//------------------------------// // Part Two: Dishing out the Pie // Story: Baking for Humble Pie // by Impossible Numbers //------------------------------// Baking for Humble Pie -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When Pinkie Pie is visited by an unexpected guest, she suspects the pony of planning to ruin tomorrow's Try-Your-Best Talent Tournament. But then her friends find out that they're up against a bigger challenge than they'd supposed… -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rainbow Dash was doing press-ups outside the Sweet Apple Acres barn. Next to her, Rarity counted them while Twilight and Applejack were consulting the list of rules. "Well, his claim seems to hold up," Twilight said. "Every challenger puts forwards something to wager. If that pony loses even once, then that pony gives up the item they wagered and must quit the Tournament. If they win, then their opponent must give up their own item or something of roughly equal value. In the case of a Seal of Mayoralty…" "But the Mayor ain't competin' in no games," Applejack said. "Ah'm sure we can nail 'im there." "I'm afraid not," said Twilight. "Whenever the Mayor is elected, the Seal she accepts is not hers, but belongs to all the ponies of Ponyville, given to her by the ponies for as long as she's in office. All he has to do is defeat each and every pony in Ponyville, and he can claim the equivalent of his Seal for the entire Tournament." "Um, hello? Aren't you forgetting somepony?" said Rainbow Dash. "He can't beat me at this game. You need wings, and he hasn't got any." "Oh, ladies!" Humble called from beside the barn door. They looked round. Humble had donned some mechanical wings, a sleek sticks-and-gears contraption of the sort that could only be welded and made by a skilled craftspony. Extra wingspan slid out of either side like rows of swords. Rainbow Dash gulped. Twilight checked them over, her horn glowing as she guided it over and under them. "There's no way that contraption's going to lift him up. And you can't use magic in a Pegasus challenge," said Dash. "Or what's the point of having the Divisions?" "They seem to be the optimum for his size, but I can't detect any actual magic." "What will be your wager?" said Humble to Dash, putting a hoof over her withers and wings. Had a pony been particularly observant, they might have noticed the sharp edges of Humble's wing slice carefully through the primary feathers of Dash's. It was a subtle action, little more than a slight clipping of the edge - Dash herself didn't notice while she bore his weight - but it was enough. He hastily swept the fallen blue pieces out of sight with his prehensile tail. The athletic pegasus pushed him aside with a hoof. "I wager," she said, holding up a plastic container, "this geometry set." She rattled it. "Dash!" shouted Twilight. "That was a birthday gift!" "Twilight, I specifically asked for no uncool things on my birthday list. Come on, you're good with lists. Do something with it." The obstacle course consisted of a series of zigzagging fences, a row of poplar trees, several low ropes they had to pass under, a length along an alligator-infested river, and then a U-turn and a straight rush back to the barn. They both lined up on the starting line. "You are so going down," Rainbow Dash said. "Going down in history, eh, Dash?" He chuckled. Rainbow Dash gaped, then growled and pointed her snout at the track. Both their wings were poised to strike. Twilight raised a flag with her magic, then swiped down. The sheer bursts of speed nearly ripped the mane off her head. Rainbow Dash got a good start in the fence maze. Humble lagged behind, pumping his mechanical wings as fiercely as he could. However good they were at maintaining his bulk, they clearly made him far too slow. Up ahead, Rainbow Dash chuckled as she zipped smartly between the fences. However, as they approached the poplars, something seemed to be wrong with Dash's concentration. Her blue wings were pumping, but despite the advantage she had, Humble flapped an almighty flap and came level with her. A swipe of his wings scythed the air, creating a slash of turbulence that shot across and struck Rainbow Dash. She was knocked off her concentration for a moment, but it was enough. With a smack, she went headfirst into the second tree. To an outsider, it would have looked like Humble had merely flapped his wings, and only an acute observer could have seen the slash cut across from him to her. Dash pulled herself out of the branches, shaken by this unexpected twist. She tried to continue, but as she weaved between the trees, she noticed how far Humble had shot ahead, and she began to feel an uncomfortably familiar