Chapter 9: Pranks and Banks and Tiny Tanks
As I slowly woke from the depths of slumber, I groggily opened my eyes, failing to stifle a yawn. After looking around the room for a second, I decided to ignore the fact that I was suspended upside down from the ceiling and tried to go back to sleep. I’d woken up in weirder situations, and, honestly, it was pretty comfortable. I was just about to doze off when as if on cue my uncle burst into the room, laughing and towing a very large rock with him.
“Oh that is a good one, Thom, I must remember that. Do tell the one about the armadillo and the pig who was a rabbi again. Actually, before you do that… What’s a rabbi?” It was at that point he noticed I was awake. “Oh wonderful, you’re awake! Baffle, you must tell me, how do you do it? I spent the last four hours trying to get Thom here some rainbow nachos, and all the oven would give me is perfect tens. Is it that hard to screw up? Are you just purposely failing the dismount to get them? You shouldn’t do that, you know.” I knew exactly what it was. That stupid oven was just kissing up to him. It wouldn’t dream of giving Discord anything less than a ten. I was, however, confused as to why Discord was trying to feed a rock.
“I hate to be a stick in the mud, but don’t rocks have this amazing thing going for them called being inanimate? Why are you talking to one? More importantly, why are you feeding one?” I knew I was going to hate asking, but he would probably just carry on with some sort of elaborate charade until I asked anyways.
Discord’s response was, to say the least, dramatic. I honestly couldn’t tell whether it was his normal sarcastic ways or if he truly was upset and he just couldn’t get the sarcasm out of his voice. “How dare you insult Thom and his family with such insults? They invite you into their own home, even throw a party in your honor, and you spit on them by calling them dull, dead, dreary, doohickeys.”
Family, what was he talking about? The only other thing in this room was a ton of rocks. Wait a minute, were they growling at me? I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Please tell me you didn’t-“
“What?” the father of chaos interrupted, smirking, “You think I brought them all to life myself? Well then, you thought right. What can I say? When we got back I had a big urge to go moonwalking.” He was talking about defiling the natural order of things, and all my dear uncle could do was smile like a maniac. “Odd? You think moonwalking a bunch of rocks to life is odd? Where’s your sense of fun? Besides, that isn’t half as impossible as some of the other things I’ve done. In fact, this is quite normal. There are actual spells that can do just this. You don’t need all the powers of chaos at your back. Anyways, we need to introduce you to the family.” He put down the boulder and tapped it affectionately. “You’ve met Thom here. He’s the mayor of this sweet little town. Over there’s his wife Candy, and, before you ask, no she is not actually made of rock candy. That’s just mascara. Next to her are his two darling little kids. Their names are Rock and Roll. Watch out for them. They like to pull the old gag where they switch their names to confuse you. They’re so good at it even they don’t know who’s who anymore.”
I knew what would happen if I interrupted, so I just hung there and smiled.
“That there is Granny Granite. Isn’t she just the sweetest thing? She’s so old she’s almost completely eroded away, but don’t let her fool you.”
I really hoped Discord didn’t see the twitch my eye was developing.
“The crusty old thing next to her is Uncle Ishale. He spent his days collecting barnacles as he searched fruitlessly for the great white rock that crushed his leg. Little did he know, it had disguised itself by growing a thick layer of algae. By the time he found the beast it had become a pitiful shadow of its former self, not even worthy of a valiant death.”
The rocks were on to me. I was fidgeting. I was twitching. I was a complete mess, but I still hadn’t said a word.
“I think that’s all of the mayor’s family. Now that we’ve taken care of the executive side of things we can start on the judicial branch of the government. This is Harry T. Stone. He’s the head of the municipal court system here, and a part-time magician.”
Sweet Celestia! Did he actually name every one of them?
“Yes. Also, quit complaining in your head. You know I can read minds. Why not say it to my face so I don’t have to invade the privacy of your mind? Anyways, where was I?”
…..
He finally finished. After six and a half hours of being introduced to rocks, he finished. I, of course, had to hang there the entire time. After a while, the names had started to get really weird. What kind of name was Bob, Josh, or John? There were thousands of other odd names like that too. When I asked them where he got them from he said that, after he had run out of rock jokes, he decided to take naming them seriously and give them names befitting a species as intelligent as a rock.
“Can you please let me down now?” I asked, “As comfortable as this must seem, I find that hanging from the ceiling gets old after a couple of hours.”
