Raison D'ĂȘtre

by mechafone


48 - You're Not A Monster

Foggy Nights ran. Bolts of lightning sailed past him, lighting up the night as wooden structures burst into splinters. He jumped into the nearest warehouse and hid himself quickly behind some crates and waited, his horn aglow with an azure light. After a moment, the dark pegasus entered the building, his wings blazing with dark lightning. The currents were nearly black, with blue outlining, a truly fearsome change from the usual neon blue light. Foggy closed his eyes while he had a chance to hide and work his magic.

He didn't have long when he felt something on his body, like a shock from a metal doorknob after building up static on the carpet. He opened his eyes and was horrified to see a web-like structure touching him, also spreading out around the room. It felt harmless, but as Foggy quickly realized, it was a way to find him. The unicorn jumped from his position just as the web light up in explosive light, barely missing him as the entire warehouse lit up in smoke and the sounds of dozens of wild threads of electricity echoed in the large room.

Foggy jumped out from his hiding spot, putting himself directly in the beserk pegasi's line of sight. Those wings raised, preparing to finish him, when Foggy pointed beyond his attacker and laughed. "Hold on, soldier. I've got your girl." To prove his point, a petite body rammed into the dark pegasus from behind, then landed in front of him. It was indeed Sapphire Snow, her eyes glazed over with the same azure light on Foggy's horn. "If you don't want her to get hurt, then you better settle down, kid. I'll make her snap her neck so fast. All it takes is a little flick of the neck..."

Spark stared at the unicorn that dared to threaten the mare he loved. He could feel a terrible, terrible pressure building in his chest, like he was on fire. He let out a low, gutteral growl, and he started to see black as gobs of corrupted energy began to seep from his eyes. It was at that moment that the skylight caved in. Glass fell from the ceiling as a tall figure fell to the ground, landing lightly on two heavily clawed feet. It was a creature that Foggy Nights had never seen before, some kind of bipedal bird...thing.

He wasn't about to be bullied into backing off, though. He was about to talk down to the creature when it let out a shriek. A sound more horrible than anything he'd ever heard assaulted his ears. His mind scrambled for some semblance of cognitive function, but his control began to slip, and finally he dropped the mind control spell he had on the white pegasus mare and he turned and ran.

Spark let out a feral shout and raised his wings at Foggy Nights. Before he could get a lock on him though, Sohl jumped into his line of view and screamed. It wasn't a deadly attack, just enough to get his attention. He winced and backed away from her, then turned his rage on her. "What are you doing? He's a monster! He has to be punished!"

The corrupted energy started to writhe about in the air. Spark's energy was darkness incarnate as it loomed over Sohl. If she was going to stand in his way, then he'd punish her, too.

Her next words caught him completely off-guard. "You're not a monster!"

Spark stared at her. Had he heard right? "Y...what? I said he's a monster!"

Sohl snarled and grabbed Spark with her right foot, the talons slipping around his torso easily as she picked him up and drew him closer to her. "You're not listening to me, you idiot! I said, 'you're not a monster'!"

Spark's resolve to kill was slowly waning as Sohl's words were confusing, and yet somehow...it stung. It stung in his eyes. "...Stop saying that."

"Spark...Orea sensed you were in danger. She came to me, and...she did something. I don't know what the hell it was, but I saw you. I saw all of you, you little idiot." Sohl's voice was soft and gentle now. She set Spark Storm onto his hooves and knelt down in front of him as she rested a clawed hand against his cheek and looked into his eyes.

"What?" Spark could feel something inside himself, something that was burning him painfully, something in his head. "S-stop, please..." he tried to ease himself away from her, but his resolve was failing. Something in her words, something in her eyes was burning him, and it felt like it would take something important away if she didn't stop.

"When Orea found me, she bit me, the little bitch. But when she did, it was like...I knew you. The real you, the you you don't even show your girlfriend over there. So I'll say it again, Spark Storm. You're not a monster."

