//------------------------------//
// Two Times Around 
// Story: The Olden World 
// by Czar_Yoshi 
//------------------------------//

"Senescey, no..." Felicity sniffed, completely hunched over Senescey's body in the stairwell. "Senescey..."

Valey managed to unfreeze first, whirling on Gazelle. "Hey! What did you do that for!?"

"Stay out of this," Gazelle warned, reaching the bottom of the stairs. "All of you. This is between me, Lord Gyre and my three wayward minions. It has nothing to do with you, and you want it to stay that way."

Larceny placed a restraining, shaking hoof on Valey's back as well. "He's right."

"Senescey..." Felicity continued weeping.

"Bananas to all of this. These are my friends." Valey glared at the prince, taking a step forward anyway. "You lay one claw on them, on our boat or anywhere else, and it's personal, buddy. You've just messed with the wrong... Woah!"

Suddenly, Valey's legs locked up, and she pitched forward and went sprawling on her face. "Ow! What the-!?"

"Sorry," Larceny apologized, withdrawing her hoof. "Nobody move. Gazelle is right. We were in deep with both him and Gyre and many others as well, and if that takes us down right when we were almost free, you are not going down with us." She kept her voice even, bangs hiding her eyes and the rest of her face dark and pained.

"What is the meaning of this?" Shinespark demanded, not advancing but holding a ready stance. "Explain to me why there are multiple ponies dead on my floor within seconds of each other."

Gazelle gave a tortured, exasperated sigh, pointedly louder than Felicity's sobbing. "You want the pretty, friendly version? She nobly sacrificed herself to rid the world of a greedy clod who was down here for who knows why, I just spared her a much more painful execution by Garsheeva and all of you are witnesses who can testify the other two had nothing to do with it and, if they're lucky, let them not suffer for their sister's mistake." He reloaded his gun. "But right now I'm not feeling terribly rational, and the explanation that these three got high on friendship and offed their former employer while forgetting who they still work for sounds so much more appealing."

Larceny growled, but held her ground.

"Let me up, you idiot! He's gonna shoot Felicity!" Valey struggled against her floppy legs, unable to rise or get any traction. "Nnngh!"

Gazelle twirled his weapon, giving Valey a stand down look. As he did, Felicity looked up, craning her head over her shoulder as she coddled Senescey's body. "Don't even think about it," Felicity warned.

"Who, me?" Gazelle stepped up in her face, grinning like a predator who was forced to settle for a smaller kill than he wanted and prepared to make up for it. "Oh, I don't think so. You..." He sank his claws into her shoulder, pulled her bodily off of Senescey, and threw her on her back, earning a cry of pain. "You've just scuttled years of effort spent trying to corral this unruly empire and present my sister with a nation that's worthy of her inheritance instead of a bunch of simple-minded, infighting slobs like the one you couldn't let live however many more paltry months it would take! We were on the doorstep of victory!"

To punctuate his point, he shoved a paw down on Felicity's barrel, pinning her in place.

"No... Let go..." Felicity gasped at the pressure, struggling to remove his leg from her midsection. "Foal...!"

"Get off her!" Valey roared, flopping on the floor like a fish.

"Stop," Shinespark warned, lighting her horn. "These two are under asylum from Ironridge."

Gazelle wasn't listening to either of them. His pupils had shrank to slitted pinpricks, and were slowly widening until they filled his entire eyes, an expression of kittenlike joy overtaking his face. "Aha. Hahahaha! That's it! We can fix this. You're brilliant." He grabbed Felicity by the shoulders, lifted her until she was dangling completely off the ground, and nuzzled her hard. "That little illicit Stormhoof foal of yours Geribaldi is being such a coward about owning up to is now officially a product of your unscrupulous liaisons with the recently deceased. Congratulations, you're growing the new Lord Gyre."

Valey felt Felicity's calming aura flicker faintly, but it was unable to manifest in her shocked state. After the last few minutes' events, she couldn't even speak.

