//------------------------------// // Student Counsel // Story: A Dream // by totallynotabrony //------------------------------// “Why are we going to the school?” I asked. Apple bloom had said she knew what to do when my thoughts were too big for my head: get a bigger head.  Twilight had not appreciated that when I arrived at her doorstep. “I told you I knew someone who could help you think things out,” Twilight replied as we walked.  Apparently she was pawning me off on someone else. “At the school?” “Well, we want to help our students any way we can, so we make sure we have somepony on staff who can help them talk through their thoughts.  It helps them to express themselves and amplify their own ideas.” “Thinking for themselves?  Are we still talking about an elementary school here?” “Technically it’s a middle school,” she shot back. We walked in and headed upstairs.  There were a line of ponies standing in the hall and Twilight said, “Here we are.” I glanced forward.  “I can’t even see what we’re standing in line for.” “Trust me, it’s worth the wait.  Now if you’ll excuse me, the girls and I are on our way to Canterlot to celebrate the spring solstice.” “How long will that take?” “We’ll be gone for a couple of days.” I was immediately on the defensive.  “Is this another ploy to get me to run the school while you’re gone?” “First of all, I would never trust you to run this school.” “You did in the other world and I made great strides in reducing the Equestrian Education bureaucracy.” She ignored that and went on.  “Second of all, it’s spring break so the school will be closed.” I gestured.  “It’s open right now.” “Our guidance counselor is very dedicated.” I sighed.  “Can I drink in line?” “I wish you wouldn’t.” “I don’t hear a no.” Twilight sighed and teleported away. For my part, I did stand in line.  Time flies when you’re having rum. With tequila, you just don’t remember it passing. Eventually, I got to the front of the line to find that the door was closed.  I looked around to find that I was the only one still standing there. Was I supposed to knock or something? I did.  Suddenly, Starlight Glimmer teleported in.  My first reaction was to break my bottle over her head and she dropped like a sack of potatoes.  No, actually that would have been if I’d broken a vodka bottle. I stared at her for a moment, but she didn’t move.  Well shit, why couldn’t she have been so easy to defeat in the other world? Strangely, even after my knock and the commotion of the extremely brief fight, the school guidance counselor didn’t open their door. I wondered where I could get another bottle of tequila.  Considering that I hadn’t been in this world for very long, I didn’t think there were any hidden around the school in the places where I'd hidden some in the other world. That may have had something to do with why it was so easy for Chancellor Neighsay to burn it while I was principal. “Starlight?” I heard a voice call. I turned to see Trixie approaching from down the hallway.  “Oh hey Trixie. It’s okay, I took care of her.” Trixie stopped, looked at Starlight on the floor, and the broken glass around her.  “What!?” “I know, right?  Who would have thought you could just hit her?” “You-but-!”  Trixie shook her head.  “Why? What did do? Why did you hit a school guidance counselor?” “School guidance counselor?” Trixie gestured at the door.  “I thought Twilight told you that!” She might have, now that I thought about it. “But why would Starlight suddenly appear right where I was?” “Because it’s her office!  She even has a pager!” Trixie tapped the door.  A bracelet around Starlight’s hoof blinked. I examined the scene, seeing how this looked.  Twilight wanted me to see the guidance counselor.  Starlight was apparently said counselor. She had appeared suddenly because I knocked.   I turned to Trixie.  “So?” “You attacked a beloved member of the community!” “Well first of all, this is Twilight’s fault.  She sent me here and she knew what would happen when I met Starlight.” Speaking of, Starlight groaned just then and started to move.  I wished again I had another bottle. Well, maybe two: one to smash and one to drink because I had a feeling I was going to need both. “Why did you hit me?” she muttered. Attempting to preempt anything Trixie might say, I immediately said the first thing I could think of.  “You startled me.” “Nopony’s ever been that startled when I teleport,” she said, getting up, still a little wobbly.  She frowned as her eyes came into focus on my face. “Wait, I remember you. Twilight said you were unstable.” “And let that be a lesson to you.” “You should apologize,” said Trixie, stepping between us. “She should apologize for teaming up with Heaven and Hell to kill me.” “Hell...underworld…”  Starlight’s eyes opened wide.  “The party in Maud’s cavern! We’re going to be late!” “You take that back,” I said, pointing my hoof.  “Maud is the sweetest pony I know.” “Now you should also apologize for snapping at Starlight,” Trixie demanded. “Wait, you guys are on your way to a party at Maud’s place?” I said.  How could I get in on that? “Can I...say I’m sorry by giving you a ride there?” The two of them glanced at each other.  “Well, okay,” said Starlight, but she still didn't look like she was really okay with it. I flew the two of them there in the ATHSS.  I was mildly surprised to see that Maud lived in a literal cavern, but honestly I guess I should have seen that coming. What I wish I hadn’t seen at all was Mudbriar, the stick pony, who was apparently Maud’s boyfriend in this reality.  The dude had to be trying in order to be as obtuse as he was.  I know some people can’t help it, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to strangle him. I really missed having Sunset around. I hadn’t been invited to the party, but Maud is easy to get along with so it was cool.  Almost immediately, however, the party was interrupted by some hippogriff coming in looking for Silverstream.  This was apparently Terramar, her brother. “I was supposed to meet her at the Mount Aris train station, but she never showed up!” he explained, panicking slightly. “It’s a long way between Ponyville and Mount Aris,” Starlight noted. “She could be anywhere.” “I know she had a big project due for Twilight.  Do you think she might’ve stayed to finish it?” said Terramar. Starlight agreed and teleported out with him. “Cool,” I said, “More cake to go around.” “We should help them,” said Sunburst, who I hadn’t realized was there until just then.  “You brought an airship, right?” “I never said I wasn’t going to help look for a missing kid,” I pointed out.  “It’s a big airship; you can bring the cake too.” We flew off to the school.  Fortunately, I’m good at driving with only zero hooves on the wheel.  The cake was...difficult to chew. It seemed like somebody had put a little too much cement in the frosting.  I wasn’t sure why. Wasn’t half bad otherwise. Back at the school, we circled up with Starlight and Terramar, who apparently had found enough evidence to speculate that Silverstream had gone into the Everfree to find a cockatrice.   Sunburst gasped.  “What!? The gaze of the cockatrice is known to petrify any who dare to cross its path!  And the reptilian birds are elusive and solitary!” “What book are you quoting?” I asked. “How did you know I was quoting a book?” “It’s not like you think for yourself.” He fumbled for a couple of seconds, but had apparently never read a book about comebacks. I turned to the others.  “Well shit, going after a cockatrice?  I get that Silverstream isn’t used to not being under da sea, but if a teenage student thinks going into the Everfree alone after a monster is a good idea, you all are failing as faculty.” “Hey!” Trixie got in my face again, but Starlight waved her away.   “No, he’s right.”  Starlight looked away.  “This never would have happened if I had only helped her instead of telling her to figure out her project herself.” This was a side of Starlight I had never seen before.  Though to be fair, I hadn’t seen very many sides of her after she killed me.  Damn, was she really so different now? We all piled back into the airship and flew for the forest.  Night was setting in now, but with the unicorns of the group providing spotlights, we cruised through looking for Silverstream. Terramar said, “According to Silverstream's research, the cockatrice prefers rocky terrain and ample shade.” Trixie rolled her eyes.  “Rocks and shade. Hmm. I can’t imagine where we’ll find that in a forest.” Just for a moment, I was transported back in time to when I knew her as a daughter and she knew me as a father.  I knew that tone. I knew that attitude. I closed my eyes for a moment. I really needed to get home. Maud said, “Actually, rocks aren’t the most hospitable environment for shade trees.” Mudbriar added, “Technically, pine trees like Pinus Cembra or Pinus Sylvestris can grow from narrow crevasses or cracks in a rocky rhizosphere.” Starlight pointed.  “There's some pine trees over there!” I set the airship down on a low hill and we headed forward.  I wasn’t exactly sure why we had landed - Silverstream could fly - but was just following the crowd.  Being in the back seemed like the safest bet, considering we might be facing a creature with a gaze that could turn things to stone. Make that creatures.  As we reached the edge of the hill, there were dozens of them down below. “I thought you said they were solitary!” Starlight hissed. “They are!” Sunburst whispered back.  “This must be some kind of migration.” “At least there’s no sign of Silverstream,” said Terramar. “Let’s hope she found a good place to hide,” said Sunburst.  “There could be hundreds more cockatrices on the way. If this really is a migration, it’ll take a full lunar cycle to complete.” We got back in the airship and took off again, leaving the flock of cock behind.  