//------------------------------// // Quassmundus: The Shattered World // Story: Tales of the Ponyville Blacksmith // by Parodyman64 //------------------------------// The early morning sun streamed in through the windows, casting its light across the desks scattered about the classroom, reflecting off dust particles that gently swirled about the still air, dancing to the chatter and movement of early rising students making their way to their seats, creating little sparkles of light that swayed to a silent song, a beautiful display to all those who would watch their choreography. This was all lost on Apple Bloom as she gazed idly out the window, her look of silent disinterest making it clear that her mind was elsewhere. Noticing the filly’s uncharacteristic silence, Cheerilee approached her, “Apple Bloom, are you alright?” “Huh?” Apple Bloom blinked and looked up, “Oh. Naw, Ah’m fine. Just… thinkin’.” She went back to gazing out the window. “Thinking, huh?” Cheerilee looked at the empty desks beside her, “I noticed that you came in alone today.” “Yeah. Scoots and Sweetie Belle had stuff to do this mornin’, so Ah jus’ came in early.” Cheerilee nodded, “Mhmm.” Apple Bloom sighed, “I dunno why, but it got me thinkin’: Much as we’d like to, we can’t spend all our time together.” “The curse of growing up.” Apple Bloom nodded, “Ah guess Ah’m just thinkin’ ‘bout what to do now. Part o’ me wants to find somethin’ to do when Ah’m all by mah lonesome, but…” Cheerilee gave Apple Bloom a gentle smile, “You’ve been together for so long that you don’t know how?” Apple Bloom gave her a somber nod, “Ah jus’ don’t know where to start. An’ Ah don’t want Sweetie Belle an’ Scootaloo to feel like Ah’m leavin’ ‘em behind.” Cheerilee pulled Apple Bloom into a gentle hug, “You’ll figure it out.” Her smile was reassuring, and Apple Bloom leaned into the hug. Eventually, Cheerilee pulled back, enough to look down and give the filly a gentle nuzzle, “Let me know if you need help coming up with anything, okay? Though,” her smile turned into a wry grin, “with your track record, I don’t think you’ll need it.” Apple Bloom gave a soft laugh into her chest, “Thanks, Miss Cheerilee.” Cheerilee gave her a soft pat on the head, “Anytime, Apple Bloom,” before pulling away and making her way back to the front of the classroom. “Oh, and, Apple Bloom?” She looked back, a reassuring smile on her face, “Don’t worry about Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. They’re your friends. They’ll understand.” Apple Bloom nodded before turning back to gaze out the window, a smile now on her face. As the time drew closer for school to start, other students began to file into the classroom. Archer. Featherweight. Truffle and Twist walked in talking about baking. Aura. Pipsqueak. Ruby Pinch and Dinky were excitedly talking in hushed whispers, planning a sleepover for the weekend. Cotton Cloudy. Snips and Snails were talking about… something. As were Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Eventually Scootaloo entered, a light frown on her face as she made her way to her desk. Apple Bloom looked up, “Hey, Scootaloo. What kept ya?” Scootaloo climbed into her seat and hunched forward, eyes focused on the far end of her desk, “Had to talk to my mom about something.” Apple Bloom glanced at the clock, “It took ya that long?” “Yeah.” “… Was it a long talk?” “No.” Apple Bloom winced, her ear flicking back, “… Ya gonna be alright?” “M’fine.” There was silence. Movement at the front of the classroom drew Apple Bloom’s attention to the lavender alicorn that walked through the door. This drew Cheerilee’s attention as well. “Princess Twilight, welcome,” Cheerilee walked out from behind her desk to greet her. “I’m glad you could make it.” Twilight smiled, “Thank you, Miss Cheerilee. I’m glad I could make it as well. I’ve found what little Parody has already told me about his world to be fascinating, and I’m looking forward to learning more.” Cheerilee nodded, before tilting her head curiously, “I wanted to ask about that, actually. When we were planning this, Parody mentioned that he originally made the offer to you, and that you turned him down for not being ‘friendly enough’.” Twilight drew in a deep breath and let out a sigh, “Is that what he’s been telling everypony?” “I take it that’s not what you said?” Twilight shook her head, “Only loosely. The School of Friendship is intended to be a place where youth of all species can study and practice how to foster and develop interpersonal connections, with a focus on understanding our differences and working with them to form lasting friendships.” She sighed, “As genuinely interested as I was – and still am – I did not think that Parody’s proposed lesson plan was suitable for that environment.” Cheerilee nodded along, “So in a drastic oversimplification…” “It wasn’t ‘friendly enough’, yes.” “Speaking of Parody,” Cheerilee glanced at the clock, “where is he? Class is about to start.” “Oh, he’s outside the door. He mentioned something about making an entrance. Just call his name when you’re ready for him.” Cheerilee tilted her head, “Did he tell you what he was planning?” Twilight shook her head, “No. He was tight lipped pretty much the whole way over.” She sighed and looked at the door, “I don’t know what I was expecting; getting any information out of Parody is both frustrating and difficult. The most I’ve ever gotten out of him were vague, off-hoof remarks that I lack the context to understand.” She paused for a moment, before turning back to look at Cheerilee, “I’m hoping that won’t be the case here. There’s something I need to figure out.” Cheerilee paused and gave Twilight a look, “… I take it this is more to you than just idle curiosity?” Twilight nodded, “A little bit. I’m hoping that if I learn more