fear creep up on her. "Oh, no!" Twilight said. "Her stage fright!" At the next point, Humble hit the ground so hard that he left a crater under the rope. Dash slipped neatly under her rope next to it. Once they had cleared all the ropes in this manner, Humble and Dash approached the river. Humble frowned when he noticed how close she was getting. "Say, Dash," he growled to himself. "How would you like a game of snap?" An alligator shot out of the water in an arc and reached for him with open jaws. An iron-clad kick sent it back into the water. The splash alone blinded Dash as she came up behind him, but he wasn't finished yet. More alligators leapt up, but he simply punched out any that got too close. Soon, he had cleared the river section, leaving a lot of stunned and bruised reptiles in his wake. Dash had observed all this, having finally wiped the water from her eyes. When she followed behind, thinking he'd made it easy for her, she was cut short by a sudden snap. A pair of infuriated jaws stood tall before her before they lowered back into the water. Another set of jaws made a second bid on her life, which she barely saved by a smart dodge out of the way. Dash was screaming in panic while she swerved and dodged a barrage of enraged, bruised alligator jaws. One snapped her up, and vanished below the surface. There was a lot of bubbling. A moment later, Dash burst through the water, shook herself off, and zoomed after Humble, picking up speed. They rushed through the U-turn: Humble first; Dash following soon after. The trees either side of them leaned over briefly as they passed. Within seconds, he had crossed the finish line, claiming first place. He landed at once, dusting himself off proudly. Twilight ruefully flapped the flag. Then, as Dash was zooming closer, he innocently looked up at the sun, and waited. He stuck out a wing. The zoom switched to a splat, the wing vibrated, and then stopped. Twilight dropped the flag in horror. Humble folded forwards his wings to get a look on the back. "Oh, dear me, I seem to have caught a fly on my wing shield." He bent it back with his hoof, and let go, catapulting a screaming Dash through the air. She was so stunned that she continued onwards and crashed through the barn wall. There were a lot of unpleasant noises that, hopefully, were merely the sounds of breaking timber beams. He went over to Twilight and claimed the geometry set. Twilight scowled as she handed it over. Rainbow Dash dragged her back hooves along the ground as she crawled up to him and looked up at his face, panting. There were scratch marks and bruises all over her body, one black eye watered slightly, and one wing was hanging limp. "You… you… you stole my… pride," she managed to say. She collapsed. He eased her body away from him with one hoof. "Oh, Rainbow Dash, you need to learn how to be a graceful loser." "Well, now's yer chance to show 'er how, 'cos Ah challenge you ter an apple-buckin' contest," said Applejack. "Yer'll need more than big muscles and a bounderby mouth ter win that." "Splendid," said Humble. Behind him, Rarity was helping Dash up onto her own back to be carried away. The blue filly was too dazed to protest. "Over here, y'all. Follow me." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It wasn't a long walk; the next arena was just on the other side of the barn. More fillies had gathered around. Humble took his place, having accepted Applejack's challenge for the apple-bucking contest; whoever could buck their row of ten apple trees in the shortest time would win. Once she had graciously shown him the baskets under each tree, he analysed his carefully. The bell signalled to start. Applejack rushed up and bucked her first tree, sending every apple tumbling into her first basket. Humble did nothing. Then he whipped out the compass and protractor he'd won during the last contest, and a piece of paper. By manipulating them with his hooves and mouth he started to perform some quick calculations, writing notes, occasionally raising a hoof and making strange gestures at the trees. Most of the fillies that had come to watch laughed at him. Applejack meanwhile ran from tree to tree, bucking each one as she went. She was onto her fifth tree when Humble turned around, judged the timing, strength and direction of his required muscular movements, and kicked his first tree. It fell forwards and struck the next tree, which fell forwards and struck the next tree. The resulting domino effect took out all ten trees in a matter of seconds, knocking all the apples out in one go. The baskets were entirely filled by the time it stopped. Applejack was dumbfounded. Her rear legs were still held up high for the next buck. Humble trotted over to her. "And for this, I win… what did you wager?" Applejack pointed sadly at a cart full of apples - some of Applejack's finest - which was standing beside the barn. Humble lifted up the yoke and harness with his head and slung them over his own wither. He guided the cart away, leaving Applejack with her jaw gaping. Rarity and Twilight gave each other nervous looks. Both gulped at the same time. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For Pinkie herself, the thought of him seemed to evoke old dusty smells, and she sneezed. Everything seemed to be turning grey, as grey as granite, and her jaw ached with the memories of an old pout of disapproval. She could hear the chink of pickaxes… creaking wooden axles… and a hymn at the end of the day… "Uh, Pinkie?" Pinkie blinked it back and turned her head. Fluttershy was giving her a funny look. "Are you OK? You look really tired." "I'm fine," Pinkie said through clenched teeth. She felt subdued after Humble's last appearance, and she did not like it one bit. "Is there something you want to talk about?" "I'm fine." She pushed the door open and entered the cottage. The Mayor was looking completely frazzled. Occasionally, she paused in her work to give a rolled up parchment a reassuring pat, before turning back to the rest of the desk and picking up the pen in her mouth. "Mayor," said Pinkie Pie. "I'd like to push my competition under your nose, if you don't mind." "Not now, Pinkie Pie," said the Mayor, putting down her pen. "Can't you see I'm a little tied up at the moment?" "If you're tied up, then where are your ropes? Come on, Mayor, it's just a simple challenge. Look, I drew the design myself." The Mayor took it reluctantly. "In crayon?" "Well, forgive me for not having posh quills and an inkstand." "Pinkie Pie, are you OK?" "WHY DOES EVERYPONY KEE – I mean, yeah. I am fiiiiiiiiiiine. Okey dokey, you wanna pokey?" The Mayor pushed it back. "I'm sorry, Pinkie. There's just no way I could possibly organise this now. The charts are already up and finalised, and this is one of the most complicated challenges I've ever seen." "That's why I colour-coded it." "I see. In cake icing." "I ran out of crayon, OK?" "Pinkie, no, just no. I'm under a lot of, p-pressure right now, and I n-need this t-time t-to –" The Mayor broke off and hastily tapped the rolled up parchment like it was a good luck charm. She let out the sort of breath that suggested that the air from her lungs had been under a lot of pressure, and wasn't it just nice to take a load off? "As I was saying, I need this time to draft a few letters to Princess Celestia. I need some advice on how to handle Humbl – I mean, this recent change of circumstances." Pinkie reached over and put a hoof onto the Mayor's letter to block it off. "And that is why I'm trying to help you!" "You? Pinkie, you're not challenger material. Besides, look at this chart." A mint-coloured unicorn with a lyre cutie mark jumped over and levitated a large canvas before both Pinkie and the Mayor. The canvas was a trio of tables, each one labelled a Division – the Earth Pony Division, the Pegasus Division, and the Unicorn Division. Every name on the Earth Pony Division table had been crossed out, with a letter "H" next to each one. Half of the Pegasus Division table had gone the same way, and so had two of the Unicorn Division names. "Normally, we keep these three completely separate for fairness' sake, so there would usually be three last challenges going through to the final. But now that we have our first inter-divisionary competitor, I'm having to figure out how this is going to work, whether he should do all three or just one, and how the awards system is going to work." "Why don't you just make it easy for yourself and disqualify him?" said Pinkie. "Good idea. You," said the Mayor, pointing to the mint unicorn. "Disqualify the new competitor." "M-me?" "Yes, you." The Mayor glared. The mint unicorn dropped the chart and began to tremble. "Me? Disqualify that thing?" She looked like she was going to cry. The Mayor gestured with her forelegs as if to say "I rest my case." "I'm sorry, Pinkie Pie, but that's just how it is." Pinkamena's glare was undaunted. Hooves pressed down squarely on the desk and the pink face leaned in close. "I'll be back," she hissed. Then she snatched up the challenge design, spun on her hooves, and stomped the entire way, out of the door, and down the road, leaving Fluttershy to flutter nervously after her. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Well, whut does the rulebook say abou' competitors makin' challenges?" "He's technically just a challenger, but his challenge is that he'll be the best competitor in all the other challenges, so he has the best of both worlds, and he has us both ways." "An' we already accepted his challenge," Applejack said glumly. "I can't find any mention of this 'competitor-challenge' thing in the rules. No pony has ever done it before. It's like he's inventing a rulebook of his own." "Well, let's hope Rarity can hold 'er own against 'im." In fact, the inside of Carousel Boutique was a flurry of levitating objects on Rarity's side, while Humble, without a magic horn to see him through, was having to rush around carrying everything manually. They were both working towards the same dress design, pinned to the wall behind them on canvas paper, and had been at it for nearly ten minutes. What was even more cheering to the small crowd of ponies gathered at the entrance was the look of complete unconcern on Rarity's face as stitches and threading spun around her and she placed them on her model, bringing the dress closer to perfection. Humble's dress was also nearly complete, but it was clear from all the panting and huffing that he was being pushed to his limit, and every now and again he could not resist pausing to have a peek at his rival's work. A box of gems shone sky blue and hurried over to Rarity's inspecting eye. While her horn was glowing blue, gem after gem moved up, floating above her face briefly, before she put them back into the box. A few caught her eye – these ones were summoned to decorate the dress, closing in like flies towards a bug lamp. Humble had paused to watch again, his own box in his own hooves, and raised an eyebrow at this behaviour. Three gems were left to put on, then two, then one. Both dresses received their last gem at exactly the same moment. A tap on a triangle signalled the end of the contest. "And that I declare is a drawing-tie!" shouted Sweetie Belle, who lowered the triangle magically. Humble was out of breath, but Rarity was barely sweating. As the ponies around her dressmaking chamber closed in, she asked them to be careful where they placed their hooves, as some were treading over loose bits of fabric and knocking over a stray stool, and one or two bumped the mirrors around them. Nopony closed in around Humble, who was staring at his own gem box with a thoughtful expression. "Hah!" said Twilight, walking nonchalantly up to him, Applejack following behind. "You lost this challenge." "I drew," said Humble. "Did you not remember my exact words? I said if I was outright beaten. Does a draw look like outright beating to you? No, this is just a temporary setback. We'll rematch soon." He stormed past them, ignoring the group of ponies that crowded around Rarity, and kicked the door the wrong way, breaking its hinges. He stomped off. The crowd of ponies followed him sometime later, while Applejack and Twilight watched. "Ooh, I'd like to give him an outright beating," said Rarity nearby. "I swear he kept trying to snatch up my materials before I needed them." Rarity trotted up to Twilight and Applejack, idly picking up stray ribbons and fabric sheets and sending them back into the boxes surrounding the art room. "Not nervous anymore, I see?" said Twilight cheerfully. "Certainly not. I was in my element." "But that's incredible, Rarity," said Applejack. "So far, you're the only challenger he ain't beat. Ah tip my hat to yer." "Well, I put it all down to getting a good night's beauty sleep. I've been feeling lovely and refreshed all day." Twilight gagged, and shoved a hoof in her mouth. "Twilight, ain't y'all s'posed to be attendin' yer own challenge righ' about now?" Twilight looked crestfallen. "I would, but so far nopony's taken it up, and I need the practice before I face Humble." "Shoot, li'l bookworm. You could knock him down in yer sleep. B'sides, he ain't got no magic horn, so how he's gonna take on the other unicorns Ah have no idea." Rarity's pupils suddenly shrunk. "I've just thought of something. So far, I'm the only challenger to have so much as earned a draw against him. If he beats everypony else, then does that mean that in the final he does my challenge, or…" she said, and gulped before she continued, "does… does that mean that I… have to do… h-his… challenge?" Twilight and Applejack gave each other nervous looks. "Let's… take a break for a while, what do you say?" said Twilight. "Yes, I suppose that would be best," said Rarity, looking sadly at the ground. Then she brightened up. "Ooh, I know. How about I treat you girls with a visit to the kiosks?" The other two cheered and helped her put away the models, Rarity using the distraction to hide the look of panic on her face. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anxious, Humble stomped down the Ponyville street, leaving two-inch deep hoofmarks in the yellow cobbled path behind him. There were kiosks all along the side of the road – wooden stalls selling all kinds of delectables and trinkets for the visitors. There seemed to be more ponies around than usual. Clearly, the Tournament was a popular attraction. "This is an outrage," he muttered to himself, ignoring the puzzled looks of passing ponies. "All you have left now are the Unicorn Division challenges, and you don't have anything magical yet, you idiot. If you don't think of something soon, Humble, your position will be irreversibly compromised. Blast that unicorn! I need to come up with something to make sure it never happens again, and fast." To his surprise, a pink unicorn shot past – had he been a step further, it would have taken his head off – and crashed into the front of one of Ponyville's medieval-style houses. When the dust cleared, a sad little rump was all that could be seen besides cracked yellow wall. Humble followed the trajectory back to its source. A purple unicorn with a three-diamond cutie mark strutted back and forth in a wrestling ring the size of the Ponyville town stage. There was a green glow all around her, though her horn was deactivated. She had clearly put on herself a muscle-enhancement spell – no normal unicorn had proportions more becoming of a manticore. How intriguing, he thought, thinking back to his time in the mountains. Magic that powerful almost never came from a unicorn directly. So where…? Humble looked behind him. The three ponies from earlier – Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity – were coming up the street, three blue-glowing ice creams suspended in front of them, and they were laughing together, perhaps at some joke. Looking up showed him that the sun had just passed the midway point of its arc and was heading for the horizon, and as he followed its beam he caught a gleam of something emerald by the wrestling ring. For reasons better known to himself, both sights together seemed to please him. He spat into one hoof and smoothed down the back of his lion's mane, an action which had little observable result, and stepped up to the ring. "May I take up this challenge?" Humble said to the purple unicorn. She frowned at him. Seconds later, as Twilight, Rarity and Applejack were walking into view, a huge pony body smashed into the ground in front of them. The shock made Rarity drop all three ice creams. Embedded in the grass, the purple unicorn twitched her eye. Looking up, they saw a familiar face beaming from within the ring. "Well, well, well," said Humble, "that was refreshingly easy. I guess it's time to claim my prize." "Oh, it's just that hooligan again," said Rarity. "Come, girls, let us depart from this atrocious scene." "And what a lovely prize, too," said Humble, gesturing towards the side of the arena, as the three of them passed by with their noses in the air. "Why, I'd have to say, it's practically a steal." Out of curiosity, she looked. Rarity stopped and put a hoof out to stop the others. Puzzled, they followed her gaze. Raised on a podium, sitting upon a plush velvet cushion, was an emerald. It was three times the size of a normal gem, and embedded into a golden plate, from which two chains of gold curved away. Each chain ended with a hook, and the result was a somewhat front-heavy, but highly polished, necklace. Rarity gasped when she saw it. "That's MINE!" she shrieked. "Somepony stole that emerald from my store. And… eugh, they put it on a golden plate. Darling, that is just not done. Rubies would have given it a far more fetching colour, and it could do with a little shrinking, and perhaps a few more gems in the links –" "Ah, you want this?" said Humble, leaning on the rope surrounding the ring, which sagged nearly to the ground under his weight. "Well, tough horsetails, because it is mine now." "You disgusting, thieving, fashion-insensitive scoundrel!" He scratched his chest with a hoof and idly examined the tip. "Thief? Me? I'll have you know that I rightfully won this. Of course, I would hold out if somepony cared to take up the former challenger's mantle." He pointed to the purple unicorn lying on the grass. She was still unconscious. Rarity snorted. "Good sir. How stupid do you think I am?" "Well, naturally, not stupid at all. Quite clever of you to realise you would not wish to lose." "Lose?" "It is probably for the best that you do not risk your pretty neck, swapping challenges at the last minute, especially while your friends are watching you fail." "Fail?" Rarity bared her teeth. "Of course, I completely understand. In fact, I admire it. What a wise move for one so beautiful and delicate as yourself." "DELICATE?" Rarity shoved her nose up into his. He