“I’M A CHANGELING, NOT A MACHINE!” I scream as Eight gets ready for another round of unspeakable things unbelievable to be possible, and likely illegal in most places.
“That was just a warmup, you big larva,” Eight advances on me as I squirm spreadeagle on the floor and fight against the goo bonds around all my legs, “Now grow a second one, and let’s see if we can shove a ribbed, dragon peg into a round hole.”
So, it’s been six days since we destroyed Dusty, and everything has been peaceful-
Wait, no time. Eight’s about to test the soundproofing of this room in the most fun way possible.
Busy, come back later!
***
Five examines the laser rifle Six gave her, points it at him, and pulls the trigger. The drone jumps away, but the rifle doesn’t fire.
“It overheats after three shots,” she says, pouting slightly at Six’s reaction, “You didn’t think I would really shoot you, did you?”
“Umm, well… my only experience in this is how Eight and One treat the boss, so...” Six scratches his head nervously.
Five ponders this for a moment, then nods.
“True,” she advances on Six, leaning down to his nose, “So, how about we do so imitating of our own, my little drone?”
“Uh whuh wha who what?” Six’s jaw drops.
“Some hot, sweaty, steamy exercise,” she whispers hotly into his ear, “Just the two of us, and one locked room.”
“Umm, well, maybe… start slow?” Six can’t believe what’s going on. He must be sleeping. This must be a dream.
Five locks the entrance to the empty shooting range.
“Of course we can start slow,” Five grins, showing as many teeth as she can, “It’s my job to serve the hive, which means to make it better, and you’ve been avoiding morning exercises, Six. That won’t do,” shaking her head, she circles around Six and slaps his butt.
“I’m still not really sure if this is a prelude to a clop setup, or-”
“DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY!” Five screams.
NO, IT’S A NIGHTMARE!
***
Seven is sitting in an armchair, enjoying the peace and quiet of the library. Casually, he summons a floating green skull which lazily patrols the library, searching for possible intruders.
Spells… infiltration… how useless has it all been? All the knowledge, the power given to him, and it meant next to nothing.
With a sigh, he gets up and starts walking around in search of a more specific kind of magic - charms, seduction, minor mind control. The advanced versions of stuff Two borrowed what now seems like eternity ago. Biting mares in order to gain horribly tainted lust and an amount of love equal to a casual hug between acquaintances isn’t the way to go. With magic, he might get a little more, and without the unhealthy taint of venom.
It would probably be better for him to control and manipulate events and ponies rather than to try to explode them once things go wrong. Or maybe he could simply do what the boss wanted him to do all along, just go out and keep trying until it works. After all, he can switch disguises as much as he wants, and when he’s more sure of himself, try as a changeling.
“Here goes nothing...” he sighs and turns away from the bookshelves. He still levitates few books on the subject of hypnosis and love. tt never hurts to have a little crutch in the beginning.
The library door opens, letting in none other than One.
“Oh, if you’re looking for Two or Five, neither are here at the moment,” he says.
One looks at Seven’s charred ‘spellcasting corner’, namely at the summoning circle burned into the carpet.
“No, no, I was looking for you, actually,” One gives him a smile, “We have some unfinished business.”
She transforms into her succubus form, and spreads her leathery wings.
“Um, what?” Seven takes a step back, levitating the held books in front of himself.
“Well,” One advances at him, “You summoned me fair and square, and I really didn’t have time to deal with it at the moment. Now, everything is calm and peaceful, so it’s up to me to fulfill my part of the summoning contract. You wanted lust, and you wanted love. I can assure you, I can give you the former in abundance.”
As One licks her lips, Seven drops the books.
***
“SHINY!” Cryo’s voice echoes through the almost empty castle plaza of Brauheim.
“So… this doesn’t jog your memory either?” Two looks at the beautifully lit dwarven castle across the bridge in the distance.
“LIKE PONY PRINCESS CITY, ONLY WITH A BEARD!” the huge queen smiles.
“Makes me wonder what you saw that the beard sticks so much in what little memory is left,” Two chuckles.
“IT WAS SWIRLY, WITH STARS! IT WANTED WEIRD SCARY ROCKS.”
“I… don’t even know where to begin with that,” Two rubs her head against Cryo’s foreleg, “You know… since you’re all blue, your goo looks like ice, and your name is fucking Cryo, do you like cold?”
