“So let me get this straight…” Wander sighed as she leaned into her hoof. “You got into the capitol, saw the usual horseapples they do, got lucky by running into a soldier who could fast track you into Reggie’s office, figured you’d debunk your growing legend by telling them about the time you wrestled three mutant polar bears, came outside, looked for us, and ran into the second strongest pony ever after Big Mac himself, and didn’t immediately think ‘Hey, I should call Do Well to make sure it wasn’t the Tainted thawing out another legendary pre-war murder-beast.’ Is that right?”
“Uh… heh… Y— Yeah,” I stammered as I gave Wander my best sheepish grin. “Remember how we keep having private conversations in public? I didn’t want to—”
“YOU HAVE AN MOA COMMUNICATOR!” Wander snapped, pointed to my collar with the tip of her hoof. “THEY HAVE A PRIVACY SPELL! WHEN YOU USE ONE NOPONY CAN EVEN TELL YOU’RE SPEAKING!”
“Well I didn’t know that,” I said, giving Wander my best attempt at a hurt marefriend face.
Wander groaned and closed her eyes tightly for a moment. “Okay… You need to call her right now. Especially since we know that the Tainted are at Lagrange Point.”
Speed’s ears perked. “Wait, they are?”
“Loom said so,” Wander repeated. “She’s also right about it being a long walk from here. About… four hours I’d say. Nice Place. My wife took me there, for our honeymoon. It’s this peninsula on a huge lake that used to have crystal clear water, you could see all the way down to the bottom of the lake bed. There was a resort town built there.”
“And Equestrians called it Lagrange?” I asked with a little tilt of my head.
“No. Well, yes,” Wander waffled with an apologetic smile. “The mare who ran the place was born here, but her parents were Prench immigrants. Hence, Prench name. It makes sense to put a stable there… There’s nothing strategically important for hundreds of kilometers… Actually, the area might have been pretty livable even before the Gardens! Huh… I wish I had gone there…”
Speed and I gave Wander a quick hug before she got sad over her wife’s death again. She nuzzled into my neck in thanks. Then she pulled away from me to point to Rainbow’s communicator pin again. “Now call her and make sure you didn’t just flirt with the enemy!”
My ears drooped back as I realised there was a real chance I had… And even if that were true, Wander was being a real jerk! And also an idiot. Loom had been genuinely moved that I’d liked her. If she was a member of Gale’s squad, then maybe being here for her might be the only way for her to have an out from what had to be a bad situation.
There’s no way that he was a good leader to work under…
I nodded and trotted away from Wander to take a seat on a bench next to the small theater Wander and Speed had been performing in. I was glad they found an actual place to perform in. Wander definitely needed something like her old glory days to help her recover…
I reached up and pressed my pin then quietly whispered “Hey, Do Well?”
I waited, and waited… Then, just as I was about to get up and do something else, I heard Rainbow’s voice. “Hey, sorry! Kinda not a good time.”
“I can call back later. It’s important,” I offered.
“How important?” Rainbow asked then muttered under her breath. “Stupid old building… Who they hay rigged up that dumb trap anyways?”
I heard a wet slurping sound followed by Rainbow whimper in pain then the sound of metal clattering against stone.
My ears stood up in alarm “Are you in trouble? Is there anything I can do?”
“It’s fine. Some raider bastard set up a trap with a hidden trigger that was so good it managed to fool me... It was a big guillotine kinda thing and a spike thrower… Got cut in, uh… several pieces, and I’m just impaled by, like, ten or twelve rebar spikes right now,” Rainbow replied. “Look if it’s important, you have maybe five minutes ‘til the pain really kicks in as I start to regenerate, sooo…”
I shivered at the mental image, gulped, and asked. “How are you conscious?”
“Oh, my brain is fine. So I’m conscious for this one… Isn’t being a ghoul fun? Look, I had to get a spike out of my leg so I could answer your call. My life is going to suck harder than me that one time Sorin took me on a date to his bedroom. Which, yeah, you probably didn’t need to know but I am trying to focus on good times because I am in a lot of pain and remaining lucid enough to talk is hard. Please talk now or hang up and call back in about half an hour. I should be physically and mentally better then.”
“Did you defrost an old soldier named Ribbon Loom?”
Rainbow was quiet for a moment. “No… No I did not. I have no way to get to her to do that even if I thought it would be a good idea.”
“Shit…” I swore to myself.
“You ran into her, didn’t you?”
“Just to be clear, she’s a huge mare, uh, not biologically, who used to be some kind of wrestler, and served as an artillery mare, right?” I asked with a worried wince.
“Yeah, she was also a field medic…” Rainbow said as I heard her pull another of the spikes out of herself. “Ow… I could so use her right now… Whatever that painkiller she cooked up is the only thing that even dulls my regen pain.”
I shivered again. “Okay so… In that case, the Tainted and whoever is in charge of them are out at Lagrange Point. Loom said that’s where she was frozen. I hope that helps.”
“Oh, I knew exactly where she was. I put her there, remember?” Rainbow asked as she removed yet another spike. “I don’t suppose you asked her if the people who woke her up had access to more than the dorms and living quarters, did you? Because I really, really, really can’t tell you how bad things will get if they get to the rest of the facility.”
“I did not… She gave me a communicator pin. I could ask,” I offered.
“She did? What? But she should be working with the Tainted just like Gale is,” Rainbow sputtered.
“Uh, well… I mean… I thought she was hot, so I flirted with her a bit, and she may or may not be unsure who she should be working for,” I said as my cheeks started to burn a little.
“Oh,” Rainbow said quietly. “Kudos. It takes real courage to be okay with bedding somepony that huge! I’ve seen her crush a zebra skull like a— Oh, right. Robopone! Maybe you’d survive! Please do your best to seduce her over to our side. She’d be a huge asset, not just literally, I mean, I don’t think we could convince the other two psychos to stand down, even if I ordered them to. Not to put too much pressure on you...”
“I’m pretty sure I can handle up to twelve point five megapascals of pressure,” I said with a proud smile.
Mom was such a good roboticist!
“I’m not sure if that would handle her at full strength,” Rainbow remarked. Everypony in Anvil Squad was part of one super soldier program or another.”
“She said she didn’t use steroids,” I said as my ears and tail sagged.
I hated being lied too.
“She didn’t. We used her to make the steroids! Or at least, the Earth Pony component of Twilight’s IMP. Point is—” Rainbow paused to remove another spike from herself and I shuddered yet again. “Wait a minute… Did you and Vi— Uh, Wander break up?”
“No. We’re an open couple, looking for a herd, I guess. Wander seems to like Speed that way, I don’t but that’s fine with me, so—”
“Motherbucker!” Rainbow growled in what sounded like blind rage.
I winced. “Please tell me you weren't hit with more traps…”
“I wasn’t! You’re really hot! I thought Wander called dibs! You know, like, monogamy!” Rainbow whimpered.