guided her back with one hoof. "You defeated me in the art of frou-frou, but have you met your match in the art of kung-fu? Or is this pale filly too hoity-toity to embarrass herself before her compadrés?" Rarity, silently fuming, tried biting back her rage. "Don't do it, Rarity," said Twilight. "He's just trying to get around the dressmaking draw." "I am sorry, girls. I am fully aware that this ruffian is goading me, and I am fully aware that he is trying to take advantage of my… feelings for you. But if I can just get one hoof into that over-preening mouth of his, so help me Celestia, I'll not pass the buck." Humble's mouth twisted in self-congratulating satisfaction, making the target in question more obvious, and more desirable, to hit. Rarity looked past him to the fallen unicorn. "I hope you don't mind?" she shouted to the prone form, who merely raised a shaking hoof. "Your… funeral," was the reply. "Care to dance?" Humble said, gesturing towards the other corner. "Mademoiselle?" "For you, good sir," she retorted, "I would tango until you dropped dead." He lowered the ropes, allowing her to enter the arena with dignity. When Twilight stepped forwards to dissuade her, he let go, causing the rope to smack her in the jaw and send her flipping backwards. He took his position, and cracked his toe-bones against each other like knuckles. Rarity swept back her hair, then tucked her chin down and swelled with apprehension. Humble pawed the ground, scraping half of the thickness of the arena floor off in one hoof, and snorted. Rarity's eyes narrowed, as somewhere in the distance a red hawk screeched. Ponies all around held their breaths, except for Twilight, who was picking herself up and wondering why the stars were suddenly orbiting her head. One stunned mint-coloured unicorn held a donut halfway to her mouth, which her grey pegasus neighbour quickly took a bite out of. Sweetie Belle leaped up and clanged the bell with all four hooves. With a growl and a snarl, both Humble and Rarity shot from nought to a full gallop. Rarity slipped under his hoof as he aimed a blow, and took advantage of his distraction by aiming a well-placed kick into the underside of his jaw. She landed on both hind legs, forelegs raised. There was a crash as he bounced off the floor, then a flip and all four hooves were on the ground again. He growled, but otherwise looked like he hadn't received so much as a poke. With all four legs, he threw himself at her. A quick block shook off her second kick, but following it up with a swipe didn't work, and he was rewarded with a kick into the small of his back. "Go, Rarity!" shouted Twilight. "That's it, girl, buck 'im down!" Applejack shouted. Rarity delivered, in quick succession, an elbow into the ribs, a kick into the stomach, and a stomp on his head. A return swipe was dutifully dodged. She landed. Then they were locked, hoof to hoof, pushing hard and glaring into each other's faces. "Very graceful, mademoiselle," Humble said between straining teeth. "It is exceedingly rare to make the acquaintance of a dressmaker who can kick." "How droll," Rarity returned, "I was just on the verge of making the same observation about you." They broke hooves, but Humble took advantage of the respite and somersaulted over her. A quick push of a hoof into both her hocks caused her to fall onto her front. She rolled aside and unleashed a flurry of kicks. "Thou movest with such poise, such elegance," Humble said. He parried a kick. "It is poetry in motion, music embodied, a melody to my eyes." "I would not say thou wert no such inelegant partner thyself." A second kick struck at his ear, but he batted her aside with a backhoof. "Oh? Perhaps, mademoiselle, I leave thee tongue-tied in my sight?" To this, Rarity seized one of his hooves, ran upon his back, and pushed him down onto his chest, trapping him in a half-nelson. "There shalt be no tying of the tongues, foul steed!" she cried. He rolled over. Something crunched. There was a gasp from the crowd. What looked like a poster of Rarity was flattened down where Humble's back had rolled over the arena floor. She struggled, and finally popped back into shape. There was murder in her eyes. "Thou assumest too many airs, mare of the diamond," Humble said, sitting on the ropes around the ring, "and all one hears is bluster." With a flick, he stretched himself like an arrow in a bow and catapulted himself directly upwards. Rarity watched as he eclipsed the sun, then came streaming down, hoof aimed. She screamed and rolled aside as he collided like a furry meteor into the centre of the ring, leaving a monstrous crater. Every pony around bounced with the shaking of the ground. He hopped out of it. "Bluster shalt not