//------------------------------// // Pony Satan // Story: D.N.A: Damn Not Again // by Chemtest //------------------------------// Pony Satan grabs off two full bottles of whiskey from the shelf, and slams them down on a table. He twists shape of the bottle into that of a big glass with his hellish magic. Chem looks at the table, and focuses himself. He uses his ability to change matter in order to make two chairs from the stone below them. They take a seat, drinking whiskey as they look over Tartarus. Chem smiles, “So, you rule over Tartarus?” Satan takes a swig, and shrugs, “Depends on how you really think about it. Sure, a lot of demons look to me as a leader, but I have absolutely no power over what the hell happens down there. Stapus, Chaogat, Pos, Luvaca, Tirek, Corrugat, they all hold the real power down there. Ah, there was a time I ruled over Tartarus, it was a utopia for creatures to work off their sins! Now, the trade routes are nonexistent and there’s only been one visitor in a century.” Chem turns to look at him, “Well, what the hell happened?” Satan sighs, “Celestia invaded so she could steal away all the stallions we had. She ended up being mad at us fighting back, so she took over completely. Worse turns to worse, and a revolution causes power to be split into the six. Ah, at least we made her pissed. She was so pissed, she decided to place a curse on every creature in Tartarus! Now, we are all bipedal, and they are ageless! Not to mention the fact that she took a large majority of our population, so we had a problem there.” Chem shakes his head, “Yeah, Celesta’s a real cunt, isn’t she?” Satan smiles, “Now there’s a statement I can drink to! Nopony on the surface seems powerful enough to stop her either, so she is unhindered!” He looks at Chem, and his eyes widen, “Wait... a grey unicorn with an odd accent and an affinity for whiskey... hot damn.” Chem looks at him, “What?” Satan nods, “Say, Chem, how would you like to lead a revolution against Celestia?” Chem squints his eyes at the odd question, “Well, sure, that sounds wonderful. But I couldn’t do it alone.” Satan stands from the seat, and moves further away from the cliff face they drink on, “Come on, then.” Chem follows him, “What are you doing?” Satan stops, and turns to face Chem, “I have information you need, but I need to make sure of something first.” He puts up his fists, “Fight me. No magic, just physical. No weapons either.” Chem nods, and gets into his bipedal fighting stance, “Just a friendly spar? Alright, I’m good with that.” Satan nods, “Fight!” Satan charges towards him, and enters into a swift dive kick. Chem jumps over his body, landing right on the ground as Satan sticks his claws into the stone. He uses it to turn around, and do a sweeping kick instead. Chem flips over this, planning to land on top of Satan’s head, and deliver a kick to it. But as he nears the head, Satan’s hand grasps his hoof, and slams him into the ground next to him. Chem recovers quickly, and both fighters face each other, not a single bruise on either. Satan goes in with a punch to the head, and a kick to the chest. Chem stumbles closer to Satan, causing his attacks to overshoot. Chem uses his own kick combo. He kicks Satan’s unused leg, so that he falls over onto one knee. Chem then lashes out with his leg once more, kicking Satan in the head. He flips into the air as Satan is knocked down, and stomps down on his chest. Satan manages to roll over at the last second, and hook Chem down with by grabbing the stomping leg. They start to tangle on the ground, with both sending out kicks at each other. Eventually, Satan takes the opportunity to stand. This causes Chem to spin up using his from hooves, and fly at Satan with his rear. The attack lands, and Satan falls over with Chem standing on top of him. Chem moves his hoof to Satan’s neck, and smiles, “It’s over.” Satan summons a knife in one hand, and tries to stab Chem, causing him to retreat. Satan charges towards Chem with the knife, and they begin another fight. Satan tries all sorts of slashes and stabs, and Chem either stumbles out of the way, or manages to block them. Satan smiles, and goes for an over-head stab downwards. Chem blocks it with his foreleg, and twists Satan’s arm around, causing him to drop the knife. He uses his other hoof to punch Satan in the face, and send him flopping down. Satan looks towards the knife, and Chem does too. He reaches out a hoof, almost like he is about to pick it up, but he kicks it off into the depths of Tartarus instead. He looks down at Satan, “It’s over!” Satan smiles, and nods, “It is true, you are the one!” He looks over the cliff, “That knife was to see if you would show mercy or not.” Chem gets off him, and helps him up, “I will never kill anyone. Ever.” Satan nods, “Very good. Now I can feel confident by telling you the information.” He points out the gates, “There exists a resistance group of very smart, powerful, and influential ponies. In Ponyville is the stallion, Time Turner. He is not as smart as my Time Lord brother, granted, but he is a very smart pony nonetheless. Knock on his door five times, and ask him if he has directions to Eternity.” Chem nods, “Ok.” Satan opens the gates, and points, “Go, quickly! Princess Twilight will be waking up soon, and she cannot see you enter his house! Ride Cerberus, he’ll take you there!” Chem runs out to Cerberus, who waits for him with heads down. Chem climbs on top of the heads, and smiles, “Let’s go!”