//------------------------------// // Foal Play // Story: Foal Fever // by Ponibius //------------------------------// Trixie and Starlight popped back into existence on the streets of Ponyville. Starlight scanned the area for further dangers, but besides the curious looks she was getting from nearby ponies there didn’t seem to be anything to worry about. Her body relaxed and she let out a sigh. “Right, so the castle's off limits now.” “Ya think?!” Trixie’s plans for a nice evening with her fillyfriend had quickly collapsed into ... whatever you called being stuck taking care of a foal capable of shattering the walls of reality and then having to flee from the literal Spirit of Harmony. She liked having some excitement in her life, but she massively preferred the type of excitement caused by fun surprises, not the kind that involved mortal peril. Trixie shivered and shook her head. “At least we got away from all that madness.” “At least that.” Starlight took Flurry from Trixie and started bouncing her in place. “Ugh, I hate it when the Spirit of Harmony gets like that.” “Blah!” Flurry showed what she thought of the Spirit of Harmony by sticking her tongue out. Trixie blinked. “Wait, is this something that's happened more than once?!” Starlight let out an exasperated groan. “It gets like this whenever it sees anything disharmonious. It's a spirit of a raw element, a force of nature. It just does what it does.” Trixie had trouble believing that this could be allowed to be an ongoing problem. But then again, Trixie’s usual approach to problems was to quickly pack up and skip town. The only problems Trixie couldn’t get away from were those she carried with her. “How often does this happen?” “Maybe ... once a month?” The crooked smile Starlight flashed showed exactly how much confidence she had in that fact. “That I know of.” “Trixie is never going back to that madhouse again.” Starlight narrowed her eyes. “It’s not that bad most of the time. Besides, I live there.” “Trixie thinks you need to reconsider your living arrangements.” “I can’t just... Nevermind.” Starlight sighed as she rubbed her brow. “How about we just focus on getting a meal for now? It's been forever since I last ate, and I'm starving.” Trixie waved at the castle. “How can you think of food after that?” “It’s not that hard.” Starlight levitated Flurry onto her back and started making her way towards some food. “I mean, you know how soldiers learn how to sleep at the drop of a hat when they get the opportunity?” Trixie raised an eyebrow as she followed her. “Are you saying this kind of insanity happens often enough that you're used to it?!” “When you put it like that...” Starlight scrunched her muzzle as she thought. “Twilight's kind of a weirdness magnet. Or maybe it's the town? Maybe they're amplifying one another? Point is, ever since I’ve moved here it’s like something crazy is always happening, and I’ve just kinda gotten used to it.” These facts were making Trixie seriously reconsider what she was getting into if this was going to become a regular part of her relationship with Starlight. Though now that Trixie thought about it, she’d been dragged into saving Equestria once already. Granted, a big part of why she had helped was that she lived in Equestria, and something like Queen Chrysalis conquering the land would have a serious negative effect on her quality of life. But things like nearly getting killed by some monster while trying to resolve some sort of friendship problem so that her cutie mark would stop weirdly glowing was another matter. The facts were not looking good to Trixie. She was definitely getting pulled into all this weirdness just like Starlight had, and she didn’t like it. But there were simple solutions to fixing her problems, or at least making her problems not seem as big of a deal. “If we're getting food, Trixie needs alcohol.” Starlight rolled her eyes. “Fine, as long as I get to eat. Just try to not get hammered—I don't need to take care of both you and Flurry. My hooves are full as it is, and you don’t need to be setting a bad example for a princess.” Trixie sighed, annoyed at having to act like a responsible adult. “Of course not.” Starlight nuzzled Trixie. “Hey, things might be a bit rough right now, but we still have each other. Right?” Trixie smiled at the affection and nuzzled back. “Well, there is that. Hopefully things can settle down a bit now that we're away from the palace.” After a moment of contemplation, Trixie realized she had made a mistake. “Ugh, Trixie should not have tempted fate by saying that just now.” Flurry sneezed and a blast of wild magic shot from her horn to hit the cart of one of the Flower Trio. The flowers and bouquets started growing rapidly, morphing into one another, and a dozen tentacles sprouted from Equestria’s latest magical abomination. The tentacles started snatching ponies and waving them around to their panicked screams. Flurry laughed and clapped her hooves in response. Starlight groaned and planted her hoof on her face. “Trixie! Why did you do that?! Have you not seen the type of day I'm having?!” “Sorry!” Trixie’s eats flattened to her head. “So much for date night. What else could possibly go—“ She quickly clamped her hooves over her mouth before she could finish the damning non-question. Starlight also pressed her hoof onto Trixie’s mouth in case an irony-driven universe was listening, glaring at her fillyfriend. “Do. Not. Tempt. Fate. Ever. Again. Never ever. Not once, not ever. Because the answer is always ‘yes’ and ‘a whole lot’. Trust me.” Only once they were sure additional disasters hadn’t appeared was Trixie allowed to speak once again. “I'm sorry, I'll be more careful.” “Help!” cried one of the flower trio. “Why is this happening?!” asked the other as she was whipped about. “My flower arrangements!” screamed the third with a misplaced sense of priorities. A large bulb formed at the center of the writhing tangle of flowers and vines, one that opened up and flashed far too many teeth as it lowered one of the mares towards its maw. Starlight blinked and shook her head. “Oh right, I should help them! Here, take Flurry!” She levitated Flurry over, and Trixie reluctantly took the happily squealing foal. One of the vines reached for them but Trixie fired a blast of energy at it to splatter it. “Feed me!” the crime against the floral arts roared. Starlight’s horn lighted as she prepared herself to fight the plant monster. “Rather not.” Several vines shot out at Starlight, and she teleported out of the way and behind the plant monster. She fired a beam of magic into the main bulb of the creature, and plant matter exploded in every direction, splattering several nearby ponies. Starlight froze the vines in ice with a followup spell, which she shattered with a telekinetic blast. She caught everypony who had been caught up in the vines with her telekinesis and carefully lowered them to the ground. “There we go everypony,” Starlight said as