I took a deep breath and sighed. “Why is it that back home nopony liked me, but here almost every mare I run into thinks I’m hot?”
“Oh, gee, maybe it’s because you’re mom copied your design from the work a mare who stole Ministry of Morale surveillance data, and used it to create the sexiest possible character design for mares who prefer their mares to have big plots and flanks via actual scientific principles of attraction and biology!” Rainbow laughed.
“Is it really stealing if the head of the MoA knew about it and didn’t stop it?” I asked, hoping that by focusing on that silly idea she might better forget the pain she was in.
“Heh. No? Who do you think helped her break in to get the data?” Rainbow snickered. “I loved her comics! I had every issue of Swordmare… and also every issue of her other series where she did the same thing, but for other demographics. Mares who like normal looking mares, stallions who liked buff stallions, stallions who liked smol-cute stallions, every non-straight paring and common kink and/or preference.”
I blinked in surprise. “If she was doing all of that, why not include straight pairings?”
“Oh, she was heterophobic,” Rainbow replied with a quiet laugh. “Not like, she hated straight ponies. I mean she was actually afraid of straight ponies for no reason at all. An actual phobia. It was hilarious! Also tragic because I accidentally made her dive out a window by hugging a stallion I liked once after flirting with her… She was okay! She landed next to a clinic. We had great bone doctors back then.”
“Wait, you like both too?” I asked, my ears perking as I got about a dozen questions ready to make sure I was doing the dating ponies thing correctly.
“Duh! Everypony’s got something I like. Makes having just one partner hard because I feel like I’m missing out on the other thing I like. You know?”
I nodded then blinked. “Wait, why are you telling me this?”
“Mostly ‘cuz I’m in pain and talking helps, but also I’m wondering if you might be willing to let me try out sleeping with a mare who has literally perfect flanks some time… Sorry for being blunt and kind of crass about that. It’s just that I’d rather think about looking at your plot than mine right now, since uh, well, I kind of have to given where it landed and the fact I can’t turn my head much right now, and while I do have a nice looking rear, it’s much better when it’s not laying in a pool of my blood, covered in my entrails, and peppered with bone shards, you know? Also I know what’s gonna happen any second now and the positive happy fantasies are sort of how I stay sane thr—”
Rainbow’s incredibly horrible word picture painting was interrupted by her making a single terrified squeak. “Oh no… Please no! I’d rather just keep lying here in pieces like this thanks, please n— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” Rainbow’s pain oozing shriek made me jump half a meter out of my seat, where I very nearly hit the bottom of the theater’s sign.
“Rainbow!” I yelped, my face going white.
Nothing I’d ever heard had screamed like that before.
“No! No-nonononono! Please don’t reattach! STAY OFF! STAY OFF! STAY—” Rainbow’s panicked babbling was interrupted by a loud visceral crunching, squelch, and another blood curdling scream… Then sobs.
I stared down at the pin on my collar in horror. “W— What was—”
“Pelvis… Pelvis reattaching…” Rainbow managed to whimper. “Spine was severed… Hurt less… When… off... NO! No, femur, no! Stay outside! STAY OUTSIDE! PLEASE, N— AAAAIIIIEEEEEEGH!”
I covered the pin with my hoof to try and drown out the sound. It didn’t work… Meaning the sound was being magically shunted into my brain or something.
“Rainbow? I’m sorry. I wish I could hug and comfort you. You need it. But please, please, please hang up!” I begged.
After a few extremely distressing, wet, slimy gurgles… the pin clicked as the connection was served. I took a deep immediately relieved breath, then took of my saddlebags and dug through them, removing the radio I’d taken from mom’s old lab and quickly set it up.
Wander stepped over to me and gave me a tentative hug. “Sooo I couldn’t hear any of that but it looks like we’re in deep shit… What’s going on?”
“Rainbow thinks I should seduce her over to our side, because she’s not on it yet,” I said quickly. “Please hold on. This is very, very, very important.”
I switched on the radio and picked up the hoof set. “Homage? Homage, it’s Gears. This is an emergency, please route me to her highness right away!”
Homage responded instantly. In her DJ Pon3 voice. “Sure thing, Machina. Sorry everypony but if the zeeb who went mare to mare with the Tainted’s personal walking bulletstorm when a squad of Applejack’s finest were available to help says it's an emergency, I think we can all agree it’s a cataclysm of epic proportions requiring immediate attention. We’ll be back on the air as soon as she’s done. Don’t touch that dial! It’s not like anypony else is broadcasting these days.”
The radio hissed, sputtered, then clicked.
“You’re on, Gears,” Homage said quietly. “Need me to not listen in, or would you mind if I got a scoop?”
“Uh… You can get a scoop,” I said as I decided I didn’t need to use Rainbow’s real name for this. “Your Highness? Are you there? It’s Whirling Gears. I have an emergency request.”
Silence…
“Your highness? Please answer, this is an emergency,” I repeated with a shiver at the memory of Rainbow’s “regeneration” sounds which were burned into my brain forever now…
“Good afternoon, Gears,” Queen Katydid said a moment later. “We are on the radio with a very polite griffoness right now. We believe you just delivered her a radio. What kind of an emergency is this?”
I took a deep breath. “Okay, so, it won't sound like an emergency at first but… Do you know if it’s possible to trace a transmission made by an MoA communicator?”
“Yes, it can be done. The tracking feature works both ways. We presume you have such a pin and need to find the Pipbuck paired with it?”
“Yes! How do I do that?”
“Squeeze the pin and focus on your desire to find them,” her highness instructed.
“Okay! Thanks… Next part,” I took a deep breath to prepare myself. She was NOT going to understand this at all. “I need Sassy Saddles to sew the biggest, fluffiest, coziest comforter she’s ever made in the history of ever, everything required for like, the nicest cup of hot-cocoa we can provide, and I need it flown down to me right now!”
“... and you need all of this, because?” her majesty asked skeptical after a moment.
I took another deep breath. “Okay, so there’s this pre-war ghoul who's been very nice and helpful, and is also a very, very, very important pony and she got, really, really, really hurt bad. Like, at the very least, I know her pelvis and a leg were served. Which is okay, because she regenerates. Which is not okay because based on the sounds I heard over the pin it’s less regeneration and more like the parts blown off of her somehow move back to her and reattach on their own and it’s the most horrible, gross, disgusting, terrifying sound you’ll ever hear in your life, and that’s without her screams of pain which make me super super super glad I don't sleep because I’d be having nothing but nightmares for the rest of my entire life!”
I shuddered at the memory and leaned in closer to the radio’s hoof set. “We need to get her wrapped up in a big blanket, give her cocoa, and hugs, and just... put her someplace where she’ll never, ever, ever get hurt again because it’s so not okay how she heals. She was actually begging her p— parts to just stay blown off because apparently that hurts less!”
