//------------------------------// // Student Counsel // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// Dear Starlight, What The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to know is do you even have time for her anymore? It seems like you are always putting your job ahead of her. Look, if you want there to be a chance of us getting married someday, you will put The Great and Powerful Trixie ahead of work or at least make some sort of schedule that will only make you available from 0800-1700 Monday through Friday for those students to come and whine to you about their problems. The rest of that time needs to be dedicated to The Great and Powerful Trixie. Other couples put each other first and Trixie thinks we need to be the same way. Upset, The Great and Powerful Trixie P.S. Trixie certainly hopes that this is not your way of trolling her. Twilight has told Trixie about how you may be the daughter of the troll of all trolls and if that is true, please don't be like your mom. Trixie does not want to marry a troll. Dear Trixie, Look, it is just a matter of me taking my job as the guidance counselor very seriously. You know I have a checkered past and I feel like that by being the best, most helpful counselor in Equestria that I can make up for it. I'm sorry, ok? I'll make office hours so that you won't feel like I'm abandoning you ok? However, if one of the students go missing like Silverstream did, it will be my moral duty to go searching for them. Being Honest, Starlight Glimmer To the cockatrices, Why couldn't you have just turned Sunburst into stone and then made sure he shattered like the Storm King? The Great and Powerful Trixie is very upset that you did not wipe out a pony that she simply does not like! Now Trixie has an important mission for all of you, go to the Crystal Empire, break into Sunburst's house and turn him into stone and then flee the scene before anypony can force you to turn him back. Trust Trixie, she will make it worth your while. Hoping You'll Turn Sunburst into Stone, The Great and Powerful Trixie Trixie, *Screech, squawk, screech!* The cockatrices Dear Starlight, I can not believe what a shitty guidance counselor you are. My daughter was simply asking you for advice on how to describe showers to us seaponies since we live underwater yet you just blow her off? Even worse, my son had to join you in looking for her in an area that is infested with chicken/snake hybrids that could have turned all of you into stone? I have half a mind to go tell Twilight about what you did but I really don't feel like associating with a pony who wanted to get me in bed. Just don't let this happen again, ok? Sincerely, Ocean Flow Dear Ocean Flow, Look, your daughter continued to ask me question after question when my marefriend and I were trying to plan a party for one of our friends but thanks to her, my marefriend had to do most of the work and she wound up accusing me of putting work ahead of her. Look, I do not want to risk losing my sweetie because of Silverstream's overly curious nature about things that can't be experienced by seaponies. Thinking your Daughter is Overly Curious, Starlight Glimmer Dear Fluttershy, Guess what, I can do something that you can't! Now I have heard you broke out of being turned to stone by a cockatrice but I figured out how to get them to calm down and not want to turn anyone to stone. Yep, if you communicate with them just right and are nice to them, they are actually quite docile. Yes you may be able to communicate with animals and calm manticores and Cerberus down but even you can't calm down a cockatrice! Perhaps the communicating with animals thing should just be left to me now and you can go be the slutty yellow pony Yona knows you are, you can just go screw Dr. Fauna all the time from now on. Much Better than You, Silverstream To My Overly Hyper Student, Oh so you think you are so great now huh? I get it, you can calm down cockatrices but I'd love to see you go calm down Cerberus and a manticore. I know you couldn't do it so just shut up. You can handle those stupid things, I'll take care of everything else. Your Teacher, Fluttershy Dear Princess Celestia, I was excluded, again. This is the third time in four episodes and I thought the writers were going to focus on ME more this season. They promised me that I would be the star but they were obviously lying. I should have known those assholes would lie to me and put other characters ahead of me but I'm pretty sure this last one was probably ordered by you since Starlight is more valuable than gold to you. Just you wait though, when I am crowned Queen of Equestria in the very end and I run you, your sister, your precious Starlight and Trixie out of what will be MY COUNTRY, I will get the last laugh. Once that happens, so many ponies are gonna die and I'm sure you know which two will be first on my list. Damn I can't wait to fulfill my true destiny, taking Equestria as my own! Equestria's Future Queen, Queen, I mean Princess Twilight Sparkle To the Tyrant Princess, Are you simply testing me to see how much longer I will put up with this before I reverse that longevity spell and have you assassinated or what? You should know damn good and well that you will NEVER become queen. Once my sister and I do decide to retire, we will put Starlight and Trixie in power to take care of this land. I know for sure that Starlight will kill anything that messes with Equestria while you will simply try and use friendship to reform them....either that or if it is a hot female, get them in bed. I know you're probably going to go shitting bricks and bitch to the big brass about this but Starlight is my favorite and never has she destroyed things like you have. You have destroyed so many things, well you and your slave but Starlight has done none of the such. She is a perfect angel and is the embodiment of perfection. Knowing Starlight is the Best, Princess Celestia