“WE DO NOT REQUIRE A BROODMATE AT THE MOMENT!”
“I didn’t mean the fucking part literally.”
“WHERE DO BOOKS COME INTO THIS? ARE WE IN A BOOK? IS IT A GOOD BOOK, ONE WORTHY OF A QUEEN?”
“Just come along, I’ve got an idea,” Two nods, “How about we take a trip to the surface? Three’s been running around the whole underground since we vaporized that Vigil guy, and has found few unguarded access paths. That drone sure loves his holes.”
“CUPHOLDERS!” Cryo shows off two circular holes in her forelegs which could maybe serve for double-pint mugs, or possibly small cooking pots, but certainly not cups.
“If even you start glowing and randomly hugging everyone, I’m jumping off of that bridge again,” mumbles Two, unable to stop the growing grin on her muzzle.
***
“Got everything that you need?” asks Gem, “I can ask the dwarves to give you some stuff for the road-”
“Don’t worry,” Bright Star finishes packing his final saddlebag, and gives his cave slash apartment one final look, “The blizzard is over, and we’ve got a long report to give to princess Celestia. Namely, Ten here does.”
The changeling paladin in question already loaded up with everything for the trip back to Canterlot sighs.
“That’s one part of the job I could go without - the paperwork. Are you sure you don’t want to go back with us?” he asks, giving Gem a pleading look.
“Don’t give me puppy eyes. I survived Three’s, so you don’t stand a chance,” Gem boops Ten’s nose, “I’ll be staying here with the boss for some time. Besides, minotaurs and especially dwarves might have some interesting know-how regarding chemistry, so this is a great opportunity for me. It’s your job to tell the princesses about our little hive. They might want a diplomatic meeting after all.”
“Exactly,” Bright Star pats Ten’s back, “And if you’re lucky, you might earn your first paladin request for this mission.”
“What? As a pally on probation?” Ten blinks.
“Of course, and you know what that means.”
“Another underbelly trip to Manehattan?” Ten asks immediately, then covers his mouth, red as a tomato.
“If you so desire,” Bright Star smirks, “The princess fulfills anything within reason, so no ruling Equestria or turning into an alicorn, but an unrestrained, let’s say, night with the princess is nothing special. Many paladins use their requests for this as a reward for their service.”
“And you?” Gem winks at the unicorn.
“I… maybe have given it a shot once when I was younger, yes,” he smiles, “After my first wife died of old age, I wanted to try something special, because I believed that with my usual requests for extended lifespan I would never find real love again, and I looked for solace in the princess’ bed.”
“Aaaaaand…?” Ten makes a circle with his hoof.
“You surely don’t want me to spoil that for you, do you?” Bright Star teases him, “And certainly don’t take me using my paladin request like that only once as a sign of disappointment. It was an experience I haven’t forgotten to this day.”
“Wooo, let’s go back to Canterlot!” Ten shoots out of the apartment, much to Gem’s laughter, “I freely admit, I’m gonna miss minotaur booty, though.”
***
“This tunnel is weird,” comments Three after many hours of casual trekking down a straight tunnel, silence only broken by his and Eleven’s hoofsteps. So many hoofsteps.
“Long,” the nearest Eleven agrees.
After finally dealing with the deadliest threats to Brauheim, Three used the fact that the dwarves forced all common animals and critters away to explore as much of the empty underground as he could, and found this weird tunnel. At first, there was too much to do - explain to the dwarves what happened, talk to everyone back in the emerald mine, make sure Stompy was okay back in the lab, but as things calmed down, he got bored and his drone instincts took over.
With everyone busy, he took Eleven who had nothing to do either, and went to explore this strange, straight tunnel, longer than any other he’s seen before.
Finally, after almost a day’s trip, the tunnel slopes upwards, and rather abruptly ends in a spiral staircase leading up.
“Up is good, right?” asks Three, “Gem said ponies didn’t hate changelings anymore.”
Eleven shrugs, or Elevens shrug. Both are right. Stupid language.
After three hundred stairs, Three loses count, the numbers just going *bloing!* in his head and getting all muddled up. Curiosity, though, wins over disappointment, and eventually all twelve changelings- changeling bodies end up in a short corridor ending in a smooth wall made of blue crystal. Three can’t see through it, so he does the best test he can - the poke.
The wall doesn’t react.
