//------------------------------// // Housebreaking Applejack (Applejack) // Story: Potty Training Tales // by SuperPinkBrony12 //------------------------------// It was the night before a day of great significance and importance at Sweet Apple Acres. The day when the youngest member of the Apple family would officially undertake a monumental step forward in development, leaving the old way of life behind and starting a new and better one.   That is to say, it was the night before Autumn Glory (the son of Big Macintosh and Sugar Belle) was to begin potty training. While the Apples had upgraded their plumbing facilities a little, for the most part it was the same as it always was and likely always would be. Just an outhouse near the orchard.   Normally, potty training wouldn’t be an issue for the Apple family. They were pioneers of old, the tried and true “bottomless training” where they taught their foals to feel the rhythm of nature as it ebbed and flowed through their body (or else feel the rhythm of a hoof across their rump if they had too many accidents). But while Autumn Glory’s red coat had been inherited from his father, and his golden locks were close to his father and grandmother, from his mom he had received the genetics that made him a unicorn.   And for the Apples, a unicorn foal was vastly different from an earth pony foal. Despite the insistence from Sugar Belle that potty training would not be too much of an issue, Granny Smith had been called on to provide some last minute advice. She had been down this road several times before: Being trained herself, training her son and daughter, and practically having to train at least two grandkids.   The elderly mare’s idea of advice though, was to gather the entire family (sans Sugar Belle who was out of town and would not be back until tomorrow at the earliest). Her three grandkids and her great grandson sat on the living room sofa, Autumn Glory resting on his father’s lap. And as Granny Smith sat in her favorite rocking chair, she began to tell her story. “Big Mac wasn’t anythin’ too out of the ordinary. Only problem with him was that he was a might bigger than most foals his age, and goodness did he love to talk.”   Big Macintosh said nothing, he just looked away and had anyone been looking closing they might have seen a blush well hidden amidst his already red coat.   Granny Smith paused for a moment, as if to gather her thoughts, then her face seemed to morph into a rather goofy grin. “Applejack though, hoo whee was that little filly a problem. For a time, I wasn’t sure we’d ever get her properly trained.”   Now it was Applejack’s turn to blush. “Granny, please don’t tell ‘em! I feel ashamed just thinkin’ about it!”   But Granny Smith winked. “Sorry, Applejack, but it’s for the benefit of the youngin’ here.”   “Auntie Appwejack was in diapees?!” Autumn Glory exclaimed as his moderate reddish-pink eyes seemed to widen.   “Well of course, little one. Everypony was in ‘em at one point, ‘cause everypony was a youngin’ once upon a time,” Granny Smith cooed as she rocked back and forth. “And eventually, everypony grows old enough not to need ‘em. Like you’re gettin’ to be,” She cleared her throat. “Anyways, we stared tryin’ to get Applejack out of diapers when she was not much older than you are now, Autumn. Of course, I remember it wasn’t smooth sailin.”     Granny Smith’s mind began to flashback to a time when she was much younger, when her son and his wife were still around, and most importantly when Big Macintosh and Applejack were the only foals on Sweet Apple Acres.   Big Macintosh had long since graduated from diapers by the time Applejack was ready to leave them. All the usual fanfare accompanied that first step towards being free of the aforementioned padding.   Bright Macintosh held his daughter’s orange colored hoof as they trotted across the orchard grounds, their destination known only to the stallion himself.   “Where we goin’, Pa?” Applejack asked as she looked up at her father.   “Someplace you’re gonna be seein’ a lot of more of from now on, Applejack. Your ma and grandma say it’s time you started learnin’ how to use it, and you know I ain’t one to disagree with them,” Bright Macintosh cheerfully replied as the destination fast approached. A humble, wooden structure not unlike a shack, with a crescent moon carved over the door. “Let’s just step inside, and I’ll explain.”   Applejack wondered what the strange shed was for (she knew others were used to store apples and farm tools). Nevertheless the little earth pony did not loosen her grip and allowed her father to escort her inside it. A little ways away was what appeared to be some kind of massive hole, with a pile of old newspapers next to it. “Pa, was tat?” The little filly questioned as she blinked her eyes.   