"Everything is better," Gazelle sang, mood swinging like the gybe on a ship mast. He flipped Felicity on his back, still too stunned to move, then pounced atop Lord Gyre's corpse in the engine room door. "Now all we have to do is get all the evidence back to the castle, let things explode, let things settle, probably get poor little you quarantined so you don't run away with Gyre's heir, I don't have to take that miserable job..." He started dragging the big carcass towards the stairs. "How lovely."

Shinespark looked like she was going to be sick. Harshwater watched impassively, Gerardo had vanished, and Valey kept shouting on the floor. Larceny frowned. "So you're taking both of my sisters instead of just one."

Gazelle carelessly shrugged. "Oh, you can have her back. Eventually. After I'm not the new Lord Gyre and have bought all the time I need."

"And me?" Larceny raised an eyebrow.

"Pfft. Who cares what you do?" Gazelle spat. "You're free. Out of this whole mess. That's what I was initially coming here to arrange, wasn't it? Go run around and enjoy your life, or something."

Larceny watched him coldly and evenly. "I hate you."

"Many do." Gazelle smugly got the corpse held in a way he was happy with, then dragged it over to Senescey. "Fortunately, leaving bitter rivals is a habit of mine. It tends to provide good entertainment for whenever they catch up. See you around..."

With that, he leaned down, clasped the scruff of Senescey's neck in his jagged teeth, and lifted her, too. His wings spread on the landing, and in an immense show of aerial power, he lifted off, soaring through the door and into the night with Felicity and both bodies in tow.

"Get back here!" Valey screamed, flailing. "GAZELLE!"

"What just happened?" Shinespark whispered, horn going dim as her demeanor started to crack.

"The worst day of my life." Larceny's head turned down, and she walked limply towards the library chairs.





With a rush of wings, Gazelle braved the storm, soaring past dozens of ships until he landed on another, dropping the bodies and strolling up to bang on the door. "Honey, I'm home!"

The door opened to reveal Meltdown in her sleek, post-pirate-ship armor. "The teleportation guild is ready, as are the power distribution stations. How did it go?"

"About as planned," Felicity sighed, slipping off Gazelle's back and landing on her hooves. She gave both of them a warning glance, going to sit by Senescey. "Valey will have all of our heads for this, you know. You underestimate her if you think she'd settle for anything less."

Meltdown moved to check Senescey as well, feeling for a pulse and then checking breathing. "The rain is bringing her about. Should we wait until she's awake before leaving?"

Felicity shook her head. "Larceny is good at her job. She'll buy us the time we need. I just hope you two are ready. Tonight, it's do or die."

"Hah. You leave that to me." Gazelle's eyes sparkled. "This night is going to be perfect."





"Odds that she survived? Zero." Larceny covered her eyes with her mane, Shinespark standing across from her and not knowing what to do. "We know our weapons, and that one was designed to kill. And even if it hadn't been a perfect shot at point blank, do you think he'd let her live? You heard what he said. Someone needs to take the blame for Lord Gyre, and better her than all of us."

"Better her than all of you?" Shinespark whispered. "You can casually think that about your own sister's death?"

Larceny faintly shrugged. "Growing up in Gyre does things to a pony. You're not likely to see me weeping and making a show of mourning. I'm sorry if that bothers you. It's the way I am."

"Yeah, well, you don't speak for all of us!" Valey was aggressively flopping towards her, making painstaking progress. "Now let me up this instant! Bananas, we gotta go after them and save Felicity!"

"We?" Larceny frowned. "I probably will once they've lowered their guard, but not you."

"Larceny is right," Harshwater apologized. "This is the way things are in a war zone. They're gone, and if Felicity comes back it won't be through anything we do. That's just a reality you have to learn to live with."

Shinespark fixed her with a shaken glare. "But my ship is not a war zone. Those aren't the rules we want to live by!"