she got everypony down. “Crisis over. Back to your normal mundane lives until the next random monster attack or crisis shows up.” Not everypony was content with how everything had gone though, as the Flower Trio took stock of the devastation that had struck their market stand. One of the Flowers girl’s lip quivered as she picked up a smashed flower. “Our flowers.” “Our carts,” said another through budding tears. All of their stand carts had been thoroughly smashed. “Why did this have to happen?” The third one sniffed before glowering in Flurry’s direction. Starlight sighed. Trying to do the right thing was so hard when ponies were so ungrateful when you saved them from monsters that were technically, if accidentally, created by the foal you were temporarily responsible for. “Look, I’ll cover the expenses.” She reached for her bit purse but found nothing there. “Oh. Right. It’s back at the castle.” She smiled apologetically at Trixie. “Trixie, can you cover me here? Please? I’ll pay—Twilight will pay you back! It’s her niece who caused the damages after all. I’m sure she’ll recompense you for this. She’s got plenty of money, being royalty.” Trixie glowered at her fillyfriend. “And how long will that take? Trixie knows how long it takes for the government to do anything, and Twilight will want even more paperwork than usual. Probably in triplicate.” Starlight pressed her hooves together in a prayer gesture. “Pleeeease, Trixie? For me?” Trixie grumbled as she pulled out her bitpurse. “Trixie won't make other small business entrepreneurs suffer.” By the time she was done covering the damages her purse was significantly lighter. “So much for my petty cash,” she sighed as she examined her remaining coin. Starlight smiled. “Thanks, Trixie.” “Thank you!” The first flower girl hugged Trixie. “You saved our business!” “We won't starve!” exclaimed another. “Though, um...” The third one tried her best not to look at Flurry, badly. “Can you keep moving? We kinda, um, need to clean up after this mess.” “Also that foal is a danger to society,” said the second, feeling no need to be circumspect. “Lily!” hissed the first one. Lily glowered at her fellow flower girl. “What? I'm just saying what everypony's thinking.” Trixie knew an unappreciative crowd when she saw one and turned to go. “Right, leaving now!” Starlight was quick on her heels before they could cause more trouble—or at least bring trouble someplace new. She had a long history of spreading trouble wherever she went, and knew it was best to distribute it around in as wide an area as possible so that everypony could be equally unhappy with you instead of concentrating too much in a single spot and get herself run out of town yet again. Once they were out of earshot of the Flower Trio, Starlight spoke quietly to Trixie. “I'm really starting to question how Cadance and Shining deal with this kid on a daily basis.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “She's probably a lot more reasonable with her parents than two relative strangers. Not to mention her mom probably knows how to deal with her.” Flurry’s ears perked and she started looking around. “Mama?” Starlight groaned and her ears flattened. “Oh no, you shouldn’t have used the m-word. Flurry gets unhappy being away from her.” “Mama?!” Flurry bit her lip, and her searching became more desperate. “It's alright, we just need to find something to keep her occupied.” Trixie knew the value of a good distraction, and how to draw it just where you wanted it. “Where's that snail toy she likes?” Starlight’s eyes drifted back behind them. “It's ... back in the castle.” Unable to find her mom, Flurry started crying, making Trixie flatten her ears. “Are there any other toys she likes?” Starlight shook her head. “All still at the castle as well.” “So what do we have?” “Ourselves and the love in our hearts?” Starlight said desperately as Flurry’s cries redoubled, making Starlight hunch her shoulders. “Okay, we need a new idea.” “Trixie’s got this.” Trixie conjured up an illusionary version of Whammy. “Here you go. Here’s your Hammy or whatever you call it.” Flurry’s cries stopped and she smiled. “Whammy!” She reached out for her toy, but then her hooves passed right through the illusion. Flurry gasped and, feeling a grave sense of betrayal, started crying once again. Starlight started looking around desperately for something to make the foal stop crying. She smiled when something caught her eye and she picked up a rock. “Remember that transformation spell I taught you, Trixie? The one where you turned half of the kitchen into teacups?” Trixie smiled as she caught on. “Right!” She charged her horn, it pointed at a rock, and cast the spell. “WHAMMY!” Flurry stopped crying, but not in joy of seeing her favorite toy; she froze in opened mouth horror at the mutated mockery of her precious Whammy. What they looked at could—only in the most generous terms, by an utterly hammered zoologist on his worst day after he’d been fired for plagiarism, gotten his divorce papers, and had his house burned down—be called a snail. Throwing it in the trash would have been an insult to the rest of the refuse, and if a book for the greatest failed attempts at casting a spell existed this would at least have gotten a dishonorable mention. “Trixie!” Starlight cried as she tried not to look too hard at the failure in child-friendly design. “Don't you remember you need to properly picture what you're trying to make in your mind?!” “I tried to do that!” Trixie realized belatedly she should probably have let Starlight try and recreate a toy she herself only half remembered. Not that she was ever going to admit it. “Here, let me do it before we lose our hearing.” Starlight took a shot at the transformation spell and successfully created a lookalike of Whammy. “There, that should be better.” Trixie let out a breath of relief as Flurry took the copy of Whammy and hugged it. “That helps, but we'll still need to restock everything else. She’s going to need diapers, formula, and everything else that’s back at the castle. Do you have any ideas for where we could—” The False Whammy burst into ectoplasm as Flurry hugged it harder than it could bear. Flurry’s eyes widened like a pony who had just accidentally murdered her best friend. She sniffed and then wailed loudly, making everypony in the area grimace and move quickly to get away from the crying foal. “All of that is back in the castle,” Starlight yelled over the crying. “One of us will need to go back to get it.” “Maybe we could buy some replacements?” Trixie weighed her lightened bitpurse against the cost of diapers, new toys, a bottle, formula, and who knew what else. It wasn’t long before she imagined all her bits disappearing into the financial black hole that was raising a child. “Buuut Trixie doesn’t think she has enough money for all of that after paying for the damages for the flower ponies.” “I didn't think to bring my bitpurse when we fled.” Starlight grimaced. “And I'm going to be bankrupt as soon as Twilight finds out I blew another hole in her castle and blew up all of Spike’s stuff.” “Well ... that's just...” Trixie trailed off as she noticed a strange sensation coming from her rear. A quick check showed the source of the problem. “Why is Trixie's cutie mark glowing?” Starlight checked out Trixie’s cutie mark and then confirmed that her own mark was glowing as well. “Huh, looks like we have a mission from the map.” “Maybe that's what it is?” Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “Or maybe it's that weird crystal tree version of Twilight trying to lure us back to the castle so we can be 'purified'. The map is supposed to be linked to the tree or something, right?” “To the Elements of Harmony, yeah.” Starlight frowned as she considered the possibility. “Wait, can the Spirit of Harmony be deceptive? Is that a thing?” “Do you want to take a chance with the royal foal?” Trixie wasn’t exactly wild about Flurry and how she was slowly giving her tinnitus, but she wasn’t willing to throw her to the wolves either. However good of an argument Flurry was making for her to do that, proverbially. “No.” Starlight shook her head. “This does seem just a bit suspicious given the circumstances. Maybe the glowing will stop if we ignore it for long enough?” “Hopefully.” Trixie looked back at the castle and shivered at the thought of what waited for them back there. “But we do need to go back there. Everything we need for Flurry is there.” Starlight took Flurry and bounced her in place to try and get her to stop crying. “Only one of us should go back there. One of us needs to stay out here with Flurry. The spirit only wants Flurry, so it shouldn't do anything to just one of us heading into the castle. I think.” That seemed logical enough to Trixie, but that left the matter of who should go. She wanted nothing to do with that castle right then, but she didn’t relish the idea of staying here and watching over Flurry. Already she had nearly been killed or worse on multiple occasions because of the foal, and that trend didn’t look like it was going to change anytime soon. Only Starlight seemed at least relatively capable of handling the madness Flurry conjured, which was certainly better than what Trixie could or wanted to attempt. Trixie took a deep breath as she made her decision. “Trixie will go. After all, she's committed far less crimes than you, so the tree should be less inclined to attack her.” Starlight glowered. “Jeeze, thanks for the vote of confidence. You enslaved a town too, you know.” “Trixie was acting under the influence of dark magic.” Trixie tossed her mane. “Besides, Trixie doesn't have a body count, didn’t nearly destroy Equestria with time travel for petty revenge, and the stupid purity obsessed harmony tree might care about that.” Starlight scowled, but she didn’t have a good counter-argument for those points. “Probably. Everything you're looking for should be in one of the guest bedrooms. Except for Whammy, who should still be in the living room.” She grumbled to herself as she sat at a table for an outdoor restaurant. “I'll just sit down to get something to eat while watching Flurry.” “That’s fine.” Trixie would have envied Starlight for getting to sit this one out, but given the day they were having, trouble would probably find Starlight again soon enough. “Um, also...” Starlight smile was brittle alone the edges. “Would you mind spotting me a few bits for lunch? It’d be a bit inconvenient if I got stuck washing dishes to pay the restaurant back for the meal.” Trixie groaned and dropped the last of her bits on the table. The things she did for love. “We're cutting into my traveling savings for my next tour now, so please pay me back as soon as possible. Do you know what happens to traveling magician who can't afford to travel?” Starlight’s face scrunched up as she tried traversing the verbal landmine field. “Um, is that a rhetorical question?” “Yes.” She let out a groan as she turned to face her fate. “Back to the creepy spikey castle with its creepy spirit it is.” Under her breath she said, “Somehow, Trixie prefers that to being in charge of a baby.” Trixie returned to the castle, and at first nothing went wrong. In some ways, that only made it worse as she traversed the castle’s halls. At least when things went immediately wrong you had an idea of what to expect—you knew where you stood with a monster attack, though in Trixie’s case it was less standing and more running in the opposite direction as fast as she could. But that everything seeming to be going smoothly just built up the anticipation that something would go all the more horribly wrong later. Matters were not helped when Trixie wasn’t sure exactly where she was going. Starlight had told her everything was in one of the guest bedrooms, but what she had failed to mention was which one specifically. That was a problem when the castle had rooms in abundance. Half of them weren’t even furnished yet. Trixie half-expected they would be filled with books or failing that, lists, but it seemed even a bibliophile like Twilight didn’t have enough books to come close to filling this place up. Trixie suppressed a shudder at what the property taxes must have looked like. It was as Trixie exited yet another empty guest bedroom that she met a horrible sight that made her let out a brief scream. She clamped her hooves over her mouth as she examined what was before her. Twilight Sparkle stood in her nightgown, its hood over her head, which only served to partially obscure her bloodshot eyes, red nose, and heavy bags under her eyes. Her figure was slouched with fatigue, and her feathers trailed behind her as the feather flu ran its course. Trixie realized that Starlight hadn’t been kidding about Twilight being down with the feather flu, and it seemed to be doing its best to put Twilight down. Trixie did her best to regain her composure, pretty sure this was indeed her old nemesis this time. She was reasonably sure the Spirit of Harmony wouldn’t pretend to be a pony half-dead on her hooves. “Oh. Um ... hello, Twilight.” Twilight groaned miserably. “Trixie? You're not here for revenge again, are you? Because I'm really not up to it right now.” “What? No, Trixie isn't planning any revenge!” Trixie had long ago learned the folly of revenge, and given up the habit. “She's just trying to find some ... er ... supplies.” “Just try not to make too much noise, please. My head is pounding.” Twilight blinked and looked around with a perplexed frown. “I’m just trying to ... oh right, get to the kitchen for breakfast. Or is it lunch now? Dinner? What meal are we on?” Trixie winced. She could see now why Starlight had taken over taking care of Flurry; Twilight wasn’t in a position to take care of herself, much less a foal. Especially one with Flurry’s ... special needs. “Um ... where's Spike, or whoever's supposed to be taking care of you?” Twilight sneezed and several sparks of