be bluster if thine hoof fails to meet thine mark," Rarity taunted. She gave a flying kick, and then squealed as both of his hooves caught her in midair and held her up to his face. "Rest assured, fair maiden, mine hoof never yet failed to meet its mark!" "Past successes are no guarantee of future triumph! Take heed, foul gloating apparition, and expend less on speech, more on strength!" "I have the strength of iron!" he cried, dropping her. With a flip and a buck he sent her flying into the ropes, stretching them out for as far as the momentum lasted. Rarity gave a whimper as the ropes threw her back into the arena and into the waiting, slightly angled hooves of Humble. He didn't even kick. Rarity simply met the hooves and ricocheted off, flying over their heads, screaming. Every pony traced the arc as Rarity soared out of the arena, over their heads, and towards the nearby donut kiosk. The owner looked up and ducked behind his stall. Humble hopped out of the arena, slid across, casually knocked the kiosk aside and extended his hooves, ready and waiting when the screaming Rarity landed in them. Gently, he lowered her onto the grass, where she let down her legs and stood up, shaking her mane back into shape. She looked back at him, one slightly out-of-focus eyebrow raised. "Beauty should not be spoiled," was all he would say. He walked past her, leaving her swaying either with dizziness or with flattery, it was hard to read her expression. The necklace was hooked over one hoof and draped with care over the giant neck, disappearing partially into the mass of mane around it. Only the emerald could still be seen. He tilted it to get a better look. "A worthy prize," he commented. "Beat a gem to get a gem. Even in defeat, you are an inspiration for poetry." "That was against Queen's filly rules," Twilight said accusingly, walking up to him. "Being graceful does not mean being gentle. Have you never heard of the graceful punch?" And over the hill behind him, a small crowd of ponies, lead by the Mayor and by Pinkie Pie, came walking. The two in front were deep in an argument. "Pinkie Pie, for the last time, you can pester me until the cows come home –" "They're already home. Don't change the subject. THERE! Look for yourself." Wearily, the Mayor followed Pinkie Pie's pointing hoof. Down below, she could see the ring, and the scattering of ponies around it. Humble was in their midst, flexing his muscles and laughing with bursts of self-congratulating pleasure. At the sight, the Mayor's face glowed bright red. Her body quaked and steam rose up from under her uniform. Pinkie herself looked down as she saw her brother leap to and fro in triumph. Leaping to and fro… the farm… She thought she could see movement. Clouds appeared. There was a wagon, and a high rainfall. The older ponies and the fillies soldiered on, pulling along carts filled with gravel, covered in dirt. But the pink filly, her hair flowing in cascades from her head, trying to hop in her harness, after struggling to pull hers, simply collapsed with a splash. The cart behind her stopped moving. A hoof came down gently next to her, and the filly looked up. A sneering aquamarine face looked down, a piece of hay in his mouth and rain dripping off his flanks as he looked down on her. He shook his head, and mouthed two times two words at her. "You failed. This time." The little filly looked down at the puddle in which she lay, and covered up her face. Her shoulders shook. Pinkie blinked and the image faded away. She shook her head violently. Her glare could have been used for a slide rule. "No. Not for one day. Somepony's got to stand up to him, and I'm the only one who knows how." The Mayor was oblivious, too busy considering. What she really needed was the comforting touch of her Seal, but it wasn't there. Her expression hardened like molten lava into rock. "Oh, confound it all. Am I Mayor or am I Mayor?" she said, and turned to Pinkie. "Pinkie, if you can put a stop to this madness, then I am fully prepared to accept your challenge as a late entry." Pinkie Pie smirked, and gave a sidelong glance at the ponies behind her. Under her breath, she counted down. "Wait. If she gets to have a late challenge, then why can't I?" said one with purple, pink and white stripes in her mane. Surprised, the Mayor turned to face her, mouth working furiously and looking up at the clouds for something to say. "W-well, well, I, uh –" "I had a great challenge in mind," said another pony. "Now that you mention it, so did I," said a red pegasus. "I want to put forwards one, too, Mayor!" "Me too!" "And I do too!" "That's quite enough," said the Mayor. "If you all want to do so, then I accept. But only on the condition that you