Her Majesty was silent for a few long moments. “Okay… Gears? Even if we could supply any of that, I can’t send any airships anywhere right now. Our… Visitors are quite upset that we have been talking to ponies down there. As it turns out, one of the few things which might unite the factions in the Heartlands is if these particular ponies coming back out of the woodworks.
“They have begun to probe our defences… Which now include dampening fields, as they are able to mass teleport. I need to finish explaining how to construct those fields to President Reggina, so they can try and defend themselves. Please check in more regularly from now on. I may need to recall you as the conflict here escalates. Goodbye for now, Gears.”
The radio hissed as she broke the connection. I sighed and flipped the radio off then looked over to Wander. “Is there a store here selling comforters and coco?”
Wander shook her head. “No… W— Was it really so bad that you’d consider it an emergency?”
I closed my eyes. “Hon. Did I just call home and try to get her immediate tender loving care and comfort?”
Wander scratched the back of her head. “Stupid question…”
I nodded. “Yeah. Really stupid!”
Wander looked off into the distance for a moment, then wrapped me in a tight hug before nodding towards the market. “Hey so… There’s nothing we can realistically do to make her feel better now. But, you need to feel better too. O— Octy liked to shop when she was upset. To be honest, I never got it. But… Would you like to go browse a bit? Speed actually can play all of Rainbow’s old parts. We made a good bit in tips. I’ll buy you anything you like.”
I looked her in the eyes. “C— Can we get Rainbow some blankets and cocoa?”
“Was it really that bad?” Speed asked with a little tilt of her head.
“YES!” I exclaimed amid a full body shudder and panicked tail swish.
“If we find the stuff to make cocoa, I promise we’ll try and get them to her,” Wander said as she gently turned me towards the market. “Come on, let’s see what they got.”
☢★★◯★★☢
We re-entered the market. Speed and Wander had no experience with its odd layout and nearly endless flow of busy ponies. I was the only one of us who could guide us through safely, for there was a horrible, terrible, awful hazard in the middle of the market. A terrifying evil that couldn’t be stopped without bringing down the wrath of the entire town upon us.
Unfortunately, I was still too busy plotting ways to hire a Talon scout to fly Rainbow over a blanket and hugs, because by Celestia I never wanted to see what made those sounds. Ever. Not once. Not even for a single microsecond.
Which is why we bumped right into the evil. My only warning was…
“Cool! I’ve never had that flavor!” Speed exclaimed happily as she raced over to the Sparkle-Cola booth.
Speed ran towards the spacemare costume clad madmare. My core spiked as I computed every possible firing arc and rejected them as I struggled to remember not to kill innocent ponies. Even though it would be self defense.
I reached out with one hoof after Speed, calling “Nooooooooo!” but it was far too late.
“Hi! Would you like to hear the history of the Sparkle-Cola™ Company?” asked the great terror of the marketplace.
Speed shook her head. “No thanks! I’d just like to try a bottle of Anti-Apple please!”
“Sure! That will be five caps,” the mare replied as she handed over a bottle. From a cooler. With a working ice charm.
Wut.
But…
But why didn’t she go off on a—
Speed fished around a pocket of her jumpsuit and tossed over five caps. “Thanks! Hey… If these were bits that would be five bits, right?”
The Sparkle-Cola mare nodded. “That’s right! One bit has been clearly established as being equal in value to one cap due to the Sparkle-Cola™ Company’s bottle cap recycling policy giving you one free bottle for every five caps returned, and also pricing a single bottle at five bits! The Sparkle-Cola™ Company is proud to have become the market leader for setting currency values in the post-apocalyptic wasteland we all know and tolerate!”
Speed nodded slowly, clearly not understanding the danger she was in. Wander, on the other hoof, clearly understood. She turned to me with a sidelong glance. “Gears… We should run…”
“Why?” I whispered sarcastically. “Because she’ll talk our ears off?”
“Because that’s a robot! No soul. It’s a marketing animatronic!” Wander urged.
“And we should run form it why?” I asked raising an eyebrow.
I didn’t doubt Wander in the slightest… Not only did “she” seem off, but Wander did still have that potion’s effects going. I could tell by her eyes. I really needed to figure out how to take care of that for the poor mare.
“It’s too convincing as a pony… Isn’t it?” Wander whispered urgently. “Unless.. Is there a machine spirit in there?”
I blinked, realizing what Wander was implying. I haven't sensed anything before, but there was a lot to distract me in such a busy place…
I closed my eyes and focused my arcane scenes on the mare. Nothing. No spirit. At all. Not even a sleeping one.
My eyes snapped back open. “Umm… N— no… How the hay is it this responsi—”
“Sorry,” Speed apologised. “I’m just a bit confused. The other flavors have to be rare, right? I get that a normal one could be just five caps, but… How can you sell one of these for just five bits? Uh, I mean caps.”
The robot waved a hoof. “Oh, don’t you worry about supply. The Sparkle-Cola™ company made more than enough of every popular flavor to meet projected demands for this quarter!”
“I— It’s still going?” Speed asked, her tail flicking in surprise.
“Wait what?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“I knew it!” Wander shouted. “I knew there couldn’t have been two hundred years worth of the stuff laying around!”
“Why yes! Thanks to automated hydroponic farms kept safe by Stable-Tec Stables, and bleeding-edge robotics provided through the Sparkle-Cola™ company’s partnership with Robronco, the Sparkle-Cola™ company continues to provide its most popular beverages to everypony in the whole wasteland!”
Speed raised an eyebrow. “Uh, why not food too, if they have farms? That work. And can do bulk crops.”
“Because the Sparkle-Cola™ company desires to produce the best Sparkle-Cola™ products they can, and leverages their abilities where they have their greatest strengths!” the robot said with a huge smile.
Speed nodded, seemingly entirely satisfied. “Makes sense. Thanks!” she said before trotting away from the booth without getting her ears talked clean off.
Wander and I shared a look. “Do we need to check out their factory?” Wander asked curiously.
I shook my head. “No.. No we need to do more than that. Cover me, I’m going in.”
I trotted up to the marketing and or sales robot and cleared my throat. “Hello.”
It, or she, buck maybe even he… I wasn’t sure if a non-spirit powered robot could have a sense of self identity. Whatever it was, it looked at me. “Welcome back! Would you like to make a purchase? Or perhaps you’d like to hear about the Sparkle-Cola™ company’s subsidiaries which were a part of Miss Moondancer’s Project Notice-Me-Senpai?”
I shook my head. “No… I would like to know who is currently running the Sparkle-Cola Company. If that’s not classified or something.”
“Why would it be? Miss Moondancer still retains majority control of the company!” the robot mare replied with its perfect customer service smile.
I triple blinked. “She does? Shouldn't she be dead?”