magic shot from her horn. “He's off visiting Thorax. And last I checked about ... a third? Or more like half-ish of the guards and staff are down with feather flu.” “Including your captain who always glares at me?” Trixie didn’t like the tall one in red armor. For some reason she didn’t trust the Humble and Repentant Trixie to behave herself in the castle and around Twilight. “Yes. I got it from her.” Twilight blinked a few times as her mind swam its way through the equivalent of maple syrup. “Or was it the other way around? Somepony was complaining about somepony getting to bed, I remember that.” “Riiight. Well how about you just go lie down, and get healthy?” Maybe given some time Trixie could do something about getting Twilight some help, but first she needed to complete her mission before something happened to Starlight with Flurry. “Probably a good idea.” Twilight looked around, spinning around slowly as her gaze swept over the many doors surrounding them. “As soon as I remember where my bedroom is.” Trixie saw that the trail of feathers lead right out of the room Twilight had just left, and a quick look around her shoulder confirmed it was indeed the royal bedchamber. “Did you just leave it?” Twilight hacked and coughed before replying. “I think?” Trixie sighed, turned Twilight around, and then gently pushed Twilight in the right direction. “Go back to bed, Trixie will see about getting you soup later or something.” Twilight chuckled awkwardly. “Going back to bed now.” She slowly shuffled her way back to her bedroom. Trixie let out a huff. “Right, now back toaaah!” She jumped when she turned around to see the Spirit of Harmony standing right behind her, its creepy smile and dead eyes directed right at her. “Oh horseapples,” Trixie bemoaned, “you again.” “Where is your mate?” the Spirit asked in its perpetual monotone. “Starlight isn't here.” Trixie smirked. “And Trixie won't tell you where she is.” The Spirit stared blankly at her for a long moment. “You have a map mission.” It pointed to her still irritatingly glowing cutie mark. “You need to spread harmony with your mate.” Trixie was just a bit curious about this. She was reasonably sure the Spirit of Harmony was just trying to trick them into bringing Flurry back to the castle, but there was a small chance there might be some legitimate emergency. Trixie didn’t want to get blamed for somehow dooming Equestria due to miscommunication. “How?” The Spirit tilted its head to the side slightly, as though not understanding the question. “Bring your mate to the map.” “No.” Trixie held up her hoof and waggled it in front of the Spirit’s muzzle. “Not unless you tell me why.” The Spirit’s muzzle wrinkled a bit. “To spread harmony.” “How?” A hint of irritation found its way into the Spirit’s tone. “By going to the map room.” “Trixie thinks you are lying to her to get Flurry.” “The child must be purified,” the Spirit repeated yet again. That confirmed Trixie’s suspicions, and she found herself growing irritated with the Spirit. “No. No she must not. What do you even know about harmony anyway, you big stupid tree spirit? If you're so smart, how come you don't look like Trixie?” The Spirit’s expression changed for the first time, and its eyes narrowed menacingly. “You need to learn about harmony.” Trixie smirked, finding she liked tweaking the nose of the Spirit. “Oooh, did Trixie touch a nerve there? Well too bad, because I’m not going to let you mess with my girlfriend or the baby.” The Spirit stepped forward until they were face to face. “Harmony must be spread. Bring the child here.” “No. Not unless...” Trixie trailed off as an idea entered her head. “Not unless you tell me where to find all her baby supplies, and Starlight's bit purse.” “Oh.” There were several flashes of light and everything Trixie had asked for suddenly appeared next to her, even including Whammy. The Spirit’s usual dull smile returned to its face. “These are what you require for your quest?” Trixie thought of all the ways she could abuse this power, all she could accomplish by stringing such a powerful being along. But on second thought, that might be a hideously bad idea. Also it would be wrong, she thought belatedly. Even if it could be a lot of fun. “That should be it,” Trixie said, contenting herself with what she had. “Then be on your way, my little pony,” the Spirit said. “The child must be purified.” “Yes, Trixie heard you the first dozen times.” Trixie quickly gathered up the supplies, and got out of there as swiftly as she could without it seeming indecent. She just hoped there wouldn’t be any negative consequences for lying to the Tree of Harmony. As Trixie expected, there was trouble when she got back to Starlight and Flurry. A number of ponies wearing bathrobes lay scattered about the street around the restaurant where Starlight was eating. Each was in varying states of incapacitation, some groaning in pain, others pitifully trying to crawl away, while yet more were unconscious. One started to slowly rise on shaky legs when he was suddenly struck down with a yellow beam of magic. Flurry Heart was sitting on a table, squealing in delight and clapping as her horn smoked, all while Starlight watched on and ate a sub in quiet contentment. Trixie picked her way through the robed figures so that she could speak with her fillyfriend. “Starlight, what's going on here?!” “Oh, hey Trixie,” Starlight said through a mouthful of fool. “Just enjoying my meal. This place really has the best sandwiches. You should try one if you’re hungry.” “Maybe in a bit.” Trixie pointed at the ponies lying about them. “Right now Trixie is more worried about what’s going on with all the unconscious ponies.” “Oh, them!” Starlight finished chewing her food and swallowed. “Just a small cult that's trying to kidnap Flurry.” “Trying to—” Trixie spluttered in shock. “Why is there a cult trying to kidnap Flurry?!” Starlight shrugged. “Cult reasons. You know, stuff like using her to become their new dark lord or bring about the apocalypse. Twilight warned me about it, but I was only half-listening.” Starlight paused in thought. “No, wait, she said there were cults trying to kidnap her. As in, multiple groups of weirdos.” It took Trixie several moments to process this news. “Why haven't you called the guards?!” Starlight shrugged again. “They're all unconscious.” She watched as one of the cultists started to rise on unsteady legs. “Or mostly unconscious, one sec.” She pointed at the cultist and said, “Zap.” Flurry giggled in a manner that sounded just a little bit too maniacal for Trixie’s tastes and blasted the cultist off his hooves. “Now to answer your question,” Starlight continued, sounding unconcerned that she had just weaponized a baby. “I figured somepony else would have gotten the guards by now. I mean, I’ve done most of the hard work with some help from my little helper. Isn’t that right, Flurry?” She tickled the foal under the chin, making her laugh. “Do you think it's