//------------------------------//
// Cleaning Mental Detritus 
// Story: MLAABQ: Noble Goals 
// by Snakeskin Ducttape 
//------------------------------//

Early in the morning I woke up, feeling both listless and energetic at the same time; a strange and uncomfortable mix of emotions.

Two things helped. The first was when I reminded myself that we triumphed, that everything was alright and the dangers were over, which dulled the listlessness and temporarily turned it into the much more natural feeling of fatigue. The other was Armor, who occasionally woke up and curled vigilantly around me, at which point I’d give his foreleg a soft squeeze, and he’d fall back into a light sleep again for a few minutes.

This went on for hours. The sun rose in the distance, and went up into the sky beyond where we could see it from the windows, and still we stayed there.

It made sense to me when I thought back on it later. Too much of any emotion is bad. Too much sadness and your body wastes away, but too much love and your digestion suffers, kinda. I guess what Armor and I were feeling was too much relief.

Still, in each other’s company, it slowly started feeling better.

“I’ve been trying to think of something to say for hours now,” Armor said, which was the first thing anyone of us had said all day.

“I know. Me too,” I said.

“It’s like… if I said ‘we did it’, I feel I’d get annoyed, but I wouldn’t if you said it, and I can’t figure out if it works the same way in your head or if it’s reversed.”

I chortled, knowing exactly what he meant. I turned around and face him. “You know,” I said, slowly. “The least bad thing I’ve been able to think of is that we can probably order whatever we want, and no one would blame us for changing our minds, or suddenly not having an appetite.”

Armor looked up into the ceiling as he considered this. “Yeah,” he said. “Maybe right now it’s about the little things.”

I climbed up and rested on his chest as I thought. “Hmm, maybe. It’s a nice day out.”

Armor nodded with a mock critical expression on him. “I need a good preening and I have all day for it.”

“We could take a walk around town.”

“I bet there’s a new Daring Do book out by now.”

“You could get your preening done at a spa.”

“Yeah, perhaps have a drink in a coconut bowl with a little umbrella at the same time.”

“And get something to eat that isn’t cooked over an open flame.”

“Ooh, like ice cream.”

“Yeah, at a park, with a pond, where you can skip stones.”

“And with swan that looks offended when you do.”

We stopped, and looked at each other before breaking out in laughter.

“Heh, wanna get up?” I asked.

“No, not really, but let’s do it anyway. That’ll make it nicer tonight.”

I rose up, and pulled a limp Armor up with me. He fell back against the pillow when I let go, and reached out and pulled me down with him.

We giggled at each other, before we finally got up, yawned, and leaned against each other for a while.

I poked my head into my bag and pulled out an eyepatch for use until I could get a new prosthesis.

We walked out of the door, and I frowned a little at the sight of an earth stallion standing guard right outside. He straightened at attention when he noticed us.

“Madam, sir,” he said. “Do you require anything?”

“Sir?” Armor asked. “Acorn, don’t you think we’ve shoved a few too many balloons down Sarge’s toilet for you to call me that?”

Acorn smiled sheepishly, and shrugged. “You’re gonna be a knight though, Codpiece.”

Armor sighed and rolled his eyes. “Right.”

“Oh come on. It’ll be great. Bigger paycheck,” Acorn said.

“I don’t use most of the one I have.”

“You could start. And you can order ponies around.”

“I can see how you’d be thrilled about that.”

“Ooh, sassy.”

Armor looked into the distance, and scoffed humorously. “Alright, see you around, Acorn,” he said, and we walked down the hallway.

“See ya, Codpiece.”

“Nice meeting you,” I said.

“Likewise.”

Armor looked pensive as we walked into the dining room closest to my apartment, where Raven was slouching in a chair, her hair let down.

She immediately shot up when she saw us enter the room, and tried to straighten out her mane.

“Oh, Madam Desrochers,” she said. “Private Armor.”

“Uh… at ease, secretary?”

Raven froze like a deer in headlights, before she let out a sigh and slowed down, but still set her mane up in a knot and sat up straight.

“Forgive me, madam, but it is just not appropriate.”

“Mind if we join you?” Armor asked.

“Certainly not, private.”

“Mind if we request that you chill a little?” I asked, as we took our seats by the table.