Bright Macintosh smiled. “This is the outhouse. That’s what you’re gonna do your business in from now on instead of a diaper.”   Applejack looked down at her padding. “No more diapee?” It was an intriguing possibility, she could explore the farm even better if she didn’t need to keep coming back to the house for changes. But it seemed too good to be true, like a lot of other things.   “Yup, you’re old enough now not to need ‘em. It’s time you started usin’ the toilet like everypony else.” Bright Macintosh explained.   “This is a … toiwet?” Applejack blinked, the word sounded alien to her.    “Yup. Well, not some fancy flush model like I hear they’ve got in places like Canterlot now, but I doubt there’s any pony in all of Ponyville that’s got a better one than what we’ve got. It’s really simple,” Bright Mac gestured a hoof to the hole. “You just stand over that there hole, and do whatever you need to do. Then you just take some of that paper, wipe yourself, and dump it in the hole too. No mess, no fuss.”   The little filly trotted forward very slowly. That hole looked almost big enough to swallow her. To say nothing of the fact that it smelled like her diapers before her mom or dad changed them. “Me have to use tat?”   “Eeyup,” Bright Macintosh uttered his favorite way of responding to any question. “Why don’t you try it out? Get a feel for how it works? Just gotta take off your diaper first, wearin’ it gets in the way of usin’ the potty.”   Applejack was still a little dubious but she did need to go, so she allowed her father to unpin her diaper, got into position, and let nature take it’s course.   “Well look at that,  right away! I knew you’d be good at this!” Bright Mac was surprised how well this was going compared to last time, were fillies just easier? “Now just let me wipe you this time.”   But Applejack was still in thought as she bent over, tail still raised. “So thew are toiwets all over the acews?”   Bright Mac shook his head as he tore off part of the top newspaper. “Nope, just the one here. Though we have potties under our beds for when we have to go in the night or in case of bad weather. You can pick one out of the attic next if you like.”   But the little earth pony stuck out her tongue. “No potty. Potty stupid.”   “It’s not stupid, everypony uses it. Even mommies and daddies. Heck, even your brother uses it.” Bright Macintosh replied.   “But onwy in one pwace. I have to come back here evewy time I hafta go,”. It was bad enough knowing that the feeling of her diaper filling was a signal to return, and she could at least take her time about that. But she couldn’t tell when it was coming more than a minute or two in advance. Under the new rules she’d be as trapped as the farm’s sheep in their pen! And that image brought another, more fundamental problem with the concept to mind.  “Animaws no use towit. Cows, pigs, doggies, they go whevew and is good fow soiw.”   Bright Macintosh blinked in surprise, he hadn’t been expecting such an argument from his own daughter. “Well, you’re not an animal, Applejack. We Apples may live on a farm, but we are civilized ponies. We don’t just do our business wherever we want and then don’t bother to clean it up.”   “Did’wn’t you do tat befowre,” Applejack insisted, narrowing he little eyes as she recalled an incident the previous month. “And Mommy did it other time, said grown-up ponies don’t use diapees.”   “Well, yes, we do sometimes” Bright Mac prevaricated, he really wished that his wife had given a more thorough explanation of how just because down-to-earth farmers like themselves occasionally relieved themselves on the job, it wasn’t the same as them being uncivilized. “But we already know how to use the outhouse, so it’s not the same…”   “I know how,” Applejack pointed her hoof at the pit. “Just did.”   “Yes, so you should use it most of the time, like me and your mama…” Bright Mac argued.    “It not faiw, animaws no use it. Why me have to use it?” Applejack snorted.   “Applejack, I told you why. Now stop bein’ stubborn,” Bright Macintosh demanded as he approached his daughter. “If you cause any trouble…   But Applejack only turned and ran off. Since the outhouse door wasn’t fully closed, she ran through it and back across the orchard, her bottom bare.   “Applejack! You get your flank back here this instant!” Bright Macintosh demanded as he gave chase after his now diaperless daughter.     The little filly didn’t bother to slow down at all. Without her diaper to slow her down she was free to run as fast as she wanted. And of course, if she did have to go at all she wasn’t going to stop. Why bother to stop when the animals clearly didn’t need to stop when they had to go?   