a good idea to train the foal to blast ponies?” “I don’t see what the problem is.” Starlight got back to eating her sub. “At this point, I'm thinking I'm just training her early to be doing what she's already going to be doing when she's older. Look at her parents and aunts, this type of thing is in her blood. Besides, I've been casting spells all day. It's about time she carries some of the load.” “Zappa!” Flurry burbled happily before blasting another cultist who made the error of moving too much. Trixie, too tired and weirded out to argue anymore, sat down opposite of Starlight. She dug through the bags she’d gotten in the castle. “Hey Flurry, look what I got?” She pulled out Whammy and presented it to Flurry. Flurry gasped. “Whammy!” She took the snail and nuzzled it affectionately. Starlight smiled. “Oh good, you managed to get everything? No trouble then?” Trixie shook her head. “Nothing serious. I did run into the tree spirit, though.” She levitated over Starlight’s bitpurse and half the foal supplies. “Oh, and you can pay me back those bits you owe me now.” Starlight sighed. “Fine.” She started counting out the bits she owed Trixie, but by the time the bitpurse was empty she was still short by half of paying her fillyfriend back. “Um, can I get back to you on the rest?” Trixie tried not to let her irritation show as she pulled out a notepad and wrote out an IOU, one copy for Starlight and one for herself. She wasn’t taking chances with Starlight weaseling out of paying her back her hard earned bits. She’d been screwed out of bits owed to her on one too many occasions as a traveling magician to take chances anymore. “Anyways, the tree wanted me to bring Flurry back, so I said I would.” Trixie smirked. “I didn't say when I would bring her back, though.” Starlight smirked back. “Nice. The tree might not even have a concept of time, or at least one close to our own, so you might just have bought us all the time we need to straighten this out. Long enough for Twilight to get better and take over with Flurry again, anyways.” Trixie grinned and puffed out her chest. “Trixie has her moments.” “So we have all day to relax and enjoy ourselves by the sounds of it.” Starlight pointed at a nearby cultist. “Zap.” Flurry gladly obeyed. “If you're sure...” Trixie’s plans for a well deserved date with her fillyfriend had not gone as she expected in the least. Still, maybe she could still salvage something out of this. They were outside on a nice day and eating a good meal. Sure, there were all the defeated cultists lying about, and Trixie was more than a little bit concerned about Starlight giving a future ruler of Equestria a taste for hurting others as a foal. But that would be for Flurry’s parents to worry about. Right now was the time to relax and spend some quality time together. But before Trixie could settle in, a waitress cleared her throat. She was a slim, mouse of a mare, and she gave them a nervous smile. “Um, excuse me. I'm terribly sorry, but, um, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave.” Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Why?” “It's the, um...” The waitress vaguely waved at the pitifully groaning cultists. “Pile of bodies you're collecting. It's scaring away other customers.” Trixie huffed, irritated that once again her date plan had been interrupted. “They're not bodies, they've only been knocked out.” “And it’s hardly a pile,” Starlight objected. “They’re barely stacked on top of each other at all. It’s more of a body carpet.” The waitress stood her ground and spoke more firmly. “It’s still scaring away the other customers.” Starlight glowered at the waitress. “Hey, this isn't my fault! They attacked us! I was just defending myse—sorry, one sec.” She pointed at another cultist trying to get away from the world of pain she’d gotten herself into. “Zap.” There was a flash of yellow light and another scream. Starlight turned her attention away from her latest act of aggravated self-defense and back to the waitress. “Right, where was I? Oh right, I’m the victim here. I just want to enjoy my meal in peace.” “That’s why I brought you a box and cup so that you can take everything with you. I even poured you a fresh cup for your trip.” Flurry noticed the glower Starlight was giving the waitress and pointed at the mare. “Zappa?” “No!” Trixie quickly lowered the pointing hoof of the foal. “No zappa the nice waitress.” Given how much trouble Starlight had gotten in with the law already in her life, she really didn’t need to add assault with a deadly infant to the list. Sensing they could only get into trouble here and fearing Starlight might lose her temper, Trixie placed a hoof on Starlight’s shoulder. “Let's just go, Starlight. Do you really want to hang out in a place with a bunch of cultists?” Starlight’s nostrils flared, but she didn’t press the issue further. “Fine.” She stood up and started putting away her sub with more force than strictly needed. “Let's go hang out at my cart,” Trixie suggested. “Sounds good to me.” Starlight levitated Flurry onto her back and grabbed her half of the bags. “Flurry's about due for a nap anyways.” Trixie lead the way, her hopes of a nice, normal date fading. Trixie got a campfire going and started pulling out her cooking utensils as the fire warmed up. “Well ... here we are.” Starlight finished giving Flurry a new diaper and let out a huff. “So we are.” She frowned as Flurry sneezed, causing several multicolor sparks to fly in every direction. “She's been sneezing and coughing an awful lot, don't you think?” Trixie shrugged, not knowing everything there was to know about raising a foal. Near as she could tell, they were always sneezing, drooling and/or pooping. “You've spent more time with her, and Trixie's had a bit more on her mind. Like the crazy cultists attacking us, or the tree spirit that wants to 'purify' her.” She sighed as she poked at the fire. “Maybe we should find somepony a bit more qualified to take care of her? Like an archmagus or something?” Starlight frowned. “I'm basically as powerful as an archmagus, you know.” “Of course you are, dear.” Trixie patted her back to humor her. While she didn’t doubt Starlight had a lot of raw power, there was more to being an archmagus than just raw power. Things like education, diplomatic skills, and a functioning moral compass were all things considered desirable for one of the most powerful magi of the land. And—well, Starlight had once thought there wouldn’t be consequences for going into the past to change the histories of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Considering Flurry was ripping holes in reality and creating plant monsters seemingly at random, Trixie had to wonder if perhaps they were above their pay grade on this one. “I told Twilight I could take care of this,” Starlight insisted as she put Flurry down on some blankets with a couple of her toys. “Taking care of her niece is a big sign of trust from her. I don't want her to