//------------------------------// // This is Equestria // Story: Maud Pie Reacts to the Teen Titans Go! Movie // by Misty Shadow //------------------------------// Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, Rainbow Dash was in the bathroom reading the latest issue of a comic called Captain Equestria… “Once upon a time, in the now-horrible land of Equestria,” narrated Rainbow Dash as she read the comic out loud, “there lived a wonderful regal pony named Smith. Smith wasn’t like the other normal ponies she ruled over. She actually took notice of the fact that the magic of the land was being sucked dry by the intolerant, morally repugnant politicians, certainly not like herself, that her subjects had foolishly elected to power. Smith pleaded with her subjects to wake up to reality, even going so far as to have her most trusted subordinates, Jack and Bob, spread the truth, including powerful messages about how they needed to live their lives in every one of their works. But it was too late...for the evil walls they had put up in their minds had transformed them into...money-grubbing griffons! Reluctantly, Smith had Jack and Bob write hit pieces on every one of these irredeemable monsters, banishing their harmful thoughts forever, and a good wall was put up to prevent them from ever stepping foot in Ponyville again. Since then, the land has been safe from intolerance. The evil walls in the minds of the citizens have been destroyed, as they now realize that they don’t need money to be happy, just the knowledge that there are figures in power who are actually looking out for their best interests…” “BWA HA HA HA HA!” Rainbow Dash laughed maniacally at the terrible writing and blatant politicization as she tore the last page of the comic out and tossed the book aside. “Keep dreaming!” After she finished wiping her ass with her newly found toilet paper, she mulled to herself in thought as she washed her hooves, not noticing a mysterious yellow glow coming from the comic that now laid on the floor... “Man, those comics just keep getting worse and worse with every issue! No wonder Panel Peddler had to beg me to buy that shit...hmm?” Rainbow noticed as she was wiping her hooves with a towel that there were now small, yellowish nails growing out of them. “Woah…” Rainbow grimaced uncomfortably. “I knew I tore through that comic a little too easily, even if I only mean that in the traditional sense. I should talk to Twilight about this right away…” Rainbow flew to Twilight’s castle, where immediately upon opening the front door, she was greeted to the sound of “All Star by Smash Mouth Only Every Word is Sung by Maud Pie” playing on Pinkie Pie’s laptop. Following the music up to the meeting room, she opened the door to find all of her friends sitting around the table of the map. “Oh!” Pinkie exclaimed, quickly pausing the Youtube video and switching to another tab out of embarrassment. “Hi Rainbow! We were just having some fun while waiting for you to show up to our friendship meeting!” “I didn’t even know there was a friendship meeting…” Rainbow replied with a scowl. “Why didn’t any of you tell me?” “We...figured it wasn’t too important…” Twilight answered sheepishly, making Rainbow suspicious. “Like, really, I mean it! It’s not like the map called us, Pinkie just wanted to show us all an interesting video.” “Not just an interesting video…” Pinkie retorted as she opened a tab with a video titled “Maud Pie Reacts to Teen Titans Go! to the Movies” on her laptop. “An interesting video about the most interesting pony in Equestria, my sister, Maud!” The video began playing as a hologram displayed by the map, showing Maud watching a leaked DVD rip of the movie. Being shown only the key segments of the movie, she gave the screen an apathetic glare some of the time, and spent the rest of the time genuinely smiling and even chuckling. After the edited version of the movie was over, another Maud Pie held a microphone up to her. “So what did you think of that version of the movie that we edited together after we pirated it?” she asked. “It made me happy to save some money.” Maud answered. “So...are you happy about the fact that it saved you money, or are you happy about the fact that it entertained you?” the Maud interviewing her asked. “It’s content I can appreciate getting for free.” Maud replied. “Yeah, I’m also glad I didn’t have to spend any money…” the Maud interviewing her said before he noticed that small, yellowish nails were growing out of the hoof he was holding the microphone in… “Oh shit…” he swore, effectively getting the video demonetized. “FFFFFUUUUUU-” With that, the video was taken down for violating the site’s terms of service. “Wow, even the Fine