Spark shook his head as the burning intensified. Tears filled his vision as the black energy in his wings began to dissipate, and the black substance seeping from his eyes began to shine, brighter and brighter until the blackness was gone and all that was left was a gentle and pure light. Spark trembled with emotion, his head held low. Sohl had somehow stumbled upon his greatest secret: A terrible guilt that had lived inside him since he discovered his talent.

While Spark had told the villagers of Ponyville to lay the blame on him, which they readily did, Spark believed from the start that it was his fault that his mother died in that fire. He believed it when he called himself a monster. He constantly surrounded himself with others that were cast out because he believed there would never be anything else for him. Despite his many friends, despite his relationship with Sapphire Snow, he still believed that he didn't deserve any of it because he was a monster.

"...Yes I am." Spark kept his eyes closed as tears spilled from them. He wanted to hide, he wanted to crawl into a hole and just stay there forever. Having his greatest secret exposed like this was beyond describing. The pain of being displayed like this was more than he was ever ready for, and he wanted it to stop.

Sohl reached down and ran a clawed hand through his mane, then made to draw him closer to her. He let out a yell and lashed out, hitting her square in the face. She spat a bit of blood down on the ground, then reached down and wrapped her arms around him, drawing him to her chest. "Sshhh..." she whispered, even as she felt his teeth sink into her shoulder. Her grasp on him tightened, her hands twitching with pain, but she still held him, gently stroking his back.

"Spark, you're not a monster, you idiot. You never were, you never will be. And I should know, I really am a monster. So cut it out with the emo crap, you're not like this. And I should know. Orea knows who you are, gods know how she knows. But I know you as well as she does, not that I wanted to. I've seen the things you've done. I've seen the thoughts in your head when you're alone. You're so far from being a monster, kid."

Spark buried his face into Sohl's shoulder, her blood dripping down a bit into his eyes. With no more room for escape, while being held so gingerly like his mother used to hold him, Spark did the only thing that was left to do: He bawled like a child, long and hard and loud, his whole body wracking with sobs.


Sapphire Snow woke up with the most terrible headache. It felt like she had the most intense head cold she'd ever had, a terrible pressure on her brain. After some time, the pain wore off. It was then that she could make out a sound. It was a sound unlike any other, something she would recognize anywhere: It was the sound of a broken heart, broken from the loss of something truly precious, precious like family. Before she could even make out the voice, she felt her eyes start to tear up at the intense sound of pain and loss.

Sitting up carefully, she noticed she was in a new place. With no idea how she'd gotten here, she tried to think back, but it was difficult with that horrible wailing. She stood as quietly as she could and her eyes fell on a scene that broke her heart, both with anger, and with pity. Why was her boyfriend in Sohl's arms? Why was he crying like a child, why-

She practically swatted with fury at the tap on her back, only to see Celestia standing at her side. The Princess gave Sapphire a reproachful look. She turned to face Sapphire, her eyes begging for silence. Sapphire looked back to Sohl, then to Celestia, as if begging for some kind of answer.

"Sapphire, Spark Storm has secrets he's kept from you. But you've kept secrets from him as well, haven't you?" the Princess said in a hushed voice. Tears of frustration slipped down Sapphire's cheeks. Tonight had been one rollercoaster of a disaster, one right after the other. It just kept getting worse, and...

She let out a little sob as she felt Celestia nuzzle her gently, almost maternally. Remembering what the young mare had told her earlier, Celestia made to back off, when Sapphire grabbed Celestia on either side of her head and hugged it. Celestia closed her eyes and accepted the embrace. After a moment, she eased away from Sapphire and slipped a hoof around her back, starting to guide her out of the warehouse. "Come, Sapphire. It's been a long terrible night for all of us. I think it would be best if you gave Spark some space tonight."


Spark Storm opened his eyes as he felt cool air whipping around his face. It took him a moment to realize that he was being carried like a sack of potatoes in one very big claw. He looked up, and caught Sohl's attention. Without another word the harpy flipped him easily into the air. She lifted herself to meet him as he plopped down on her back. The two flew slowly through the air, a thick silence between them.