“But you make such a good disco ball,” Discord drawled.
“What the hay do you mean I make a good disco ball?” I bellowed. Honestly, six and a half hours was way too long a wait. I had things to do before our nightly round of tortures began. “Do you honestly think that makes any sense?”
“Do you honestly think a glow in the dark pony makes sense?”
It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about. I was still glowing with bioluminescence from last night. It was sort of odd to see me glow a sickly green color, instead of my normal navy blue. I took a minute to return my body chemistry back to normal. This, of course, rid the room of its only light source. The rocks were not pleased.
“Oh, shut up,” I barked, “You don’t even have any eyes.” The growl escalated to a snarl. I would have continued, but I heard them scraping about the floor. They apparently had the ability to move, despite lacking appendages of any kind. The rumbling continued ominously, and I slowly became more nervous. Suddenly, the rope snapped. I had about one second to scream as I fell, right into the waiting arms of my bed.
The lights turned on and the room burst into laughter. Besides the rocks, there were now about twenty balloons with the creepiest smile you’ve ever seen, a couple of chess pieces, and a certain dummy from the Canterlot Medical School.
“Please tell me that isn’t the dummy from the class on CPR.”
“I thought he should actually be able to enjoy his work.”
“His work is dying repeatedly by choking.”
“That’s one way of looking at it.”
Why was it a creature as impulsive as my uncle had been granted power over reality itself? I started to walk towards the door but curiosity stopped me as I thought of one last stupid question.
“I hate to ask, and I definitely don’t want to give you any ideas, but how are you planning on having your new species of intelligent rocks live on? They don’t exactly have the ability to reproduce.”
“That’s the best part!” my uncle said, cackling, “I taught them how to moonwalk!” As he said this, the little town of rocks all rolled together. Rising, they towered above me in the shape of a giant pony and began to moonwalk. I thought it best not to comment, and left the room.
As I left I heard my uncle say, “Take the day off! We have a lot of work tonight! Well, you have a lot of work tonight. I think your friends are down at Doughnut Joe’s.”
…..
The walk to Doughnut Joe’s was remarkably relaxing. It had been forever since I’d left the Dwair and visited the city below. The city had been warped from Discord’s chaos, just like the Dwair. Streets would toss and turn, not to mention being made from a variety of odd materials, and the streetlamps liked to get up and perform show tunes. Ice skates, climbing gear, and rubber ducks were just some of the tools you needed to get around. You could bounce along one street that was a trampoline, only to end up hitting a sheet of ice you had to skate for a mile, before having to climb a street that rose straight into the air. Imagine trying to live in a house turned sideways and about 300 feet up a vertical cliff. That wasn’t even the craziest part though. The roads liked to swap places. Luckily, a certain unicorn was kind enough to make and provide maps that constantly updated themselves to the citizens.
Doughnut Joe’s was one of the few places of Canterlot that had escaped Uncle’s chaos. After tasting the establishment’s legendary pastries, Discord had decided not to go overboard on redecorating it. The only thing he’d decided to add was a couple of fountains, one blue cheese and one chocolate milk. That way he could always stop by, terrify the costumers, and have a glazed doughnut dipped in blue cheese with a glass of chocolate milk. Chaotic beings have chaotic tastes. I guess that was why I dipped my doughnuts in peanut butter.
Stepping in the establishment, I scuttled over to my friends table and told them all about last night’s exploits. Ever since Soarin’s accident they had been badgering me about my training. Finally, to shut them up, I’d started telling them all about it. It felt pretty good being able to actually talk about all the horrible things Discord had done to me, and, surprisingly, they had actually been understanding about it all. In fact, they actually seemed intrigued by my adventures. The only problem was it could take hours to explain to them what I actually had done. I don’t know why, but it always took them forever to understand how I’d actually done any of it.
“You’re telling us you killed a psychopathic computer in your sleep?” Soarin asked as he downed his twenty-seventh doughnut. “You have to admit that sounds a bit on the crazy side, even for you.”
“For the last time, I wasn’t fully asleep. By splitting my consciousness I was able to keep half of myself in the dream, and send the other half to control my actual body.” I’d said this about ten times now. It was getting really annoying, considering how simple the concept was.
“But how does that work?” I obviously wasn’t getting through.
