An interjection, if you will, Princess. Although the flight spell clearly has its dangers, I couldn’t in good concience not agree to show it to Starbreaker. A unicorn living in the clouds was as a clear disadvantage, and indeed even in a certain amount of danger all the time. She claimed it was only due to the efforts of her friends that she hadn’t already gone splat against the ground below.
Yes, she really used the word ‘splat’. Rather cheerfully at that.
I agreed to show her the book I found the spell in, and that bought me the rest of the afternoon to handle the work that had built up. Starbreaker interrupted me only twice, to request clarification on some of the magical concepts she was unfamiliar with, and I prepared a small stack of books for her to read to cover the essentials. I also agreed to help her carry them back to the room she was renting before the party that evening.
Ah, yes. The party.
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I stared, quite impressed, at the construct Pinkie had managed to put together in such a short period of time. It was a model of a sailing ship, built from gingerbread wafers and icing, with three masts and square sails made out of rolled cardboard and paper decorated with balloons and stars, but also with several helium balloons tied to the tops of the masts. The ship was about half the size of a pony and rested on a table arranged with fluffy pink cotton candy to represent clouds. A scattering of cupcakes with star shaped icing were arranged through the clouds as if the ship was pushing them aside, ‘breaking’ the stars, and even more noticable was a large, colorful pie on the deck of the ship.
Wow, Pinkie really had gone all out. Cake, pie, and gingerbread in a single afternoon and evening?
The weather was great so she’d set up in the town square, with tables and snacks and balloons and a big ‘Welcome to Ponyville!’ banner Rarity had made for her. I know that Pinkie actually does stockpile party supplies, and spends most of her bits on them.
“Everypony!” Pinkie yelled, getting the crowd’s attention. Not the biggest crowd, but pretty good for short notice. Even Big Macintosh had shown up and he usually misses these things. “I’d like to welcome a new pony to Ponyville. Step up and say hello to Starbreaker! She’s in from Cloudsdale! Isn’t that just super duper amazing?!” She bounced down and put a hoof around Starbreaker’s neck.
“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever had a welcome to town party before,” Starbreaker admitted.
“Well then we’ve got to get you your first piece of Ponyville cake! We’ve got punch and soda and fruit and candy and cupcakes and gingerbread and pie! Watch the red star cupcakes, though, they’re fireballs!”
Duly noted, thanks Pinkie.
“Umm, what’s with that pie?” Starbreaker asked.
“The pie on the gingerbread ship?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s rainbow pie!” Pinkie said, delighted that it was noticed.
What.
Pinkie proudly pulled the pie off of the deck of the gingerbread ship and displayed it for all to see. It was, in fact, a pie that seemed to be filled with a swirl of rainbow colors. In fact, it kinda reminded me of-
“Oh, Pinkie,” Dash said, clopping one hoof over her face. “Did you make a pie out of what I think you did?”
Starbreaker sniffed off it cautiously. “Is that… liquid rainbow?” she asked, clearly torn between horror and being grudgingly impressed.
“Yep!” Pinkie chirped. “I managed to get Ditzy to import a few bottles of it after the race but it’s taken me this long to come up with a recipie that uses it. When I tried it straight it was… um, spicy. But it’s all about finding harmony in the different flavors! Try it!” Quick as a wink, she had a slice of pie on a plate and held it out for Starbreaker.
“Umm, well, okay.” She levitated a fork up and took a cautious slice off the wedge of pie. There was only a moment of hesitation before she popped it in her mouth and chewed.
Munch, munch.
Suddenly her rainbow mane sparkled, each color lighting up and becoming dominant for a moment before giving way to the next. Her eyes grew wide, shimmering wetly. Perhaps it was some trick of the tears welling up, but I swore I saw the characteristic arch of a rainbow in each eye. She collapsed onto her rump.
“It’s… beautiful…” she whispered, staring into whatever vision the pie had granted her.
“And only mildly hallucinogenic!” Pinkie said brightly. “It’s win win!”
Starbreaker shook herself, coming back to her senses. Then took another bite. “It’s good,” she said, mumbling slightly around the mouthfull of pie. With her horn she snapped off a section of gingerbread ship railing and used it as a pie topping. Of course, she was quickly lost in another rainbow vision, but each bite only seemed to cause one that lasted around ten seconds, so I guess it was okay.
Pinkie rapidly served pie to the rest of us, small slices, trying to make sure everyone got a taste, I hope, and possibly diluting it below an LD50, I feared. In case you’re not familiar with chemistry terms, LD50 is the amount of whatever compound that is deadly to fifty percent of exposed test subjects. I’m sure Pinkie wasn’t careless enough to poison us in the name of pie, but at the same time, there’s bound to be some kind of reason no one has used pure liquid rainbow in cooking.
