Normally a walk in the orchard does a pretty good job of clearing my head. After all, I was born and raised at Sweet Apple Acres. It's home and, while it may not be my destiny like it is for my brother and sister, I know I'll always have a place in my life for the farm. This time I had too many thoughts and feelings for a walk to sort out. All I'd wanted out of this weekend was to have fun with my friends. We were grown mares now and once the school year was done for me and Sweetie we'd have to start thinking seriously about the future. Sweetie's party was just supposed to be one last fling before we had to grow up for good. Why did it have to go and get so complicated?
I stopped at the edge of the orchard across the way from the house we'd built for Big Mac and Sugar Belle when they'd gotten married. It looks a lot like the house my brother, sister, and I grew up in, just a whole hay of a lot newer. Not a missing shingle, or crooked step, or loose nail to be seen. She's still painted up pretty as a picture, fresh and clean as anything on a farm can be. Even has a nice, sturdy fence with big, solid posts all the way around that don't have so much as a splinter out of place. Weeks and weeks of chopping, sawing, hammering, and generally making a big old mess to put that little slice of paradise together, all for my big brother and his blushing bride to have a place they could call home. Plenty of space for a new branch of the family to grow.
Maybe I should've just stayed over with them instead of at the boutique. Then Sweetie and Scootaloo would've gotten together and left me out of it… except that the moment I found out I'd probably have lost it anyhow. I groaned and buried my face in my hands. Scootaloo couldn't be right about me, could she? I couldn't be jealous, right? I slid my hands down my face. I needed to talk to somepony.
I love my big sister, but making a fuss was the best case, and I didn't even wanna think of a worst. Granny… well, I didn't know how Granny would feel about it. She never said she's against mares getting together, but older ponies got pretty strong ideas about that sort of thing sometimes. Besides, she's always a little out of it, and there was a lot to explain. That just left Big Mac.
I crossed the yard, climbed up the steps of his front porch, and rapped my knuckles on the frame of the screen door. It was good to see my handiwork was holding up. Hardly even a scuff on the paint.
“Coming!” Sugar Belle called. A clatter of metal pans echoed down the front hall. “Just a moment!”
I grinned and rolled my eyes. Seemed like Sugar Belle was always in the kitchen baking something. “Making up for lost time” she calls it. A few moments later she stepped into the hall.
“Apple Bloom! You're back early! Don't tell me you and your friends ate everything already?”
“Er, well, most of it,” I admitted sheepishly.
A glow of magic undid the simple latch on the door and swung it open. “I can whip something up for you in no time. Did they like the fritters?”
“Eeeyup, everypony liked 'em fine. Er, thing is, is Big Mac around? I kinda need ta talk to him.”
“I think he's just out chopping some wood for the wood stove. Granny Smith is going to be teaching me one of the older family recipes tonight.”
I smirked a little. “And y'all were worried she wouldn't like ya.”
Sugar smiled a little shyly. “We didn't think we'd see you until next week. Is everything okay?”
I rubbed my left arm awkwardly. “Sorta. I just need ta talk to him”
Sugar Belle's hands fidgeted at her waist, uncomfortably like Sweetie's did when she was nervous. “Family business?”
“Nah, y'all're family now too, ya know. It's…” I turned my eyes to the wall, “a mite personal.”
“Well, come on through. I'll let you out the back door and give you some privacy.”
I followed my sister-in-law through the house and out the back door. Sugar Belle quietly excused herself, shot her husband a sweet smile, and retreated back into the house without another word. I inched my way off the back porch over to where my towering brother stood by a pile of logs and the weathered old stump he uses as a chopping block.
He dressed pretty much like I did. Or, I guess it's more that I dressed like him. Denim overalls stitched with his mark on the flanks and, a tough, rusty colored flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up that shows off those big old arms of his. He don't mean anything by it other than practicality but, from what I hear, Sugar Belle's the envy of a lot of mares. His big, red hand picked up a short, fat log like it was nothing heavier than a plastic cup and set it on the stump. Both hands took hold of his axe, smoothly raised it high and then--
*Thwack!*
I moseyed over towards the corner of the fenced in yard where Mac was working as casual as I could. “Afternoon, Big Mac.”