She didn’t even notice as she ran smack into her mother’s hooves, staring up at her. “Applejack, what are you doing out here? I thought your daddy was gonna try potty trainin’ you?” She blinked in surprise.   Big Macintosh poked his head out from behind Buttercup, snickering as he looked at his little sister. “Let me guess, you got scared of the potty monster. You’re afraid you’ll fall in, and that it’ll eat you up.”   “Not scawed, I go just fine!” Applejack boasted with a snort.   “No way!” Big Macintosh teased. “I did it first time, but I’m not a little runt like you!”   Buttercup intervened to break up the argument. “Now Big Mac, you know it’s not nice to tease your little sister. Wasn’t it you who fell in, your first time?. And even now, you don’t always remember to use your pot before bed, or knock it over getting up!”   “Ma, I do not!” Big Macintosh whined as he could hear his little sister giggling into a hoof.   Buttercup simply ignored her son’s comment, looking down at Applejack as she picked her up. “It’s totally okay if you’re afraid, Applejack. But I can assure you that the potty most certainly does not eat foals, or anypony else for that matter. Everypony uses it, and it’s perfectly safe.”   “I know dat!” Applejack grumbled, she felt her mother was missing the point. “Bu it no fair! Animaws no have to use it, dey jus make dehr mess on de ground!” Applejack protested again, trying to wiggle out of her mother’s grasp. “Why we use someting we dun need to use?”   Big Mac laughed again at that argument. “Applejack thinks she’s an animal, should I put her in the pigpen?” Buttercup thought, and contemplated about it for a minute. (After how she had lost her own family due to defying their arbitrary rules, she tried to make sure that her own parenting style was based in good reasons and never “just because”.) At last, she gave the answer “Because, Applejack, ponies don’t live like animals. Animals don’t plant or harvest like we do here at the Acres, or go to school like your brother. And they don’t live in towns or houses, which would get very dirty if ponies just made their messes wherever they felt like.”   “Cows live in duh barn.” Applejack pointed out.   “Yes, and it needs mucking out every day after they go to pasture. But they don’t sleep in beds or anything, or have carpets…” Buttercup tried to explain. Applejack didn’t seem very convinced of these benefits of civilization.   “Anyway,” Buttercup suggested. “It’s ok if you don’t want to use the outhouse at first. I didn’t when I was your age, I mostly stuck to my potty. You can even bring it with you when you go out.”   Her daughter still looked skeptical. “Still doesn’t seem fair... But I’ll twy it.”   And so Butterccup helped her daughter pick out her own chamberpot (painted with a nice orchard scene) and felt relieved that things had ended so quickly and easily.   Perhaps she should have known better…   A week later, Applejack had become a full-on “potty rebel”, much to the annoyance and frustration of her parents. It seemed that nothing they tried could get her to let go of her complaint about how it just wasn’t fair.   The young earth pony thought it was a completely valid point. None of the animals on the farm had to use potties or the outhouse. They were all living, breathing creatures just like Applejack. And in the chats she’d managed to have with some of the more talkative ones, they didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with the way they did their business.   As the days passed, the situation had only escalated. Applejack refused to wear diapers and had managed to leave her pot unused every time she tried taking it out. When her parents had confined her to her room so it would be in reach whenever she needed it, Applejack soiled the floor anyway in protest. Granny Smith had brought a hoof to the filly’s rump.   At last, a rapidly frustrated and exhausted growing group of adults put their heads together to come up with a master plan.   “You leave the youngin to me,” Granny Smith insisted of the still relatively young couple. “I’ll put an end to her little rebellion. I’ve got a plan that’ll guarantee she’ll start usin’ that potty. It worked for my folks when I was Applejack’s age, and it’ll work again. I guarantee it.”   Granny Smith trotted up to find a rather grumpy Applejack sitting on a stool in her bedroom, facing the wall while she sat in a plain, white diaper that had been secured with extra, filly-proof tape. “Applejack.” She greeted as she cleared her throat.   “Gwanny, you gonna make me use potty too?” Applejack questioned as she turned to face her grandmother. “Me not gonna use it. And me not weawin’ diapees eithew. Gonna do it wike animaws do it.”   “Listen, sugarcube,” Granny Smith sternly declared. “I ain’t here to force ya to do somethin’ ya clearly don’t wanna do.”   “Yay! Ya the best, Gwanny!” Applejack cheered in delight.   The elder earth pony immediately threw up a hoof. “Now simmer down, sally. Ya gotta let your elders finish speakin’,” Clearing her throat she proceeded to explain. “Since you’re insistent on doin’ your business like the animals do, I reckon you can sleep like they do. In the barn!”   “Ta bawn? Me gonna sweep in thewe?” Applejack questioned, sounding more confused than outright frightened.   Granny Smith just nodded her head. “Yes indeed, sugarcube. Got it all worked out with your folks. There’s a loft up in the barn, you can sleep amidst the hay. And you can sleep there, tonight. In fact, you can sleep in there all week if you want.”   “Me need to wear diapee?” Applejack asked, anticipating the likely catch.   Granny Smith shook her head. “Nope, sugarcube. You’re old enough to not need ‘em, and I don’t want ya gettin’ a rash. But as long as you ain’t gonna be potty trained, and as long as you’re not gonna wear a diaper, you’re gonna sleep in the barn. You can clean out your own mess afterwards too.”   Granny Smith’s plan was quickly put into action. Applejack had a little loft in the upper levels of the barn. A little bed was made for her out of bales of hay, and the floor strewn with absorbent straw.   Bright Macintosh and Buttercup gave her a blanket, and a kiss goodnight, then they left the barn and closed the door behind them. Trotting back into the farmhouse, a nervous Bright Macintosh asked his mom. “You think it’s gonna work?”   Granny Smith grinned. “Trust me, by tomorrow she’ll beggin’ to come back to the farmhouse and will have given up any notion of bein’ like the animals.”   But the next morning, when the three adults went to check on Applejack in the barn, they were most surprised by what they heard.   “Me wove it hewe! Me wanna sweep in bawn aww ta time!” Applejack declared as she dumped her soiled straw into a wheelbarrow below her loft. “No need fow diapees, no have to use potty. Just me and animaws.” Granny Smith was rendered speechless.   They kept at the plan for the rest of the week, hoping that maybe Applejack would change her mind. She didn’t, in fact with each passing day it seemed like she was growing more and more comfortable living in the barn. She even came down to play with the calves, which they enjoyed but their parents found a bit disturbing. Cattle weren’t great with new and strange things, and a little pony living with them definitely counted. They hadn’t actually complained yet, but a good farmer could tell when it was coming.   The grand solution, actually, came after the Apples had mostly settled into this wakward status quo and were focusing on something else, a new puppy gifted from another branch of the family to replace their recently deceased farm dog. Bright Mac was making a joke about how the dog would be easier to train than Applejack, and his wife went “That’s it!” and kissed him.   “Erm, not that I’m not always grateful for that kind of thing, but what’s it, darlin?” Bright Macintosh asked his wife.   “Applejack won’t accept trainin’ because it’s unfair that we don’t train animals, right? But we do, don’t we?” Buttercupy explained.    “What… so you’re sayin’ we should walk her like a dog?” Bright Macintosh questioned. “But other ponies are gonna look at her, they’re gonna think bad things ‘bout her, or us as parents.”.   Granny Smith shook her head. “They’re gonna think that way if they see her still in diapers and sleepin’ in the barn every night. I don’t like it any more than you do, but at this point I think it might just be the best solution we can hope for.”     As the flashback ended, a much older Granny Smith let out a hearty laugh as she concluded. “Well, that solution worked all right. Applejack was out of diapers within a week and never wore ‘em again. Then, when she went to school, she picked up proper toilet usage from the other foals. Of course, it took her a while still to learn. Hard to go against years of doin’ it doggy style.”   “Granny, did you really have to tell that story? Even Apple Bloom didn’t know about it until now!” Applejack groaned as she covered her face with her hat.   Meanwhile, Big Macintosh just looked down at Autumn Glory. “So you see, son? Potty trainin’ is somethin’ everypony in this household goes through. And it’s somethin’ everypony learned. Doesn’t it sound excitin’?”   Autumn Glory looked up, raising a hoof as if he were in a classroom. “So, I don’t have to use it if I don’t want to?”   Big Macintosh and Applejack both sighed as Granny Smith let out a groan. “Here we go again.”