Valey raised an eyebrow at Felicity, then folded her ears. "Alright. I mean, I'm your guest here. It's not like there's anything better for me to do." She sighed. "So what do you want from me?"
Felicity regarded her with concern. "Oh, this isn't about me, darling. It's about you having a bad reaction to what should be a fun and innocuous topic of conversation and when I press, you immediately tell me you're not okay. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't offer to help?"
"Meh." Valey looked away. "Listen, it's a cool sentiment, but this is just what I get to live with. I deal with it, and the fact is I used to be a jerk and doing the stuff I used to is no way to treat my friends. They don't deserve it. I feel like you're pushing me to go back and live my old life and run around and repel everyone by being absolutely shameless, and I won't. It's not worth it. And before you tell me I don't sound all that happy right now, that's just paying the price for being who I used to be. Sometimes your past just comes back to haunt you."
Felicity folded her forelegs, settling down with her hooves tucked beneath her. "Oh, believe me, I could write a book on that subject. Grudges in Gyre can last until death, and beyond it if you have allies. And my physical state is a testament to things that occurred decades ago. Not to say you don't have baggage of your own, but in a lot of ways I envy you, being able to hop on an airship and leave all that many thousands of miles away."
"Yeah, but that's the easy part," Valey groaned. "Some dude tracks me down or remembers my face, big deal. I can beat anyone in a fight. I think it's even happened before in a bar here..." She rubbed her face. "Yeah, I have gotten away. I've left it all behind, and it needs to stay that way."
Felicity bit her lip. "Well, I beg to differ. It's clearly still causing you no small amount of consternation."
"No, that's because-! Ugh." Valey slumped hard against the floor. "Look, I used to make a game of annoying ponies and driving them away. When they're going to be against you either way, it feels a lot less unfair if you can say it's your fault. At least then you get to brag and be creative about it. Get some laughs in. And now I know better, I've learned my lesson, I can have friends and just need to not act like a brat trying to justify being alone again. Because I'm not. You get that, right? Please tell me you get that."
"Sound logic, perhaps," Felicity admitted. "But it certainly is making you unhappy."
Valey winced. "Look, I'm a lot happier than I was in Ironridge. It's worth it."
"Are you really?" Felicity insisted. "Because it sounds like you feel poorly about who you were, poorly about who you are, and didn't used to have issues with either."
"What the bananas are you trying to say!?" Valey's eye twitched, and her temper rose. "That I should go back to being a lonely jerk? I woke up to that now! I can't go back! I won't! Why are you trying to make me!?"
"Using my brand, darling," Felicity sighed. A second later, Valey's mind dulled, like someone had lain a gentle blanket over her anger. Felicity watched her face for a moment. "I'm sorry. Going back to normal."
Even after the sensation lifted, Valey felt thoroughly doused, her mane almost physically deflating. "Bananas..."
Felicity watched her with concern. "I have a hunch, and I'd like you to tell me some things. This isn't the first conversation you've had about your self-image and feelings on your past, is it?"
"No." Valey's chin slumped against the floor. "Harshwater's been bothering me about it too. No one gets that being here is so much better than where I was..."
"There is such a thing as being better without being good enough," Felicity offered. "So when did it happen? Were you still in Ironridge when you were... awakened to whom you had been?"
"Heh. Nah." Valey laughed weakly into the ground. "Back then, I had just made my choice and was a little too busy fighting for where I was going to worry about where I had been. And I always knew I was a jerk. I did it deliberately, after all."
Felicity slowly nodded. "It doesn't sound like it slowed you down, then. So when was it you started feeling truly bad about this, if not there? You said you and Amber had somehow been involved before, after all. I can only presume this was between when you left Ironridge and when you started having... this reaction to a conversation that started because I thought you were horny and fun to tease."
"I..." Valey swallowed, eyes unfocusing in thought. "Bananas, I don't even know."
"If you could remember," Felicity whispered, "it might be worth it."
Valey thought in silence, but barely lasted a minute before she wrapped her wings over her head. "I got nothing."
"Still," Felicity said, "it really does sound to me as if you've got something more going on than just a history of being unflattering. I wish we could get to the bottom of it."
"That would be nice," Valey admitted. "But you seem to think I've got enough on my plate already without digging up new problems for me to worry about, right? Look, I agree I don't feel great, but compared to the alternative this isn't that bad."
"Stop saying that," Felicity warned. "That's definitely part of your problem, making yourself believe you're fine when you really, really aren't. Ever had issues with that before?"
Valey blinked, eyes slowly widening. "Aww bananas..."
"Oh, really?" Felicity raised a curious eyebrow. "Don't tell me we're getting somewhere, now."
"Oh bananas," Valey whispered, tight and breathless. "No, stop it. You're right. I haven't changed. Stop it, no! Bananas, I don't wanna cry..."
Suddenly, Felicity was by her side, a wave of calming all that was standing between Valey and tears. "Shh, darling. On your hooves. The bed will much more comfortable than the floor, I promise."
Shakily, Valey got up, clinging onto Felicity's aura just as hard as the mare's actual shoulder. No sooner than she crawled in, though, the calming field disappeared, her emotions rising again like a tide she couldn't push down. What was she thinking? She had yelled at Harshwater, yelled at Felicity, felt worse about herself than she had in Ironridge, and through it all she was doing this again? Telling herself this was as good as it could get. That it was worth it. That this was fine, when it wasn't. It was unfair and she couldn't see the way ahead, only that the place she was standing was being overrun by a slow, inexorable flood of emotional ooze and she was about to be swept away too, and Felicity wasn't even using her cutie mark to help her hang on.
"No..." Valey felt her breathing start to speed up. "Do that again. Give it back, help..."
"Calm you with my brand? I shan't," Felicity declined primly, standing at the side of the bed. "Magic is an emotional bandage for treating symptoms, not wounds. And darling?" She smiled, putting a hoof on the bed. "If you've been in denial of your situation, forcing yourself to live with it and depriving yourself of the chance to try for something better, you need to let yourself feel this."
"B-But... no... I can't be! I didn't change," Valey protested, wetness growing in her eyes, as if admitting it one more time would make a difference. "What am I doing? Why can't I do anything? I'm just going to bury my head in the ground and drive everyone away...!"
With a rumpling of fabric, Felicity was by her side once again. "Drive everyone away. Well, I can't speak for your friends, though if they abandoned you for having emotions I'd have a very low opinion of them indeed. But I can tell you what I'll do, and you just watch and see if I let you see yourself through this alone."