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// Not my Fault 
// Story: Princess Detective jakkid166 
// by jakkid166 
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"MAKE OUT OF THE WAY!" I THUNDERED into the castle while twilight LIGHTNINGED into the castle behind me.

"But Princess Detective jakkid166!" said Twilighte "What are you gonna make new laws for?"

"For to help the ponies of Equerstia!" I say. "New princess law: Dying is not allowed."

"Wow jakkid that is genius!" said Twilight. "What other porblems do you solve?"

"Lets go outside and see wahat people is suffering from." so me and Twilight went back ouside and walk down the streets of Cantinglot.

"Look," said Twilighte "There is bad stuff!" and she point to a guy who just got murderd.

"Hey I said dying is illegal!" I said and I put him in jail. "Anyway what now?"

"You gotta solve the murder, cause you is princess DETECTIVE jakkid166!"

"New princess law: Everyone else solve the murder for me" I said. And then all the town ponies went to go find the true culpit.

"Holy crap," said Twilight. "You are realy good at being princess."

"Yeah I am," said me. "I shoud get paid more. How much do princess get paid?"

"3000 dollar an hour."

"NEW PRINCESS LAW: I get paid 3001 dollar an hour!"

"WHAT?!" said Twilight "But you canot do that, you will kil the economy!"

But it was too late, the ecomony was collapsed and Twilight and us looked around and buildings was fire and stuff.

"Detective jakkid!" said a pony and they come up to me with the murderer pony. "I found the cuplrit!"

"Sweet" said Twilight "Now jakkid can do tha paperwork to put him in jail."

"WHAT?" I said. "I dont want to do paperwork! New princess law: Murders dont go to jail."

"Hell yeah!" said the murderer pony and he ran free.

"What the fuck?" said Twilight. "Jakkid you cant do that!"

"Yea I can I'm a princess."

"But these laws is wrong!"

"New princess law: You dont talk anymore."

Twilight was mad but she couldent talk anymore so she give me the middle finger and ran away.

"Wait," I said. "I am being a dick again jus like in the christmas special. TWILIGHT come back!"

So Twilight came back and I said "Im sorry Twilight you can talk, I am letting power get to my head. I need you to make sure I dont go insane mad with power!"

SO Twilight came back and said "Its okay jakkid. What do we do next?"

"Shti!" I said "We gota fix the economy!" so i said "New princess law: I get paid $3000 an hour." and then everything was fixed.

"That was close," I said. "Princessship is dangerous. It warp you mind. Thankfully my detective mind can handle it. But stil I must figure out how to change laws without become corrupt. But I had good intentions! What do I do twilight?"

"Well," Twilight "I heard that road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

"Youre RIGHT!" I said. "That must mean that th road to HEAVEN is paved with BAD intentions! So I gotta try to be a BAD princess, and then everything will be GOOD!"

"That makes sense," said Twilight.

"Yeah! So whats the first problem of Equestira we gotta solve?"

"There is lots of bad guys."

"Good point," I said. "So we gotta go let all the bad guys outta jail!" so I looked at Tartarus which was right next to us and we went inside. We walk through the halls and there was all the so many evil bad guys, like Tirek and Co Zyglow and Discord and Joseph McCarthy.

"Damn this place sucks," I said "No wonder no one ever commit crime, except when they do. Which is always."

So I walk into the middle of Tartus and I say aloud "NEW PRINCESS LAW: You all are free to go!" and so everyone got outta their pirson cells and came to me.

"Why the fuck you let us go?" said Tirek.

"To SAVE EQUESTRIA!" I said.

"What"

"Guys never mind lets go do some crazy shit," said Discord. "It is chaos time!"

"Hell yeah!" said Cozy Glow and they three all left and went to wreck havock on the world.

"Another job well done," said me. Twilight and Detective jakkid166 went outside and watch as Tirek went around punching ponies in the face and they started crying because it hurt a lot. Just like in that other story

"Uhhh how is this suposed to make Equestria better?" said Twilight.

"I dont know this was your idea." I said. I watchd as all the other villains whoever those are came outta Tartarus and went around doing evil stuff.

"Maybe this wasnt the best thing to do," said Twilight.

"Maybe not but oh well too late now. Lets go back to castlelot and figure out what to do next." so I rode twilights back into the castle and she slammed me into the floor.

"Alright," I said "Now, we have done the political debate and fixed Equestrias laws. Do those dumb pirncesses even do anything else?"

"Hmmm" said Twilight. "I think sometimes they play Smash Bros. Melee together. We could do that"

"WHAT?" I said. "melee is good but Ultimate is the best."

"Yes but royal budget cannot afford a switch."

"No worry!" I said and I pulld my switch outta my pocket. "Detective salary easily cover the cost of the Switch!"

"Oh sweet!" said Twilight and so we played Smash Bros ultimate on the Royal TV. (Twilight likes to play as Link but I play as myself becaus I am actually the 4th DLC charater.)

~ LATER TIME ~

"Woooooooho!" said Twilight after I beat her for the -5th time.

"I change my mind," I said. "Smash Bros is easy when you are a pony and dont have fingers in the way of you trying to pushe buttons."

"You just mad because you cant solve a case in Smash bros," said Twilight. But then there was a SHOOKING SOUND

"What to hell?" I said and I look around. "What is goign on?"

But then a wall BURST OPEN and all the bad guys from Tartarys came in and corner us both. "Detectiv jakkid166 and Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

"What no I'm the Princess here." I said.

"Whatever" said Tirek. "We are evil, and so we ar gonna steal all of you guys magic so we can RULE THE WORLD!"

"Damn I forgote about that." I said. "Wait but im a Detective, I dont have magic."

"Oh yeah darn." said Tirek. "Ok well TWILIGHT I am stealing you magic now!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" said Twilight and Tirek SUCK HER DRY.

"Hahaha," said Tirek "I am like a magic vampire. Did you ever see that movie called Twilight?"

"No," I said "I hate dose movies."

"WHAT?" said Tirek. "Twilight is the BEST movies! Tetective jakkid I am gonna sit you down and make you watch ALL the Twilight movies until you like them!"

"WHAT?" I said "NO!"

"Yea wel what are you gonna do bout it?" said Tirek and he laughed.

So I pulld out my gun and said "Did you forget about this idiot?"

"Bulets dont work on me!" said Tirek "I am ivnecible!"

"This is not my shooting people gun." I said and I SHOOT IT INTO THE AIR and it explode into the sky and it sayed "PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA GET BACK TO CASTLE RIGHT NOW PLEASE"

"Fuck bitch!" said Tirek and he punch mein the face. "We are put you in dungeon. I am the princess now."

"Dammit," I said "You peace of dick!"

But then a pony ran up to me and said "HEY jakkid we found another murderer!" he said and held up some random pony I dont know.

"Cool thanks," I said and I fall unsconscious.

TO BE CONTINUED