Raven sat still for a moment, before slumping a little in posture and smiling. “Sure.”

“Rough day?”

She smiled at us. “It feels a little petty to complain in front of you two.”

Armor and I shrugged. “Do it anyway,” Armor said.

“Kibitz is taking some of Celestia’s duties,” Raven said. “Although he’s mostly reviewing the paperwork so that Luna can go through it and postponing meetings. I’m being hounded by ponies who think that I can sign things in her stead though.”

Armor and I looked at each other, and chuckled a bit sheepishly. “Sorry, but I’m not going to apologize for helping Sombra come back.”

Raven stared a bit bleary-eyed at us, before shaking her head. “No! No! I don’t mean that! It sounds like I’m blaming you for it,” Raven said, and stared into the distance with a relieved look on her face. “Can you imagine it? Princess Celestia, our Celestia, off with her beau. It’s so wonderful. Oh, also, Kibitz says good work too.”

We were about to respond when our stomachs growled in unison.

“They’re plotting something,” I said, looking down at myself.

“Oh,” Raven exclaimed, and magically pulled a rope, making a bell chime in the distance and calling a cook to take our order.

Some time later, we had finished our meals, consisting of something we didn’t have an opportunity to eat while travelling in the mirror world, rhubarb cream in my case, and were making small talk with Raven.

“Is something the matter, Armor?” she asked.

He opened his mouth, and stopped, slowly looking around as if Raven had really put him on the spot.

“Could it be that you feel separated from your peers now that you’re back?” I suggested, having an inkling of what the issue may be.

Armor’s eyebrows rose in slow realization. “... Huh,” he said.

Raven smiled a bit apologetically. “Yeah, I guess that can be a problem when you save the world,” she said. “I shouldn’t talk about her majesty like this, but Celestia has felt the same way.”

“Princess Celestia didn’t have any peers for ages though,” Armor pointed out.

“That’s what I mean,” Raven said, with a knowing smile.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“Might I share an observation?” Raven asked.

Armor nodded, curious.

“There are a few ponies in Ponyville who have saved the world and have close bonds with those around them,” she pointed out.

Armor and I nodded and looked at each other.

“I feel I need to stretch my wings. What do you say, Gabe?” he asked.

“We should be getting back and share the news,” I agreed.

“I’ll be in touch regarding the award ceremony,” Raven said, as we filed out, making us speed up and rush towards a window.


—


High in the sky between Ponyville and Canterlot, I was seated on Armor’s back, as usual.

“We could live out in the wilds if we wanted,” I said, voicing an errant thought, making Armor look back at me questioningly. “Not that I want to, I want to get some food served to me for a while, I’m just saying it would be possible.”

“Does… does it feel like the possibilities are endless, and while it makes no sense to go in just a random direction, there could be opportunity wherever you go?” he ventured.

“Yeah, pretty much exactly that,” I said.

Armor reached back with a hoof and gently pressed me against his neck so he could nuzzle my cheek. “That’s the feeling you get when you start making your own money and move out of your parents’ house.”

“... Oh. Yeah, that makes sense,” I said, and nuzzled Armor back. “Thanks for letting me finally feel that.”

“You’re welcome,” Armor said, as we started descending towards Ponyville.

Half of Ponyville was overcast, with a team of pegasi clearing the clouds. The grass looked damp, and several ponies on the ground emerging to put laundry out again.

Armor weaved by the edge of the overcast, making Ponyville come into view. We flew almost straight down towards Golden Oaks Library.

Or at least where it had stood.

Armor slowed down, and we gently set down in front of the giant hole in the ground, staring at it with mouths hanging open.

“... What the…?” I started, inserting an expletive as I asked what happened.

We heard clopping behind us, and I looked back to see Lyra walking by, finally noticing us.

She stared at us for a second, before her eyes lit up. “Gabe, Armor! Hey you guys! Where have you been?”

“We’ve… uhm… had some things to do,” I said, and turned back to the hole. “What happened here?”

“Oh, yeah,” Lyra said, her ears drooping. “Tirek the centaur came and ruined the place before Twilight and the others beat him.”

“They’re okay then!?” I pressed.

“Well of course they are,” Lyra said, her ears perking up. “I think they’re all in the castle.”

“They are?” Armor asked. “We just came from there.”