think I can't handle something this simple.” “This stopped being simple a while ago,” Trixie said. “We shouldn’t be getting run out of restaurants because a whole cult of lunatics attacked us.” Starlight considered this and then her ears wilted. “Okay, so things are a bit weirder than I expected.” “Trixie certainly hopes you didn't expect any of this!” Trixie sighed and shook her head, returning her attention to preparing dinner. She put a cast iron pan over the fire and started getting to work. “Let’s just drop it for now. Trixie didn’t get a chance to eat herself, and it had been a long day.” “Right. So, what's on the menu?” Starlight asked, content with the change in topic. Trixie looked through the supplies she had available. “Trixie only has some basic supplies on hoof since she didn’t have time to restock at the market, but we should be able to get some hoofcakes going, at least.” “At this point, even that would be just fine by me.” Starlight levitated out the supplies and helped Trixie get everything over the fire. “Sorry about our plans for a proper date getting messed up, by the way.” Trixie suppressed the irritation she felt, as she was as magnanimous as she was great and powerful. “It's fine. Sometimes things happen.” She wrapped a foreleg around Starlight once they were done getting started. “Though didn't you just eat?” “Have you seen the way I've been casting spells today? I might as well have ran a marathon. I’m beat.” “Well, okay then.” Trixie grinned and poked her side. “As long as it doesn't go to your flanks.” Starlight snorted and poked back. “You better not be saying I'm getting fat.” Trixie raised her chin in an overly dramatic manner. “Trixie said nothing of the sort.” “Good, because I don't need to worry about my weight on top of everything else I've got to worry about.” Trixie flipped a hoofcake. “Don't worry, you look good. Trixie certainly finds you attractive.” Starlight grinned and settled in besides her and leaned against her. “Right back at you. So how about we just sit down and relax for a bit and enjoy a meal?” "I hope you've got enough hoofcakes for everyone," somepony new called out. Trixie groaned. “Who said that?” Four elderly mares approached them at a sedate pace, one of them being pushed along in a wheelchair by the others. One of their number, a tall unicorn mare with a pale blue coat and faded blue mane, stepped out in front. She smiled confidently as she addressed them. “Just little old us.” Starlight glowered at them. “And who are you supposed to be?” “The Disciples of Daggoth the Destroyer,” the elderly mare announced. “I'm Frosty Morning, the leader of our little cult.” Starlight’s ear twitched. “Oh joy, more cultists. Flurry? Zap.” Flurry flew up and shot a beam of energy at Frosty, but a grey block suddenly appeared in front of the elderly cultist to intercept the beam. The block was blown to pieces by the blast, but the mare stood unharmed, her confident grin still showing. “My word, you're quick to the draw,” Frosty said. “Though I have to say somepony turning a foal into a weapon is a new one. I guess even an old mare can see something new now and again.” Starlight frowned as she reassessed the new band of warlock cultists in front of her. “Okay, so you wackos are a bit better than the last set.” Frosty scoffed. “Don't go comparing us to those loser Sunday dark temple worshippers, dearie. We're the real deal.” Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Aren't you a bit old to be crazy warlock cultists?” Frosty chuckled dryly. “This is a bit of a reunion tour for us old gals, admittedly. One last hurrah before we put it up for good.” The pegasus mare flanking Frosty, one with a yellow coat and green mane, stepped up being all smiles. “Or not if we get our way. We are hoping to get a few rewards from our dark master for this little gig.” “Why are we here again?” asked the unicorn mare in the wheelchair. While the other cultists were certainly getting on in their years, this pony was positively ancient. Deep wrinkles creased her orange coat, and her red mane was badly faded with grey. “I forget what we’re doing.” Frosty signed. “To kidnap the princess and help our dark lord possess her, July. We said this about a hundred times on the train ride here.” “And you really think you can beat me?” Starlight scoffed. “You really have gone senile.” “Honey, given your record, there isn't much to be impressed by,” Frosty mocked. The mare besides Frosty tittered. “Now be nice Frosty, I'm sure she tries her best. I mean, her best isn’t very good, but she tries. That counts for something, right?” “Only if you’re looking for a participation trophy,” Frosty said. Starlight snarled, having had enough of these old ponies. “Okay, fine, you want to play, let’s play. But don't think I'll go easy on you old farts! Trixie, watch Flurry while I take care of this.” Starlight wasted no time in firing a blast at Frosty, but another grey block formed to absorb the attack. Frosty’s horn glowed with a grey light as she coldly appraised Starlight. “Somehow I'm not surprised you'd make this hard. But then, you strike me as the type to ram your head against the wall instead of just going around it.” She nodded to the mare besides her. “Spring, help me out here?” “Can do, darling.” Spring’s whipped out her foreleg, and it suddenly grew up long enough to snake out at Starlight. Starlight teleported clear of the attack, her eyes wide. “What the hay?!” Spring’s now tentacle-shaped leg twitched as it retracted back. “Just a little blessing from our dark lord.” Her lips spread in a savage grin. “Get ready to face Shadowgale LightBane of the Manypathed—” “Spring Breeze,” Frosty said in a flat tone. “Spring is her name.” Spring glowered at her cohort as her body slowly took on a more amorphous shape. “Oh come on now, I like my cult name.” “It's as pretentious as a modern art gallery,” Frosty declared. “Just go by the name your mother gave you. You're sixty-five, for pony's sake, act like it.” “Fifty-nine, thank you,” Spring said with a huff. “And your heart has no poetry.” Starlight’s eyes flicked between them. “Mutated monsters. No big deal, that’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before in this last decade of crazy.” She ripped out several black crystals from the ground and hurled them at her opponents, but once again more blocks appeared to intercept them, throwing fragments of crystals and stone in every direction as they crashed into one another. For her part, Trixie picked up Flurry and watched from the sidelines, unsure of what else to do. To her surprise, the remaining cultist pushed her wheelchair bound compatriot towards Trixie. The elderly earth pony had a faded green coat and a mane with dual-green stripes of a darker shade of green. She gave Trixie a maternal smile as she settled in to watch the fight. “Hello there, I’m Asparagus.” “Asparagus?” Of all the warlock names Trixie had ever heard, that one was the least ... warlock-y. The elderly mare shrugged. “I’m afraid my parents weren’t the most inventive ponies at naming their kids. Anyways, to complete the introductions, this here is July Blaze.” July waved. “Why hello there. You’ve got a cute little foal there, missy.” Trixie eyed them warily, sensing there might be a trick coming. “Um, hello?” “So, how has your day been?” Asparagus watched as Spring’s tentacled arm sprouted into several more tentacles that lashed out at Starlight. She teleported out of the way again, and shot a blast that severed the tentacles off at the elbow. “Insane,” Trixie settled on. Asparagus nodded. “That happens now and again. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches.” “Trixie has been doing her best.” Trixie frowned, not sure how to judge the elderly mares besides her. “Aren’t you going to be joining in on the fight? “Oh heavens no!” Asparagus chuckled. “My fighting days are way behind me. Arthritis makes it too hard on an old mare like me. Even a pony as full of vim and vinegar as Frosty is going to be regretting this fight tomorrow morning, let me tell you. You might feel good at the time when the blood’s pumping, but as soon as you settle down afterwards, it’s nothing but aches and pains and a world of regret. No, I’m just here for moral support for the gals.” “Asparagus, why they fightin'?” July asked, interrupting the conversation. “Does the purple one owe Frosty money?” Asparagus sighed. “No, we're trying to kidnap the royal foal.” July blinked dully. “We are? Why we doing that?” Trixie looked July over. “She's ... not all there, is she?” Asparagus patted her compatriots’ shoulder. “I'm sorry to say July Blaze ain't what she used to be. She used to be our leader about a decade ago, but now ... well let's just say she's like me and here more for moral support than anything else.” “Asparagus, why they fightin'?” July asked again. “Is it because that angry purple one owes Frosty money?” “Yes, she owes Frosty money,” Asparagus answered, humoring her by this point. Starlight had been skirmishing with the two cultists in the meantime, but neither side had inflicted any major damage. Spring had regenerated the damage done by Starlight, and now even more of her body was turning into a mass of tentacles, mouths, eyes, and who knew what else, all while Frosty created more blocks of varying sizes for offense and defense. “Last chance—back off or I get serious,” Starlight declared, her horn glowing brighter. The corner of Frosty’s mouth quirked into a smirk. “Has that ever worked?” “No, I just wanted to cover my plot before I did this!” Starlight’s horn took on a black flame that seemed to absorb the light around it and she lashed out with Blightfire at her opponent. Frosty threw up a half dozen grey walls between her and the attack. The Blightfire stream smashed through one wall after another, but lost power when it hit the last wall. Spring came running at Starlight’s side—or crawling? Perhaps lurching, rolling? It was difficult to say when she was little more than an amorphous blob monster of varying colors by this point. However Spring’s movement was technically classified, Starlight created a wall of solid crystal between her and the incoming monster. Unable to stop its momentum, it slammed into the wall with a wet smack. Starlight teleported behind the monster and set it on fire with Blightfire, causing it to roll on the ground in a nearly futile attempt to put itself out. Out of the corner of her eye Starlight saw a pillar of stone shooting at her, but she teleported again to land right behind Frosty. She fired a stunbolt faster than the old mare could recover and knocked her to the dirt. “Surrender!” Starlight demanded. “If you end up dead, it's your own fault at this point!” Frosty grunted as she stood up with some difficulty. “I’m not done yet, but if you want to play rough, then we're doing this old school.” She created several more blocks that she tossed at Starlight. Several black crystals shot up from the ground and the blocks smashed themselves against the crystals. “Pathetic. You'd think as old as you are, you'd have learned something better. I mean really, is creating stone blocks your only trick?” Frosty spat. “As they say, when all you’ve got is a hammer...” Starlight snorted derisively. “Then every problem looks like a nail?” “No, you get very inventive with what you can do with a hammer.” A block appeared directly under Starlight in her blind spot and shot up to hit her in the gut. Starlight gasped as the air was knocked out of her and she staggered. “Starlight!” Trixie cried out as her fillyfriend was temporarily stunned. Spring was coming in on Starlight, now transformed into something so alien that Trixie had trouble even looking at it directly. It was growing too, now being the size of Trixie’s cart. Trixie couldn’t stand on the sidelines anymore, and she cast a spell to aid Starlight. There was a flash of light normally attributed to a teleport spell, and suddenly there were a dozen Starlights appearing all about the field. Spring came to a screeching halt as it looked around with its many eyes, unsure which target to go for. Asparagus tsked and shook her head. “Sweetie, no. Don’t get involved like that. You're no fighter, and you don't want to catch Frosty and Spring’s attention. Especially when you’re carrying that foal. Best to stay out of the firing line when you can't take the fire.” Her muzzle scrunched. “Or something like that. That sounded better in my head.” “Trixie won't let her fight alone!” Asparagus sighed. “Well if you insist on getting mixed up, at least give me the foal to watch over.” Trixie hugged the foal tighter to herself. “Uh, no. Do you think Trixie was born yesterday?” Asparagus smiled and shrugged. “Can't blame a filly for trying.” “Can I help?” asked July. “You don’t need to do anything,” Asparagus assured her. “You’re doing all you need to right here.” July pressed her lips tighter. “If you say so. But you know I can help. I was a mighty terrible warlock in my day, you know.” She chuckled to herself. “Everypony was scared of me. I was the terror of the land.” Asparagus patted her shoulder. “I know, July. I was there. You don’t need to convince me.” Trixie ignored the two of them and grinned when she saw that Starlight had now recovered and teleported to give herself some space. Frosty was creating and tossing several more of her blocks to hit each illusion and dispel it, but Trixie had bought the time she needed to. Starlight snarled as she picked up a boulder and tossed it at Spring. The abomination was blindsided as she was struck and she was sent smashing into a crop of trees. The sound of cracking timber resounded and a trio of trees fell. “You’re not going to win this just through brute force.” Frosty created several pillar-sized blocks and hurled them at Starlight from different directions. Starlight created a dome shield that withstood the blows. “I can handle you.” “I’m pretty sure you're in over