Harshwater coolly met her gaze. "Nobody wants to live in a war zone, but being invaded gives you no choice. The only way to keep your sanity is to accept that and move on. I know what ponies look like who can't."

"Bananas, let me up!" Valey continued to flail.

Larceny just sighed. "See to what you can see to. That's how it works. I'm sorry." 

"How what works?" a sightless Starlight asked, standing in the hallway.

Valey shot her a loop, ceasing her struggles momentarily. "Go back to your room, kid. Stuff's happening out here."

"I'm aware," Glimmer said, wandering up to Larceny and Valey. She stared the blue mare straight in the eye, somehow knowing exactly where she was without eyesight. "It was loud. We all heard, we're all worried and Starlight is this close to going to do something about it herself, because that's what she does when nobody else can."

"Oh, I could, if only someone would turn my legs back on." Valey glared up at Larceny. "Hello, you remember my resume, right? I've infiltrated Stormhoof before, and I can do it again. Let me at them."

Larceny frowned. "Felicity just got taken to one of the most fortified castles on the continent. Fighting Gazelle and freeing her when she was here would have made every single one of us enemies of the Empire. Trying to get Felicity back now would do the same, whether you can get to the top of that tower and back or not. Like I said, I'm still considering it. It's easily possible thanks to Gazelle leaving the lights out for us. But being enemies of the state is not something I'm about to let you do."

"Yeah?" Valey propped herself up as far as she could. "And what if I want to? Bananas, this empire is dumb. It's given me a lot of garbage, is now giving my friends worse garbage, and I would rather steal Felicity back and punch Gazelle's dumb face and have to fly all the way back to Ironridge and live out my life there than keel over and watch this happen to you. I'm serious, I wanna do it."

"It's reckless and stupid and unnecessary," Larceny countered. "You are not invading that tower for our sake."

Valey grinned, eyes burning. "Yeah, that's the point! It's also what I'm best at, and I just got a really big kick from a very good friend to put more faith in myself and my ability to pull stunts like this. So what if this is a test? Me versus the Empire? I'm down. I already cleaned two clocks at once in the tournament. What's a few hundred trained soldiers more?"

Harshwater looked slightly afraid. "She's completely serious," she warned. "She can and she will. I've been on the other end of that fight before."

"Valey..." Shinespark hesitated. "You know Felicity better than any of the rest of our crew." She nodded apologetically at Larceny. "I don't know how much I trust her, myself, but I do know injustice when I see it. Larceny, let her up. This is something she has to do."

Larceny gave her an incredulous look. "Attacking Stormhoof on our behalf. In full view of the Empire. When there could be an easier way by waiting, since you know Felicity's life isn't on the line because Gazelle says he needs her foal."

"I don't know anything about her foal," Shinespark answered. "I just know what my friend is capable of. And she's right. She made it up that tower once before, while crippled by a monk and also while refusing to attack a single guard."

"Yeah, I was playing pacifist," Valey added. "This time, if those Everlaste goons are as bad as you say they are, I won't mind knocking a few heads. Let me up, please?"

From the hallway, Jamjars cleared her throat, appearing behind Glimmer. "You and your sisters killed the guy in the first place, didn't you? You were hasty, your mistake. So maybe you owe it to her as an apology to let her go beat everyone up?"

Larceny sighed loudly. "We had a long history with Lord Gyre even after leaving his province twenty years ago, and none of us had any love for him before that either. That was personal business, and not anything to do with you." She looked down at Valey. "Why are you trying to put yourself this far on the line for us? You could have to leave the Empire. I can't guarantee anything if you make an enemy of Gazelle."

Valey blew a raspberry. "So you three talked it over, decided you liked the way we do things enough to throw in the towel with Gazelle and come join us, yet you don't even know how we work well enough to remember that friends help friends? It's not every mare for herself, here. You've gotta be pulling my leg."

Larceny winced. "Think it over first. You're all in shock and not thinking clearly. Anyone healthy would be after witnessing that."