“Button,” one Eleven with his head right above the floor pokes a spot on the left wall which clicks. The wall fades, and Three immediately peeks into a large hall, much larger than even the dwarven ones where Stompy could fit, all made of the same blue crystal as the strange door.
“Woooow!” his amazed voice echoes through the hall and many other branching off of this one. Carefully, he transforms his hooves into something softer, and after Eleven mimics him for all his bodies, the changelings start sneaking over the smooth floor, their hoofsteps making only a scratching noise of a rushing metal centipede. Any infiltrator worth their salt would facehoof, but they would never be this adorable, so screw them.
Suddenly, after rounding a corner, Three freezes.
There’s a pony stallion wearing armor and a helmet, dozing off while propped on his spear. The thing is… he’s all SPARKLY, like made of pony stuff but glass!
Beaming, Three sneaks towards him, then pokes his leg. The Crystal Guard mumbles in his sleep, but that’s it. Three turns around, and sees nothing. He blinks, furrowing his brows. No, he CAN see something. Eleven somethings which are now made of almost see-through glass cut like the crystal pony guard.
“...woooow, nice disguise...” Three whispers, and after some focusing, he frowns, “...I can’t do that...” he can’t get depressed now, he’s in charge of exploring this weird sparkly cave with a lot of doors, “...okay, if someone isn’t all friendly, you surprise hug them. No biting!”
Eleven is somewhat confused by how strangely his bodies are reflecting the dim light of the place, but nods anyway.
As the two changelings press on through the tall hallways, and pass by many more sleeping guards, runes on Three’s body start glowing brighter and brighter until even he realizes what has been instinctively leading his way ever since he entered this strange place.
There’s love, an unbelievable amount of love somewhere not too far away. Maybe just behind the huge door with two wings at the end of this long hallway which is bigger than any other in this crystal cave.
Thankfully, the door isn’t guarded, and slides open easily even to Three’s push. As he peeks through the crack, his jaw drops.
They ARE on the surface! The door opens into a big plaza with crystal floor, crystal houses all around, and a gargantuan spire in the center of it with some space underneath from where Three can feel love radiating so strongly that all changelings everywhere could stay fed by just being around.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
Unfortunately, there are two Crystal Guards by the other side of the gate Three has just opened, and these aren’t asleep.
“Opening this big door,” says Three, opting for honesty, “This place is all sparkly and really pretty. You ponies too. Do you polish yourself every morning?”
“...sometimes evening too...” mutters the other guard.
The first guard chokes for a moment before asking in a strained voice:
“Oh, you’re a changeling. Got lost in the Crystal Castle?”
“Mhm,” Three nods, “Boss is asleep, so we went exploring. The place is a little confusing.”
The guards furrow their brows as Eleven rushes out, barely visible in the gloom.
“What are those? Floating teeth?” both guards ready their spears.
“No no no, that’s Eleven,” Three jumps between Elevens fanning out and the closer guard, “Eleven, be nice and stop hiding,” Three pouts, “See? You scared him.”
Elevens return to normal changeling forms, and the more talkative guard can’t resist Three’s hurt look for more than few seconds.
“I’m sorry, you can go,” both guards returns to his post by the door.
“Thank you!” Three and Eleven beeline towards the love source in the distance.
“You know the castle is off limits at night, right?” asks the other guard.
“Do YOU want to report this and explain how a bunch of changelings got into the castle in the first place? Besides, they can’t have stolen anything. It’s not as if they had bags.”
“Meh, true,” the second guard shrugs, props his plot against the castle wall and his front against the spear, and yawns.
“Stupid early morning shifts,” the leading guard adds, doing the same as his eyes close on their own.
Crystal Empire security, everyone. Enjoy!
Three stops, watching a slowly turning heart made of greenish blue crystal hover between two spikes, one coming from the top and one from the bottom, under the tall spire in the center of the crystal plaza.
“What-”
“-this?” Eleven completely forgets to synchronize his mouths.
Three pokes the Crystal Heart.
“A… changeling candy machine?” he hazards a guess based on the love he’s absorbing, “Maybe they set it up here when bad mom made the big peace with ponies. Wait, is she still a bad mom when everything is okay now?” Three winces, recalling his short and rather unpleasant life in the old hive, “Umm… yep. Sorry, bad mom.”
Elevens form a small pyramid, and the top one pokes the Heart. A crack running through it, to be exact.