Bros. aren’t invulnerable on Youtube these days.” Pinkie Pie remarked in surprise. “I wonder how all those porn videos are still up and monetized though…” “Heh,” chuckled Rainbow as she browsed the internet with her smartphone, “unless you count Childish Gambino and awful liberal shill late-night TV hosts, no one’s untouchable on Youtube these days. Want immunity on the internet in this day and age? Sell yourself out to the leftist mainstream media like a cuck.” *SCREECH* To her shock, Rainbow realized that she had somehow made a scratch on her phone screen with only her right hoof. Looking at her hoof, she gave a fearful glare at the fingers that were growing in size and sharpness, making her hoof appear more like an eagle’s claw… Rarity gasped before crying… “Rainbow! Where did you learn to talk like that?!” “Um…” Rainbow grunted in bemusement at Rarity’s apathy to her situation. “Doesn’t this concern you more?!” She asked that as she held out her right hoof for her friends to see. However, the only one who gave a notable reaction of interest was Pinkie Pie. “Ooooohhhhh…” Pinkie responded in enthusiastic awe. “It looks like your dream’s finally coming true, Dashie! You’re finally going to become a griffon!” “Uh, since when has that been my dream?” a puzzled Dash questioned. “Since Season 4, Episode 16!” Pinkie answered ebulliently. “And what’s up with the rest of you?!” Rainbow exclaimed as she turned from Pinkie back to her other friends at the table. “You’re taking the fact that your lifelong friend is undergoing a sudden mutation awfully well...is this some sort of prank? Are you unreformed renegade Changelings?” “Our apologies, Rainbow.” Twilight empathized. “The reason for us not flipping out over this is because this is exactly what we wanted to talk about with you. Did you see the Maud Pie clone growing nails just like yours in the video? We’ve been getting reports of an outbreak like that all over Ponyville, and we wanted to ask you if you knew anything about it.” Rainbow began to scowl ever harder as she started catching onto what was going on. “No, I don’t know anything about it.” she told Twilight sternly. “That’s why I came to talk to you…” “Oh, stop taking it so personally Rainbow…” Rarity snidely interjected. “It wouldn’t be the first time you betrayed us…” “Well this would be the first time you pretended to care!” Rainbow yelled angrily as she hit the table with her right hoof. “Only because it’s now convenient for your agenda to cut me out!” Rainbow’s friends were taken aback not just by her exclamation, but also by her right hoof fully transforming into the hand of a griffon. When Rainbow looked down and noticed, she pulled the hand away and shuddered while trying to hide it. “I...I have to step out for a minute…” she murmured fearfully, rushing out the door, slamming it behind her, and getting on the phone right away. “Boss…” she said to the one on the other line. “I have some bad news. My friends don’t trust me anymore. I thought things would be cool after they started caring about the fact that I betrayed them, but I was wrong. Either they’re only pretending to care or they’re caring for the wrong reasons! And I’m becoming a griffon!” “Didn’t you always want to become a griffon?” her boss asked, speaking with a nasally, youthful voice that sounded different from the one Rainbow knew. He also sounded like he was having a hard time sitting comfortably on a chair, but Rainbow chose to ignore it. “Back when it was cool!” Rainbow answered. “Now that the SJWs have perverted the idea with their lame propaganda, it sucks!” *PUFF* Rainbow looked down at herself to see red feathers now growing on her chest. “Well, sorry you had your feathers rustled then!” the boss joked to Rainbow’s bemusement. “Look, do you know of any way I can win back their approval?” Rainbow asked. “Or do you know some kind of cure to my transformation? Or at the very least, do you have some kind of theory about what’s causing me to transform?” “Call it a wild conspiracy if you wish, but I believe you’ve been betrayed by someone you thought was a close friend.” the boss replied. “I don’t know about any cures and I really don’t know about winning back anybody’s approval...in fact, I’d recommend distancing yourself from anyone engaging in suspicious behavior. Take it from me especially…” “Boss...you don’t mean…” Rainbow suggested as something dawned on her. “THERE HE IS!” Rainbow heard this exclamation in the background precede the sound of a gun being cocked and fired…she then gave the phone a mortified look before hearing This Is America by Childish Gambino play. Hanging up, she put the phone back in her pocket and stared at the wall, wondering to herself in thought…