“Then didn’t you see the library in the throne room?” Lyra asked, genuinely confused.

The three of us looked at each other in awkward silence for a moment, before Lyra realized what was going on. “Oh, wait, you mean Canterlot. I’m talking about Twilight’s castle, the new one,” she said, and pointed to the side.

We looked where she was indicating, finally noticing the enormous crystalline structure jutting out beyond the traditional Ponyville profile.

“... Where did that come from?” I asked.

“It shot out of the ground when the Element Bearers used the power of friendship to unlock a mystery box, defeated Tirek, and rode a rainbow across Equestria and restored everypony’s magic power. Didn’t you read the newspaper?”

Armor and I stood in silence for a moment.

“That makes sense,” Armor said, while I just shook my head. ‘Ponies.’

“Well, I’m sure she has enough room for you two,” Lyra said, and strolled on. “Well, nice seeing you guys again.”

Armor and I walked around a few houses to take a better look at the castle. It looked similar to the buildings in the Crystal Empire when it came to material, but not in design. 

We slowly approached the castle, and looked at each other, before I lifted my right hoof, and rapped the door.

After the dull sounds had echoed through the structure for a few seconds, we heard the familiar sound of Spike the dragon calling inside. “I got it!”

This was followed by Pinkie Pie shouting “I got it!”

It sounded like a speaker, blowing out the sounds of a raging stampede, being shot through a cannon towards the door Armor and I were standing by.

We glanced at each other, and managed to take half a step back, before the doors were shot open and something large and pink pounced on us and tackled us to the ground.

“Gabe! Stud-y!” Pinkie Pie yelled, as our world was consumed by her mane. “I knew you’d be back and I knew you’d be fine and I made cakes for you but you never came back so I ate them and so did Gummy because he helped and then I didn’t want to get a tummy ache from eating too many and then I gave some away at the shop and then some ponies asked why and then I cried a little and then I stopped because I knew you’d be back and I knew you would because why else would I make cakes and…”

Pinkie Pie suddenly trailed off, and we lay in a tense silence for a second before Pinkie let out a single sob to prelude her wailing cry or sorrow and relief.

Armor and I gently brought up our hooves and patted her on the back, whereupon she hugged us even tighter and renewed her sobbing.

“I was so worriee-eee-eee-eeed!” she cried, making me feel all kinds of guilty.

Before either of us could think of what to say, the sound of galloping ponies coming towards us distracted us.

They skidded to a halt next to us, and a pair of hooves gently lifted us up and separated us from Pinkie.

Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack stood next to Redheart and Spike.

We all looked at each other in silence for a moment, before there was another hug, a big one, where everyone joined in.

After a while, we separated, all of us a little misty-eyed.

“We were expecting you,” Twilight said. “Luna sent a message about what happened. I can hardly believe it. You’re back, and he’s back to normal, and here, with us. Are you two okay?”

“Uhm, well,” I said, looking at Armor. “We’re not hurt, and everything turned out okay. We’re just… it feels strange.”

“You feel… shaken up, so to speak?” Rarity asked.

“Or like nothing you’ll do will ever be that cool again?” Rainbow added.

“Like baking the world’s largest cake?” Pinkie asked. “I mean, what do you do after that?”

“Kinda,” Armor said. “It feels… strange.”

“I think you should invite them in,” Redheart said to Twilight.

“Yes, good idea,” Twilight said. “Come on in. Tell us all about it.”


—


It helped to talk about it. I knew that already of course. I met with a professional listener for years, but I didn’t have stories like this to tell at the time.

They had all been surprised to hear about Trixie, which finally confirmed that I had heard that name before. Apparently her counterpart in this version of Equestria had caused some trouble for the ponies of Ponyville. It made sense to me, considering her mirror version.

“So what did you do then?” Rainbow asked, sitting shock still and listening to every word we said.

I shrugged, looking a little pleased with myself. “I lit up the fuel in the cloud tank and sent the ship flying into a mountain, getting away in the chaos.”

“Awesome!”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said, smiling behind her hooves.

“Heh, that’s a mighty fine job there,” Applejack noted.

“Yeah, did you get a treasure map?” Pinkie asked. “Pirates bury treasures.”

“Sadly no,” I said. “No treasure map, but I did find friendship and that’s a treasure, right.”