"Congratulations, no one ever said a flattering thing about my state of mind!" Valey grinned. "Come on, please."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No!" Larceny raised her voice. "It's not worth it!"

"Screw that and screw you." Valey's face hardened. "Bananas, this is your sister on the line! Stop giving up on her!"

Larceny rolled over and faced the other way.

Valey's brow furrowed in frustration, thinking of what to press next... when Crystal appeared in the hallway, looking intensely uncomfortable. "I'm in labor," she announced. "Please take me to Izvaldi. I need my Percival..."

Shinespark blinked hard, staring at Crystal's swollen belly. "This really isn't a good time..."

"And this kind of thing doesn't care about convenience," Crystal growled, pressing a hoof to her womb. "My child is coming!"

Glimmer was suddenly at Valey's side. "She can unlock you," she whispered, loud enough that Larceny could hear.

"Sweet! Hey, Crystal!" Valey's head shot up. "Listen, Larceny just monked me, but if I can get un-monked I've got a real important thing to do that involves this ship getting as far away from Stormhoof as possible super fast since it'll probably bring down some goons on our heads. Including back to Izvaldi. A little help, here?"

Crystal stared blankly at her... and before she could respond, Larceny's hoof reached down and tapped Valey's shoulder blades, and suddenly her legs worked again.

"Fine. If you're going to be that stubborn about it..." Larceny sighed, then put on a grim smile. "Having some help would be welcome. I hope you enjoy being an outlaw."

"I don't know Mistvale arts..." Crystal said.

Larceny growled and facehoofed, but didn't try to stop Valey again. Glimmer winked, strolling away down the hall.

"Okay, quick planning!" Valey hopped to her hooves, beginning to pace. "We've got two ways of doing things: being sneaky since the lights are dim, and fighting our way through. I can do either, but let's say I've got my preference. Larceny and I are going, right? That leaves Harshwater and... Who else knows what they're doing with you?" She pointed a wing at Crystal.

"Amber might," Harshwater quickly offered.

"Neat, so you guys get the ship heading for Izvaldi, top speed." Valey nodded to Shinespark. "We're already ruining Gazelle's day with Lord Gyre, so it shouldn't be a big deal if Percival disappears with her and their kid. I'll take a sound stone, so we'll stay in touch, but you'll probably find us hiding out at Wallace's cave. After that? Screw everything in this place, we're heading for Ironridge. Maybe we'll go to Yakyakistan, who knows. Anywhere but here. Sound good?"

"Do what you do best." Shinespark nodded. "Do you want Starlight's sword?"

"Uhhh." Valey winced. "It's super strong, but kind of a liability too... Ah, bananas, I'll take it. Jamjars, get me that."

Shinespark quickly stepped away towards Starlight's room, and Valey nodded. "Right. Any last important ideas, anyone else? Crystal, you okay?"

Crystal was stuck in an extended grimace, wings wrapped around her belly. "What does it look like? Just hurry..."

"Right. Hurrying. Time to kick some faces." Valey grinned as Shinespark returned with the sword, exchanging it for a sudden, surprise kiss on the cheek. "...That's for good luck. And I'll need my hat. Bring it, bad guys."





Rain pummeled down around Valey as she rose like a specter in front of the gates to Stormhoof Keep, beret tilted down to cover her eyes. A full platoon of Everlaste guards braved the weather in wait, readying their spears as she approached. "Who goes there after curfew?"

"Hey there, ladies and gentlemares," Valey greeted, tilting up her cap before the all-griffon platoon. "Digging the emergency protocol, but I'm needed in the war room as soon as possible. Stand at attention and clear a path."

"Emergency protocol?" one drilled.

"State your name and identity!" another barked. "No sarosians are military officers."

Valey rolled her eyes. "So whoever was supposed to be briefing you is slacking, eh? Lord Gyre was just assassinated. Something about a dispute with the mare who's in charge of making up for the completely embarrassing way there are no lights in this place. Felicity? She just got fired for it, I'm the hire to replace her, and every second you louts slow me down, this castle could be in danger of a sarosian pirate invasion."