about his world, maybe I can figure out why he doesn’t want to go back.” Cheerilee blinked, “He doesn’t want to go back?” Twilight hesitated, “… That’s what I’ve been led to believe.” “So he hasn’t said that himself?” Twilight shook her head, “No, but… That first week I met him in Canterlot, in addition to getting to know him, I worked with some of the best mages and scholars to try and figure out how Parody came here and if we could send him home. I wanted to help him. I still want to help him. But, when we found no evidence of any dimensional incursion, we went to Parody to get his story to see if we had missed any details.” She seemed to sag slightly, “Not only did he not answer any of our questions, but he actually told us to stop, to not worry about sending him home.” Cheerilee arched her brow, “He told you to stop?” Twilight nodded, “He did. With nothing to go off of, the research team disbanded and everypony went back to their lives. I’m the only one still looking for a way to send him home, but… I’m starting to question if I should.” Cheerilee hummed in thought, “You know, I never thought about it, but for somepony who’s been ripped away from his home and into an unfamiliar world, Parody’s pretty playful and unconcerned… Do you think it’s a coping mechanism?” Twilight shrugged, “I thought that at first, but now I’m not so sure.” She sighed, “Whatever it is, I just want to understand so I can help him.” Cheerilee gave her a warm smile, “You’re a kind pony, Twilight.” Twilight allowed a smile to pull its way onto her face, “I try.” “And I’m sure Parody appreciates your efforts as well.” Twilight’s smile faltered, “… I’m not sure he does. I’ve been trying, but, I don’t think I’m any closer to him than I was in Canterlot. He still-” Apple Bloom was snapped into focus by a white filly sitting down at the desk beside her. Sweetie Belle smiled, “Hey, Apple Bloom.” “Hey, Sweetie Belle.” Sweetie Belle glanced over at the sullen pegasus, “Scootaloo, are you alright?” Without looking up, Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Shrugging, Sweetie Belle looked back to Apple Bloom, “I saw Parody standing outside the door. Any idea why he’s here?” Apple Bloom nodded towards the front of the classroom, “Yeah, Twilight an’ Miss Cheerilee were jus’ talkin’ ‘bout it; said he’s here to talk about his home world an’ stuff like that.” “Huh. Neat.” “Should be pretty interestin’,” Apple Bloom nodded. “What do you think, Scootaloo?” Scootaloo blinked and looked up, before shrugging, “I dunno. It’s probably just some boring old history lesson. Can’t be that cool.” Apple Bloom shrugged, “So ya’ll got anythin’ going on after school?” Scootaloo shook her head, “No, not really. Why, got any ideas?” “Ah figure we could play at the park after school. Jus’ somethin’ silly an’ fun.” “Works for me.” Scootaloo glanced at Sweetie Belle, “What about you?” Sweetie Belle shrugged, “Sounds fun.” “Hello, girls.” Blinking, the crusaders looked forward at the approaching Twilight. She was walking down the rows of desks, carrying a selection of notebooks, papers, quills, and an inkwell in her telekinetic grip. She smiled, “How are you doing today?” “We’re doin’ alright, Miss Twilight.” “I’m glad to hear it,” Twilight gave them a nod before walking past them to a desk set in the back of the classroom. As Twilight settled into the desk, the bell began to ring. Cheerilee stood at the front of the classroom, “Alright, class, settle down. Before we begin today’s lesson, I’d like to announce that we have a guest speaker today.” The class erupted into excited whispers as they turned to look at the alicorn sitting in the back of the class. “Is it Princess Twilight?” Diamond Tiara asked. Twilight shook her head. “No, it’s not the princess,” Cheerilee turned to gesture at the door, “Class, I’d like to introduce our resident blacksmith, Parody; here today to talk about his home world.” WHUMPH The door rattled violently, and muffled cursing could be heard from the other side. After a moment of silence, the door opened, allowing Parody to peer inside, eyes focused on the door. “So, turns out, door swings the other way.” Cheerilee gave him an odd look, “Yes, it’s standard for fire safety that public buildings have doors that swing outward.” Parody gave an amused huff as he staggered in, a slight limp in his gait, “You’d be surprised how many people forget that.” A look of concern crossed Cheerilee’s face as Parody limped up to the front desk, “Parody, are you alright?” He waved her off, “This is nothing.” Ruby Pinch and Dinky waved enthusiastically, “Hi, Mister Parody!” Parody grinned, “Hey, Ruby, Dinky, how ya doing?” “We’re doing great!” “We’re planning a sleepover!” Parody crossed his arms, “A sleepover, huh? Sounds fun.” His gaze drifted off to the side, “Don’t really get to have those anymore.” Dinky perked up, “Oh! You could come to ours!” Parody laughed, “Maybe.” Cheerilee leaned over, “Parody, are you ready?” Parody’s smile tightened, his expression becoming one of a child who not only was caught with his hand in the cookie jar, but was now trying desperately to convince his parents that he actually didn’t have his hand in the cookie jar. “’Kay, about that.” He began to gesture, “So, I had free days on either end of today, so naturally I managed to double book. I got something going on with Tinker Tool later this morning, so I won’t be able to use up all our allotted time.” Disappointment made its way onto Cheerilee’s face, “Really?” Parody lifted his hands in a placating gesture, “Look, don’t worry, it’s fine. I didn’t really have a proper lesson plan anyway, so it should still work out.” Disappointment intensified. “You don’t have a lesson plan? Parody, how long have we been planning this?” Parody shrugged, “What do you want from me? I’m