“Leave the guy alone Soarin’. If you don’t get it by now I doubt you ever will. Baffle’s obviously been through a lot. Right now we should just relax and listen to him.” That was Spitfire. She always seemed much more understanding than the others. It probably came from a lifetime of training the Wonderbolts. She didn’t question why I trained with Discord because she understood that sometimes a trainer had to push their students to extremes. She also understood how tough that could be on the trainee. It’s too bad she probably still couldn’t grasp the full breadth of what I’d been through.
“You know…” I mused. “I suppose I could show you what I went through. I could project my thoughts and memories of that night onto you so you could actually experience what I went through, but, to be honest, I haven’t told you everything. When I blacked out cutting BELLE from the system she lost control of things. The drugs may have saved my life, acting as an insulator as I cut through her wires, but when she lost control of them they caused some pretty terrible things. Nightmares so horrible that they would leave you a screaming mess on the floor. I’m still running damage control on the half of me that experienced those. You probably thought I just merged myself together afterwards but I didn’t. I had to leave a piece of myself buried so deep inside that I doubt it will ever see the light of day again.”
Oops. That was a bit too much. I was shaking from the memories I had brought up. My uncle had been right. Some dreams were not meant for sharing. I was never going to look at a pineapple the same way again, and don’t even get me started on the cupcakes and rainbows. Luckily, I knew exactly how rainbows were really made. Unluckily, I couldn’t say the same for cupcakes.
A depressing silence reigned for the next half hour as we sat and mulled over our delectable desserts. Thankfully, it was finally broken when Fancypants walked in. Fancypants was always busy with one kind of business or another. We usually only saw him once or twice a week, and even then it was usually only briefly. To see him in the doughnut shop meant that, for once, he actually had some spare time for us.
“Baffle, my boy, I thought I might find you here.” He was bright and cheery as always. It was a miracle somepony as rich and powerful as he was turned out so nice. Most of the successful ponies in Canterlot were absolute snobs. “I hear you’ve been up to your usual antics. Pranking and banking are two radically different things. You may spend all day bringing smiles to the town, but I get stuck in board meetings all day.”
I went to one of those board meetings once. It was the most boring thing I’d ever done, and I’d been banned after I’d decided to lighten things up. The look on Fancypants’ face as I was chased out of the building by everypony else had made it all worthwhile.
“You know, I’ve learned a lot of new tricks since the last board meeting I went to. That includes a way to disguise myself as somepony else. If you want, I could sneak in to one of yours and have some fun sometime.” I smiled maliciously at the thought of what I could do now. I could only have dreamed of pranks like that the last time I was there. Those snot-nosed business ponies wouldn’t know what hit them. “What do you say? Why not mix a little pranking and banking?”
There was no way the jolly fellow was going to pass up an opportunity like that. He may have the most boring job in the world, but that didn’t mean he liked it. A chance to liven things up in the office was irresistible to him. If I offered to do it every day of the week the only reason he’d refuse is that he would need to get at least some business done. Besides that, it was more fun to terrify those snobs with the fact that they had no idea when or where it’d happen again. If I did it every day they’d just end up taking it for granted and ignoring it.
“Would you really?”
“Of course I would!”
“By all means then, please go ahead. There’s nothing I enjoy more than watching the freedom you fellows have. Whether it’s flying up high as a Wonderbolt, or wreaking chaos with prank after prank. I only wish I could join you fellows more often.”
We all chatted amicably for a while. It was fun reminiscing on the past few weeks as we caught Fancypants up. He was surprisingly uninformed from being cooped up in his offices so much. He was particularly interested in our little fiasco at the coliseum since that was one of the few things he had actually seen. Apparently, wingless flight had completely flabbergasted the unicorns and earth ponies in the audience.
“You’re saying you can fly with mathematics?” For someone who worked with numbers all day he was suddenly rather gleeful. “Can you teach me how?”
The question was a bit surprising. I’d tried my hand at teaching how to will things into being a while ago. Most of the ponies I’d taught had ended up walking away with headaches. Spitfire, Soarin’, and a few others had picked up the basics, but anything really advanced left their heads spinning.
“Trust me Fancypants. It isn’t worth it,” said Spitfire. Soarin’ nodded in agreement before stuffing his face with another doughnut. “It took us five years to get it down, and even then it’s exhausting and very hard to do. To be honest, we’ve already forgotten all the specifics on it.” It was true. The Wonderbolts hadn’t been able to handle my version of flight very well, but Fancypants worked with numbers for a living. There was a chance he’d actually understand it.