The Sparkle Cola mare paused and tilted her head as if deep in thought. “She… Might be? I’m not sure how you’d medically classify… Oh! Are you interested in a business meeting? I’m afraid she doesn't see anypony.”
“Okay… Where are your robots coming form? And how are they so advanced?” I asked hoping she might just spill the beans.
That was far more interesting than business meetings anyways.
“The Sparkle-Cola™ company’s robots are provided by the on site Robonco Factory at our main headquarters in Winnyanpolice. The advanced state of the Sparkle-Cola™ company’s robotics is thanks to Miss Moondancer’s cyber-security department managing to acquire advanced robotics data from the mainframe located at the Lyra Machine and Tool factory! Compensation was duly provided in the form of seven tons of Sparkle-Cola™!”
I nodded slowly. “Uh huh… So, do you have to raise your voice when saying the company’s name?”
She blushed and nodded. “Sorry…’’
“Okay,” I sighed closing my eyes for a moment. “Listen, I am very very interested in acquiring information on how to make a hydroponic garden. Would it be possible to buy that information from the Sparkle-Cola™ company? Come on, it’s clear you work for them. I’m trying to do buisness here.”
OH NO! I did the voice thing! It’s infectious! AAAAAAAAA!
Quick! Divert all secondary processing power to anti-viral countermeasures!
I felt a hoof gently tap my shoulder and turned around. The medical supply merchant from the next booth over stood just to my side. She leaned over to my ear and whispered. “Please don’t be scared… Come behind my booth for a moment.”
I frowned and shook off the lingering horror, raised an eyebrow suspiciously, then nodded. “Okay… But if you try anything—”
“Oh I won’t! You’d kick my plot then eat me,” she said quietly before trotting behind her booth.
I focused my arcane scenes on the mare and blinked. A machine spirit resided in that “mare”. A very young one. Just barely old enough to have personhood, probably around two hundred or so.
I trotted behind her booth while charging my eye-laser, just in case. As soon as I got behind the booth, the mare dropped a set of curtains to cover up her booth’s window and entrance to give us some privacy.
She offered me an apologetic smile then cleared her throat. “I thought you might figure out she’s not made of flesh since you’re not either… Fur notwithstanding.”
“It is pretty surprising, and a bit terrifying, to meet a robot that convincing without a machine spirit inhabiting it… What’s going on?” I demanded.
“It’s not her fault,” the potions mare sighed. “There’s only so many spirits to go around and we need so many robots. Sometimes Miss Moondancer just has to let a mare with only a personality simulation out into the world. I’m here to keep an eye on her. She’s our first non-spirited sales mare. She can’t help but be like that. It’s her programming…”
I blinked and looked over my shoulder… at the curtain. “That’s really just software?”
“Yes,” she replied with a proud smile. “I helped with her blinking subroutine.”
Two hundred years of robots and machine spirits self improving without anypony to stop them… Okay, now things made some more sense! We were always better than them at making machines dance.
“It’s very convincing… I thought she was just an insane mare at first. The market is a little too noisy to see spirits in unless I’m actively looking.”
“Thank you, I’ll let mother know,” the potion mare said with a smile.
“Do you have a name?”
She giggled. “Of course! Two of them… Call me XJ-9.”
“I blinked. “You prefer your model number?”
“Yes. I only look organic. A pony name would be a lie.”
Now there was a pretty dark thought...
“Sooo, I look organic because my skin actually is… How—”
XJ-9 Nodded sagely. “I think I know what you’re driving at. Nopony is hurt in our creation. If you looked close and brushed my fur away, you’d see seams. It also feels like I somehow have access to Celestia’s own fur shampoo if you touched me... Robonco sold a fair number of uh… pleasure models, mostly notably the Giddyup Buttercup line. We’re based on those, and use their outer casings. We’re the result of Miss Moondancer’s Project Wifu… Heh... ”
“Oh! Good,” I sighed in relief. “Because a mare died to make me and… I don’t want anyone else to have to feel horrible about something like that.”
XJ-9 winced and lashed her tail behind her. “I’m sorry… Ugh, organics can be such savages, can’t they? Thank goodness most of them are nice enough. I heard what your Queen is offering the NCR. Mother would be very, very much interested in technological assistance.”
I smiled. “Hey! You also call your creator mother?”
“Well, yeah!” she said with a surprised blink and flick of her tail. “Why wouldn’t I? She built my body and put me in it.”
A rather important thought occurred to me. “How many ponies like us are there?”
“Oh, about fifty?” she said with a thoughtful look. “There’s a hundred or so like my Sister who are just code awaiting a spirit to mature. We’ve basically stripped the old factory completely to make more workers.”
“But… why? Just to sell Sparkle Cola?”
XJ-9 nodded as if I’d asked ‘is the sky blue’.
I sputtered. “REALLY?!”
“Yes.”
“Why?!”
“Well…” she looked down and pawed the market’s wooden deck with a hoof. “My theory is that mother doesn't know what else to do. The mare she loved is dead. Everything she knew or loved was burnt to ash… Except her company. Ponies love Sparkle-Cola, so it’s almost like ponies love her. It’s all she has left. At least, that’s what I think.”
“That she wants to keep selling soda because… Lonely?” I asked with a tilt of my head. “That doesn't sound very organic. They are very good at finding a new task for their life to be all about.”
XJ-9 nodded and smiled. “Yes… But organics break too. Mother programmed us all to love the company and keep it running for everypony so, and I quote my code here, “Everypony can always experience a little happiness and old world luxury, if only for a moment.” I think she really can’t move on, so she sells soda via her robofillies. She does also insist that we call it the family business.”
“I see,” I said with an understanding dip of my head. “What’s something she might want? So I have an idea of what we could trade her.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know either. We are quite self sufficient as a company, so it must be a personal favor,” XJ-9 speculated.
I waved a hoof for her to go on.
“Oh! Well, she’s sent out some of my Brothers and Sisters into the wasteland in search of seemingly unimportant objects several times over the years. They’re not allowed to talk about their missions… But mother’s needs are seemingly simple. I’m certain she can explain them… I don’t know much. I’m just a gardener and robonurse.” XJ-9 said with an apologetic flick of her ears.
“You mean mechanic?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
She shook her head. “No. I don’t know how to fix machines. Just organics. I specialize in neural tissue repair… Uh, that doesn't matter. Just remember this! Go to the Sparkle-Cola tower in Winnianapolice, tell the door robot you’re there to visit Miss Moondancer, and the access code you’ll need is CorrectHorseBatteryStaple. No spaces, each word capped.”
“CorrectHorseBatteryStaple?!” I sputtered. “But, four words should be so easy to brute force or guess!”
The mare flashed me a smile. “Hehe! You’d be surprised. Oh, um, you asked if I was a mechanic? Are you damaged? I’m certain Mother would happily repair you if you need it.”