not a teacher, and there’s a lot to go over.” He shook his head, “Look, I didn’t know where to start, so I figured I’d just ramble on for a bit and let them ask questions, let them learn what they want to learn.” Cheerilee sighed, “If that’s what will work best.” Parody waved her off, “It’ll be fine,” before turning to face the class. “So, today we’ll be learning about imaginary numbers.” “WHAT!?” Parody burst out into wild laughter. Cheerilee shot a stern look at the filly standing on her desk, “Miss Pinch, indoor voices.” “But, but-” Fighting through his laughter, Parody held out his hand, “Ruby, Ruby, I’m messing with you. Don’t worry.” “Oh,” Ruby wilted, giving a sheepish smile as she sat back down in her seat. Parody took a moment to get his laughter back under control. Giving one final snerk, he straightened his back and shook his head, gazing out at the classroom. “Alright. I suppose I should introduce myself, on the off chance that one of you has managed to forget who I am: I am Parody. I’m the resident blacksmith, and as you might have heard, I’m not from Equestria, or even this world.” He grinned, “Now, you might be thinking ‘wow, he’s a real alien. That’s so cool!’ And you’d be right; I am pretty cool.” The class giggled. “And before you ask: No. Unlike the comics, I am not here to conquer you.” His grin pulled into a smirk, “This time, at least.” There was more laughter from the class. Parody crossed his arms, his smirk relaxing into a look of light amusement, “Now, all seriousness. I came here from a world called Quassmundus, and…” He tilted his head back to look up at the ceiling, “Oh man, where do I even start?” He paused, blowing air out of his mouth, before shrugging. “Okay, so I don’t really know where Quassmundus is in relation to Equestria, or anything really. I figure it’s either somewhere central in the rest of the multiverse, or it’s just constantly moving around.” While the foals looked at each other in confusion, Twilight tilted her head, “How do you figure that?” Parody worked his mouth for a moment, searching for what to say. “Well, when two universes bump into each other, they exchange information. And I’m not talking contact info. I’m talking concepts and ideas, sometimes even physical people and places.” He smirked and began gesturing, “Real wild stuff when you watch an entire city blink out of existence ‘cause it’s been shunted a universe over. Anyway, judging from the amount of stuff I find in Quassmundus that I know came from other universes, it has to be constantly bumping into things, which means it has to be somewhere where those collisions have a higher chance of happening.” The class seemed to be lost entirely, but that didn’t stop Twilight from rapidly jotting down notes. “That’s fascinating. Do you know why that’s happening?” Parody shrugged, “Probably has to do with the ongoing efforts to piece the place back together.” The quill froze above the paper, allowing a drop of ink to fall and blot on the page. After a short pause, Twilight looked up at Parody, an unsure expression on her face. “‘The ongoing efforts to piece the place back together’?” Parody opened his mouth to respond, but stopped, his brow furrowing in thought. “… Wow, that came up quick. I mean, I knew I’d have to talk about it eventually, but that was almost immediate.” “What?” Parody sighed, “… Do you know what ‘Quassmundus’ means?” Twilight shook her head, “I can’t say that I do. Why do you ask?” “Because that wasn’t always its name.” Parody paused for a moment before clasping his hands together, a rueful smirk on his face, “Well, kids, I hope you don’t mind stories with bad endings, ‘cause in order to understand Quassmundus’s name, you’ll need to learn about the most tragic event in its history: The First Entropy; or as it’s formally called: The Entropic War.” A chill ran down the everypony’s spines. “… war?” “Yep. It was a devastating civil war amongst the novacreons,” His mouth curled upward slightly, “Apocalyptic, even.” Archer raised her hoof, “Novacreons?” “Immortal entities created by the gods to maintain the cycle of worlds, and generally keep things stable.” His mouth pulled into a wry smirk, “How ironic that they be the ones to ultimately do it in.” Archer’s ears folded back, “… What happened?” Parody shrugged, “Not sure, wasn’t there for that one. All I’ve got are stories, and according to them it was, well… it was bad.” Twilight gave a solemn nod, “As all wars are.” Parody let out a bark of laughter, “You don’t even know.” He shook his head, “They say that when elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers. Well, these elephants fought so fiercely that the very fields they fought upon were torn asunder.” His mouth pulled into a dry smirk, “I mean, normal wars fought amongst mortals are devastating and all, don’t get me wrong, but wars amongst beings granted powers of creation? Demigods in their own right, capable of shaping reality itself?” He gave a solemn head shake, “It never stood a chance.” Though he was afraid of the answer, Featherweight asked, “What never stood a chance?” “Reality itself. It was torn apart. Our humble little universe fragmented into a miniature multiverse. A tangled mess of interconnected half-realities, barely held together.” Parody let out a snort, “The gods took one look at that broken mess and just threw their hands in the air and walked away. Guess they thought it’d be easier to just start over from scratch. “But yeah, that’s how it got its name. Quassmundus: The Shattered World.” A feeling of shock and horror descended across the classroom. Dinky shook her head, “I can’t believe anypony would do that.” Parody shrugged, “Everyone has a breaking point.” Dinky looked up, her face scrunched up, tears welling in her eyes, “But, why? Why?” Parody sighed, “Understanding