“Hold on guys. Let’s give him a chance.” Fancypants, who had been frowning from the Wonderbolts’ verdict, perked up at this. “If he can understand the theory behind it he might just be able to learn it. Besides, it’s not as tiring as you think. I never had a chance to explain shortcuts to you guys. There are specific thought patterns you can use to lighten the amount of energy needed to achieve flight.” I looked at the Wonderbolts as I continued. “It would have taken years to explain to you guys because you’re pegasi, but the same concept applies to performing unicorn magic. It’ll probably be easier to teach Fancypants those shortcuts since he’s a unicorn. Before that, however, let’s see if he can actually grasp the theory. How much do you know of physics?”
“I took a couple courses at the university. I couldn’t understand any of the high level concepts, but I was good at mechanics.” That was encouraging, although Fancypants seemed a bit sheepish for some reason. All he needed was an understanding of mechanics.
“That’s good.” I continued. “Do you remember the basics of projectile motion? How the angle of launch, initial velocity, force of launch, and time passed affect the projectile? How the projectile acts at the zenith of the jump?”
“Yes, yes, and yes.”
“Okay then, here’s the basis. To achieve wingless flight one simply has to trap themselves in an endless jump. You have to keep yourself constantly at the zenith of your jump by modifying the initial starting time of your jump. Then by manipulating where the zenith is via changes in the initial velocity, angle, and initial force you will create a flight path. Does that make sense?”
Fancypants mulled it over for a bit before responding. “It sort of does, but I’d need to go back to my old textbooks to make sure I get it. I have a question though. How do I modify all those initial variables? Isn’t the point that their set when the jump begins? I’d have to change the past in order to change them, and that sounds like it takes a lot of energy. I don’t know if I could handle that. Could you just grow me a pair of wings?”
He actually understood it? That was surprising. What was more surprising is he caught on to the key to one of those shortcuts I mentioned. Maybe I just hadn’t taught the right ponies before, or maybe I was just getting my hopes up.
“Okay, I’m going to stomp the wing idea out of your head right now. Not only would such a transformation be traumatic if done instantaneously, it would consume an enormous amount of energy. I have nowhere near the amount of energy required, and, provided he even wanted to, I doubt Discord could resist giving you wings in very unusual and uncomfortable places. I could try gradually growing you wings, but I’d probably just get bored and fall asleep. Do you really want half-finished wings? Overall, I suggest forgetting about that idea. As to adjusting events in the past, that’s a matter of perspective. Most people view time as something that’s linear, but there are a few who have their own unique views on it. I honestly think that the way time behaves changes depending on your point of view, but I have neither the time nor the patience to explain to you why. You said you didn’t have a knack for high level conceptual stuff, so I’m simply going to teach you shortcuts to memorize. Picture that time is an illusion. If time is an illusion then there’s no need to make discrimination between past, present, and future. The order of events doesn’t matter. You feel you’re in the middle of a jump but in actuality you’re simultaneously at every point in the jump. Since you’re at both the zenith of the jump and the initial launch of the jump at the same time, you can modify both points just as easily. You don’t have to fully convince yourself this, but doing so would vastly improve your efficiency. All it takes is focusing on the idea. Does that make sense?” Fancypants blank stare was proof enough. “Don’t worry, we can try and find other shortcuts that match your philosophical bend. Sometimes different shortcuts require different perspectives and philosophies, but you’ll often find the philosophies needed to master shortcuts end up conflicting with one another. Even Discord is unable to organize his thoughts in such a way as to master all of them, so I doubt you will. There are just too many conflicting ideas at play.” It was hard to not crush his hopes. Shortcuts were very hard to master, and that was one of the simpler ones. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for this.
We continued to discuss things for a while, but then Fancypants had to go and look at the clock. “Oh dear, look at the time. I have to get going to another meeting. It’s going to be two hours of endless narcissistic droning and smashing my head on the table. Hey Baffle, does your original offer still hold?”
“You mean the prank extravaganza? You want to do it now?” I was practically giddy at the thought.
“Sure. I don’t see a problem with it. All you need is somepony to impersonate, and I have the perfect pony in mind.”
…..