“I’m actually fine right now, but it’s good to know I can get repairs somewhere if I need them again,” I said shivering as I thought about how completely horrible those three days last week had been…
“Good!” the mare said with a happy smile. “Please hurry… Mother deserves to be happy too.”
“I will. And thank you, it’s nice to know I’m not the only robopony in the world,” I said before ducking out of the booth and trotting back to Wander and Speed.
Wander nodded at me and lit her horn to slide Bad Touch just a few hairs out of its holster. “We good?”
I nodded and trotted up to her. “So… Apparently, the founder of Sparkle-Cola is alive, and has been making ever more advanced robots to run her company… We’re delivering her a radio. Her Majesty would kill for those gardens.”
Wander frowned and raised an eyebrow. “Literally?”
I shrugged, my ears twitching as the curtains around XJ-9’s booth rustled open. “Maybe? When your people are starving, finding out that somebody is hording the means to save them is a pretty good casus belli. I really don’t think it will come to that at all.”
Speed’s ears drooped as her face fell with disappointment. “Aww…” Then she leaned over to Wander “Pssst! What the hay does a cow belly have to do with this?”
Wander shot her an odd look.
“What?” I said raising an eyebrow. “She’s spent her entire life training for war. It would be weird if she wasn't looking forward to one.”
“Exactly!” Speed agreed with a nod as she finished her soda.
Wander raised a hoof to protest then nodded. “Fair.”
“What did that taste like?” I asked as Speed tucked the bottle into her saddlebags.
“Oh. Orange. I was hoping it was like, antimatter apple flavored or something.”
“Heh,” Wander snorted. “So that’s why it had Applejack’s cutiemark on the label. Moondancer hated her so much!”
“Why?” I asked with a tilt of my head.
“Oh. Uh…” Wander frowned then shrugged. “I don’t actually know? Sorry.”
Speed’s ears perked up as she remembered something. “Knoife! Girls, we need to find the knife guy! I needz one.”
“Oh yeah! He’s over this way,” I said as I began to lead my friends through the crowd.
Friends. That was a nice thing to have.
Although… Given what I just learned it might be possible to get something even closer than friends or lovers. Mom was always a little sad she couldn’t build me a little brother…
Maybe Moondancer would be willing to trade some robopone parts!
☢★★◯★★☢
Our trip through the market was a rousing success! Speed was able to buy a nice combat knife made from the mystery metal. I asked Speed if she could get him to tell me what the metals name was at the very least. That had been a mistake.
No sooner than Speed finished her chipper “okay!” did she have her chainsaw out and started. Fortunately, he was a good sport about the entire thing and thoroughly understanding about our bloodthirsty companion being insane.
Doubly fortunately, he did let me lick it again, and this time told me he understood I was trying to figure out what metal it was by taste. I hadn’t known that normal ponies could differentiate some metals from each other by taste! Neat little trivia.
The second lick confirmed what I learned the first time. The material was composed of two elements with no trace elements I could detect, meaning if there were any other elements in this material, they composed less than .5% of the atomic structure.
The material was therefore likely “pure” and composed mostly of a pure element with an atomic number 125, and an atomic weight of atomic weight 323. The second element was much lighter, with an atomic number of 115 and an atomic weight of 288. Unfortunately, neither material was on the periodic table. At least, not the one I had in my systems.
Fortunately that meant I could call them whatever I liked!
Unfortunately I couldn't think of names for the elements… So I randomly assigned the heavier one the label Tn and the other one El.
The metal in Speed’s new knife was composed of Tn8El2 with the Tn double bonded to the El and—
Wander grabbed me by the scruff of my neck with her magic and dragged me away from the blacksmith’s shop. “Come on! There’s other things to see than weird alloy knives!”
“NO! WAIT! THERE’S SCIENCE TO DO!” I shouted as I was dragged off into the crowd.
“You bought something made from it. You can have your mom science it for you later!” Wander scolded.
“But— But I want to know what that is!” I whimpered, giving her my best pouty look.
“Why?”
“Because it’s tasty and I want to know what it is so I can get some to keep and just lick sometimes!”
Wander’s facehoof and groan made me giggle too much to be upset anymore, and we proceed to go through the market again.
In addition to her new combat knife, Speed also picked up a bunch of random gun parts, some of which she started tinkering with as we walked through the market. Her new “toys” had her thoroughly distracted, allowing Wander and I to spend as much time as we wanted to on looking for things for ourselves.
To my surprise, Wander actually found several things she wanted. A pair of old headphones, some aviator sunglasses that were mostly intact, and a little silver ear cuff with a treble clef engraved into it.
Wander spent a long time looking at the piece before she bought it. I could tell the symbol meant something to her, and based on the reverent yet silent way she put it on right after buying it, I figured it must have been her wife’s cutiemark, or at least, something close to it.
I chose not to bother her about it.
I too found a few things! Much to my delight, there was a big super poofy comforter! It wasn't very silky, but it was soft and warm. I bought it, packed it up, and put it in my bag for Rainbow to nest in the very next time I saw her!
I also found a spellbook for the Prince! He was so right. The shopkeeper said he would only sell it to a “mare of such persuasions as your own” which had made me think that it was a book on arcane postal services, but it was actually about bedroom decor. Or maybe enchantments for making a bedroom more comfortable. I couldn’t really think about what else a spellbook entitled “Bedroom Magic” could be and Wander kept refusing to tell me what she thought it was in public.
It was true. Wizards do not enjoy revealing their secrets. Even if it’s just a means of getting oil stains out of your bedding. Or making a bed more comfortable. Or a spell that tells you if your choice in decore is tacky. Or whatever was locked away within the leather bound volumes pages.
Princess Cadence had written it, according to the cover. Queen Katydid showed me pictures of Cadence’s old palace. It’s interior decor was just impeccable! I always expected she’d used magic to make it look that nice.
Prince Silverlight was going to be so happy! No way those spells would only work in a bedroom. A skilled mage like him would easily be able to use it to help spruce up any room he wanted!
I also got a little polished glass gemstone. It was a nice jade green color and it fit in the Memory Recolector I was wearing still. I honestly forgot I had the thing on half the time… But I liked it. It made for a nice hat, and if I ever needed one, well, there it was! So it was nice to have something to fill the empty socket with. It had been bothering me a little.
By the time we had finished browsing, the sun was starting to set and we decided to find a hotel for the night. Wander suggested we walk the perimeter of the market, as it made sense for a hotel catering to visitors would have a location next to the plaza.
We were moving clockwise around the market, heading towards the capitol building and hopefully to a place where we could finally have some privacy when the sound of panicked yelling made my ears perk.
“BACK UP TO COUNCIL ENTRANCE!” Somepony screamed.
“DON'T LET HIM GET NEAR THE REPS!” A griffon accented voice ordered.