set them up yourselves." When they all went "awww," she put her hoof down. "Ponies, I simply cannot authorise a rescheduling of this size unless you handle some of the organising work." Every face looked like it was about to cry. "Hey," said Pinkie Pie. "You could all help with my challenge! It works best with more than one pony anyway." Several faces beamed, but a few still looked uncertain. "I don't know," said one. "I really liked my own challenge." "Come on," said her partner. "It's Pinkie Pie. If she's got a challenge, then it is going to be fun." "And awesome!" said another. "Count me in!" Every pony cheered, much to Pinkie Pie's delight. The Mayor wiped her brow with relief. "Well, at least it should happen a lot faster now that you have extra help," said the Mayor. She stood up tall and proud before Pinkie, who put on her best serious face. "Pinkie Pie, it looks like you're all that I've got. This is an insane situation, so we're going to need all the insane ponies we can get. May Celestia be with you." "Oh, thank you Mayor! Thank you! I promise you won't regret this!" "Yes, well, I'll be the one to judge that." There was a collective cheer from all around, and everypony turned back towards Sugar Cube Corner. Within the crowd, Fluttershy's wings drooped. Amid the cheering, Pinkie Pie leaned towards the brown pony near the back with the hourglass cutie mark. "Say, buddy," she said, elbowing him in the wither. "You wouldn't happen to know where Humble is set up, now, wouldya?" "Well, there are some unicorns around saying that he came from some place out of town. Apparently, he's staying at Roadside Stables." "The pony hotel? Canter for all your special needs?" "Do you know another?" "Great!" Pinkie Pie rushed off, much to the brown pony's amusement. Fluttershy's mouth hung open in an 'o', and she raised an eyebrow after her friend. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "But Pinkie, how are you going to find time to run your own challenge and to go see Humble's lodgings?" said Fluttershy, as Pinkie used a mallet in her hooves to fix a wooden sign in front of Sugar Cube Corner's bakery. "I'll… run the… challenge… first," said Pinkie, giving it a series of swipes, "then… I'll go… and have a look around. Do a little bit of pryin'. See what old Mr Party-Pooper is hiding away." "P-Prying?" Fluttershy said in complete shock. "P-Pinkie Pie, I thought you respected and cherished secrets like you cherished cream-topped cherry-flavoured chocolate fudge sundaes?" "Secrets schmecrets, this is my brother we're talking about." "But Pinkie…" She whimpered as Pinkie's face butted hers, and they were uncomfortably close, eye-to-eye, and, in Fluttershy's case, wishing she could close hers. She also wished Pinkie would let go of the mallet. "Do I smell the unwelcome sniff of not-trusting-your-bestest-best-friend from your fur, little si- I mean, little Fluttershy?" "Oh no. Not at all. No funny smells here," said Fluttershy, shaking her head. Since Pinkie's was touching hers, this made Pinkie shake her head along with it. "Do you know what'll happen if Humble gets the Seal of May… however you pronounce it? He once managed to take over the farm for a day. It was my only failure against him. That was the furthest I ever let him go, and, by golly, I swore on that day that I would never let it happen again." "But I'm worried about you, Pinkie. Don't you see what's happening to yourself?" "Come on, old friend, look who you're talking to. You know who I am." She dropped the mallet. To Fluttershy's horror, Pinkie's hair deflated. "It's game time," said Pinkamena. There was no joy in her face now. "Humble, here I come. Now watch me take them all down, Fluttershy, Pinkie-Pie-style, and you'll see who I really am." Pinkamena joined the crowd inside, walking, not hopping, along to greet the masses. There was an eager look on her face and her body colour darkened as she passed Fluttershy. Fluttershy's little gasp was lost in the party din. Two doors creaked to a close. Fluttershy peeked through the gap as the challenge started. Pinkamena's war cry was clearly audible over the subsequent crashing that followed. Fluttershy covered her ears, then winced and covered her eyes. She gave a peek, and when a second crash died down, Fluttershy covered her mouth. Pinkamena roared triumphantly. The next competitor was called. Fluttershy turned her back on Sugar Cube Corner and shook her head sadly. More crashing came from inside, followed by a cry of pain. "I… thought I knew you, Pinkie," she said, lowering her gaze. "But… not anymore." A slide of her mane covered up her eyes. One tear dropped to the ground. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To be continued…