Rainbow Dash was the next pony to be served, and Applejack, and so on down the line until I was given a slice. I confess, I was so preoccupied worrying about that pie that I didn’t pay much attention to the others. When I finally took a bite… Let’s just say it’s like half a sonic rainboom went off behind my eyes and leave it at that. However, it was actually pretty good.
“Ah must say, I might like rainbow pie better’n even apple pie,” Applejack said with a saucy grin.
That got my attention, because I know Applejack loves apple pie more than anything else except maybe a fresh apple from one of her own trees.
Everyone was grinning now, except me, of course. I was looking back and forth between my friends in confusion.
“But you love apple pie,” I said, confused.
Applejack sidled over and put a conspiratorial sort of hoof around me. “True, true, I do love me some apple pie. But, y’see Twilight, there is a thing as too much pie, and I don’t think Pinkie ever really understood that.”
“Oh, but I love apple pie sooo much!” Pinkie said. “How could I choose between the two?” she continued, taking on a meladromatic tone. “Oh, woe is me, caught between apple and rainbow…” She pressed the back of one hoof to her forehead, spun twice, and fell backwards to be caught by Fluttershy.
“Well, I like our Pinkie Pie just the way it is,” Rarity proclaimed. “Really, not everything needs embellishment. Why, could you imagine a Rarity Pie? All stuffed full of gems?”
“Um, I bet Spike would love a pie named after you,” I guessed. “Especially with gems.” I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but I was giving it a try anyway.
Pinkie giggled like a madpony, no longer propped up exactly so much as draped across Fluttershy. “Spike is a naughty boy,” she said with a giggle.
Rarity flounced her mane. “Spike,” she replied precisely, “would not know what to do with a rarity pie.”
What?!
“Oooh, oooh, what about a flutterpie?” Pinkie said, playfully tugging one of Fluttershy’s wings up to partially cover herself. “I don’t know what you’d put in in it but I bet it’d make you feel warm and cuddly and all gooey inside, like playing with baby squirrels in a meadow full of daisies wrapped in a blanket in front of a fire drinking hot chocolate with your best friends.” She nuzzled Fluttershy’s mane affectionately.
Fluttershy was blushing like the setting sun.
“So… this is some kind of name game?” I asked hesitantly.
They all stared at me in disbelief. Even Pinkie slid off the other side of Fluttershy’s back and ended up looking at me upside down from the ground.
“I’m missing some subtext here, aren’t I?” I asked with a sigh.
That set them off, all of them, even Fluttershy, FLUTTERSHY, laughing helplessly at my confusion. Rainbow Dash fell over backwards, and Applejack covered her face with her hat trying to keep her chuckles from getting too loud. Even Starbreaker, who’d been largely quiet but still part of the conversation, seemed to be giggling at my confusion.
Wonderful. They’re all in on the joke.
Pinkie sprang to her hooves and bounced over to me with one of the biggest, most heartfelt smiles I’ve ever seen on her face. She wrapped both front legs around my neck and gave me a hug that somehow said that she wasn’t laughing at me and that I shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but nevertheless I’d said something very funny and she loved me for it. It was a very complex hug, and it smelled like pie.
“Oh, Twilight,” she said, “if I ever made a pie with you, it would be full of stars and magic and imagination itself.”
“But it might turn out to be a cake,” Fluttershy spoke up in a sly tone, causing the others to laugh even harder.
Really? Just… REALLY? Even Fluttershy is giving me guff?
“I’m still not understanding the theme of the conversation,” I said, well, grumped, somewhat irritated.
“Maybe when you’re older,” Pinkie said, giving me a peck on the cheek and bouncing away before I could protest.
“Pinkie! I’m older than you are!”
She was ignoring me. I turned to the others.
“Anyone? Anyone want to explain this to me? Hey, where are you going?” They were ignoring me, and they wouldn’t stop SMILING.
Doesn’t this just figure? Every time some awful beast with too many eyes pops up and starts scaring ponies, it’s all ‘Twilight, what is that? You read books, Twilight, how do we stop it? Tell us what to do, Twilight!’ but the minute I have some questions about rainbow pie suddenly everyone is deaf.
I see how it is.
I’m going back to my library.
Author's Note: Sorry folks, that's all for now. I'm working on a Blueblood and Chrysalis fic right now as my main project. Mean ponies of Equestria, unite!