Cockatrices, that is. Starlight was rapidly losing enthusiasm.  “This is all my fault. I’m never taking time off from my counseling duties again.  If I hadn't galloped off to a holiday celebration, Silverstream would be safe with her family, and you’d all be enjoying Maud’s party!  Instead, my student is missing and we’re surrounded by a flock of petrifying chicken-snakes.” Petrifying chicken-snakes might be a good name for a band.  I said, “I have a couple of spare ships’ bells here. We could drop them on the cockatrices and shout ‘you just got donged!’ if that would cheer you up.” She looked at me.  “Why would it?” “It would cheer me up.”  I left my position to do just that, but then spotted something on the horizon.  “Is that the old castle?” “That’s right!” Starlight exclaimed.  “I bet Silverstream has gone to the clubhouse!” “The what?” She explained.  The group of kids had built a clubhouse.  I mean, as straightforward as the explanation was, she shouldn’t have just assumed I knew.  I’m from a different universe, lady. Give me a break and/or a handicap parking sticker. We did actually find Silverstream in the clubhouse - along with a cockatrice.  To my great surprise, Starlight’s first response wasn’t overwhelming magic. That was generally her response to everything in my limited experience with her, so I was kind of surprised.  I even had time to pull out my knife and sunglasses. I wasn’t sure if the sunglasses would stop a cockatrice from turning me to stone. Maybe if it choked on them. However, Silverstream quickly waved us off.  “This is Edith. She’s nice. Cockatrices are really friendly if you know how to interact with them.” She gave the cockatrice a few pets.  Sunburst said, “I can’t believe you figured out how to trigger her nesting response.” “She volunteered to help me with my project.  I decided to get it done before I left. The school was closed, so I came here.” “Alone, to an abandoned castle in the Everfree Forest,” I said.  “If there’s one thing I know about Equestria, this is how bad shit usually starts.” “Why didn't you tell anyone?” said Terramar.  “Mom and Dad are worried sick!” “Oh, no! I’m so sorry!  I guess I lost track of time with the school closed.  I’m still getting used to clocks.” Starlight looked guilty.  She had before, too, but she especially did now.  Silverstream didn’t seem to notice and went on. “They are really fascinating creatures.  Did you know that they migrate to the Everfree Forest once a year? Can you imagine what would happen if you stumble on a whole flock of these?” “Probably the same thing that happened to Mudbriar,” I said. Everyone turned to look at me. “What?  I thought Maud would like it.  Plus, I didn’t want to say anything at the time because we were kind of in a hurry and it wasn’t like he could get any more turned to stone.” So after collecting Silverstream we went on a rescue mission for Mudbriar.  He was right where we’d left him and Edith the friendly cockatrice turned him back. Well, as back as he could have been.  Starlight stared in horror. “His p...pe…” Mudbriar was missing a very particular stick. “Well, it’s not like he was ever going to have sex with Maud anyway,” I said hours later as I walked with Starlight towards her office.  “If anything, the world has been done a favor because I no longer have to imagine what that would be like.” We’d got Mudbriar to the hospital.  The wound was kind of raw. Maud’s party was completely ruined, so there was no point in going back and everyone else had just decided to go home.  I wasn’t sure why Starlight was going back to her office. I also wasn’t sure what I was going to do with the stone item I’d removed from Mudbriar, but that was a problem for another day. “None of this would have happened if I’d just done my job,” mumbled Starlight.  We reached her office and she opened the door. She took a few steps into the room and then flopped facefirst onto the guest couch.  She rolled over and covered her eyes. “I’m never leaving my office again.” I looked around.  It was so weird to see her like this.  More weird, this was so obviously not who’d killed me.  Twilight must have done one hell of a mental job on her. It was slightly amazing that Twilight’s mindrapeage - which had apparently worked on Discord, Starlight, and even Sunset - had never come calling for me.  But if she ever tried it, it would probably be better to know how it worked. The best way to do that might be to take this learning opportunity from Starlight. I wasn’t sure if she was in any condition to talk.  She still looked pretty broken up, lying there on the couch. I paused for a moment, and then brought over a chair and grabbed a notebook from her desk.  I sat down in the chair and crossed my legs. Starlight lifted her hooves enough to glance at me. “Tell me how you feel.”