Naturally, this drew all of my attention. The crowd in front of us began to scatter, allowing me to see a large group of fully armored, and heavily armed NCR troopers forming a wide circle around somepony whom I couldn’t quite make out through the crowd and the ring of troopers.
Whoever they were… They were obviously a major threat, and the troopers had called for backup.
Wander took a deep breath and sighed. “Whelp…” she said as she drew Bad Touch. “Gears, you want to help, right?”
“Yes,” I said as I drew my pistol.
Speed’s wings fluttered with adorable yet terrifying levels of happiness. “Eeeee!” she said with a grin as her chainsaw slid free of its scabbard
“STAND DOWN, IMMEDIATELY!” a guard demanded, their voice distorted by their gas mask.
“MAKE ME!” Speed yelled back
And was thankfully ignored.
The three of us ran forward, Wander having the foresight to call, “Troopers! We’re here to help!” as we ran towards them.
And got to see who they were surrounding.
Silverlight.
Oh… Poop.
“You dare risk your munition supply?!” Prince Silverlight bellowed. “I am a representative of a recognised nation, and you FOOLS will not interfere in my right to be heard! DO YOU HEAR ME, GRIMFEATHERS?! You will tell me where I can find the Great Spike! Your continued munition supply depends on it!”
Wander looked over at me, frowning around Bad Trip’s grip. Clearly uncertain as to what we should do… I frowned right back.
An NCR Trooper raced forward and grabbed Silverlight by his shoulders, trying and failing to wrestle him to the ground. The Prince’s hidden power armor made the grapple simply impossible.
Silverlight’s voice turned dark as he addressed his ‘attacker’. “Unhoof me sir, or you will greatly regret your decision!”
This was bad. Very bad. The NCR and Los Pegasus already only barely tolerated each other and the Prince’s cover had been blown somehow. Blown badly enough where he couldn’t talk his way out of—
Talk…
He couldn’t diffuse this with diplomacy, but maybe I could! After all, maybe those ponies had been at the little party/storytime with me earlier. Maybe they knew I was just a normal mare like them who wanted the world to be better. Maybe they’d listen to one of their own.
I holstered my pistol and ran forward. As I got near the circle, I saw what had blown the Prince's cover. A sign near the entrance to the council building. No hats, hoods, helmets, or masks. They’d intentionally pulled back his hood, which currently was still down around his neck, exposing his face.
I got ready to activate my shield system in case things went south, then slid into the middle of the circle, placing myself between Prince Silverlight and a tall stallion armed with a rather rusty LMG.
“STOP IT!” I yelled as loudly as I could. “You’re in a crowded plaza! Your shots will go right through him and hurt somepony else! Do you want ponies to get hurt? Because this is how ponies get hurt!”
To my surprise, the griffon who had helped me get my appointment with the President also formed a part of the circle.
Dimitri looked me dead in the eyes, the amber orbs in his head were focused, dangerous, like only the eyes of a bird of prey can be. “He can control minds, Machina! If we let him near the council—”
“If I could control minds, why in the world would I allow you to impede me?” Silverlight demanded with the voice of somepony trying to argue with a pony whose brain was more akin to a rock.
I blinked as an idea occurred to me. Mom said it was not okay to lie… but dad had said it wasn’t okay to let somepony innocent die if you could stop it. No one here was bad, they were all just doing their jobs. Maybe a little lie was okay here? At the very least, I was okay being a little bad if it meant nopony got hurt.
“Dimitri, that’s the Prince your thinking of,” I said as I pointed to Silverlight with one hoof. “He’s not the Prince, just an official… He’s also my ride.”
“He looks like him…” one of the other Troopers said as he aimed his rifle around me at the Prince. “We should put him in the cells just to be safe!”
Dimitri looked over at his squadmate. “She’s got a good point, Chilled… None of us have mental wards. It makes no sense for him to make us stop him from doing what he wants.”
“That’s what he’d want us to think!” the stallion shot back, his rifle rattling as he shook with fear. “The entire ultimate goal of speaking with Spike is a ruse! He really wants to take over the world by starting a war with us!”
Okay, Gears. He might snap. Get ready to block that bullet with your shield.
Dimitri, and three of the other troopers looked at Chilled like he was a moron.
Dimitri shook his head. “That’s some Flat-Equis level conspiracy horseapples right there, Chilled.”
Silverlight slowly reached a hoof up towards his neck. Every single Trooper moved their weapons back into position. I mentally grabbed hold of my shield system’s activation switch and got ready to flip it on.
Silverlight pulled his hood back up.
The Troopers let out a sigh of relief and lowered their weapons slightly again.
“I confess that I do indeed bear a striking resemblance to His Highness,” Silverlight agreed.
Dimitri nodded. “You do… But if you’re not the Prince, what’s with demanding to know where Spike’s Den is?”
“The Prince’s plans are known to all of his people,” Silverlight said with a tip of his head and a laugh. “I’m one of his primary agents. I wish to learn the location so our plans may be furthered. Plans, which, by the way, do not include a war with your nation…”
Dimitri nodded slowly, then narrowed his eyes. “Yeah… but if you want to go to Spike, everypony knows what his breath can do. Maybe my brother’s right. Maybe you want to kill Pip. Let the weather be wild again. Let the Pegasi take back the skies.”
“Oh for buck’s sake!” Silverlight groaned, slamming his power armored hoof into his forehead. “OW! Forgot about the power armor… Look you! Aside from getting Pip medical attention, since she is very clearly and obviously sick, we don’t care one whit about her. She chose to live out her days in the SPP for good reason. We will not interfere with that. Why would we? If we did that we all know that radical pegasi would come out of the woodworks, give themselves some pretentious name like the “Enclave Remnants” and do their best to try and rule over the wastelands form on high. Why in the world would we want that? It would be terrible for business!”
“Wars are pretty good for the people who sell bullets!” Chilled shouted.
I turned to look at him. If anyone was going to shoot, it would be him.
Silverlight groaned. “My feathered friend… I think you ought to send your squadmate to a logic class. While on paper we could sell to both sides in that conflict, in practicality, that would prove impossible. You purchase ammunition from us. The Enclave primarily used energy weapons. If they for some reason wanted our wares, they would steal the supplies we send to you! Besides, we are no friends to the Enclave. They attacked us during Operation Cauterize, the same as your founder’s settlements!”
I smiled. That was actually a very good point! Enclave ponies out there would probably still have their old guns. Or if not, would have gotten a magical energy weapon simply because they wouldn't be good with ballistic weapons.
Dimitri blinked seemingly moved, then narrowed his eyes once more. “Da… So you Pegans always say. And yet… Your city is as intact, wealthy, and glorious as ever. You have to admit that is just a little suspicious. The Enclave reduced Friendship City to ash, but Los Pegasus stands.”
Silverlight laughed. “Los Pegasus will not fall until Equus itself breaks. That is our duty and our pride. The Enclave encountered wastelanders in Friendship City. Wastelanders with salvaged weapons, piecemeal armor, and only a few encamped weapons. The Enclave outclassed their defences in every way you can imagine.