Spark glanced down at Sohl's left shoulder, and instantly noticed the deep teeth marks, the blood having dried some time ago. He reached down and lightly brushed a hoof over the wound. "Don't worry about it." Sohl said. She didn't need nymph telepathy to tell what he was thinking. "It's uh...I dunno."

"It's a battle scar." Spark said. Sohl glanced back at her passenger, and laughed. "That's a pretty good way of putting it. You were flailing around like a little bitch back there."

Spark frowned indignantly at that. "I beg your pardon. I hit you with that right hook exactly like I meant to."

Sohl made a noncommital grunt and pressed at her fangs with her tongue. Did he loosen one? After a moment she said, "I guess that was a pretty good hit. For a pony in the thralls of panic."

Spark nearly pouted in protest, until he realized something. What did he get so close and personal with Sohl? And with that, the memories of the last twenty minutes caught up with him. "...Sohl, uh...wh-"

"We're going back to your place to see Orea." Sohl sighed as she glided through the air towards the palace. "You know, it's kinda stupid being in your head. I don't like sharing my thoughts."

Spark rolled his eyes heavenward as he laid down on her back to get comfortable. "Whatever Orea did, it only went one way. I don't know what you're thinking."

Sohl made a soft murmuring noise in her throat and looked back at Spark, a flirtatious look in her eyes. "You're a little young for me, kiddo, but thanks for getting my butt warm."

Spark nearly fell from Sohl's back as he shot to his hooves, a furious blush on his face. "Geez, Sohl! Now I'm really glad you're not in my head!"

Sohl laughed as she flapped her wings, gaining some altitude to climb up to the Royal Gardens. "You can sit down, I was just kidding."

"I'll stand, thanks."


Sohl straightened out vertically to land on her feet in the gardens, dropping Spark sharply onto his butt. He got up and grumbled something under his breath, then began to look around for Orea.

Sohl looked around the gardens slowly, but she wasn't looking for Orea. The Princess had told her to stay away from Canterlot, and especially to stay away from the castle, and yet here she was. She was half expecting the Princess to storm outside in a rage and teleport her back to White Tails Woods, or something like that. A soft sob caught her attention, but it confused her. The sound came from right in front of her, and yet...Oh no. No no no, no. No, she thought in a panic.

"Ugh...Spark, your little brat's in my head."

Spark's eyes widened as he faced the harpy, who looked extremely uncomfortable. "She's in my head, too. I thought it was just me."

"Well it's not! This is so stupid! Kid, come out here!" Sohl took off into the air before being hauled back down to the ground as Spark latched onto her legs.

"Knock it off! We're not going to find her by getting pissed at her." Spark found himself squeezed inbetween Sohl's talons as she came back down to the ground and shoved to the ground and held under her weight as she leaned over and glared at him angrily.

"She's in my head, Spark, I do not like sharing my headspace!"

"Barely room in there for one, eh?" He said, grinning at her cheekily.

"...Did you just insult me?"

Before the situation could escalate further, movement caught the eyes of the bickering friends as Orea made herself known. She stepped out from behind one of the trees, looking forlorn and upset. She sat down on her haunches and lowered her head, tears falling from her eyes. Spark stood up as Sohl stepped towards her, intent on giving the nymph a piece of her mind, but...Ugh. I can't stay mad at her. She's so pitiful, the harpy thought to herself.

I am sorry for intruding. Sohl nearly jumped at the nymph's voice in her head. Spark stepped closer, his eyes wide with wonder. "Sohl, you heard that?"

"Of course I did!" She turned, nearly screeching at him, her face a picture of annoyance. "Harpies are not telepathic creatures, Spark, this is extremely annoying!"

Spark frowned before looking back at Orea. A healthy-looking patch of moss was growing at her feet, induced by her tears. He stepped forward slowly and wrapped a foreleg around her, drawing her into a hug. "Orea, why are you so sad? Don't you know you saved us back there by getting Sohl?" A grumble from Sohl was ignored.