your head. Let me show you why.” Frosty created a pair of blocks the size of a house and then brought them together on Starlight. She teleported clear as her shield shattered, and fired off a blast that forced Frosty to create more defensive blocks. “I'm not even trying yet!” Starlight declared, but her focus was so concentrated on Frosty that she didn’t see that Spring had flattened herself so that she only barely appeared over the grass and was now slithering towards Starlight. “Starlight, behind you!” Trixie called out, but not in time before several tentacles lashed out to grab Starlight. She let out a cry and tried to pull herself free, but to no avail. Starlight changed tactics and unleashed a blast of raw kinetic force centered on herself. The tentacles shredded, and Spring was blown away. Starlight landed on the ground in a pile and she scrambled to her hooves, but she found herself in a cloud of tiny blocks that then started to swirl around in a small tornado that was focused on her. Starlight teleported again to give herself some breathing room. “Is that all you can manage?!” Starlight gathered yet more Blightfire and fired it in a great torrent. “This is all I need!” Frosty threw up great blocks to intercept the Blightfire. The first blocks were annihilated, but yet more were thrown down to reinforce the wall. The two unicorns poured everything they had into the attack, unnatural fire destroying blocks as fast as they could be replaced. Frosty grunted as one line of defense after another was eroded away, every effort having to go into keeping the fire at bay. If it had simply been the two of them, Starlight would eventually have won through sheer magical might, but this wasn’t a one-on-one battle. Spring was working her way around to Starlight’s flank, and Starlight had focused her attention solely on the opponent in front of her. Trixie tried to shout a warning, but the roar of flames drowned her out. Unable to just watch, Trixie did the next thing that came to mind: she charged up the most powerful spell she could, and fired a blast of magical energy into the side of the abomination. The blast sizzled and scorched the side of the creature, but then its many eyes turned in Trixie’s direction and it roared. “Oh horseapples,” Trixie hissed. Asparagus shook her head. “Told ya not to do that. Now Spring’s mad.” Knowing she couldn’t do anything against the monster as it charged her, Trixie held Flurry tight as she cast an invisibility spell over them and ran for it. She only barely got behind a tree as the monster barreled through the spot she’d just been standing. The beast’s eyes searched the area, but it couldn’t seem to find her. As it whipped and whirled around it nearly knocked Asparagus and July over. “Careful now!” Asparagus pulled the wheelchair back to avoid a stray tentacle. “Watch that big plot of yours!” July protested. “I’m trying to find the foal!” Spring said with a hundred mouths. “What if she runs away? Then we’ll never get to please Daggoth.” “Oh stop yer whining.” July’s horn lit and the air started shimmering around her as she maneuvered her chair to face Starlight. “I swear, I have to take care of everything. I’m in retirement, you know. A mare my age should be able to sit back and enjoy her golden days, but nooo, these younger ponies just can’t do a gosh-darn thing for themselves. Let me show you how it’s really done.” July fired a wave of flame so intense Trixie could feel the heat on her face even standing well away from the magical conflagration. It rolled right towards Starlight, and her eyes widened as she scrambled to get a domed shield up in time to intercept the attack. The shield cracked and then shattered as the great fire crashed into it and Starlight was sent sprawling onto the ground, her coat singed from the intense flames. “Owowowow!” July hissed as she rubbed her horn. “Now I remember why I can’t go around doing that anymore. I’m too old to be doing this type of thing anymore. Ow.” Starlight’s shield had taken the brunt of the attack but she was still having trouble getting up again. Frosty didn’t waste any time exploiting the opening given to her. Multiple blocks shot forward to pin Starlight between them, creating an impromptu stone sarcophagus. Starlight tried to cast a spell to free herself, but a block smacked into her horn, painfully disrupting the spell. “That’s enough from you,” Frosty said as she stepped forward. She was covered in sweat and wiped her brow before she called out. “Come on out with the foal, young mare. We’ve got your fillyfriend. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” “Trixie, get out of here!” Starlight called out. “Just run! Forget about—” Her cries were cut short when several smaller blocks covered her mouth. “I'd recommend against running if you care about her,” Frosty said. “Just give us the foal and we’ll leave you two alone. We don’t care about you, so don’t do something that you’ll regret.” Trixie hesitated as she hid. She knew she should run, even if she wasn’t sure where. Maybe all the way to Canterlot? But that would mean leaving Starlight to those evil cultists. She knew she couldn’t fight them, not when they had beaten Starlight. She was no fighter. But the only other alternative was to give them Flurry. The foal was mewling unhappily as she looked up at Trixie, in about as much distress as Trixie. She didn’t know what to do. “Make this easy for all of us,” Frosty called out. “We found you once already, and it’d only be a matter of time until we did again. There’s nowhere you can run where we can’t find you.” “Who we lookin' for again?” July asked. “And why does my horn hurt?” “Not now,” Asparagus said, placing a hoof on the elderly mare’s shoulder. “Your choice—the foal or your fillyfriend.” Frosty lifted Starlight up with her blocks and threatened to crush her. Trixie closed her eyes before she groaned, unable to take it anymore. She dropped her invisibility spell and stepped out of hiding. “Okay! Okay ... just ... don't hurt her.” Frosty smiled as Trixie approached her. “Good. Now just give over the royal foal, and we’ll be out of your manes.” Trixie hesitated as she cradled Flurry in her forelegs, her heart being wrenched as the foal started crying. “I'm sorry.” She offered Flurry to the cultist. Starlight tried wrenching against her binds and tried to scream something, but she was held fast and silent. Frosty took the wailing foal. “Don't feel bad, you never stood a chance.” She nodded to Asparagus. “Do your thing.” “Got it,” Asparagus said in a sing-song. Her body rippled and suddenly she transformed into a big pink cloud that scooped up July and her chair. “Hop onboard, everypony.” Everyone did so, Spring transforming back into her natural form with a series of cracks and pops as she moved. “Come on, then,” Frosty said once they were all on the pink cloud. “We've got a ritual to complete.” The group flew away, and Trixie watched them go, feeling wretched as she did so.