novacreon history, the Entropic war and why it happened…” He shook his head, “That’s its own story. One I’ll have to tell another time.” “Are you sure that’s an appropriate story?” Twilight asked. Parody shrugged, “Probably not,” he smirked, “but this is the only place I’ll tell it. So if you want to know…” Twilight gave him a stern look. Sweetie Belle shook her head as she recovered from her shock, “So, if that’s why it’s called Quassmundus, then what was it called before?” Parody scoffed, “I don’t know; no one wants to tell me. Vires says it doesn’t matter, Novus wants to ‘preserve its memory’, and Arkus, well…” Parody broke into laughter. Sweetie Belle tilted her head, raising a brow, “What?” “Arkus hates me.” Ruby Pinch’s ears folded back, “Hates you?” Parody smirked, “Oh yeah, he hasn’t been silent about it. Calls me everything from ‘interloper’ to ‘the physical manifestation of everything I despise about your kind’.” Ruby wilted, “But, why?” Parody paused, “… Right, you wouldn’t know him.” He cleared his throat, “Arkus Eirsson. Of all the gods that created Quassmundus, he’s the only one who stuck around to try and fix things. By default he hated me ‘cause of what I was. That only got worse when he found out I was friends with Entia. Since then, his opinion of me has not improved.” He laughed, “I have a feeling that if he could he’d either banish me or rend me from existence.” “What?!” “Really?!” “Why?!” “How could- what?” Parody kept laughing, “Like I said, he hates me.” Twilight looked at him with concern, “Doesn’t that worry you?” Parody scoffed, “I’m not worth it. Dude’s been trying to piece Quassmundus back together on his own since the Entropic War. He doesn’t have time or power to waste on me.” Twilight arched her brow, “Are you sure?” Parody nodded, “Pretty sure at this point he’s the only thing holding Quassmundus together, so it’s pretty important he focuses on his role as divine glue stick. I mean, he’s so busy doing that that most people have forgotten he even existed in the first place.” Dinky tilted her head, “They’ve forgotten him?” “For the most part, yeah. I only know he exists ‘cause apparently we were worth yelling at in person.” He smirked, “I suppose I should be flattered.” A frown crossed Dinky’s face, “That’s sad. They forgot all about him even after everything he’s done for them-” “HA!” Parody barked, “He’s not doing it for them. He’s doing it for himself. Quassmundus is his, and if no one’s going to help him, then he’ll just fix it himself. Eventually.” Dinky shrunk back, “… but doesn’t he care about them?” Parody shook his head, “Not anymore. Pretty sure at this point he hates just about everyone and everything. A shame, too. I’ve heard that he used to be such a nice guy.” “… That doesn’t sound very nice.” Parody shrugged, “This’s all before me. Honestly? I got nothin’ against the guy, I just kinda think he’s a spoiled brat. You know the type. It’s like, come on, what do you care that I’m playing with your toys? You weren’t using them.” Twilight raised a brow, “Are you sure you don’t have anything against him?” Parody rolled his eyes, “Okay, look, I get that he has his reasons, but it’s real hard to get along with someone who thinks you owe him just for existing.” Twilight balked, “What? Why would he think that?” “He’s a real ‘sins of the father’ type.” He shook his head as if he were disappointed, “It’s like, seriously? Why? You said it yourself; I’m not even-” Parody blinked a few times, “… I feel like we’ve gotten off topic. What were we even talking about?” “Quassmundus’s original name,” Sweetie Belle answered. He nodded, “Right, right. Since Arkus hates me, and no one else will tell me, I know basically nothing about pre-Entropy Quassmundus. Sorry,” he shrugged. Ruby shook her head, “But, why does he hate you? I don’t understand.” Parody quirked a brow at her, “You still on about that?” He walked over to her desk and crouched down so he was eye level, “Look, I’m far from the only person Arkus hates, and he’s definitely not the only person that hates me. So don’t worry about it.” He gave her a gentle pat on the head. “But-” Parody stood up, “Alright!” He turned to the room as he made his way back to the front, “Anyone got any questions? I’ve completely lost thread of what we were talking about and could use a new starting point.” Twist raised her hoof, “What happened to the nov- nova-” “Novacreons?” “Yeah!” “Well, I’ll talk more about this at length if and when we cover the Entropic War, but to keep it short: The few that remained were stripped of most of their power, and then cast out and punished.” Aura raised her hoof, “What’s it like there?” “Oh, it’s an absolute mess.” “… That bad?” Parody scoffed, “The world’s broken on a fundamental level, what did you expect?” He gave a short laugh as his mouth curled into a smirk, “I mean, I guess if you were a regular inhabitant of Quassmundus, just living your life in one of the worlds, you really wouldn’t notice. But to an outsider looking at Quassmundus as a whole? It’s a tangled mess of realities with an era range of ‘schizo’; it’s all over the place. Look at one world and it’s medieval. Look at the next and it’s space age. And then the next one is both and they’re neighbors on the same planet. Like, one city is all castles and straw huts, and everyone’s got plate mail and carriages, and then fifty miles away you’ve got skyscrapers, and everyone’s rocking power armor and space ships, and you look at that and you can’t help but go ‘what is even happening?!’” A soft chuckle escaped his lips, “Let me tell ya, there’s no end to the bizarre combinations Quassmundus comes up with.” Aura blinked a few times, trying to process everything Parody had said. “… That sounds confusing.” Parody shrugged, “Well, like I said, from the