We ended up having to stuff Jet Set’s body in a supply closet. His suit was itchy, and I was getting a crick in my neck from holding my head snobbishly high, but the charade should pay off any minute now. We’d only given Jet Set a weak sleeping potion, so he should be waking up any minute. He wasn’t going to like the chicken suit. I imagined the startled look of various clerks’ faces as the good for nothing snob barreled frantically down the corridor to reach us. I wondered if they’d end up calling security on him. As amusing as seeing Jet Set chased by a couple of security buffalo in tutus would be, that would interfere with the plan.
Finally, just as I was about to doze off from boredom, a scream announced the arrival of our feathered friend. A very agitated looking Jet Set burst into the room. His feathers were ruffled, and it appeared that in trying to escape from the supply closet he’d somehow stapled a couple papers to himself. The assorted bankers took one look at him, and then at me, and dived under the table.
“Look out! He’s got a pie!” Did they really think I’d stoop to something as low as a pie? That was so old school. I had something much more grand in store, and now that they were all in one place I could easily set off the first of my many traps. Fancypants and I jumped onto the table as I detonated the shaving cream bomb I’d planted beneath us. Covered in fluffy white cream, the richest ponies in Canterlot fled in unison from the room. Unfortunately, that meant they ran right into an army of razors. Razors in the Dwair tended to get a little crazy at the sight of shaving cream. They’d foam at the mouth, whipping themselves into a frenzy, before charging like animals to shave whatever they could reach. I still wasn’t sure how the razors had gotten mouths to begin with, but it wasn’t pretty. It was funny however.
As the terrified ponies ran through the building from the razors, they would end up triggering all the other traps I’d laid. Some would be tarred and feathered, and some would walk into helium filled halls. Their squeals of terror would reach notes high enough to shatter glass, and that was only the milder traps. No room was safe. When the bomb had triggered I’d morphed every office in the building into something unpredictable. Freezers with polar bears, caves that were bat lairs, and gator infested swamps were only a few of my additions.
My favorite was a room that closed in on you. It got smaller and smaller, until you were almost crushed, and then it cannoned you out into the sky with all the built up pressure. After being sent hundreds of feet in the air, the Wonderbolts would catch you and fly you down to the safety of the building. They actually brought them down to the room I was in, which only sent them scurrying back into the maze of traps. That was always funny. You’d think they would realize the safest place in the building was right next to me.
After about three hours of having my little guinea pigs scurry around, I thought it was about time I released them.
“Unleash the hounds!” I yelled dramatically, and pressed the big red button before me. A couple hoards of twenty foot tall guinea pigs were unleashed from various locked rooms into the halls. Fancypants had snuck some of the pheromones I gave him into the meeting’s buffet, and those guinea pigs were going to go wild soon, hopefully chasing all our little friends right out the front door.
“Shall we go watch?” asked Fancypants, chuckling.
“Yes, I do believe that would be proper,” I said as snobbishly as possible, with my held so high it almost allowed me to look behind me. We walked out of the building chuckling.
I honestly hadn’t expected them to call in the military. I didn’t even know Canterlot had a military anymore. It was supposed to have been disbanded when everypony was trapped with Discord in the Dwair. I also didn’t recognize the heaps of metal the soldiers were riding in.
“Do you like them?” asked Jet Set, stepping out of one of the machines, “They’re called tanks, and they’re the newest prototypes for mechanized weaponry. They’re ages beyond anything else on the planet.”
Well, that meant we were safe. From the little I saw they were poorly constructed, and, knowing the success rate of most pony inventors, they would probably just blow up when used. Ponies were not known for their advances in technology.
“You know,” I mused, “I should probably tear these things apart. They’re a threat to public safety.”
“You will do no such thing, peasant.” Great, it was Prince Blueblood, king of the snobs. “These are the only things we have to defend ourselves from our enemies right now.”
“What enemies?” I drawled, “Canterlot is trapped inside the mind of the father of chaos. There isn’t any sort of civilization to be our enemies in here. It’s just us.”
“They’re not for other countries.” I didn’t think it was possible for somepony to have a smirk that was more annoying than Discord. “They’re for you and your dear sweet uncle, just in case you decide to destroy what little we have left.”
A particularly strong breeze knocked one of the heaps over.
“I’m absolutely terrified.”
“That’s good to hear.” Apparently somepony had issues with sarcasm. You’d think being related to Princess Luna would have given him a sense of humor. I’d heard she was a riot at parties before that unfortunate incident. Getting possessed by a demonic force would put a crimp in anypony’s day.
“Goodbye, Baffle Babblinsca Buck.”