The guards blinked at one another. "Lord Gyre was assassinated?"

"All the more reason to stick to protocol," another decided. "No sarosians, and no admittance after dark. You'll have to go through official channels, ma'am."

"Welp. I tried to do things the nice way." Valey's eyes gleamed. "And buddy, believe me, I'm as official as they come."

She dove into the shadows, swimming beneath the guards and their rain-extinguished torches, clear to the other side of the door.

As several panicked shouts erupted from the other side of the locked doors, Valey loudly laughed, giving away her position... then swam upward on a darkened inner door panel. Clicking sounds came from the lock mechanism as she climbed higher, before slipping through the crack between the majestic double-doors and dropping on her unsuspecting opponents from above.

Schwinnng! One circular slash felled every last one of them, Valey landing neatly and re-sheathing her sword. "Congratulations," she declared, standing among the paralyzed. "You dudes are under attack. Wouldn't wanna be ya. Let's see here..." She picked out the smallest griffonness in the pack, held them up, quickly ensured their Everlaste uniform was undamaged, and then stripped them of it, putting it on herself.

"How do I look?" Valey asked the stunned, disrobed griffon, taking a moment to pose. "Cheesy? Feels a little low-quality. Meh. You look cuter without this. See ya!"

With that, Valey was gone. The entrance hall to Stormhoof was long, high-ceilinged and dark, with several dormant chandeliers spaced equally down its vaulted ceiling. Valey spread her wings, soaring to a third-story balcony before ducking into a corridor with a flat roof. Not about to waste time looking for a staircase, she stabbed the sword into the ceiling, swept it in an inverted cone, and dodged out of the way as a huge chunk of rock crashed free, almost masked by a peal of thunder. "Yeah! Going up in the world!"

Valey flipped through the opening into another corridor... right into the faces of a line of marching guards. The griffons were dumbstruck by someone carving away the floor from below, and before they could react, she stabbed the leader in the face and shoved her into the others.

"Nyahaa! Wouldn't wanna be ya!" Valey darted forward, pressing her sword like a skewer through the narrow space as the guards piled up like dominoes, utterly unable to avoid her. She landed behind them with a flourish, leaving a pile that nearly blocked the corridor. "Wow, you're all terrible. Or this thing's strong. Maybe I should use it more often..."

One griffon she had somehow missed lunged at her from the pile, and without even looking she flipped into a spin, roundhousing him in the face. Rather than stab this one too, Valey pinned him against a wall, breathing against his face. "Fastest way to the top. Where is it?"

The griffon started to hyperventilate. "I'm a new recruit! This is my first deployment out of the academy, please don't kill me!"

"Fastest. Stairs." Valey snaked her head from side to side, preventing him from looking anywhere else.

The griffon immediately lost control of himself, pointing a wing to the right and sobbing. "Wuss." Valey got up and walked away.

The corridor quickly ended in a room that was two stories high, leaving a tempting ceiling for her to carve another hole in. Valey launched into a storage room, making another hole and finding herself in a dressing room, suddenly keenly aware of how much her dripping stolen uniform was doing to help her bluster her way through. "Hmmm..."





"Emergency meeting, called to order." Gazelle tapped a gavel, standing piously behind Lord Stormhoof's desk in the war room at the top of the tower. Several of the seats were filled by sleepy-eyed Stormhoof generals, though no other sphinxes were present save for Gondolus Gyre's giant corpse. "You can probably see why."

"Important details, Gazelle," a stern-looking general said. "When, where and how?"

"The chair recognizes General Gorgenheim," Gazelle replied, bowing curtly. "Within the hour, I found his body on a random dock, and a poisoned throwing knife, the kind regularly employed by assassins in Gyre itself. But you see, I'm much more interested in the who and the why."

"That's for a trial to decide," the bushy-browed Gorgenheim replied. "As well as whether it was your fault so you could inherit his province."

