After Mandible excused himself to the baker's wife and started pulling the pink idiot along the windy Manehattan street, he couldn't help but curse under his breath. In his hurry to get out of there, he had made a mistake – if this 'Party Popper' didn't blow their cover with her atrocious choice of pony to shift into, he might have just done it himself by leaving the baker tied up down in that basement.
Standard protocol was to use a mind-numbing changeling spell just before releasing the victim, to make sure they would wake up remembering nothing about why they had been asleep in the first place. Now the baker could wake up at any time and tell his wife exactly what had happened – that somepony appearing to be her had brought him down there and used some kind of eye magic to put him to sleep.
Ever since the disastrous invasion of Canterlot a few years back, the general public of Equestria seemed more widely aware of changelings than they had been before, so they would very likely figure out what had happened soon enough. Too soon.
Which was another reason to get the buzz out of the city. He just hoped Frons would listen.
He was distracted from his thoughts by the sound of bouncing hooves next to him. Looking to his left, 'Party Popper' was jumping twice her height into the air for each pony length she moved forwards.
"Stop that," Mandible hissed. "Are you trying to draw attention to us?"
"Stop what?" the infuriating mare asked, sounding like innocence incarnate.
Mandible checked to make sure nopony was within earshot. The howling winds helped, both drowning out their words and keeping would-be pedestrians indoors. "We're trying to get to the meeting point without anypony noticing you look like Pinkie Pie. That would be a buzz of a lot easier if you weren't acting in character in all the most visible ways."
"Meeting point?" she asked, still bouncing. "I thought you said we were leaving the city?"
"Oh, good, you have a little bit of a brain. Yeah, we are, as soon as we can, but first we have to meet up with the rest of my squad. I was just about to leave when you walked into the bakery, so we don't have too much time."
"Ohh. Okay!"
At least she was willing to go along with him. As infuriating as everything else about this situation was, he hadn't had any trouble on that front. Though thinking about that gave him an intense urge to find some wood to knock on.
"So what's your story, anyway?" Mandible asked. He wished he didn't need to know. "What are you doing in Manehattan? We were told we'd be the only changelings here."
"Oh, I'm just a friendly baker and party pony from Ponyville."
"Out of character, 'Party Popper'!" he snapped. "Speaking of which, what's your real name? I don't want to keep calling you by that stupid pony name when we meet up with the squad."
She seemed to consider for a moment. "I thought you already knew, silly! My real name is Pinkie Pie! Or it used to be."
Mandible groaned. "Look, if you're not going to tell me your name, I'm just going to make one up for you. And trust me, you really don't want me making up a name for you." He had no problem with making up good changeling names, but he wouldn't. Not for this idiot.
"Making up names is fun! If I ever have a daughter I'm naming her Raspberry Pie. My second daughter would be Blueberry Pie, because she'd obviously be blue, and then my third daughter could be Cherry Pie, because cherries are deeeeelicious…"
Mandible grit his teeth and tried to tune her ramblings out as they walked.
He failed.
By the time they reached the alleyway that would serve as a meeting point for squad 833, Party Popper was naming her future great-grandchildren – all 152 of them, with increasingly irritating pony names – and Mandible had a splitting headache.
"About time the two of you showed up." The voice came from a cutesy pegasus filly, but Mandible knew better. Gena's impatient expression didn't match the youthful, innocent face.
"Mandible, Clypeus," the lanky unicorn stallion who had to be Frons greeted.
Labrum, disguised as an overweight earth pony stallion, didn't bother with greetings. "I have to say I didn't take either of you for the type to shift against gender without orders from the Queen."
"Actually, this isn't Clypeus," Mandible explained as he dropped his disguise. "Squad 833, meet Proboscis." At the curious look the pink changeling gave him, he added, "Told you I'd do it."
"Proboscis?" Frons asked, prompting an elaboration. He dropped his disguise, revealing his true form. He was slightly taller than Mandible, but otherwise they looked nearly identical. Most changelings did.
"You found a stray?" Gena asked, growing to twice her previous size as the filly disappeared in a flash of green. Labrum followed suit.
"But I'm not even a dog!" Proboscis protested.
"Dogs aren't the only…" Mandible began, but decided it wasn't worth it. He dropped the subject and turned to the others. "Anyway, she ran right into the bakery I had infiltrated, looking like buzzing Pinkie Pie of all ponies. Says she's stuck like this. I brought her along so we can get her to the Queen before somepony notices there's a Pinkie Pie in both Canterlot and Manehattan."
Frons seemed to consider that. "That does seem like the best course of action."
Mandible fought not to breathe a sigh of relief. If he could get them to leave as soon as possible just because of Proboscis, he wouldn't have to tell Frons about the baker.
"Wait," Labrum said, putting Mandible right back on edge, "if neither of you are Clypeus, where is he?"
"Good question," Gena said.
"He should've been here by now," Frons said, looking more genuinely worried than Gena and Labrum put together, almost as though he cared about the members of his squad beyond the mission's success. It was sickening. "Does anypony know who Clypeus was going to impersonate, in case we need to stage a rescue mission?"
Great. A rescue mission was the last thing Mandible needed right now.
…or at least that was what he thought until he realized he could no longer hear the bouncing of pony hooves next to him. He turned around and saw a pink tail disappear around the corner.
Oh no, you're not leaving us n--
"HEY, EVERYPONY!!" came a shrill and unbelievably loud shout from the street.
Mandible took the first pegasus form that came to mind, and flew quickly to the corner. He had to look all over the street before he spotted her hanging upside-down from the top of a lamppost.
She was shouting at the top of her lungs: "HAS ANYPONY SEEN A CHANGELING NAMED, UH, CLIPPER BUS?! IF YOU SEE HIM, TELL HIM MY CHANGELING FRIENDS OVER HERE ARE LOOKING FOR HIM! THANK YOU!"
As the infernal pink one rode the lamppost down like a fire station pole, cheerily ignoring the panicking crowd and approaching street guards, Mandible covered his face with his hooves and groaned.