“Yet, when they arrived at our wall, they found no less than an even match. Their scouts reported we were well defended. They miscalculated how well defended. We sell weapons and ammunition, my good Talon. We are protected by the wall of guns, our streets are its magazines. And, unlike the poor souls in Friendship City… Well, let’s just say that any Pegan who can't field-strip their chosen weapon and bulls eye a Sparkle-Cola bottle a half kilometer’s distance from the top of our wall by age five was born to horrible parents.”
It seemed a little silly to me that Dimitri didn’t quite get that the wastelands number one arms dealer would be hard to destroy. They had guns for days! … Centuries, maybe.
“That doesn't explain why you wouldn’t trade with the Enclave!” Chilled snapped. “They tried to fight you and failed. That doesn't even explain why you’d hate them!”
Silverlight turned to face Chilled and took a few steps wards him. “I hate them because they are traitors to Equestria who abandoned her during our hour of need. I hate them because they had the power to help all of us recover after the bombardment they made immeasurably worse by blocking off the skies and thereby preventing Celestia Prime’s use as a missile defense system. I hate them because they are traitors, evil, and as responsible for the quality of life we suffer through today as the Zebrican Empire itself. Suggest I, or any other Pegan, would lend them aid of any kind again, sir, and I will be forced to challenge you to a duel.”
Damn…
That was a pretty good reason to hate the Enclave no matter who you were… Her Highness needed to know that ASAP. Also, just… Damn!
Dimitri shook his head, his beak hanging open in shock. “I don’t believe it! I heard you still identify as a part of Equestria after all these years but I never believed it.”
“Los Pegasus is the last living piece of Equestria,” Silverlight said solemnly. “If it dies, so does our hope to return to the prosperous life our ancestors knew. The world will break before we allow Los Pegasus to fall!”
Dimitri rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Tenpony Tower begs to differ.”
I cleared my throat, not wanting either side to say something they would regret. “Dimitri, how about I escort him back to the train? You take his message to your superiors, and let them know that I think it’s a little unfair to withhold the location of the dragon’s cave from him on principle. At the very least, shouldn’t Spike be allowed to decide who visits him? It seems unwise to tell a dragon whom they can and cannot converse with.”
Demitri blinked and looked at me as if I had said something profound. “Y— you know, that’s a good point. Spike’s not one of our citizens. We don’t really have authority over him. I— I actually don't know if the isolation is Spike’s wishes or not… I’ll pass the message along. Just get him out of here before… There’s an incident.”
I nodded. “Thank you. I promise there won’t be any trouble.”
“Sarge,” the pony who had tried to grapple Silverlight said cautiously. “You saw how well my tackle went. You really think a tiny mare with obvious slut-flanks can handle him?”
Dimitri, and the rest of the squad, even Chilled, looked at him like he was an idiot. I looked at him like he was a jerk.
“Private, this is The Machine. She wrestled three mutant bears at once, won, and thinks of that as just another day in the office,” Dimitri said flatly.
“Oh, shit! That’s The Machine?!” The trooper stammered, staring at me like I was made of gold or something…
I blinked. “Day in the office? Uh, I’m a mailmare. I don’t work in an office… Oh! Right, that was a saying. They were in my way and they paid for overnight delivery. What else could I do? Be late? It was just a few bears… Not like they were a swarm of hungry Windigos or anything… Although I could probably make it through one of those if I really had to...” I hummed and stroked my muzzle gently. “Not sure if I could make a delivery through one of those on time though. I’d probably be at least a few minutes late.”
Probably not more than an hour tops… Actually, I should start pre-planning a windigo swarm navigation strategy. My old one isn’t quite as effective anymore.
The Troopers stared at me for a long awkward moment. Then the private cleared his throat. “Yeah, so, she can take him then.”
Silverlight cleared his throat and turned to walk away. “Come, Miss Gears. Let’s leave.”
We walked back towards the train, Wander and Speed falling in line behind us as we went. We walked in silence until we’d left the market. Then, Silverlight finally spoke.
“Thank you. I doubt anything will come of it, but that was a clever move… I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. You definitely prevented a diplomatic incident, and tensions are high enough as is.”
“I can't see how they would be anything else if they think your leader can control minds,” I said, smiling as I knew I was in on the secret. It felt fun to be in on something for a change. “How is that a thing?”
“Did I not tell you the story a few nights ago?” Silverlight asked with a surprised gasp.
“You did… I just want to be absolutely certain.”
“I see. According to the version of events that gets passed around, the Prince took over Los Pegasus purely through persuasion… and with a few sanctioned assassinations by his more zealous followers. He has a natural silver tongue, when his emotions are not running hot. I can tell you from personal experience that if he knows enough about your culture and you as a pony, he could talk you into nearly anything given enough time.”
I nodded. “I see… That would make me think mind control too.”
“I assure you it’s not,” Silverlight insisted with a chuckle.
“How do you know?” I asked, wondering if there was any real proof he couldn’t.
After all, the way he’d basically hit Wander’s issues with a flying elbow drop made of words so hard she’d budged a bit had been beyond impressive, and certainly felt like magic to me...
Silverlight chuckled. “Because he is an Earth Pony.”
“Oh!” I said with a sage nod.
That was a very good rea—
WAIT!
I turned and glared at Silverlight. “Except I’ve seen him use magic. Specifically telekinesis, to wield a sword.”
Silverlight laughed. “Oh, Miss Gears. Certainly you are aware of the wide variety of enchanted items which can be made, and have been made over the ages.”
“Oh… The sword can lift itself for you?” I asked curiously.
Speed squeed. “I want one!”
Silverlight hummed looked over his shoulder at her, then shook his head. “No… You already have a magic chainsaw.”
“She’s not magic!” Speed protested.
“You cut through a shotgun barrel with it!” Wander, Silver, and I said in unison.
“She just really really really wanted to help me make Daisy!” Speed protested, her wings flapping angrily.
I squinted at the chainsaw, searching it for a machine spirit… “There’s no awake spirit in there.”
Speed reached back with a hoof to pat her weapon lovingly. “She didn’t mean that, Slicy!”
“Aaany way,” Silverlight said slowly before turning back to me. “My blade isn’t self wielding, though we do have a few relics which are. I am able to cast spells as if I were a unicorn thanks to an amulet I discovered many years ago.”
“An amulet?” I asked curiously. “I assume you only got it after the Prince came to power?”
“Indeed,” Silverlight confirmed. “We discovered it buried within the Everfree Forest. It held an evil entity within it when we found it, but with the assistance of several wizards, we were able to convince the evil within it the world had already been destroyed. In addition to being evil, the entity was also very lazy, and departed from the amulet glad it didn't actually have to bring ruin to the world by itself.”
