//------------------------------// // Envy // Story: The Black Wish of Silver Letter // by Silver Letter //------------------------------// The sunlight of summer filtered through the window into Silver’s little apartment. Silver placed another train on the shelf. Then another. He had hundreds now, filling every last nook and wedged carefully into place. Nearly every type of Equestrian locomotive sat in pristine condition. The newest train from Misty’s Grand Designer’s line cost him 1000 bits. When the mail came the day after, Silver knew that he had spent the last of his rent money. He bit his hoof until it chipped. What was he going to do? Things had been getting worse for a while and, bit by bit, Silver had been cutting away at his savings. A train here. A train there. Misty loved pictures of his collection and always asked to see more of what Silver could design for her company. Silver thought that collecting brought the two of them closer through not only the physical distance but anything mental too. Yet, Silver had doubts. The conversations always turned towards what Silver could do for her. Usually friendships were “give and take”, not just about taking. Silver couldn’t break that thread and end “Misty”. Things had gone too far, even though the black stone ceased to be sunny. A glint of green like that of poison ivy winked like a gem in its depths. The emotions hastened Silver’s heart. He wanted more. He wanted anything his hooves could grasp. A vacation hurt more than Silver ever realized. Last week, one of his bosses walked in on him using company time to build a train which wasn’t part of their line. Luckily, they didn’t fire him on the spot, but merely suspended him. The bosses would contact him when they wanted him back. Who knew how long that could be? Each day away from his purpose was torturous. The rent problem gnawed at his mind badly enough but with the rent cut as it was, a crisis was looming near. Silver sometimes spent his free time walking alone along the avenues, looking into the shops like he was a foal again. Only now, the urge to go in and buy had to be suppressed. She would love that toy, Silver thought. I wish I could show her how much I care. The store still had those old train magazines for sale. Silver remembered reading about Misty for the first time. In one of those very stores, Silver flipped through the glossy pages of train after train. A young filly had her photograph on one of the covers. Turned out that she was the daughter of a wealthy pony who owned a toy company. The story was about Misty and her best friend. Rich pony and poor pony. Unicorn and Earth pony. The image of the girls hugging had stuck in his mind. Silver had never hugged a pony like that with such love, tighter than the strongest bond. When he touched the glass stone again, pain flashed in Silver’s brain. He saw the two fillies as adults, meeting, hugging, living a life so strange to him. There was no doubt that what the stone showed him was real. The angst gripping his heart tightened. Somepony knocked on the door hard. It could only be the landlord. The solution came to him after his stroll down the road. The magazines held the key all along. The collection he amassed was the best in all of Equestria. After sending letters to editors in city after city, a response came. A magazine wanted to showcase the staggering collection of Silver Letter for toy fans of all ages to enjoy. The payment would cover his rent if only barely. At least things would get to normal or so Silver rationalized. Silver took his own meticulous photographs of the collection that took thousands of bits over the years. Even the junk trains from the magazines had their place. An amusing step in the process. Right on time, the magazine photographer arrived. What was scheduled to take half an hour dragged on all afternoon. When the guy left, Silver didn’t want to even think about another train. As silly as it sounded, even one other pony in the room felt like too many. After so many years of judgment, everything was changing. The air felt heavy. Silver decided to go out for a bit. Trotting outside, Silver veered off the sidewalk into a city park. He sat near a statue and watched ponies go forth in their busy lives. Little hooves stepped towards him. The colt, Nate, plopped down on the cold stone. “Long time, Silver,” he said with some sarcasm. “Oh, Celestia. I had forgotten…” Indeed, he had. Silver promised the colt that he would be there for the public science fair the school was hosting for the neighborhood. Instead, while it was going on, he was hearing the dull clicks of a camera. The colt shrugged. “It’s alright. Don’t beat yourself up.” He pulled out a trophy and held it up for Silver to see. “Is that so? The spider won after all?” Silver said, using his own magic to hold the trophy closer to his sight. Then, the words on the trophy became clear. MANEHATTAN PUBLIC SCHOOL SCIENCE FAIR: SECOND PLACE. “Oh, I wish I could have done something…” “What could you have done? One look at the spider and one of the judges couldn’t climb the walls faster. At least we got a good laugh. I guess it soured her opinion of my robot.” Silver smiled at hearing the colt’s stubborn determination then ruffled his soft mane playfully. The colt pushed Silver’s hoof away while readjusting his hoodie. “In a way, you won something, even if wasn’t a trophy,” Silver said. “What? Embarrassment? I got plenty of that.” “No. A life lesson. Life just isn’t fair. Better learn that now before it is too late. You just can’t get everything in life, no matter how hard you try.” A few weeks later, Silver wrapped the last of his collection in bubble wrap and paper. He placed them like glass into shipping boxes before using his magic to suspend them in the air while he went downstairs. Before long, the apartment was empty. In the end, Silver succumbed. That money he got from the magazine all went to train tickets to the convention coming up again. A year had already passed by. The choice was between rent and that ticket. Rent lost. Silver gazed at the little hole that he called home for so long. He would say goodbye to it all. He would even look behind at the city itself and wonder where his life would be headed next. He pulled his wagon forward. Soon, the wheels stopped beside those old houses where the colt lived. Silver had never come during the morning before. Now that he had lost his job, it simply didn’t matter anymore. For what it was worth, he wanted to give some kind of parting words. Silver knocked and held his breath, not really knowing what to say. A goodbye couldn’t exactly be rehearsed. Nate answered the door, hastily letting Silver in before a word of protest could be uttered. “Look what I did! It’s amazing,” he said. Silver got an eyeful of a crude looking but functional toy train, running on little tracks around the house. The electrical cars buzzed and clattered but after a few seconds, the wheels froze up. “That happens,” Nate muttered while turning off the toy. “I think you got what it takes to make toys,” Silver said. “I guess it’s all thanks to you? I mean, not to be sappy or whatever.” Silver felt that envious rush in his heart again. Nothing about it was familiar. Every tempting thought tugged at all of his senses. Like the sadness that came before, there could be no resistance. Pulling the colt closer, Silver kissed him slowly. It was a kiss that made no sense. Not between two ponies over ten years apart. But the envy. It consumed Silver. Friendship. Love. They were one in the same thing. Silver would show Nate love because Silver wished it. Later, Silver gazed up at the ceiling, looking at pictures of comic book characters and drawings of trains in the colt’s room. It reminded him of home so long ago. Even Nate himself could have been a version of Silver long forgotten. Silver left the colt and went to his wagon. Exhaustion clung to Silver’s body. A fear washed over him. Like some drug, Silver needed the stone. Taking it out, Silver held it and felt the penetrating glance of electricity, the color of deep green like an emerald. There was nothing in the world that would ever be enough. Silver would not rest until everything was his. Maybe he would even convince Misty to be his greatest friend, no matter how long that would take.