I wake up screaming at the top of my lungs, the image of Shadow Mane laying on top of me once again. I curled up into a ball as I began to sob. I'm so sick of this nightmare...
After a few moments of rocking myself, I opened my nightstand drawer, pulling out a pill bottle.
I stared at the bottle in my hoof for maybe a minute or two, then opened the lid as I poured a large hoof full into my grasp. I hesitate a moment as I just look at the small colorful objects, wondering how they can cause so much harm.
I slammed them into my mouth as I quickly drank a glass of water to wash down the taste, choking slightly due to the large amount. I panted slightly as my mind went into shock at what I was doing, but it had to be done. It's better this way...
After a few minutes, I felt my body growing hotter. I leaned against a wall as I felt my head grow dizzy and light headed. I tried to fan myself with my hooves, but my body only grew hotter. I walked around frantically as I tried to calm myself down, saying this is what I wanted.
I felt like my lungs had been clenched up as I found it hard to breathe followed by a sudden sharp pain in my stomach, causing me to cry out in pain. I lost my balance as I caught myself on the floor, clutching my stomach. I let out a loud scream as the pain grew more. My stomach grumbled as I felt everything inside churning up as I felt the urge to puke, which I did. My body only grew hotter and the pain wouldn't stop. I fell onto the floor as I screamed out bloody murder curling into a ball.
It felt like this was going on for days, or even months, and I deserved it. "This...is what I deserve..." I think to myself as I let out another scream.
I just rolled onto my back as I felt tears filling my eyes as I began to pant rapidly, feeling the foam roll down my face as everything went dark and cold as my eyes rolled into the back of my head.
This is what I deserve...