“Afternoon.” He set another log in place.
“Choppin' some wood?”
*Thwack!*
“Eeeyup.”
“Mighty fine weather, ain't it?”
“Eeeyup.”
“Heard it, uh, heard they scheduled some rain fer next week.”
*Thwack!*
“Eeeyup.”
*Thwack!*
*Thwack!*
*Thwack!*
Big Mac left his axe embedded in the stump after his final swing. He slowly rolled his shoulders and neck and wandered over to the fence a few of his large paces away from me. Thick red fingers plucked a long stem of grass and stuck the end in his mouth while he settled into an easy lean against a sturdy post. When he pointed a sidelong look my way, the message was clear as day: “I know ya got sumthin' ta say, and I'm ready ta listen.”
I shifted around uncomfortably against my own post, toying with a long lock of hair up by my shoulder. This'd seemed a lot easier to do in my head. “Hey, Big Mac? You and Sugar Belle. Y'all're in love, ain'tcha?”
He smiled. “Eeeyup.”
“Yeah. 'Course y'are. All hitched up and everythin'. Y'all've-- y'all've got it all figured out, huh?”
“Nnnope. Reckon nopony does.”
“But, you 'n Sugar Belle, yer happy together, right?”
His smile got a little bigger and just a tad dopey. “Eeeyup.”
I scuffed at the grass with my boot and buried my hands in my pockets. “How'd ya do it? How'd ya-- how'd ya pick 'er?”
Big Mac thought for a few chews on the end of his grass. “Liked 'er.”
“That's all?”
“Eeyup.”
“But-- but-- You love 'er, don'tcha?”
“Eeyup. Now. Didn't start out lovin' her. Didn't marry her straight away. Just met her after AJ sent me off to that town sellin' some apples after she 'n her friends straightened 'em all out. Thought she was right nice and friendly. We got ta visitin' every time I went out that way. Y'know the rest.”
I hunched my shoulders miserably. “Lucky. Y'make it sound so simple.”
Big Mac's expression sobered. “It ain't.”
“Yeah.”
I didn't know what else to say about that. I still had plenty on my chest, but how the hay was I supposed to put it all in words? It was like one big, tangled ball of yarn, all knotted up inside me, and I couldn't find an end to pull on. My best friends both had their eyes on me and each other by the looks of things. I'd heard of love triangles but this was plum ridiculous.
“I was out in the orchard this mornin',” Big Mac said. “Over out toward the White Tail woods.”
I nodded absently. It took several seconds for what my brother was saying to sink in and run a chill down my spine. Me and Scootaloo had been out that way when we'd-- Uh-oh. “Er, did y'all… see anythin' interestin?”
“Nnope.”
I was almost relieved to hear that except that wasn't a nope nope. That was a 'you're asking the wrong question' nope. Living with Big Mac you learned the tell the difference. “Did y'all… hear anythin' interestin'?”
Big Mac turned his calm eyes on me, both of them. “Eeeyup.”
My cheeks burned. That big galoot knew what was going on the whole dang time! “Y'all were eavesdroppin'!”
“Nope. I was workin'. You two were shoutin'. Then you weren't. I didn't stick around to find out what y'all got up to after that.”
“Nuthin'!” I half shouted as quick as I could. Probably too quick.
“Y'all sounded mighty upset.”
I folded my arms defiantly. “It's nuthin'! Ya musta heard wrong.”
His jaw set just a tad. “I heard.”
“Y'all didn't hear nothin'! Ain't nothin' goin' on with me 'n Scoots! And that's final! So y'all can--”
“It was her smile.”
I came up short on what I'd been about to say. Big Mac wasn't looking at me anymore. He'd turned his eyes back west, out over the fields of corn that stretched out to the neighboring farms.
“Uhh, what?”