Gazelle almost gagged. "Oh, please. Who wants to rule a dump like Gyre? That's actually why I dragged his corpse up here now instead of waiting like a reasonable person for morning. There's a slight hitch with me assuming rulership of Gyre, you see."

"You're speaking to an audience that doesn't care, son," General Gorgenheim dismissed. "That's decided by the Council of Lords."

Gazelle sighed and leaned frustratedly on the desk. "Fine, we'll wait for more royalty to arrive..."





"Ohhhohoho!" Valey chuckled, having devoted five seconds to cutting the uniform off, a minute to drying her fur and straightening her mane, and thirty seconds more to scanning the room's available dresses. Whatever psychological advantage she would give herself, she would take, even with all the sword's power. And with the level of training the enemies she had mashed so far displayed? Getting stomped by someone in a dress would be either so eye-catching or so demoralizing, they might just stop fighting altogether.

"Yep. This one's good. I dig it." Valey squirmed into a sparkly, black tube dress that hugged her chest and had a high slit for her cutie mark, yet the train and leggings weren't quite long enough to trip her. She did several flips, testing her mobility, and nodded contentedly. Was she having too much fun showing off, being rude to her opponents and not taking a castle invasion seriously? Probably. Larceny had likely left her behind long ago. But like Larceny had said, Felicity wasn't in mortal danger as long as Gazelle needed her foal. If this was her parting gift to the Griffon Empire, she wanted every loser who crossed her path to feel it.

She burst out from the dressing room, running with quieted hoofsteps and relying on her cutie mark to steer her towards an encounter rather than away. Fate soon obliged, putting her face-to-face with another patrol.

"Who goes there?" the lead guard asked, squinting at her. "What the...?"

"Oh, hi, uh... darling?" Valey blinked, trying to talk fashionably like Felicity would. "I really must... Bananas, look, it's stupidly undignified being down this low. I was staying up in the top of the castle. Suites. You know. Friends with someone called Felicity? Rented one for me? And I was enjoying some fine... whatever you dudes drink that's fine, when I suddenly fell out of my window. Got kinda soggy. So take me back to my room right now and let me get a hot bath, or I'll hit you with my purse."

The guards all looked at her with stupefied expressions... before keeling over laughing, bending down and slapping the floor or leaning against walls. The leader, still laughing, met her eyes and managed, "You're under arrest."

Valey sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that game's my favorite." Then she kicked him in the knee.

As the guards slowly realized she intended to fight, Valey swept out the sword, and then it was too late. Another downed patrol... She yawned. Felicity must have been a genius if no one had invaded Stormhoof before.





"And the point is, she is pregnant with Lord Gyre's spawn because fate smiles on me sometimes." Gazelle held Felicity out before the desk like a frustrated doll, pointing to her stomach before a crowd of skeptical onlookers.

"Gazelle, this isn't important right now," Lord Stormhoof sighed, having joined the meeting late and looking deeply uncomfortable about any discussion concerning Felicity's foal. "We know you don't want to become the new Lord Gyre. Stop throwing a fit and leave the determination of heirs for proper proceedings."

Gazelle looked indignant. "I'm sorry, wait? Excuse you? In case you weren't aware, Felicity and her sisters were trying to flee the Empire. Don't ask me why, ask her. But it's hardly relevant. Maybe the news that a province lord has died doesn't stir you as much as it should have, but how about hearing that your favorite defense contractor wants to resign?"

Lord Stormhoof raised an eyebrow.

"...It's true," Felicity sighed. "My sisters and I are finished. We were at the Ironridge embassy when Gazelle caught up to us after discovering what had become of my former... partner. He's one of the few who knows of our liaison and its fruit."

Stormhoof narrowed his eyes.