I was afraid. I thought that by revealing what I know about you, you would abandon me...father. Spark felt a pinch in his heart at the title she used for him. It was cute, but...Wait a minute. If she knows everything about me, then am I really...

Remembering that Orea could read his mind, or at least sense certain things, he looked down at her expectantly with wide eyes. She returned his gaze calmly, then reached up to rest her hooves on his chest and stood up so their faces were closer. ...Yes. I am born from you.

Spark stared down at Orea dumbly for a moment before her words hit him. Father. I'm a father. I'm...father. Father. FATHER. He repeated that word in his head, his thoughts becoming louder and more panicked. Orea gasped and closed her eyes, his thoughts becoming loud in her head. As it did, though, her thoughts were transmitted to Sohl, who immediately smacked Spark upside the head.

"Stop freaking out! You're freaking me out!"

"I have every right to freak out!" Spark yelled at the harpy, rubbing his head where she'd smacked him. Hard.

Spark sighed and looked down at Orea, who by this point looked like she wanted to cry again. He reached down with a hoof and held her chin up. "Hey. Don't cry, I...I don't mind being your dad. I just don't get it, I mean...I didn't..." he looked between the two beside him, blushing brightly. "...I didn't "pollinate" your mom or anything, so, I guess what I'm trying to say, is how did you come from me?"

I was born from your life energy. Nymphs won't grow unless they are in the ground, but your life gave me life. Thus, I am from you. Spark arched a brow and looked at Sohl for confirmation. "Did you understand that? 'Cause I don't get it."

Sohl shrugged, then thought for a moment. "...I dunno. You fed her or something, and she grew from whatever you fed her."

"But did I didn't - I don't even know how she came home with me! Orea, I never saw your mom give you to me. Where...Did she hide you as a seed, or something? Did she put a seed..." he swallowed hard, "...in me?" Sohl let out a snorting laugh, then fell over, her laughter echoing through the gardens.

Orea shook her head and without a thought to either or them reached up and brushed one of her grassy-tipped hooves through Spark's mane. As she drew her hoof away, a thin, translucent line of pure white light was drawn from him. Sohl and Spark watched wide-eyed as it disappeared into Orea's hoof. Suddenly, as if realizing what she had done. She hunched down, her tail drawing around herself as she hid her face in her hooves.

Forgive me! I did not mean to drink of your essence again! Spark watched Orea for a moment before reaching up and running a hoof through his mane. He didn't feel any different. He looked at Sohl, who seemed to share the same thought. She was born by feeding on whatever that light was? His essence or whatever? They both shrugged before they looked down at Orea.

Before Spark could attempt to comfort Orea, Sohl reached down and gently wrapped her arms around the little nymph and drew her into her arms, and cradled her against her chest. Orea looked up at the harpy, her big eyes full of questions. Sohl wordlessly brushed her clawed fingers through Orea's mane, a rare loving look in the harpy's eyes.

"It's fine, kid. It's fine because your 'dad' loves you. And...well, maybe I love you too. A little. You're in my head now, I might as well try to get used to it." Sohl reached out with a leg and brought Spark in close for a hug, but pressed one of her claws to his throat and pulled his face in even closer, a dangerous look in her eye. "And your dad ever mentions this again, I'll rip his fucking throat out."

Spark stared right back into Sohl's eyes. With all the blood and battles he'd seen in the last three years alone, he wasn't easily intimidated. Still, he had great respect for the harpy, and he knew that she was going against everything her nature stood for by being this trusting and affectionate. "Point taken." He said, and reached up to brush a hoof through Orea's mane, a more natural smile spreading over his face. "And she's right, Orea. It's fine. And I do love you."

Orea smiled happily, for the first time in her short existence feeling completely accepted and loved. She fell asleep in Sohl's arms, surrounded by her new friend and her father.