“Sugar Belle. Y'all wanted to know why I picked 'er. It was her smile.” He pulled the stem of grass from his lips, gently turning it over between two fingers. “I saw her smile every time I stepped in that shop and I never got sick of it. Got to bein' that all I wanted was to see that smile. The way her nose scrunches up when she laughs. The way she turns her head. Before I knew it, I was stickin' around just so I could watch her work, listen to her talk, and see that smile.”
Big Mac pushed off the fence post and dusted off the back of his overalls with his free hand.
“That's a part of love, Apple Bloom, just… bein' there cause ya don't want to be anywhere else but there. 'Cause ya wanna see 'em. 'Cause ya wanna hear 'em. 'Cause there's a whole heap of little tiny things ya love about 'em that ya just can't put your finger on 'cause there's so many they add up to the whole pony.
“There's a whole lot more ta love than that but that's where ya gotta start. Ya gotta wanna be with 'em just 'cause it's them and not cause of what yer doin' together. I can be washin' dishes with Sugar Belle and be happy.”
“But, Big Mac, that just sounds like bein' friends, don't it?”
“Sugar Belle is my friend. She's just more'n that, too.” He fell quiet again after that, just looking at me with those stupid calm eyes of his. I looked away, back out over the fields.
Friends.
Sweetie and Scoots were the best friends I ever had. Sure, we had our own interests, our own hobbies, but it felt like the important things only happened when we were together. Even when we'd sorta pulled apart a little just after getting our marks, we'd ended up drifting right back together again because that's just how things are supposed to be. We may be different types of pony, and Celestia knows we didn't always agree on everything, but we're still three of a kind. Without the two of them I had no idea what I'd do.
And there sure wasn't anypony else I felt the same way about. It wasn't like I hadn't tried, neither. I'd tried to make myself like ponies so many times, but nothing had ever happened. I could look at a pony and know in my head that they were good looking. I could know they were charming or interesting or whatever else a mare could want. Except I never wanted them. Not ever. While most of the other girls, including Sweetie, were giggling and whispering about the colts at school I was always just… sitting there, not understanding a word of it, doing my best to bluff my way through, and wondering why I just didn't care the way they did. And, all the while, I did my best to ignore the only two ponies I did feel something about. Because they were mares, because they were my friends, because it was so strong it scared the living daylights out of me every time I looked in those eyes or saw that smile.
Because… it'd never mattered what we were crusading for. It'd never mattered where we were. It'd never mattered who we were helping with their mark. What mattered was that we were doing it together. Me and them.
I uncrossed and recrossed my arms once or twice. My ears and tail both flicked, and the toe of my boot dug at the ground. There was something that needed saying.
“Big Mac?”
“Yup?”
“I… think I might be in love.”
“Eeyup.”
“It's complicated.”
“Eeeyup.”
“It's real complicated.”
“Eeeeyup.”
“Y'all ain't upset with me, are ya?”
“Nope.”
“Even if I-- Even if I like--? Y'know-- If I were--?”
Big Mac turned to face me properly. Two long steps was all he needed close the distance until I had to crane my neck to look him in the eye. Being the tallest Crusader still puts me head and neck below Big Mac. His big, thick arms wrapped around my shoulders and reeled me in for a firm hug.
“I don't care who or what ya like. So long as you're happy and they treat ya right, nothin' else matters.”
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I nuzzled into my brother's chest and hugged him back as tight as I could. “I love ya, Big Mac.”
Big Mac's chin rested on the top of my head. “I love ya, too, Apple Bloom. You goin' back to Sweetie Belle's?”
“Tomorrow. We're gonna talk it all out tomorrow.”
“Y'need someplace ta stay tonight?”
“Just fer tonight. Don't feel up ta tellin' AJ right now. Not 'til I know for sure what I'm gonna tell her.”
I could feel Big Mac's approving nod against my head. After a short while longer we pulled apart, Mac's hand still lingering on my left shoulder.
“Come on inside now and let Sugar Belle feed ya up.”