"We had a lot of impetus to leave," Felicity continued, "and still do. Tell me honestly, Lord Everlaste. Are you going to stand for me remaining in this castle's line of defense, knowing who I've been intimately consorting with? I'd be fired anyway the moment the results of a medical-"

"Nonononono don't say that!" Gazelle frantically shushed her with a wingtip. "Nobody's getting fired, right, Everlaste old pal? She's pivotal to this castle's defense."

Lord Everlaste gave Felicity a distrustful look. "Gyre is not a province that does honest business. This isn't a good strike for her reputation, Gazelle. She's already here on your word alone."

"Oh, so she is fired, then." Gazelle held a paw to his breast, looking wounded. "Well, it's your castle, not mine. Not my loss if this place gets taken over by pirates without her around. But it is my loss if she hightails it with this heir, and if I were her, I'd be running as fast as I could right now."

Lord Stormhoof sighed again. "She can be placed under watch tonight. Gazelle, whatever plan you're up to is riding on petulance alone. Please drop this for the morning."

Gazelle stood up, carrying Felicity beneath one wing, and walked away. "Well, I see how it is. No one even likes Lord Gyre enough to care that he's been murdered. It's all Felicity this, 'Gazelle you're inheriting Gyre' that, blah blah blah blah blah..."

As he wandered toward the door, Lord Everlaste's brow creased. "True words, but he has a point. How did Lord Gyre die?"

Gazelle was back at the desk in a heartbeat, grinning toothily. "Oh, I'm so glad you asked."





"Elevator shaft! Score!" Valey crowed, finally discovering what she had been looking for. A bit of shadow sneaking and she was through the doors, another pile of paralyzed guards behind her, and the stories fell away like turning pages as she flapped onward in her ascent. The dress was starting to bother her, but it was bothering her enemies more, so she didn't bother taking it off. Sword clutched in her jaws, she darted to the very top of the shaft, punched a dimly-glowing emergency light to break it, and slipped out through a door.

This level did not have guard patrols. Instead, the guards had stations, so that when she emerged she was immediately spotted by three of them. All the targets were in different directions, and these were far smarter than the ones on the lower floors: rather than rushing her, they shouted and went to get help.

"Yeah! Tremble in fear!" Valey gloated, strolling forward. She tasted the air, smelling only wet batpony and pondering where to go next. There would be reinforcements soon. She couldn't stomp her way through everyone who saw her anymore. The alarm would be raised, and soon she would have to fight through every last guard in the upper reaches of Stormhoof... She licked her lips. Time to pay the province back for her first ascent.

It didn't take long for the first set to arrive. Ten of them, they leveled their spears at her, and Valey responded by holding the sword where they could see it. "Stand down," they ordered. "That is improper entry."

Valey yawned. "That the worst you can hit me with? Yeah, it is. And listen, you know me: Admiral Valey. I'm Felicity's friend, I've been up here to testify, I clean everyone's clocks in the tournament. Right now, you guys have someone I want back. So you can either be a friendly escort and show me around, or get ready to taste a whole lot of pain."

At least some of these griffons actually seemed to listen. "Elaborate."

Valey shrugged. "You seen High Prince Gazelle run through here recently? Killed one of my friends, grabbed and stole another? Felicity? I want her back. Where is she?"

"Felicity is out on business," a guard replied. "Surrender your weapon and wait peacefully, and we will send a messenger."

"What, this?" Valey blinked at the sword. "Sorry, you want this thing? See, it kinda belongs to a friend of mine..."

The griffons all leveled their spears at her. "These are our terms."

"Too bad." Valey was in the air, hurtling toward them, sword outstretched... These ones actually knew how to use spears. She had to feint, clipping the points off two weapons and taking a step in retreat.

The guards moved in a practiced formation, skilled at repelling attackers from range. But Valey was an expert at getting in, and more importantly the lights were still off. With a swoosh, she ducked behind them, rising in a spinning slash that dropped half their number. Valey caught a spear shaft as it fell, flipping it and ramming the butt into a guard to make him stumble before finishing the last ones in quick succession.

