression to grace her face, mimicking Celestia's serene smile with a twinkle of mirth behind the eyes. "That no matter how powerful your sorcery, how big your army, how complex your stratagems, none of it holds a candle to the magic of fried-shrimp and ham-money."