Oh, he did not just say that. No pony, and I mean no pony, used my full name. I could already hear the chuckles spreading in the crowd, even from my friends. Luckily, the spirit who gave me that horrid middle name happened to like it.
“Hey, Fancypants, remember when you asked how I had the energy to transform the entire building like that?”
“Yes. Why do you ask?” Fancypants was doing remarkably well containing his amusement at my name, although I could hear Soarin and Spitfire rolling on the ground laughing behind me. It was probably from the discipline needed to raise a properly mannered family in high society, and it was a discipline most of the other members of high society in the audience appeared to be currently lacking.
“Well, it turns out I lied. I needed to call in the big guns for that. Discord doesn’t come cheap, but he sure knows how to deliver.” It was wonderful to see Blueblood’s face as I said that.
“You brought your uncle in on this?” My friends seemed surprised, to say the least. I suppose it was a bit out of character, and, come to think of it, some of those pranks were a bit cruel in hindsight. It’s not like I’d really hurt anypony. Discord had set the whole thing up, but I had been in charge of the safeguards. Even if the razors were made of rubber, and the polar bears had been nothing but cardboard cutouts, what did it look like from the other side? I admit the gators had been real, but they had all been babies. They had no teeth, and it’s not like you can be gummed to death. Had I gone too far? They were only a bunch of spoiled ponies who got terrified at a little pie filling ruining their suits. It was something I’d have to consider, but, in the meantime, there was still the matter of the use of a certain name.
“Go fetch my uncle, and tell him it’s time.”
It was amazing how somepony as white as snow could actually manage to pale a couple shades. “What’s the matter, Blueblood? Cat got your tongue?” I couldn’t resist taking the phrase to its literal conclusion, and, after a rather large bout of coughing, Blueblood coughed up a kitten, and then he coughed up a rather angry looking tiger. Apparently my uncle hadn’t been able to resist temptation either. I wondered where he was hiding.
“We had one last gag planned. Uncle wanted to turn the city into a giant pinball machine, but I thought it was a bit extreme.” I crushed the heaps of metal with the twitch of a thought, and I molded them together into a giant pinball. “I’ve reconsidered my evaluation, and, under the circumstances, I’m going to allow it.” The crowd was no longer snickering after my last comment. “I’m going to have to ask you all to get inside for your own protection.” All the onlookers had begun to back away. Would they ever learn? “I didn’t mean to your houses. I meant inside the pinball. “ It was really fun to see their faces as the crowd realized they’d been caught.
It took a lot of persuasion, but they finally piled all in there. The sheer terror that had run rampant when Discord popped into being had been enough to get half of them on, and the others soon followed.
“I heard the good news. Are we ready?” He was bouncing up and down like a foal on Hearths Warming Eve.
“That depends on whether you went about transforming the whole town, even though I told you not to.”
“I am deeply offended that you would even think I wouldn’t go about doing whatever I wanted.”
That was all the confirmation I needed. As our poor victims rocketed forward, my friends and I sat on a rooftop and watched the chaos unfold. It was nice to relax for once.
“So…” began Soarin, “Your middle name is Babblinsca?”
“If you ever bring it up again you’re going to wake up in an alleyway, covered in makeup, and handcuffed to a particular stuffed bear in your closet. You won’t have any memory of how you got there, but the pictures the town will be passing out will say enough. Even the rocks will be talking about it for months.”
It was hard to tell if they were laughing at my name or my joke. Come to think of it, it was hard for me to tell if I had been joking. Something was definitely wrong.
Thanks to John Perry for proofreading.
This chapter was hard to write. It's surprising how hard it is to plan a properly chaotic scene. I'd originally planned on a duel between Baffle and Discord, but that had turned out too dark for what's supposed to be the humorous chapter. I also seem to be running into the problem of skipping certain necessary steps. Since I know how everything works in my head, I seem to be leaving certain important things out of the story. If something doesn't make sense please tell me. I want to make sure the readers can understand everything that's going on, and I can't catch the things that don't make sense because it all makes sense to me. Anyways, sorry about the lack of an update in forever. If you guys have any more rock puns please tell me. Those were really fun to make, and I barely scratched the top of the barrel. Also, what do you guys think of the flip-flop style? To be honest I'm trying to replicate that feel from Sheogorath and the Shivering Isles. You know, the lands of Mania and Dimentia? I always felt there were two different sides to chaos.