inside, you wouldn’t really notice. Even the weirdest world quirks would seem normal to you ‘cause that’s all you’ve ever known.” A contemplative expression crossed Twilight’s face as she briefly glanced over her notes, “… Parody, if that were the case, then how would anypony know otherwise? Are the inhabitants of Quassmundus even aware of its fragmented nature?” Parody nodded his head to the side, “Depends on the world, really. The more advanced ones tend to pick up on it, and it’s generally buried in mythos somewhere. But yeah, like Arkus, the full story of what happened has slowly been forgotten over time.” After a moment of thought, he let out a snort, “I can tell you what they haven’t forgotten, though: The novacreons. Oh man, if they thought mortals hated them before, the Entropic War made that so much worse. “And for your other question, ‘how would they know?’ Travel between realities, while uncommon, is possible. Natural weak points in the barrier between realities form in places of high friction, usually resulting in things like portals being formed… That or it just rips the reality open,” he shrugged, “Happens sometimes.” The class gaped in horror at the thought. “Pretty rare though. “Some civilizations have figured out how to open targeted gateways to different realities, either through machines or magic, and some, like novacreons, are naturally able to traverse the barrier, albeit with some effort.” While the foals stared uncomprehendingly, Twilight looked up from her notes, “So, you’re world has figured out dimensional travel?” Parody’s brow furrowed as he pursed his lips slightly, “Eh, some of them. Kinda… Not really.” He shook his head, looking up in thought, “Oh, what’s a good way to put this?” He paused for a moment, “… Ah. Quassmundus is like a puzzle; the different realities are the pieces, all part of a greater whole. They may all be different and distinct, but they’re all still Quassmundus, so the barrier is… thinner, if that makes sense.” Twilight nodded to herself, “I think I get it. Because each reality was once one and the same, they must have similar, if not identical, dimensional frequencies, meaning that, with the right spell, it would be easy to anchor the realties together and open a portal, because they, on some level, recognize that they are part of something greater and want to become whole again.” Parody blinked, his expression blank despite the smile, “… Sure.” He briefly shook his head to refocus, “Also, walking through the barrier requires there be something on the other side to walk to. All this works in Quassmundus because everything’s all scrunched together at all times in a desperate bid to keep things from being scattered across the multiverse.” Twilight jotted down some notes, humming in thought, “Does that mean that none of that would work here?” Parody gave a half-hearted shrug, “I mean, it could. You’d have to wait until you’re pressed up against another universe; at that point it’s just a matter of finding the friction point.” He smirked, “Just keep in mind that once the universes separate, that’s that. Unless you’re strong enough to reel universes together, or are able to traverse the void between realms, there’s no coming back from that. Not on your own. So I wouldn’t advise it,” he shrugged, “Unless that’s what you want. There were quite a few novacreons that did that after the Entropic War; a one-way trip away from everything.” Twilight opened her mouth to say something, before pausing, her face screwing up in thought. After a moment, she silently went back to her notes. Parody turned back to the rest of the class, “Now, I realize that I lost most of you there, so, anything else?” Snips raised his hoof, “Hey, Parody. You talked about what Quassmundus was like for everypony else, but what about you? You live there, right?” The rest of the class winced at the insensitive question. Parody was unfazed, “HA! Where do I begin? Crazy? Absurd? I don’t think words alone can convey the endless shenanigans that is my life.” He smirked, “I mean, it’s great, don’t get me wrong. It’s been fun and exciting. It’s just, y’know,” he leaned back on front desk, “nice to relax and catch my breath every now and then.” His smirk melted into a soft smile, which was immediately ruined when he broke out into laughter, “Wow, alright. Now that I’ve answered in the vaguest way possible, you probably meant that like ‘where do I live?’ and ‘where do I work?’” Ruby perked up, “Ooh! Yeah! You didn’t answer before! What was your job like? Were you a blacksmith there too?” Parody smiled, “Close. I’m an engineer for Perish Co.” Ruby made a face at that. As did the rest of the class. Parody started laughing, “Weird name, huh? Don’t read into it too much, the founders were just being silly. Wanted a word made up of letters from their names, and ‘perish’ was the first word they came up with.” Ruby blinked a couple times as she gave her head a quick shake, “So, what do you do as an engineer?” Parody grinned widely, his voice taking on a southern drawl, “I solve problems.” “Problems?” His grin widened, “Not problems like ‘what is beauty?’ Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.” Ruby face twisted in confusion. “I solve practical problems.” Ruby was completely lost, “… what?” Parody started laughing, his voice returning to normal, “I build things. Invent things. Lotta sciency stuff too.” Apple Bloom perked up, ears swiveling forward. “I’ve designed and helped design all sorts of crazy machinery and technology.” Apple Bloom’s thoughts turned inward. It may not have been her special talent, but she had always like building things, and despite the fact that they had tried steal the farm, the Flim Flam brothers had made some pretty fascinating things. She glanced up at Parody, thinking back to the pieces of unfinished projects he had lying around his house. Maybe. Just maybe. Twilight took a moment to shift through her notes. Finding what she was looking for, she hesitated for a moment before looking up, “Parody, you mentioned that this, Arkus Eirsson, doesn’t like you, correct?” Parody blinked, “Okay, I guess were going back to this.” Exasperation crossed Twilight’s features, “Parody, I’m trying to help you.” He threw his arms up, “With what?! The lesson? Look, I get that I’m not the greatest teacher, but come on! You don’t even know the source material!” “I’m trying to help you get home!” Parody quirked a brow, “… Didn’t I tell you not to worry about that?” Twilight shook her head pleadingly, “Parody, I know that you don’t consider me your friend, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you.” Parody held his hands up, shaking his head, “That’s not why I-” he sighed, “Ugh, fine, fine,” rolling his eyes and crossing his arms, he sat back on the desk, “What’s your point?” Twilight gave him a grateful nod before looking down at her notes, “Alright, from what I’ve gathered, Arkus is the one responsible for putting Quassmundus back together, correct?” Parody nodded. Twilight continued, “Which would mean that Quassmundus’s frequent contact with other universes is the result of Arkus seeking out and performing these ‘dimensional exchanges’ in an attempt to gather anything that might help him piece a fundamentally broken reality back together…” “Makes sense.” Twilight looked up at Parody, “Is it possible that Arkus used one of these exchanges to nudge you out of Quassmundus and into Equestria? If he-” Parody held up a hand, “Alright, Princess, I’m gonna have to stop you right there. The idea is there, and your logic is sound, but it wasn’t him. Trust me.” He smirked, “As much as Arkus hates me, I’m not worth picking a fight with Entia over. I mean, unless I’m actively tearing Quassmundus apart, I’m not even worth talking to. Like I said, Arkus is busy putting Quassmundus back together. Power not spent on that is wasted power, and he can’t afford that right now.” Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but Parody cut her off. “Look, Princess, I’m glad you’re all gung-ho about figuring this out, but you don’t have to help.” Twilight frowned, “But I want to help. Why won’t you let me?” Parody shrugged, “’Cause I don’t need it.” After a moment of silence, he turned to the rest of the class, “Alright, anyway-” “Why don’t you want to go back?” Parody blinked and gave Twilight an incredulous look, “What?” “Why don’t you want to go back home?” Parody sat in stunned silence for a moment, before his mouth curled into a smirk, “Don’t feel like it.” “What-?” “Now come on, Princess, don’t be rude,” Parody chastised, leaning forward to gesture at the room, “This is a class Q and A session, and you’re hogging it all to yourself. Let some of the kids have a turn.” For a moment, it looked like Twilight would argue, but instead her expression softened, looking almost sorrowful, and she returned to her notes with a soft nod. While the rest of the class glanced at each other in unsure silence, Ruby tentatively lifted her hoof, “Parody?” “Yeah?” “When we had breakfast together, you said that you made more enemies than friends, and you’ve been talking about all these ponies that hate you… Parody, do you have any friends?” Parody laughed, “Of course I ha-” he blinked, “Wait. Have I seriously never talked about them?” He thought to himself for a moment before laughing, “Wow! Bet they’ll love hearing about that. ‘Hey bestest friends of my life, don’t mind me, I’m just over here forgetting about you entirely!’” Ruby tilted her head and waited for him to finish laughing, “What were they like?” A soft smile crossed Parody’s face, “Well, let’s see… We’ve got Irish; he’s snarky, and a little mean, but there’s some silliness in his heart. Neon; he used to be a bit of a hothead, but these days he’s more measured and collected. Zorkrow,” he snerked, “he’s all weird questions and bad puns. And Laidir; nice guy, but if you give him an opening for a dad joke, he will take it. Every time. It’s a reflex for him at this point; sometimes he isn’t even aware he’s doing it. “Man, we’ve been on all sorts of adventures, experienced weird things, and…” he paused, his smile becoming fond, “You know, now that I’m thinking about it, with how crazy our lives get, it’s the more mundane moments that really stand out. I once walked up on Zorkrow lying face down in the dirt; when I asked him what he was doing, he just went ‘I am a landshark!’” Parody started laughing. A soft smile crossed Twilight’s face as she looked up, “They sound like good friends.” Parody nodded, “Yeah. There are more, but us five? We’ve been friends for the vast majority of our lives." He paused, his smile faltering ever so slightly, “I’d rather not think about where I’d be without them.” Twilight gave Parody a sympathetic look, “… You must miss them a lot.” Parody waved her off with a snerk, “Nah, I’m usually pretty good about hitting them with whatever I’m throwing.” Twilight gave him a look. Parody chuckled to himself as he shook his head, “You worry too much. You know that, right? This is hardly-” he drifted off, his brow furrowing, “Wait, what do you mean it’s-?” His eyes flick up into the corner of his vision before widening. He whirled around to look up at the classroom clock, “… uh oh.” Without warning he spun around and begun sprinting to the door, “Running late! Gotta go! Later! Bye!” Without slowing down, he burst out the door. The class watched in silence as the door slowly closed. Before it could latch shut, Parody grabbed the door and peered in, looking at it. “Wow, you’re right; having that swing outward’s way better.” With that said, he pulled away and let the door close. After a moment, Cheerilee sighed and began gathering her lesson materials, “Alright class, feel free to talk amongst yourself while I prepare today’s lesson.” Sweetie Belle glanced at the others, “Well, I suppose he was right; he definitely isn’t a teacher. That was all over the place.” Scootaloo sighed in relief, “Okay, good, so I wasn’t the only one who had a hard time following that.” Apple Bloom smirked, “Ya sure it wasn’t ‘cause it weren’t ‘cool enough’?” Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “Alright, so some of what he said was interesting, but he kept starting and stopping. It made it really hard to focus. And he kept going on about that Arkus guy; is he even important?” Sweetie Belle shrugged, “Sounded like it.” Apple Bloom tilted her head in thought, “So, what did ya’ll get outta that, anyway?” “That Parody builds things and that he lived in a broken world,” Scootaloo replied. Sweetie Belle wilted, “To think that a war could be that destructive… I can’t believe anypony would do that.” Apple Bloom nodded in solemn agreement, “Yeah… Mah family out in Appleloosa got into a fight with the buffalo, but all they did was throw pies at each other. Weren’t nothin’ like that.” Sweetie Belle shook her head, “What were they hoping to accomplish?” Scootaloo shrugged. “Ah don’ know,” As Apple Bloom shook her head, she noticed Twilight walk up to Cheerilee and focused on them. Once at the front desk, Twilight looked down at the lesson plan and, using her telekinesis, began writing on the chalkboard. Cheerilee gave her a grateful nod, “Thank you.” Twilight smiled, “No problem. Thank you for letting me sit in on your class.” They worked in silence for a moment, before Cheerilee glanced at Twilight. “You were right.” “You noticed it?” Cheerilee nodded, “I’ve worked with foals long enough to know when one is hiding something from me. It was subtle, and I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t looking for it, but it was there; there’s something he isn’t telling us.” Twilight shook her head and sighed, “Whatever it is, it’s clear he isn’t going to tell me… I guess I’m just not close enough.” Cheerilee nodded, “The question now is: Is this any of our business? If he doesn’t want to tell us, he doesn’t have to. That’s his choice.” Twilight worked her mouth a bit before wilting, “… What am I doing wrong? I’ve been holding my hoof out in friendship, but he refuses to take it. Why?” Cheerilee placed her hoof on Twilight’s back, “Don’t worry, Twilight. You’ll win him over eventually. Is there anypony that you haven’t been able to befriend yet?” Twilight gave an amused huff, “There is… but I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you.” Cheerilee gave Twilight a quick pat before pulling away and returning to the papers on her desk, “… Keep that hoof outstretched, Twilight. It’s one of your greatest qualities.” Twilight stood in stunned silence for a moment, before nodding in thanks, a grateful smile crossing her face. “Apple Bloom!” The hushed shout and gentle shake snapped Apple Bloom back into focus. “Huh, wha-?” Scootaloo leaned over, “You alright?” Apple Bloom blinked a couple times as her thoughts recollected themselves, “Oh, yeah, Ah’m fine. Just… thinkin’.” “About what?” Apple Bloom glanced up at the front of the classroom, “Parody.” Scootaloo nodded, “Makes sense. Think he’ll be back some other time? Sounded like he had more to talk about.” Apple Bloom shrugged, “Prob’ly. He said somethin’ ‘bout talkin’ to us about them novacreons and their war.” She looked at Sweetie Belle, “Maybe he’ll tell us what they were tryin’ to accomplish?” Sweetie Belle cringed back a bit, “… I’m not sure I want to know.” Any further comment was cut off by Cheerilee calling for the class’s attention. A quick glance forward told Apple Bloom that Twilight had already left, and that Cheerilee was ready to begin class. With a half-hearted shrug, she picked up her pencil and readied herself for the lesson. The late afternoon sun hung in the sky as Apple Bloom trotted down the street. It had been fun playing with her friends at the park, you were never too old for classics like tag and hide-and-go-seek, but now she moved with purpose. For… not even 20 minutes, the burning question of what to do with her time when her friends were busy besieged her mind, tormenting her in the form of idle boredom. And in her time of need, an answer presented itself: Parody. Something about his endless tinkering harmonized within her soul. She knew she had found what she needed. So now she stood before his home, readying herself for the future. She could handle anything. She lifted her hoof to step forward. KABLAM Apple Bloom couldn’t help but flinch back as the front of the house seemed to explode outward; bursts of flame erupting out of shattering windows, a plume of smoke chasing the door as it tumbled off its hinges. She winced, ears flicking at the painful ringing as she looked up at the thick cloud of smoke that billowed out of the door. From within depths staggered Parody and a light green pegasus, both coughing violently, though Parody was laughing between each violent wheeze. The pegasus, Apple Bloom recognized her as Tinker Tool, the town mechanic, was covered in scorch marks and singed fur. Parody’s clothes were tattered, he was covered in burns, and glints of light reflected of bits of metal shrapnel embedded in his front, staining him red as blood trickled down his skin. Parody turned to glance back at his house, “… That felt excessive.” His voice snapped Apple Bloom out of her stupor, and she rushed forward, “Oh mah stars! Are you alright?!” Parody perked up, “Oh, hey, Apple Bloom!” He laugh-coughed as he gave her a dismissive wave, “Don’t worry, we’re fine,” he pulled a chunk of metal out of