“Broken,” he says.
“Awww,” Three hugs the Crystal Heart, slowly spinning around with it. A blast of love flashes around, making the streets sparkle, and Three drop on the ground, “Oh my gosh, it really IS a changeling candy machine! You put in hugs, you get love. Boss needs to see this.”
Three spits on the floor, and then writes a “BRB<3” with the goo. When the sign hardens, he grabs the Heart, and gives it to Eleven whose bodies shuffle around to carry it.
“Let’s go. We’ll bring it right back after we show it to the boss.”
They pass through the big guarded door which they now know doesn’t lead to a big crystal cave, but a massive, beautifully hewn castle made of various types of crystal. The gate guards are now both asleep, thankfully, because Three has no clue how he would explain borrowing a candy machine, even though it’s clearly a public one.
They’re almost at the secret door when they’re stopped by a pink alicorn, one Three actually recognizes.
“Stop right there!” princess Cadance towers over the group of two changelings. She blinks, “Wait, is that the Crystal Heart? Who are you?” she leans to Elevens “WHAT are you?”
“We’re just borrowing the heart candy machine for a while to show it to the boss,” explains Three very helpfully.
“What ‘boss’?” the alicorn narrows her eyes, “HEY!” she calls out as very nervous Elevens dart away at full speed with the love machine.
“Umm… we’ll be back soon!” Three follows as fast as he can, not daring to look back. Not that he needs to, he can hear the heavy hoofsteps of the alicorn behind him, “LEG IIIIIIT!”
”BOOOOOSSSSSS, BOOOOSSSSS! WE MADE THE SPARKLY PONIES AND THE PINK PRINCESS MAD!”
***
I’m rushing through Three’s new tunnel, followed by Eight and One.
“The idiot found some secret passage into the Crystal Empire,” Eight shakes her head as we’re closing in on the fleeing changelings, “And what was that about a pink princess?”
“A trap, obviously,” One rolls her eyes, “The chances of them not being caught already are zero. Even though Cadance isn’t exactly the warrior type, she’s quite athletic.”
And finally, after nearly an hour of mad, love-fueled gallop bordering on blurry flight, we meet the twelve changelings gasping for breath.
“They stole the Crystal Heart,” One’s jaw drops when she spots Eleven’s cargo, “Nope, didn’t see that one coming.”
We let Three and Eleven pass, and spread out as little as we can in the rather narrow tunnel to face the incoming pink alicorn.
One suddenly facehoofs.
“Really? Were you trolling Shining Armor again?”
What?
“Well, well, well, the prodigal sons, daughter, and my best of the best return,” Cadance starts laughing. It’s a heavy, throaty laughter completely unfitting the princess, and then…
...green fire envelopes her, burning away the smaller form, and leaving behind a much taller, black equine with teal mane, and a loooot of sharp teeth.
“Ohhhhh… shit,” chill runs down my spine, “It’s mom.”
“Hey, boss!” Three starts jumping up and down, “It’s bad mom! Should I go get the friendship gun?”
Eight cracks her neck, narrowing her eyes. Heavy, chitinous blades grow on the back of her forelegs.
“I’m going to enjoy this...” she growls, “Mother.”
“Alright, alright, everyone calm down,” One walks between us and Chrysalis, “Especially you, Eight. You got to kill her once already, don’t be greedy. Let’s not do anything we’d all regret.”
I honestly have no idea what to say, and the same goes for Eight who is ready to fight at a moment’s notice against both One and Chrysalis.
“Kill me already?” Chrysalis tilts her head, “Ahhh, you mean the hive memory of myself,” she says in a laid back tone, “I suppose I should thank you for that. Or, to be accurate, ponies, changelings, everyone really should thank you for that.”
“Why are you here and what happens now?” asks Eight in a low, dangerous tone.
Chrysalis raises her hoof.
“I was coming back from my… diplomatic visit with emperor Shining Armor when I felt changelings I didn’t know sneaking around, which was rather surprising. What was much more interesting, though, was that when I found them they have just stolen the Crystal Heart under the noses of sleeping Crystal Guards. Seriously, the security of the place makes it obvious why they’ve been taken over by everyone who wanted a turn.”
“Three?” I ask carefully, “Why did you steal whatever this Crystal Heart is? And why does it radiate so much love?”