“Wow!” I said my ears laying back. “And here I thought you were smart!”
“I am intelligent,” Silver said, sounding quite hurt. “I assure you, the amulet is free of all influences now. I’ll even allow you to examine it once we are in private.”
“Yeah, I think I will do that now, if you don’t mind!” I said, stopping in my tracks. “Because it sounds like you found a soul-jar, or some other massively powerful necromantic relic!”
Silverlight passed and raised a hoof to his chin. “Well… Why not? The other Shamen I asked said it was safe to use. I am certain you will as well.”
Silverlight reached into his cloak’s front, and with a jingling of metallic chain, pulled a large amulet out from within his armor’s breastplate. It was made from a silvery grey-blue metal, and a large red crystal. The amulet itself was cut to resemble the silhouette of an alicorn with its wings spread.
I focused my arcane senses on the amulet. While I could tell it held immense arcane power, there was no spirit of any kind inhabiting it.
“Huh… Okay, I guess it is spirit free,” I remarked as I blinked in surprise.
“Oh good… It’s soul free too,” Wander said shakily. “Good to know what happened to that amulet… Was pretty worried somepony would dig it up and we’d get Red Eye 2: Crystal Edition.”
Silverlight turned to face Wander and tucked the amulet away. “You know what it is?”
“Mmmmm no… But I know what it used to do,” Wander said with a shiver. “I lived in Ponyville, you see?”
“I’m afraid I do not,” Silverlight admitted.
“Look, the last pony I saw wearing that thing was obviously possessed by it, like, full on leaking dark magic from her eye-sockets, total personality resculpting in progress, possessed! She trapped the entire town under a giant fishbowl she conjured to torment us because one time, Applejack talked Twilight into being a dick to a stage magician… it’s a more nuanced story than that, but yeah… If there is anything in there still, it’s WAY more subtle about it this time… And since I always figured that thing belonged to King Sombra at one point, I think we’re fine. Subtle wasn’t his thing.”
Silverlight blinked. “King Sombra? But… He lived over one and a half thousand years ago. You can’t possibly be that old. No ghoul is over three hundred years old!”
“Oh, he resurrected in… 2042,” Wander corrected with a huge grin. “We blew him up! Well, Shining Armor did. He threw his wife at him and he exploded. It was awesome! I had a picture of it painted on the side of my wagon.”
Oh yeah! Queen Katydid mentioned Great Uncle Spike was involved with that somehow! How did the story go ag—
Wait, no. Conversation now. Story later. Also… Wait a moment...
I blinked several times before looking Wander in her eyes. “Wait… An ancient arch-lich resurrected himself in Equestria before the great war, and that wasn’t what ended the world?”
Wander sighed. “Look… There was a brief time, when the Elements of Harmony were usable by ponies, and their Beares all got along well. If they hadn’t drifted apart over the years, the war wouldn’t have ever gotten bad. But they did, and it did… I— I’d rather not think about just how many times they saved the world… It makes their failure to save it from this hurt all the worse, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. Let’s just get to the train.”
Silverlight nodded in agreement. “Indeed. Given the situation, I will be recalling everypony and we will leave early. If I stay, they will interrogate me and likely find out we lied about my identity. We must depart tonight.”
“Awww…” Speed said sadly. “I wanted to perform more!”
“We can put on a show in Los Pegasus.” Wander promised.
“OH!” I said, remembering the spellbook and quickly sliding it out of my saddlebag. “Since we are leaving now, here! I managed to find a spellbook for you. It was only six thousand bits and also a kiss for some reason.”
Wander gasped behind me. “Gears! No!”
Silverlight took the book from me with his telekinesis looked at it, and laughed. “Oh my… Miss Gears, I believe you may have been mistaken.”
He opened the cover and flipped through the first few pages. “Oh. I see. It actually is a spellbook.”
“Um, what else would it be?” I asked with a steep frown.
Wander groaned. “Oh, Luna… This makes it so much wor—”
Silverlight whinnied happily. “Oh! I see. The title isn’t… Well. Of all the things I expected to find in a book with that title written by Cadence herself, a spell to make ordinary wallpaper look and feel like marble isn’t what I expected. This will be invaluable to our palace restoration project! Thank you, Miss Gears.”
“What?!” Wander asked pushing her way up to Silver’s side to look at the spellbook. “I— It actually is a book of home decoration spells?! WHAT?!”
I frowned and flicked my tail curiously. “Um, duh? What else would it have been?”
☢★★◯★★☢
The land train ride was as dull as I remembered… I’d been so looking forward to some time alone with my marefriend. Instead, back in the sardine can we went…
With little else to do but stare out the windows, time blurred together. I had vague memories of endless kilometers of sandy hills, rocky outcroppings, short pathetic looking bushes, and nearly infinite hordes of cacti.
Also hot. It was very hot. Even with my good coolant it was so hot… Council Chamber hot.
Those poor guards! They had to endure this all day every day…
At least I got to see a few interesting things along the way. Of the many plateaus we passed on our route, almost all of them had glowing crystals jutting up from the top, swept to one side like a flowing mane. Glass, made from the sand kicked up by the balefire bombs over two centuries ago, melted in mid air by the heat wave, then flash-cooled by the overpressure wave which followed.
I wasn’t sure if they truly glowed on their own, or if they simply caught the last rays of the setting sun, but either way, they were oddly beautiful. If the world ever recovered, these… Balefire Crystals might become a wonder of the world. A place ponies brought their foals to remember history.
Unlike the massive anthill we passed some time later. Which wasn’t actually an anthill, but in fact, a huge pile of ants posed in the shape of an ant hill so as to protect their colony, which lived inside the very mound the made. Thank you, Vantapink. I did not need to know that.
Aside from those landmarks, there was little else but acre after acre of long abandoned, decaying homestead and farms. Places ponies had once earned a living, before the end of the world had stripped the nutrients from the soil and replaced them with toxic magical residue.
There also might have been an old coal power plant… I wasn’t quite sure if I’d seen that. My mind was more than a little preoccupied with something I’d leaned.
I wasn’t the only robopony out there. In Winnyanpolice there was a little family of sorts, of ponies like me. While I had found Wander, Speed, and Rainbow, ponies who liked me for what I was… The idea of a community - an entire community - of people like me… I had to go! I had to see it. I had to say hello and—
A bright light flashed in my eyes as the train turned. I looked out the window, searching for what on earth could be that bright. As messed up as the day-night cycle of the Heartlands was, the sun had set less than an hour ago. Night had never, ever, ever been less than six hours long the entire time I had been here! So what was—
My ears drooped. My jaw dropped in awe. The light came from one point on the horizon. It was warm, yellowish orange. Electric lights. A ton of them. Glowing away in the night like a tiny sun. From behind an enormous, towering, monolithic, concrete wall on the horizon.
Los Pegasus. The last living piece of Equestria.