They all chuckled, and nodded their heads.

“It sure is,” Twilight said, as her expression turned sad. “I’m sorry you had to say goodbye to them.”

“Ah,” I said. “Well, that’s near the end, and perhaps it’s not as permanent as it may seem.”

Twilight tilted her head questioningly, but I just waved placatingly.

“We rendezvoused in Seaddle the next day,” Armor said. “I finally met Tulip, and then… we mostly walked.”

“Yeah. There’s a lot of ground between Seaddle and middle of the Crystal Empire,” I said, looking at Armor. “I have some conflicting emotions about that as well. It was, uhm…”

“Boring,” Armor said.

“Yes, but also exciting.”

“Cozy.”

“And also cramped, despite being out in the wilds.”

“It took a long time, so we didn’t have any contact with the rest of the world, which we hoped also meant that Sombra’s forces lost our trail.”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “We trained and planned a lot, and finally, we arrived.”

“Can we go through how we infiltrated the castle some other time?” Armor asked.

“Hey, no!” Rainbow protested. “Do it now!”

“My voice is starting to crack,” I said. “Don’t worry, we’ll do it some other time.”

“How did you defeat the Nightmare though?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, you haven’t had the chance to tell me either,” Armor pointed out.

“It’s uuuh… I’m not entirely sure what happened myself,” I said, chewing my lips as I tried figuring out what had happened back then. “I… faced down the Nightmare in… my head, or my soul, or something. It tried doing something to me, but it couldn’t figure me out for a while. Then it was winning, but my parents showed up, or maybe it was my memories of them, I’m not sure. Then I beat it and locked it in my right eye.”

I looked around everyone trying to analyse what I just said.

“How do you feel, Gabe?” Redheart asked. “After seeing your parents I mean.”

“Not so much ‘seeing’ them I guess,” I said. “It’s… fine, though. It was like remembering them, only more vivid.”

“And they beat the Nightmare?” Rainbow asked eagerly.

“No, I did, with my guitar. Made a rather satisfying sound, too.”

“Awesome.”

“And that was that. Sombra was back, and we decided not to drag out the goodbye, and went home,” I said, finishing the tale.

“Well let’s hope that Nightmare critter is locked up tight then,” Applejack said, nodding in satisfaction.

“Yeah, speaking of which, what happened to the library, and did any of my stuff survive?” I asked. “I need another eye.”

“Well, some that was in the basement,” Twilight said, her ears drooping a little, before her expression darkened. “And what happened was Tirek.”

“Tirek?” Armor and I echoed.

“I guess it’s our turn for storytime,” Rainbow said, but was interrupted by a knock on the door in the distance.

“Helloooo?” Derpy called in the distance. “Mail is here!”

“In here, Derpy!” Twilight called, magically opening the door to the room we were in before Derpy could crash into it, and catching her in the air and righting her up.

“Whoa! Thanks, your majesty,” Derpy said, before her eyes scanned us independently from each other. “Hey, Armor. Hey, Gabe. Special delivery.”

She pulled two letters from her bag, losing her grip on them mid air and flicking them on Armor’s nose.

“Sorry,” she said, as Armor picked them up with a wing and inspected them.

“To me? How did…” he asked, holding one out and winging the other to me, but Derpy had already left, the sound of her pulling down a bannister echoing from the hallway.

I looked at mine, having some combination of characters I didn’t recognise right away. I opened it, and skimmed through it. “Oh,” I said. “It’s from the school. Seems like they managed to mostly recreate my enchantments. That’s cool, I have some more stuff for them though.”

I looked at Armor, who looked at his letter with an unreadable expression.

“So?” Rainbow asked. “Who is it from?”

“... My family,” he said. “They say they want to see me.”

“Does this mean I get to plan an even bigger welcoming party!?” Pinkie eagerly asked.

Armor said nothing for a moment, before tucking the letter under a wing. “I guess it’s been a while,” he said, and I could hear him holding back a sigh.

It had to come up eventually, and I had pretty much claimed him, so I would have to meet them as well. From his expression though, I just didn’t know what to hope for.

"Anyway, now we gotta tell you about how we defeated Tirek and made this awesome castle," Rainbow said.

Armor and I put our letters down and nodded. "I reckon we do."

Gaiden