“The Crystal Heart is an ancient artefact capable of amplifying ambient love and spreading it all over Equestria and possibly even further,” says Chrysalis, “Probably the most important thing in the Crystal Empire.”
I raise an eyebrow at Three.
“Well… I mean… I hugged it, and it made a lot of love. I thought… it was a food machine...” Three ends in a whisper, withering under fifteen sets of eyes, “I thought boss would want to check it out,” he gives everyone the combined power of Three’s puppy eyes and ‘the legendary wibble’, “I wasn’t going to keep it, I swear!”
“Drone number...” Chrysalis stats talking, and stops, “Huh, I completely forgot. There was a three somewhere in it, wasn’t there? Nevermind,” she shakes her head, “You are coming with me and returning the Crystal Heart where it should be. You too, ‘boss’.”
“Yes, mom.”
“Yes, bad mom.”
“Good,” Chrysalis turns around, “Now you can tell me how you got here in the first place. I know a good deal of your story from One, but no one knew you would be up here. We’ve got enough time, now that we’re not running like crazy,” without looking back, she adds, “And stop scowling at my ass, daughter. You have a different master now, and I can feel from you that you are more than happy with him. I might decide to keep your little hive under some secret observation eventually, but you are free to live your life as you deem fit. I’m happy for you. For all of you, as hard as you might find it to believe. I’ve always wanted the best for my changelings, although it does hurt a little that you found more true happiness away from me than any other changeling has still under my rule.”
“So, what’s the diplomatic visit about?” asks One as we casually stroll through the tunnel back to the Crystal Empire. It’s going to be few hours at this pace, but we have a lot to talk about.
“I’m willing to do things with Shiny that Cadance isn’t too comfortable with yet. He doesn’t know, and thinks it’s all Cadance,” Chrysalis shrugs, “It helps my changelings- I apologize, ANY changelings move around the Crystal Empire unbothered. Most of us aren’t really used to living among ponies, and building our own lives and identities takes time. When they get too hungry to disguise themselves or life isn’t going well, they can spend some time here around the Heart and recover.”
“We don’t need to make up identities and disguises to live as us,” says Eight.
“Now THAT is something I’d like to hear about,” Chrysalis chuckles, “Well, One, tell me all about it.”
“I-” One opens her mouth.
“Not you,” Chrysalis says softly, “Not anymore. You’re not part of my world, succubus. The real One of my- of this hive. As for you, my demonic ex-subject, I suggest you find yourself a name, because at the moment you have none.”
Eight- One- whatever you want to call her now, starts talking. About how she fled from Las Pegasus, how she found her place among the dwarves, and about everything.
***
Several days later, something invisible sneaks through the Canterlot castle prison, stopping in front of a cell on the bottom floor. There are no guards down here anymore, every cell is locked tight, and the security checkpoint on the floor above wouldn’t allow anyone to get in and out without the most rigorous examination.
However, the door to Star Trail’s cell opens, and queen Chrysalis walks inside, her every step carefully watched by the cell's resident - the old, scowling ex-paladin himself.
Star Trail doesn’t say a word, the pure hatred Chrysalis can feel from him says more than enough.
“I know how much pain you caused to my subjects,” she says calmly, “I didn’t understand until I saw the drone you killed with my own eyes, and then his remains in the old castle. The pain from all of them when they told me...”
“What you monsters did to me and to Equestria is infinitely worse,” he hisses back.
“War was war, paladin,” says Chrysalis, not losing her cool even for a second, ”But you murdered an innocent, one offering peace on top of that. As their queen, no matter what they might think, it’s my time to pass judgement for this abominable deed.”
“Rot in tartarus, cockroach!” Star Trail spits Chrysalis in the face, “You monsters killed my Puff. I saw empty villages covered in acid and goo, or caves where you were hiding the starving victims. Don’t you dare lecture me about killing innocents!”
“As I said, war was one thing. This is another,” Chrysalis draws herself to her full height, which leaves her horn touching the ceiling of the cell, “The painful memory which brought you to this point of merciless madness, THAT is what your world will be from now on, what you will relive every single second until you die.”
Chrysalis’ eyes flash green, and Star Trail starts crying. As the queen vanishes, the ex-paladin collapses in the corner of the cell and doesn’t stop screaming until his throat gives out. That, however, is only the beginning of his remaining years of penance, living through Puff's death over and over. Forever.