his shoulder. Tinker Tool cough-coughed as she gave him a light glare through her blond mane, matted, burnt, and ruined by the explosion, “Speak for yourself.” “Lighten up, that could have been way worse,” he pulled a piece of shrapnel out of his leg. Tinker winced as she rubbed at a burn on her leg, “That doesn’t help.” Parody turned to Apple Bloom, “So, what brings you by?” Apple Bloom blinked, “Erm, well, in class you mentioned that you were an engineer…” Tinker scoffed, “Not a very good one.” Parody smirked as he continued to pull shrapnel out of his body, “Don’t mind her, she’s just jealous that I got her thing working when she couldn’t.” Tinker glared at Parody, “It. Exploded.” Parody held out his arms, “Yeah, after working for five seconds. That’s five more seconds than you ever got.” “… Maniac,” Tinker turned away and lifted her leg to lick at one of her burns. Parody rolled his eyes, “Come on, you work with machines, you should know this: Failure is just as informative as success. We got it working didn’t we? Not we just have to work on making it not explode.” Tinker merely shot Parody one final glare before turning and trotting away. Apple Bloom watched her walk away, “… Is she gonna be alright?” “Yeah, she’s just rattled.” Parody smirked, “Apparently, it’s scary being caught in an explosion. Who knew?” Apple Bloom shot him a raised brow, wary. He glanced down, “So, you were saying?” “Well, ya said you were an engineer, an’ that ya built a lotta machines.” He nodded, “Correct.” Apple Bloom shrugged, “Ah don’t get to be around it a whole lot, but Ah’ve always found machines an’ stuff facinatin’.” Parody quirked an eyebrow, “Your point?” Apple Bloom looked up, “Can you show me?” “Things I’ve made, or how to be an engineer?” She shrugged, “Both, if yer willin’.” Parody smirked, “Sure, I don’t see why not,” he pulled a particularly large chunk of metal out of his stomach, “You could be like my little engineering partner.” Apple Bloom eyed the bloody metal, an inkling of doubt forming in her mind, “… Will it be safe?” Parody lifted his arm to gesture, but hesitated, pulling it to his chest as a thoughtful look crossed his face, “… I can give you a soft ‘maybe’.” He shrugged, “Really, it just depends on what we’re doing. I mean, building a nuclear reactor is considerably more dangerous than building, say, a catapult.” Apple Bloom flicked her gaze back to Parody, “Speakin’ o’ that, do ya think ya can do a better job keepin’ me safe an’ unharmed?” Parody raised his brow, “I didn’t realize I had to; I was under the impression that adults could take care of themselves.” Before Apple Bloom could retort, he continued, “Fine. Bar’s pretty low, but I’ll manage something.” He smirked, “At the very least, I’m sure I can keep you alive.” Apple Bloom could feel her ears folding back, “… That ain’t reassuring.” She could feel icy dread creeping in, “… What if ya can’t?” Parody shrugged, “Then I’ll find a way to bring you back; can’t be that hard.” He smirked, “Look, don’t worry, you’ll be fine. And if you don’t feel fine, run. I don’t care. Now, come on,” Ignoring the mess that was the smoldering front of his home, he waved her over as he turned and began to walk around the house, “Now that Tinker Tool’s gone, I can get back to work on my car.” Apple Bloom tilted her head, “Car?” Parody nodded, “Yeah, I’m sick of taking the train all the time, so I’m building a car.” “What’s a car?” “Think of it as a self-moving carriage.” Apple Bloom perked up, “Oh, like the Super-Speedy-Cider-Squeezy-6000!” Parody stopped and turned to face her, an incredulous look on his face, “The what?” “The Super-Speedy-Cider-Squeezy-6000. Some ponies named Flim an’ Flam tried to use it to take our farm. Ah remember it bein’ able to move without bein’ pulled.” Parody stared at her a moment longer before shaking his head, “That’s a stupid name.” He turned and continued walking around his house. Apple Bloom shrugged, trotting after him, “Ah thought it was alright; had a nice song an’ everythin’.” As they came around into the backyard, Apple Bloom’s eyes landed on a bare-bones metal frame resting on cinderblocks, a mix of machinery, tubes, and wires on, in, and around it, including the complicated box with cylinders that she had seen sitting inside Parody’s house. “… It don’t look like much.” Parody threw his hands in the air, exasperated, “It’s not done yet; gimme a break! I just started putting it together.” Apple Bloom winced, “Sorry.” Shaking his head, Parody grabbed a bunch of wires and laid down on a wheeled board, before rolling under the car. Only able to see his legs, Apple Bloom shifted on her hooves, uncertain. “… So, does Miss Tinker come here often?” Parody’s laugh echoed under the car, “More often than she’d ever admit.” Apple Bloom tilted her head, “Why do ya say that?” “Well, she doesn’t like to admit it, but I’m better with machines than she is. So, if she runs into something she can’t solve on her own, she comes to me.” Apple Bloom nodded, “So ya’ll’re friends?” “… Nah, I don’t think we are.” “Why not?” Parody laughed, “Well, I can think of a couple reasons; I’m fairly certain she doesn’t like hanging out with her ‘fix-it’ button. But on my end?” He paused, “… I think it’s ‘cause I’m projecting.” “Projecting?” “Yeah. Had an old friend named Tinker. Sometimes, I forget that she isn’t the same person… I have to say though,” he rolled out from under the car to give Apple Bloom a smirk, “He wasn’t nearly as easily ruffled by explosions.” His face turned thoughtful, “Then again, he did lose one of his legs to one, so…” he shrugged, before rolling back under the car, “Eh, maybe she’s got the right idea… Hey, can you hand me a wrench?” Blinking, Apple Bloom passed him a wench before settling in to watch him work, eyes burning with curiousity.