"Nice. Nice." Valey nodded at the paralyzed griffons. "Bananas, this is almost boring. Who's next?"





"...And that is why it's highly probable the Empire is on the verge of a large-scale sarosian infiltration and assault," Gazelle finished smugly, folding his paws. "I rest my case."

Lord Everlaste gave him a strange look. "I don't know whether to be more concerned that you're treating this like a joke, or that you might be right."

"Oh, please." Gazelle waved a wing. "Joking is how you know I care. If I didn't, I wouldn't make the effort." He narrowed his eyes. "First Garsheeva and our power grid are both taken severely down by a sarosian mad scientist, now Lord Gyre is mysteriously assassinated by a poison well-known in his own province, and shut up, I've studied this. Next thing you know, word's going to get out that you've removed my personally-chosen lieutenant from defense duty, the castle is dark and wide open, and all the leaders of both sarosian-voted worst provinces are here for the picking. How do you like swollen windpipes, Lord Everlaste? They could be coming for all of us. And by all of us I mean just you, because I'm savvy about this sort of thing and happen to carry an antidote."

Lord Stormhoof eyed Felicity suspiciously. "Whatever you're after, Gazelle, come out with it. If we've lost your mare's loyalty and the power grid is as broken as Meltdown says, I don't see what we can do that you're after."

Gazelle put on a wide grin. "Oh, that's easy. I'm just stalling for time while I wait for the fireworks to start."

"Gazelle," Lord Stormhoof threatened.

"It's true!" Gazelle shrugged innocently. "Like I said, I snatched her clean out of an attempted getaway. You think she told her contacts she was leaving? In fact, I'm surprised we haven't heard any alarms go off already." He raised an eyebrow. "If the bottom half of this castle was conquered with no survivors to raise the alarm, would we know?"

Lord Stormhoof stood up sharply. "Gazelle, stop trying to cause a panic in my war room! Take Felicity and go where you please; I don't care whether Lord Gyre has a surviving heir or not. Everlaste, take your family wherever you believe is safest. Generals, to me. If any of this reaches the troops on the ground, we're going to have chaos to stamp out. We secure the castle first, and then the island."

"Wherever I please? Haha!" Gazelle cackled as he left, Felicity in tow. "I'll tell you where I please. It's newspaper time, baby! Can you see the headlines already? 'Lord Everlaste fires Stormhoof Keep defense specialist, immediately gets invaded!' Bwahaha! Chaos is its own reward!"

As he passed through the door, a runner raced through in the opposite direction, gasping and panting for breath. "Sirs!" the breathless, uniformed griffon exclaimed. "Admiral Valey is attacking the castle! The one from the tournament... She's making piecemeal of all our best guards!"

Both of Lord Stormhoof's brows rose in alarm. "Again!?"

Gazelle nearly fell over laughing, and Felicity actually caught him across her back. As the war room erupted in commotion, they both staggered into the hall, where she set him against a wall and then sagged herself. "Congratulations," she sighed. "We've successfully goaded the same mare into making an absolute mockery of Stormhoof's defenses twice in one year. You had better be proud of yourself, because when she finds Senescey alive and realizes we tricked her into this, all that power is going to suddenly become our enemy."

"But did you see Stormhoof's face?" Gazelle sobbed, practically clawing at his cheeks to stem his laughter. "It was worth it. Oh, it was worth it! No one will ever live this down! They'll be too embarrassed to care about Lord Gyre, I'll have one less rival on the stage... You leave Valey to me. Let's just hide a while, wait for her to cause maximum chaos looking for us, and show up with Senescey in a closet somewhere at an opportune moment, hmm? Or maybe I should go back and annoy them about the power situation more..."

"You're already pushing it," Felicity warned, downcast. "Let's go meet our fates quietly. I really did like her, you know."

Gazelle grinned, not taking any of Felicity's attitude. "Oh, I told you to leave talking Valey down to me. Now come on. I feel like singing a catchy song about this..."